Monday, July 30, 2007

Update for Epiosde #6418 July 30, 2007

What it would take to get Jack off his ass and celebrate his birthday.

Whole Lotta Shaking Going On

Cilla and Yana are discussing their upcoming appointment with the miracle worker - er plastic surgeon. It seems that Cilla has decided to get some breast augmentation. Some what? queries Les. A-U-G-M-E-M-E-N-T-A-T-I-O-N clarifies Yana. Fiz thinks both of them are a bit soft in the head to be contemplating having cosmetic surgery, seeing as they have no money to pay for it, not to mention the rationale behind it. It turns out that you can pay for the surgery in installments - "knockers, on the knock" - so to speak. Cilla asks Les what size and shape he would like her new augmentations to be. Les is overwhelmed for a moment, then rushes out the door.

Amber and Dev watch in bewilderment as Les compares the size and shape of a variety of melons in their shop. Even though he has been there a while, and has put a few King Edwards down his shirt for a while, the shopkeepers are confident theft is not what Les is up to. Eventually Dev asks Les what he is doing. Since they are both men of the world, Les confides with Dev about the choice he is facing. Dev proves to be an unsympathetic audience and retrieves the melons from our man Les.

Jumpin' Jack Flash

It turns out that Jack is turning 70 sometime this week and Vera wants to have a bit of a do to celebrate. Jack just wants to keep it quiet and sit at home, or maybe have a few ales with the lads. Vera is none too impressed with his attitude, so she decides to recruit Tyrone to get Jack to change his mind about having a party.

Molly asks Vera what the point is of going to the exotic ballet. Men.

The boys go to The Rovers for a pint. Tyrone tries to persuade Jack to go along with what Vera has in mind. Jack points out that there is little for him to celebrate these days, what with everything on his body failing him. No sense to have a knees up to commemerate that. Now when Jack was younger, having a night out, a bit of nookie with a young cracker, now that was something to celebrate. Sigh. Papa Smurf can relate.

Ty calls Molly to report his failure. Molly and Vera note that men can be as thick as thieves when it comes to certain things. Or just plain thick. The two women decide to hatch a plan for a party regardless.

Jailhouse Rock

Hayley is going to class to learn how to teach the inmates how to read. Her co-workers are less than impressed with her volunteerism, pointing out that teaching the inmates reading skills will only open up new venues of potential criminal activity for them when they get out of prison.


Bill Webster runs into Audrey on the street. Bill is wondering who can he go drinking with, since Kevin has been confined to barracks and all. Audrey volunteers to consume some gin in his company, and they agree to meet later and paint the town scarlet. Or red.

Never Been to Spain

Danny and Frankie continue to make plans to sell the factory and move to Spain. Danny wants to straighten things out with Jamie before he leaves, which seems to make Frankie a little nervous. Danny calls his son but is rebuffed. In spite of this Danny remains in high spirits,no doubt daydreaming about a bikini clad Frankie, and goes in to the factory singing a happy song. Liam wonders if Danny is one of The Flying Pickets.* Danny leaves for the afternoon.

Liam calls brother Paul and tells him to come round so they can talk about the sale of the factory. They decide they are in the pole position for the takeover. The factory girls are wondering what is going on behind closed doors - and blinds.

Jamie comes to visit Danny at his flat and they have a chat. Danny tells his son about the plan for him and Frankie to move to Spain. Taken by surprise, Jamie reacts badly, no doubt confused why Frankie had failed to mention any of this. Danny points out that it was Frankie's idea to move to Spain. Jamie tells Danny that he can't take Frankie half way across Europe, they're too close. Danny points out that Spain is only two hours away, he can come over anytime. Jamie wonders if he should warn Warren's bird to watch her back. Danny tells his son he is out of line. Things get increasingly acrimonious between the two - Danny asks his son "is there something you want to tell me?"

*A British a capella group from the 1980s

The Bitch is Back

Tracey cooks up a full English for Charlie. He enjoys his breakfast thoroughly but wonders if he is back in her good graces or a condemned man. Being a decptive, manipulative type himself, Charlie can only wonder what Tracey is up to.

Deirdre chats with her daughter in the street. Tracey wants her mom to babysit Amy but Deirdre initially refuses, not without understanding why Tracey is with Charlie again. They have their usual disagreement, and in the end Deirdre agrees to babysit so Tracey can go out for a drink with Satan - er Charlie.

Miss Barlow pops in at The Salon to get her hair and 'whatever else' done so she can go out that evening looking her best. And by the way, she could murder a coffee. Audrey volunteers to work on Tracey if Maria will take over her client, but Maria insists she will take care of Tracey. The situation turns out to be as unpleasant as one might imagine, Tracey behaving in a most boorish fashion. Maria tries to apologize for her actions, but the bitch isn't having any of it. Tracey tells Maria that her tip is to keep her nails longer in the future, so she can get her claws deeper into the man and maybe hang on him. Tracey then throws the money she owes on the floor and flounces out.

In spite of this performance, Sarah says that everybody deserves a second chance. Audrey disagrees - saying not everybody, not everybody.


Jacqueline said...

"having a night out, a bit of nookie with a young cracker, now that was something to celebrate. Sigh. Papa Smurf can relate.

Papa, you need to come to Toronto and get Glacia-fied.

BTW - is it just me or is Molly slimming down?

Debbie said...

Papa if you come to Toronto to get "Glaciafied" be sure to wear a helmet. And by "helmet" I mean an actual helmet you would wear while rollerblading, biking, or entering international luge competitions. Consider yourself warned.

Molly is getting slimmer. She looks great.

Regarding the Hailey situation: can someone tell me what is up with Emily? She tells her to volunteer and then acts all weird about it when Haily shows the slightest enthusism. WTF, man!

I could just be oversensitive. I really love that Hailey character. She is so even tempered and sweet and nerdy.

Hey Jacqueline, wanna corrie it up with me now that I am back in Toronto?

Jacqueline said...

You're back in toronto?

Come to the corrie pub night tommorow!

Westcoast fan said...

I think Emily was trying to show herself to be a 'tolerant' Christian by complimenting Hayley (I think it was over her and Roy's taking Craig in wasn't it) which then led Hayley to decide she should do volunteer work. But Emily never intended for a transvestite to do such good works for her church, and really isn't as tolerant as she makes out to be (remember how she was unable to find forgiveness in her heart for Joe?). Bleh.

You know, I almost hope Jamie tells Danny about his unrequited love for Frankie, just so Frankie and Jamie can drive off into the sunset (and out of the show forever), we can pour disinfectant on their tracks, and Danny can remain on the Street.