Monday, July 23, 2007

Update for Episode # 6413 July 23, 2007

Charlie gets some inspiration of what to do with David in the tub.

David and Goliath

Young Platt and the resident builder meet on the street. Charlie tells his young nemesis that he is 'dead meat' and can hardly wait for the time when it is only 'you, me and my steel capped boots.' Sounds like my old highschool days. Anywho, after this little pissing contest Tracey comes out of the house and walks up to Charlie. David, seemingly unfazed by the earlier conversation, asks her 'Alright? Who did your hair, my Gran or (long dramatic pause) Maria? Tracey looks confused, Charlie looks pensive, David looks smarmy.

David goes to The Salon and whinges to Maria about how Charlie is using her, and how he is never going to leave Tracey for Maria. Maria defends what she and Charlie are doing, saying 'me and Charlie are playing the long game.'*

A while later Charlie and Maria are having a chat about their future. Again. This of course gets them in the mood for a little horizontal limbo. We next see Charlie pulling on his boots (like Captain Kirk after he had shagged some hot alien babe) when he tells Maria to 'get me (Sir) Bob Geldof on the phone.' Maria wonders why, to which Charlie replies 'what's not to like about Mondays?'** (I'm guessing it's a Monday in the Coronation Street timeline) Charlie and his bit on the side then have a chat about meeting the parents and that sort of thing, regular relationship stufff. Maria tells Charlie about what David said in regard to him not leaving Tracey anytime soon, and then she goes back to work.

Charlie, left on his own in the flat, gets an evil glint in his eye, picks up Maria's phone and sends a 'come hither you young stud' text to David. Just like Papa Smurf is his glory days. Sigh.

David is sat at the kitchen table stuffing his face while Gail natters on. He gets the text that he thinks is from Maria and scurries upstairs to have a shower and ready for some action.

Gail wonders if texting might be the best way for them to communicate.

David shows up at Maria's door and is quite shocked when Charlie opens it and hauls him in by the scruff of his neck. He drags David upstairs and runs the bath. Charlie, exhibiting all the classic signs of a sociopath, remembers how his mother was a nasty piece of work, asks how his business is any of David's business, tells David that he has been a busy little bee, asks some obscure rhetorical questions, all while repeatedly holding David's head under water and pretending to drown him. Charlie notes that David should be an old hand at this, since he was almost drowned in the canal and all back in the Richard Hillman days.

Maria eventually shows up and puts an end to the torture session. David says Charlie waa trying to drown him and rushes out. Charlie tries to make up some excuse about David trying to have a bath while Maria was out and how they should bring back the National Service but she isn't buying it and tells Charlie he has to go.

David, looking like a drowned rat, slinks home and upstairs to calm his nerves with a little death metal music. Gail shouts at him but gets no reply. She admits that 'the counselor should have a field day with this family.'

Charlie tells Maria not to be too hasty, she's all riled up - 'the prat strikes again.' Once again they discuss thier relationship. Charlie points out that many relationships start messily and end messily. He is only showing some compassion for Tracey and Amy but not just ending it right away, pardon him for having a scrap of integrity. Maria seems to have had enough of his blather, and tells Charlie that 'sometimes to make an omelette you have to crack a few eggs, drown a few schoolboys.' She storms out, having left the impression that she is indeed going to tell Tracey what has been going on.

The Battersby-Browns

Ches comes down the stairs holding a very tired shoe and tells his parents that these trainers are embarrassing. Cilla tells him to send them to Lorraine Kelly,*** because she loves everything after all. Cilla notes that if Queen Victoria were still on the throne, Ches would probably be married with 4 kids by now and he wouldn't be sponging off his parents. Ah that good old Victorian era. Les points out that Ches has 'the work ethic' and he should get a job, like a paperboy perhaps.

Later in the Cafe Cilla moans about the elevated staus of kids in western societies. She can hardly wait for Ches to leave home, and as far as Fiz goes 'if she ever starts sprogging, that's her problem.' Maternal love.

The Kabin

It seems that Rita has injured her leg somehow in Budapest (no doubt from kicking Norris in the ass) and has developed deep vein thrombosis and won't be able to fly back for 3 weeks. Norris is on the way back but Ken has to man The Kabin for another day. Cilla brings Chesney in for a job as paperboy but Ken tells her that he is just filling in and has no authority to hire anyone, no matter the job or the qualifications. 'It's not MI6' notes Cilla and departs after teling Ken he is a 'typical (Manchester) Guardian reader, all talk and no do.'

Haley and Rosie bump into each other in The Kabin. Haley tells Rosie that she had recieved a postcard from Craig, and how he must miss her. Rosie asks Haley if he actually said that in the postcard. Haley looks confused.

Emily tells Haley she should do some volunteer work.

Les and Cilla give Ken some stick while he is having lunch in The Rovers.

Roys Rolls

Oedipus - er Jamie stops by the Cafe to visit his step-mom, aka Frankie, and behaves poorly. Same creepy old story. Shower time for Papa Smurf, be right back.

Later on some flowers show up for Frankie. Roy and Haley think they are from Danny and comment on how great it is that romance is alive and well. The flowers are actually from Jamie though, so Frankie makes up some excuses about how their place already looks like a florist shop, and gives the flowers to Haley.

A brief aside - I always enjoy the music that is playing in the Cafe.

The Websters

Sophie is giving her love sick sister a hard time about the dearth of correspondence she has been receiving from Kraig.**** 'Ich would write more, but my heart is kaput' mocks Sophie. Sal tells her youngest to show some sensitivity. Sophie points out that they don't teach sensitivity at her cheap school. Sal isn't impressed.

Kev is on the phone with his dad, who it turns out is coming to visit at 4:00 that afternoon. Since the place is a right tip, Sal tells Rosie to get the place cleaned up. Rosie puts on her whiny face and tells Sal that Granddad coming to visit is a reminder of the whole Paris scenario and how can she possibly clean the house with all that anguish. Sal says she understands and tells Rosie to be sure to clean under the rim of the toilet.

Rosie then spends the rest of the day avoiding doing any work and worrying about Kraig, off in the land of square-headed people, snogging buxom beer babes in Berlin.

Actually that sounds pretty good, I might just join Kraig for a bit.

*Long game - soccer reference to playing the long pass from defence to the forwards, bypassing the midfield. Usually the sign of a shite team resorting to desperate measures. Similar to the state of Charlie and Maria's relationship.

**Famous hit song I Don't Like Mondays written by Sir Bob Geldof (of BandAid fame) and recorded by The Boomtown Rats on the album The Fine Art of Surfacing circa 1979. In a weird twist the album was produced by Mutt Lange, husband of Shania Twain.

***Lorraine Kelly is an ITV presenter, who is quite vivacious and attractive for a woman of her years, quite unlike Cilla, hence explaining her poor attitude towards the television.

****Germanic spelling.


Anonymous said...

i was sooo mad at Charlie tonight! i wanted to strangle him! i hope Maria gets rid of him, she would have to be mental to stay with him after that.

Anonymous said...

This episode had me gritting my teeth because I wanted to smack was scary and so real! Now Maria knows what a loonie Charlie is...I hope so anyway. Maria is kinda think! LOL!

PS Sorry about the spoiler...I was surprised by this sad Corrie news and wanted to share and I forgot about the "no spoilers" thingy...


EPS said...

What "sad Corrie news"? Gee, I hate reading an apology for a spoiler and not being able to figure out what the spoiler is.

I think it was Emily who suggested that Halie could fulfill her aultruistic hankerings by volunteering.

During the tub scene I kept think, "go on, drown the little prat". That could have yaken care of David and Charlie in one fell swoop.

Anonymous said...

I don't condone what Charlie did, but I was loving the dunking scene with David and Charlie. Finally, that cocky smirk was wiped right off David's face.

Who did put the ram in the ram-a-lang-a-ding-dog?
And more importantly, who put the bop in the bop-she-wop-du-wop?


Jacqueline said...

Glacia is texting a 'come hither' text to Papasmurf over her morning cup of Jasmine tea.

Anonymous said...

Excellent update! Wasn't it nice to have a Bev free episode!

Mayfairgirl said...

what an episode! i was on the edge of my seat the entire time. at least maria now sees charlie what he really is, a complete nutter.

looking forward to tonight's episode!


Westcoast fan said...

WTF, I really don't understand Maria! She comes home to find Charlie subjecting her bezzy mate to a crude British version of the CIA practice of waterboarding and it inspires her to:

a. Dial 911 to summon the authorities to take her psychopath boyfriend away.

b. Chuck Chuckie-boy out by his ear with a swift kick to his pants.

c. Insist that she and Charlie must now declare their love to the world and then leave to tell Tracy that the Chuckster is now hers.

First Liam, now Maria. Are the populace of Weatherfield universally tolerant of child abuse or do they reserve their apathy for child-psychopaths?

I thought Kirkeh was to thick one in that family. Apparently I was wrong.

Westcoast fan

Debbie said...

OK, I had two favourite lines. Charlie's "integrity" line and Sophie's "Cheapo School" line. I loved it. That kid is sharp!

Regarding David. When that episode aired in the UK there wre some anti-violence groups making some complaints about it. Cuz, it was obvious that the Corrie writers are advocation partial drowning as a means of discipline.

I was really conflicted during that scene, beause he is a misguided fifteen-year-old-boy. At the same time, he is kind of a psychopath and a horrible person. Still, you can't drown the guy.

Anonymous said...

I loved Cilla's comment about Ken being a "typical Guardian reader."

We don't quite have the same newspaper culture in Canada as they do in the UK. At any newstand, you're given a dizzying choice of papers from the populist screaming tabloids to conservative financial papers to left-wing papers like the Guardian, which of course, Ken reads.

Toronto is probably the city where there is the most variety of papers with differing views. Montreal is somewhat similar, but only if you read in both languages. But while you get bit of ribbing about "Sun readers" and "Star readers," it isn't a big a thing as it is over there.

I picked up a Guardian to read when I was last over there and was teased by Kowy's auntie: "The Guardian?! That's for school teachers and social workers!"

Anonymous said...

Westcoast fan, I completely agree with you. My first reaction was call the police. Charlie should be charged with assault, child abuse whatever! How thick is Maria? I totally hate Charlie!

Anonymous said...

I don't think Maria knows what kind of guy Charlie is at all. She's still talking about the long term here, give or take a few drowned school boys.

I'm quite liking Gail's wry sense of humor about just how screwed up her family is.

Thank you for interpreting Sophie's remarks. I didn't understand one of them. Maybe her voice is too high for me?

Jamie's quite open stalking of Frankie is getting a bit worriesome.


Anonymous said...

Thank you too for removing spoilers. Yes, I am a weenie, and I know it's not real... I just don't want to know what's going to happen!


Westcoast fan said...

'Frankie' was looking rather obviously pregnant with her apron on in the scene where she received the flowers. I guess the director and camera operators have had it with trying to conceal the pregnancies of the women who are with 'Danny'. I am totally squicked by Jamie's infatuation with his stepmom, and by her passive ambivalence about his advances. This will have to resolve with Frankie leaving Weatherfield [to have that baby], but I'll be sorry if Danny goes with her. He's an incorrible sweet-talking rake, but at least he has a heart that can love (in its own twisted way), unlike Mr. Chas. Stubbs.

Anonymous said...

Good one, passive ambivalence. I keep wondering why she just doesn't say 'grow up, bugger off, and find someone your own age. This isn't going to work.'

Instead, she bleats 'I'm with him now, this is the way it has to be..." WHAT?!

Maybe she should piggyback into one of the Platt counseling sessions.


Debbie said...

I think that we have to remember that in the UK, Monday night has 2 episodes that air 30 minutes apart and the show is filmed with that knowledge in mind. So, when Maria went flying out the door the episode wasn't really over. We don't know where she is going.

To me, when she was talking to Charlie she wasn't hoping to get together with him long term, but going over all the lies he had told her.

Tonight's episode will start with her finishing what she started.