Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Update - January 09, 2008 - Weatherfield Primary Results


Winner of the Baby Mama Party Primary - Eileen Grimshaw

At the Grimshaw's, Jason sits brooding, looking at Holly/Chloe - let's call her Chlolly, shall we? - and no longer seeing a daughter but Charlie Stubbs. Given that the baby was given to wearing wife-beaters, smirked a lot, and had a 3 day stubble, it's a wonder that the possibility didn't present itself earlier.

Eileen makes the case that the baby is still theirs, but Jason isn't so sure.

Later, he tells Violet that they'll have no real way of fighting Chlolly's hoochie mama Emma from taking her back. Eileen says she's going to apply to be Chlolly's guardian. Jason gets steamed and heads out.

At the yard, Bill gives Jason the good news that his and Audrey's (well, Audrey's, really) offer on the yard has been approved. He notes Jason won't have to worry about providing for baby Chlolly now but Jason isn't in the mood to hear it.

Later at the café, Jason tells a sympathetic Sarah about Chlolly's true identity. She understands his conflicted feelings on the subject and asks what he wants to do now. He isn't sure, having never faced such a choice before.

Later, Jason tells Eileen that, in reality, they simply have no right to the baby. She isn't theirs. He quite reasonably points out that DNA tests will see to that. Eileen maintains that Emma is after Charlie's money, causing him to lose his cool.

"Holly is the result of a drunken fumble between Charlie and some woman I don't know," he tells her. "I'm not going to give 20 years of my life because of that. And if you want to fight for her, that's fine. But you'll be doing it on your own!"

Winner of the (Fight for Your) Right to Party Primary - Jerry Morton

It's the morning after the night before, at the Mortons. The bodies have hit the floor and Young Shane McGowan is on the couch, vowing never to drink again. Jerry whips up his famous hangover cure of raw eggs, eggplant, HP Sauce, Yop, nutmeg, and an olive. Young Shane is almost sick just looking at it. Meanwhile, Mel is preparing for her run to "detox" by 11:00am. Remember when people didn't use foolish terms like detox in reference something as minor as a hangover? I miss those days.

Next door, Gail is rather hungover herself and has no memory of going arse over kettle through her own fence, blaming it on the neighbours to a bemused David. She threatens to get an ass-bow. Wait, is she getting married now? Does she want an ass-bow for her dress?

Oh, ASBO. Anti-Social Behaviour Order. Right.

Later, David goes out and gets his chub on for Young Shane McGowan's new car. They go out for a spin together, to the annoyance of Betty. Don't mess with my Betty!

Later, Gail comes out to the back garden, hearing the sound of an electric drill. It's Jerrry, fixing the fence as his father, Marley's Ghost looks on. Marley points out it was Gail who fell through the fence but also notes that she was too drunk to remember. Maybe I was too drunk to remember but I thought Marley's Ghost grabbed a bag of hot wings, a few cans, and absconded long before the party got that fun. Oh well, Gail is well embarrassed and that's always fun to see.

Winner of the Labour Party Primary - Vernon Tomlin

Vernon is a changed man today. He's made breakfast for all and sundry and claims he has a woman who believes in him and as such, he believes in himself. He also says he has a special errand today which Liz takes to mean he's going to look for a job.

Later, after Vern's cleaned the basement, he heads out. Shortly after Derek the beer delivery man comes and Liz perks up. Michelle mentions this to Betty who says, "There are some things it's best not to notice. How do you think I've kept my job these 38 years?"

Vern comes back and rushes Liz into the back room. He says he has something to tell her. Liz thinks he means he got a job but - surprise! - he goes down on one ring and produces a teeny, tiny ring and pops the question, along with a few bars of this song.

"Oh, all right then!" says Liz.

Vern takes her back out the bar and announces his engagement to Elizabeth Jane Macdonald, along with champagne on the house, to both Liz and Steve's silent dismay.

"Don't worry. You won't have to call me Dad," Vern says to Steve, who says nothing but his face says it all.

Originally Broadcast, April 13, 2007

23 comments:

amye said...

Is "father morton" not the most annoying character ever. Always shouting his lines and making a big show of himself. I want to hit mute every time his mug comes on the screen. Out of all of them the youngest girl and Mel seem interesting the rest, blah.

I love how Leanne is a high class lady now and wears that awesome sweater with the fun fur shoulders :-P

Jackie said...

I wanted to scream at the TV, RUN LIZ RUN!!!!! I'm hoping for another, "Left at the alter" story line. I think Vern is ok for a few laughs, but seriously Liz!

I think even she is starting to see the light that is Vern.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the morning laughs!

Liz and Vern married? Say it isn't so! Surely she deserves better. One can only hope she sees the light.

I loved watching Sal try to snoop through the house and being caught by the kid. (still can't get the names straight). At least Jerry fixes things but trust sourpuss Gail to come out complaining.
Love the name Marley for grandpa Morton; it fits.

Sad for Eileen if she loses Holly but good for Jason for standing up for himself.

Debbie said...

That update was pure gold.

I like Vernon more and more. He's lovable. Also, I LOVE the way he talks to Steve "Don't worry, you don't have to call me dad!" HA! That killed me. And the song! I loved it. If only he could manage an honest day's graft!

pip said...

Give yourself a shake, Liz, what are you thinking? Clearly she doesn't really want to marry him, so I don't understand why she said yes. And I agree with you, Debbie, for some reason Vern is seeming a bit more likeable these days.

Jason is spot on in saying he won't raise Chlolly. Eileen is trying to fill the man-gap in her life with a baby.

Jerry is starting to grow on me. I think there's romance in the air for him and Gail.

Anonymous said...

The part about Vern's announcement that caught my ear was when he called Liz "spinster of this parish". Is he unaware that she has a husband already, and he's in the pokey?

I realize it's a figure of speech, but is it possible that Liz has been a little... stingy with the full disclosure there?

Michigander Fan

Anonymous said...

The part about Vern's announcement that caught my ear was when he called Liz "spinster of this parish". Is he unaware that she has a husband already, and he's in the pokey?

I realize it's a figure of speech, but is it possible that Liz has been a little... stingy with the full disclosure there?

Michigander Fan

Anonymous said...

Sorry about the double-post.

The Eileen story is breaking my heart. I don't even want to comment on it.

MF

John said...

"Spinster of the Parish" darn it, I KNEW there was a line I wanted to remember last night!

Whitehorse Fan said...

You know, I can see why Liz said yes. She doesn't want to hurt him. She doesn't actually want to break up with him, but she thinks this is kind of a deal breaker. So she says yes.

I have known people who have sort of drifted into marriage because the next logical step was either marriage or break up. And marriage at the time seemed easier. Of course it only puts off the inevitable, and makes things more difficult in the end, but I think it happens more often than people care to admit.

Anonymous said...

Didn't Liz decide to divorce Jim quite awhile ago? She said she needed a man in her life and was sick of him getting in trouble and having his sentence lengthened. Too bad she couldn't find a man with a job at least. I don't think she's too keen on marrying Vernon until he shows some ambition.

Jacqueline said...

#1 - Vern ain't growing on me yet.

#2 - Sarah and Jason as a couple are very much growing on me.

#3 - Marley and Blanche should date.

#4 - Actually movement and water I've always found to be the best cure for a hangover.

#5 - From waaaaaay back, does anyone else suspect a 'sting' with Paul's inability to win a golf game? I keep thinking he's leading them down the garden path.

John said...

#4 - I'm sure it is - just as some aspirin and water before bed can minimize a hangover. I just think it's funny these days how everyone is an amateur health expert and can talk confidently about such things as "detoxing" and "dehydration," something we used to call "being thirsty."

frank said...

# 3 - About time Blanche dated again. I think Wally Bannister was her last fling. Marley can't be any worse. Or can he ????

pip said...

Jacqueline, I agreew with you about Jason and Sarah. Over the past several months Sarah has really matured, and Jason isn't doing too badly either.

Marley and Blanche!! That would be the date from hell. I don't think Marley has the b*lls to stand up to Blanche.

papasmurf said...

It seems like Paul is setting up Dev and Steve on the golf course for some sort of future payoff.

kunzie said...

#1 - Me either. But I think it's cool that he has a fan in Debbie.

#2 - Me too. Both are maturing. By the way Gail, where's Sarah's car???

#3 - BWA! HA! Tea-spitting moment, thanks.

#4 - Blanket. Corrie. Pasta.

#5 - Absolutely...I can't see any other reason for this plotline.

Pink Lady said...

As always, a fab update John!

Any engagement would be over the second after I was called "Spinster of the Parish"!

Also, thought it was hilarious that only the customers in the Rovers (i.e. not the staff) was enthusiastic about the engagement! While I always welcome free booze, I'm not sure that I could have pulled that off with a straight face!

Corrie Quebec said...

I'm with Jacqueline on the whole golf theory. Paul must be planning something.....if not, where could they be going with this story?

Anonymous said...

Perhaps, although I doubt this, there is no golf story. Maybe this is the business owners' equivalent of the former book club -- where Blanche utterd the words I want "Hard Grinding" constantly!

Leanne arrived on the street with an awesome haircut. Where did that go? It's the old Leanne 'do now.

And no, I would not marry Vernon. You couldn't make me drunk enough to do that. However, it appears you could make Sally, Claire and Gail that drunk...

Blanche and Marley, gruesome!!!

Eileen, god bless her, needs the Eileen version of a Charlie for for a few dirty weekends.

-missusmac

Trudy C said...

Paul is definately up to something. Maybe they each put their businesses on the line and Paul walks away with the Corner Shop and the Rovers

frank said...

The same thing has croseed my mind Trudy. However all three golfers discuss the games, at The Rovers, with Michelle in hearing range. She must know if Paul can golf or not.I think she would not mind if Paul did a minor con on Dev and Steve but she woud not condone a major swindle.

Anonymous said...

I'm probably in the minority here but I like the Mortons. Especially Jerry, he seems to really love kids - even if they aren't his! What I don't get is how all of these single parents can afford to buy cars for their kids! Do any of these kids even have a driver's license. Car insurance in the UK must be dirt cheap. My son (19) pays a fortune for his insurance (on a car he paid for himself).