Wednesday, August 08, 2007

What, That I Should Do An Update, Already?

Koffee Klatch mit Klaire

Claire goes around to Tracey’s to have the woman’s hour they had arranged earlier – with a small bag of crisps for them to share!!! Charlie is curious why Claire is there and tries to get Tracey to get rid of her. Tracey tells him she can’t so he smirks off to the pub.

Tracey does the weird bonding thing with Claire and Clair reminds her that she once said that if her and Ashley had a baby, it’d have the personality of a frying pan and the voice of tweety. Tracey, after subduing a giggle, apologizes to Clair for being a cow.

Then she talks Claire into getting crazy and having a SECOND cup of tea.

At the risk of sounding unpopular, I really do think I’d rather have a knees up with Tracey rather than Claire. I’d take bitch over dull as dishwater any day.

A Volf Farlirt Zayne Hor, Ober Nit Zayn Natur*
Vern shows up at the Rovers with flowers and some lame ass helium balloon that says ‘Vern + Liz’ as a way of an apology and to win Liz back.

In the big book of ‘What the HELL Do Women Want, Anyway?’ – I’m sure that there’s a chapter about how lame ass helium balloons with a sad eyed teddy bear saying, ‘I Wove You!’ never won a maiden’s heart. If there’s not, there should be.

Rewriting history a bit Vern says how since he left Liz he’s been a destroyed man. Liz and her boobs gently remind him that she kicked him to the curb.

So a little game of persuasion ensues and by the end of the day Vernon is back in Liz’s bed.

On a side note, when Steve comes to close shop at then end of the day, Violet tells him that someone was sick in the Woman’s washroom.

Confession time, that was your Glacia upon envisioning Vern leaping into Liz’s bed wearing only his black socks and fakey cowboy hat.

Er zol vaksn vi a tsibele mit dem kop in drerd**
Jamie notices Frankie heading off to the women’s bathroom in the Rovers, so he just walks right in there.

Dear Corrie writers. STOP. Just stop with the men going into the women’s washroom. It’s seriously creeping me out. You’ve played that card too many times now.

Anyway, he gets in there and kisses Frankie but they have to break it off when Sarah walks in. He hides ina cubicle while Sarah washes salt and vinegar crisp smell off her hands and congratulates Frankie on her engagement to Danny.
What happens next?

Sean and Jamie yak on about the pros and cons of pursuing one’s stepmother. Sean takes the ‘con’ side and they have a bit of an argy bargy. Later, Jamie comes to Sean’s house and apologizes and then says he feels he must go away because his feelings are too strong for Frankie.

Yes, please, please, please..for the love of God…go.

Du kannst nicht auf meinem rucken pishen unt mir sagen class es regen ist.***
Gail does some role play with another volunteer ‘Eddie’ where she pretends he’s David and lets loose this flood of emotions on him. She goes on about how she’s terrified of him and she doesn’t know what to do with him anymore while all the other students nod in support as they’ve all been there.

Then she adds that she realizes she brought a killer into the home…and at that point the other students start to look a bit bewildered and uncooooomfortable.
The knob that’s running the workshop tries to end the roleplay but Gail’s got a LOT to say and continues on.

Later, back at the house she tells Sarah and David how god awful the class is. David assumes that she is going to drop the class, but she tells him that she’s sticking to it until she finds a way of fixing the family.

Kudos to you Gail! I take back everything I’ve ever said about your lack of a chin and chipmunk cheeks. You don’t really look like e.t…..much.

Mit shney ken men nit makhn gomolkhes****
Haley is teaching at the center where Becky is reading out loud but getting bothered by the girl behind her who is kicking her chair. She gives her warning and final starts to bitch slap her around.

Haley breaks it up and sends Becky out of the room. Later, Becky apologizes and Haley accepts the apology. She also recognizes that Becky is trying to control herself.

Back on the street, Roy and Haley are walking on the cobbles when Kelly confronts Haley and calls her a two-faced cow for being friends with Becky. Haley tries to explain that Becky showed up in her class, but Kelly is still steamed.

Me meynt nit di hagode, nor di kneydlekh*****
After hearing that no one wants her to live with them, Bev gets drunk and annoying in the pub. When she starts crying, Norris because a mensch and comforts her and tells her she might need a lie down.
Steve gets slapped…a lot.

*A wolf loses his hair but hot his nature.
**He should grow like an onion with its head in the ground.
***You can't pee on my back and tell me it's rain.
**** You can't make cheesecake out of snow
*****You don't mean the hagode, but the dumpling!


Mayfairgirl said...

I agree, the washroom thing has been done once too often on the show.

Did I miss something or what is Tracey up to with Claire??

The person who plays Becky is hilarious!

Anonymous said...

I think Tracey is trying to get Claire into her confidences by letting little comments slip about Charlie's "abusive" nature. She mentioned before how he would be displeased if she messed up his laundry and dinner. It's part of her larger plan to get back at Charlie for sleeping with Maria by painting a picture of him as an abuser.

papasmurf said...

Such creative use of the German language - gerbonics?

Huzzah for bringing back Vern - a fun character to have around.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I HATE Vern. Sorry, but he's gruesome, gross and a lazy bastard.

For instance, Jack is/was lazy, but you never got the impression he was going to try to grope you as he passed you on the stairs. With Vern, oh yeah, he's gonna try. Run Betty Run!


Anonymous said...

On the other hand, I LOVE Becky. Go figure!


Jacqueline said...

That would be Yiddish, Papa.

Rob Swizzle said...

Tracey and Claire plus Hayley and Becky in one episode was an overdose of conversations between well-meaning saddos and total psychos. I was cringing the whole episode.

Rob Swizzle said...

Iliked when Violet explained the sick-up in the bathroom as the reslut of someone trying to eat the potpourri.

Westcoast fan said...

missusmac, I'm with you. Vern gives me the creeps. Those eyes of his! I don't know how Vern had the nerve to show his face in the Rovers with Michelle still working there. Poor Steve, having to listen to his mother go at it with Vern upstairs. That's gonna scar him for life.

Anonymous said...

I think Vernon just showed up because he caught wind that his ex-old lady now owns a pub, which is totally better than having her around to carry his drum kit.

papasmurf said...

What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?


Vernon is creepy for sure, but still a fun character on the show.

Jacqueline said...

What's the difference between a drummer and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of four.

Debbie said...

I agree, You really don't mean the hagode, but the dumpling!

i have to tell you that the scene with Gail yelling at that dude about Richard Hillman was one of my favourite scenes from last year. I think the writers were having a bit of fun here.

Debbie said...

"For instance, Jack is/was lazy, but you never got the impression he was going to try to grope you as he passed you on the stairs."

Sorry, Missusmac. I have to disagree. Jack was a bit of a Jack-the-lad in his day. He tried it on with a few ladies, once leading to a loud/hilarious confrontation with a young and sassy Vera in the Rovers.

Vern, however, is kinda gross.

Debbie said...

Also Jack did put out a video dating ad under the name Vince St. Clair. Vera found him out because she was also doing video dating under the name Carole Munroe.

This was what actually lead to the confrontation in the Rovers.

Don't forget, he also had an affair with Bet Lynch and with one of the ladies on his window washing route.

Jacqueline said...

Debbie you hear me, 'The dumpling' I'm just saying.'

Jacqueline said...

I say bring back Jim in a drunken rage!

I have to say, if Jim came back with a big can of whoop ass for Vern - I'd record it and watch it again and again and again.

Rob Swizzle said...

Jim paroled and chock full of punching goodness? That would be great!

Anonymous said...

Oh I agree Debbie, Jack was Jack the lad but the affairs seemed mutual. (A la Charlie, but without the good looking man part.)And he wasn't as, well, greasy as Vern. There must be a better word than greasy?! Slimey, maybe?

Jack would give it a go, and if told off, would probably back off.(I think.) Vern would just keep trying and trying and trying. Blech!

Vern, the Energizer Bunny of greaseballs...

I'd like to see Jim come home, I would.

And Rob Swizzle, great line!: "Tracey and Claire plus Hayley and Becky in one episode was an overdose of conversations between well-meaning saddos and total psychos."


corrierules said...

Mazel Tov Jaqueline for excellent and strategic use of Yiddish expressions!

Here's one for the slimy and despicable Charlie : In his next life he should come back as a chandelier -- hanging by day and burning by night!

Jacqueline said...

LMAO - Ty Corrierules.

I even made up a Yiddish word today.

I told my dog Mitzi that she had a schmooky face.