Saturday, July 07, 2007

The Live Earth Update


I spent my morning writing an update for the wrong episode. I watched two in a row last night and got them confused. I even had a whole Live Earth theme worked into it. Now you may never know the facts about green sex, which I researched extensively. Just for you.

Violet needs to REDUCE the drama, Frankie feels REUSED, and Jamie RECYCLES his same old anger crap.

Violet got the vacation photos developed (one can still develop photos?) and apparently there are some naughty ones in the batch. It’s all good fun until Frankie walks into the room, asking to see the snaps. Jamie snatches them angrily from Violet and stomps out of the house, leaving the ladies as baffled as ever.

Later, Frankie sees him passing in the van and tries to wave him down, but he speeds off. Sean gives her a lame excuse and also hurries off. It seems the only boy who wants to talk to Frankie these days is Danny.

But maybe it's not meant to be. She later confides in Deirdre that she wants that feeling you get when you first fall in love. Unfortunately, she’ll never be able to feel that again with Danny. The bad times are just too close to the surface.

Okay, it's time to discuss the street's sex kitten. So here is your Green Sex Trivia:
Many store-bought sex toys contain, among other things, chemicals called phthalates, a substance used to soften hard plastics like PVC and provide that jelly feeling. There is quite a bit of concern about the toxicity and health risks of phthalates (in 2004, the EU banned a range of phthalates from children’s toys), especially in sex toys that are used in warm, moist places. Green Sex Toys.
Maria fluffs her hair in a window’s reflection when Charlie appears. He wants to know what she’s been up to with Liam because he’s a creepy bastard. She says it’s nothing. He implies he’s been lied to before and she snaps that it’s not like he wasn’t off playing happy families anyway.

At the Rovers, Liam and Danny trade barbs about picking up ‘fit birds’ when Maria arrives. Danny and Liam have good chemistry, but I'm not sure about Liam and Maria. There’s an exchange about what a girl really means when she acts aloof and disgusted. He thinks it means love. Is he right? Will Maria fall for his charm?

Um, I don’t think it’s allergies. Bev's just drunk. Again.
Some people feel they are “allergic” to wine, beer or other alcoholic beverages. But rather than reacting to the alcohol, they may be reacting to some of the components or additives, such as brewers yeast, corn, eggs, molds, sulfites and pesticides. Organic Beverages.
Liz is sensitive to Bev’s fragile state. But she needs Bev to put down the vodka for just a mo’ so that they can discuss the fate of the pub. Bev says there really is no word for a grieving 'almost-widow'. She says she can’t let go of the pub, not when it reminds her so much of Fred. She then falls weeping upon Liz’s shoulder. Liz looks like she wants to wring her neck.

I hope they took the Chunnel….
International air travel releases more than 600 million tonnes of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere annually – about the same as 158 million cars driving 14,000 kilometres annually. Green travel.
Sophie’s losing her patience with all the canoodling going on between Rosie and Craig. Rosie reminds her it’s the city of love and Sophie rolls her eyes, as do I when they lounge on various Parisian surfaces and snog in that oh-so-Parisian way.

Rosie and Craig realize they’re going to have to ditch the ‘rents if they’re ever going to get to the train station in time. The opportunity presents itself when Bill suggests they ride the underground. Rosie pipes up that Craig’s claustrophobic, and couldn’t the two of them just go back to the hotel for a soak in the Jacuzzi?
“They probably don’t trust us,” Craig says. Well played, Craig, because of course Sally sends them on their way to prove they trust them.

Rosie pauses to get one last picture on her camera phone with her family. Then they race back to the hotel.

Back at the hotel, she rips apart her room looking for a bracelet her mom gave her. Craig implores her to hurry; they’re going to miss the second train. Rosie decides to leave the bracelet but wants to write a quick note.

Meanwhile, Sally and Kevin are sipping wine at a café and talking about 20 years of marriage. Sally thought it was going to be all romance and scratching initials into trees. She didn’t know it was going to be hard work, surviving bad times. She says love is realizing the other person knows you better than anyone else in the world.

Kevin gives her a lovely gift, a necklace that he put on the credit card. Drunk and looking very much in love, they can-can their way into a cab-cab, hoping to snag some romantic Jacuzzi time of their own. (Which their children would have just used for similar purposes. Ew)

Luckily, the kids aren’t soaking; they’re just running away. “You’re not writing Harry Potter!” Craig yells and Rosie drops the pen and notepad. They grab their packs. They make it out of the hotel, across the street and out of sight just as Sally and Kevin’s cab pulls up.

Sophie arrives with Bill and points out that the Jacuzzi has been closed this whole time. Sally jumps to the logical conclusion that Craig and Rosie are upstairs being naughty. But Rosie and Craig aren’t to be found. Then Sophie spies the note.
“Mum,” she calls.
Sally reads the note. “Kevin!” she yells.
They discover a crumpled paper with departure times to Berlin. Sally immediately rips into Kevin for assuming the kids could ever be trusted on their own. Bill jumps in, wondering if instead of fighting, shouldn’t they be getting to the train station, like, now?

The end. Now go answer the call.

15 comments:

Jacqueline said...

I am standing up and APPLAUDING both yours and John's reference to sex realted PVC this week. YOU ARE STARS.

Papa, it's up to you and me to carry the torch.

John said...

We aim to please, Jacqueline.

I like how Sophie used her Scooby-Doo skills to examine clues and come to the conclusion that Craig and Rosie are taking a train to Berlin within the hour. She's smarter than her parents put together.

If I have a child, I want that child to be Sophie.

Jacqueline said...

sophie was total encyclopedia brown!

Anonymous said...

What is annoying me is why Liz keeps asking Bev what she's going to do with the pub. Bev doesn't own it. It rightfully is now Ashley's pub, which he'd better get control of before Bev drinks all the profits. :)

Pauline

Debbie said...

I just want to throw three cheers up for RITA who has been kicking some elderly ass lately. Go Rita!

I am tired of Jamie, but I wasn't tired of the gratuitous topless Jamie shot. Yes Please!

Working From Home Today said...

I hear ya, Debbie. I'm afraid he creeps me out too much, personally. But even I had a little looksee before going back to creeped out...

Anonymous said...

Pauline,

THANK YOU! I was really wondering about that. I kept thinking, wouldn't it be Ashley's now? Unless of course Fred changed his will before his wedding, which would be very OCD of him.

Um, yeah. Can we start a petition to have Jamie come to Toronto next year for the BIS?

Michigander Fan

Anonymous said...

Random thoughts:

1. Rita rocks!
2. I agree with Ashley (wow was that hard to type!) Bev was not Fred's widow. You know, the word "widow" implies that you have had time together, dealing with the hardships of life, not 6 months dating and being engaged. That's the fun part. The marriage is the hard part.
3. Wow, Rosie and Craig are SOOO not Bonnie and Clyde. Geez Louise! You leave the train schedule and a note. How hard is it going to be for Sally and Kev to stop them? What a couple of maroons! My sister was more organized when she ran away at 6.

Michigander Fan

Anonymous said...

On second thought, scratch that about Jamie and the BIS. I'm betting he wouldn't want to walk around with his shirt off in Toronto in February.

MF

Anonymous said...

Typical Sally to be all googly eyed with Kevin at the cafe (they actually made a sweet couple for about 5 minutes) and then without missing a beat blames him for Rosie and Craig running away! (It's you they're running away from, you old cow!)

I do feel sorry for Bev. True, she is not Fred's widow, but Ashley could be a bit more sympathetic and acknwledge he's not the only one who is grieving.

If Fred signed a binding contract of purchase and sale before his death then Bev (or Ashley) can't just unilaterally decide not to sell, even if they have inherited the pub.

Westcoast fan.

Anonymous said...

As a few people mentioned in an earlier thread, the great thing about this whoel Fred/Audrey/Bev storyline is that different people are having such different reactions to the events. The comments on this post indicate that there are a few Rita and Ashley fans on board. Personally, I think someone needs to stuff a sock in Rita's mouth (each of her little temper tantrums just drags Fred's good name in the mud a little more), and I explained in a previous post why Ashley needs a good swift kick in the behind for tormenting Bev (there are much more sensitive ways of ensuring that Fred's wishes are respected than by insulting Bev). But the fact that we all have differing opinions shows how clever the writing on the show really is.

Westcoast Fan is right. If Fred and Steve signed an Agreement of Purchase and Sale, then Bev can't on a whim just decide she doesn't want to sell (assuming it's her decision to make, which it likely isn't). Given the approaching wedding, and Fred's head for business, I would have thought that the paperwork would have been drafted, reviewed and executed long before his death.

Skeezix

Anonymous said...

Excellent point - I seem to remember paperwork a couple of weeks ago...

I think ultimately Steve & Liz will get the pub.

Michigander Fan

Anonymous said...

Maybe I've missed something, but where's Jason? I just realized we haven't seen him in a while.

Jacqueline said...

Mat. leave.

EPS said...

Yeah, Pauline. I was thinking the same thing. What makes Bev think that she owns the pub, can give away booze, gets to decide ("Oh, I just couldn't bear to sell it now" or some such drivel) its disposition and can drink herself into oblivion for free?

Two words for Kevin and Sally before they go all righteous: Ian Natalie
They've not set the bar very high re: relationships - its a bit of a farce that they consider themselves married for 20 years. If we accept that then we have to NOT accept Bev as a widow.

I am so sick of Bev. Maybe we could send her to look for Jason.

Love the green slant/"live Earth Update"
EPS