Wednesday, July 04, 2007

The Matching and Dispatching Update


Fred’s Still Dead

The entire street is gossiping, gossiping, gossiping about WHY Fred was at Audrey’s a few minutes before he was to get wed. Of course, everyone suspects the worse – that he was making a special sausage delivery. There are, however, a few people (Rita) who insist that Fred would never be fooling around and that the others are dragging his name in the mud.

Bev is at the back of the pub, just getting drunker and drunker on gin. When Deidre and Ken come to visit, they and Michelle try to cheer her up. She finally looks up from her drink and says:

'My fiancée died at the house of another woman on the day of our wedding.'

You know, when you put it like that, I have to agree, it’s Beefeater Time.

Rita Sullivan Investigates

Meanwhile, Rita goes over to Gayle’s to confront Audrey and says what I think most of us are thinking, ‘You only wanted Fred now that someone else had him.’ Audrey disagrees, but at the same time calls herself a stupid woman for saying anything, so I think she secretly agreed with Rita, but just couldn’t’ bring herself to admit it.

She tells Rita that there was no assignation going on. Rita disagrees and says there was an assignation. In fact, she was in Bev’s shoes when her Len** died, because there was an assignation before he died.

At this point, Glacia pulls out her dictionary and finds out what ‘assignation’ means.

1. The act of assigning.
2. Something assigned, especially an allotment.
3. An appointment for a meeting between lovers; a tryst. See Synonyms at engagement.

Later, Gayle and Audrey make their way over to the funeral home and we get to see Fred in his coffin …which is a horrible sight. Oh, and guess who’s there…Archie! I totally forgot that he was the man who buries.

Audrey makes her apology to Fred for making a mess of his wedding day and marriage to Beverly and hopes he’ll forgive her. She tells him that he embodied integrity, loyalty and steadfastness and she thanked him for his friendship. (Then Glacia cries)

At that moment you hear a commotion from the other room and Bev comes into the parlour upset (and maybe a bit loaded) with Ashley. There’s this stand off with Audrey and Bev – both backed by their respective pitbullls (Gayle and Ashley). My first thought is, ‘Please Gayle..don’t say a word.’ My second thought is, ‘Please Ashley…don't say...’

Too late! Ashley lets it rip and complains about how his dad was a running joke on the street with his serial proposals and now it would seem that two women fighting over him has been the death of him. Then he turns on Audrey and starts in again about how she killed Fred. (see my comments from earlier…vis-à-vis prime rib, Woodbines and Dewars).

You know, I do think it is a shame that there is so much gossip about Fred and why he was at Audrey's. Really, if you think about it, did Fred EVER do anything deceitful or ever doublecross anyone? I don’t think so. Fred, above any little faults he may have had, had a pretty pure heart. It is kind of horrible that people are so quick to dis him.

Osama Bin Rockin
Cilla is on an Ebay kick and is selling anything she can get her hands on – including, I suspect, the scotch egg Les had been saving in the fridge. He’s doing a lot of complaining about her ebay antics, and even more so when he finds out that she sold his Status Quo jacket that all the members of the band signed.

That’s actually pretty low, even for Cilla.

David Faces a Life of Minimum Wage, Scratch Cards and Chocolate
David is skiving around without anything to do, now that he’s a highschool drop out. He approaches Craig and Rosie and there’s an exchange. Unfortunately, this is what I heard.

Mr. Glacia: Hey, did I use two cans of tomatoes the last time I made spaghetti sauce?
Glacia: What?
Mr. Glacia: I think I did, cause I used two cans this time and it seems to be the same consistancey.
Glacia: Yah.
Mr. Glacia: And this veggie ground beef from MEC is amazing. I’ve only used about a third of the pack and we’ve had 4 meals from it.
Glacia: What?

So really, I have no freaking idea the exchange that went on, but I’m sure it went along the lines of David trying to convince Craig and Rosie (and himself) that life on Pleasure Island is great. Craig and Rosie say, 'Whatever.' and the minute David is gone, they dream about their new lives in Berlin.

Meanwhile, Sally can’t figure out why Rosie is packing so many clothes and quotes some gals named Triny and Susan who dated Count Mountbatten of Schweingarten.

In Which Danny Reminds Us That He’s a Cockney
Danny, Frankie and Liam are doing the whole Archie, Reggie and Veronika act as each man tries to win her over. Danny seems to be in the lead, but Frankie cancelled their dinner plans so who knows what that means.

Danny has some great rhyming moments in this episode (even if they are a bit old hat). When he comes across the factory workers gossiping about Fred, he tells them, ‘More stitching, less bitching.’

When Sean asks if he can have time off for Fred’s funeral, Danny agrees but says only people were at the wedding can go to the funeral – put most eloquently, ‘If you weren’t at the match, you ain’t gonna be at the dispatch.’ (Mr.Glacia thinks this is high comedy).

In Other News
Sean reminisces about Fred and says that he was dead camp when he smoked. (This is Glacia’s favorite line of the show.)

Fizz gives up learning to drive. And on a related note, Glacia covets the wee green car purse Fizz is carrying around.

**Len Fairclough is an old school Corrie character - before Rita. I will try to get a post up this week giving you all his background.


Anonymous said...

Did anyone notice that just before Fizz left the pub for her driving lesson she downed the last of her pint of beer?! Surely someone with a learner's permit is prohibited from driving with any alcohol in their system.

It is a bit much that everyone thinks there was something untoward going on between Fred and Audrey just before the wedding. I mean, come on, would Fred (or anyone, except maybe Charlie) all dressed up in their wedding togs, really rush off for a quick boink before the nuptials and hope to make it back in time unruffled and unnoticed. If Bev can't give her betrothed more credit than that then maybe she didn't deserve him. An innocent explanation (one that absolves Fred but not Audrey, at least) is available. Why wouldn't you accept it if only to preserve the memory of the man you loved? Maybe Bev just likes to play the victim.

Westcoast fan

Corrie Quebec said...

Glacia, I do feel bad for you. That sort of ground beef is even questionable while camping let alone in the friendly confines of the Glacia Estate.

By the way, have you tried turkey bacon? It's a delicious alternative. It comes fully cooked at has a third the fat of regular bacon.

Jacqueline said...

aaaah, the Glacia Estate.

I love it.

Unfortunately, I have some difficulties eating meat, so my meat intake has to be very minimal. Thus the veggie ground beef.

I have tried the turkey bacon and it is deeelicious!

Where are you in Quebec, dear?

Corrie Quebec said...

I'm in Repentigny (which is just outside of Montreal) via Brampton, via London Ontario. I figure that I'm the only one out here who has ever heard Roy's Rolls.

I which that I had known about this group ealier. From 2000 - 2004 I had been living on the Danforth in Toronto. More specifically I used to live on Cambridge Ave and then on Broadview north of Danforth. I was a fan of Allen's and even tried to drag my friends into the lovely Black Swan. I always said that Allen's was like the Rovers and the Swan was like the Weatherfield Arms. :)

Ang said...

awww and here my hopes were up thinking Hatching, Matching, and Dispatching was coming back lol What a tease!

I don't have much to say about Corrie this week... Just a big WOW from me.

Anonymous said...

I don't which was better your update or the actual show. I totally loved both! I am not a fan of Bev when she is drunk (no wonder Shelly hit the road). I can't believe she is so quick to think the worst of Fred. I am also not very happy with Ashley's behaviour either. How can he accuse Audrey of "killing" Fred, its not like she put a gun to his head! I was upset at seeing Fred in the coffin. I will really miss his character, he was so kind. P.S. my husband and I loved Hatching, Matching and Dispatching.

Anonymous said...

Trini and Susannh used to be British TV for helping people choose clothes that looked good on them. They were on BBC America here as well. Bev is becoming a pain in the arse!


Anonymous said...

The gossip about Fred bugged me a bit, as well. He never made an enemy of anyone so if even he can't escape the gossip less than 24 hours after his death, what hope does anyone have? Weatherfield is like a small town that way, despite being part of Greater Manchester. Everyone knows your business, or thinks they do, and everyone has an opinion.

kowy said...

Correct me if I'm brain is broken from staring at boring articles all day...but:

Didn't Audrey dump Archie ages ago? I must say he showed extremely good restraint when she came in to see Fred at the Funeral Parlour. If I were he and my ex came in to visit another person, I'd have sent in my lackey and hidden in my office until she left.

Anonymous said...

I wasn't a watcher during the Audrey/Archie era, but I seem to recall that Audrey and Archie saw each other fairly recently - at Mike's funeral, perhaps - and behaved in a quite chummy manner, so I think it's all water under the bridge now. That being said, is Archie married? If not then Audrey might get her claws in him!

Westcoast fan

Gregg Anderson said...

Was Bev drinking Beefeater?? I thought it was Tanqueray...well it would be if she was a discerning gin drinker at any rate.

Jacqueline said...

Ah, I just said it was Beefeater, because I think Beefeaters are funny.

Truly I am vodka drinker and don't know my gin from my ass.

You'll forgive my slip.

Gregg Anderson said...

Oh don't think my comment was anything other than just an excuse to say 'Beefeater' in a public forum!! I sadly am a Gin drinker.... ;)