Friday, October 19, 2007

The 'Oh Good Hysteric Bitchy Deidre and Judgemental Gail All In One Wonderful Episode' Update

fiz patch

Before I start the update two things.

Best Line of the Episode
Liam asks Paul about Fiz and when Paul can't remember who she is, Liam says, 'You know Cabbage Patch Kid, red hair.'

Solid Gold!

I Call Bullshit
Peter sees Maria in the Rovers and says, 'Excuse me have we met before?'


Maria's been on the street since 2000 and the last time Peter was on the show was around 2003. Granted they wouldn't be in the same social circles but seeing how everyone knows everyone else' business I truly cannot believe that he's never seen her before.

She would have been legal drinking age before he left, so you're telling me they've never seen each other in the pub during that time? It's the kind of thing that makes me want to watch every single episode from 2000 on and find that moment when they talk, take that clip and send it to the writers accompanied by this recent interaction and a letter that merely says, 'bullshit.'.

In Which Glacia Pities Ken
So Tracey is in that special place right now that makes me despise her. It's that special place she goes to every so often that makes me despise her, but makes me despise Deidre much, much more. I spent most of the episode screaming at the telly and the walking glasses that accompanies Deidre and her weather beaten chest with its Pringle chips texture.

Ken and D go to visit Tracey in the slammer, happy that Tracey is on a up note despite her situation. This quickly falls away when a sullen face Tracey comes into the room.

Turns out that because her council is legal aid, she cannot just dump 'Rumpled of the Bailey' (love that line) without approval from the judge. Ken thinks this is for the best as he believes in the lawyer's ability to give Tracey the best defense possible.

Tracey says that is nonsense and basically demands that they spend the 'measly' few quid it would take to pay for a lawyer until the judge can approve her choice of a legal aid attorney.

When Ken says that he won't pay for a lawyer, Tracey suggests that he and Deidre use that money to take a nice vacation together. Ken looks at her and says, 'You really can't help it, can you?' (Second best line of the episode.).

Deidre of course, readily agrees with Tracey and back at home the family has a big argument about which course of action to take. On one side, Deidre, Blanche and Adam (who is unwilling to use his own money, btw) who think they should pay for an attorney and on the other Ken and Peter who are using such daft resources such as logic to conclude that it's better to wait it out for the judge's decision.

As Ken so rightfully points out, they'll waste their financial resources on a lawyer and will mostly likely lose access to legal aid altogether if they start paying for a lawyer. By the time the judge makes a decision, their financial resources will be drained and then Tracey will be stuck without any counsel.

Deidre and Blanche think he's being completely heartless for not spending money on Tracey's defense and Blanche accuses Ken of being a wet liberal who's gone conservative. She offers her own money for Tracey's defense and with that she, Deidre and Adam storm off the Rovers.

Peter goes over a bit later to talk to them, but they are determined to do what they think is right. Finally Ken comes over and says that if they are so set on this course of action, he will find the money help Tracey. He then makes it clear to Blanche that it is a moral issue for him that he pays for it, 'My daughter, my money.'.

Sometimes I really feel bad for in the hell did he get stuck with these people?

While Ken is alone in the house, Claire comes by with some petition news. Ken listens to her, but then tells her that they are having some additional issues right now and that he'll have to deal with the petition later. Claire gets offended by this saying that this the thanks she gets for trying to help.

Oh, Claire, if you only knew how much Tracey appreciates your friendship. Back in the big house, when Ken tells Tracey that Claire wants to visit, she tells him that she can't be bothered with her. Ken reminds her not to abuse those people who are on her side. She couldn't give a rat's ass.

There's more grief in store for Claire when she approaches Maria to sign the petition for Tracey's defense. Maria tells her in no uncertain terms that she thinks Tracey is a bigger monster than Charlie ever was and that she stuff her petition.

235 Enemies and Counting
News is out that Bill is moving in with Audrey and while the Websters seem nonplus about the whole thing, Gayle has decided to get on her moral high horse about it. She thinks that it's a disgrace that Audrey is letting him shack up with her.

She doesn't, however, think it's a disgrace to publicly deride her mother on the street when she sees Bill loading his luggage into the boot of Audrey's car. Bill goes over and has a chat with Gayle, which seems to calm her down.

Later when Audrey enters the pub, Blanche takes that opportunity to call her a hussy. Peter wonders if the Barlows don't have enough enemies already. Gayle, in a surprising mood, sticks up for Audrey and puts Blanche in her place.

Night Moves
Paul and Liam decide that Karla has to stop using the factory to manufacture her line of overalls and sit her down in the Rovers to break the news. Karla listens and then tells them what's really going to happen.

She tells them that the factory should be open in the evenings for a graveyard shift that can manufacture her line of clothes. That way she's not infringing on knicker producing resources during the day. I didn't catch if she was suggesting hiring more staff, but I think that's a given.

I'm not hating Karla as much as I did initially, and I especially like her dog collar necklace.

Less Becomes Creepier and Creepier
Less is out in the back of the house putting up laundry when Kirk comes to speak to him. He does a rant about how he's already lost his wife and he's not about to lose 'the lad' too. He asks Kirk, 'Is this the look of a bad father'?

Oh jesus, well, let's see, you're filthy and that ginger haired facial growth is probably littered with bits of scrambled eggs and toast and your breath probably smells like Milwaukee....but yeah, Robert Young, you look like a perfectly fit father.

Later, Less approaches Chesney on the street and asks him to come over to the house to re-wallpaper the walls for when Cilla comes back. (Glacia cheers at the prospect of that water damaged crap that is currently on the wall being removed from her view forever.). Chesney makes a comment about needing food and time for homework, but Less tries to tempt him with a dvd and having some laughs like they used to. Besides, Less asks, when did Chesney ever care about homework. Ches tells Less that he's trying to improve himself and makes note of the 6 pack of beer in Less's hands.

Me thinks that Chesney is outgrowing Les.

Later, Fizz goes over to give Less a lecture and tells him that she thinks he's a rubbish dad and that she's willing to tell him that even if Chesney won't.


In Other News
Peter Hits On Maria
I'm kind of getting sick of these May/December romances, that's all I got to say about it.

Cone of Silence
David sulks in his car with the music and annoys the neighbours.

Bethany Watch
Wrapped up tightly in snow hoodie and scarf with only two eyes peering out, Glacia wonders if Bethany has converted to orthodox Islam.


Anonymous said...

Was thinking exactly the same regarding Peter and Maria, even if they were never in the pub together she would remember the huge scandal on the street when it hit the fan about Ken's son Peter being married to two women at the same time.

The Cabbage Patch doll line was the funniest thing since Danny left, reminding me no one calls her Fuzz anymore. I miss Danny.


S. Poole

Anonymous said...

It was a super episode. Had me totally forgetting I had children at one point. (Yes, just call me Tracey!)

I loved Liam's Cabbage Patch line. I love Liam. Which leads me to wonder why he isn't leaving the street and marrying me? (Right, he's fictional, I'm already married... details, details.)

I'm unsure of Peter and Maria as well. Surely Maria, albeit a much less glam Maria, was Ty's girlfriend back then? He may not have noticed her, but he should know at least vaguely who she is.

Loved the Pringles chip texture line in reference to Deirdre as well. I'm glad Peter's back so Ken has some support.


pip said...

I miss Danny, too.

And, oh, how I loathe Tracy. It really is completely, absolutely, totally and infinitely all about her, isn't it. She just had to get her revenge on Charlie for sleeping with Maria and now her parents are going to have to pauper themselves to get her off with her bogus self-defence charge. I haven't seen any spoilers on this, so I don't know whether she gets off or not. All I can say is, Amy is better off without her.

I don't think there's going to be a funeral for Charlie, is there? How long has it been since he died?

Jacqueline said...

Which leads me to wonder why he isn't leaving the street and marrying me? (Right, he's fictional, I'm already married... details, details.)

I used to wonder the same about David Starksy.

How long has it been since he died?
Well, I don't know if he's going to have a funeral, but I think we can rule out any possibility of Charlie being Jewish.

kunzie said...

"So Tracey is in that special place right now that makes me despise her. It's that special place she goes to every so often that makes me despise her, but makes me despise Deidre much, much more."

Bang on, Glacia. Far before Charlie, Tracy showed herself to be an amoral sociopath and a sadist. I SO cannot stand her..the evil egomaniac. This DNA is probably just starting to ferment within little's always the quiet ones, eh? It starts with pulling heads off Barbies...

I also miss Danny like crazy. Peter hitting on Maria: It is now imperative that every new male character under 60 Hit on Maria. Since they can no longer Hit on Frankie. At least Maria doesn't look like she's sucking a mouthful of sour apple candy.

Debbie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Debbie said...

Tracy is a special person and Deirdrie is totally irrational.

Ken is frustrating because he can be very inactive, but it is like he is the only one with functioning brain cells.

pip said...

I agree that Ken is very frustrating. He has no backbone. All Dierdre has to do is moan and wail and he gives to her in against his better judgment. All Tracy has to do is moan and wail and get her mother to moan and wail and he gives in to her against his better judgment.

It's not hard to see how Tracy turned out the way she has, with a mother who believes that 'unconditional love' equals 'unconditional acceptance of your behavior no matter how frightfully awful it has been', and a father who is whipped.

Jacqueline said...

I still maintain that they are reaping what they sewed. As far as I'm concerned they were shit parents from the get go.

Whitehorse Fan said...

I kept thinking that Ken should just book an appointment to go to a lawyer, and then have her tell them how much the whole thing will cost. I doubt Deirdre has the faintest clue what a lawyer, especially one with a reputation, costs.

And I too, was hoping he would put his foot down.

I wonder if the truth will come out. And if it does, what will Deirdre do then?

Whitehorse Fan said...

And once again, Jacqueline, you captured the episode perfectly. Your title really just said it all, didn't it?

pip said...

If the truth comes out Dierdre will weep and wail at Tracy 'how could you', and to Ken 'oh, Ken you were right!' Then she will go out back to have a cigarette because her voice isn't quite as deep as she would like it to be.

Anonymous said...

Awwww, Jacqueline, as David used to sing "don't give up on us, baby".

Yes, I watched the show too, but had a thing for Paul Michael Glaser instead.


Jacqueline said...

oh you made the classic mistake!!!

PMG WAS Starsky.

My very first crush and I'm still madly in love with him - even though he's pushing 70.

Anonymous said...


Well, what you need to do it keep notebooks of every episode. Then you can file them for easy reference.

We should discuss the filing system: chronological would be the obvious choice, but I think you ought to perhaps subdivide by plotline...

Then, when things like Peter & Maria come up, you can flip through your notebooks, find the reference information, run down to Kinko's and copy it, and send it to the Corrie writers...


Michigander Fan

Anonymous said...

Hand to God, ladies... sunbathing too much will turn your chest into Deirdre's! Remember that next summer when you are trying to decide between the golden tan you want and the SPF 50 crap you're supposed to use. Close your eyes, and think of Deirdre!

Seriously, the reason I never contemplated smoking, ever, was listening to my Grandma's horrid hacking cough (I call it the "black phlegm" cough), from eons of smoking. I thought, wow, that's the most unattractive thing I can think of. Yuck!

So I never started. (Adjusts halo.)


Anonymous said...

Now, onto the actual content of the show:

Fizz is right. Less isn't more, Les is Less.

Ken is right. Isn't he retired? If they lose their house, they're in deep doodoo, since they have, what? like 6 people living there... well, that's assuming Tracy beats the rap. God knows she hasn't got a brass farthing of her own.

Tracy is a self-obsessed you know what with delusions of grandeur (well, it sounds right!). Deirdre is a horribly co-dependent person.

Claire has crossed the line from good neighbor to "Kathy Bates in Misery."

Bill & Audrey. Meh. Gail. Meh. David. Meh.


Anonymous said...

Pip said:

It's not hard to see how Tracy turned out the way she has, with a mother who believes that 'unconditional love' equals 'unconditional acceptance of your behavior no matter how frightfully awful it has been', and a father who is whipped.

AMEN!!! You are preaching to the choir!


Anonymous said...

I think I am in the minority here...I hated that comment about Fizz looking like a cabbage patch doll. Coming from that mush mouth Liam....argh...
Sorry I love Fizz!

Well I guess old Charlie got one is mentioning a funeral or disposal of the deceased...Too weird!


Jacqueline said...

Glacia reaches into her handbag, pulls out her B&H. She lights one long ciggy, inhales, holds it for a second, exhales and asks,'You need some halo polish, MF?'

Glacia (who actually isn't smoking anymore.)

Anonymous said...


Good for you!

I'm a former sun worshipper, so I can relate. Every year, I stand in the Sun aisle, looking wistfully at the Hawaaian Tropic... trying to remember that sunbaked skin looks like badly cared for leather... but still sighing longingly...

It just ISN'T FAIR!


Anonymous said...

Pip, I agree completely with all of your comments. I can see why Tracey is the way she is with Deidre for a mother. I think Amy will be far better off being raised by Steve. I so wanted to slap Deidre for the way she was behaving, has she no clue about their finances? She is really coming across as not being too bright.