Thursday, December 13, 2007

My God But Johnny Rotten Has Really Packed It On - Update

Our poor Montreal correspond ant, the always delightful John, was 'sans l'électricité' so I am filling in. Plus I owe him for last week.

Aaaaaaaaaaanyhooooooooooo...



The New Kids On the Block
The show opens with a moving van parked in front of Charlie's old digs and the new family on the block, 'The Mortons' consisting of Jody and Wilf (whom we've seen before), Jody's Dad Gerry and siblings Mel and Darrel (twins) and the youngest, Kaleigh.

My first reaction upon seeing the Mortons was, 'My god, they've brought in a family of weasels.'

Now, in real life I am a lovely person not given to shallow judgements of the ascetically challenged, but seriously.....this family is taking the cake. Save Jerry (who actually is pleasant enough looking), the rest of them actually do look like pastey faced weasels to me. Gramps was already creeping me out with those teeth that seem to give my telly a 3D quality....but the kids ****shudder****. I want to go in, dunk them all into baths, feed them enough cake to eradicate all the pointy edges that comprise their facial features, stick them under a tanning bed and finally use whatever god damn hair products the Connors have been using to get their hair looking decent. You know, I think that's what I'm going to call the Mortons, the Anti-Connors.

Anyway, it looks like they have a few bob as their furniture is pretty fancy schmancy and I'm sure that Charlie's place went for a good price. (They don't, however, seem to be rich enough to hire movers to lug the stuff from the van to the house.)

The Mortons, are a bit noisey and Dad has the Jam blasting so loudly that it's upsetting David and Sarah who are trying to enjoy a lovely Mother's day dinner with Gayle and Bethany (who we discover can speak, if only to say 'Big woo.'.). They convince Gayle to go over and ask them to turn it down and she heads over.

Once over at the Mortons, the noise is quickly sorted out as Gerry turns down the music. He explains that it doesn't really register with him as he used to be in a punk band (who's name can't be mentioned in polite company). I really hope that it's his punk band career that has afforded him all these luxuries.

Gerry and Gayle do a bit of a chin wag and Gerry introduces the brood to her. (Kaleigh gets in a 'Whatever' when introduced and Glacia lets out a scream as she believes that saying 'Whatever' should be punishable by electro shock treatment.)

The minute Gayle goes back home, the music starts again, full blast.

Oh, yeah, Wilf says how he met Ronnie Kray back in the day and that he was a very sharp dresser. (Yeah, yeah, yeah and Adolph Hitler apparently had a good sense of humour, pappy.)

BFF, or At Least Until the Trial's Over
Tracey is playing BFF with Claire at the pub - giving her little cheers signals and waves. Then she turns to the family and says what a drip Claire is. Ken and Deidre lecture her about how she treats Claire and how she's being a false friend.

Tracey says would they rather her show her true colours to Claire and have Claire bail out of testifying in her defense. Tracey says that when she is locked away in a cell and Amy is without a mother she can say, 'At least I have my integrity.'

Mr. Glacia shouts over from the computer, 'Did that come out of her mouth?'

Tracey ponders why Deidre is so worried about Claire and then says that when Claire had those big ass glasses they looked a lot a like. (I swear I saw Ken stifling a laugh at this point.). She wonders if Claire is Deidre's love child.

The Continuing Adventures of 'Deidre Barlow Investigates'
Deidre pops around to Claire's place to see if Claire can tell her if she actually saw what was going on between Charlie and Tracey. Claire says no, but that she heard a lot of fighting going on.

Claire then says, 'That Tracey should have been an actress.' and as
Deidre's eyes bug out her head, Claire adds, 'For being so brave and happy while having so much pain underneath.'

In Other News
In the pub he pretends to Leanne that if she goes on a date with him, he'll give Janice her job back. Leanne agrees, right up to the point when Janice comes in and announces that Liam has already given her her job back.

Claire is reading Jane Eyre and I wonder if she sees herself as Jane to Ashley's Rochester.***

Ashley goes into the store and asks for cake icing as Joshua is making a cake for Claire. When Dev and Steve tease him about leaving a child unattended, Ashley gets all upset and says that Joshua is with Eileen....proving that the Peacock home is the house that humour forgot.

Paul announces in the pub that the Connor's grandfather was a merchant marine and had a girl in every port and a port in every girl. Steve retorts that Dev has seven shops, a girl in every shop and a baby in every girl. BOO0YA!

***You know, back in 1986 when I was a young'un, my boss gave me a hard bound copy of Jane Eyre for Christmas. I loved that story and for some reason always imagined Rochester as Donald Sutherland in the video of Kate Bush's 'Cloudbursting' (without the 'stach' of course.)

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jacqueline: Super update as always. I agree with you regarding the Morton kids - what I don't get is the age thing...Jodie looks to be in her thirties, and then Kayleigh looks about 12. Is Jodie Kayleigh's Mum? My husband and I couldn't get over how nosey the neighbours were! (when my new neigbhours moved in I picked through the bedroom curtains with the light off LOL).

Jacqueline said...

Well that was the thing. I thought Jody looked old enough to be Jerry's wife.

But I went online to look up the actors' ages. He was born in 1957 and she was born in 1974...so there is a good 17 years between them.

Jacqueline said...

My neighbour just had a Lexus sportscar delivered in a big f**ck-off auto transport van.

I didn't even pretend to be discreet...both my other neighbour and I watched out our windows.

I figure if she's having it delivered to her door, she likes the attention.

John said...

The Jam?!? They played the Jam?!? And I missed it??!?!? Screw you, Hydro-Québec!

Thanks for the update, Jacqueline. It's much appreciated. I was actually looking forward to this episode because I knew it was the introduction of the Mortons. I love how on Corrie, when people move in, there are instant introductions. On my street, I can't tell you my next door neighbour's name. Our arrival was met with studied indifference. Maybe we should have played the Jam.

papasmurf said...

Perhaps the producers realized that they has been introducing too many attractive characters of late, and in keeping with the tradition of Coronation Street being 'realistic' the new family is not quite as photogenic as the Connor clan are.

Debbie said...

Jodie is the oldest sister. She looks about 45 to me. Basically, she looks like she is in the same age group as her dad, Jerry. Much later, I wont tell you why, but we find out how old she is supposed to be and it is beyond funny.

I think Papa is right. I think they were looking for balance. But, wow, that Darryl is so un appealing he's kinda hot. Like, he's so ugle he looped right around to good looking.

Jacqueline said...

I actually thought she was in her 40's too.

Anonymous said...

"But, wow, that Darryl is so un appealing he's kinda hot. Like, he's so ugle he looped right around to good looking."

Ha! That's what they used to say about Jack Wild, but you are much too young to know about him.

-missusmac, who missed the introduction of the anti-Connors

Jacqueline said...

oh poor Jack Wild....tragedy in one wee person.

Did you ever see his last photos?

Whitehorse Fan said...

I thought Jodie looked to be about Gerry's age as well. I was so glad when they clarified all the relationships. When they were sorting out sleeping arrangements I was thinking: "What, why is Jodie not bunking with Gerry?"

And Jacqueline, I liked your comment about Claire relating to Jane. I was trying to figure out who the mad woman in the attic was. So many mad women to choose from!

Rob Swizzle said...

The weasel family jokes were lethally funny. Bravo!

Anonymous said...

I found this link that gives a run down of the Morton family (ages, relationships). No major spoilers - just hints at the near future for a few of the characters. The link has a date of February 2007 and I believe the episodes we are watching now are from March 2007 - so it's more of a press release thingy.

Anonymous said...

Wait - here's the link

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/soaps/a42799/the-morton-family-a-profile.html

John said...

I suggest when Claire is finished with Jane Eyre, she can read Wide Sargasso Sea, a postmodern novel that served as a kind of prequel to Jane Eyre, detailing the tragic history of the first Mrs. Rochester. It explores such themes as racial inequality and displacement. It also has lots of dirty bits in it.

Rob Swizzle said...

Mel Morton looks like a junkie version of our Katie. Just saying.

Jacqueline said...

Oooh! Have you read it John? Is it good or is it like sequels to 'Gone With the Wind'.

I'm making my amazon list right now, including 'A Book of Dreams' - the book that Kate Bush based 'Cloudbursting' on.

John said...

It's very good literary work in its own right, in as much as a postmodern novel can be considered "readable." This one can actually be read as a story, albeit a non-linear one.

There's also a film version that skips the literary stuff and goes right to the dirty bits. It stars sexy, sexy Karina Lombard.

Anonymous said...

Jacqueline, I did see the photos of aging Jack. What a hard, hard life he had at the end -- and the beginning and middle too!

Mark Lester went from being a very pretty child, to a very good looking man. He did his drink and drugs too, but now he's an osteopath and acupuncturist...I'm still looking for his clinic number. Feel some back pain coming on...

I did also adore HR Pufnstuff too, he's my friend when things get rough. HR Pufnstuff, can't do a little 'cause he can't do enough. (Sing that offkey and REALLY loud, and you will be me at age 9)

-missusmac

Whitehorse Fan said...

I read Wild Sargasso Sea, and despite the fabulous title, I didn't like it much at all. Even in a post-modern way.

But I don't remember why.

I would suggest reading it anyway, as it does look at things from an interesting perspective.

pip said...

I'm confused, if this episode aired in March 2007 why are they celebrating Mother's Day, or is that when the Brits celebrate it?

Mark Lester is an osteopath? He was the sweetest looking little boy, and Jack Wild was the perfect oppposite. So sad when they wer so young and talented, and then have such tragic lives. Look at Danny Bonaduce, he's a train wreck waiting to happen.

Jacqueline said...

Yeah...and what the hell happened to St.Patricks day? Or is that verboten in Engerland?

papasmurf said...

I did a bit of research and it seems that Mother's Day in the UK - aka Mothering Day - falls on the middle Sunday in Lent, which means it fell on March 26 this year.

Debbie said...

I also read Wide Sargaso Sea. I liked it a lot. Especially the dirty bits.

There is another book that does the same kind of thing to the robinson Caruso story called "Friday" by Michael Tournier. It's excellent with some dirty bits.

Rob Swizzle said...

Also check Maryanne Wiggins' John Dollar, a reimagining of Lord of the Flies with schoolgirls instead of boys.

Jacqueline said...

'Friday' I know of, but I never heard of this Wide Sargaso Sea. Also going to check out this Johnny Dollar.

Debbie said...

We're like a book club up in this piece!

Mayfairgirl said...

What I don't understand is, why the big rush with the take away place? Jodie kept digging (LOL) at Jason to finish the shop and then nothing...

Jacqueline said...

Just fyi....at the moment I'm reading 'The Magnificent Ambersons' and I noticed on the back of the cover is a list of 100 best books of the 20th century as chosen by a bunch of mucky-mucks like William Styron and Gore Vidal.

'The Magnificent Ambersons' was listed as #100 so I thought, hell, why don't I just read my way up to the top?

I'm putting in an amazon order and I decided that I might as well add #99 to the order. (The Ginger Man if anyone is interested.) But guess what I noticed? 'Wide Sargasso Sea' is listed as #94. And here, I had never even heard about it before now.

So yes, I do like our little Corrie Canuck reading club, especially since we don't need to do what Oprah tells us.

Jeetster said...

First time commenter: First of all, thanks for the Jam clip. I loved that band and their music was such a big part of my youth. Great song.
Second, I thought the intro to the Mortons was the oddest, most awkward introduction to a really - on first impression - bizarre family. The scene where they are in they're new house, just didn't work and as a family - in so many ways - they just don't fit or ring true. However, it's early days but that could change. I totally agree with the there posters i.e. until I found out otherwise I assumed Jody was Sinbad's oops I mean Jerry's wife. And Darryl? Dear God that lad was badly beaten with an ugly stick.
BTW I grew up on HR PufnStuff and it's only through reading this thread that I discovered Jack Wild passed away last year. Sad...