Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Back From the Cottage Update
Yes after 10 days of vacay with Mr. Glacia in the glorious wilds of Canada that included a heavy regime of Starsky and Hutch, Joanne Trollope novels, puff cheezies, vodka martinis, cocktails before noon and wildly, madly, drunkenly throwing paint on canvases – I once again ready to sail the good ship Corrie Canuck.
I’ve spent the last two days watching all the past episodes of Corrie and have things to say:
Steve threatened to bring in Fat Brenda to man the phones of streetcars. I have sent my resume and headshots to ITV in the hopes that I can play the coveted role of Fat Brenda. (Am willing to do whatever it takes to achieve the level of ‘fatness’ they require.)
Did someone actually use the term ‘gayasian’ on the show?
My UK sources have informed me that the professional days in the British school system are called ‘Inset days’, not, as I heard, ‘Insect’ days.
Someone asked who the actor was playing the solicitor. I keep wondering myself. She seems a lot like Rebecca Front who plays ‘Cathy’ on ‘Nighty Night’*…but no. If anyone can find out who it is, I’d love to know myself.
I’m waiting for the moment when Karla tries to say something about her business to the Brothers Conner that one of them actually says, ‘Karla, quiet now, men are talking.’.
Finally, I scribbled down a note to remind me of another point to make, but at this time, the words ‘Cow Shop’ mean nothing to me.
On with the update!
Glacia Is Transported Back to the Eighties
(Please note that Deborah Harry kind of looks like a muppet herself in that soft purple one piece.)
David is being extra, extra creepy and smug with the Tracey promise of sex. When he sees her on the street, he holds his index finger and pink to his ear in a mime phone movement and then mouthed the words, ‘Call me.’. Where did a kid of his tender years learn these Richard Grieco ’21 Jump Street’ moves?
He then swaggers down the street.
Tracey spends most of the episode looking a bit green around the gills and no one in the Barlow household can figure out why she isn’t more pleased about the turn of events.
Late at night she receives a call on her cell from ….wait for it….’Devil Boy’. Oh he’s just calling to tell her good night. Glacia shudders.
Somewhere Between 30 and 80
Norris, is planning a surprise birthday party for Rita, the trouble is he has no idea how old she is, other than it’s somewhere between 30 and 80. Norris also worries that she isn’t acting her age now that she’s been alley-catting around town and suspects that she’ll be sporting a hoodie soon.
Blanche thinks the idea of a party is ridiculous as birthdays should be mourned. It’s only after Norris leaves the room that Blanche asks Deidre why no one has ever planned a surprise b-day party for her. (BTW – for the record Blanche says that the one time she’s ever been happy was when she was 33 ½.)
Okay kinder, here’s the interactive part of the update. WITHOUT looking it up on the internet, try and guess how old Rita will be as of Feb 15, 2007. Hint: It’s a milestone b-day. Answer tommorow night.
A Black Man, a Gay, a Cockney and Ricky Martin Walk Into a Bar
The lads' night out is getting underway and Lloyd, Sean, Jamie and Steve start off with a few drinks at the Rovers.
When Tracey comments on how lame they all look, Lloyd says that they are the height of cool because you have a black man, a gay, a cockney and Ricky Martin in the group. Ricky Martin being Steve, which was more than generous I think.
At the bar, Sean is looking a bit bored for the lack of men he can chat up. But have no fear because Sonny is here. Yep, Sonny is at the same bar and when Sean runs into him, he tells him that he is there with clients. It doesn’t take long before the two of them are outside the bar and Sonny goes in for a kiss! Sean doesn’t bother with any of that, ‘But wait, aren’t you dating Michelle and didn't you say that you and I are through’ nonsense.
Sean is missed at the bar with the other three realize it’s his turn for a round. Steve goes out and sees our favorite seamstress/bartender snogging with some other bloke. Steve’s look is …pardon the expression….fucking priceless and I wasn’t sure if he knew it was Sonny or not because Sonny’s back was turned.
Turns out he didn’t know because when Sean comes back inside, they are teasing him about picking up guys so easily. Sean explains that it’s easy because men are basically sluts.
The Super Friends Four decide to hit another bar and as they stagger out of the nightclub, Steve sees Sonny get into a cab and ….pardon the expression…gives a fucking hilarious giggle. Oh he’s got so much on Sonny now.
Meanwhile, in the background, it seems like there’s a few Habs fans in the back celebrating with the usual breaking of glass and smashing of cars.
As the Ant Hill Turns
Kirk-eh has borrowed Fizz’s scooter and indeed smashed it. When he can’t get it repaired at the shop, Tyrone tells him to buy her something nice to apologize.
Come on! Even for Kirk-eh this is lame and stupid.
Fizz of course doesn’t love it. Her mates join her at the Rovers and they begin to discuss what to do with the ant farm. Sally says that she needs to tell him she doesn’t like it or else she’ll be getting rubbish gifts for the rest of her life. (Glacia kind of agrees with Sally on that point…harsh though it may be.)
Haley starts to ponder the metaphor of the ants striving to work but not really getting anywhere. Kelly looks like she’s in pain.
In the end, Fizz decides to tell Kirk-eh that she loves it….and I guess that’s just the way those two operate.
Calling Adam Smith
Poor Karla has realized that she gave a wrong quote for the selling price of the garments and really the only way she can still sell them is if she gets her workers to do it for 2 pounds less than she’s paying them.
She’s forced to ask Kelly if she’d be willing to go for it, but of course Kelly tells her to jump in the lake. I suspect Becky will be getting her job back.
BTW – this is what I would do. Make a deal with your workers…if they agree to take the wage cut in order to get out the orders you have promised, then you will pay them extra or give them some kind of bonus on the next order that you take at an appropriate price (or maybe just a wee bit over if you can still sell them at that price). Or course you’d have to make a big god damn promise….or offer them shares.
In Other News
Tyrone has acquired a metal dectector from a customer at the garage. Glacia yawns and says, ‘So. What.’
Amber-man is hassling Molly but Molly is holding her own.
*I freaking love Nighty Night