Wednesday, July 04, 2007
The Matching and Dispatching Update
Fred’s Still Dead
The entire street is gossiping, gossiping, gossiping about WHY Fred was at Audrey’s a few minutes before he was to get wed. Of course, everyone suspects the worse – that he was making a special sausage delivery. There are, however, a few people (Rita) who insist that Fred would never be fooling around and that the others are dragging his name in the mud.
Bev is at the back of the pub, just getting drunker and drunker on gin. When Deidre and Ken come to visit, they and Michelle try to cheer her up. She finally looks up from her drink and says:
'My fiancée died at the house of another woman on the day of our wedding.'
You know, when you put it like that, I have to agree, it’s Beefeater Time.
Rita Sullivan Investigates
Meanwhile, Rita goes over to Gayle’s to confront Audrey and says what I think most of us are thinking, ‘You only wanted Fred now that someone else had him.’ Audrey disagrees, but at the same time calls herself a stupid woman for saying anything, so I think she secretly agreed with Rita, but just couldn’t’ bring herself to admit it.
She tells Rita that there was no assignation going on. Rita disagrees and says there was an assignation. In fact, she was in Bev’s shoes when her Len** died, because there was an assignation before he died.
At this point, Glacia pulls out her dictionary and finds out what ‘assignation’ means.
1. The act of assigning.
2. Something assigned, especially an allotment.
3. An appointment for a meeting between lovers; a tryst. See Synonyms at engagement.
Later, Gayle and Audrey make their way over to the funeral home and we get to see Fred in his coffin …which is a horrible sight. Oh, and guess who’s there…Archie! I totally forgot that he was the man who buries.
Audrey makes her apology to Fred for making a mess of his wedding day and marriage to Beverly and hopes he’ll forgive her. She tells him that he embodied integrity, loyalty and steadfastness and she thanked him for his friendship. (Then Glacia cries)
At that moment you hear a commotion from the other room and Bev comes into the parlour upset (and maybe a bit loaded) with Ashley. There’s this stand off with Audrey and Bev – both backed by their respective pitbullls (Gayle and Ashley). My first thought is, ‘Please Gayle..don’t say a word.’ My second thought is, ‘Please Ashley…don't say...’
Too late! Ashley lets it rip and complains about how his dad was a running joke on the street with his serial proposals and now it would seem that two women fighting over him has been the death of him. Then he turns on Audrey and starts in again about how she killed Fred. (see my comments from earlier…vis-à-vis prime rib, Woodbines and Dewars).
You know, I do think it is a shame that there is so much gossip about Fred and why he was at Audrey's. Really, if you think about it, did Fred EVER do anything deceitful or ever doublecross anyone? I don’t think so. Fred, above any little faults he may have had, had a pretty pure heart. It is kind of horrible that people are so quick to dis him.
Osama Bin Rockin
Cilla is on an Ebay kick and is selling anything she can get her hands on – including, I suspect, the scotch egg Les had been saving in the fridge. He’s doing a lot of complaining about her ebay antics, and even more so when he finds out that she sold his Status Quo jacket that all the members of the band signed.
That’s actually pretty low, even for Cilla.
David Faces a Life of Minimum Wage, Scratch Cards and Chocolate
David is skiving around without anything to do, now that he’s a highschool drop out. He approaches Craig and Rosie and there’s an exchange. Unfortunately, this is what I heard.
Mr. Glacia: Hey, did I use two cans of tomatoes the last time I made spaghetti sauce?
Mr. Glacia: I think I did, cause I used two cans this time and it seems to be the same consistancey.
Mr. Glacia: And this veggie ground beef from MEC is amazing. I’ve only used about a third of the pack and we’ve had 4 meals from it.
So really, I have no freaking idea the exchange that went on, but I’m sure it went along the lines of David trying to convince Craig and Rosie (and himself) that life on Pleasure Island is great. Craig and Rosie say, 'Whatever.' and the minute David is gone, they dream about their new lives in Berlin.
Meanwhile, Sally can’t figure out why Rosie is packing so many clothes and quotes some gals named Triny and Susan who dated Count Mountbatten of Schweingarten.
In Which Danny Reminds Us That He’s a Cockney
Danny, Frankie and Liam are doing the whole Archie, Reggie and Veronika act as each man tries to win her over. Danny seems to be in the lead, but Frankie cancelled their dinner plans so who knows what that means.
Danny has some great rhyming moments in this episode (even if they are a bit old hat). When he comes across the factory workers gossiping about Fred, he tells them, ‘More stitching, less bitching.’
When Sean asks if he can have time off for Fred’s funeral, Danny agrees but says only people were at the wedding can go to the funeral – put most eloquently, ‘If you weren’t at the match, you ain’t gonna be at the dispatch.’ (Mr.Glacia thinks this is high comedy).
In Other News
Sean reminisces about Fred and says that he was dead camp when he smoked. (This is Glacia’s favorite line of the show.)
Fizz gives up learning to drive. And on a related note, Glacia covets the wee green car purse Fizz is carrying around.
**Len Fairclough is an old school Corrie character - before Rita. I will try to get a post up this week giving you all his background.