Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Bye Bye Charlie Update
Well, That Answered That
Who would show up to Charlie’s funeral….Jason, Maria, David, Sarah a few drinking mates and oh yeah…his killer. I honestly thought there would be a few more people from the street as these events (i.e. Bridcilla and Less’s fake wedding) tend to bring folks out – if not for curiosity sake. I’m surprised that the Croppers weren’t there.
But let’s take it from the top.
We see Deidre in the Barlows back yard moaning and sobbing about how she won’t wear black that that monster’s funeral. (yeah, whatever, we get it…he’s a MONSTER.). Ken tells her that they will have to be calm and collected for Tracey’s sake.
Meanwhile over at Stornaway, I mean, Strangeways – one of the screws* checks in on Tracey to see if she needs some sedative before going to the funeral. Tracey does her doe-eyed look and says no that she’d rather have a clear head.
Andrea Palmer asks why she’s bothering to go to the bastard’s funeral and Tracey says, ‘My lawyer says it’s good if I show remorse.’. (Oh Tracey, Tracey, Tracey, Tracey….). Andrea, just keeps reeling her in by saying that the jury won’t fall for the unstable abused wife act and Tracey retorts, ‘They haven’t seen mine.’ (Okay, now you're just being foolish.).
Back on the street, Fiz asks Maria if she is sure that she wants to go the funeral and Maria says yes because she did love him once and that she needs this. This I think explains some of Maria’s behaviour – I think she’s really just looking for closure of some sort and that understandable. Later she looks wistfully at Charlie’s work yard as David comes up to give her 'support' and tells her that they are ready to go over to the funeral with Jason and Sarah.
At the funeral home, Jason notices how completely empty the room is save themselves and a gang of Charlie mates. Then the Barlows show up and a mumbling ensues about why they are there. Tracey makes her entrance and I think she breaks the sound barrier with the speed in which her face went from smiles to 'distressed widow' sad face.
Jason, worried that Charlie is going to go to his eternal resting place without any kind of eugoogly, stands up and says a few words about Charlie being a good mate, good for a few laughs (Sorry? What? When, WHEN the HELL was Charlie ever funny?), and he taught Jason a lot of things.
At this point Ken makes an aside, ‘I hope he didn’t teach him everthing he knows.’. Now, Glacia isn’t a hugely superstitious person, but really, heckling during a funeral is really asking for some bad ass karma as far as I’m concerned.
Then the big red drapes close and Glacia giggles when she thinks of the old Dave Allen skit where after the drapes close, the casket comes back out for a encore performance. I tried to find the skit on youtube, but will have to make do with this one.
Maria is overwhelmed by it all, breaks down in tears** and runs out of the funeral, but not before saying to Tracey, ‘I hope you’re happy now!’. Tracey screams back, ‘Happy? This is all your fault you evil little cow!’. David follows her outside to give her support, but can’t understand why she’s crying over Charlie.
Everyone else leaves the funeral and as Tracey is being hauled off in the prison van, one of Charlie’s friend calls her a ‘murdering bitch’. Oh SNAP!
Oh yeah, there’s more crap Deidre crying.
David continues to give Maria 'support' and they head over to the café. When Maria continues to be sad about Charlie, David says, ‘Oh god, you’re not still going on about THAT are you?’. David, David, David…when you offer 'support' to someone, that means you have to listen to them go on and on and on and on about their ‘issue’ until your eyes glaze over, and your neck hurts from nodding. This whining and complaining may go on well past 23 minutes after funeral.
Even later, on the Maxine Peacock death bench, Maria contemplates moving from Weatherfield. David wisely decides to seduce her into staying by going in for a kiss. Maria, creeped out this move, jumps up and calls him a kid, a freak, and tells him that this moment is NOT all about him and his agenda and that he needs to stay the hell away from her.
*I’ve been waiting soooooooo long to say ‘screw’ on Corrie Canuck
** Marie could give Deidre crying lessons. I just noticed that Maria cries differently from Deidre, she does it all, kind of, good.
Jamie Oliver Takes On Weatherfield
The Battersby’s discuss over the breakfast table about Chez’s flight to Fizz. Cilla is convinced that he will be back shortly once he realizes that Fizz can’t give him what he needs.
Less thinks that Chez is trying to teach them all a lesson. My god, Less, do you think there’s anything possibly wrong with the fact that you think a 12 year old needs to teach you a lesson?
Over at Fizz’s Swinging Peroxide Scented Pad, she is getting all Canadian Living by cooking a good healthy dinner as suggested by a pamphlet from Chez’s school. That blond celebrity chef has obviously been around.
I Treasure You People
Becky shows up late for work and Haley and Roy notice that she is not wearing a jacket. When they ask, she tells them that someone from the hostel stole her best (aka 'only') jacket. They wonder if it wouldn’t be better for her if she got a flat no that she’s earning some cash. The age old problem of getting first and last month’s rent seems to be her obstacle.
After some discussion, Haley and Roy tell Becky that they are going to clean out some items from their flat and have a carboot sale. All the money from that sale will go to Becky’s first/last month rent fund.
She is overwhelmed that they would do that for her and a Mary Tyler Moore type group hug ensues.
Screw It, I Think I Actually Dig Her
It’s Paul and Karla’s 8th anniversary and he has something special planned for the evening…that is until he finds out that Liam is going to business meeting that night. Paul is too worried that younger brother will be taken advantage of, so he throws off the anniversary date in order to accompany Liam to the meeting.
Karla, consoles herself with a drink at the Rovers, where Michelle comes in looking very, very glam for her date with Sonny*** that evening.
Karla asks Steve if he would consider buying a lonely married woman a drink and Steve replies, ‘No offense, but you terrify me.’ (Bling, bling, Karla’s got Glacia points.)
Later, when some one asks her what she’s doing at the bar, she replies, ‘Just living the dream’. (Bling, bling, bling - double Glacia points.)
Please note, the current on Glacia to Debbie points exchange rate is 1.43.
In Other News
Kelly likes Liam, Liam fancies Joanne
Steve won’t stop pursuing Michelle.
***Glacia wonders if Sonny’s downfall is that he never says more than one sentence at a time. Maybe he’s just got a dull as dishwater personality which he covers up with flashy cars and a fleet of polo ponies.