Thursday, September 20, 2007

Update - September 19 - Do They Know It's Christmas?

Well, it's Christmas Day on Coronation Street and there isn't much to report. The Platts and the Websters sat down together for a quiet dinner. The Grimshaws ate chocolate and watched videos and The Macdonalds served drinks down at the pub. Everyone was in good cheer and listened intently to Ken Barlow, who paused to remember those they lost this year before reminding everyone listening to embrace their families and friends and live with the true spirit of Christmas in their hearts every day of the year.

Ken then turned to the camera, raised a glass, and said, "From all of us at Coronation Street, may you have the happiest of Christmases and the very best in the new year."


What are you kidding me? It's Coronation Street. As if the day is going to pass quietly. They must come to dread the holidays by now.

Let's begin, shall we?

What Child Is This?

It's Christmas morning, or as David Platt calls it, "Birthmas." She gives Bethany her present, which Sarah says Bethany loved. David mentions that he was going to get her a new voicebox. Sarah takes offense and says she's just contented.

"Sarah," David says, "Trappist monks think she's quiet." He then adds that it would be really lame if someone gave him racing gloves to go with his beater in the driveway. Sarah looks down at her present, looking guilty.

David hands Gail her gift. It looks like Ivy Tilsley's diary. When she opens it, it's just a novel. The title was "Mourning Dakota" but I was hoping it would be "Hard Grinding" by Mel Hutchwright.

Later, Sally and Kevin are there and she and Gail are trying to determine if the chicken is cooked. David asks if Gail ever thought about having him induced early when she was carrying him.

"Of course not," says Gail.

"Do you remember the day or were you all fuzzed out on pills?" he then asks.

"I remember it very well and your father and I were very happy."

Bill and Audrey arrive and Bill wishes a happy Christmas to all and sundry. Audrey wishes David a happy birthday and hands him a present. David tells his grandmother she smells very nice.

"Oh, thank you David." she replies.

"Gin and tonic, ain't it?" he asks.

Later, Gail, Bill, Audrey, Sally, Kevin, David, Sarah-Lou, Bethany, Rosie, and Sophie are all wearing paper hats and tucking into their Christmas meal. Everyone is laughing, even as it's scandalously revealed that Sally's attempt to make a pudding went pear-shaped and she ended up buying one from a store after all. David gives Gail a new present, asking her to open it right there. She does, and finds it's an old book.

"It's Ivy Tilsley's diary," David says, prompting an exchange of looks between Rosie and Sophie.

"I didn't know she could write," Kevin jokes.

David pushes the issue and tells his mother that there's good reading in there and she should read it right now. Sensing her son has a point to make, she quietly refuses and says she'll read it later.

David pulls it from her, point out all the things she's written like Ida Clough's body odour and Vera's nasty coats. Everyone is laughing along and David then reads the following passage:

"I honestly do not know how the Good Lord has seen me through today's trial. Gail went for an abortion. If it weren't for Martin Platt, that innocent little child inside her would be dead now"

The table goes silent. David asks Gail if she remembers the date when she went to abort him. Then he asks if anyone wants more sprouts.

Sarah asks why David treats his mum this way and calls him a headcase, before excusing herself from the table. Gail tells David that he was wanted as he is here now. Sally and Audrey try to change the subject by talking about how well the chicken turned out.

Audrey and Bill ask David why he has to do that to his mum when she is doing the best she can. Kevin says he remembers "Poison Ivy" and doesn't think it happened the way she wrote it. Everyone seemed happy to him. Rosie calls David a loser and Audrey agrees, saying that he brings this stuff on himself.

Sally announces that the rum pudding will be ready in ten minutes. Bill says he's looking forward to it as they don't get pudding like that in Germany. (Ah, but it's the Land of Chocolate).

Wow. I don't think this day can get any worse.

The doorbell rings. Gail goes to see who's there and it's ... Maureen. You know, Maureen Webster. Bill's wife. Bill is busy lecturing David on his value when Maureen comes in, yelling "Surprise!" He lets go of Audrey's hand as Maureen drops herself on his lap, telling him how much she missed him.

Maureen asks about some of the old crowd, like ex-husband Fred (dead) and Martin Platt (divorced Gail, had an affair with a minor, moved to Liverpool). David is thoroughly enjoying seeing the adults squirm like this.

Bill then announces he needs to stretch his legs. He is quickly followed by Kevin, then Sally.

When they're outside, Kevin asks, "So, Baldric. What's the cunning plan?" Bill tells Kevin to pretend he has an emergency call. Bill will go with Kevin so he can fetch his things at Audrey's.

They go back inside and begin enacting their Christmas panto when David starts doing the slow clap.

"Oscars all around!" he says.

Maureen asks what he means. He tells her that Bill has been a dirty dog. He then asks Bill whee will he sleep tonight? Kevin's? Or Maureen's? He then lights the rum-soaked dumpling. Maureen jumps up, knocking it over onto the floor. Everyone scrambles to put it out.

Best! Christmas! Ever!

Here We Come A-Wassailing

Sean brings giant chocolate bars to the Grimshaws where they settle in for their own Christmas day. He and Violet call a Christmas truce.

The Barlows are going for Christmas dinner with the seniors. Tracy seems to be missing.

Steve is supposed to be with Amy today but Liz and Fern keep retiring upstairs to have sex watch the Queen's message. So Steve has to watch the bar, leaving Betty to look after Amy.

Claire got her dangling earring caught in her scarf.


Debbie said...

That was a great opening for a great episode. I loved Rosie and Sophie's reaction to the whole thing. Then when it really went off the rails, I loved that Rosie started doing Sophie's hair. It is a great way for them to comfort each other when the whole day has gone the way of Sally's stuffing.

It was interesting to me that while this was going on, Audrey called David a loser. poor form, I think. He is a psycho, but, that doesn't help.

Jacqueline said...

David tells his grandmother she smells very nice.

"Oh, thank you David." she replies.

"Gin and tonic, ain't it?" he asks.

Glacia is now taking notes for her retirement.

westcoast fan said...

Yes, loved the intro to the summary!

Wow, Sophie's little psychic hotline storyline has taken a rather psyhco turn. David is evil, evil, evil. I half expected Gail to tell him she was beginning to regret Martin had been so persuasive all those years ago. Maureen's sudden arrival did make it crystal clear though how poorly all the adults have been behaving as well.

I don't think Bethany was there for Christmas dinner. She was worn out by all the 'hysteria' of the gift opening and had to go down for a nap. Really, why don't they just get a sack of potatoes to play her? David's line about Trappist monks was priceless. Perhaps it was a little nod from the producers to the audience saying 'yes, we know this poor child has no acting ability, bear with us while we find a replacement'.

Whitehorse Fan said...

Mr. WHF suggested that the adults haul David out back so that Charlie could give him a bath.

I guess giving him a car was not a panacea.

Anonymous said...

Eestcoast fan, I completely agree with you concerning Bethany, the child is a terrible actress, that is probably why she is not in the scenes where clearly she should be.
If I were Gail, that car would be taken away as well as all of his other toys, eg. video games, etc. The kid is an insuffurable brat.

Trudy C said...

I'm sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to find out what happened after Claire got her earring caught in her scarf! What a cliffhanger.......... I don't understand why they put that scene in

I can't believe Gail just sat there looking at David after he read the diary. Don't they have woodsheds there?

Anonymous said...

David is an awful turd, isn't he? Although I did enjoy watching it. It was the same kind of thrill I used to get from JR Ewing!

I also loved that the writers winked at us about Bethany. I mean, it's Christmas, and neither she nor Amy had the slightest reaction to presents! Amy's only 2 or 3, but there's no excuse for Beth...

Anyone else notice that David's new haircut is a reject from the Flock of Seagulls? (I just dated myself, didn't I?)

Michigander Fan

westcoast fan said...

MF, were you a Dallas fan too! Ah, those Friday nights. *sigh*

At least on Coronation Street no one wakes up to discover the entire last season has been a dream!

I think the earring scene with Claire was to remind the viewers what a 'normal' Christmas crisis is supposed to look like, in contrast to the atom bomb that has gone off at the Platt residence.

Anonymous said...

...or the scene was to remind us how terribly boring (medicated) Claire is.


Anonymous said...

Ha! Obscure reference of the day -- "Hard Grinding". I loved that plot, especially the guest-star Gandalf.


S. Poole

westcoast fan said...

LOL Skeezix, though I think by the time Claire was chatting over the back fence to Gail and Sally et. al. she'd gotten well into the 'happy' pills or the drink. She was pretty giddy when she said 'I love Christmas, me!' Though I suppose you can be giddy and boring at the same time.

'Hard Grinding' always sounded like a porn novel to me, though that wasn't what it was referring to.

Anonymous said...


Oh yes. Dallas was my inaugural soap. Then came General Hospital. By the time the "Dream Season" came, the show was on life support. But, didn't you LOVE watching JR be rotten! I did. This is why I enjoy Tracy, David, Blanche and even Norris. These are people I would HATE in MY life, but on a TV show they are really fun.

The funny thing about Dallas is that my parents had a limit on how much TV we could watch, but I was allowed to watch whatever I wanted. So I was watching Dallas as a wee sprite!


Anonymous said...

I wasn't sure what to make of the Claire and the dangling earring saga either, except to show that selfish brat Ashley did buy her summat. Perhaps he stole those earrings while in his alter ego, John Roby?!


Anonymous said...

Something has been bothering me lately, namely that the writers have been giving us the impression that Martin has all but abandoned David. I know that a lot of it is simply the stupid comments of a twisted teenager (e.g. "he's moved on to his new, improved family"), but Gail and Sarah never seem to challenge or disagree with these statements.

And given all the troubles with David, it seems really odd that we don't see Gail at least contemplating calling up Martin to discuss the situation (especially since she routinely relied on his advice and assistance with David before he left town). She goes to parenting classes, but she doesn't seek any help from the father?

I know that the actor is gone from the show, but the show refers to other written-off characters all the time. So Martin's mere absence from the street doesn't require the writers to make it as though he never sees or calls his son.

Maybe the writers want to set more of a groundwork for David being such a nasty piece of work (absent father). But that just strikes me as lazy writing (a long-time character suddently acting out of character simply to move ahead a plot line).

It's odd.


westcoast fan said...

I agree, Skeezix. We could at least see David opening a birthmas present from his dad or talking to him on the phone. On the other hand, we don't see Todd phoning his mom Christmas morning, nor Nick calling his. It's like the writers think, 'out of sight, out of mind' or 'let's not clutter up the story with too many old characters'. Heck, one character hasn't even been written out of the plot, he's simply gone missing in action. Where was Adam last night when everyone was visiting Amy and then heading out to eat with the old fogies? I don't think he was even mentioned.

corrierules said...

Loved this episode and loved the update. The Corrie cast does humour so well. Regarding the "David reads Ivy's diary" storyline, I think that was created to push David over to the dark side. Once Gail got him the car, he seemed almost happy; all the anger and hostility had simmered down. Then he reads those fateful words about Gail's almost abortion and all the hurt and anger comes rushing back. He's definitely mad at the world and feels very let down by his parents -- mostly Martin, I think for going off with his "new, improved family." I think he feels very abandoned by his dad (but I'm not excusing any of his actions -- just commenting on where they stem from).
Oh, and I loved Dallas too. JR had the dastardly grin down pat!

Anonymous said...

I think we should start putting Adam's picture on milk cartons. He sold the factory, he's gone...

Maybe he's living in the Barlow dishwasher and only comes out when Amy comes to visit and needs a place to nap?

I loved most of David's lines, but if I were Gail, I'd sleep with my door locked.


Debbie said...

I agree with all the Martin and David comments. It makes no sense and I wondered the same thing. There have been a couple things said to reassure david that martin still cares, but not enough, and Martin did just vanish. Strange because his character never came off like that.

OK, Adam Barlow got totally forgotten about by the writers. But, I think they they never really knew what to do with him. You would think that he and Joanne could really hot it up on the street, but there has been nothing.