Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Update - November 28, 2007 - Boys Keep Swinging



It's 7:00am at Michelle's flat and Sonny has dropped by to propose properly with a big, fat blood diamond and everything. Michelle says "yes" and Sonny is off to another one of his mobile phone meetings where they are to discuss acquiring this season's most grating ringtones.

Michelle asks Ryan if he approves and he does, if only he can live in Sonny's big ass house. Later she tells the rest of her family and sister-in-law Carla "Margaret Thatcher" Connor approves of the big rock so you just know it was dear. Paul wants to take everyone out to a big swanky restaurant but Michelle declines, saying she has to work, as does Sonny. Paul reminds her that she just bought her meal ticket and will likely need never work again and yet Michelle doesn't want to let her co-workers down.

At the Rovers, Steve, Liz, Vernon, and Liz's breasts are having breakfast and discussing the previous evening's events and Steve declaration that Sonny is "GAY! GAY WITH SEAN!"

Vern, a veteran of the entertainment industry, reckons his gaydar is finely tuned and does not think Sonny dances with his hands above his head. Vernon probably also doesn't know about Freddie Mercury.

Meanwhile out in the street, Sean, having learned from Jamie that Steve's been yapping in the Rovers, has called Sonny and asks him to come round at once as it's an emergency.

At the Rovers, Steve is still calling Sonny "GAY! GAY WITH SEAN!" Meanwhile, Sean has called in sick which suddenly makes Michelle begin to consider what Steve is saying. However to be accurate, Steve should be saying, "SONNY'S BI! BI WITH MICHELLE AND SEAN!"

At Eileen's, Sean and Sonny are talking and Sonny makes it clear that he's with Michelle now and their affair cannot continue (although he's a bit cagey and seems to leave the door open for a bit on the side). Suddenly, Michelle's at the door and Sonny runs out the back.

Steve stands outside the Rovers and smugs wildly while Michelle goes into Eileen's. She asks Sean if it's true what Steve said. Sean denies that he and Sonny have sex on each other and says that it's Michelle that Sonny wants. Michelle says Steve is just bitter and twisted and will die a lonely old man. Sean, suddenly seeing that conversation isn't ALL! ABOUT! HIM! says "him and me, both."

Michelle assures him that someday his prince will come.

Back at the Rovers, Vernon is comparing men kissing to a car crash: you want to look but you know you should look away so when he sees two men kissing, he thinks of a car crash so he'll look away.

"You talk a lot of rubbish," says Steve. Indeed, when I think of a car crash, I think of Liz and Vernon rolling around all over each other.

She goes back into the Rovers and tells Steve that she can't believe she almost believed what he said. Then Sonny comes in and asks Steve just what has he been saying about him and does he care to repeat them. Steve backs down and tells Michelle if she wants to ruin her life, it's not his business.

The Paul and Liam come in and start interrogating Sonny for a few minutes and he looks panicked until they reveal that they're just winding him up. They do tell him that since Ryan's father died, Liam and Paul have been father figures to him and tell him that the duty now falls to Sonny and they ask they he not let them down.

Sonny agrees and everyone, including Michelle, sit down for a champagne toast.

This photo implies nothing untoward about Sonny and Michelle's engagement.


Leanne's Loaded

Leanne, back from mat leave Spain, is at Jamie's and has offered to cook him a meal to thank him for letting her stay over last night.

She also drops in on Less, who gives her a welcome home hug, and remarks that she's lost weight ("about 9 lbs worth," says the missus). He gets her caught up on the latest happenings: the house has been redecorated, they got a new leather sofa, and Tracy Barlow murdered Charlie Stubbs. He offers to let her stay with them but she observes that it's already crowded and insists on staying at a hotel. Her job in Spain, selling apartments, has made her flush with cash and she gets special rates at hotels.

She later reiterates this to Jamie who tries to get her to stay at his place. It's just as well, however, because he says that the landlord called and announced that he's selling the house and Jamie will have to find a new place. I thought Blanche still owned this place but I guess I missed something when she sold it.

Weakness for Wyborowa


Jacqueline Rita had one too many vodkas last night. She decides she's been spending too many nights with Doreen and neglecting her boring old friends which one does when one's liver hurts.

Also...

Claire's still way too personally involved with Casey, the woman in crisis.

20 comments:

Jacqueline said...

Jacqueline is drinking Polish vodka as she reads this.

Anonymous said...

John,

What about Freddie Mercury?

Michigander Fan

pip said...

Freddie Mercury (or Eddie Murphy to his closest friends), was gay for years and his fans didn't know.

I just about choked when Les asked Leanne if she was pregnant. Those writers are such cards!

The Peacock house completely disorients me every time I see it. Did they swap the kitchen and the living room? Who the heck does that?

Vern seems a wee bit too fascinated with gays, imho. Of course, it may just be sex in general, whatever the genre, that fascinates him.

Anonymous said...

I think Blanche sold Jamie's house to fund her Polish hip surgery. I thought Blanche sold it to Danny Baldwin...maybe I am wrong! But maybe Blance did sell it to Danny and Jamie is calling his dad "the landlord"....
Can someone figure this out???
Oh yeah...I have been watching cool "Kithen sink dramas" from Britain and they show Northern England it is more realistic than Corrie....They make tea on a fireplace. Albert Finney is great in "Saturday Evening Sunday Morning".(Turner Classlic Movies btw!!)


CorrieLOverUSA

John said...

Blanche must have sold it to some other buyer than Danny. I've been trying to figure out how a cabbie can afford to rent a row townhouse but then Jamie did get £5000 from Mike's will so I assume he's been living on that.

That makes two homes where their future is in question: the former Baldwin home and Charlie and Tracy's.

Debbie said...

Jacqueline is always drinking Vodka as she reads these. Although, it isn't always Polish.

I submit that Sonny isn't as gay as Tom Cruise. He is as gay as Colin Ferrel.

I think my favourite part of this update is: "Sean denies and he and Sonny have sex ON eachother" HAHAHA!!!

John said...

Debbie -

Colin Farrell does dudes? Or just anything that moves?

I was looking for a photo famous bisexual man but couldn't think of any so I settled for Tom Cruise.

Debbie said...

Colin Ferrell does aything that moves. He has been known to do dudes. Although, that may be my wishful thinking. Like, in my brain Clive Owen, Colin Ferrel and I are really close friends. We just understand each other.

In all fairness, I think he is just a man whore. Like, the kind of guy who would follow you into a bar bathroom.

Anonymous said...

Pip,

Yeah. I was mocking myself, and my own personal horrifying memory of finding that out.

When Wayne's World came out, MTV played a video of Bohemian Rhapsody which was a mix of Wayne, Garth and buds rocking out, along with some old footage from the 70s, featuring Freddie on stage in a satin jumpsuit, and he was... I don't know the best verb to describe it... sashaying or prancing kind of fit, but not really.

I'm in college, watching this in a roomful of semi-drunk students, and I burst out with "Omigawd, he was GAY!!!!!"

Which everyone else thought was extremely funny. Apparently I was the only one who didn't get that memo. The snarky comment that sticks in my head and plays itself back whenever I do something terminally uncool (so, about twice a week) was "Well, the band was called QUEEN. What did you think that meant?" To which I was actually idiotic enough to make the situation worse by saying, Well, they are English. I thought it was because England has a queen."

I never lived that down, and I'm still a little mortified by the memory. (sob)

Michigander Fan

Jacqueline said...

I thought Freddy Mercury was a little bit Bi. He had a long term relationship with some girl, non?

Anonymous said...

John also said: Claire's still way too personally involved with Casey, the woman in crisis.

MF thinks: Hmmm. Women in crisis?

Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction
Kathy Bates in Misery
Sharon Stone in Casino
Anthony Perkins in Psycho

Maybe I'm overly suspicious, but I don't think this is going to end well.

MF

pip said...

LOL, MF. I was a not-so-young but very naive teenager when the Village People became popular. Took me ages to realize they were gay.

'Man whore', I love that term. In my more cynical moments I view it as a bit redundant.

Anonymous said...

Jacqueline,

I believe you are correct, and Freddie was actually bi. A guy I used to date who had an encyclopedic knowledge of all things rock and/or roll told me that. I believe him. He could tell you how many guitars Jimi Hendrix went through at Woodstock.

The PTSD is more related to my naivete being exposed in a roomful of drunken 20 year olds, not shock at a gay (or bi) rocker. I can see the video in my head, and hear myself saying it, over and over. The horror!

MF

Whitehorse Fan said...

I always thought that Freddie Mercury was bi in an Elton John kinda way, which is that they announced themselves bi because it was better than being gay.

I suppose David Bowie could have been pictured instead of Tom Cruise, but did he ever marry? and he is far too amazing to be compared to Sonny.

And how about this for mortifying: I was out of the closet and working at a centre for gay, lesbian and bisexual youth when the coordinator had to tell me that YMCA wasn't really about young men getting a good meal.

John said...

David Bowie married to Iman, a former model. Prior to that, he allegedly messed around with Mick Jagger. Bowie's reinvented himself so many times who knows what he calls himself these days.

Jacqueline said...

I think he was pretty deeply involved with her even though they split up...e.g. she was at his deathbed and I think he wrote that 'You're my best friend' song for her.

Mind you, I'm just remembering all this from some 3 am 'Freddie Mercury: The Tears Behind the Clown' shit documentary I watched.

Okay, let me transport you back to Vancouver circa 1979 - 1980. A pre-teen Glacia went to see the Village People play at Pacific Collaseum with her BFF.

We hadn't a clue. Seriously.

We're just so thrilled to be at a concert with so many HOT men. (Hmmm, maybe we'll get our first boyfriends here.)

Long story short, it was a standing room only of 13,000,000 very large men. Fearing that we may be crushed, 5 men near us, form a protective barrier around us.

We interpert this as meaning that they are totally into us.

I think they even walked us to the parking lot where my dad was waiting to drive us home.

I kind of feel bad for them now. Here they were trying to go out, have some fun and they ended up babysitting two blue eyeshowed, feathered haired girls.

Anonymous said...

And how about this for mortifying: I was out of the closet and working at a centre for gay, lesbian and bisexual youth when the coordinator had to tell me that YMCA wasn't really about young men getting a good meal."

That is too funny!

-missusmac

Anonymous said...

Okay. I feel MUCH better about my mortifying college experience now!

What did you guys think about Liberace?

MF

Anonymous said...

OH! I forgot to say. The Simpsons rerun yesterday was a storyline about Marge babysitting for Rod & Todd Flanders, so Ned-diddley-ed could go to a "Left Handers" convention (remember he runs the Leftorium).

So the sign outside the convention center says "Key note address: Ambidextrous people: Lefties in denial?"

HAHAHA.

Or perhaps you had to be there...

MF

Jacqueline said...

Liberace? Shut up!

What I love about the Liberace story is that he sued a journalist in the UK back in the 50's for suggesting that he was gay. (Of course back in that day his career would have been over, and being gay was a 'custodial offence' in the UK.)

He won the case,so of course he could never come out publically after that.

Meanwhile:

Back in Vegas