Saturday, July 21, 2007
There's Amber! Update
Son Still In Love With Step-Mom, Father Oblivious
It’s Sunday morning and Danny urges Frankie to take the day off, maybe even quit her job at the cafe now that they’re back together. But she doesn’t want to lose her independence. They decide to work for a bit and then take a lovely drive out to a country pub for Sunday lunch.
Later at the office, Liam stops in to get his football shoes in time to get landed with Danny’s weekend workload. Danny suggests to Frankie they invite Jamie along for lunch. She says it’s too soon but Danny says Jamie’s got to learn to accept things sooner rather than later. She can’t disagree.
Of course the confrontation doesn’t go well. Danny invites Jamie to get everything off his chest. Jamie wryly asks Frankie if she wants him to say what’s really on his mind. She replies that she’d like him to accept that she and Danny belong together.
“He’s not right for you,” Jamie says.
“He’s more right than anyone else,” she says.
“Jamie, son, why can’t you just be happy for us?” Danny asks, oblivious to the real conversation going on here.
Danny concedes that Jamie needs more time and leaves. Frankie hangs back a mo’ when Jamie asks her if she really believes it would be wrong between them. She says of course it would be wrong and he knows it. He says that no matter what she thinks, Danny is still wrong for her. She doesn’t love him. “You only went running back after that kiss,” he says and adds that there’s nothing stopping them from being together.
“I’m with your dad,” she says.
He insists again that they belong together. She walks away.
Bev Pours Herself A Drink
Claire and Ashley examine the contents of the gravy granules jar. Ashley hopes it isn’t just the remnants of the Rovers’ ashtrays. Claire says it’s been a long time since her dad died, but she thinks it’s the real thing. Ashley thinks Fred wouldn’t appreciate this indignity, half of him in a gravy jar and the other half scattered at a lay-by on the A54. Claire eyes up a more respectable macaroni jar but decides against it. She advises him to speak to Bev.
At the Rover’s, Liz is trying politely to tell Bev to sling her ‘ook. She asks if Bev wouldn’t be better off with family. After all, she must be annoyed with Liz constantly under her feet and now that the sale is going through and Steve is moving in, right?
“Do you want me to move on?” Bev finally clues in.
“In your own time. There’s no rush,” Liz replies hurriedly.
Bev takes that as an invitation to stay. They trip over who gets to open the pub and Liz finally says, “it’s my job. Okay?”
So Bev returns to her new hobby, gin. Michelle arrives for work and Bev goes off about her being an hour late, saying that Michelle’s taking advantage of a grieving widow, etc., etc..
“The clocks went back last night, Bev,” Michelle finally interrupts, “I’m five minutes early.” Oh.
By the time Ashley finds Bev, she’s three sheets to the wind. She wonders if they shouldn’t divide Fred into thirds so that Audrey can have her bit, too, and they all know which part Audrey would want. Gail informs her that she’s embarrassing herself.
“You call this embarrassing?” Bev replies, “ you try standing at the altar while your fiancé dies in his fancy woman’s boudoir.”
“If you loved him as much as you say you did, you’d want him all in one piece,” Ashley says.
Bev crumples into tears once more, “I want him here right now in one piece, explaining himself!”
Ashley excuses himself and leaves. Liz chases after him into the street to say that when she agreed to buy the pub, Bev wasn’t part of the fixtures and fittings. Ashley replies that it’s not his problem, he has enough to deal with. Liz appears to have a pickle on her hands (booze… pickled… get it?).
Amber! Look Everyone, It’s Amber! Plus Some Cilla, Jason and Sarah Stuff.
At the Café, Amber plops a magazine down in front of Yana and Cilla, saying how disgusting it is that baboons and guinea pigs only have to wiggle their bums and all the girls come running.
“Works for me,” Cilla says, admiring Jason’s ass, which is displayed to full advantage as he waits for his breakfast order. Cilla thinks he might be doing it for her but Amber thinks it’s rather for Sarah, who is sitting off to the side looking despondent.
Sure enough, Jason asks if he can join her. “Free country,” Sarah replies. She asks why he’s eating at the Café, is it because it’s a crowded house back home? He reiterates that Violet is just a lodger. He has no choice. He asks why she’s at the Café. She tells him not to talk with his mouth full.
“Sorry,” he says and she smiles a little.
Turns out she’s had it with the drama David’s creating at home. She tells him how Gail wants them all to have counseling, saying that maybe he should come, too, and explain why he sneaked out on their wedding day.
“Well, at least I didn’t die on ya,” he jokes.
“What, like Billy did?”
His face falls. Sarah admits she only said it to make him feel bad. “Maybe counseling wouldn’t be such a bad idea,” she adds. He offers to come with her.
Amber, Cilla and Yana continue to discuss the mating rituals of various wildlife. The rattlesnake will battle just to get a female’s attention. Cilla likes that, says she’s a bit of a romantic deep down. Amber says the rattlesnake wasn’t meant to be the romantic example. Cilla tells her to wait until two men fight over her.
“Then you’ll understand,” Yana agrees.
Amber says the romantic one is the grasshopper, who has over 400 songs with which to serenade you.
“Wouldn’t do no grasshopper,” Cilla looks disgusted.
“Although, I did once have a thing for Kung Fu,” Yana says dreamily.
Apparently the Bower Bird builds the best nest it can and then females fly from nest to nest and pick the one they like the most. Yana says the perfect mate would be half Bower bird, half grasshopper and half rattlesnake. Cilla says the perfect man just walked in, referring to Liam. Amber tells her to get real. Yana agrees that Cilla is about 20 years too late.
“Yeah, but I don’t look that old, do I?” Cilla asks and then asks Amber, “how old do would you say I was?”
Cut to the counter where Liam asks Frankie if she’s happy with Danny, to which she replies, “I think so.” Then cut back to Cilla who is stomping angrily out of the cafe.
“If you don’t want the answer, don’t ask the question,” Amber says to Yana.
Jason walks Sarah home. He asks her if she misses him but she avoids the question by commenting on the rental van parked in front of her house.
“Sarah, I miss you. And I still love you. And I wish we were married. And if I could do it again, we would be,” he says, all sad puppy dog eyes.
“Well, you can’t. And even if I did feel the same way about you, we won’t ever get our wedding day back, will we?” she replies. There’s nothing he can say. She walks away.
It turns out Cilla was really upset by Amber’s comment on her age. She says it would have been better coming from someone like Janice, a jealous rival. “Water off a duck’s back.” But coming from Amber, it’s more like “from the mouths of babes.”
“She’s just a daft kid,” Yana says, “you’re the babe.”
Cilla thinks she’s let herself go and needs to do something about it. Yana suggests joining a gym, eating right and giving up the booze. But Cilla’s thinking more like a facelift.
Place Your Bets!
Oh no, David’s at the Cabin hunting for a card. It really is his signature. I believe that when he eventually becomes a serial killer, he’ll always leave a thoughtful and well-chosen sympathy card.
Ken is under the mistaken impression that the card is for Bev. David asks after Tracy, whether she’s happy living over the road with Charlie, whether it will last. Ken replies that only time will tell. David says that Bev’s situation proves there could be anything around the corner. He’s only sorry he didn’t get a card to her sooner.
“You know, I don’t care what they say about the youth of today,” Ken says to Cilla as David leaves, “sometimes they can really surprise you. I mean, he’s got his problems but he’s growing up to be a really nice young man.”
The nice young man is doing his level best to torture Tracy and Charlie. He kicks the football against the rental van so that the alarm goes off multiple times, and on Sunday morning, too! Tracy is confounded by his behavior but she doesn’t make the connection when she finds a sympathy card slid through the mail slot. The inscription says, Expressing sincerest sympathy to you in your sorrows. The handwritten note says, “Sorry to hear Charlie’s been such a bad boy! You must be devastated.” Underlined.
Charlie knows damn well who it is, but tells Tracy it’s probably a joke, perhaps someone angry at a job or something. Tracy thinks it’s from Bev because of Shelley’s baby. Bev could be taking her misery out on others. Charlie thinks the best thing to do is forget about it but Tracy’s determined to confront Bev.
The problem is that it’s soon pretty clear drunken Bev has no clue what she’s talking about. Tracy is as confused as ever. Charlie overhears that David’s home alone for at least the next hour while Gail takes a much needed break at the Rover’s. He decides to go “move the van,” which is Charlie speak for “teach David a lesson.”
He backs the van up to the Platt’s door. He opens the back door, knocks on the Platt's door and grabbing hold of David, tosses him into the back.
“Touch me and I’ll report you!” David yells.
“I’ve had enough of you,” Charlie hisses. He is just about to tell David what happened to the weasely little kid who blackmailed him in school when Liam opens the door of the van, “what’s going on?”
Charlie tells Liam that he was just trying to teach David a lesson, since Gail can’t seem to keep him in line. The damage to his truck cost over 600 quid.
“You don’t want to make an enemy out of me,” Charlie pats David on the cheek.
“I’d stay clear of him in future,” Liam says to David.
“Oh, I can handle him,” David says with a smirk.
And I’m honestly not sure who to put my money on.