Tuesday, December 18, 2007
The Tears, the Laughter, the Sex, the Violence, the Boredom … The Update – Monday December 17th 2007
UK Time Wednesday March 21st 2007.
The Beginning of a Hot and Torrid Affair!
The show opens with Vernon slathering himself with Liz’s best lotion – which, in my opinion, is the equivalent of using your boyfriend’s razor to shave your armpits. Vernon is preparing for the drumming lesson and Liz thinks she is going to get him to unload a truck. Right. Vernon needs to be careful, as his hands are now a source of income. Perhaps he should insure them.*
Later he and Liz go out to meet the delivery. To Liz’s pleasure, Derek is there to unload, and I’m not talking about the beer. OK sorry, that was uncalled for. Anyway, upon seeing Derek, Liz lets Vernon off the hook and they arrange to have a tea or a couple shots of Jagger with a lager chaser before he gets back in the truck to drive away.
As they talk about Liz being an excellent and responsible landlady, she tells Derek that while she is sorry their plans got messed up, she thinks it is probably for the best. Oblivious to what’s happening in the back room, Vernon calls down for a cup of tea. Before Derek leaves he gives Liz his phone number just in case she changes her mind. She’s basically gagging for it.
* Call me crazy, but I am kind of on Vern’s side here. The man may be idle, but he loves drumming and wants to support himself that way. That is the man Liz fell for. If she wanted an industrious hard worker, she should have gone for Fred. Anyway, why shouldn’t he be excited to start the drumming lessons?
Bad Girl Out at Night!
Janice and Leanne go walking down the cobbles together and Janice wants to know how Leanne got into the biz. Leanne tells her some BS story about working as an escort in Spain and meeting a real nice guy who she was gonna go home with anyway. And bing bam boom, she was getting paid for sex. Simple as that.*
Obviously Janice is very troubled by Leanne’s life’s work and she just can’t focus on her knicker stitching. She asks Liam for an advance on her wages. She gets denied like my VISA on December 27th. Then she asks Fizz for a couple hundred pounds. Fizz is skint. So, once again, thanks to Underworld’s extremely progressive flex hours, she takes off leaving the others to cover for her.
Amazingly, Janice locates some sellable jewelry and we see her clutching them at the buss stop. I guess Les must have given her something because she turns up at the pub with 400 quid and hands it to Leanne. Janice thinks that would be enough to hold her over until she gets a real job. I think that would only barely cover her battery of STI tests and rubbers. Leanne tells Janice that she makes that kind of money in a night. Leanne will remain a sex worker for as long as she likes.
*This makes me wonder if the writers on the street know anything about sex work or if they did any research. People don’t generally fall into it unless they fall off the wagon and onto a crack pipe. No one just starts prostituting because they only have 100 grand and need more. It is a far more desperate decision than that. There has to be something else that makes Leanne prostitute. Maintaining an upper middle class lifestyle simply isn’t enough. I think this is just bad writing.
Also, Leanne is WAY to flip about the whole thing, even if she is trying to play it down. She doesn’t seem conflicted about it at all. The hard fact about her line of work (regardless of how “classy” it is) is that ANYTHING can happen to her when she goes out. Unless she has an armed guard with her during her dates, she could end up beaten, drugged or dead quick fast and in a hurry. If you were to actually talk to “high-priced” prostitutes you would know that they are so conflicted about their work they betray that conflict in a million ways wile defending their decision to prostitute.
I know that soap writers have limits, but I think this storyline with Leanne is very weak.
Coma Kabab Shop
I guess they are trying to set Wilf Morton up as some sort of male Banche but I am wondering when I am supposed to start caring.
While Jerry now guides the residents of Weatherfield down the long wide road to morbid obesity, starting with Tyrone, Wilf is teaching Kayleigh the fine art of the graft. We learn that Wilf was a con man, and he spent a lot of time in jail. Unless he met Jim MacDonald in the slammer, I don’ really care. Anyway, Jerry intends to be a really solid dad for his kids. Good to know. I’m riveted.
Tracy Barlow Kills Again! Well, almost
It is a bad start to the day in the Barlow household and that seems to be the rule of late. It is a good thing all this rowing doesn’t wake Adam. It has totally upset Peter, although, who goes looking for some peace and quiet.
You know what will be nice and peaceful? A date with Maria, the woman who was sleeping with the man his sister killed in an art deco aided rage. And really, why try to relax when you can talk about the trial for ages while on this date?
So, Peter and Maria talk about the trial and Charlie and Tracy. Maria makes it clear that Charlie never hit a woman, even when he was with Shelly, and we all wanted to hit her. Also, she doesn’t think that Tracy seemed the type to be a “victim.” Maria needs to learn that anyone can suffer domestic abuse not just people who seem like victims.
In the pub, Ken, Deirdre and Ken get set to leave after they have yet another disagreement with Tracy. Once they step outside things get a little crazy. Peter is outside of Maria’s flat, thanking her for the night and kissing her because it is so nice to spend a nice normal evening at home with a woman who thinks his sister is totally guilty of killing her ex in a blind rage just after Christmas. Oh, life’s simple pleasures.
Tracy sees them and basically flies across the street and attacks Peter. That was a thoughtful move, Tracy. On the other side of the street Deirdre is left gasping for breath, and clutching her chest. Tracey and Peter stop scrapping long enough to call an ambulance. I pray that Deirdre dies here, because I simply cannot take the sight of her straining her neck with anguish while saying “oh Tracy” any longer.
Sadly, Deirdre lives and back at the Barlow bunker we learn that she has had an anxiety attack due to the stress. Tracy gets angry because she thinks they are implying that it is her fault. Once Ken gets her out of the room, Deirdre sums up all her doubts to Ken and admits to being “scared to death.” Then die, already.
Roy has started a sophisticated advertising campaign to fend of competition from the kabab shop.
Dev, Steve and Paul decide to go golfing again even though it is obvious you can’t trust that guy as far as you can throw him. Hands up if you think this golfing lark will end badly.