Saturday, June 30, 2007

Bev and Fred's Wedding: Part I


The episode opens with Bev contemplating a crate of empty bottles out back in the early morning sun. She tells Liz that she thought she’d end up a widow that no one wants to visit because “what do you talk about?”

Instead, she’s marrying Fred, “and it’s like all the colour and warmth come back. And I got this funny feeling I didn’t recognize at first. And then I realized it’s called… being happy. And I am. I’m so happy, I can’t tell ya.”
“I think you just have,” Liz smiles.

The street buzzes with preparations for the wedding. Liz and Michelle are chilling bottles for the Champagne breakfast, Blanche has donned her biggest, purplest hat, Steve is scrubbing the taxis, and Eileen is searching desperately for someone to do her hair. Les wonders why people that old bother to get married.
“Companionship, sharing, not being on your own,” replies Eileen, “But more important it’s about telling everybody how much you love and respect your other partner.” Les looks baffled. “Oh, what is the point?” she grumbles.

Meanwhile, Audrey is losing her sh!t over at the salon. She tells Gail she couldn’t sleep. Then she snaps at Maria that she doesn’t feel well and Maria’s just going to have to go over and do Bev’s wedding hair because she’s going home.

Over at the Peacock residence, Fred has happy butterflies and Josh is a darling in his little suit. Claire is bright and happy, making jokes about pills. Some people don’t like Claire but I think she shines when she’s in the right mood.
Fred thanks her for making the effort.
“I should hope I have, I am your daughter-in-law,” she replies.
“Aye, and that can’t have been easy,” he says.

“You and me, we need to have a talk,” Ashley says to Fred.
“Do we?!” Fred growls angrily and stomps off.
Ashley finds him in the garden smoking. He asks Fred if he’s sure he’s marrying the right one. He says that it’s no use being married to Bev if Fred's just going to thinking about Audrey. Fred is clearly tormented.

At the pub, the ladies are gathering to make fun of the bride and groom. Honestly, they’re just terrible, the jokes they crack about Bev settling for Fred. Frankie reminds them that they’ll all be crying at the “I do’s”. They all agree. Too bad Frankie seems to have a dead bird glued to her head.

Audrey calls the Peacock house and gets Ashley. She apologizes that she won’t be making it to the wedding. Ashley decides not to tell Fred, who looks smashing in his dark suit and lavender tie.
“I didn’t get this til I were 40, then I went up like a balloon,” Fred says about his weight. Ashley laughs and Fred wags his finger, “you might have it coming yet, I say, you might have it coming yet!”

Ashley asks if he’s sure it’s Bev he wants to marry and Fred replies that he’s sure it’s what he’s going to do. “That’s not what I asked,” Ashley said. Fred orders him to fetch a “scotch and threat”.

I think Bev looks gorgeous. I suck at fashion vocabulary, but I’ll give it a go: She emerges in a 1950’s style lavender cocktail dress with a satin bodice, a flared lace skirt, and a ¾ lace sleeve. Her hair is held back by a white feather clamp-style hat. And she’s smiling ear-to-ear. This is indeed the happiest day of her life.

Her Matron-of-Honour, Claire, is wearing the Marilyn dress we saw earlier on Shelley. She fills it out particularly, er, well. Where the ‘eck has she been hiding those?!

There’s a bit of kafuffle in the street when Bride and Groom emerge simultaneously. Bev dives behind Dierdre and Ken as Fred is hustled into Dev’s car yelling, “I’ve not seen ya, I say I’ve not seen ya!” Norris thinks it’s all superstitious nonsense.

Bev has been telling everyone that Shelley is on holiday, which raises a few eyebrows. So she decides to tell everyone that while on said holiday, Shelley came down with a stomach bug and can’t be in company. But never mind, here comes the gorgeous antique car that Fred hired for her!

Cut to Audrey sitting at home alone saying sadly, “you only have yourself to blame.”

At the church, Fred greets the guests as Ashley tries to get him to address the problem at hand. Fred says it will all be resolved when Audrey witnesses him marrying Bev. Ashley admits that she’d called earlier and won't be coming. Fred pulls Gail aside, who confirms that her mom is actually quite depressed. “But I do know this, Fred. She’ll be thinking of you.”

Fred tricks Dev into giving him the keys to the car, saying he dropped Bev’s present in the back seat. “You’ve not left him with the keys, have you?” Ashley exclaims and runs after his father.

But it’s too late. As Bev climbs into the special car, beaming with anticipation, her groom speeds off in Dev’s car, presumably racing to Audrey.

TO BE CONTINUED.

Friday, June 29, 2007

That Mitchell and Webb Look

Remember how CBC Country Canada used to run Corrie classics and then re-ran them again, then just stopped, and we all wondered why we still have this channel in our cable lineup?

Well, now there's a reason as That Mitchell and Webb Look premieres today on the channel:



(obliquely related to Corrie, but I thought it was worth sharing)

Happy Canada - Don't Forget

Happy Canada Day weekend all!

Just a suggestion for all of you who may be heading to the cottage this weekend, set your vcr's or pvr's to record tonight's episode.

Fred and Bev get married, so you don't want to miss it.

And we'll leave it at that.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

The Betty Vagyok! Update

Traditional Hungarian Wedding

Mother-of-the-Runaway In Denial

Craig thinks that running away is a far bigger deal than Rosie knows. At least he has no family to leave behind. But Rosie says she's sure it’s time to go.

They are discussing the great gigs of Berlin when Sally interrupts to tell them how happy she is that they’re coming to Paris.
“Poor cow, I feel sorry for her,” Craig says as Sally heads to the Kabin.
“I don’t,” Rosie replies, “Forces her to live her own life for a change.”

Sally, meanwhile, gushes to Rita and Norris how nice it is to enter that phase where her daughters treat her more as a friend. “It’s a bit of mutual respect,” she says.
“You mean respeck,” Norris says, “that’s what they say nowadays.”

Groom-to-Be Has Case of Collywobbles

In the street, Roy and Hayley interrupt an awkward and brief encounter between Audrey and Fred to offer their vote of confidence towards the institution of marriage.
“Well, it doesn’t suit some,” Blanche suddenly appears. “Still, you’re getting on now,” she says to Fred, “if you’re miserable, you won’t have that long to endure it.”
Blanche thinks Bev is a “hopeless lush” who just wants Fred for his money. And she doesn’t mind telling everyone.

Fred is basically tormented for the duration of the episode. He barely ever cracks a smile. Bev’s belly is “like a cement mixer” as she prepares for the party in the pub. When he snaps at her, she confronts him on his dark mood. He says also he has the “last minute collywobbles.” She says gently that she has no doubts, but that it’s not too late for him to change his mind.
“I’d never do that,” he replies, “never.”
“Becoming Mrs. Elliot will be the greatest day of me life,” she says.
“And the proudest moment of mine,” he replies.

Liz, overhearing, reassures Bev that Fred’s desperate to marry her. She thinks he’s just freaked that he’s finally living the dream.

Audrey, meanwhile, has decided she’ll dedicate the evening to her wayward grandson. Gail eventually gets Audrey to admit she’s had a falling out with Fred, that she said things “out of turn” about Bev. But Audrey doesn’t go as far as to admit to her daughter that she’s in love.

Matron-of-Honor On Drugs. And It's Legal!

Ashley and Claire struggle to bring normalcy back into their relationship. Ashley is being overly attentive. Fred sits him down to have a talk at the butcher’s. Ashley goes off about how he’s way out of his depth with Claire, how she’s not the same Claire as before, that he doesn’t know what to do. Fred tells him rather harshly to be quiet (yay! Finally!).
“You’re not out of your depth. She doesn’t need a psychiatrist, she need an ‘usband! Your job’s simple. You have to love her and care for her. Put her before anything and anyone, listen to what she says, be sympathetic but be firm. Tell her the truth. She needs you. She needs you the way you’ve always been. Stand up straight.”
“Thanks Dad,” says Ashley, “I don’t know what I’d do without ya.”
“I’ll be at the end of the phone whenever you need me.”
Later, Ashley and Claire seem to be cozying up again.

Bride-to-Be Is Nervous. She Should Be

Rita stands up to raise a toast to the ‘appy couple just as Audrey enters the pub. Fred immediately drags Bev into the back room where he tries to admit what’s going on. But all he can get out is another marriage proposal (old habits die hard, especially when nervous) and that he holds her in the highest esteem and regard. Bev is clearly a little freaked waiting for the “but”, however Liz interrupts and drags them back into the pub.

When Fred is finally pushed to make a speech, he does so beautifully: “I’m uncharacteristically nervous. So many friends come to wish us well. Thank you. Meeting Beverley and her accepting my offer of marriage has been a source of great joy to me.”
“’Bout time someone accepted,” Les yells out.
“Thank you Leslie,” Fred continues, “I believe I have somewhat of a reputation for being a serial proposer o’er the years. And I want to thank all them marvelous ladies who said no. Because they allowed me to marry the one true love of me life, Beverly Ulwin. To Beverly,” he raises his glass. Cut to Audrey who looks like her heart just broke in two.

Then Fred disappears. Ashley finds him out back having a cigarette. Fred admits to Ashley what’s going on with Audrey. Ashley reacts with his usual level headedness, “how cruel is she, telling you this ten minutes before you get wed?”
Fred says that cruel or not, knowing makes all the difference. “She’s put me in a terrible position. I feel like I’m being filleted! I don’t know what to do!”

I guess we’ll find out tomorrow!

In Other News:
  • Les and Cilla are choked when the pub closes to all but those invited to Fred and Bev's private party. Les decides they should hide in the bathroom and join the party unnoticed. He's off to hide when Sean tells Cilla that regulars are welcome to stay. Cilla lets Les sit it out in can.
  • Norris practices his Hungarian.
  • Blanche tries unsuccessfully to make Dierdre tell her why she fell out with Bev.
  • Claire apologizes to Roy for her behavior. She blames it on stress.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Update - June 27 - "Indicate! Indicate!"

Wir sind Berlinners

Rosie and Craig meet up with David, who boasts that he has dropped out of school and there's nothing his mum can do about it (somewhat different from the conversation he had with Gail.

David later meets up with Audrey and asks if he can visit tonight. She flatly refuses, explaining that he won't get his confiscated property until he goes back to school.

Meanwhile, Sally asks the star-crossed lovers if they'd like come in for something to eat. They refuse, deciding instead to get something at Wong's. Rosie complains that her mother is smothering with her offers of lunch. She moans that her mother used to be so cool once upon a time and wants something different than living and working on the same street all her life.

And as though the plot has somehow been constructed in such a way as to illustrate Rosie and Craig's alienation from mainstream society, they proceed to the chippy where Cilla and Yana are back from Cyprus: land of ancient ruins, Canadian peacekeepers, and cheap holidays for drunken Brits. Craig mentions that he heard that Ayia Napa has some interesting Roman ruins. Cilla and Yana look disgusted.

"I don't do culture," says Yana.

"We just want sun," Cilla adds. "We don't want anything ... foreign."

This is Ayia Napa. It looks like Hell.

Then they moan that it doesn't matter where you go, when you come back, it's as though you never left.

Rosie and Craig promise each other that they will never end up like those two with nothing to look forward to but a fortnight's sun holiday every year.

Back at Craig's squat, they've got the Rough Guide and are playing "What City Am I?"

It's got an amazing underground music scene and alternative culture. It's Moncton!

Ok, it's Berlin. Craig says his mate's brother lives there and told him all about the music scene. Rosie thinks they should live there someday. Craig suggests that they go now and make like David Platt and drop out of school.

So they head down to the Websters and tell them that they have something to tell them. Sally and Kevin make the "she's up the duff" face until they say they've decided to go to Paris with them after all. Unbeknownst to her parents, they plan to hop a train to Berlin as soon as they get there.

Nothing Too Trendy

Bev has gone to Audrey's to get her hair done for the wedding in two days (that's on Friday, you and me). She notices that both Fred and Audrey have been distant lately but she chalks up Fred's absent mindedness to Claire's return from th'ospickle.

At Fred's house, Bev is showing Josh how to break eggs. Fred looks at her and says, quietly, "You're a wonderful woman, Beverly Unwin. I do love you."

At the salon, Audrey asks Bev about Fred. Bev says he seems stressed. Audrey asks if he's thinking about cancelling the wedding (tactful). She says at their age, there's no time for putting things off.

Audrey says she thinks that's the best policy, too.

The Road Warrior

Kirk drives his friend's borrowed car, covered in Learner's Permit stickers, for Fizz's driving lessons. After almost killing Bev and then driving in a left-handed circle for an hour (that's right-handed, you and me), Fizz gets frustrated with Kirk's constant directions.

"Indicate! Indicate!" he exclaims as she makes yet another turn.

Later in the Rovers, she complains that it's like being in a car with a Dalek. Her mates from the factory do agree, however, that her driving skills leave something to be desired and that it's nice of him to offer driving lessons when she'd pay a fortune at a driving school. She buys him a pint to make up for getting angry with him earlier and they agree to continue with the lessons.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

Claire has returned home and is relieved that they didn't put out a "Welcome home from the Booby Hatch, Claire!" banner out front. Claire's mental episode is staying within the family, so long as the subject doesn't come up with Bev is all liquored up.

Ashley is anxious that Claire must hate him after he tricked her into going into the hospital. But she says that she does not, that he saw what she couldn't. Then, as she approaches little Thomas Duncan Peacock (such a fine, fine middle name, I might add), there is anxiety among Fred, Ashley, Bev, and Josh that she'll kill him or something. But instead, she and Ashley take him upstairs to bed and her recovery continues.

In other news

Cilla and Yana went to Cyprus. Cilla again did not pull.

Clip Fun

Corrie Royal Variety Performance
Featuring Percy Sugden (the last 'real' man on Corrie.)



Rita, Emily, Norris and Roy Get High
Vera laces the brownies.

Glacia Suddenly Remembers It's Her Turn to Do the Update - Update

virgin

Putting the 'Man' in Manicure
Fred sees Audrey opening the shop and does one of his classic Fred sneer/shocked/anxious faces and runs in the other direction to the Rovers. Once at the Rovers, Bev complains about the state of his hands and Fred has to remind her that he's a butcher. (Good thing she's not marrying a mechanic, all I can say.) She tells him he needs a manicure, and Fred replies, 'A flaming manicure!' which makes Glacia giggle.

So away wi' him to the Salon, where at first Audrey tries to pretend there's no room for him to get groomed, but finally she calms down and takes him as her own client. Bev sweeps in to show off her new shoes and to wish Audrey luck on taking care of Fred's ears.

Finally, Maria leaves for the day and Fred asks Audrey why she has feelings for him now and not before. She tells him that she thought she could do better than Fred and that she was stupid and shallow. He then says, 'If I asked again now, what would you say?'

Audrey tells him she would have said 'Yes.'.

Sigh.....and then regret it. I think Audrey is just upset that her 'fallback guy' won't be there. Most of us have had that 'fallback' person in our lives, someone who we care about, but isn't 'the one'. I'm just surprised that with her years of experience she doesn't see her relationship with Fred for what it is.

I agree with one of the commentors, she should have hooked up with Archie.


Putting the Bore in Boring.
Tracey and Charlie hash it out. Ken and Deidre wring their hands about what'll ever happen to Tracey.

I feel a strange sense of deja vu.

Oh, I did like when Tracey told Charlie that with regards to him and Shelly, 'It's not the sex, it's the kissing. You kissed her, Charlie.'

I totally get that, somehow the kissing feels like the big betrayal, because it's not a sign that he lusts after her, it's a sign that he still lovers her.

Putting the 'Shite' in 'You Little Horrible Gobshite, I'm Gonna Smack You Upside the Head Three Ways to Sunday.'
First day back at school and David has decided to not go to school and to call himself a 'Highschool Rejector'. (Is that a real term?) He also tells her that this whole school thing is 'not his bag'.

Gayle talks to Audrey about this in the cafe and wonders why Haley and Roy can get Craig to go to school. (see comments about Craig appreciating having someone who cares about him.). Audrey tells Gayle that she's going to have to get tough and take away his allowance, telly and video game. Gayle wonders if she can survive the 'fallout'.

Regardless, she does remove the television and games and when David confronts her about this, she tells him that he needs to go to school. He says, 'Give me back my property and I'll think about going to school.'

At this point the dog had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on both myself and Mr. Glacia as we were choking on our falafels.

Gayle says, 'Go back to school and I'll think about giving you your stuff back.'

David replies that he's this way because of all of her psycho boyfriends and Gayle (in the most brilliant Gayle line ever) replies, 'Maybe you made them that way.' And Glacia cheers.

In the end, David tells her that he's never going to school so she needs to get used to it.

sowanttohitthatchild.

Putting the Fromage in the Moulin Rouge
Rosie maintains that Paris is poxy and she would much rather go to NYC.

Meanwhile, Sofie is becoming favoured child by picking up some french and learning about Paris.

'Je suis soupe.'

'Pardon, mais, ou est la vache?'

'Je veux une grande l'anana, s'il vous plait.'


Putting the Claire Back in the Home
In final news, Ashley visits Claire who tells him she's getting released tomorrow.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Update for Episode 6393 June 25, 2007



Number 13

Sal and Kev have a chat about their impending anniversary trip to Paris, all paid for by Kev's father. They come up with a plan to bring Craig along and play happy families - it should be straightforward to arrange what with texting and all that internet magic that kids are involved with these days.

Sal manages to get the gang together in the same place at the same time so she can tell them the exciting news. In honour of their 20 years of marriage (although Kev has a question about how she did her maths) the whole family is going - wait for the drumroll - to Paris!

Yawn.

The girls are less than over the moon. Rosie has already seen everything there is to see in Paris, after all she was there for a whole day.* Sophie admits that she might like to go. When Craig is told that he has been invited as well, he at least has the good manners to show some appreciation.

Sal has a bit of a rant.

*Papa Smurf spent a day in Paris and walked from Cathedral Notre Dame to The Louvre, saw the Mona Lisa, walked down the Champs Elysees to the Arc de Triomphe, up the 284 steps, over to and up the Eiffel Tower, and back along the Seine to where he started. So you can sort of see Paris in a day in a half assed kind of way.

Number 4

Bev and Fred natter on in the pub about a surprise he has for her. Romantic soul that Bev is, she tells him to keep the receipt - just in case. Fred beats a hasty retreat to go babysit young Thomas.

Ashley stops in at the hospickle to visit his crazed - er beloved wife. Claire seems to be right round the bend - er on the mend and assures Ashley that she will be at the wedding. Her only concern is that she won't be able to function without the happy pills that she is taking.

Join the rest of the soccer moms in the world Claire, there's no shame in it. As Mick and Keith put it - 'Mother's Little Helper'.

In The Salon Maria is trying to work a miracle with Liz's hair while she prattles on about the upcoming nuptials and the bad track record that Fred has had with marriages in the past. Audrey gets a sudden headache from something she heard and asks Maria if she can finish up for the day.

Audrey goes home and rings Fred to thank him for the 'last lunch' they had together. Fred, sensitive soul that he is, asks Audrey what is wrong. She tells Fred that she is feeling a bit nostalgic is all, nothing to worry about. Fred promises to come round as soon as he can.

As Fred is slipping out Bev is coming home. She asks her bethrothed where he is off to. Acting particularily suspicious, Fred tells her he is off to some business meeting that won't take long.

Fred and Audrey are chatting about how things are going to change between them after the wedding. Fred tells Audrey that he has always relied on her for advice and wise counsel. Audrey replies that he will have to turn to his wife for that sort of thing in future days. Fred responds by noting that Bev has 'other qualities'.

Translation - Bev doesn't have much of a brain.

Audrey is worried about being alone. Fred tells her that thee and me will always be good friends, and one day Audrey will meet someone. Audrey isn't interested in meeting anyone new though, she is past that sort of thing.

Fred tells Audrey that she was his first choice, that she had her chance. Audrey agrees and tells Fred 'It could have been me, and I wish it was'.

That genie is finally out of the bottle.

Realizing she has spoken out of turn, Audrey quickly teels Fred to forget what she has said. How can I forget? blusters poor Fred, who is now in a bit of a lather.

What is Fred to do? Who is he to choose?

Number 1 & Number 6

Charlie and Tracey have a debate over the morals and ethics of his behaviour. Somehow he justifies his behaviour by using the old 'two wrongs make a right' justification and does his best to shift the blame onto Shel. She came on to him, he was drunk, he couldn't tell Tracey the truth because he might lose her, you get the idea. Tracey walks out.

Tracey retreats to Number 1 to argue with her family for a little variety. Charlie comes round to finish the conversation. Ken tries to intervene, but Charlie and Tracey end up going to The Rovers to talk, but she isn't going to have a drink.

Charlie does his usual slithery sweet talking, asking how he can fix the biggest mistake of his life and ends up convincing Tracey to give him another chance.

Tracey goes home to tell her family that she is going back to Charlie. They are flabbergasted to say the least. Tracey defends her actions by pointing out the rather colourful history that Deirdre and Ken have had. Deirdre admits that they have had their rows but - Ken is no Charlie Stubbs. Amen to that.

Tracey returns to Number 6 with Amy in tow. Charlie does a bit of sucking up to the two of them before announcing that he has to go to the yard for an hour or so to do a 'little paperwork'. Charlie then oozes his way over to the flat of young Maria to further weave his web of deceit.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

The Lyin' Update

it's a lion lyin'. get it? heh.
Lying About Love

Frankie goes cheerfully about her business, oblivious to the fact that her stepson is in love with her. Said stepson has a hangover and lots of regret for having confided in Sean. Jaime meets Sean at the Café and makes him swear not to tell Violet. He says he didn’t mean it, he’s not really in love with Frankie.

“Yeah, right,” says the look on Sean’s face. Frankie stops by the table and ruffles Jaime’s hair. Probably doesn’t help.

Violet is desperate to understand WTF is up with her man. She gets nothing out of Sean except assurances that Jamie is definitely not gay. “He’s still yo-yo man. Jamie is clearly as straight as a die, whatever that is.”

Violet hopes the vacation to Ibiza will mend things. Jamie seems less than enthusiastic about it. It’s like he sees romance with Violet the way he should be seeing romance with his stepmother.

The Lyingest Lying Liar

“There is no evidence that David has ever been bullied at school,” reports the rather severe teacher, Ms. Smith, a.k.a “Smithy”.

Gail’s lips all but disappear as she marches her son home and goes off about, “I'll believe you if you tell me black's white, or day is night, or that it wasn't you sending cards from Richard or that it wasn't you playing truant because David, I want to be on your side. That's the most important thing so you can tell me anything and I'll believe it.”

I think she’s losing it.

The Master Liar Reduced to Begging

Maria is jonesing for some Charlie action. Charlie seems to be avoiding her. Could he really be so heartbroken over losing Tracy that he doesn’t want his action on the side? How sweet.

Blanche might resort to buying Charlie a drink just so that someone will tell her what the ‘eck is going on.

What’s going on is Tracy still won’t have anything to do with Charlie, despite his begging. Deirdre suggests they all pretend nothing’s going on so Tracy won’t be tempted to rebel and run back to him.

When Charlie comes knocking again, Tracy gets her coat to go talk at No. 6. Will they reconcile? At least Maria would get laid again.

Even More Lying About Love!

In a strange turn of events, Audrey suddenly finds herself in love with Fred, or so it seems. I think it’s case of wanting what you can’t have. To her credit, she defends Bev at every opportunity, telling Fred he really should have told Bev who he was going shopping with and shouldn’t be telling her Shelley’s private business.

The jeweler shows them sparkly watches and remarks how fine it’d look on Audrey. Fred interjects that he’s not marrying Audrey, but not for lack of proposing. He finally gave up and found a different bride. He jokes that Audrey probably feels like she’s had a close escape. The look on Audrey’s face suggests not.

Then Fred offers her choice of trinket for being such a good friend and she firmly refuses, causing Glacia to run to her computer to punch out, “(it) had me screaming...I say SCREAMING.....'TAKE THE BLING THAT IS OFFERED, AUDREY!”

Glacia, can you imagine how Bev would react if she found out Fred had bought Audrey something sparkly, too? There’d be bloodshed, I say, there’d be bloodshed! Audrey is simply being wise.

Fred is determined to tell Audrey what’s going with Shelley. It's a great scene when he finally blurts it out over dinner. Audrey’s all, “don’t tell me.”
He’s like, “she’s pregnant! Guess who with!”
“She is? No, don’t tell me, I don’t need to know.”
“Charlie Stubbs!”
“No way!”* Aw, Audrey’s a sucker for good gossip.

Then Audrey says something about dealing with her own feelings. Fred picks up on it but despite his prodding, Audrey keeps those feelings to herself. Will she ever admit to Fred she’s falling for him?

The Little Bits:

Kevin tells Sally that his dad bought them a trip to Paris for their anniversary. No lying in this scene that I can tell, though you can never tell with Sally.

* paraphrased

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Update - June 20 - "Don't say 'doth,' freak!"

Straight, not Narrow, but Really Quite Freaky

I just want to point out that I have always been pro-gay rights. I have gay friends. I have been to a gay wedding, the very type of wedding I wrote to my Member of Parliament and insist she support when the vote came 'round (she did). I am listening to the new Rufus Wainwright as I type this. It is fair to say that I am cool with the gay.

But, damn it, why do I always have to do the damn gay updates?!!?

Anyway, Sean has agreed. per Violet's request, to ask Jamie out on a date, under the pretence of decloseting him. He pops round the Baldwin's to ask Jamie if he fancies a boys' night out. Jamie is all too keen and Frankie wonders if he's got something to tell them. Violet suggests that he is confident in his sexuality that he can have a gay mate. He laughs this off and Frankie reminisces about her old gay friend Derek the Trolley Dolly (we are even treated later to an old photo of them dressed up for the Rocky Horror Picture Show).

Later at Eileen's, Sean is torn over what outfit to wear on his night out. Eileen thinks this is going a bit too far as he's only taking his straight friend out for a quiet drink. Sean scoffs at the suggestion that there is anything more to it and Eileen says that she believes the lady doth protest too much.

"Don't say 'doth,'" Sean retorts. "Freak!"

Down on Canal Street at what looks like the Gay Rovers (actually it looks like a converted church with that woodwork), Jamie and Sean starting getting the drinks and Jamie asks his friend if anything thing is bothering him as he was silent on the bus into town. Sean notes that they are being watched by a guy who might think they're together. Then Sean lays it all out. He wouldn't mind if people thought they were together because he fancies Jamie. He wants to slow dance with him. Hold his hand on the bus. Go to bed with him.

Thing is, I think Sean was telling the truth here, even if there was an ulterior motive at play.

But before the dreams of a thousand slash fiction writers can be realised, Jamie breaks it to him that he is not into men. Sean says he'll get a sex change, even if there is no guarantee that he'll look like Angelina Jolie. Jamie says Sean is perfect in many ways, but comes in the "wrong packaging," meaning he lacks a vagina, in case you didn't get the subtle reference.

Jamie says that he is in love with the wrong person and Sean finally gets who it is: Frankie. Jamie quickly points out that Frankie is not his mum. Sean says that Jamie wins: he is way freakier than Sean will ever be and walks out of the pub. Jamie follows and begs Sean not to tell anyone. He agrees and they embrace. In a totally nonsexual way.

Poor Sean, he's going to collapse under the weight of all these secrets he has to bear.

Runaway Bride

Bev is trying on some new make up as practice for the wedding. It looks, in Fred's words, panda-like. Michelle suggests that she ease up. Rita and Emily arrive, join Fred, Bev, and Audrey and Bev suggests they pop open a bottle of bubbly to celebrate the fact that her own daughter refuses to come to the wedding after her actions this week life, baby, life!

Bev proceeds to get drunk, as do Rita and Emily, and Audrey seems quiet as though she's contemplating something. Later, she excuses herself to the loo, where she breaks down into sobs. Afterward, she collects herself enough to agree to spend some time with Fred to buy some jewels for the wedding as she won't have much of chance to spend time with him after he's married and moved away.

I Can't Keep Track. Who's Winning Now?

Tracy meets Deirdre in the street, who offers Tracy to come home as Charlie will just keep hurting her. Tracy says that she knows he will because she still loves him and how pathetic is that?

Meanwhile, Charlie unloads his troubles (and, presumably, his trousers) on Maria.

When Charlie comes home, Tracy says she and Amy need to leave and find somewhere neutral to live, which is like fleeing war-torn Lebanon for Syria but that's just me. When she arrives, it seems as though their relationship is over.

Angry Chef Update

SwedishChefSmall

In Which Mr. Glacia Does a Lot of Screaming from the Kitchen
Last night’s episode had Mr. Glacia’s full attention and there were a lot of , ‘What!’ and ‘That guy’s a real bastard’ being shouted from the kitchen where the mushroom soup was being prepared.

I Was Drunk, 0h and a Bit of a Bastard Too.
Charlie makes it back home to the street and drops off Maria but not without telling her how he wants them to be a real couple. He then goes back to Tracey with an arm full o’ flowers which get smashed upside his head as Tracey screams about him cheating on her.

He quickly realizes that she’s talking about Shelly, not Maria and there’s a bit of relief on his face. Then…..a lot of shock at finding out that Shelly’s pregnant. He immediately goes into the ‘She’s lying’ routine, which Tracey shoots down and makes him admit that he did sleep with Shelly. He sits on the steps and makes his admission, ‘I was drunk.’

Tracey then goes into a fit about how he needs to make Shelly have an abortion as she’s not going to have his spawn walking around with Shelly as the mom. He tells her that he really can’t make her have an abortion, but Tracey brings up how he made her have an abortion and all she got out of it was half a pair of red shoes. She says that if he can’t get Shelly to have an abortion, she’ll leave him. (But wouldn’t that free him up to be with Maria?)

Back at the Rovers, Shelly is packing her bags and not sticking around for the wedding. Bev begs Shelly not to punish her for telling Deidre (‘I was drunk.’) by not attending the wedding. Shelly tells Bev that it has nothing to do with her, that she has to leave because it’s no longer safe around Weatherfield because Charlie knows.

Too right! Charlie finds her with suitcase in hand and throws her up against a wall (Mr. Glacia yells at the telly) and demands to know if it’s true. She tells him yes and he tries to bully her into an abortion because he knows that she’s going to try and child support from him for the next 20 years. She tells him that she’d actually pay him to stay out of her life and that the child is hers and has nothing to do with him and that he’ll never see his spawn.

Charlie seems…confused.

He tells Tracey that Shelly refuses to have the abortion, and of course, Tracey loses it completely. After a lot of screaming, Charlie tells not to worry because, ‘that baby is as good as dead.’

At this point I hear crashing in the kitchen as Mr. Glacia is aghast with shock. I take the opportunity to tell him what Bev said the previous day and there is more dropped ladles and butter knifes on the floor.

He tries to go back to his place, but Tracey has locked the door and told him that she’s kicked him out of the house. He reminds her that she can’t kick him out of his own place and she screams, ‘Just watch me!’ and slams the door in his face.

I Save Text Too!
Violet is really losing her mind about Jamie and continues to needle Sean about the situation. At one point when he’s in the bathroom, she picks up his cell phone and checks his messages.

There are a million gagillion from Jamie such as ‘Are you there?’, ‘Want to go for a drink?’ , ‘How about a movie?’, ‘Help! I’m stuck in a closet!’.

Violet freaks out and confronts Sean, who, rightfully so, is pissed that she read his messages. He does explain that the messages aren’t all from one day, but rather that he saves all messages from Jamie because he fancies him.

Violet gets the idea that Sean should make a pass at Jamie to find out whether or not he’s gay or not. Sean reminds Violet that Jamie is one of his straight mates and he can’t just make a pass at him. (Mr. Glacia nods and says that Sean shouldn’t have to risk sacrificing his relationship with Jamie.)

We leave with Sean looking like he might actually go along with this hair-brained scheme.

And Other Things Happened
Rosie and Craig are talking about their lives in the future and all the traveling they’ll do. She plays some kind of geographical trivial pursuit with him and it takes him awhile to get it. Hint: If it aint’ Dutch, it ain’t much.

With all the whispering going around Blanche is convinced that the family is getting ready to ship her off to an old folks home, so she explains the Italian model of geriatric care how the grandparents get to live with the children until the die, consuming as much grappa and calabrese as they can stand.

But at the bar, she realizes that something is amiss between Deidre and Bev…then between Bev and Charlie…then she says, ‘You and Bev daggers drawn. Her and Charlie the same. Tracy acting peculiar. I'm getting warmer, aren't I?"

I love Blanche.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Charlie Becomes Unhinged.

batman

Having already found out about Shelley's pregnancy, Charlie takes action and both Tracey AND Maria discover the real reason for his trip to Birmingham.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Update for Episodes 6388 - 6389 June 18, 2007

Ever notice that Charlie and Tracey live in #6?. As in 666...

Young Love

Craig and Rosie are having a little face time in the love shack discussing their future. Rosie assumes when she goes away to some posh university that Craig will be there right beside her. Craig, clever lad that he is, has already got a pretty good idea of what the future holds for him and Rosie, based on her behaviour after the trip to France and her recent obsession with shopping and texting her mates. Young Harris assures Rosie that they will be sure to see each other on odd weekends and holidays.

Old Love

Rita, Emily, Audrey and Gail natter on at the pub about how they are too old (or in the case of Gail too much of a shrieking harridan) to ever contemplate getting married again.

Confused Love

The strange homoerotic three way continues betwixt Jamie, Sean and Violet. No matter what she does to get a rise out of Jamie, Violet is repeatedly ignored.

No worry my dear, Papa Smurf will be glad to go bikini shopping with you - Frankie can come along too if she wants to.

Violet asks Sean if he is sure that his gaydar is working properly, Sean insists that Jamie is as straight as an arrow. Sean even buttonholes Jo in the pub to inquire about Jamie and his sexual proclivities, based on the brief relationship they had. Jo tells Sean that she isn't that kind of girl, they didn't go out long enough for them to do the horizontal limbo. (mind you Jo seemed quite willing to be a mattress test pilot with the young kilted lad their first night out)

Violet is becoming increasingly unhappy with her state of affairs. Poor dear, she deserves some happiness.

Three Way Love

Tired of being the sweet treat that the boys are fighting over, Frankie decides to end it (whatever it was) with Liam. They go for a quiet drink at the pub but there is too much of an audience, so they go sit on a bench and chat for a while. Frankie kicks the shamrock Lothario into touch.

Liam then slinks back to the factory where he finds Danny working late. Trying to put a good spin on the situation, Liam tells Danny that he ended it with Frankie - for the sake of the business. Danny has a bit of a jab at his new partner, comparing Liam to George Lazenby*, and comparing himself to Sean Connery. Liam thinks perhaps he is more of a Daniel Craig, but Danny thinks Wendy Craig** is closer to the mark.

Later in The Rovers Liam eventually admits that it was more of a mutual break-up, or maybe she actaully ended it with him, something like that.

*George Lazenby was the actor who played James Bond in 'On Her Majesty's Service', but was overshadowed by Sean Connery, who had played the part in the first five Bond films, and would return to reprise the role in later years. Lazenby was rarely seen on the big screen again.

**Wendy Craig is a well known British actress of an earlier era.

Tainted Love

Shel, Bev and Fred are in the back room debating how many one night stands Shel has had lately. Fred, wise old soul, wants to leave well enough alone, I say well enough alone but Bev keeps nagging her daughter about who the father of the baby is. Is it Steve MacDonald? No - it was Charlie Stubbs. Bev sends Fred out of the room for a while so she can have a proper chat with her daughter.

Fred walks out to the bar and sees Charlie. An awkward moment ensues.

Shel and Bev go at it hammer and tong. Bev can't believe that Shel let Charlie do this to her. Shel tells her mom that maybe it was her that did it to Charlie, that she was standing up to him for a change? 'By lying down for him?' asks Bev. Shel tells her mom she knows Charlie was bad for her, that she had to go through therapy because of him, but it was Shel that left Charlie at the altar, she was in control of the situation. Bev compares the situation to 'The Omen'and 'Rosemary's Baby', and in a move sure to get her nominated for mother of the year tells Shel to get drunk tonight and then make an appointment the next day to 'flush that bastard out of your life forever.' Bev is four sheets to the wind by this point but her behaviour is still inexcusable. Shel, understandably upset, runs out the back door. Bev runs after her but is too late, but then bumps into Deirdre in the back alley, who invites Bev in for a chat.

The two old friends open a bottle of wine and before you know it Bev has told Deirdre what she promised not to tell, that Charlie is the father of Shel's baby. This puts Deirdre in an impossible situation, she doesn't want to betray the confidence of an old friend, but she has to think of her daughter first. Bev begs her not to tell Tracey, or at least wait until Shel has left, but Deirdre wants Tracey to hear about it directly, so she will finally realize what sort of a man Chartlie really is.

Bev continues to pester Deirdre the next day, and eventually the two women and Ken meet to talk about the situation. Ken thinks Charlie has a moral right to know about the baby. Some heated discussion ensues. Bev asks if Charlie is going to put on a Spider Man costume and hang off the town hall clock.* The Barlows leave in a bit of a huff. They track down their daughter and tell her the news of Shel and the baby. Harsh words are spoken.

The Barlow women storm into The Rovers to confront the Unwin women. Tracey wants to hear the story directly from Shel, who tries to tell Tracey that it is a lie to break up her and Charlie but Tracey isn't buying it. Bev and Deirdre get stuck in as well - Deirdre making a comment about Charlie and his little swimmers making their way acros the street on their own. (a bit of an unpleasant image) Tracey call Shel an arrogant bitch and tells her to have a hot bath with a bottle of gin**. All hell breaks loose and Tracey tries to attack Shel.

While all this is going on Sean and Violet are on the other side of the door doing nothing to intervene. I guess discretion is the better part of valour. Fred shows up and brings an end to the back room shenanigans.

As she is being dragged out Tracey threatens to kill Shel, who tells Tracey that she might want to save that energy for Charlie one day.

Shel tells her mom - 'a fool with a big mouth who can't hold her drink' - to shut up.

Finally.

Bev, after pummeling herslf in the head and calling herself a stupid, stupid woman, turns to Fred for some consolation. Fred gives her a hug but there is some eye rolling going on at the same time.

Tracey rushes home and chucks Ken out on the street.

Meanwhile Charlie is in Birmingham with young Maria for an evening of naughtiness. While she goes up to the room to freshen up before dinner Charlie calls Tracey to tell her that he has just made it to Leeds for the stag-do, and wonders how things are back on the street. Tracey, looking distraught while sitting in a dark room tells Charlie that all is well, nothing interestng happened at all since he was gone.

*This is a reference to Fathers 4 Justice, a group that uses highly public acts to get their message about father's rights across. After some of it's members hatched a plot to kidnap the son of Tony Blair, the group was disbanded in the UK.

**An old wives tale about a method for a DIY abortion.

REMINDER: This Week's Schedule

I posted this back on June 8th, but just to remind everyone, there is a double episode tonight and no episode on thursdsay.

Mon. 18 June 7:00 PM TWO 1/2 hour episodes.
Tues. 19 June one 1/2 hour episode.
Wed. 20 June 7:00 PM one 1/2 hour episode.
Thurs. 21 June 7:00 PM NO EPISODE
Fri. 22 June 7:00 PM one 1/2 hour episode.

Mon. 25 June 7:00 PM one 1/2 hour episode.
Tues. 26 June 7:00 PM one 1/2 hour episode.
Wed. 27 June 7:00 PM one 1/2 hour episode.
Thurs. 28 June 7:00 PM one 1/2 hour episode.
Fri. 29 June 7:00 PM one 1/2 hour episode.

Youtube Find

Some Party.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Another Country Heard From

Tvor has her own Corrie blog from Nova Scotia called 'DownEast Corrie Blog'.

I've checked it out and am very impressed indeed.

Give it a looksee!

Those Eyes Update


The factory girls are all abuzz about Fiz’s birthday (meaning they’ll have drinks after work for a change) but Sean is barely paying attention. Is Jaime gay? Is he in love with Sean? Sean and Violet continue to be baffled by Jaime’s strange behavior.

Fiz is all set to be disappointed on her birthday. As she opens a card from Kirk, he says, “I know it’s not much. But it’s the thought that counts.”
“Yes it is, Kirk. Let me know when you have one," she replies.
He assures her he has something bigger for her, to be presented after work. When she unwraps a set of fuzzy pink dice from Chesney, her imagination runs amok. Kirkeh’s bought her a car!

Alas, Kirk hasn’t bought Fiz a car, he’s brought her a car. A friend's car, which she can borrow to practice driving. Fiz proceeds to beat him about the head with her new watering can / purse.

Who’s Your Daddy?

Bev’s on a bridal rampage and poor Fred’s kicked out of the pub, and he can take his cigarette’s too! Bev sends him on a mission to take flowers to Audrey. Sample flowers for the wedding, but flowers no less.

Enter Shelley! Looking all fab in her new, short hairdo. Tracy spits venom at her from across the street and while Shelley does pause to engage in a dialogue about broomsticks and where they can be shoved, she seems generally uninterested in Tracy and Charlie.

Bev notices a change in Shelley, saying, “It’s great to see ya like this, luv. Especially with me other bridesmaid on the ‘appy pills.” Too true.

However, queue the strange behavior. First Shelley turns down a drink. Then she asks that Marilyn Monroe’esque bridesmaid’s dress to be taken out a bit, saying the chef at her new pub is too enticing. His food, that is.

Bev obsesses about why her daughter hasn’t even touched her wine. Is it antibiotics, she asks? Shelley says it is. But Bev knows a thing or two and nails her daughter with the truth. Our Shelley’s knocked up!

“It’s still early days, isn’t it?” Shelley says when asked why she’s trying to hide it.
“Who’s the father?” Bev asks, "who's the father?"

Queue credits. Anyone care to guess?

In other news:
  • Rosie goes to Craig’s old hiding place after school. In a rather charming scene, Rosie says she's sick of everyone assuming what they're getting up to. Craig points out that the mattress is still there....
  • Liam masterfully reminds Danny throughout the day that he’s taking Frankie to the movies. They trade barbs in a way that seems kind of sporting to the two of them, but it’s just getting on Frankie’s last nerve.
  • Janice is back from… where the ‘eck did she go, anyway?
  • Betty’s asking questions about Clair and Fred subtly (ha) explains that Claire’s mother is sick and Claire’s at her bedside.
  • Sarah, Audrey, Maria and Tracy discuss how it’s so easy to fall for the worst guy for you. Tracy admits she has a crush on Hannibal Lecter. She likes his eyes. Ew.
  • Charlie and Maria solidify plans for their Birmingham rendezvous. Tracy warns Charlie that if he does something he shouldn’t, she will find out about it. Charlie looks pleased with the challenge.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Friday's Question of the Day...

bob barker

In honour of a great moment in daytime television I have a question for all of youse.

Which Coronation Street character would be the best person to replace Bob Barker on the Price is Right?

You know, someone with the looks, charm and congeniatliy of Bob.

I call Norris.

Corrie Canuck Readers Blow Me Away

This is a first....

I got an email from Chantal who has been reading Corrie Canuck for awhile in Ottawa. Her and her boyfriend, Joel, are both illustrators and she wanted to share with us something Joel drew.

Behold, the wonder that is Danny -

coronation_street[1]

I went to Joel's website and was blown away so I asked if I could share another of his pieces with the Corrie Canuck readers.

restaurant

THEN I went into Chantal's site....
cb2

cb1

So here's the thing....it's Friday, it's a beautiful day, you probably aren't working that hard anyway, so why not treat yourself to a bit of online art gallery viewing?

Grab a cappucino and walk through the world of Joel and Chantal.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Update June 14 - Hoodies Rampage Edition


In Which I Employ Rude Euphemisms for Charlie and Maria's Relationship

After Tracey nearly has a breakdown after experiencing the odd thing known as "parenting," Charlie offers to take Amy into town and give Tracey a break.

This, as he later explains to Maria, is just a ruse to get Tracey in a good mood before he tells her he's going to be out of town around the same time as Maria, who is off to an important meeting of backstreet hair stylists in romantic Birmingham.

Charlie later tells Tracey that he has to go to Leeds for a stag night for a friend he has never mentioned before. He later tells Maria that they will only have one night of passion together but at least they won't have to keep playing "Problem tenant and the handy Landlord." Maria won't have to find reasons to get Charlie over to her flat like: her "tiles" need "grouting" or her "pipes" need "tightening" or that she needs him to bring his "caulking gun" to fill her "cracks."

In Which Jamie Comes Out!

of Eileen's house after crashing there

It's the morning after Jamie and drags himself off Eileen's couch as Sean swears to secrecy their conversation of the night before. Jamie says there is nothing to say and heads home.

He stumbles home and pulls away from Violet's welcoming kiss, claiming dragon breath. Later when Violet meets Sean, he lies a little and tells her she has nothing to fear but she's certain that something happened last night.

At the Rovers, Violet is still trying to get into out of Sean, who finally confesses that Jamie did say that he may have feelings for someone else. Violet interprets this as meaning that Jamie is gay and that person whom he truly loves is ... Jason! Ok, no it's Sean.

Or is it...?

In Which Audrey Finds a Hoodie in Her Apartment

In the Rovers, Audrey is telling Gail about how everyone she knows is either dying or moving away. As she leaves to go home for lunch Gail and Fred agree that something seems to be bothering her.

As she arrives home, she suddenly discovers a hoodie in her apartment, looking for some decent koosh. He is spooked and rushes past her and out the door. The first person she calls is Fred who comes over immediately. Audrey is shaken and doesn't seem keen on spending any more time alone.

The police stop but there is little they can do as nothing was stolen.

Her daughter and granddaughter are surprised to later learn that she never told them that she had a break-in. But really, what would happen? Sarah would make it all about her and Gail would blame it on Richard Hillman.

In which other news is discussed.

Rita and Norris are going to Budapest for their Magyar Misadventure.

My Penchant for the Bad Boys

skykes

I opened up my gmail today and was reading people's comments about Liam - who doesn't seem too damn popular.

I began to wonder what is it that draws me to him, a bit like my affection for Charlie.

Then I noticed on the right hand side of the screen, the following advertisement:

'Learn "Secret Reason" Why You're Attracted To Jerks & Players'

I think I may require a Dr. Phil intervention. (But then again, that's just inviting another jerk into my life.)

Well, thank god for Mr. Glacia, that's all I can say.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Update - June 13 - Ever Fallen in Love with Someone You Shouldn't Have Fallen in Love With?



The New Junior Partner

Liam appears at the factory, carrying a bottle of milk, just as Danny arrives. Mr. Baldwin thinks he's showing up late but as it turns, he just nipped 'round to get a bottle of milk, as he's been at work since half past six.

Later, Danny officially announces to the workers that Liam has been brought on as junior partner at a foolishly low wage, but don't forget that Danny is still boss.

He later makes Liam work through lunch as he pops off to the café but gallantly offers to get him a sandwich, and Fizz tells Danny that Liam absolutely hates mustard (but, but English mustard is so hot and so awesome).

Danny shows up at the café with a big bouquet of flowers, telling Frankie it's their anniversary of the first day she babysat for him. Yeah, that's the ticket. She doesn't buy it but she does take the flowers and Danny takes an order for some sarnies, with slashes of mustard.

Later, after Liam is spitting up his sammiches, Danny orders Hayley to spy on junior as he nips out for two hours. Liam decides he's going to nip out and see what happens. Hayley is not best pleased to be placed in such a precarious power struggle.

Liam goes to see Frankie at the cafe, who cautions him not to pick a fight with Danny. Later, he tells Danny it was thoughtful of him to give Frankie flowers as it makes the place smell lovely whenever he visits her.

The Rovers' Steve Macdonald Era Begins..

..with a banging hangover in the Streetcars office.

"Did we buy a pub last night?" asks Liz. Steve advises that in fact they did and pops the last paracetamol, leaving Liz to crawl over to the Kabin for some, where she is asked to referee the Budapest contest dispute between Rita and Norris. She refuses and demands the drugs.

Jamie Comes Out!

(for another night on the town with Sean!)


Sean and Jamie are planning another boys night out as Violet suddenly looks crestfallen and reminds Jamie that this was her night off and they were supposed to spent it together.

Jamie later pops by the Rovers with flowers for Violet and says he'll cancel it, "if she wants" (nice passive aggression there, Jamie). She says for him to go ahead but be sure to come home tonight as she will seduce him in her 1920's lingerie.

Sean and Jamie pop by Streetcars to get their cab. Steve, their driver, thinks it's odd that Violet is not accompanying them. "Gay man friends with straight man?" he thinks. "Does not compute."

Meanwhile, Violet sits with Frankie drinking cocoa on the sofa with Frankie wondering if Jamie is pulling away from her because she moved in. Frankie says that such a notion is stuff and nonsense and that Jamie is lucky to have her.

Jamie and Sean arrive home, trashed. They decide to go back to Sean's for brandy and a chat. Sean asks Jamie to reveal a secret but Jamie refuses, saying that his life is an open book. Sean then quotes the Buzzcocks, "Ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with?"

Jamie says yes. Sean goes to make coffee to ensure they are awake for this bit of gossip but when he returns, Jamie is passed out asleep. Sean tucks him and says that's one way to avoid the truth.

In Other News

Rita and Norris are still arguing over who gets the Budapest trip. They are now trying to get random neighbours to settle it for them.

Kirk is trying to teach Fizz to drive but she almost runs over Blanche. Fizz laughs it off but Kirk looks concerned. (Not sure I like this - Fizz is an intelligent woman. I'm sure she would have gotten proper classes if she wanted to drive and she certainly wouldn't drive as recklessly as she did.)

Liz rang Bev's bell at closing. This is not a euphemism. Bev was kind of mad about it.

Notice

To my fellow Corrie Canuck Contributors....it's time to get up guys, we're back at work.

wake

Last night’s episode left us all with one burning question.

Does Liam only own one t-shirt?

Beyond ‘78’
Liam spends his whole time trying to convince Danny to let him into the factory and ducking behind sofas when there’s a knock at Frankie’s door.

Frankie and Liam decide to let Danny know about them so that he can have one bad day instead of dragging the pain of finding out half the factory is gone and so is his ex to one deliciously gorgeous raven hair god.

Anyway, Danny finally gives in and tells Liam that he can come into the factory to make coffee and take messages. They go to the pub to celebrate where Liam raises his glass and says, ‘Oh, and I schtumped your wife.’, and the runs like hell out of the Rovers.

Danny takes this surprisingly well in the sense that he doesn’t kick Liam back out on the street and expects him back at work the next day. Of course there’s a lot of chest puffing on both their parts in front of Frankie.

My god, that Frankie has a shit life, doesn’t she?


Greater Manchester Area Centre for Drug Addiction and Barking
Fred and Ashley visit Claire who’s playing a board game with her new fancy man, Cliff. They talk about her condition and discover that she still convinced the baby isn’t hers and that Ashley’s betrayed her.

They try to talk some sense into her, but to no avail. When asked later how her condition is, Fred replies, ‘Barking.’ (And Glacia giggles at the lack o’ tact.’)

Free Drinks, Free Meals and All the Gold Lame Clothing You Could Want
In one of my favorite scenes of the season, Liz and Steve discuss buying the bar. Oh dear readers, it was beautiful. I didn’t even hear what they said, I was too busy just looking at them.

Liz and her breasts in high heels smoking and Steve, opened shirt and what’s left of his hair pompadoured up leaning up against the car, fag in hand.

I could have watched that all night.

They get Fred to agree to sell the pub and Steve brags about how he will now have free drinks, etc AND he gets to live on his own again when Liz moves into the pub. Unfortunately, the bank wants them to make higher monthly payments before they’ll give them the mortgage, so Steve decides to give up his flat and move into the Rovers and once again, live with his mother.

Gee, I can’t help but thinking about Jim in prison when he hears the news. His dream of the McDonalds owning the Rovers finally coming true – except, well, he’s in the can.

Cheers go up all around when the punters hear the news and Norris asks Rita if she remembers when Sir Thomas Moore owned the pub. She tells him to get bent and compares him to Annie Walker (who owned the Rovers when the show began back in 1546) as someone else who thought they were above their station in life.

Fred, btw, was at first reluctant to sell the pub because feels they need to stay in Weatherfield for Ashley and Claire. Bev and Ashley talk him out of it and tell him that they need to get on with their lives, which he agrees.

Audrey, however, has a different p.o.v. on this and is worried that Fred was strong armed into moving at a time when he feels his family needs him.

The Stupid G.D. Pen Storyline
Rita wins a trip to Budapest and somehow Norris feels that she should give him the trip because he ‘understands’ Hungary more than she does and that the trip would be wasted on him.

She then calls him a pinhead, in Hungarian.

(BTW – I’ve put in an email to my friend to find out exactly what it is she called him.)


‘Home Improvements’
Tracey wants Charlie to come to town with her, but he tells her he needs to fix some stuff in Maria’s flat. He then goes over to ‘sort out her tiles’.

We see Maria and Charlie snuggling together and while he has to leave, he promises to come back and ‘tighten her taps’.

Later, Audrey gets notice about a seminar on the tanning product they're selling at the salon and decides to send Maria to Birmingham for the conference.

Maria is delighted that she gets two days in Birmingham and asks Charlie if he wants to join her while she ‘learns about tanning’.

Charlie ‘agrees’.

‘I wonder if he’d be willing to come to Toronto to ‘plaster my walls.’ ‘ ponders Glacia.

In Other News
I want Sean’s ‘Stray Cat’ t-shirt for my birthday.
Jamie continues to ignore Violet.
Rosie gives Craig a ring.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Real Update

Claire gets whacked by a contract put out by Phil's twin grandchildren.

cookie4

aaaaaaaaaaaaaah...okay, I am silly.

Here's the real update brought to you by Glenda (but written by John Dean).

Before I post it, I'd like to add that the Claire story line is WONDERFUL. Both the writing and the acting on her part have been amazing. (Mr. Glacia and I once had to take a young lady who was living us to the h'ospickle for a nervous breakdown, and it was very, very much like what I've saw on Corrie on Sunday.) Kudos all around for a very believable story.

Also, John...how does she get her hair so shiny?

Here's yer update. (Oh, I just added a bit from the previous week to make it all flow.)

Claire’s post-natal depression hits a new low this week when she took Thomas back to th’ospickle, convinced she picked up the wrong baby in the maternity ward. She dumps the baby in the ladies loo and heads home to pick up t’other son Josh. She’d told Ashley she was going to see her dying mum, so Ashley, as you can imagine, got quite a shock when Claire’s mum turned up in the butcher shop as fit as a fiddle except for a twinge in her knee. When Claire returns home, all hell is let loose. Ashley and her mum have a right old go at her, can’t understand what she’s going through and you just feel so very, very sorry for Claire. Julia Haworth who plays Claire has been doing a fantastic job in this role lately and if she doesn’t win best dramatic performance at next years soap awards, I’ll eat my trilby.

And finally this week, Cilla starts selling off all the stuff in their house on eBay to raise cash to pay the bills. Well, that’s the theory anyway but when Yana persuades her mate to splash the cash on fun instead of on food at Freshco, Cilla doesn’t need much tempting. She books a holiday to Ayia Napa with her mate and tells Les she’s leaving him and Chesney home alone with empty cupboards and no food.



September 18, 2006
This weeks' update written by John Dean. Glenda is on holiday.

At last - Sean's birthday! He gets a tie from Hayley which has bras and knickers embroidered on it. Which just seems WRONG on so many levels.

Ashley's trying to persuade the Social Worker that there's something wrong with Clur when DING DONG - it's the DOCTAH! (Not THE Doctor, nemesis of the Peacock family for so many years, but A Doctor, not at all tall). The Doctor claims Claire's problem is "hard to pin down" but it may be post natal depression. Well, DUH!

And Liam (who seems to have a staggeringly comprehensive knowledge of the garment business - taking in stock control, quality assessment and pricing - when his only previous experience has been flogging thongs on a market stall) is pumping Hayley for information about Danny.

Claire and Ashley have a big row on the street. "I'm a trained Nanny!" shouts Claire, just as she pushes "That baby" in front of an oncoming car. Back at home, Claire flushes her anti-depressants down the sink and Ashley realises the problem is beyond his control.

Kelly has responded to Liam's requirement that, for Health and Safety purposes, she has to ditch the sexy outfits. Sally wants to know if the old clothes have been donated to a prostitutes' refuge. Kelly is understandably bitter at people who make people dress up in old clothes so they look like their auntie.

Ashley tricks Claire into going to the hospital for assessment, not realising that the Doctor can commit Claire to a course of in-patient
treatment. Doctor Bannerjee, by the way, turns out to be Mike Baldwin's old solicitor, Frankie. Either Frankie is to play no further part in the show and the actress has moved on (via Casualty or Holby City or something), or there's some really clever "evil twin" sub-plot going on. Claire is,
naturally, desperately upset. "You're punishing me for being such a terrible mother", she claims. So she's a bad mother? John Shaft was a bad mother and everyone liked him.

The Rovers karaoke is in full swing. Michelle "Lego head" Connor is belting out the old stuff. When Deirdre wants to know why Michelle's hair is so shiny, Liz suggests it's because she rubs it with a pork chop. I want to know why it never moves. Is it really one of those plastic Lego pieces that you fit on the head with a little spike? Deirdre, Eileen and Liz have a go at "It's Raining Men", which is a long way from their personal situation. And Jamie and Sean do a very passable Elton and Kiki after threatening to be Donny and Marie. Oh dear ... I feel an implausible story line coming on.

Over at the Baldwin's, Violet's seductive voice wafts down the stairs, enticing Jamie back to bed. Reminiscent of the days when the Lancashire housewife would shout to her husband "Dost want use of me body before I put me corset on?". But Jamie just wants to read the paper.

Fred and Bev return to the Street, I say Fred and Bev ...As a subtle subterfuge they're claiming that Bev has food poisoning. "Never buy a prawn where you can't hear a seagull" opines Fred. But really they're back because of the Claire "One flew over the Cuckoo's Nest" scenario. Ashley's hopes are dashed that Claire will be sent home after an overnight stay. The Doc wants to keep her in for at least a fortnight. And Claire is not a happy camper. Well, actually, she's not any kind of camper what with being locked inside a hospital ward.

Danny returns and calls on Adam. A golden opportunity for Adam to let Danny know what's been going on. But ole Brer Adam, he don't say nuffin, he jest smile ...

So Danny gets a very rude shock when he sets the alarm off going into Underworld and his code doesn't work. He assumes the youthful Liam Gallagher look-alike bounding past him is the man from the alarm company. He's staggered to find it's his new partner. So staggered he does that weird lizard thing with his tongue that signifies thought and puzzlement. Very unsettling. But after a chat to his brief he determines that the fine print allows Liam to have all the statements and reports he likes as well as 40 per cent of the profits, but it nowhere guarantees him access to the factory. So Danny has Hayley escort the lad from the premises and then he changes the locks. And then he offers to buy the Gallagher brothers out - "Name your price, girls!"

Meantime, Steve has "had a look at the books" of the Rovers - which seem to consist of a box file, a couple of manky manila folders and a few dozen invoices in a paper clip - and pronounces himself delighted at the financial robustness and agrees to buy the pub so his Mum can run it.

Storylines you're glad I didn't include ;

Norris and Rita and the free pen

Things Craig can legally do now he's 16

Euphemisms Charlie and Maria are coming up with for sex (Oh, OK,
just the one - "Fixing the loose tiles in the bathroom")

Betty and her Cyril's "fancy dress parties"

Fizz's driving lessons

Liam and Frankie and Danny and Alice (OK, Alice is a fictional
character)

The bloke who looks frighteningly like me playing strip ludo
with Claire in the Psych ward

But I will include the "diagnosis of the week" which came, not from any of the half dozen doctors and nurses we saw dithering around Mrs
Peacock, but in Fred's response to the question "'Ow's Claire"

"Barkin'"

NB - The updates for the next couple of weeks will be delayed. Richard and Janet have discovered that Glenda hides the tunnocks under the bed when she's away and they're too busy picking off the dust bunnies to put pen to paper.

John Dean

Update on Sunday's Episode

We see Claire enter the hospital where she begins to ask the nurse if she could see a doctor.

The the screen went to black for 2hours and 20 minutes and then the credits rolled without sound.

I'm so confused!

Friday, June 08, 2007

Corrie Schedule

Just to suppliment John's posting, here's the episode schedule I got from someone over at livejournal.

Mon. 11 June NO EPISODE
Tues. 12 June 7:00 PM TWO 1/2 hour episodes.
Wed. 13 June 7:00 PM one 1/2 hour episode.
Thurs. 14 June 7:00 PM one 1/2 hour episode.
Fri. 15 June 7:00 PM one 1/2 hour episode.

Mon. 18 June 7:00 PM TWO 1/2 hour episodes.
Tues. 19 June one 1/2 hour episode.
Wed. 20 June 7:00 PM one 1/2 hour episode.
Thurs. 21 June 7:00 PM NO EPISODE
Fri. 22 June 7:00 PM one 1/2 hour episode.

Mon. 25 June 7:00 PM one 1/2 hour episode.
Tues. 26 June 7:00 PM one 1/2 hour episode.
Wed. 27 June 7:00 PM one 1/2 hour episode.
Thurs. 28 June 7:00 PM one 1/2 hour episode.
Fri. 29 June 7:00 PM one 1/2 hour episode.

From this point onward and for the foreseeable future, one 1/2 hour episode will air each weekday evening at 7:00 PM.

Scheduling Update

Corrie is scheduled to return to the evening broadcast starting Tuesday, June 12th. According to this schedule, it will be a double episode. The rest of the week will broadcast one episode per night.

It looks like, regardless of the outcome or number of games played during the playoffs, Corrie was always scheduled to return on that date. And the double episodes during the summer was simply a one-off due to the management lockout of CBC unionised employees. It's a shame that the double episode thing didn't become an annual tradition because it wouldn't be a bad way to gradually catch up with the UK broadcasts.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Corrie Swag on CBC Shop!

Just saw an ad that CBC's Shop is carrying new Corrie swag! Click to shop.

Update

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Can it be tiem now for regualar Corrie tiem? (whatever...i hate those lolcats anyway.)

Okay, so it looks like Walt Disney has won the Stanley Cup and I assume that Corrie will back on during the week starting next week - but don't quote me. I'll have to confer with Snuffleupagus over some noodles at Sweet Lulu's on Queen St. West to make sure.

So, here is the update from last weekend. I made some adjustments to Glenda's notes as the Claire storyline that we've seen isn't as far a long as what she's written.

I'd would also like to add this one point, 'HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLO LIAM!' Glacia sips her martini, takes a drag of her smoke and slowly eyes him up and down with an approving nod and says, 'Very well done indeed.'.

Now, here's our Glenda.

September 11, 2006

Greetings and welcome to another weekly update. This week the update is packing its case, wondering if it’ll fit into last years’ bikini and slapping on the sun cream. Yes, it’s going on its jollies at the end of this week. But fear not, dear readers. For while it’s away, we have a cracking line-up of stand-in, sit-down weekly update writers for you. (If you’re reading this update on www.corrie.net however, the page won’t be updated until early October so be sure you don’t miss an update, it’d be best to subscribe to the Corrieweeks mailing list here and the update will be sent to you by email automatically, without charge and with a big smile). And so, for the next three weeks the updates will be brought to you by jolly John Dean, reckless Richard Whitbread and jaunty Janet Waterhouse. My huge thanks go to all of them, again, and you can find out all you need to know about all the Corrie weekly updaters on this webpage here:

I’ll be seeing you again when I return from my hols all bronzed and lovely, but in the meantime, without any further ado, here we go with this weeks’ Coronation Street update.

Liz McDonald is officially my favourite Corrie character, well at the moment, anyway. And when I say ‘favourite’ I do of course mean ‘second favourite to Spider’. But anyway, this week she was in her glory in the back room of the pub. Fag in hand, clad in leopard print, cleavage all over the place, holding court and dishing advice, falling out with her newest barmaid Michelle and keeping on the good side of Betty, just in case. She’s a worthy successor to the best barmaid of all time, Bet Lynch, but with her own style, a rocky past and big bumps in front of her. When an estate agent with a face like a wet Thursday morning comes round to value the pub, Liz is upset and angry that Bev and Fred hadn’t mentioned they were thinking of selling. Steve’s all for his mum getting a loan and buying the place herself, a plan on which she’s thinking.

David’s still bunking off school and tells his mum he’s being bullied by the big lads who taunt him with: “What do you call someone who can’t tell the difference between Blind Date and Crimewatch? David Platt’s mum!”. It’s all lies of course and Gail confides to Audrey that she’s not sure David’s telling the truth any more. Oh, wake up and smell the playstation, Gail. She drags David to the Headmaster where he picks three names at random and tells the Head they’re the bullies who are picking on him before he saunters home to watch daytime TV and style his hair like Oddbod Junior from Carry on Screaming.

Liam and Paul Connor, new brothers of the parish, stitch up Adam Barlow, knicker-boy and general numbskull, good and proper. They convince him his share of the factory is worth half of what he thinks it is and then buy it from him at the knock down price. Danny’s not going to be best pleased when he returns to find himself being partners in a business with Weatherfield’s answer to the Mitchell brothers. I quite like them though, I have to admit. Liam’s a bit thick and looks like a Thunderbird puppet (as does sister Michelle the barmaid) while Paul is older and wiser with a proper Coronation Street face and doesn’t appear to be remote controlled.

Violet moves in with Jamie at Frankie’s place and although he makes all the right noises about living with his girlfriend, you can tell that He’s Just Not That Into Her. On Violet’s first night in her new home, Jamie goes out on the beer with Sean on Canal Street. Now I’m not one to gossip, as you know, but if I was Violet, I’d be a bit worried.

It’s Sean’s 30th birthday this coming Friday night and a karaoke night has been planned for the Rovers. Liz fully intends to wipe the floor with Michelle on the karaoke machine, knocking her socks off with I Will Survive, no doubt, while Michelle (Kym Marsh) could perform a medly of her hit.

Claire’s told Ashley she was going to see her dying mum, so Ashley, as you can imagine, got quite a shock when Claire’s mum turned up in the butcher shop as fit as a fiddle except for a twinge in her knee.

Julia Haworth who plays Claire has been doing a fantastic job in this role lately and if she doesn’t win best dramatic performance at next years soap awards, I’ll eat my trilby.

And finally this week, Cilla starts selling off all the stuff in their house on eBay to raise cash to pay the bills. Well, that’s the theory anyway but when Yana persuades her mate to splash the cash on fun instead of on food at Freshco, Cilla doesn’t need much tempting. She books a holiday to Ayia Napa with her mate and tells Les she’s leaving him and Chesney home alone with empty cupboards and no food.

See you in three weeks time!

Glenda


Inserted notes from Glacia:
Audrey is at the butcher's at the time and the three of them go back to the Peacock/Elliot home to track down Claire. Audrey leaves a message for Claire and is about to hand the phone over to Claire's mom (whatthehellishername? Let's just all her 'Bernice'), when Ashley yells out, 'No don't - she won't come home if she knows her mom's here.'. I'm sure the cellphone didn't pick that up at all.

Bernice ends up giving Ashley a bit of a hard time that he let Claire take the baby knowing that she had already abandoned him a few times before.

Claire, meanwhile, did this weird thing with the baby where she compared him to pictures from before, then bundled him up in the pram for a walk. The last we've seen of her and the baby is her marching along the street telling baby leroy that she knows what babies needs and that it's nothing personal what she's going to do.

gulp.

Note to Claire, when the investigation starts, remember these 5 little words.

'The dingo ate my baby!'

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Update Dealio

Okay...here's the update from two sundays ago.

I'll post up last sunday's update soon, but I just have to watch the omnibus myself first. I don't want to post any spoilers...so let me do my watching and then I'll post for ye.

Aaaaaaaaaaand now here's Glenda!

September 4, 2006

Bienvenue and welcome to another weekly update. This week the update is really enjoying its favourite soap, it’s moving along at a cracking pace at the minute and hopes you’ll forgive it if it forgets things that happened this week. And so, without any further ado, here we go with this weeks’ Coronation Street update.

When Fiz wakes up in the country cottage with Monica slobbering on the pillow next to her, she knows it’s not the romantic holiday she was hoping for with Kirkeh. Back on the Street she tells Kirk it’s over. Through tears on Cilla’s sofa, Fiz explains she wants romance, affection, adoration and love and all Kirk can offer her is one of his chips. This was a wonderful scene, Fiz and Kirk were in tears and I was in bits watching it. “Bye-bye Kirkeh” Fiz says as she leaves him alone and heads back to her flat. But Kirk’s determined not to be beaten – this was the man who once stole Blanche Hunt’s girdle, remember? He meets Fiz after work with a bunch of freesias and sings her their special song but even The Real Slim Shady won’t melt Fiz’s heart this time – so it’s time to get tough. He tells her he’s written a love poem to woo her back and it seems to do the trick. It goes something like this: “I would give everything I own, give up my life, my heart, my home. I would give everything I own, just to have you back again”. Sound familiar? Rita recognises it straight away when Fiz repeats it in the Rovers. “I used to sing that in the clubs” Rita sighed. “And then segue into River Deep, Mountain High”. Kirk’s dumped again when Fiz finds out he didn’t write the poem after all but ripped the lyrics off Cilla’s Bread CD. “It’s not easy being thick” he says in his defence.

Charlie sleeps over at Maria’s place and gets Jason to lie to Tracy for cover his whereabouts and thereabouts. (I love that phrase - but I know, I really should stop using it. It probably pops up in every third weekly update. Carry on Screaming’s to blame.)

New barmaid Michelle is settling in at the Rovers and has been at the heart of one of the big stories this week. To give Kym Marsh/Ryder her due, she’s doing alright but then how could she not with the sparkling dialogue she’s been given this week, such as this – Vernon: “’Ow about you and me having a bit of a ding-dong?”. Michelle: “There’ll be no ding and there’ll definitely be no dong”. Having words like that scripted for you is a dream. Even I could come over all brassy saying words like that. Anyway, Liz warns Steve away from Michelle: “She’s a bonkers slapper who’ll rip yer innards out” but that doesn’t seem to have any effect on Steve who lusts after Michelle good and proper. Her 14 year old son Ryan turned up this week along with her tall, dark and handsome (if you like that sort of thing) brother Liam, who gets a crush on Frankie until he thinks she’s a transsexual after some confused gossip about him fancying the woman who works in Roy’s caff. Vernon’s on the prowl, lusting after Michelle and she’s fed up with him so decides to set him up. After hours in the Rovers, he’s upstairs in his leopard skin pants wanting Michelle to join him in Liz’s bed while she’s out on a bender with Big Brenda, the alky. (I think I know her). Michelle tells Vernon to come down to the back room and they’ll do, you know, it, on the sofa. As Vernon prances into the room in his scanties, Betty and Sean just about choke on their cocoa. Liz wants to know what’s been going on while she was on her night out and when nobody tells her she assumes Michelle’s been fiddling with her fella and sacks her. It’s left to Eileen, Sean and Betty go put Liz right. She storms upstairs and chucks out Vernon’s drum kit and worldly goods from the bedroom window onto the cobbles below. How many times have we seen that done on the Street? And it’s still wonderful! I do hope it’s not the last we see of Vernon, he’s been great fun to watch. Liz grudgingly reinstates Michelle back behind the bar – so that’s five of them now working in the world’s smallest pub. Michelle’s just about to ask Steve out on a date but she overhears him telling his mum that he needs a woman with a 14 year old kid like he needs a hole in his head. Liz wonders when her feckless son became a magnet for high-maintenance, highly strung strumpets and bitches. Well, you know what they say – men always go for women who remind them of their mum.

There’s an odious huff in the Kabin when Norris finds out that Rita’s entered a Tyler’s Toffee promotion to win a weekend in Budapest. As partners in the business, he feels affronted and denied his own chance of filling in the form to win a trip to the city that’s the birthplace of one of his personal heroes, László Bíró.

This week the schools reopened and kids everywhere donned blazers and frowns as they headed back to the classroom. All except David Pratt who’s bunking off already although he tells Gail he’s been and she believes every word. Little Josh Peacock even started school but Claire forgot to pick him up and left baby Thomas with Hayley as she went doolally and fed coins into a fruit machine in town. When she finally turns up on the cobbles, Claire slaps Hayley across the face in the caff when she finds a bruise on Thomas’ arm and thinks Hayley has caused it. The girl’s going into meltdown, lying about her mother being ill, slapping and snapping at her neighbours and friends and all Ashley can ask is why they don’t have fun together anymore? Argh! Slap him one from me, Claire, and then get yourself to your doctor for help.

And chez Battersby-Brown’s, the bills are mounting and there’s no money to be found so Chesney sells his toys on eBay and gives £15 to Cilla and Les which they blow in the Rovers on booze and nuts. But when Cilla realises there’s money to be made from selling old tat online, she empties the cupboards and starts taking pics on Fiz’s mobile phone, determined to get rich by selling all their stuff.

And that’s just about that for this week.

Glenda