Monday, April 30, 2007

This Weekend's Update

On a personal note - I really, really, REALLY hope Adam gets the lot. I know Danny is a favorite of a lot, but I am not always loving this guy.

From our Glenda.


Hello, come in, sit down, have a cuppa, put your feet up and welcome to another weekly update. This week the update has a crush on the voice of the pre-plastic surgery Tom Jones. What’s new pussycat? Well, without any further ado, let’s crack on and find out so here we go-oh-oh-oh-woah with this weeks’ Coronation Street update.

There’s a whiff of wodge at the Barlow’s as Adam and Ken take Mike’s original will to the solicitors, which means Tracy turns up at the family home hoping to peck at a piece of pecuniary pie. Adam’s solicitor reckons he’s got a good case while Danny’s reckons he doesn’t. Danny’s a worried man and offers Adam a 10% share in the factory, which Adam refuses. Adam reports Danny to the cops and he’s taken in for questioning and told he could be banged up for seven years in the big house for fraud if it turns out he knew about Mike’s original will, which of course he did. The police make noises about rummaging around in his bank account which would mean they’d find the fifty grand he paid Leanne off with, so he’s got a lot to think on. Back at the Barlow’s, Danny ups his offer to Adam to 25% of the factory if he drops all the charges and stops the out of court action. Adam holds firm. Ken holds his nerve and they push for more, which they finally get in the shape of 40% - but I’m not sure what of – the factory? The villa in Spain? Does Adam get 40% of ladies pants and Danny keep control of the purse-strings to the g-strings? Is it 40% of a load of old pants?

Gail and Eileen are united in despair at the upcoming wedding of Jason and Sarah. The two mums sit in the Rovers in a bad mood with arms crossed and hackles raised when their kids tell them they’ve arranged their wedding and Audrey’s put a deposit down on a flat for them. Gail’s new hair-do makes her look like Camilla Parker-Bowles, and this, dear reader, is A Very Bad Thing. Not all the residents are so against the summer wedding, however. Bev offers to do free food at the reception in the Rovers, Roy offers to make a free wedding cake, Rita throws in a free packet of wedding invites and she gives Sarah something old, borrowed and blue for her day. No, it’s not one of Rita’s varicose veins, it’s a butterfly brooch. It’s big, it’s sparkly and looks the sort of thing best pinned onto a cardi. Very Rita.

Clare decorates the house, finds the answer to world peace and a cure for veruccas in her spare time. I made two of those things up but you get the idea. She won’t sit still for a minute and bond with the baby and nobody except 10 million viewers seem to have noticed this. Fred and Ashley, two men who know their way around pork bellies and marbled fat, but haven’t a clue what’s going on Clare who pretends all’s well in the post-natal department.

Rosie returns from France and Craig’s overjoyed to see her until she bores him rigid with tales of her mates and what they all did on their holidays. It gets worse when she shows him her photos: “…. and here’s another one of Laura outside the cafĂ©” and starts demanding latte-dah coffees from Roy’s Rolls instead of the usual black with milk that Roy does so well. Rosie’s not best pleased to find out that Craig’s sleeping rough in Diggory’s cake shop but it’s quite romantic really, when you think about it, he’s only staying there to be with Rosie after all.

Meanwhile, at the Websters house with all the attention back on Rosie, younger sister Sophie gets into trouble when Sally catches her with cigarettes, Cameron and Chesney. Poor Chesney gets the blame for leading Sophie astray to the ashtray and Sally bans him from their house, but he was the one who was against them smoking in the first place. And when a fiver disappears from Sally’s house, Chesney gets the blame again but it’s Sophie who’s taken it to buy fags with Cameron. Best bit of all this was when Cilla and Les stormed into Sally’s house demanding she apologise to their Chesney, which she does. But Les has to yank Cilla out of there when she wants to video Sally’s apology on her mobile phone.

And that’s just about that for this week - I now write short and snazzy Corrie episode reviews at http://www.corrieblog.tv

Glenda

Friday, April 27, 2007

Take It Off, Richard Fleeshman

Richard Fleeshman (our Craig Harris) may appear starkers in the play Equus.



Yeah, baby! The full monty!


Richard’s in talks to take over the role from Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe, who is leaving to pursue other projects.

More on the story from the Manchester Evening News.



I hope he’ll be treating us to some Hard Grinding this evening.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Corrie Update from Sunday



While the Rover's Roundtable STILL get some much needed R&R...here's yer update from Flaming Nora.

Hello and a hearty welcome to another weekly update. This week the update is feeling pretty good, thank you very much for asking. It's galloping around the garden picking fresh tomatoes and herbs and trying to defy the hosepipe ban. And so, without any further ado, here we go with this week's Coronation Street weekly update.

Danny dumped Leanne this week after telling her he wanted to get back with Frankie, who wants nowt to do with her cheating, lying, good for nothing ex-husband. Leanne's not the sort of girl to take things lying down. No, hang on, she is. What I mean is, she's a Battersby and she ain't going to go quiet. Danny pays her off with fifty grand now and the promise of another fifty grand if she keeps schtum about Mike's original will. Now then, where there's a will, there's a way and Leanne leaves a copy of Mike's original will with Adam Barlow before she legs it off the street in the back of a taxi with a mascara streaked face, kissing tara to the second instalment of her retirement plan from Danny. Adam can't believe his luck when he discovers that Mike's will leaving everything to him supercedes the one that left everything to Danny. Ken advises caution and solicitors but Adam wastes no time rubbing Danny's nose in his own pile of mess. Danny's straight on the phone to Leanne in Espana and tells her if he should ever see her again in his life, he'll kill her. So as you can imagine, Danny's not best pleased.

Over at Number 6, things go bump in the night. And in the middle of the day and at tea-time too. Is it the ghost of Tommy Harris or Craig sleeping rough and hanging around his old haunt? When Charlie finds Craig in the house he slings him out in a bad mood. Sally and Kev tempt Craig to their house for bed and beans but he declines and sleeps rough on a park bench instead. He wants to wait for Rosie to return from France and refuses to go back to Bournemouth with granddad Keith who comes up in his car and a state of anxiety looking for his grandson. Dev takes Craig on to work in the shop for a few hours each week and Roy helps Craig out with free food in the caff.

Talking of which, Sophie, Rosie and Cameron are hanging round the street like a bad smell now that school's broken up and they've got nothing better to do. "Get out and get some fresh air!" yells Sally to the three of them when she finds them watching adult horror flicks on DVD in her front room. Chesney's not happy that Sophie and his mate Cameron are getting on so well together and leaving him out.

Since the birth of baby Peacock, Clare's thrown herself into cleaning, cooking, helping Bev organise her wedding, decorating the house, anything to stop her thinking about oncoming post-natal depression (yes, I know I called it ante-natal in last week's update, whoops!). She's been so busy they haven't even thought of a name for lickle baby Peacock although I suspect the first name of Drew was easily dismissed. Clare's even talking about going back to work although Ashley and Fred are much against the idea, I say, put yer feet up and have a rest for Gawd's sake, girl, you've just given birth.

Charlie spies Maria reading the flats to rent section of The Gazette. He offers her his old flat for £200 a month, which Maria gladly accepts and she moves in with Kirkeh and David Platt carrying boxes for her. Charlie's got designs on Maria and they're not healthy ones, oh no missus. We hear on the tabloid grapevine that he's going to do to Maria what he did to Shelley in the past. Yup, it's time to lock yourself in the bedroom in naff jim-jams for three months, Maria!

Sarah spends all week ignoring Jason and tells him to stop stalking her by txt msg. But by the end of the week when she's at work in the salon, Jason gets down on one knee (getting it covered in hairs from the salon floor, shurely?) declares his undying love for little Ms Platt and asks her to marry him. She's gobsmacked and doesn't seem to notice that mid-haircut on her brother David's mad mane, she's left the scissors hovering dangerously close to his face. David was a scream in this scene, which makes a change as he's usually a horror. Sarah accepts Jason's proposal and the two of them are over the moon which is more than can be said for Gail and Eileen with the two mothers hear the news.

And that's just about that for this week.

Glenda


BTW - does anyone else think that the speculation about whether on not Leanne is knocked-up HILARIOUS? So THAT'S why she's been carrying around a teatowel with 'An Irish Blessing' printed on it!

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Another Obscure Football Reference on The Street


When Royston and Hayley come by to see the new baby, part of their conversation involves the name of the baby, which is yet (if ever) to be determined. Roy suggests Charlton might be a fine choice. Ashley asks if he means Athletic, and Roy responds no, he meant Heston the actor. In case anyone missed the reference, Ashley is referring to a south London fooball club known as Charlton Athletic. They have been in the FA since 1905, in the Premier League since 1998, but are in danger of being relegated to a lower division at the end of the season as they are third from the bottom of the table at present. They play their games at a lovely little ground known as The Valley, which is quite near the Millenium Dome. The fans are known as the Addicks, a derivative of haddock, which apparently has something to do with the club's proximity to the Thames River and that many of their supporters were fisherman in the early days of the club.

Not that I am a fan of English football or anything.

Peter Barlow Doffs His Crocs




I Hate Crocs reports that Chris Gascoyne (our Peter Barlow) has seen the light and binned his Crocs.

Crocs-haters, take note: I’ve also reported on this topic (A Pox on Crocs!) over on my blog Infomaniac.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Find The Corrie Star

For some fun here's a bbc radio play starring one of our current Corrie stars.

I was going to tell you who it was starring, but thought I'd let you guess - just for shits and giggles.

You don't have to listen that far into the program to hear, but be warned the accent is different.

I'll post the answer tommorow.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Weekly Update Courtesy of Our Voice in the UK

beehive

While the Rovers Roundtable sits on their asses cuddling babies, getting arrested, doing lounge acts (hmmm...Wasn't that Jack Layton's recent campaign for PM?) and whatever the hell it is that Working is doing these days....we're prevailing on the updates posted on Corrienet by Flaming Nora.

I haven't seen the episodes yet, but I think this captures what happened on Sunday without any spoilers.

Greetings and welcome to another weekly update. This week the update is slathered in sun cream and wearing flip flops. And so, without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update. - Glenda

It’s Ashley’s day in family court and he agrees to Matt Ramsden having access to Josh. “He can have two hours every mumf” yells Ashley to the judge while going red in the face and all angry-like. When Matt turns up for his allocated spot with Josh, Clare goes into labour and the ambulance arrives after the new baby boy does. Which means that Matt Ramsden the too-tall doctor put the baby into the first Mrs Peacock and pulled the baby out of the second. Ashley thanks Matt for his help but can’t help feeling frustrated and angry by the doctor who roared onto the street in his SUV and parked it behind Maxine’s seat (which is perhaps how they all got into this trouble in the first place).

As “Tainted Love” plays in the background at the Rovers, Danny and Frankie share a moment of tenderness on what would have been their 20th wedding anniversary. Frankie’s back from Spain now and losing patience with Nathan who walks in and then storms out when he finds Danny at home with Frankie poring over her photos of son Warren in Spain.

And Diggory the fat baker this week shut up shop and prepared to move on.

Baby Peacock receives his share of visitors in th’ospickle, all 5lb 6ozs of him as Clare’s mum drops by and Fred’s over the moon with his new grandson, I say, he’s fair pleased. He calls into the Rovers to wet the baby’s head and gets the whiskies in and the cigars out. Mother and baby are sent home for rest, recuperation and bonding but none of that happens as Clare scrubs the house from top to bottom, hosts a lavish tea-party for Roy and Hayley and tries to becomes super-mum in an attempt to ward off oncoming ante-natal depression.

Liz pays an enormous sum to replace Vernon’s stolen Northern Soul record. She sneaks it back into his record bag as a surprise for him, but she finds the original record in the bag that he said had been nicked. What’s he up to then, this Vernon fella? Without his van and his drums, he’s lying around the flat feeling sorry for himself so Liz begs Steve to give him a job driving at Streetcars – something which neither Vernon nor Steve want.

Maria’s fella gets her an interview at a posh hair salon in town and when she doesn’t get the job he’s sarcastic to her and tells her she’s no better than she ought to be. He walks out of the Rovers and so she dumps him by txt msg and then rebounds to Tyrone, telling him she still loves him and wishes they’d never split up. Tyrone has a quiet word with his ex and tells her he’s happy with Molly and doesn’t want to go back to being Maria’s Plan B.

Meanwhile down on the quays, Danny reveals to Leanne his Plan F for Frankie. He wants his old missus back and dumps Leanne quick sharp, thinking he can woo Frankie. Frankie dumps Nathan who hits Danny and knocks him out cold on the cobbles but Danny sees this as a good thing - Frankie’s single status is more reason for him to make his move on her. But Leanne won’t go quietly, she’s a Battersby after all so Danny offers her five thousand pounds to get lost. When she tells him she’s got Mike’s original will ferreted away, she demands one hundred thousand pounds which nervous Danny pays up - half of it now, promising t’other half in 12 months if she keeps her trap shut. Danny forgets once again that she’s the daughter of a Battersby where ‘keep trap’ and ‘shut’ aren’t part of their world.

It’s the school summer holidays which means Chesney and Sophie are knocking around looking for trouble. Chesney rings his mate Cameron who turns up on the cobbles and turns Sophie’s head. She develops a little crush on Chesney’s mate but when questioned by Sally, Sophie just gives her mum one of those looks that 11 year old girls do, oh so well, like duh! In a wonderful scene, Sally gives Sophie her mobile phone in case emergency should strike as she wanders the cobbles. Sophie answers the call when the phone rings later, she turns away from Cameron and Chesney and tells her mum “Spaghetti Hoops”, wonderful stuff.

The Peacock sprog has sprung

And sadly, we can no longer use this bit of art from way back:

Monday, April 16, 2007

Gene Chandler



One of the b-plots of this week's Corrie revolves around a missing, rare Gene Chandler single.

Best known for his hit "Duke of Earl," Chandler was among a wave of American R&B singers embraced by people in the North of England. This formed the basis of the subculture that would be come to be known as "Northern Soul," of which Lloyd and Vernon count themselves as aficionados. They came about the nickname because, rather than buying up the latest R&B styles, Northerners always preferred the same music from the same period.

The subculture, of course, still persists and true fans spend much of their time, and money, collecting rare records, making it one of music's most expensive hobby. So, if a van is stolen in which Vern is supposedly keeping an extremely rare record, it's kind of a big deal, normally.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

The Funny Side of Corrie Part 2



As requested.



And the last little bit.

The Funny Side of Corrie



Fun little YouTube find showcasing the best comedy bits from Corrie over the past forty-odd years.

In Which Glacia No Longer Cares About Corrie Content

Oh wait...there is a revival in 'sing-talk'.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Sparetime Update Part 3



I've been dabbling in my singing career.

Sparetime Update Part Deux

jacqueline%20in%20britain

Glacia's also keeping herself busy.

Spare Time Update - Part 1

Papa Smurf is making the best of a bad situation by interacting with the outside world rather than cloistering himself with his cat to watch Coronation Street every night. Here is a photo of the smurfman having a grand old time with his newest neighbour Sebby, son of good friends Marlene and Ollie.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Your Daily Fix

TELL me Amber isn't the new Bet Lynch.

From TinyVi.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Corrie Withdrawal


Anyone else have the shakes, yet? I'm starting to feel it. I may have to pay a visit to the BitTorrent gods....

The GirlAlive British Food Experience

Black Pudding - Category: Not quite sure - side dish? meat? sausage? Fun link.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

The New and Improved Coronation Street Drinking Game

With Coronation Street sent to CBC's Sunday morning ghetto to make room for the NHL playoffs (and after the Habs went down last night, really, is there any point in watching anymore?), we're all going to have to entertain ourselves somehow.

I find the best way to do that is to get drunk. I have taken the addictive thrill of watching Corrie and combined it with the addictive properties of alcohol. Throw some hot wings and samosas in there, and you got yourself a party.

As we all know, the show does hit on certain beats in the script and plot lines that often satisfy long-term viewers of the show. The object of this drinking game is to watch for those "beats" and take a sip of your drink when they occur.

PART ONE: WORDS AND PHRASES

Take one sip when the following is said:
  • "Hiya!"
  • "Eh up"
  • "Luv"
  • "Ta"
  • "Pint"
  • "Cheers"
  • "Nice one"
  • "Nowt"
  • "Owt"
  • "Tart"
  • "Cow"
  • "Bitch"
  • "Bitter and twisted"
  • "Cuppa"
  • "Hot pot"
  • Local pronunciations such as:
  • "Murr" for "Mare"
  • "Clurr" for "Claire"
  • "Thurr" for "There"
  • "Swurr" for "Swear"
  • "...n' all."
  • "innit"
  • "at it"
  • "Thee and me"
  • "Scotch and threat"
  • "hospickle"
  • "oy!"
  • "chippy"
  • "you what?"

PART TWO: ACTIONS

Take one sip when the following happens:
  • A pint is pulled
  • Someone walks into the Rovers
  • Booze is consumed during the lunch hour
  • Tracy sneers
  • Ken removes his glasses
  • Norris eavesdrops
  • Emily is offended
  • Someone knocks on a door, but does not enter the house
  • A car drives down the cobbles
  • The factory girls are slacking off
  • Eileen rolls her eyes
  • Gail blinks, repeatedly
  • Bethany stares into space
  • Fred Elliot repeats, I say, REPEATS HIMSELF!


PART THREE: RARE AND WONDERFUL THINGS

Consume the rest of your drink if:
  • someone leaves the cobbles behind for a "new life" somewhere else
  • someone says the magic words, "It'll all end in tears."
  • someone has sex
  • someone gets married
  • someone is pregnant
  • someone gives birth
  • someone lies
  • someone cries
  • someone dies
  • someone throws a punch
  • someone mentions Canada



Cheers, everyone!

Angry Peacock Update

TRACY'S BRILLIANT SCHEME

Vernon has a hangover. Liz helpfully offers to pull the van around so they can go to the market together. Steve helpfully taps the high hat on the drum kit. Vernon cringes.

Tracy still can’t see why they’re selling the house in favour of staying in the little flat, but Charlie is not so easily moved. “You want to live here, fine,” says Charlie, “Put in an offer.”

Meanwhile, Ken and Dierdre make a big deal about wanting to talk to Tracy about something very important. At first you think it’s going to get good, like maybe they’re actually going to disown her. But they’re just worried about what they witnessed in the pub. They want to know what’s going on in her life.

Tracy dismisses them. She and Charlie are fine, “especially now that fat cow is gone,” referring to Shelley. She knows that Charlie loves her. Ken and Dierdre offer her their usual support, though Deirdre clearly doesn’t trust the whole thing.

However, at the pub, she has a slight change of heart. Even though Tracy is hard to live with, Charlie did let her move in and Amy, too. He must want them there. Otherwise he would have thrown them out by now.

Ken is unconvinced. He thinks Charlie just likes making people miserable. They ask Violet what really happened between Charlie and Shelley but all she’ll say is that there is only one person who can make Shelley as upset as she was.

Tracy tries to get Steve on her side. He doesn’t want his daughter growing up in a poky little flat, right? When Steve says he is surprised she and Charlie are still on, what with the whole Shelley thing, it sparks an idea for Tracy. “I’m gonna tell Charlie that I don’t believe a word of what he’s saying about him and Shelley and what’s more, I never will until he lets us move into that house! Brilliant!”

Um, history shows Tracy’s no match for Charlie in the scheming department. Will this be the time she emerges triumphant?

YOU PARKED IT WHERE?

Fred wants to take Bev out for dinner to cheer her up now that Shelley’s gone so he asks Liz to take Bev’s shift at the pub. She accepts.
“I shall be forever in your debt,” Fred says sincerely.
“Now don’t overdo it.”
“I’m often told that,” he says.

During Liz’s shift, Vernon pops into the pub and asks her where exactly she parked the van. As close to the front door as possible, she replies. He says it’s not there.
“Are you sure you’ve sobered up?” she asks.

He goes out to look again but his van really is gone. So are all his records. Liz may or may not have remembered to lock it and now everything is lost, a fact that she bemoans out on the street where the van used to be.

Y’know, I’ve heard a rumor that this Vernon character sticks around. I thought he was irritating at first, but after this episode I kind of like him.

Frankie continues to have a short fuse with Nathan. She wants to revisit his paint choices in the bedroom and asks him 'round at lunch to talk about it. Instead she finds him having lunch at the Rovers’. He says he just wanted to relax and think about nothing. Frankie is not happy.

BABIES HAVING BABIES

Ashley throws yet another whiny fit. He doesn’t want Matt Ramsden in his house. Fred reminds him that Joshua can hear everything and Ashley replies that he’s going to hear it anyway. Claire rightfully drags his petulant, childish arse into the garden, where he shushes her in front of Charlie and Jason because it’s okay if you scream in front of your kid but not in front of your neighbours.

At the pub, Diggory gives the last of his fresh loaves to Fred. Fred gives him a drink on the house, then departs with Bev, meaning he’s about to miss all of the excitement....

Ramsden is a bit late so naturally Ashley is throwing another red-faced fit, ready to pull the plug on the whole thing. He doesn’t know whether to stay in the house for the visit or not. When the bell finally rings, he hollers that he's not having Matt in his house.

But when Matt agrees to let Ashley explain things to Josh on his own terms, Ashley lets him in. Ashley introduces him as Matt to little Josh, who runs off to fetch his favourite book.

As Matt reads to Joshua, Claire and Ashley look on from the back garden. Claire says she’s proud of Ashley for doing the right thing by giving in. She knows how hard it was for him. Ashley even jokes that maybe if Josh keeps him reading for the next two hours, Matt won’t bother coming ever again.

Claire isn’t feeling very well. She decides to lie down. But just as Matt’s leaving, she descends from her room saying her waters have broken. Matt asks about contractions and it’s clear she’s already quite far along. Matt offers to have a look, which sends Ashley over the top. He refuses to let Matt help and calls for an ambulance.

Claire progresses rapidly, feeling like she has to push, and Matt asks Ashley to put his personal feelings aside and remember that he is a doctor first and foremost. But asking Ashley to put his feelings aside is like asking him to stop breathing. Claire begs Ashley to let Matt help. “Please!” she gasps desperately.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Valerie Barlow's Electrocution 1971

CORONATION STREET 1971


Oops, I bloody did it again....

Curses and blazes, I deleted the bloody Friday episode off of my PVR. So I'm going to tape the Sunday episodes and get the update on the site by tomorrow aft / evening.

Sorry all! Oh, you're all high on Easter chocolate anyway.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Update - April 4, 2007 - "A Hippopotamus with Split Ends Just Invited Us to Her Leaving Do."

Poor Jacqueline is sick in bed so let's give her time to rest:

Previously ... on Coronation Street!

  • Claire is close to spawning.
  • Ashley agrees to let Dr. Matt Ramsden see Joshua for two hours every month.
  • Ashley now has to explain to Joshua that, as Claire is his "extra Mummy," Dr. Matt Ramsden is his "extra Daddy." Joshua asks his father, "So, are we like that family in 'Big Love' now?"
  • Shelley tells Charlie that she intends to inform Tracy that they had sex. Charlie says he'll deny it, knowing that she'll never believe her.
  • Shelley goes and tells Tracy anyway that, in the most diplomatic terms possible, they went "at it." Tracy doesn't believe her but then is grossed out at the possibility that it might be true so she slaps Shelley, just in case it is.
  • Tracy tells Charlie and, of course, he denies it.
  • Janice is going to go live in Leanne's old flat. What exactly is the vacancy rate in Weatherfield?
  • Liz is the new landlady at the Rovers.
  • Frankie's back from Spain. Doesn't like the Changing Rooms action on her bedroom and just isn't that into Nathan right now.
  • Joanne tells Blanche she thought she was 90 years old.
And now the Wednesday Show

So that's what the Ladies Room Looks Like


Tracy has taken up smoking. Charlie spots her and asks what's wrong. She says she's stressed but he reminds her not to believe anything Shelley says as they both know she's crazy. This does not placate Tracy as she yells to two passing blokes in the street, "Keep this man away from your wives! He'll have them! Even if they're minging!"

Charlie loses control and throws her up against a wall and tells her to calm herself. This does not escape the attention of Claire who asks if Tracy is ok, to which she responds with "What are you looking at four eyes?" You tell her, Tracy. Stupid near-sighted people.

In the pub, Bev is sad about Shelley's impending departure and compares it to the death of her daughter. Shelley shows her a phone and adds that while it may not reach Heaven, it will reach the pub in Darbyshire Derbyshire.

Later, Shelley runs into Tracy and invites her to the leaving do.

At said do, the party is in full-swing and Shelley wishes she could bring everyone to her new pub. Tracy and Charlie come in (Tracy, tarted up to the nines, Charlie, in the same kit he was wearing to work) and she makes a show of swallowing his face.

Charlie later tells Shelley that she shouldn't have told Tracy. She tells him that Tracy had a right to know what he's like. He counters that she knew what he is like and yet, she came back for a little more fill of Charlie. Shelley tells him that he makes her sick as she heads to the bathroom.

This does not go unnoticed by Bev who follows her into the bathroom. She asks her if she and Charlie did it. Shelley denies it but says they just came back for one drink (Yeah, a tall drink of Charlie, more like). He tried it on with her. She lies and tells Bev that she told Tracy that they did it just so she would know what kind of man he is.

This conversation does not go unnoticed by Tracy who was in a stall the entire time having a piddle taking a dump doing a few lines of blow, powdering her nose, overhearing the whole thing.
Back in the Rovers, Bev gets Shelley to make a speech. Shelley begins to say that she hates saying goodbyes.

"I don't, especially when it's you," Tracy interupts.

"Do you mind Tracy?" Shelley says

"Yes I do mind, and you know what I especially mind? The lies. Your twisted little lies. This silly bitch decided to fire one final shot across the bows before she left by making out that she slept with my Charlie. She came and told me about it, didn't you? It was quite an award-winning performance. But what did I just hear you telling your mum in the toilet Shelley? That you made it up didn't you, to try and split us up."

Ken and Deirdre are, once again, embarrassed and try to pull Tracy away. Tracy finishes by saying Shelley needs locking up in a psychiatric ward.

Later outside, Shelley's cab has arrived and she prepares to leave. Violet asks why she didn't tell her mum the truth. Shelley says it would have killed her. She hugs everyone goodbye and gets in her black cab to leave.

As the cab pulls away, Shelley gives a last look at the street and starts saying, "Goodbye Korner Kabin. Goodbye cobbles. Goodbye cornershop. Goodbye Porpoise Spit."

She sees Charlie, "Goodbye Charlie." And off she goes to her new life in another town.

Shelley, you were a classic Corrie woman and we'll miss you. I just wish the writers didn't make you crazy for a year.

Goodbye, Shelley.


Really, This Should Be Old Hat at the Barlows' By Now


Joanne tip-toes down the stairs wearing nothing but her blouse. She tries to sneak into the dining room to retrieve her clothes and blunders, mid-breakfast, into the Council of the Elder Barlows. Ken and Deirdre try to make her feel comfortable (and really, after Roy Cropper stumbled down those stairs, Joanne is a return to normalcy.) but Blanche is having none of it. While Joanne claims she just stayed over and nothing happened, Blanche wonders if Joanne's clothes somehow just fell off. She also notes that none of her underwear has "Hot Stuff" written on it. She also wonders if her synthetic fabric clothing doesn't cause a rash.

After she leaves, Ken is livid with Blanche. He says Joanne seems like a perfectly nice girl. Blanche counters that she just doesn't want Adam hanging about with that sort.

"What sort?" Deirdre asks. Pretty? Young? Nice?

"Common," she replies.

In Other News

A pork roast triggered a trip to the hospital for Claire, but it was a false alarm.

It was twenty years ago today that Danny and Frankie got married. Danny more or less tells her again that he'd drop Leanne in a flash if they got back together. This causes more friction between her and Nathan.

Liz wears something inappropriate to her first day on the job as the new Rovers landlady.

Hayley's in a goofy mood.

Glacia Buellar's Day Off

sickie

Okay - I'm sick.

Will get the past due updates up as fast as possible.

Meanwhile, if everyone can just say the rosary for me.....

My Cat Sharky


This is my little kitty cat demanding a piece of cheese.

Monday, April 02, 2007

Update for Epiosde # 6333 April 2, 2007

I did my best to find a picture of a rat eating some pizza in a tribute to Charlie Stubbs but this rather cutish shot will have to do instead.

Final Delivery

Diggory, Molly and Ty are doing their level best to make a go of the bakery with their newest scheme for late night pizza. In spite of the boundless enthusiasm of the younger two of the triumvirate there is not a lot of pizza being sold. The phone rings and an order for 10 pizzas comes in. Is this the beginning of something big? Sadly it appears to be a hoax, when Ty went to deliver the order he found a slimming club with the doors locked. Ty wonders why a slimming club would order pizza. Diggory guesses that it was a pernicious prank perpetrated by one of the other pizza places in the neighbourhood. Molly tries to put a good face on things but Diggory tells her that the game is up, he has been struggling for months without much success. Businesses come and go, and sometimes you have to know to stop fighting and accept the inevitable.

Charlie meanders in at this point freshly frolicked and famished from his fornicating in The Rovers and orders a pizza. Diggory, ever the master baker, tells Charlie he will make him the best pizza he has ever had, for the last customer the bakery will ever have.

I have quite enjoyed the recent incarnation of Diggory, the philosophical and introspective baker. When he first showed up on the street I found his character to be rather distasteful and over the top, but I like where the writers have taken him in recent epiosodes.

Daddy Can You Hear Me?

Sean continues apace in his manic pursuit of his biological father. He has Adam and Joanne ringing every Paul Jones from the list they have compiled, in spite of the fact that it is nearly midnight. Of course this might explain some of the less than enthusiastic responses they have been receiving. It's almost like an episode of 'Prime Suspect*', except this is for real. Blanche interrupts their endeavours, complaining that it is like she is living in a telephone exchange. Adam tries to explain what they are doing, to which his his grandmother replies 'you're daft in the head'. That pretty much sums it up I think.

Sean wanders around the neighbourhood for a while, before he returns home. Eileen, newly back from London, discovers Sean lurking in the sitting room and asks him what is wrong. They have a lovely heart to heart chat. Sean tells Eileen about his dream family, an older brother, a younger sister, a dog and a hamster - and his biological father of course. Eileen tells her boarder that he should be happy about his circumstances, he has two families - his mother - and Eileen considers him to be her son as well. Sean gets a bit teary eyed at this but is forced to use his sleeve to wipe his nose**. Eileen points out that both of her sons never knew their father and look how they turned out - well maybe not the best example after all.

* A British police drama starring Oscar winner Helen Mirren.
** Tired of seeing his troops wipe their noses on the sleeves of their shiny new uniforms, Napoleon had buttons put on the sleeves in an effort to wipe out (no pun intended) this nasty habit. To this day jackets and coats still have buttons on their sleeves that serve no discernible purpose.

A Little Tipsy

Jason and Sarah are sharing some pizza in al fresco, surrounded by romantic odours from the back alley and the tip. Jason wonders if Sarah thinks of Scooter whenever she sees a rubbish tip. She admits that once in a while she does think of Scooter, but that it is only natural. She asks Jason if he ever thinks about Violet. Builder boy tries to avoid answering the question. Sarah insists it is alright if he does, after all he does see her every day. Like a moth to the flame Jason is drawn into answering that he does think about Violet on occasion, and Sarah pounces on him like my cat attacks a piece of cheese. However, she is only winding him up. Sarah has developed a sense of humour somewhere along the way. They decide to get married as soon as possible so they can sleep together every night - or have pizza every night. Something like that.

Last Regrets

Shel and Charlie are in The Rovers after hours on their own, having a final drink together. The evil one is on his best behaviour - or worst behaviour, depending on your perspective. Charlie compliments Shel, admiring how strong and confident she is these days, just like when they first met. He wonders if he can 'pull' one more pint behind the bar, after all it might be his last chance to do that. Shel agrees and we the viewers are treated to a strange Roman Polanskish directing moment, as Charlie pulls his pint in a strange orgasmophallic fashion. This of course leads to some snogging which of course leads to a little horizontal limbo on the pub table. (remind me to never eat off that particular table)

As they get dressed Charlie explains his motivations for shagging Shel one last time, a contest to see how long it takes to seduce a woman, that sort of thing. He gives Shel a 3 out of 10 on the passion meter for her performance that evening. Shel realizes what a mistake she has made and does her level best to put a brave face on things. Charlie knows he has got the best of her - so far at least.

Bev comes down later that night and finds Shel wiping down the bar, doing her tribute to Lady Macbeth - out, out damned spot. Mother inquires if daughter is alright - Shel says she is, but is obviously upset about something.

Steve and Tracey return from the hospital. Amy is fine and her parents are being civil to each other for a change. Tracey is surprised to find Charlie isn't home yet, and when he does return she tries to confront him about where he has been. Because of his natural sliminess, Charlie again manages to slip out of a sticky wicket. He tells Tracey that he felt shoved out of the way at the restaurant when she left with Steve for the hospital, and how dreadful it was to be stuck with Shel for the rest of the evening. Suitably manipulated, Tracey slyly asks Charlie if he is 'tired' and flops onto her back like the seasoned mattress test pilot that she is.

OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG

Lori in B.C. just alerted me to this.

The Corrie Panto from 2005.

I suggest just quitting your job for the day and watching.









Your Weekly Updates

rrr

I've had a discussion with my fellow contributors - a.k.a The Rovers Return Roundtable - about what to do with the updates for the next few weeks during the play offs.

As you many of you know, during the 'playoffs' (Oshawa junior league curling, that is) CBC will only be showing Corrie during the sunday omnibus. So instead of us all trying to scamble and figure out who's bit is who's (that's what she said)...we're going to avail on the updates of that lovely lady overseas Nora. I'll be posting her archived weekly updates to keep us Canucks up to date.

In addition, after the playoffs are through, I'm going to be sharing my Thursday slot updates with Papasmurf and Shatnerian- so you can look forward to more Papa and Shatner goodness.

FINALLY, remember that there will be TWO episodes of Corrie tonight and no Corrie on Thursday. Papa will be posting the update for the first half right after. As for my portion, I will try to get it up as soon as possible. (that's what he said) Forgive me dearhearts, I have a french exam tommorow.

dp