Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Brace Yourselves


The summary that Rogers provides for tonight's episode:

Gail becomes depressed.

oy.

Whipped Update

Before I do anything, let me get my favorite quote out of the way.

Blanche: 'It must be a penance thing, like how catholics whip themselves.'

Rita: 'Catholics don't whip themselves.'

Glacia: 'Actually, Rita, you're wrong. Personally, I love a good whipping now and then.'



And On To Cleaner Subjects - Like Princess Di.


Vera's at home feeling blue. Even though she doesn't want to go back to the cafe, she feels that shouldn't anyway because she is past her prime.

She busies herself by making Jack clean and dust her Di figurine and he tries to cheer her up. He ends up bringing in a 'Bo peep' figure - but I can't figure why. Did I miss something? Did he break one or is he just buying her one to cheer her up?

Roy and Haley are busy cleaning up the cafe, trying to get it in shape for the new inspection. Upset over an article in the gazette about the cafe closing, Roy bemoans the fact that they're going to lose all the food they have due to the restaurant closing. Haley says that they look at someone in worse condition. She suggests that make up a bunch of sandwiches and take them to the shelter. Roy thinks this is a wonderful idea and is glad he found such a wonderful soul mate.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm - I'm predicting trouble here. If the restaurant isn't legally allowed to serve food to paying customers, I'm kind of thinking that the same rules would apply to serving food for the homeless. If the food is a risk - it's going to be a risk to everyone.

Oh Gayle, Just DIE Will You!
Okay, we don't get treated to Gayle's mopey face all over the screen, but her spirit infects most of the episode.

Audrey is walking around bothered by all the interest in Gayle's well being and snaps at a few people. To make matters worse, Norris is talking to Rita about the cards and how Gayle must be buying them to send to herself and how it's a middle age woman's perogative to draw attention to herself even in a negative light.

Meanwhile, out on the street, Audrey is suddenly pulled, PULLED towards the Kabin. The irresistible attraction of Platt gossip renders her helpless and she is forced through the door the MINUTE Norris is in full chitter-chatter mode.

She is more than pissed and blames Rita too, although later in the Rovers, Audrey apologizes saying she knows Rita had nothing to do with the gossip.

Rebbecca of Pyschobrook Farm
Becky apologizes profusely for 'accidentally' ruining Kelly's shirt and offers to buy her a new one. Kelly tells her it's okay and not to bother replacing it.

Meanwhile Llyod and Kelly are getting excited to have the flat to themselves again but it's then that Kelly realizes that there's no way Becky's going to be able to get the deposit for a flat together. Kelly pawns the watch in order to get 200 pounds to give to Becky.

No need to worry Kelly, Becky's come up with a clever fundraising scheme.

Let's see:

Fizz's wallet goes missing.
Blanche's wallet goes missing - with 8 pounds and a lottery ticket!

And just in case we don't make the connection, we see Becky back at the flat, looking at Fizz's id while fondling Blanche's lotto ticket.

In Other News
Craig has decided to work with Kevin and learn car mechanics as a trade. Sally thinks he's wasting his abilities on being a grease monkey and should go to uni instead. QUELLE SUPRISE!

Claire thinks Fred should move out of the house to make way for the new baby. Wait, who does this house belong to? I thought it was Fred's. Maybe not, maybe it's Ashley's from when he was married to Stinky Magoo...I mean, Maxine.

Roy apologized to Norris who is being a jerk. Norris says that he's surprised that someone so fastidious as Roy would let the place go to hell like that. Roy asks that if Norris felt that he was always so careful about the cleanliness of the caf, why did he call environmental health?

Blanche is bugging Shelly to find the thief who took her wallet at the Rovers. Shelly gives Blanche the 8 pounds plus the cost of the wallet just to get her to shut up and go back to her soo-doo-koo. Blanche wants to know about the lotto ticket. Shelly jumps over the bar and smothers Blanche to death with an old Boddington's tea towel.

Now for something completely different...


I know this has nothing to do with Coronation Street but I could not resist posting what has to be the most endearing picture in the history of the world. No harm bringing a smile or two into our messed up world.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Spanish Football

A little more information for those who might be curious about obscure Spanish footballing references. In spite of having what is likely the best domestic league in all of Europe Spain has never won the World Cup. Real Madrid and Barcelona FC have been two of the most dominant clubs in different European competitions, but that success has never been translated into victory on the international stage. Every time the World Cup comes around the pundits say that on paper, Spain looks like they might win it this time, but they never get around to living up to the expectations placed on them by their fans and the press.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Update for Episode # 6288 January 29, 2007

The Spanish side that Lloyd fancies will win the 2006 World Cup.

Sleepless Nights

Gail wanders down the street in a daze. She tries to to go into the Cafe but the door is locked. She turns away and almost steps into the path of an oncoming Sreetcars cab, no doubt being driven by Richard Hillman - or at least someone channeling his spirit. Jack sees Gail stumbling around and asks if she is alright but gets no reply. She shuffles off.

The post arrives and Gail nervously looks through the letters that have arrived, but nothing from her ex-husband today.

When Jack runs into Audrey later he expresses his concern over Gail's condition, which prompts Audrey to stop in at Number 8. After pummeling the door for some time - in the middle of the day - Gail, who is in a particularily bitchy mood, eventually opens the door. It turns that Gail was in bed trying to sleep, since she hadn't got a wink at all the previous night. Mother and daughter then snipe at each other for a while about the relative merits of sleeping pills. In the end Gail tells Audrey if she wants some coffee she can help herself but she is going back to bed.

Three's Company

Lloyd, Kelly and Becky are sat in The Rovers having a drink and discussing the upcoming World Cup. Becky asks Lloyd who he thinks will win the tournament. he thinks that Spain will make a run of it - it might be a 'Rafalution'* this year. Becky thinks they should have a World Cup party at their place. Lloyd thinks this might be a good idea. Kelly hints that her and Lloyd might want some time alone, but Becky misses the true meaning of what Kelly is trying to say. When the third wheel has left for work Kelly tells him that having a World Cup is actually a bad idea - and they really need to get rid of Becky.

At the end of the day when the three roomies meet up Kelly tells the freeloader that she needs to start looking for a place of her own. Lloyd agrees. Becky takes the news quite well, at least until she gets on the bus and breaks into tears.

Back at the flat we see Becky (the nutter) destroying Kelly's purple shirt with an iron. No doubt this will all end badly.

* Rafa Benitez is the Spanish manager for Liverpool, who has had a great deal of success using Spanish players in his side, including a dramatic victory over Inter Milan in the Champions League final in Istanbul a few years back. Lloyd, I think is supposed to be from Liverpool, so he would likely be a supporter.

The Scene of the Crime

Craig and Rosie are hanging around in the street when Kev asks his daughter if she can help him for a few minutes, till Tyrone gets back. Rosie gets Craig to fill in for her while she goes to do 'homework.' Craig puts on some coveralls and steps into the garage where his father was killed by his sister - maybe for the first time since it happened. Kev is quite sensitive to the moment, and tells Craig that he doesn't have to help out, that he is free to leave if he wants to. Craig seems to handling the situation well though, remembering how much he loved hanging around the garage, and how it was what he wanted to do when he grew up. The two do a little work and then Craig leaves. I think there is a nice bond forming between these two.

The Soft Pillock

Norris keeps ringing Rita to come up from The Kabin to help him in his time of need. She tells him that she can't keep closing the store, the customers are being neglected. Norris assures her that they will be compensated for any losses they may incur because of his injuries. Rita still objects to the idea of closing shop just to make tea for Norris. Well, this time it isn't for tea, Norris has to go to the lav - and would Rita mind helping him on and off the loo? Thankfully we are spared any details of what may have followed and we next see Norris being carried down to the steps by Craig and Kev so Rita can wheel him across the street to The Rovers too assuage his loneliness.

Of course anytime you want to avoid someone on Coronation Street - DO NOT GO TO THE ROVERS! Naturally Norris runs into Jack and Frankie, who decide they should do some grovelling and give him some flowers (which Frankie just happened to have in her possession) to prevent Roy from getting his pants sued off. They had assumed, after seeing Norris in a wheelchair, that he was horribly and perhaps permanently injured. However, when they discover that he has only sprained his wrist and ankle, they are justifiably annoyed with him. Frankie takes the flowers back, so she can give them to Vera, who really deserves them.

Norris, as is his wont, behaves with as little dignity and humanity as can be expected from a very small, insecure person.

Retirement Party

Jamie and Frankie are working hard to get Roy's Rolls back in top shape before the return of the Croppers. At long last Jamie finds the butty that was stuffed in the rad by young miss Webster. Hopefully the stink will clear up soon. Vera pops in to see how they are doing. While she is there the phone rings - it's Roy calling from the gucci coffee shop where he stopped with Hayley whilst on their trip. He wants to find out how things are going back at the cafe. Roy and Vera have a difficult time communicating though, due to the espresso machine blasting away in the background at his end.

Vera tells him that the cafe has been closed due to serious environmental health problems. Roy hears Vera tell him that the cafe is closed because she has serious mental health problems.

Roy and Hayley, compassionate souls that they are rush back to see if Vera is alright. They stop in on the Duckworths as soon as they are back, flowers in hand. They are somewhat chagrined when they discover that Vera isn't suffering from any (overtly obvious) mental health problems, and it was actaully ineptitude and apathy that caused the problems at The Cafe. A heated discussion ensues about whether Vera will be retiring or sacked. In the end Vera decides to retire, throws Hayley and Roy out, and they can take their flaming flowers with them.

The Friday Double Whammy Update


Jack begs Frankie to help Vera in the Caf, but Frankie’s too busy moving Nathan into her house. Jack tells Vera that Frankie won't come, which sends her into a mood. Clearly overwhelmed, Vera snaps at Becky for being snarky and threatens to bar the next complainer. A strange smell still lingers over the place.

Lloyd admits to the boys at the office that Becky might be starting to grate on him a bit. It gets worse when Becky shows up at the Rovers with brochures of the holiday that she thinks she, Lloyd and Kelly should take together. Later, she gives Lloyd a rather intense massage, oblivious to Kelly’s glare.

David and Gail share a mother / son moment over a pizza. For once, they aren’t screaming at each other and David actually seems concerned about her welfare. She assures him she’s all right, but later we see her popping the pills again.

Danny sees Nathan moving in with Frankie. Actually, what he sees is that Nathan has Frankie slung over his shoulder and is carrying her over the threshold, shrieking and laughing. Danny’s expression is melancholic to say the least. At the pub, he tells Leanne that he’s not going to pretend he’s thrilled that his marriage is over.

Norris warns Archie to be clear with Rita about the way things really are, that Archie just wants a friendship. Archie promises to straighten things out as soon as he can find her. He finds her at the pub, where the icy chill between her and Audrey is palpable. Archie says that while flattered, he’s not into that sort of thing anymore and besides, they’ve been friends for too long to let this sort of thing happen between them. The situation dissolves into companionable laughter. I swear, if it weren’t for the likes of Archie and Sean, the street would be a dismal place indeed.

Meanwhile, at the Caf, Vera has disappeared entirely and Jack only bothers to get off his arse when the customers start complaining. Vera appears from the back and chastises him for taking so long to notice she wasn’t even there. Jack is tossed an apron for his sins. But he doesn’t last long – when things get hairy, he drops his broom and steps out for some air, leaving the pile of rubbish on the floor. Enter Norris, who slips on it and is knocked out cold.

In the next scene, Norris is conscious and giving Rita instructions about his will as he is taken away on a stretcher, clearly on death’s door (not really).

Part Deux

The next day, Jack tells Frankie that Vera won’t be coming into the cafe. She’s too traumatized. Frankie hopes Norris was blowing it all out of proportion, but Jamie informs them that Norris was held overnight in the hospital. Frankie looks just sick. It was her fault Vera was left on her own and Norris isn’t the type to let this go. Frankie assures Jack she’ll deal with it.

Lloyd walks in on Becky trying on a shirt. “Isn’t it Kelly’s?” He asks.
“Oh, is that a problem? I’ll take it off,” she says and starts to disrobe then and there. Lloyd protests and tells her it’s okay with him if it’s okay with Kelly.
“I’m glad you like it,” Becky says in a way that isn’t entirely innocent.

Turns out it’s not okay with Kelly, who says she should have asked first. Becky says they’re like sisters, what’s mine is yours and all that. Er, they ain’t sisters if Becky got off that easily. I grew up with five sisters. I kicked my one sister out of a car once just for ‘borrowing’ a spritz of my perfume (what? I slowed down the car first). She had to walk to school. Later, my dad screamed at me in front of the teacher I had a crush on. That’s what being a sister is all about.

But I digress. At Roy’s, Frankie asks Jamie to buy flowers for Norris, as she sprays the air and Lloyd’s ‘full English, no mushrooms’ with air freshner. Word gets around the street that Norris is seriously injured.
“It wouldn’t surprise me if he ends up with a Polish hip,” Blanche says.
“Is that like housemaid’s knee?” Kelly asks.
Diggory’s sorry for Roy, but happy to provide the factory with their morning cakes.

Meanwhile, Lloyd tells Steve about Becky’s exploits, joking that few can resist his naked self. Kelly overhears and begs to differ. She tells him they need to have a serious talk. Later at the pub, she tells him that she’s having trouble with Becky. She lives with her, she works with her, and she’s sick of the sight of her. She wants to get rid of her. But she’s not brave enough to kick her out just yet.

Rosie asks if she can have Craig over but Sally honestly doesn’t have anything to serve. Sally still wonders if inviting him over for tea isn’t sort of condoning things. Kevin thinks they should just wait and see what happens.

Adam, a.k.a “beer monster”, rises by the crack of 9 AM’ish. Deirdre and Ken think he’s taking advantage, partying all night and sleeping all day. They make plans to meet at Roy’s, while Adam goes back to bed. Later, Ken tries to talk to Adam about getting a job and Dierdre stops him in the street to inquire about his plans for the day. At the Rover’s, Adam complains to Jaime and Violet that they’re always on his back.

Frankie’s off to deliver the flowers to Norris in hopes that she can catch him before he phones his solicitors. However, when she sees him being unloaded from a taxi into a wheelchair, Blanche clues her in that flowers aren’t exactly going to cut it. Sure enough, Norris called the Environmental Health Inspector from his hospital bed.

Emily tries to get Norris to consider how this could affect Roy, but Norris isn’t having any of it. “Would you rather I sat here stoically, conforming to the stereotype, just struggling on, never complaining?”
“Well, I know that’s not you, Norris,” Emily replies soberly.

Oblivious to the state of their own Café, Roy and Hayley enjoy a latte at a one of those coffee chains, presumably a stop enroute back home. Roy bemoans the impersonal touch of these kinds of places with their pretentious beverages and surly service. “Vera’s not above a surly look,” Hayley points out. They both worry that they’ve left Vera and Frankie on their own too long.

Sure enough, back at the homestead, Jaime tells Frankie he’s seen mice. Frankie feels guilty that she left Vera on her own for so long - Vera was clearly overwhelmed and the Caf is in a poor state. Frankie makes a plan to close up early and scrub the shop from top to bottom before Roy gets back. Unfortunately, the Health Inspector shows up. He threatens to shut them down permanently unless they can get it back up to standards in time for a follow up inspection.

The End.

Fight Club Update - Thursday


The First Rule of Corrie is You Don't Talk About Corrie
Danny's looking kind of rough going into the factory and the girls are giving him a bit of a hard time. He lets them get in their giggles and coos about the fight with Adam before he tells them to get back to work.

Meanwhile...over at the Barlow's, Ken and Deidre hear on the street that Adam has gotten into a fight. Ken compares the Baldwin boys to Cain and Abel and Deidre thinks that's some new reality show. (Okay, that was over the top. Deidre ain't that stupid.)

Blanch is wondering why Tyler's - I mean Adam's expensive new jacket has blood all over it. Enter surly teen with a nice piece of crumpet in tow. (Her name is Ellie). Ken tells young master Baldwin that they need to have a talk and when Adam does the 'Whatever' thang, Ken takes him to task about it.

The family sits down for a chinwag and Ken tries to impart to him his own experiences fighting a Baldwin and suggest that Adam focuses on getting his own life together. And Deidre makes a very smart suggestion that Adam go and see if Penny will give him his job back.

I DEFINATELY feel like that would be a good idea seeing as Adam maybe what Penny has left of Mike and therefore really want to help him out.

Over at the pub, Sean says something about 'Ooo 6 foot naught, looks of a catlogue model and the constitution of an ox.' and I got a start because I thought for a second I had been written into the script. Then I realized he was talking about Adam. sigh.

Anyway, Sean tries to reconnect with Adam, but Adam tells him thanks but he's not a touchy feely kind of guy.

Where Can I Get a Roommate Like That?
Okay, so Becky is cleaning and picking up for Kelly and Llyod and Glacia wonders why everytime someone moves in with us, they never offer to help out.

Lloyd loves it, but Kelly not so much and tells Becky to stop doing all the work and just be the guest.

I have a bad feeling that Kelly will be eating those words.

PATHETIC!
Frankie and Danny have more quibbles about the divorce settlement, specfiically how he told the solicitor that Nathan is living with her. She calls Danny pathetic saying that he's only lashing out because she won't reconcile with him. He says that's all nonsense, but no one is believing that.

As Frankie storms out of the factory she tells Leanne that she feels sorry for her. She says that Danny is still in love with her and when Leanne argues that Danny's with her now, Frankie replies, yeah but for how long.

Leanne confronts Danny about playing second fiddle to Frankie and Danny gives some excuse that if he was still in love with Frankie he'd give her all the money. He makes a few freudian slips about the money and good life being 'his' and not 'ours' (as in Danny and Leanne) and Leanne starts to worry.

She goes over to cafe to lash out at Frankie, but I think we can all see this is a running scared technique.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand she still has the Spanish will. Methinks that eventually Leanne will become Adam's new best friend.

Frankie, fed up with all the nonsense from the divorce decides to enjoy herself in the loving arms of Nathan and asks him to move in with her.

Nathan, Nathan, Nathan....anyone else beside John and I put off by his 'I'm a man who knows what he wants' comment and general behaviour way back during their dinner date at the restaurant?

Favorite Quote
'I'm no stranger to rubber gloves.' says Norris, offering to help Rita clean the pigeon poop off the Kabin windon.

Glacia goes into a weird nightmare dream trance where Fight Club is recasted with Norris replacing Brad Pitt in the 'glove' scene. She falls off the couch.

Anyway, gossip, gossip, gossip and Emily, Blanche and Norris talk about how friendly Rita and Archie are getting. Apparantly they ate an entire party pack of Twigletts together!

(Oh the times Mr. Glacia and I have indulged in twigletts....)

The Archie and Rita cart is however overturned when Rita catches wind that Audrey had dumped Keef. Worried that Audrey is on the prey for Archie, Rita stomps off when Archie says hello to her on the street.

Archie, of course, wants to know what the HELL is going on.

It's coming!

So sorry to be so late with the Friday update - it shall be posted later today.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Worst Dressed?

Is this not the worst dressed person on the street?
That trench coat is horrendous - is he a sex offender or just homeless?
And what's with that hair?

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Remove the homeless clothing and look what we get...
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Hmmm, not quite so icky anymore.

And what are your votes for worst dressed on the street?

Two Times the Fun


Two episodes of Coronation Street tonight!

Good Times at the Auld Spot!

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Some hae meat and canna eat,
and some wad eat that want it,
but we hae meat and we can eat,
and sae the Lord be thankit.

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Burns Night at the Auld Spot ROCKED!!!!

Corrie Canucks Monica, Rebecca, Lisa, Glacia, Matt, Trevor and Mr. Glacia were all in attendance.

Here's the haggis ceremony. Unfortunately, it was too dark for the video - you can only see MacGuy when someone takes a pic - which was kind of weird when he's stabbing the haggis. However, the audio is there to enjoy.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Tis' A Haggis


The pinnacle of Scottish cuisine.

Happy Robbie Burns Day

Be sure to drink to a toast to the Bard tonight - the Scots Bard that is - as January 25 is the anniversary of his birth in the year 1759. Some of his more famous work includes Auld Lang Syne and A Red, Red Rose. Jacqueline has a special affinity for A Tippling Ballad while John can relate to A Henpecked Country Squire. If you can find some, be sure to have a taste of haggis today. Failing that, feel free to indulge in theother Scottish national dish - deep fried Mars bars.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Corrie Cars From Afar

Remember when we had the contest to see which Corrie Canuck would respond from furthest afar? Well, Heather in New Zealand was our winner.

Heather's the one in the blue hat and pink shirt.

Ooh, I'm joshing...those are her grandchildren Sam (in pink) and Ben.

Yesterday, after all the Corrie car talk, Heather sent us this pic of her family in this 1917 Buick that her hubby restored.



So thanks Heather for de-lurking and because of that you will be receiving a lovely gift all the way from Paris freakin' France.

Johnny, tell her what she's won.




Yes, purchased at Souveniers Du Monde across the street from Notre Dame catheredral, this 3.5" replica of La Tour d'Eiffel will bring you many hours of joy and memories as it sits at top your computer while you read Corrie Canuck or on your telly as you watch Coronation Street.

From Les Battersby to Mike Baldwin, everyone loves une petite Tour d'Eiffel, non?

NEW CONTEST:
From now until....let's say Valentines day....we'll hold another international de-lurking day. If you've been reading Corrie Canuck from afar but have been too shy to speak up, now's your chance.

The person the farthest from me (in Toronto) who delurks by Feb 14 will win a fabulous prize from me.

All you need to do is say something in our comments section like, 'Hi, I'm Bradley from Uganda!' and you might win. I encourage everyone to jump in no matter how close they are, you never know, Oshawa might win this one.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

A World O' Facts

Just to clear up some issues:

The Baldwin Dynasty
If Mike was king, this is how it would play out. Adam is the youngest of the three Baldwin boys, Mark the middle child and Danny the oldest. HOWEVER, Adam is the only legitimate son as Mike never married Danny or Mark's mothers.

Personally, I think the whole thing should have been split down the middle between Danny and Adam because Mark screwed himself out of his inheritance (literally) by running off with Mike's wife.

30 Jackies Agree
For those of you who need a score card, we have:

Jacqueline - Toronto chick aka Glacia
Jacquie - Windsor chick and knitter
Jackie - Alberta chick and mommy to be. Also, at 250, she is the OLDEST Jackie on Corrie Canuck.

If any other Jackies would like to start contributing the conversation, you'll have to come up with an original spelling of your name - like 'Sade'.

Next Week - we start on the Robs.

Mavis
Someone asked how old Mavis was in the clip from Tiny Vi. Her birthday is given as either 1937 or 1938. Either way, she's in her mid 30's.

Cars on Coronation Street


Speaking of tightfisted Yorkshireman Keith, he drives a vintage Ford Capri - which were built from 1969-1986 in delightful Dagenham in East London.

I believe the odd little white car in the left of the picture is a Hillman.

Cars on Coronation Street


Since Pamer was asking - the abortion of a car that Adam drives is the Lotus Elise, first released in 1996. It retails for 27,995 pounds sterling new, but Mike bought it used for Adam so who knows how much was paid for it. Although ugly as sin it apparently is 'the best handling production car in the world' and was voted the #5 coolest car by Automobile Magazine.

Cars on Coronation Street


For anyone who is curious about the flash new ride that Archie is squiring Rita around the countryside in, it is a Volvo C70, which sells for a measly 26,225 pounds sterling in the UK. There must be some good money to be had in the death business.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Update for Episode 6283 & 6284 January 22, 2007

Things are feeling congested at chez Lloyd and Kelly with Becky hanging around constantly. Kelly had hoped that Becky was going out to bingo with the girls from the factory but Becky is right skint, so she thought she would stay in and watch the movie with her flatmates. They debate what they should have for tea. Kelly is opposed to getting anything from Wong's chippy, since last time she got one of Yana's artificial nails mixed in with her food. They decide on chinese take-away instead. The freeloader returns with the food and gets on Kelly's nerves even further by letting Lloyd feed her with his fork. The three roomies settle in rather uncomfortably to watch the movie.

In the morning Lloyd is starting to worry about showing up for work on time, since Kelly has been in the bathroom for a whole 25 minutes. Becky explains some of the mysteries of what a woman does whilst in this secret chamber. Becky starts to give him a towel scrub in the kitchen but Kelly emerges to save him from this fate.

At Streetcars Lloyd is debating the pros and cons of living with two women. He is eating more and drinking less. His reputation as a stud is growing. He will never have to buy shampoo again, but is no longer able to parade around his flat in his grundies. (I love parading around in my flat in my grundies - wouldn't trade it for anything) A while later at the Streetcars office Kelly comes by to visit Lloyd and they are so glad to have some time together at last. Except for Eileen being in the ofice with them.

Chesney and Sophie stop in at The Cafe after school for a bite to eat but Vera tries to show them the door. The two waifs tell Vera a hard luck story about how he hasn't had any proper food all day, and will be lucky if Les brings him a packet of crisps home from the pub. Vera is moved by this tale of woe and lets them stay, and if they clear the tables they can have a free soda. For some reason Rosie decides to stuff the remains of a hamburger deep into the radiator. No doubt this will raise a stink sometime in the near future.

Leanne is taking her new role in the factory seriously and tries to get off on the right foot by serving the girls tea. Naturally this lot, given an inch will try to take a mile, and they request a coffee machine that will make foam as well. Leanne says she will 'raise' the issue with Danny. Much chortling ensues. Sally remains unconvinced of Leanne's intentions though.

Eileen is walking down the street talking to someone (Sean maybe?) about the Richard Hillman cards. Eileen thinks since Gail is sending the cards to herself anyways, she could save herself the price of postage and just give the cards to herself, or just stuff them through the letter box on her own. Something like that. Naturally, Gail hears part of the conversation* and asks Eileen if she was talking about her. Eileen replies that, yes indeed, she was talking about Gail, then continues walking down the street.

*Why is it that Gail always manages to show up halfway through any comversation that involves gossip about her? She has impeccable timing in this regard.

Archie and Rita are going for a drive to some pub in a forest somewhere. Apparently it's quite nice. Audrey seems a bit crestfallen by this bit of news. Later, after they have returned Archie runs into Audrey and they decide to go for a G&T in The Rovers. Naturally Keith observes this from a distance and assumes the worst. Keith and Rita decide to join A&A in the pub for a drink. Blanche and Deirdre, Coronation Street's resident fish monger's wives, decide to go to the pub to watch the sparks fly. Keith steers Audrey to a table in the corner away from Rita and Archie so Keith can harp about money and Archie and all the usual things he moans about. Audrey tells him that he is boring and perhaps it would be best if they call it a day. Keith is none too pleased by the way things are turning out, and blames it all on Archie. Things were fine till that gravedigger stuck his oar in. Or, rather his spade. Keith leaves the pub in a fury. Blanche, having correctly predicted the events that took place, notes that Keith has a face that looks like a slapped bum.

Later Gail and Audrey are having a drink in The Rovers. Audrey is trying to explain that Keith is snubbing her on the street and thinks her a two-timing trollop. Keith walks in at this point, spots Audrey and does an abrupt about face and walks out again. Audrey chases out after him, leaving Gail on her own. Gail shouts that Audrey hasn't finished her drink yet. You finish it Audrey replies. Gail slinks home alone. Keith and Audrey have it out on the street and decide that there is really no spark between them and it is best that they end things now. Keith agrees in a sullen sort of way and stomps off, telling Audrey he is not going to wrap it in flowers for her.

Danny continues to try and have it on with Frankie. He tells her that it has all been a mistake, things could be the way they used to be, that sort of rubbish. She tells him to get stuffed - sort of. Later she tries to explain this to Adonis - er Nathan, but he remains unconvinced. If she is done with Danny then she should get things settled proper with a solicitor and everything.

Later in The Rovers Frankie and Nathan are sitting in a booth when Boris and Natscha come in. Danny tells Leanne to ignore the other couple, they are just trying to wind him up a bit. At this point Frankie gives Nathan a snog, sort of like what Sarah did to make Violet jealous. Must be the rabbit fur jackets or something. Nathan wonders what will happen when Frankie realizes that he no money, will she dump him for someone with loads of cash? Frankie assures him that she is no money grubber, and that there is more to a man than the size of what's in his trousers. Meaning his wallet of course. Danny comes over and asks Frankie to step outside for a private chat for a minute or two. He tries again to convince her that things could return to way they were, but Nathan steps out and joins them. Danny is told to stop trying to be sincere, no-one is buying it anymore. Frankie sticks the knife in deep, telling Danny that she is glad that he is with Leanne, that way he will wake up every morning and remember what he used to have.

Adam is driving down the street in his shiny yellow car when he spies Danny crossing the road. Adam guns the motor and sort of steers at Danny who jumps to the curb like a scared rabbit. He yells at Adam about his dangerous driving, he has witnesses and all. The witness is Nathan though, and he didn't see a thing.

Adam has decided to have a party for his 18th birthday after all. After some debate they decide to have the party at Frankie and Jamie's, since the Barlow residence is populated by the infirmed and ancient who might object to the loud music general carrying on that is sure to take place. Ken is somewhat sad to hear this news, having hoped to host the party himself. Ken is somewhat outraged when he discovers that Adam bought a jacket for himself for his birthday for 500 quid. In addition to the traditional 18th birthday watch he had already bought for himself.

Preparations are underway for the party at Number 7. Nathan and Frankie (looking scrumptious I must say) are moving furniture and discussing the merits of fake wooden fruit. Adam and Jamie show up with arms full of alcohol, including a case of Stallion Premium Lager. You know it's going to be a party when the Stallion shows up.

Later at the party everyone is having a grand time. Sean and Tracey are bonding in a strange way. Charlie is looking at Sean in a strange way. (bizarro threesome maybe?) Sean puts on his special CD of dance/kitsch music which is sure to get the party rocking. Before long Sal is leading the others in some odd follow the leader drinking type party game. She is surprised to see Rosie at the party, probably because nobody wants to party with their kids, it might cramp their style after all. Adam decides that everyone needs to do some tequila slammers, and goes out to get a few bottles of Mexican magic from the store. On the way back, naturally he bumps into Danny in front of the flat. A few harsh words are spoken and Adam ends up giving Danny a punch in the nose. A bit of scuffling ensues, with Adam's expensive new jacket getting ruined in the process. Danny tells Adan that Mike was right to leave the factory to him - how can Adam have been expected to control a business when he can't control his own temper?

At some point earlier Danny goes to his solicitor to see if there is some way he can prevent Frankie from getting her equal share of things. The solicitor says this is unlikely, unless there are some mitigating circumstances. Danny mentions that Frankie's new lover is living with her in the flat Danny is still paying for. This seems to be one of those circumstances. Unless I am mistaken, Nathan hasn't moved in with Frankie. Anyone know for sure?

Towards the end of the party Adam and Sean have a chat in the garden about the whole state of affairs. How it's not about the money for Adam, how Ken is a spectator compared to Mike being a player, how he is unhappy living where he is, how he is unsure about the future. Sean gives him some wise counsel and the two have a nice moment of bonding out back. So to speak.

ClustrMap Update


Welcome Madagascar Corrie Canuck reader(s)! Still waitng for someone in Papua/New Guinea to stop in for a visit though.

Pub Night - Not Quite Corrie


Okay, so it's not an official Corrie pub night, in the sense that I won't be bringing my Corrie stuff with me - but wanted to let you know about this. As so many Corrie Canucks are Scottish or of the Scottish persuasion, I've tried to gather us in past years for Robbie Burns day. This year it may happen. Myself and a few other Corrie Canucks will be celebrating Robbie Burns day this thursday Jan 25 at:

The Auld Spot Pub
347 Danforth Avenue
Toronto, Ontario M4K 1N7

Tel: 416.406.4688

I'm not sure how crazy it gets in there on Rabbie Burns, but I'm going to aim to be there for 6.

I'm 99% sure they do a big kilt/haggis/pipe fest, but if not, just join the drunk Glacia in the corner screaming out, 'Donald, where's your trousers?!' to unsuspecting men.

Be there or be....not Scottish or summit.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

More Soapstar Superstar

For some reason the embedding on these clips has been disabled so here are some direct links to more Corrie-related 'Soapstar Superstar' performances on YouTube:

Antony Cotton - 'Daniel'

Antony Cotton - 'Don't Rain on My Parade'


Antony Cotton - 'Angels'

Antony Cotton - 'La Vida Loca'

Antony Cotton - Mad World

This one is probably my favourite:

Antony Cotton - Shirley Bassey Medley.

'Goldfinger' and everything.

I didn't see any Kelly Crabtree or Leanne Battersby performances available, otherwise I would have included them as well.

Antony is quite the entertainer. He's going to have no problem finding a girlfriend after this because if there is one thing the ladies dig, it's a song and dance man.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Where's Corrie?

Okay, next week's schedule is as follows for Corrie:

Monday - two back to back episodes

Tues & Wed - no corrie :-(

Thursday - one corrie :-}

Friday - two Corrie :-0

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALSO....

George Snuffleupagus is interviewing Johnny Brings on The Hour - Thursday February 8 at 11pm

The Lost Update


GAIL LOSES HER MIND
PLUS A DAY

The episode starts when Sarah and David inform Gail that it’s not Sunday, it’s actually Monday, a workday, and maybe she should get dressed and, er, go to work. But Audrey drags her off to Roy's instead for a talk. Audrey thinks the pills are bad and that Gail should see a doctor. Trevor asks, wasn’t it Audrey who told her to take the pills in the first place? No wonder Gail walks off in a huff.

Later at the Kabin, Norris says they’d be doing good business if the Richard Hillman imposter were shopping at the Kabin. Poor Shawn makes a crack, “of course she knows who sent them,” just as Gail walks in. Awkward silence, followed by a stampede for the door. Great, more fodder for Gail’s growing neurosis.

KEITH LOSES FACE AND KEN’S PAPER

Ken has to chase Keith all the way to the Kabin to find out what happened to his morning paper. Keith is irate in return, saying it was Norris’ fault the paper wasn’t in the stack to begin with and that now they’re all sold out. Ken says coldly that he'll take his custom elsewhere. Archie congratulates Keith for managing to piss off Ken, the street’s "liberal and pacifist" (he obviously hasn’t witnessed Ken with Danny-boy, lately).

Meanwhile, is Audrey fixing to lose Keith? She has a heart-to-heart with Archie about her problems with Keith and how much fun he isn’t. Archie is a genuinely good soul, offering her a smile and a break from her troubles at the Rover's.

LLOYD AND KELLY LOSE THEIR PRIVACY

Becky makes an overly big deal about walking in on Kelly and Lloyd kissing. Yikes, she’s creepy. Anyway, the lovebirds are very accommodating towards their guest. They all walk to work together, a happy threesome (in the most non-sexual way, God willing). Becky’s finding the flat dead cozy. Good luck getting her to leave, I say.

DANNY LOSES A GOOD WOMAN AND GAINS A KITCHEN. OR DOES HE…?

Violet thinks Frankie’s on the mend, but Jaime (with that never absent long-suffering look of his) thinks that Danny’s going to find a way to ruin Frankie. Nathan thinks Frankie should take the money and cut her losses. Jaime thinks accepting the money lets Danny off way too easy. Frankie is the only one who doesn’t know what to think. Nathan makes it clear he’s not going to wait forever.

Meanwhile, Leanne wants a purpose in life (now that she's done rifling through all the drawers I guess). Danny gives her cart blanche to fix up the apartment, starting with a kitchen remodel. This has her all excited until she comes up with an even better idea – working at the factory! Danny actually agrees to make Leanne his PA. Well, it's true that she'd be the one to look out for his best interests (financially speaking).

Which is why it’s too bad she’s not around when Danny finally corners Frankie about the settlement. One minute, Danny’s all come on, Frank, take the money, let’s have an amicable divorce. She replies no way, she wants 50% of everything. Suddenly, Danny’s all, I love you, Frank, and we never should have parted and blah-blah-blah. Me thinks I smell panic.

But wait one gol-durned minute, why isn’t Frankie boxing his ears? What’s with that softening look in her eye? Don't tell me she's actually falling for this charade?! RUN, FRANKIE, RUN!!!

The end.

CORONATION STREET 1973

Mavis wants the job at the new Kabin.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Update Jan 18 - RIVERDANCE!

JayneTunnicliffe006
I Heart Yana, Seriously
Life is all television, manicures and pints of lager over at the Battersbys complete with Kir-keh and Yana. (And her hair is looking aaaaaaaaaa-mazing if I can just say).

In the midst of it all the phone rings with Genna telling God-cilla that she’s recommending the adoption. Cilla’s so excited that she invites Genna over to get drunk. (Who declines the offer.)

Oh, I’m starting to warm up to Cilla.

A party ensues with Fizz and Jo (or is it Jesse? I'm never sure) coming over to join them. The VERY best part is when Yana suggested that they Riverdance.

Oh the times, I’ve Riverdanced while 4 sheets to the wind! Good on you, girl!

Hey, Didn’t You Used to be Goth?
Craig comes down the stairs, looking weirdly normal. No black clothing, no Marilyn Manson shirt, no boots, no makeup. Keef’s not sure what to make of it.

Craig continues to shock all and sundry when he walks over to the Websters. Everyone except Rosie is pleased to see the brand new Craig.

She stays on the phone with Imogene cracking jokes about the accident until Craig and mom tell her it’s not funny. (Personally, I think if you get hit by a car you’re allowed to crack a few jokes, but that’s just me.)

Craig tells Rosie that he needs to talk to her and she’s afraid that he’s going to break up with her or has been sleeping/kissing someone else. Nothing as serious as that, he just wants to explain why he’s turned his back on the Goth culture. He says that when he was in the hospital that people looked at him odd and that he’s had enough in his life without being normal.

WHAT?

Sellout!

Here, Craig, one of my favorite quotes:
"Let me be more clear; if you behave in a manner pleasing to most, then you are probably doing something wrong. The masses have never been arbiters of the sublime, and they often fail to recognize the truly great individual. Taking into account the public's regrettable lack of taste, it is incumbent upon you not to fit in." - Janeane Garofalo

He further explains that he just can’t afford the makeup.

Oh, that’s a better excuse – Glacia’s Dutch and Scottish blood approves.

She’s Might Be, You Know…. Momar Khadafi – Like.
It comes out that Becky stayed the night on a bench at the Red Rec and the Underworld gang gathers around to help her out. Sean gets her a shower at the pub and sneaks a hotpot and pint for her.

While she’s taking a shower, Jo/Jesse says that the watch gift was a bit over the top. Perhaps she’s a Lybian! Or maybe a Lebanese. Either way, Kelly assures them all that Becky’s no tennis player.

(Seriously, where do they get this stuff?)

Later, around the table with a freshly washed Becky, they try to get some money together for her and but can only come up with a few pounds. So Fizz, bless her heart gets up the courage to ask Danny for an advance on Becky’s cheque. Danny’s feeling a bit expansive (more later) and antes up to help out the homeless girl.

Becky’s very happy with the money but reasons that the amount is only a short term solution so why not buy a round of pints for her mates.

Later, Kelly convinces Lister to let Becky move in with them. He agrees and when Becky shows up, she brings a bottle of champers to celebrate.

Kelly suggests that perhaps that Becky needs some money management skills.

You think?

Personally, I’d Hold Out for 50% not 50K.
Danny offers up 50K to Frankie as a divorce settlement and she says that she’ll have to think about it. It's during this discussion that Fizz asks him for the advance, even going so far as to call him 'Dan'. Me thinks he was only so willing to go for that was to look the good guy in front of Frankie.

Meanwhile, Sean overhears the offer and tells Violet who phones Jamie.

By the time Frankie gets home, Jamie’s ready to tell her that it’s not enough. He wants her to screw Danny to screw her over like he’s screwed over the rest of the family.

Indeed.


Oh, The Ladyboys of Weatherfield
Norris is all full of gossip about Rita, Archie and their liaisons dangereuses. What kind of relationship do they have watching post operative trannies? It seems all too much for Emily to take in, quite frankly.

Meanwhile, Audrey and Keef seem to be back together and he has made plans for them to go to some pub called ‘The Bag of Nails’. It’s just then that they run into Rita and Archie going to Chatsworth for some afternoon delight, I mean afternoon tea.

Audrey tells them that her and Keef are on their way to the Clock.

Take that in for a moment. The Clock…Keef….The Clock.

When Rita and Archie are out of earshot, Audrey tells him that it’s her treat.

On a Final Note
Are the wardrobe staff mad at Shelly? Seriously, what the HELL did they put on her?

(Also, the jacket Frankie wears tonight is unfortunate too.)

Report of Corrie Demise are GREATLY Exagerrated


So there's a rumour out there that CBC will stop showing Coronation Street this summer.

False! Super False!

My super secret anonymous insider tells me that they've got a contract to show Corrie up to 2008.

PS Thursday update is coming...Glacia just getting through some work right now.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Tell Me About The Ladyboys

Papa's started something evil here.



Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Update - January 17, 2007 - "I Flippin' Love You Two!"

There's Nothing You Can Do That Can't Be Done

Les is on the front step berating the letter carrier. He's desperate to get letter from social services approving his adoption of Chesney. He claims that he must have another letter in there somewhere and starts rifling through his mail sack. Cilla warns him off and brings Les inside.

The mailman goes next door to Emily's, hands her the mail and tells her neighbours need help.

Emily responds that they're beyond the help of even the Good Lord.

At the Battersby's, Chesney is down about not getting the letter. Cilla tells him to cheer up and holds up an envelope from Publisher's Clearing House - or whatever the equivalent is in England. They may already be millionaires, she tells him.

At Streetcars, Les mopes to Lloyd that he's sure they won't let him adopt Chesney because of his criminal record. Lloyd corrects him - he made mistake and got caught. He's no villain.

Lloyd tells him he needs to fight for Ches if he really wants to be his dad. Les perks up and starts to make a call on the office phone as he explains the mobile is too expensive at that time of day.

Les goes round to the Chippy and tells Cilla that he's asked Genna the social worker to come by as he has some new information. Les says he's not sure what he'll say but he'll make it up as he goes along (oh, good plan). Cilla is not terribly supportive and says that Ches will never miss what he never had.

"By this time next week, he'll have forgotten all about it," she adds.

"Well, I won't!" Les protests.

At home, Les gets Ches to fetch him a beer, which he promptly spills all over himself when there is a knock at the door. Thinking it's Genna, he pulls off his sweater and tries to mop up the spill because, at the Battersby-Brown house, Genna is going to notice something as dirty as a beer stain on the carpet. Suddenly, Cilla walks in.

Genna finally does arrive later on and Ches is dispatched to make her a cup of tea. She asks Les what this "new information" is but it's clear there is none. She prepares to leave when Cilla stops her.

Suddenly, Cilla is possessed by some kind of angelic spirit and sincerely tells Genna that Les is the best thing to ever happen to Ches, while she is the worst. She says that Les would die for Ches and if it weren't for him, Ches would likely be in care instead of living with his mother and her husband.

Genna seems genuinely moved and says she can't promise anything and takes her leave.

Ches is moved as well as he exclaims "I flippin' love you two!"

Group hug!

Nothing You Can Know That Can't Be Known

Danny and Leanne are arguing in the car all the way to the factory. As she leaves and Danny opens up the shop for the day, Frankie comes by to tell him he'll be getting a call from the solicitors. It's time to settle the divorce. Danny says something about bloodsuckers and says he's not having this conversation.

Later, Adam sees him in the street and tells him he'll be hearing from his solicitor soon, even though he struck out in that department but Danny doesn't know that. Danny talks about Mike's love of poker, which Adam wouldn't know about as he spent his formative years in Scotland. He tells him not to bluff unless he knows he can be called on it.

"This is not over," Adam tells him.

Danny tells him they can have a chat any time he likes. Next time, he could bring Ken so he can hold his hand. Adam appears to be on the verge of tears. Oooh, burn!

In the Rover's, Danny is, well, a right prick to Ken to Deirdre. Ken tells him he stole what was rightfully Adam's and that this is not over.

"What? Are you all reading from the same cue cards or something?" he asks.

When they leave, Danny sees Frankie and apologises for his rudeness that morning. He's ready to talk about the settlement. But after seeing his behaviour, she tells him to forget it, her bloodsuckers will deal with him.

Nothing You Can Do But You Can Learn How to Be in Time. It's Easy

Audrey goes round to Gail's to find she hasn't been sleeping. Audrey suggests she get a prescription for sleeping pills to help. This sends Gail into, well, full-on Gail mode:

"No! I don't need this! It would be like saying Richard has won!!!"

So she gets the pills anyway.

Nothing You Can Say But You Can Learn How to Play the Game. It's Easy

Kelly tries to apologise to Becky about the watch but Becky isn't interested until she actually starts wearing it.

Later, Kelly gets a call and starts crying afterward. Kelly asks what it is so Becky tells her the bank won't give her a loan. Kelly tries to suggest she take the watch back but her friend insists that it was a present. Becky tells her she can take care of herself, just as she's done all her life.

Later, Kelly sees Sean hugging a tearful Becky. When she leaves, Sean swears Kelly and a nearby Sally to keep this top secret: Becky's been evicted! I think the rent money went to the watch.

All You Need Is Love. Womp-ba-dada-da!

Norris tells Emily that he believes Rita has the glow of a woman in love about her, ever since she went on that date with Archie. Rita enters and says that she saw the best cabaret she's seen in years. This coming from a cabaret and vaudeville veteran herself, is high praise.

Norris asks what it was. She's a bit reluctant to say but finally tells him and Emily that she saw Ladyboys of Bangkok. (Not to be confused with 'Bangkok Chick Boys,' Alan Partridge's favourite film.)

Emily is a bit taken aback.

"It sounds very... Oriental." she says. People still say that over there? "What exactly is a 'ladyboy'?"

Der Fliegen Schlumpf*


* Translates roughly as The Flying Smurf - hint hint.

It's a Drag Update

ladyboy
Girls Just Want to Have Fun, Keith… I SAID, Girls Just Want To Have Fun
Good time Archie swings into town and asks Rita to come with him to the ‘opera’ later that night. Rita gladly accepts but is later worried that Archie hasn’t planned something too highbrow.

No worries on that point, Archie is taking her to the avant garde stylings of 'The Ladyboys of Bangkok’ HURRAH!

Meanwhile, Keith has a whirlwind date planned for himself and Audrey. A day slogging around the countryside topped off with tea and crumpets and an over 60’s event. Audrey ponders this for about .5 seconds and tells him she’ll take a pass.

She tells him that she doesn’t own a pair of sensible shoes and has no intention of acquiring a pair for countryside outings. ‘I’ve climbed mountains in slingbacks’ she responds when he suggests buying a pair for further outings. She further explains that she really doesn’t want to hang out with the OAP set.

Keith, and I believe this may be the final nail in the coffin of their relationship, tells her that it’s time for her to start acting her age.

Keith! Come on, dude!

To make matters worse, the walk out of the salon JUST in time to see Archie whisk Rita off in his sexy black convertible. As they drive off leaving Audrey and Keef in the dust, Audrey tells him not to say a word.

Meanwhile, meanwhile, back at the Rovers, a slightly bitter Blanche expresses her disgust to Sean about Archie’s choice of show. ‘All those perver-sexuals, tucking their tackle where the sun don’t shine!’

BTW - Archie is DEFINATLY OAP tottie - for that car alone.

I Want To Be Sedated
Oh my God, Gayle is really going off her nut. She’s decided take a sick day off and stay at home because, ‘I’m not fit to be around humanity.’

Gayle, sweetie, that’s nothing new.

Anyone remember annoying depressed Gayle back in 1995 when Martin had the affair? This is a repeat performance and makes me want to just send a box of sleeping pills to her fedex. Sarah tries once again to be the voice of reason and tries to calm down Gayle who by this point is in such a fit of paranoia she begins to suspect such evil gin soaked bitches as Claire and Emily.

Hello! How about Bethany?!

Later at the Kabin, Gayle komes in for some kondiments, khokolate and kigarettes and is subjekted to wikked gossip from Norris, Blanche and Rita. There’s a suggested that about her going off the deep end and sending the greeting kards to herself as a kry for help.

She storms out of shop and runs into Eileen who tries to hold out an olive branch, noting that Gayle’s going through a lot and doesn’t need grief from her. Gayle’s not in a forgiving mood and even more so when she see the Richard Hillman twin that Les has been on about.

Audrey comes over to check on Gayle and when Gayle starts going on about seeing Hillman, Audrey suggest that Gayle get some medical help.

If You Got The Time…
We get a look at the shangrila that is Lister’s flat - splendid in purple stripped wallpaper, dart board, empty beer cans, a neon ‘Jazz’ sign and a fishnet sock leg lamp marked ‘Fragile’.

Glacia puts down her Harvey Wallbanger in order to call in a 911 to Colin and Justin.

Kelly is wisely picking out new wallpaper when Lister asks why she’s not wearing the watch Becky gave her. Kelly is convinced that the watch is hot even after Lister shows her some ‘this watch is not hot’ engraving on the back.

They head over to Rovers where Becky catches up with them and tries to join them for a few brewskis. When Kelly passes on the threesome, Becky notices that she’s not wearing the watch. She tells Kelly it’s okay if she doesn’t like it, she’ll exchange it for something else.

Kelly tells her that it’s not that she doesn’t like it, it’s just that it’s a bit HOT for her wrist. Becky is rightfully insulted and later on the street throws the receipt in Kelly’s face.

Kelly must be pretty full from all the humble pie she’s been eating this week.

In Other News
Rosie comes home and Craig joins her parents at the hospital to pick her up. Sally comes home later that day to find that Craig has been waiting on her daughter hand and food – feeding her seiten soup and reading Edward Gorey poetry.

Mrs. Webster is pleased.

Les and Ches are becoming quite a unit and Les is proudly telling everyone and sundry that he’s going to pass on all his worldly knowledge to Chesney and gee, don’t they even look alike.

Chesney is very happy when Les says that he tells the passengers in his cab that he has four kids, Gregory (aka Sally's ex-lover), Toyah, Leanne and Chesney.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Returned!

Hi Y'all,
You Corrie experts likely know all about this, but I was surprised to see Janice all over the place in the UK....I say well done Vicky!

P.S. John, I'm back! Let me know what updates I can do for you.

Happy Anniversary

**

I'm begining to like this yearly post because it makes me feel like the Queen at Christmas on the telly. The only difference between myself and the queen (besides the money) is that she doesn't give her speech 4 days late. So, with that, here's something I wrote up.

Ahem....

Corrie Canucks at home and abroad, I come to you in this joyous season of anniversary-ness to bring you good wishes of joyous joy and joyality. At this time, when the world seems to be at once going into the future and yet staying in the present, our thoughts naturally turn to, the children. The children are future of Corrie Canuck and it is to them that we must particularily turn our hearts and minds to in this joyous joyful time of goodwill.

However, what I'd like for all of you to take with you today is.

'THREE CHEERS FOR CORRIE CANUCKS 2ND ANNIVERSARY!!!!!!!'

Seriously, I cannot BELIEVE how much this wee blog has grown. I've said it before, but who would have thunk that from my sad entry about not having anyone to chat to about Corrie, would spring the vibrant blog we have today.

We've had mention in the Guardian, Pete Townsend dropped in for a hello, and more recently we've had our names in the bright lights of Reader's Digest. However, more importantly, we've gathered readers from all over the world and here in the glorious rebuplik of Canuckland - readers who are the heart of our blog.

In addition, let me raise my 8:45 am cup of vodka to some seriously cool people. First our contributors:

John
Papa Smurf
Working from Home
Go Betty
Pamer
Tiny Vi
MJ
Ginny
Radmila
Susan
Chelly

Second our overseas Corrie connection:
Flaming Nora!

Finally once again I thank our readers who give us our raison d'etre and share their own thoughts on all that is Corrie goodness. I'm tempted to back out of naming names, because I'll know I'll forget a WHACK of peeps, but I've decided to give it a shot and hope you'll forgive any omissions.

Missusmac
Big Seester (aka Michigander Fan)
Debbie
Karen
London Rob
Ang
Alasdair
Jackie

So THANK YOU THANK YOU all for making this such a great blog - y'all are amazing.

One more special announcement, I'm crowning Papasmurf official recordkeeper of Corrie Canuck. Arise Sir Archive of Strongbow! Arise Sir Factman of Weatherfield! Arise Sir Trivia of Sandwich!

Monday, January 15, 2007

Superstar!



This is why Antony Cotton won this year's "Soapstar Superstar." The song begins at the 2 minute mark, after the little intro bit. You can see Chesney, Kirkeh, and Eileen cheering him on in the crowd.

It's just a bit of fun to see the Corrie gang outside of the context of the show, which we rarely do in Canada.

Update for Epiosde # 6278 January 15, 2007

It seems that Vera Duckworth can start more wars than this guy.

The Key

Kelly is less than impressed with the birthday gift she has received from Lloyd - a key to his flat, so she can move in with him. (seems like a good gift to me but then I am just your average male) Later while chatting with some of the girls from the factory she realizes that she is being a selfish cow about things and that the gift is actually very thoughtful and dead romantic. Kelly makes up with Lloyd and agrees to move in with him as soon as possible, so she can show him how grateful she really is.

In the midst of all this drama, Becky the nutter receives a mysterious call on her mobile and rushes off to meet someone. She returns a while later with a birthday gift for Kelly - what appears to be an expensive watch - which seems innappropriate and inexplicable at the same time.

The Cad

Deirdre pops round the flat of the Prince of Darkness to drop off Amy for the night, only to find Tracey getting dolled up for a night out with the human sneer. The mother and daughter have their usual spat about parenting techniques. Charlie then marches into the room without a shirt on (take a deep breath Jacqueline) and agrees that Deirdre should take Amy for the night - so he can have a night of uninterrupted rumpy pumpy with Tracey.

Tracey is still unable to find the missing red shoe.

The Car

Craig rushes into the hospital in search of his one true love. He finds the Websters waiting in a hallway to see what the results of the X-rays will be. Kevin gives him him something to drink while they are waiting, which seems to surprise Craig a bit. When Mom and Dad are at Rosie's bedside, Kevin is quite reasonable, noting that things could have been much worse had the driver been speeding instead of doing the speed limit. Sal replies in her usual harridan fashion. Rosie just wants to see Craig so she can show him the authentic black goth cast on her arm. Craig volunteers to stay with Rosie - all night if he has to - if Sal has to go and take care of Rosie. It turns out that Kev is taking care of Sophie, so Rosie suggests that both Craig and her Mom sit with her. Sounds a bit awkward to me.

The Kid

In spite of an initial setback at the solicitors Adam vows to continue contesting the will, because that's what Mike would want him to do.

The Coot

Blanche has somehow got the idea that Archie has returned to the street for her. Ken thinks this might be true - in his capacity as an undertaker. Blanche pops in to The Rovers for a drink and ends up sitting with Rita, Emily, and Archie. The four codgers play some guessing games for a while until Blanche finally gets Archie alone at the bar. Blanche tells Archie that while she has changed as a person, her romantic feelings for him remain the same as they did in the old days. Archie rejects her in a gentle fashion, telling Blache that they have a special friendship and that he has learned not to live in the past, or to dwell on old feelings.

Rita, whilst gazing wistfully at Archie, comments to Emily that she misses male company.

The Card and The Cop

Gail confronts Eileen in the pub about all the talk of who has ben sending the Hillman cards to Number 8. Gail accuses her arch nemesis of sending the cards in an attempt to break up the relationship between her and Stinky McTavish. Eileen counters by saying Gail is crazy enough to send the cards to herself in an attempt to get some attention. Vera gets stuck in with her two pence worth and tells Gail that she is dead common. It seems that Richard Hillman swindled the Duckworths out of their savings and there is still some bitterness there. Looking increasingly stressed Gail threatens to call the police. Eileen suggests that she ring an ambulance as well, and be sure that they bring a strait jacket.

In a bizarre twist Sarah is the voice of reason while all this is going on.

Back at the Platt flat things are going from bad to worse. Audrey comes by to help out but this only seems to further agitate Gail, who ends up ringing the police. Constables TweedleDum and TweedleDumber show up and try to do the best they can with the situation. Somehow Gail (Platt) assumes that the police should know who she is (Gail Hillman) and proceeds to tell them a brief history of what happened in the past and what is going on with the cards she has been receving. She wonders if the police can check the card for fingerprints. Constable TweedleDum says that this is impossible, since he has destroyed any evidence the card might contain by handling the envelope without any gloves on. The police assure Gail that if another card arrives they will be able to act on it, but there is not much they can do at the present time.

Meanwhile back at The Rovers Eileen is starting to show a flicker of empathy for Gail and all that she has been going through. This moment of compassion quickly evaporates when she steps out of the pub and sees the police cruiser parked across the street. In spite of Jason trying to head her off Eileen proceeds to confront Gail about what is going on. The two shrews screech at each other for a bit, accusing one another of various wrongdoings. Constable TweedleDum calls Gail Mrs. Platt and gets an earful in reply.

In the end Gail is quite shaken, wondering who could hate her enough to send the cards that are causing her so much pain and distress.

The Creator

On a completely unrelated note I noticed the other day that it was the second anniversary of the Corrie Canuck blog this past January 12. Congratulations and three cheers for Jacqueline our esteemed founder and inspirational muse.

From London Rob...

Separated At Birth?

Adam Baldwin


Bill Sykes

And he can sing, too

Antony Cotton ("Sean Tully") wins Soapstar Superstar - the same singing contest Richard Fleeshman ("Craig Harris") won last year.

Along with stars from other U.K. soaps, Cotton beat out fellow Corrie actors Jane Danson ("Leanne Battersby") and Tupele Dorgu ("Kelly Crabtree"). His prize is a £200,000 donation to the Elton John AIDS Foundation.

Good on ya!

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Update - January 12, 2007 - Ring Around the Rosie

"Run over" doesn't literally mean "run over."

Rosie and Sophie are being rushed into the car as they are late for school. Across the street, Keith and Craig exit the house with Keith urging that grandson take the little sandwich he made. Craig declines, as he does the idea he get a ride to school with the Websters.

Later at the factory, the girls are ooing and awing over Kelly's flowers and oversized birthday cards when Sally's phone goes off. Danny comes in, grabs the flowers and the phone and tells the girls to get back to work.

Sally protests, saying the call could have been important but Danny dismisses the notion, saying the decision of what to have for tea doesn't count as important. Just then his office phone rings, and he asks Sally to come in and take the call as it's for her.

It's bad news. Rosie has been run over by a car outside her school. Sally rushes off with Fizz following, offering help (and also to get the full details so that they can be relayed back to the girls). Sally meets Kevin outside and they rush off. Kevin also tells Nathan to take Sophie to Rita's when she gets home from school.

Later in the street, Nathan tells Craig of the news and he rushes to the hospital.

OK Even I Think This is Cheap

Kelly spends the day opening cards and receiving flowers and anticipating the awesome present Lloyd is going to give her. Later at the Rover's, he presents her with a small box. Everyone thinks it's an engagement ring. Alas, it's a key. The key to his heart, Lloyd explains. He asks Kelly to move in with him. Kelly hugs him and says of course but she is visibly disappointed that he didn't give her something nice.

For her birthday, I, on the other hand, am taking my good ladywyfe to a romantic weekend in Toronto at the British Isles Show. Have you all made your reservations yet?

The Richard Hillman Cards

At the cab office, Claire, Steve, and Eileen are discussing the cards. Eileen suggests, not too seriously I think, that it's Gail who's sending them herself.

Later, at the butcher's, Fred has Claire tell Audrey what Eileen said about the cards. Audrey is offended and walks out.

At the salon, Sarah is doing her brother's hair. He suggests Sarah could have given Eileen all the right dates for the cards. Later at the Platt's, Ashley, whose wife was murdered by Hillman, tells Gail not to think about these cards as getting upset gives the sender exactly the reaction he/she wants. Gail later learns through Sarah what Eileen has been suggesting and marches off to the Rover's to, I dunno, squeak at her.

I swear I could write this entire section as: "Blah blah blah Richard Hillman cards blah blah blah Eileen thinks Gail is sending them to herself. Blah."

The only interesting thing about this scene was the tidbit that Blanche was once a model for Vidal Sassoon but all she got for it was a crooked fringe and some funny looks.

The Girl with One Red Shoe

Tracy tells Charlie that she's off the bank that day to get his £300 back.

"With a shotgun?" he asks.

As he leaves, she puts on one of her new shoes but the other is missing. Outside, Charlie does a little pantomime and opens his jacket to reveal he has the other shoe.

At his yard, he gives Jason a hard time about giving Keith free advice as well as his girlfriend's big gob. Of course, it was Charlie that told Jason the Thicko but never mind...

When Tracy returns, she gives the money to Charlie, who makes a point of counting it in front of her. Tracy says she wants to put things right between them.

Has He Mentioned He's Challenging the Will Yet?

Adam and Ken are off the solicitors. As they leave, Adam almost rams his car, his beautiful car, into Danny's beamer. He tells Danny that he's off with a meeting with the solicitor's to contest the will.

I wonder if Adam will contest the will.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Persian Eggplant Recipe


As requested by Big Sister.

Click here. (I'll let someone else take the fall for any copywrite issues.)

I will tell you that I had to DOUBLE the amount of spice and was very generous with the cayenne and black pepper. You'll need to really work with the spices, because frankly I found the original amounts listed in this recipe a far, far too tame.

On top of the casserole, I added black pepper to the paprika.

Also, I would have liked to use more currants, but Mr. Glacia wasn't keen on it.

Update - January 11, 2007

bw

Gratuitous Bill Ward totty shot....just cause Glacia feels like it.

Who Got It From Whom and Where Is It Going?
Tracey is being supah nice to the rat (albeit sexy rat) Charlie. He’s a little perplexed however when Deidre snubs Tracey on the street.

Meanwhile back at the Barlow house, Deidre is fretting about the evil spawn that is her daughter. Blanche comforts her by mentioning that Tracey only acts like this because Deidre was such a selfish crap mother. She tells Deidre not to worry because there’s a high probability that Amy will inherit Tracey’s bad behaviour.

Ken then asks aloud that if all of this is passed down from mother to daughter, then where did Deidre get it from.

Ooooooooooooh snap!

More later…..

I’m Sorry I Don’t Have Enough Brains to Form an Opinion
Gayle is looking frazzled and David, who is all of a sudden being the perfect son, expresses concern about Gayle’s health.

They discuss Gayle’s idea that Eileen is sending the cards and David says that she may want to give this more thought. If she’s wrong about Eileen, she’s going to look mighty foolish and rash. (Cause the neighbour’s have never seen Gayle go off her nut before.).

Meanwhile, Sarah tells Jason (cause she’s an idiot) that Gayle suspects Eileen, but makes Jason swear he won’t tell Eileen. And because he’s an idiot, when Eileen asks Jason if he wants a cuppa he says, ‘Ta, mom – I’ll take my with some sugar and a bit of Gaylethinksyousentthehillmancards.’

Eileen of course, is fit to be tied and rightfully thinks Gayle is insane.

When either of the Grimshaws ask Sarah if she believes Gayle theory, she just kind of shrugs her shoulder and says, ‘I don’t know what to think.’

Way to endear yourself to the family there, kid.

Mr.Glacia Says…

‘Oh my god. That woman really is dysfunctional.’

cs song

I’m having a hard time keeping track of how the rumours spread on the street, but I’ll give it a shot.

Audrey, Norris and Rita are having a light conversation about pro-choice and pro-life** when Audrey starts expressing thoughts about Tracey’s abortion. Blanche walks in and over hears this and sets the record straight.

Her granddaughter is NOT the kind of girl to have an abortion. She is the kind of a girl who would lie about having an abortion in order to manipulate her evil (but cute!) boyfriend.***

So that tidbit goes from Audrey, to Sarah and down to Jason.

(Feel free to start using an excel spreadsheet to keep your facts straight.)

Later, Charlie confronts Jason about how Deidre found out about the abortion and Jason (cause he’s an idiot) says, ‘Yeah but, no but, yeah but, don’t listen to her anyway cause she never had an abortion.’

Dah-dah-daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Tracey comes home and Charlie confronts her about he abortion and accuses her of keeping the baby. She says that she lied about not having an abortion to save Deidre some grief. He asks for some proof that she had the abortion.

Tracey looks foolish and admits that she didn’t have the abortion.

‘What about my 300 quid?’ he asks, handsomely.

Tracey holds up her magical technicolour shoes.

In a suprising move, he laughs the incident off and when she offers to move out he tells her that she can stay.

Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen he turns back into super-creep and grabs her by the throat telling her not to pull any crap like that again.

No more smirking Tray-ceh.

In Other News
Kelly has a birthday.

Leanne and Danny go to Spain.

Craig is back from the grave and is grumbly with grandpa.

P.S. I was making Persian Eggplant while the show was on, so if I missed anything, feel free to add to this update.

** I really don’t see how the lying about an abortion to CHARLIE is such a big deal for Deidre. That act is so off the wall that I’m not sure you can use a standard moral chart to measure it.

*** As much as I like when the bring current issues on the show, pro-choice/pro-life is a little to ‘real’ in my books. I would like the writers to also stay away from issues such as the war in irag, the greenhouse effect and any discussion whatsoever about the eutopian themes in post world war II German literature.

Here he comes, the boy in the bright white sports car

Sorry, that's the best I can do when trying to make my arrival at a convention for anglophiles sound cool.

But all that to say that I have made my reservations at the suggested hotel so the missus and I will be in Toronto for the British Isles Show, to bring a little Montreal heat to cold Toronto. We will buy McVities biscuits, Corrie souveniers (well, I will anyway), and meet Fizz. And go to the pub afterward. And maybe get Fizz to come with us as well.

And I will not be driving my bright white sports car. I will be flying.

And by bright white sports car, I mean Toyota Corolla.

See you then!

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Update - January 10, 2006 - Now You Know

And Knowing Is Half the Battle!

Tracy is in fine form this morning as she struggles with an uncooperative buggy and a mischievous daughter. Charlie is not being too sympathetic.

Meanwhile, the Council of the Elder Barlows has convened to discuss further the subject of What Tracy Did This Time. Deirdre has taken the day off sick and says she feels she has failed as a mum if her own daughter couldn't confide in her as she took the decision to have an abortion.

Later, she goes to Charlie's builder's yard to confront him. She accuses him of forcing her to have an abortion. He says she came up with that plan all by herself, worked out all the angles and in the end, did what was best for Tracy. He adds that Deirdre should be proud of the magnificent piece of work Tracy is. After all, Deirdre made her what she is today.

Later at the Barlow's, Tracy is packing some things to take Amy and have dinner with Charlie. Deirdre asks her to stay, offering to take her out, just so they can talk. She becomes more anxious and frantic as she knocks over Amy's Lego tower, which makes the child cry.

They sit down and have a heart to heart. Deirdre tells her daughter that she thinks she's failed as a mother if Tracy couldn't tell her about the abortion. Tracy confesses that there was no abortion. Deirdre is elated. Does this mean there is still a baby. Well, no. There never was a baby. Tracy explains the logic - Charlie was refusing to let Amy live with them. By pretending to be pregnant, it gave Tracy a bargaining chip which she could use against Charlie to allow Amy to live with him, in exchange for Tracy "aborting" the child.

Deirdre tries to work out what kind of sick mind thinks this was a good idea. Suddenly Deirdre is all "I HAVE NO DAUGHTER" and kicks Tracy out of the house (although I noticed she forgot to take Amy with her).

You know, all Peter Barlow did was marry two women. Why was he the one to leave Weatherfield in shame?

Remember kids: Don't lie about abortions. It's not worth the aggro!

The Richard Hillman Cards

The Platts are having breakfast as Jason eyes the Page 3 girl in the Weatherfield Gazette. David asks if the post has arrived. It has not. Jason is sort of asked to leave as he's not family. Outside, Jason complains about his treatment but Sarah says Hillman affected them deeply and he could never understand because he wasn't there. Sarah couldn't understand either but that's because she's a tool.

In the Rover's, the cards are the subject of conversation. Some people wonder how Gail couldn't have known her husband was a murderer. Blanche goes so far as to suggest that she knew very well. Back when this happened, I recall Vera Duckworth accusing her of the very same thing, but she also lost a lot of money to Hillman. Shelley defends Gail a bit, saying when she was her bad 'uns, she didn't see how bad they were until after the relationships were over. Eileen makes a few Gail cracks, just as Gail walks in long enough to hear it and then turns around walks out.

And guess who the latest suspect is now? If you said "Bethany," you would be wrong. It's Eileen now.

Let's Look for the Spanish Will in Sunny Spain

Danny has decided he needs to find that Spanish Will. Leanne is still lying about its location. He decides it's at Mike's villa in Spain. Leanne thinks that's a splendid idea and they're off that night. He tells Frankie that he'll be there if she needs him but she doesn't care.

Meanwhile, Ken tells Adam he thinks the solicitor will find he has a good case to contest the will.

Can't Take My Eyes Off of You

Rita and Emily are pestering Norris with their questions about his date last night. He likens the ladies the Gestapo with their questioning. They just need black leather trench coats to complete the transformation. He adds that if there is one thing he cannot abide, it's gossip. This makes Fraus Sullivan and Bishop collapse with laughter.

Later in the Rover's, Norris spills the beans about his date. He would be a disaster before he even dug into his melon balls. She had a wandering eye it seems. Not for other men. But a wonky eye that physically wanders about.

Has It Really Been a Year?

Remember when Katy died and we danced over her grave, singing Hallelujah? Good times.

Anyway, it's been one year (13 months for us, we're catching up) and Craig and Rosie go to her grave. Craig tells her that if it weren't for Rosie, he wouldn't be alive today.


So, how long before Tracy is allowed back into Number 1? Like, a day?

The More You Know

Hiya! I'm Tracy Preston Barlow Cropper. If you're thinking about pretending to get pregnant, telling your boyfriend, taking £300 off him to get an imaginary abortion but really to get new shoes, then let me tell you: Don't.

It's not worth the heartache, the disappointment and grief from your parents, and your self-righteous, anti-choice Tory neighbours. Your boyfriend will just let it slip to his thick-headed protegé, who will in turn tell his developmentally delayed hairdresser fiancé, who will tell her gran, and so on and so on.

So your whole street will think you're a cold-hearted baby-killer when in fact, you made the whole thing up in some kind of mind game with your boyfriend, the point of which you've long since forgotten. In order for people not to think you're a baby-killer ( a seller of babies, yes. A killer of them, no.) you'll have to come clean and admit it was to muck around with Charlie's head.

So don't ever lie about an abortion. I'm Tracey Preston Barlow Cropper and that's one to grow on!