Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Zut alors - I forgot ze marshmellows!

Another historic blog entry number - 1812 - the year Napoleon invaded Russia and pretty much destroyed le Grand Armee in the process. An excellent book on the subject is Moscow 1812 by Adam Zamoyski. Papa Smurf gives it two thumbs up.

Attention Debbie

Corrie Pub Night Tommorrow!


Come out and enjoy all the magical wonder that is a Corrie Canuck night!


Wednesday, August 1
7 pm
Auld Spot
347 Danforth Ave


I promise it'll be fun.


Monday, July 30, 2007

Update for Epiosde #6418 July 30, 2007

What it would take to get Jack off his ass and celebrate his birthday.

Whole Lotta Shaking Going On

Cilla and Yana are discussing their upcoming appointment with the miracle worker - er plastic surgeon. It seems that Cilla has decided to get some breast augmentation. Some what? queries Les. A-U-G-M-E-M-E-N-T-A-T-I-O-N clarifies Yana. Fiz thinks both of them are a bit soft in the head to be contemplating having cosmetic surgery, seeing as they have no money to pay for it, not to mention the rationale behind it. It turns out that you can pay for the surgery in installments - "knockers, on the knock" - so to speak. Cilla asks Les what size and shape he would like her new augmentations to be. Les is overwhelmed for a moment, then rushes out the door.

Amber and Dev watch in bewilderment as Les compares the size and shape of a variety of melons in their shop. Even though he has been there a while, and has put a few King Edwards down his shirt for a while, the shopkeepers are confident theft is not what Les is up to. Eventually Dev asks Les what he is doing. Since they are both men of the world, Les confides with Dev about the choice he is facing. Dev proves to be an unsympathetic audience and retrieves the melons from our man Les.

Jumpin' Jack Flash

It turns out that Jack is turning 70 sometime this week and Vera wants to have a bit of a do to celebrate. Jack just wants to keep it quiet and sit at home, or maybe have a few ales with the lads. Vera is none too impressed with his attitude, so she decides to recruit Tyrone to get Jack to change his mind about having a party.

Molly asks Vera what the point is of going to the exotic ballet. Men.

The boys go to The Rovers for a pint. Tyrone tries to persuade Jack to go along with what Vera has in mind. Jack points out that there is little for him to celebrate these days, what with everything on his body failing him. No sense to have a knees up to commemerate that. Now when Jack was younger, having a night out, a bit of nookie with a young cracker, now that was something to celebrate. Sigh. Papa Smurf can relate.

Ty calls Molly to report his failure. Molly and Vera note that men can be as thick as thieves when it comes to certain things. Or just plain thick. The two women decide to hatch a plan for a party regardless.

Jailhouse Rock

Hayley is going to class to learn how to teach the inmates how to read. Her co-workers are less than impressed with her volunteerism, pointing out that teaching the inmates reading skills will only open up new venues of potential criminal activity for them when they get out of prison.


Bill Webster runs into Audrey on the street. Bill is wondering who can he go drinking with, since Kevin has been confined to barracks and all. Audrey volunteers to consume some gin in his company, and they agree to meet later and paint the town scarlet. Or red.

Never Been to Spain

Danny and Frankie continue to make plans to sell the factory and move to Spain. Danny wants to straighten things out with Jamie before he leaves, which seems to make Frankie a little nervous. Danny calls his son but is rebuffed. In spite of this Danny remains in high spirits,no doubt daydreaming about a bikini clad Frankie, and goes in to the factory singing a happy song. Liam wonders if Danny is one of The Flying Pickets.* Danny leaves for the afternoon.

Liam calls brother Paul and tells him to come round so they can talk about the sale of the factory. They decide they are in the pole position for the takeover. The factory girls are wondering what is going on behind closed doors - and blinds.

Jamie comes to visit Danny at his flat and they have a chat. Danny tells his son about the plan for him and Frankie to move to Spain. Taken by surprise, Jamie reacts badly, no doubt confused why Frankie had failed to mention any of this. Danny points out that it was Frankie's idea to move to Spain. Jamie tells Danny that he can't take Frankie half way across Europe, they're too close. Danny points out that Spain is only two hours away, he can come over anytime. Jamie wonders if he should warn Warren's bird to watch her back. Danny tells his son he is out of line. Things get increasingly acrimonious between the two - Danny asks his son "is there something you want to tell me?"

*A British a capella group from the 1980s

The Bitch is Back

Tracey cooks up a full English for Charlie. He enjoys his breakfast thoroughly but wonders if he is back in her good graces or a condemned man. Being a decptive, manipulative type himself, Charlie can only wonder what Tracey is up to.

Deirdre chats with her daughter in the street. Tracey wants her mom to babysit Amy but Deirdre initially refuses, not without understanding why Tracey is with Charlie again. They have their usual disagreement, and in the end Deirdre agrees to babysit so Tracey can go out for a drink with Satan - er Charlie.

Miss Barlow pops in at The Salon to get her hair and 'whatever else' done so she can go out that evening looking her best. And by the way, she could murder a coffee. Audrey volunteers to work on Tracey if Maria will take over her client, but Maria insists she will take care of Tracey. The situation turns out to be as unpleasant as one might imagine, Tracey behaving in a most boorish fashion. Maria tries to apologize for her actions, but the bitch isn't having any of it. Tracey tells Maria that her tip is to keep her nails longer in the future, so she can get her claws deeper into the man and maybe hang on him. Tracey then throws the money she owes on the floor and flounces out.

In spite of this performance, Sarah says that everybody deserves a second chance. Audrey disagrees - saying not everybody, not everybody.

The Sparks Are Flying Update

(click image for source)

Over breakfast, Frankie encourages Danny to go talk to Liam right away. She wants to get to Spain as quickly as possible, make a clean start of it. Danny balks at the idea of giving up the factory. But when she mentions days in the sun wearing nothing but a skimpy bikini, he practically runs out the door to find Liam.

Liam is rightfully confused but Danny confirms he’s “pretty much” serious. Not quite ready to talk money, though.

Meanwhile, Jamie and Frankie hold hands under the table at the café, excited by the danger that Roy might see them. Frankie says he should have waited at the house, she was coming to him.
“I want you now,” Jamie says. “Kiss me.” But Danny walks in to whisk her away from work. I’m sorry she mouths to Jamie.


Corrie Canucker’s are pretty much unanimous that this story is creepy. CorrieRules writes, “Brain bleach anyone?”
John writes, “Usually when Corrie attempts a controversial storyline, it's usually handled quite well like Tracy bedding Roy Cropper for a penny bet, which turned out brilliantly. This, though, is about 7 different kinds of wrong.”
Corrie Lover USA reminds us that there were real fireworks between Debra Stephenson (Frankie) and Bradley Walsh (Danny) at the time and it got them into heaps of trouble. Was this storyline their penance?

Okay, back to the Street:

Tracy decides to go back to Charlie! As she packs up her bag, she tells Deirdre that only Charlie gives her the level of excitement and passion she craves. She marches over to Charlie’s, pushes her way past him into the house, and tells the blond to take a hike.

Tracy says she knows that neither the blond nor Maria meant anything. “It happens.” Charlie is surprised. She pleads with him to take her back, saying their relationship works, they need each other. He thinks she just wants the house but she insists she wants him. She knows he only brought the girl back to make her jealous. “It was a game, Charlie, and you won.”
“Clever me,” he smirks.
She says she couldn’t sleep.
“Yeah, I did a bit of ‘tossing’ and ‘turning’ myself,” he grins even more.

But he doesn’t buy it. Tracy insists that yeah, sure, they’ve fought a lot and played dirty little tricks. But they turn each other on. She may not like that he cheated on her, but she still wants him. He scoffs and she gets up to leave, saying angrily, “You know what, I have never offered myself to any man. I have always been the one to turn my back and I have never changed my mind. Until now.”
“I’m sorry,” he stops her and asks her to stay. He admits the blond was just a game and Maria is nothing compared to Tracy. “And that is the truth.” It appears they are reconciled.
“A word of warning,” Tracy says.
“Don’t need it.”
“You do. On more mistake-“
“Won’t be one.”
“If there is... you are a dead man.” She’s deadly serious.
“You got nothing to worry about,” he smiles.

Big surprise, Deirdre and Ken are confounded by Tracy’s choices. One would think they’d get used to this by now but no. Ken can’t see the sense and Deirdre’s practically in hysterics, “What are we going to do?!”
Blanche is of the wise opinion they should just stay out of it. “She’ll do whatever she likes, without regard for any of us. She always has.” Too true.

“It’s good to have you home,” Charlie says to Tracy. He promises he will earn her trust again.
“Don’t promise what you can’t deliver, Charlie,” she replies.
But he insists he's letting her tame him. They decide to announce their reconciliation by stepping out into the garden. Everyone attending the Platt’s bonfire can witness they’re back together.

Charlie pulls Tracy close to him and gazes up at the fireworks. Tracy looks up at him with an expression that can only be described as perfect loathing. (I actually got chills. Well done, Kate Ford!)

In Other News:

At the pub, Sarah tells Jason about family counseling. He says he’d never go to family counseling with his mom because they’d be sat there all day. He invites her out for Bonfire Night but she opts to stay home. Jason looks hurt and Sarah appears to feel bad. Will there be another reconciliation?

Hayley is upset that the church group wants her to work with ex-offenders. They’re discriminating against her because she’s a transsexual. Emily defends the group, saying it’s not the Church, it’s a few individuals. Mostly they’re just curious. Hayley insists that she’s being discriminated against.

It comes out that the boys’ club, meaning Tyrone, Kevin, Les and Bill, ended up at a lap dancing club the night before. Les accidentally spills the beans to Molly, who promptly confines Tyrone to barracks. Later, Tyrone admits to Les that he couldn’t resist the girls because they were wearing all these whispy things, all pink and gold and tassels 'n that….

At the bonfire, Molly tells Sally about it and Sally, rather surprisingly, takes it all good naturedly, playfully attacking her husband with a tea towel.

Saturday, July 28, 2007


Good Saturday Morning, All!

My update won't crafted until tomorrow. But I did have time to catch last night's episode - wowee! Did you see the look Tracy gave him at the end? What the 'eck is going on?

And how do you all feel about what's going on between Frankie and Jamie? Because frankly, their scenes make me squirm a bit.

Discuss. I'll use y'all for inspiration.

Working From Home Today

Friday, July 27, 2007

For Tom


In spite of all temptation,
To belong to other nations,
He remains an Englishman.
Er bleibt ein Eng-lääääääääääään-der!!!!!!

Enjoy darling...while I just go enjoy some cheese and haggis.

Kiss Me, Hardy

It has been far too long since we have had an obscure British history post. Yesterday another milestone was reached when our delightful muse Jacqueline created post #1805 on our happy little blog. The year 1805 also happens to be a significant date for our cousins across the pond, when Admiral Lord Nelson defeated those cheese eating surrender monkeys (also known as the French) at The Battle of Trafalgar, thus preserving the British hegemony of the oceans.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Update - July 26 "Our (disputed) House"

Who's House Is It Anyway?

Well, it's Charlie's of course, but that doesn't stop Tracy from beginning her morning by yelling at him in the street that she wants him out of the house.

"I don't do guilt and I don't give away houses," Charlie, pointing out that he, in fact, owns the house. "So either we kiss and make up or you're the one that's out. Which?"

Tracy insists that he'll be the one moving out and walks off down the road. Charlie at this point calls to Jason and says, "Let's get this done."

Later, Charlie and Jason have installed new locks on the doors. Meanwhile, Maria walks by and Charlie calls out to her, leaving her frightened.

At No. 1, Tracy sits at the dining room table wondering what she's going to do. She says she's entitled to that house as much as Charlie.

Have you no pride?" asks Blanche. "Do you not care what folk think about you? That you must be soft in the head putting up with his behaviour."

Tracy says he's made a fool of her, and now he's going to pay.

Meanwhile, Violet spots Jason and Charlie hauling several garbage bags in the back alley behind the Rovers. The bags are deposited in the back garden of the Barlows. He texts Tracy to inform her of the new situation.

"That rat!" she exclaims. It looks like Tracy is moving back in with the Barlows after all.

Tracy tries to find Charlie, but to no avail. Later that evening, she and Deirdre spy Charlie coming out of a taxi with a recently acquired bird. He makes a show of kissing her in full view of Tracy and her mother, as well as a bemused Cilla and Yana, who themselves appear to be out on the pull.

Tracy looks furious, yet quietly resolved.

"I swear," she says. "I am going to kill him."

The Family Platt in Therapy

At Gail's, David wonders what the point of this therapy session is. Audrey can't tell him and he wonders, given Sarah's attitude toward him, if it's going to be a blame David session.

Later on after work and school, Simone, the counsellor arrives. After a bit of coaxing, Audrey, Gail, Sarah, and David (no Bethany), sit down and start talking. Simone asks them to think of her as a referee, but with no red or yellow cards. David asks if there are penalties for head-butts as his middle name is Zidane.

Simone asks the family to each define their roles. Gail says she is mother, cook, cleaner, babysitter, blinker, and only gets help when she asks for it. Sarah is a mother and apprentice hair-dresser. Audrey is mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother and a business owner. David says his role is to make life interesting. Audrey thinks her family has had its ups and downs but on the whole, they're tight.

Sarah starts pointing out some of the things David has done (the lies about being bullied, the Richard Hillman cards) but every time the truth comes out, Audrey hushes her up.

Simone asks everyone if they had a wish to change one thing about their family, what would it be? Gail says she wishes she was smarter in her choice of men. Sarah wants David to go and live somewhere else. Audrey wishes everyone were a little nicer to each other. David, in a rare moment of honesty, wishes he was someone else, because he doesn't like who he is.

Bill Will Fix It

Bill is cutting quite a swath across Coronation Street. He puts up shelves for Audrey and says he may ask a favour in return and starts flirting with her. He later tells Kevin his secret to a successful marriage is to keep your wife in another country as much as possible. Later he goads Kevin into coming out for a pint later on with him, on a school night, no less. Bill thinks the women in Weatherfield must have big thumbs to keep all the men under them.


Cilla and Yana discuss the pros and cons of cosmetic surgery. Cilla wants her breasts streamlined, even if Les says he likes her just the way she is. Later, Yana admits she'd like some botox as she worries about wrinkles. Cilla chalks that up to her being skinny and not have firm skin like her.

They both admit they don't have the money and Cilla thinks Yana would look very funny with one eyebrow injected. Yana thinks Cilla would look silly with one breast done, too.

In other news

Frankie pushes Danny on the move to Spain. He finally gives in. It looks like they're moving.

Character Profile: Bill Webster


Okay, I don't have a hell of a lot of info on him, but just for those of you who are curious, this is the scoop on Kev's dad, Bill.

He came on the show in 1984 (two years before Kevin) after his wife died. He was living in No.11 and worked in Len Faircloughs yard. He ends up falling for Percy Sugden's (Glacia sighs) niece Elaine, with whom he moves to Southhampton and then to Germany

That marriage ends after she has an affair and he's back on the street where he gets involved with Maureen Holdsworth after her husband Reg buggers off. Now, this was 1995 and somewhere between then and 1997, Maureen becomes involved with Fred instead. However, Maureen RUNS off with Bill only 10 days after her marriage to Fred. (I was not watching Corrie 1996-1997 at the time so cannot comment on that.)

He was also business partners with Jim McDonald and had worked at the Rovers. Bill had Kevin and Deborah by his first wife Allison and son Carl with Eileen.

I remember Bill as being a fairly decent guy (despite snatching Maureen away from Fred). I don't remember any history he and Audrey had as the last time I saw him, Alf was still alive.

BTW - DON'T do the Wikipedia search on Bill if you want to stay naive about upcoming plots. There are huge spoilers on Bill's write up.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Update - July 25 - "Fidelity seems like such a quaint concept"

Previously on Coronation Street

Maria told Tracy. There was massive fight on the street. Then a big fight with Charlie. Tracy's ringtone for Charlie is "Don't Cha" by The Pussycat Dolls.

Because All Relationships Can Be Measured in Money Spent

It's breakfast at Stubbs-Barlow residence but Tracy, standing in front of her "GEMS" refrigerator, is angrily buttering some toast and is definitely not speaking to Charlie. He wants to make up but she wants to know how many other tarts he has stashed away. He says Maria was the only one but Tracey says she wants him out.

Meanwhile, at the Platts, David shocks his family by casually announcing he's going back to school. The reason why is obvious as, heading out the door, David sees Charlie and ducks behind a wheelie bin, completely terrified.

Stubbs sees Maria and tells her she blew her chance.

"Chance at what?" Maria asks. "To be lied to and humiliated like Tracy?"

"You've never had another man like me," Charlie says. "You said that more than once."

"Yeah and now I'll never want another one," Maria retorts, perhaps thinking of her last long term boyfriend Tyrone.

As Charlie leaves, David pops out from behind his wheelie bin refuge and tells Maria that he's sure Charlie is going to blame him for the trouble he caused. Maria thinks his main priority is getting back Tracy but David think otherwise, being well acquainted with nutters.

In the Salon, Audrey tries to get Maria to feel better by telling her she's not the first woman to make a mistake like that and she will likely make the same kind of mistake. Maria is certain she'll never be that stupid again but Audrey says she's made enough mistakes in her life to know that's not true.

Later, Charlie comes into the Salon and tells Maria he's evicting her from the flat. Audrey tries to protest that Charlie needs to first give notice but Maria stops her, telling her it's ok. Given the dodgy nature of tenants' rights in Weatherfield, I guess he can evict her on a whim.

Fizz says Maria can move back in with her. Audrey notes that orgasms men like Charlie come and go but friends like Fizz are forever.

Meanwhile at Tracy's, Deirdre tries to convince Tracy to take Amy and come home. Ken reiterates this at the Kabin. Tracy notes that it's quite a twist, everyone feeling sorry for her.

In the Rovers, Maria sees that everyone is talking about her. Nevertheless, Liam, having finally put two and two together, asks her on a date.

In the café, Roy thinks that to today's generation, fidelity seems like such a quaint concept. Ken thinks his relationship with Hayley shows love can overcome all obstacles, what with her being transcendental and all.

Charlie arrives home to find his things in a bag outside the door. Tracy tries to keep him out but he pushes past her. He reminds her that he bought the house. Tracy agrees but counters that it is a home to her and Amy. Charlie points out that her home is across the street. Tracy says that they were once a proper couple but Charlie's ruined it all and now he has to pay.

Charlie says that he indeed paid for it all: The house, the clothing, the fake abortion. He then gets his bag, bringing it inside and tells her that she can pack her own bags because he is staying.

"Me too!" yells Tracy.

Oh dear.

The Weatherfield Players Present: "Woody and Soon-Yi: A Love Story"

Jamie takes the letters from Frankie's mailbox and goes to the Rovers to give them to her, along with a letter of his own, spelling out his feelings for her. She goes to the very clean ladies' bog to read it but is interupted by Joanne. When she comes back out, Jamie gives her the Manson Lamps and goes outside.

She finds him in his van. She gets in. She says she's scared of her feelings. Jamie says that means she feels the same way. Then they kiss. Like, really kiss. I think I actually yelled out "Boooo!" but it's all hazy.

Then she runs out of the van and back into the Rovers. There she finds Danny and immediately suggests they move to Spain. Like right now!

Chesney the Paper Boy

On his first day of the new job, Norris nags Chesney about making sure he gets the route done in time for his classes. When he returns, he asks Norris for his money. Norris tells him that he gets his pay at the end of a full day's work, something with which the residents of Battersby-Brown manor are unfamiliar. Nothing like kicking the working classes while they're down.

Sophie's New Shoes

Sophie is complaining that her new dance teacher will have her head if she shows up wearing her worn out shoes. Rosie offers a pair of hers but Sophie rejects the offer, claiming they are minging. So Bill Webster buys a new pair for Sophie and a gift card for Rosie, just she doesn't feel left out.

Meanwhile, Bill appears to be putting the moves on Audrey, claiming she's a beautiful as ever and offering to put up a set of shelves in the back room for the price of a hair cut. Bill is, of course, still married to Maureen.

The Situation With the Update - Or Why I Hate Rogers and My Neighbour's Not Making Me Happy Either.

Okay guys...so not only did I not make it home in time for Corrie last night (Mainly because I was drinking my anger away over my neighbour, who, not satisfied with one Earthdestroyer 2000 SUV to take her latte endowed ass 4 blocks to work - has parked a second monstrosity in the parking spot I own. Okay, yeah, I don't own a car, a driver's license or any idea of how to operate a motor vehicle, but really, it's the principle of the thing.) but also, when I tried to watch it this afternoon I found out that this new fangled PVR thing didn't record it.


Now, I HARDLY want to give up the chance to write about any cat fight on the Street or about certain people's ring tones...but unfortunately I'll have to wait until after the episode shows again on Sunday.

Until then, here's what I gathered what happened.

Marie tells Tracey about the 'affair'.

Tracey doesn't believe it, but Maria offers proof by describing the tattoo Charlie has on a very secret part of his body. (Rumour is it's the name 'Glacia' with a line through it).

Cat fight ensues.

Charlie smirks a lot and lies.

Deidre worries about Tracey.

Tracey storms off, thinks by the canal, her phone goes off and because it's Charlie, she throws it in the canal. Tracey goes back to Charlie's place and tells him he has to buy her a new phone.

He sleeps on the couch.

In other news, Norris is back and gives Chesney the job as delivery boy...on a trial basis.

Bill is on the street again.

Jamie is creeping me out.

Haley talks to Emily about volunteering. (Why do I feel like this is going to be another Cropper plot that goes nowhere?)

So there you have it. When I see the episode, I'll do a proper update. For those of you who can't wait, go to here and then scroll to the bottom and read the last half of the Oct 30th update

Please Stand By

Hi guys,

I got in late last night and haven't had a chance to watch the recorded episode of Corrie yet.

I'll get the update on here later today.


Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Corrie Gossip

See, I'm a dweeb.

CorrieLover USA had some late breaking gossip, which is very hot, and yours truly didn't think to actually post it as an entry.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway, it's pretty big news and it deals with one of the characters/actors who's been on the show longer than some of you have been alive. (No worries, puppets, they're not killing Ken off).

So for those of you who want to know and don't mind the spoiler....here it is.

Also, as far a spoiler goes, it probably ranks as a 5...nothing that's going to spoil your show watching as it's public news in the UK. However, for those of you who want to be kept completely in the dark, you might not want to click.

CorrieLover USA - a great big Corrie Canuck cheer for the info!

Monday, July 23, 2007

Update for Episode # 6413 July 23, 2007

Charlie gets some inspiration of what to do with David in the tub.

David and Goliath

Young Platt and the resident builder meet on the street. Charlie tells his young nemesis that he is 'dead meat' and can hardly wait for the time when it is only 'you, me and my steel capped boots.' Sounds like my old highschool days. Anywho, after this little pissing contest Tracey comes out of the house and walks up to Charlie. David, seemingly unfazed by the earlier conversation, asks her 'Alright? Who did your hair, my Gran or (long dramatic pause) Maria? Tracey looks confused, Charlie looks pensive, David looks smarmy.

David goes to The Salon and whinges to Maria about how Charlie is using her, and how he is never going to leave Tracey for Maria. Maria defends what she and Charlie are doing, saying 'me and Charlie are playing the long game.'*

A while later Charlie and Maria are having a chat about their future. Again. This of course gets them in the mood for a little horizontal limbo. We next see Charlie pulling on his boots (like Captain Kirk after he had shagged some hot alien babe) when he tells Maria to 'get me (Sir) Bob Geldof on the phone.' Maria wonders why, to which Charlie replies 'what's not to like about Mondays?'** (I'm guessing it's a Monday in the Coronation Street timeline) Charlie and his bit on the side then have a chat about meeting the parents and that sort of thing, regular relationship stufff. Maria tells Charlie about what David said in regard to him not leaving Tracey anytime soon, and then she goes back to work.

Charlie, left on his own in the flat, gets an evil glint in his eye, picks up Maria's phone and sends a 'come hither you young stud' text to David. Just like Papa Smurf is his glory days. Sigh.

David is sat at the kitchen table stuffing his face while Gail natters on. He gets the text that he thinks is from Maria and scurries upstairs to have a shower and ready for some action.

Gail wonders if texting might be the best way for them to communicate.

David shows up at Maria's door and is quite shocked when Charlie opens it and hauls him in by the scruff of his neck. He drags David upstairs and runs the bath. Charlie, exhibiting all the classic signs of a sociopath, remembers how his mother was a nasty piece of work, asks how his business is any of David's business, tells David that he has been a busy little bee, asks some obscure rhetorical questions, all while repeatedly holding David's head under water and pretending to drown him. Charlie notes that David should be an old hand at this, since he was almost drowned in the canal and all back in the Richard Hillman days.

Maria eventually shows up and puts an end to the torture session. David says Charlie waa trying to drown him and rushes out. Charlie tries to make up some excuse about David trying to have a bath while Maria was out and how they should bring back the National Service but she isn't buying it and tells Charlie he has to go.

David, looking like a drowned rat, slinks home and upstairs to calm his nerves with a little death metal music. Gail shouts at him but gets no reply. She admits that 'the counselor should have a field day with this family.'

Charlie tells Maria not to be too hasty, she's all riled up - 'the prat strikes again.' Once again they discuss thier relationship. Charlie points out that many relationships start messily and end messily. He is only showing some compassion for Tracey and Amy but not just ending it right away, pardon him for having a scrap of integrity. Maria seems to have had enough of his blather, and tells Charlie that 'sometimes to make an omelette you have to crack a few eggs, drown a few schoolboys.' She storms out, having left the impression that she is indeed going to tell Tracey what has been going on.

The Battersby-Browns

Ches comes down the stairs holding a very tired shoe and tells his parents that these trainers are embarrassing. Cilla tells him to send them to Lorraine Kelly,*** because she loves everything after all. Cilla notes that if Queen Victoria were still on the throne, Ches would probably be married with 4 kids by now and he wouldn't be sponging off his parents. Ah that good old Victorian era. Les points out that Ches has 'the work ethic' and he should get a job, like a paperboy perhaps.

Later in the Cafe Cilla moans about the elevated staus of kids in western societies. She can hardly wait for Ches to leave home, and as far as Fiz goes 'if she ever starts sprogging, that's her problem.' Maternal love.

The Kabin

It seems that Rita has injured her leg somehow in Budapest (no doubt from kicking Norris in the ass) and has developed deep vein thrombosis and won't be able to fly back for 3 weeks. Norris is on the way back but Ken has to man The Kabin for another day. Cilla brings Chesney in for a job as paperboy but Ken tells her that he is just filling in and has no authority to hire anyone, no matter the job or the qualifications. 'It's not MI6' notes Cilla and departs after teling Ken he is a 'typical (Manchester) Guardian reader, all talk and no do.'

Haley and Rosie bump into each other in The Kabin. Haley tells Rosie that she had recieved a postcard from Craig, and how he must miss her. Rosie asks Haley if he actually said that in the postcard. Haley looks confused.

Emily tells Haley she should do some volunteer work.

Les and Cilla give Ken some stick while he is having lunch in The Rovers.

Roys Rolls

Oedipus - er Jamie stops by the Cafe to visit his step-mom, aka Frankie, and behaves poorly. Same creepy old story. Shower time for Papa Smurf, be right back.

Later on some flowers show up for Frankie. Roy and Haley think they are from Danny and comment on how great it is that romance is alive and well. The flowers are actually from Jamie though, so Frankie makes up some excuses about how their place already looks like a florist shop, and gives the flowers to Haley.

A brief aside - I always enjoy the music that is playing in the Cafe.

The Websters

Sophie is giving her love sick sister a hard time about the dearth of correspondence she has been receiving from Kraig.**** 'Ich would write more, but my heart is kaput' mocks Sophie. Sal tells her youngest to show some sensitivity. Sophie points out that they don't teach sensitivity at her cheap school. Sal isn't impressed.

Kev is on the phone with his dad, who it turns out is coming to visit at 4:00 that afternoon. Since the place is a right tip, Sal tells Rosie to get the place cleaned up. Rosie puts on her whiny face and tells Sal that Granddad coming to visit is a reminder of the whole Paris scenario and how can she possibly clean the house with all that anguish. Sal says she understands and tells Rosie to be sure to clean under the rim of the toilet.

Rosie then spends the rest of the day avoiding doing any work and worrying about Kraig, off in the land of square-headed people, snogging buxom beer babes in Berlin.

Actually that sounds pretty good, I might just join Kraig for a bit.

*Long game - soccer reference to playing the long pass from defence to the forwards, bypassing the midfield. Usually the sign of a shite team resorting to desperate measures. Similar to the state of Charlie and Maria's relationship.

**Famous hit song I Don't Like Mondays written by Sir Bob Geldof (of BandAid fame) and recorded by The Boomtown Rats on the album The Fine Art of Surfacing circa 1979. In a weird twist the album was produced by Mutt Lange, husband of Shania Twain.

***Lorraine Kelly is an ITV presenter, who is quite vivacious and attractive for a woman of her years, quite unlike Cilla, hence explaining her poor attitude towards the television.

****Germanic spelling.

And if that wasn't happy news enough....

Our Shatnerian and Kowy are FREAKING engaged!!!!!

Saturday, July 21, 2007

There's Amber! Update

Son Still In Love With Step-Mom, Father Oblivious

It’s Sunday morning and Danny urges Frankie to take the day off, maybe even quit her job at the cafe now that they’re back together. But she doesn’t want to lose her independence. They decide to work for a bit and then take a lovely drive out to a country pub for Sunday lunch.

Later at the office, Liam stops in to get his football shoes in time to get landed with Danny’s weekend workload. Danny suggests to Frankie they invite Jamie along for lunch. She says it’s too soon but Danny says Jamie’s got to learn to accept things sooner rather than later. She can’t disagree.

Of course the confrontation doesn’t go well. Danny invites Jamie to get everything off his chest. Jamie wryly asks Frankie if she wants him to say what’s really on his mind. She replies that she’d like him to accept that she and Danny belong together.
“He’s not right for you,” Jamie says.
“He’s more right than anyone else,” she says.
“Jamie, son, why can’t you just be happy for us?” Danny asks, oblivious to the real conversation going on here.

Danny concedes that Jamie needs more time and leaves. Frankie hangs back a mo’ when Jamie asks her if she really believes it would be wrong between them. She says of course it would be wrong and he knows it. He says that no matter what she thinks, Danny is still wrong for her. She doesn’t love him. “You only went running back after that kiss,” he says and adds that there’s nothing stopping them from being together.
“I’m with your dad,” she says.
He insists again that they belong together. She walks away.

Bev Pours Herself A Drink

Claire and Ashley examine the contents of the gravy granules jar. Ashley hopes it isn’t just the remnants of the Rovers’ ashtrays. Claire says it’s been a long time since her dad died, but she thinks it’s the real thing. Ashley thinks Fred wouldn’t appreciate this indignity, half of him in a gravy jar and the other half scattered at a lay-by on the A54. Claire eyes up a more respectable macaroni jar but decides against it. She advises him to speak to Bev.

At the Rover’s, Liz is trying politely to tell Bev to sling her ‘ook. She asks if Bev wouldn’t be better off with family. After all, she must be annoyed with Liz constantly under her feet and now that the sale is going through and Steve is moving in, right?
“Do you want me to move on?” Bev finally clues in.
“In your own time. There’s no rush,” Liz replies hurriedly.
Bev takes that as an invitation to stay. They trip over who gets to open the pub and Liz finally says, “it’s my job. Okay?”

So Bev returns to her new hobby, gin. Michelle arrives for work and Bev goes off about her being an hour late, saying that Michelle’s taking advantage of a grieving widow, etc., etc..
“The clocks went back last night, Bev,” Michelle finally interrupts, “I’m five minutes early.” Oh.

By the time Ashley finds Bev, she’s three sheets to the wind. She wonders if they shouldn’t divide Fred into thirds so that Audrey can have her bit, too, and they all know which part Audrey would want. Gail informs her that she’s embarrassing herself.
“You call this embarrassing?” Bev replies, “ you try standing at the altar while your fiancé dies in his fancy woman’s boudoir.”
“If you loved him as much as you say you did, you’d want him all in one piece,” Ashley says.
Bev crumples into tears once more, “I want him here right now in one piece, explaining himself!”
Ashley excuses himself and leaves. Liz chases after him into the street to say that when she agreed to buy the pub, Bev wasn’t part of the fixtures and fittings. Ashley replies that it’s not his problem, he has enough to deal with. Liz appears to have a pickle on her hands (booze… pickled… get it?).

Amber! Look Everyone, It’s Amber! Plus Some Cilla, Jason and Sarah Stuff.

At the Café, Amber plops a magazine down in front of Yana and Cilla, saying how disgusting it is that baboons and guinea pigs only have to wiggle their bums and all the girls come running.
“Works for me,” Cilla says, admiring Jason’s ass, which is displayed to full advantage as he waits for his breakfast order. Cilla thinks he might be doing it for her but Amber thinks it’s rather for Sarah, who is sitting off to the side looking despondent.

Sure enough, Jason asks if he can join her. “Free country,” Sarah replies. She asks why he’s eating at the Café, is it because it’s a crowded house back home? He reiterates that Violet is just a lodger. He has no choice. He asks why she’s at the Café. She tells him not to talk with his mouth full.
“Sorry,” he says and she smiles a little.
Turns out she’s had it with the drama David’s creating at home. She tells him how Gail wants them all to have counseling, saying that maybe he should come, too, and explain why he sneaked out on their wedding day.
“Well, at least I didn’t die on ya,” he jokes.
“What, like Billy did?”
His face falls. Sarah admits she only said it to make him feel bad. “Maybe counseling wouldn’t be such a bad idea,” she adds. He offers to come with her.

Amber, Cilla and Yana continue to discuss the mating rituals of various wildlife. The rattlesnake will battle just to get a female’s attention. Cilla likes that, says she’s a bit of a romantic deep down. Amber says the rattlesnake wasn’t meant to be the romantic example. Cilla tells her to wait until two men fight over her.
“Then you’ll understand,” Yana agrees.
Amber says the romantic one is the grasshopper, who has over 400 songs with which to serenade you.
“Wouldn’t do no grasshopper,” Cilla looks disgusted.
“Although, I did once have a thing for Kung Fu,” Yana says dreamily.

Apparently the Bower Bird builds the best nest it can and then females fly from nest to nest and pick the one they like the most. Yana says the perfect mate would be half Bower bird, half grasshopper and half rattlesnake. Cilla says the perfect man just walked in, referring to Liam. Amber tells her to get real. Yana agrees that Cilla is about 20 years too late.
“Yeah, but I don’t look that old, do I?” Cilla asks and then asks Amber, “how old do would you say I was?”

Cut to the counter where Liam asks Frankie if she’s happy with Danny, to which she replies, “I think so.” Then cut back to Cilla who is stomping angrily out of the cafe.
“If you don’t want the answer, don’t ask the question,” Amber says to Yana.

Jason walks Sarah home. He asks her if she misses him but she avoids the question by commenting on the rental van parked in front of her house.
“Sarah, I miss you. And I still love you. And I wish we were married. And if I could do it again, we would be,” he says, all sad puppy dog eyes.
“Well, you can’t. And even if I did feel the same way about you, we won’t ever get our wedding day back, will we?” she replies. There’s nothing he can say. She walks away.

It turns out Cilla was really upset by Amber’s comment on her age. She says it would have been better coming from someone like Janice, a jealous rival. “Water off a duck’s back.” But coming from Amber, it’s more like “from the mouths of babes.”
“She’s just a daft kid,” Yana says, “you’re the babe.”
Cilla thinks she’s let herself go and needs to do something about it. Yana suggests joining a gym, eating right and giving up the booze. But Cilla’s thinking more like a facelift.

Place Your Bets!

Oh no, David’s at the Cabin hunting for a card. It really is his signature. I believe that when he eventually becomes a serial killer, he’ll always leave a thoughtful and well-chosen sympathy card.

Ken is under the mistaken impression that the card is for Bev. David asks after Tracy, whether she’s happy living over the road with Charlie, whether it will last. Ken replies that only time will tell. David says that Bev’s situation proves there could be anything around the corner. He’s only sorry he didn’t get a card to her sooner.

“You know, I don’t care what they say about the youth of today,” Ken says to Cilla as David leaves, “sometimes they can really surprise you. I mean, he’s got his problems but he’s growing up to be a really nice young man.”

The nice young man is doing his level best to torture Tracy and Charlie. He kicks the football against the rental van so that the alarm goes off multiple times, and on Sunday morning, too! Tracy is confounded by his behavior but she doesn’t make the connection when she finds a sympathy card slid through the mail slot. The inscription says, Expressing sincerest sympathy to you in your sorrows. The handwritten note says, “Sorry to hear Charlie’s been such a bad boy! You must be devastated.” Underlined.

Charlie knows damn well who it is, but tells Tracy it’s probably a joke, perhaps someone angry at a job or something. Tracy thinks it’s from Bev because of Shelley’s baby. Bev could be taking her misery out on others. Charlie thinks the best thing to do is forget about it but Tracy’s determined to confront Bev.

The problem is that it’s soon pretty clear drunken Bev has no clue what she’s talking about. Tracy is as confused as ever. Charlie overhears that David’s home alone for at least the next hour while Gail takes a much needed break at the Rover’s. He decides to go “move the van,” which is Charlie speak for “teach David a lesson.”

He backs the van up to the Platt’s door. He opens the back door, knocks on the Platt's door and grabbing hold of David, tosses him into the back.
“Touch me and I’ll report you!” David yells.
“I’ve had enough of you,” Charlie hisses. He is just about to tell David what happened to the weasely little kid who blackmailed him in school when Liam opens the door of the van, “what’s going on?”
Charlie tells Liam that he was just trying to teach David a lesson, since Gail can’t seem to keep him in line. The damage to his truck cost over 600 quid.
“You don’t want to make an enemy out of me,” Charlie pats David on the cheek.
“I’d stay clear of him in future,” Liam says to David.
“Oh, I can handle him,” David says with a smirk.
And I’m honestly not sure who to put my money on.

Friday, July 20, 2007


Everytime I see David poking the bear...this keeps running through my head.



What do you get when you bother a stubs?
Scratching his van and breaking his hubs?
Blackmail and smirking are never the way
Charlie tends to have the last say




Thursday, July 19, 2007

Update for Episode # 6411 July 19, 2007

The Family Platt take part in some group therapy sessions.

Tracey gazes out the window into the garden and sees David lurking there, staring into her window, looking more than a bit crazed. She calls for Charlie and they ask David what he is doing in the yard. 'Gettin me ball' he tells them before he slinks back over the fence into his own yard. Charlie looks pensive.

Back in the Platt flat Gail brings up the notion of the whole family going to therapy in order to help David in his time of need. Sarah, who seems to have grown a spine and a brain lately, points out that what David needs most is a kick up the backside, and if he isn't interested in going to therapy, she sure as hell isn't going to therapy either.

Later in the street David is hanging around as usual when Tracey and Charlie saunter along. Young Platt gives her a wolf whistle. Tracey responds with 'get lost you little freak'. Charlie looks pensive.

Maria, having overseen this little contretemps, whinges to David that he promised he wouldn't do anything to get between her and Charlie.

Charlie and Jason discover the vandalism that has been done to the truck. Jason wonders if was some kids having a laugh or a jealous husband getting revenge. Charlie calls Jason a pillock. He knows exactly who did the damage. Charlie looks pensive.

David and Charlie walk by each other in the street and have a staredown. Very manly.

Fiz and Maria have a drink in The Rovers. Fiz natters on about how difficult it is to buy a tire for her scooter. Maria is a bit distracted though, as she is eavesdropping on the conversation that Tracey and Deirdre are having about Charlie. Tracey insists it is true love. Deirdre insists it is only a question of time before Charlie plays away agin. Maria wonders which of the women is right.

When the post arrives at the builders yard David once again is lurking across the street. In the post for Charlie is a Good Luck card that has 'Tut, tut, tut, What will Tracey say?' inscribed inside. Having had plenty of experience writing cards designed to upset people, David gets the desired response from Charlie, who goes to pay a visit on Maria to make sure that she has her young boyfriend on a tight leash. Maria comments that it might be alright if Tracey found out, then Charlie and Maria could be together. Charlie assures that her that he has a plan for them to be together, but he has to act carefully because Tracey is a right nutter and one has no idea how she would react if she found out.

Danny and Frankie have a chat in the kitchen after their night of reunion passion. They ask each other 'how was it for you?' as if they are young and in love. Frankie seems unconvinced about what she is doing but Danny tells her 'I can't remember when I was this happy.' This is all going to end badly, mark my words.

Jamie and Violet are having a bit of pleasant banter in the pub. Jamie is in the middle of a joke and as he is about to deliver the punchline Frankie walks in, which causes Jamie to leave - in the middle of the joke. Violet and Frankie have a heart to heart about Jamie. Violet can't understand why Jamie can seem to be interested in her one minute, and then is completely changed the next. (hint - think of the step-mom) Frankie wishes the two of them could get back together again.

Frankie stops in at her old house to pick up a few things. She talks to Jamie about Violet. Jamie wants to talk about his feelings for Frankie. Frankie tells her step-son that things have to go back to the way they used to be. Jamie tells her that he is not going to kid himself, at least he is being true to his feelings.

For some reason I feel like I have to have a shower every time Frankie and Jamie have one of these conversations.

Bev is perched on her usual bar, four sheets to the wind, with Fred sat beside her. (in ash form mind you) Sarah come up to the bar to get in the drinks and Bev decides to stick her oar in, telling Sarah that she is going to end up as a scarlet woman, just like her grandmother Audrey - it's in the genes you know. Jason, holding up the bar, defends sarah by asking Bev if that means that Shel is going to end being a bar stool like her mom. Bev is speechless. Sarah and Jason share 'that' look as she makes her way back to the table to where Audrey and Gail are sat waiting. Having seen the look between Jason and Sarah, Gail wonders if her daughter has lost her mind. This bit of madness seeming to be the last straw, Gail announces in no uncertain terms that the whole family is going to therapy, and there will be no discussion on the matter.

In The Kabin Ken is on the phone with Norris for the third time that morning to make sure everything is running smoothly. Blanche comes in, and after making sure there are no security cameras around, tries to get Ken to go along her scheme to take all the scratch and win tickets home, scratch them all to find the winner and pay for the other tickets with the proceeds. Ken tells her in no uncertain terms that he is not going along with the scheme. Blanche leaves in a huff.

Later Blanche returns to The Kabin to pick up her horoscope magazine and newspaper. Apparently her horoscope says it will be a lucky day for her. Ken points out that it means it will be a lucky day for 1/12 of the population - if horoscopes are true. Blanche tries to leave without paying. Ken says she has to pay. Blanche leaves without her magazine and a parting word from Ken 'not such good luck after all.'

Adam comes in to give his grandfather a bit of a break. Ken returns a while later to do some more work and Blanche returns for her magazine. Bev stumbles in at this point clutching a golf magazine. She is irate at the lack of sensitivity shown by delivering the magazine (which was a subscription Fred had but was to have been cancelled) on his birthday of all days. It turns out Adam had shown some intiative and organized that delivery. Adam apologozes, it was his fault. Ken apologizes, he should have noticed. Blanche wonders what Norris will think of all this when he returns. Ken points out that it isn't really his fault, Norris should have updated the lists. In the end Ken buys Blanche's silence with a free magazine and newspaper - which he will pay for out of his own pocket mind you.

David and Charlie have a few heated words on the street. David tells Charlie if he lays a finger on him he will tell all to Tracey. The only way to insure his silence would be to kill him - and is Maria really worth it? It appears that David has the upper hand. Charlie looks pensive.

David v. Goliath - er Charlie

Happy B-day Shatnerian

A big sexy Happy Birthday shout out to our own Shatner - Corrie Canuck, Executive.


An extraordinary man who's brought a new level of wit to Corrie Canuck.

One of my favorite stories about Shatnerian is waiting in line with him to see Jenny McAlpine (aka Fizz) and listening to him explain the name 'Shatnerian' and at that point, his cell phone went off with the theme from Star Trek as the ring tone (or was it the badge comm thingy tone?).

So happy bday guy...and because I can't be there to sing it in person, here's yer song...in polish.

Sto lat, sto lat,
Niech żyje, żyje nam.
Sto lat, sto lat,
Niech żyje, żyje nam,
Jeszcze raz, jeszcze raz, niech żyje, żyje nam,
Niech żyje nam!

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Update - Legyen szíves kifogás a barátom. Ő birtokol elmebeli probléma.

Walking Tall

Charlie finds David kicking a ball about in his yard. Dirty looks are exchanged. Gail comes out to tell him that a social worker is coming 'round today to discuss he's not going to school so he might want to stick around. David opts for Option B: Skulking About, so he misses the appointment. Maria walks by on her way to work but she too, gets a dirty look.

Gail later tells the social worker/lady from the school that she's tried everything with David. The woman suggests that often in these cases, there are external factors at work. Like the barmy case of the Platt family. She also suggests that if everyone went in for group therapy, it might make David feel less of a target.

Later, Gail keeps this advice in mind as David eats a salad sans forchette, and tells him she'll be in his face every minute of every day until he shapes up. There is some yelling and he storms out.

Later at Maria's David is showing her what a big man he is by drinking two whole beers and making her life with some innuendo about Blanche's sex life. He then asks what she sees in Charlie and what's more, why wouldn't she be interested in him. She laughs it off and then claims he's her "bezzy mate" and besides, there is too much of an age difference. And she's 164% hotter than he is.

Meanwhile in the Batcave, Charlie spies on Maria's door with his CCTV, knowing that David is there. He calls and asks to come 'round. Maria agrees and shoves David out the door, claiming that if he really were her "bezzy mate," he'd understand her need for dirty sexual things.

David leaves but skulks outside her place. Inside, Maria admits to an understandably upset Charlie knows about them. However she claims that David will do whatever she wants as he has a little crush on her. He won't say a word, she claims.

After Charlie leaves, David re-emerges from the shadows, takes a 2x4 with a nail in it from Charlie's truck and starts going Joe Don Baker on the door and tires.

Speaking of Bezzy Mates

Things are still tenuous between Frankie and Danny. She's still in the spare room at his flat and Danny remarks that it is as though the two are total strangers.

Later, Frankie has joined Deirdre, Eileen, and Liz for their daily knees-up. Eileen does a sensitive impression of drunken Bev talking to Fred's ashes.

They ask Frankie about the situation with Danny. She says they are taking things slowly. Liz translates that to mean they aren't sleeping together. Eileen wonders if she's still punishing him for some long forgotten sin. What was it? Oh yeah, sleeping with his son's fiance.

Frankie takes this conversation to heart and goes home full of booze to Danny, where they postpone a take-out in favour of sex.

Magyar Misadventure

It's the day of the big weekend in Budapest and Norris shows up at Ken's at 5:30 in the morning to remind him to make sure the papers are ready at 7:00am.

Later at the Kabin, Norris is still nagging Ken about his retail skills.

"Just giving him the benefit of my experience while I'm still around," he tells Rita.

"If you're talking about your time on earth, it'll be shortlived!" Ken retorts.

"Legyen szíves kifogás a barátom. Ő birtokol elmebeli probléma*," adds Rita.

Later in the pub, Emily asks Norris what kind of sandwiches he'd like to take with him.

"I'm not eating that rubbish," Norris says. "It tastes of plastic."

"Legyen szíves kifogás a barátom. Ő birtokol elmebeli probléma," Rita again says.

Norris is annoyed and claims he's tried to look up that phrase and can't find it.

Later, as they pack up the taxi, Norris reminds Ken to make sure any freebies from the stationary suppliers are put to the side.

"Legyen szíves kifogás a barátom. Ő birtokol elmebeli probléma," Rita again says.

Norris now believes the phrase is meaningless and gets into the car. Rita tells Ken, Deirdre, and Emily what the phrase means:

"Please excuse my friend. He has mental problems."

In other news

Fizz took her driver's test and is now licensed, despite nearly killing Blanche. Again. She packs up some sarnies and head out on her first official road trip.

* I looked up the phrase using an online translator so I seriously doubt it's grammatically correct.

Clarification and Update

Okay, I believe the switch in schedule is only for some parts of the country. Last night I watched the 8pm airing of Corrie Street – which I think comes from Winnipeg. Montreal and Toronto got regular episodes. If there are any readers out there from Winnipeg, please feel free to back me up on this.

So, what I will do is update you on the first episode I saw last night and let Shatnerian post the second episode tommorow so that we don’t get ahead of ourselves here.

Glacia washes her hand of all of this and jumps into the update.

Der Himmel Über Berlin
wings of desire

A letter arrives at the Webster’s household for Rosie with eine Deutsche Briefmarken – presumably from Craig in Berlin.

Sally takes the letter over to Kevin, who tells her that she need to take that right over to Rosie. Sally hums and haws about it, worried that it will beckon their first born into the land of beer and pretzel. Kev reminds her that Rosie had that choice and didn’t take it. Sally says, ‘Yeah, but that’s before she had a chance to miss him.’

Later on the Croppers ask Kev about Craig and he tells them that he hasn’t heard anything, but Rosie got a letter and he’ll update them as soon as he knows anything.

Meanwhile, in an attempt to cheer Rosie up, Sally decides to have a girl’s night in with her and watch a few rented DVD’s, including, 'Metropolis', 'Cabaret', 'Wings of Desire', 'Goodbye Lenin' , and of course, 'Funeral in Berlin'.

This doesn’t seem to work and Rosie tells Sally how she’s worried about Craig and how she thinks she will never hear from him again. Sally breaks down and gives her the letter, which of course has Rosie a bit pissed. Sally apologizes and says that she was just worried about losing Rosie. Rosie tells her that the only way she will lose her is by ‘pulling this kind of crap, you horrible woman.’ - Okay, maybe I’m paraphrasing there.

Later at the dinner table, Kev tells Rosie that the Croppers want to know how Craig is doing and they wouldn’t mind knowing themselves.

She tells them that he’s staying at his friend’s brother’s flat and is working in a youth hostel.


Remember That Old Busby Berkeley Musical, ‘Tarts on Tap’?
tarts on tap

David gives Maria Charlie’s notes, but not without being all weird and creepy about it. She is happy for the note and even more so for the return of her text-free cellphone from Sarah.

David asks if she wants to hang that evening, but she tells him she just wants a night in. He acts weird and creepy. Of course, this is a lie and he knows it. She is going to see Charlie that night and David decides to lurk around in a weird and creepy fashion until they’ve finished their disgusting feast of sexual desires to the haunting refrains of ‘Let’s get down and dirty, baby’.

When finally Charlie goes back home to Tracey, David, weirdly and creepily, knocks on Maria’s door and questions Maria’s friendship and demands that she tell him the truth. She hesitates, but he finally tells her that he read the note, so she is forced to fess up.

They have a long discussion and she tells David that she doesn’t want to lose his friendship over this because he’s her mate and in the end she convinces him not to tell.

Now, I have no idea at this point who to root for.

On the outset, if I was Maria I’d be all ‘screw you’ to David, because what’s the worse that’s going to happen? Tracey finds out? Isn’t that a good thing? And while David is being a prat, he actually does make some valid points about how Charlie is just using her and hey, doesn’t she care anything about Tracey’s feelings.

Tracey’s feelings? Charlie outcreeped by wise-speaking David? Maria playing with David to get what she wants.

I’m so confused.

Buddah’s Pest
Norris and Rita are getting ready to head off on their trip, but not before Norris can obsess about Ken knowing the security access code – 8392.

He also gives Ken a list of notes such as, ‘Don’t forget to turn the store sign to ‘open’ when you start the day.’

Rita mumbles something in Hungarian.

Et tu, Emily?
In case anyone is wondering where Emily stands on the shunning thing, she’s cancelled appointments at the salon, along with Deidre.

Audrey laughs at the hypocrisy and how Weatherfield is lousy with glass houses.

And On the 'I’m Going to Be Sick' Front
Frankie and Danny go into the Rovers together.

Jamie stares at them.

Glacia barfs.

Sean tells Jamie to leave it alone, and that he knows what it’s like to have unrequited love. Jamie says to Sean, ‘Yeah, but you and me ain’t never gonna happen.’

Nice, Jamie!

Fizz loves the new scooter and is preparing for her learner’s permit.

Best Line of the Episode
Charlie calls David, ‘Postman Prat’ – Glacia laughs.

She Said What?
Did Maria say that Sarah is ‘away with the fairies’?
What does that mean?


Here's what I got....

Last night (Tues) the CBC did two back-to-back episodes of Corrie (which I will blog later).

There was a notice that said that Corrie would NOT be shown either tonight or tommorow but would be back with two episodes on Friday.

Although their website says there will be an episode tonight and when I look at my t.v. listings it shows an episode.

I'm going to try to contact someone at the station to find out what is going on.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007


I just saw on the television that there are two back to back episodes of Corrie tonight.

Sorry guys, they didnt' have this on the website.

I hope you get it in time.



Okay kids, due to some difficulty involving German engineering, we have a late update. I forgot to make notes, so I'm going to have to wing this one a bit.

A full update can be found here - Got to October 23 - but only read Part 2 - or else you'll fall into tonight's episode.

'Ash'ley's Problems.
Ashley gets ready to go back to the butcher's and open shop with some encouragement from Claire that everythign will be okay on the home front. He goes to the shop and is a little unnerved by the apron with Fred's name tag still on it. At that moment Blanche comes in asking for meat and tells him to be sure it's fresh.

I was afraid she was going to be all 'tell it like it is' Blanche, but she actually has a lovely heart-to-heart with Ashley telling him that it'll all be okay. He says it feels too soon to open the shop, and she tells him that it will always be too soon, but we carry on with life. She also tells him that one thing he could do is rename the shop 'Peacock and Sons'.

After she leaves, Ashley cuts himself with a knife and goes to the back to get a bandaid. Inside the first aid box is a note from Fred, 'A butcher with a careless eye, leaves a finger in every pie.' (Glacia starts crying.)

Claire comes into the shop with Thomas and tells Ashley that she's decided to rename Thomas - to Fred. Awww - a beautiful mement.

Then Bev walks in - to give Ashley HALF of Fred's ashes in a plastic container. This is all because Blanche gave her shit at the Rovers. She saw Bev propped up at the bar, drink in one hand and her other arm around the urn. Blanche told her that Ashley was actually in pain while Bev gave 4 performances a night. "...why hang onto his ashes like some kind of trophy? Give his son some peace of mind and get yourself a bit of respect back before it's too late" So Blanche is the hero of this episode.

And pardon my French, but, 'What exactly the fuck is wrong with Bev?'

The Platts
I don't know David says he's going back to class, but then they found it's a holiday so him mom sends him to the Salon to work.

Over at the Rovers, Audrey tells Gail that all David nees is a slap upside the head.

Um...yeah...he kind of does.

Charlie, Maria, David and Liam
David sees Liam and gives him shit for standing up Maria. Liam then tells David that he didnt' have a date with Maria, which makes David cross at Maria for lying to him.

Meanwhile over at the Salon, supplies are running low and Audrey sends Sarah to get more supplies and tells her to keep her phone on in case she thinks of anything else she needs. Sarah reminds Gran that she's lost her phone, so Audrey tells Maria to lend Sarah her phone.

This is a problem, because Charlie is texting Maria every 5 minutes. She has no choice though, so the reluctantly hands over the phone to Sarah.

She then writes a note and asks David to take it over to Charlie (under the guise that it's a note about her rent). He asks her why he should, and she reminds him that they are friends and that she shared her pizza with him.

He takes the note over and Charlie, upon reading it, writes another and tells David to take that back to Maria. Again, David is 'why should I?' and instead of just giving him a fiver, Charlie says, 'Cause I said so.'

No suprise, the minute he's away from the yard, he opens up Maria's original note (not sure why he has it instead of Charlie), "Don't text me as Sarah has my phone. Gutted about last night. Can't wait to see you again. Love M xxx."

Then he opens up Charlie's note, 'I'll be round at six. Hope you and Rat boy didn't eat all the pizza".

David mad. You no like David when David mad, Charlie!

In Other News
Norris is worried that he will accidently end up in a steam bath naked with 35 Hungarians. Rita, on the other hand, is looking forward to it.

The factory gals are gossiping about Frankie and Janice figures that Frankie is only in it for the money.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Zadok the Priest Update

(This is the song Norris wants played at his funeral. You could press Play and listen as you read, for this makes a surprisingly good soundtrack for the dismal events in this update)

This super long post has been brought to you by the number 4, as in four cups of coffee, and the letter "A", as in Aspirin.

Ah yes, The Kiss. Frankie is rightly freaked out and goes tripping off between the gravestones, away from Jamie as fast as she can. Danny didn’t see the kiss, but tries to confront Jamie about how much longer he's going to be angry. Jamie simply grins and walks away.

“Can’t believe the coffin got stuck,” Bev says to those assembled outside of the church.
“I know, I thought I was going to di-,” Norris breaks off. Woops!

Bev is generally making everyone uncomfortable. When Ashley says goodbye to Beryl Peacock, Bev pipes up, why does he calls her mum when she’ not really his mum?

When Jamie returns home, Frankie is brandishing a little pink suitcase. “Stay back, stay away!” She swings for him and calls him evil. “I’ve known you since you were seven, seven years old! I’m not that person! I won’t be!”
He points out she was only 16 at the time, making Danny the real pervert. He loves her and says it’s a damn sight easier now knowing she fells the same.
“I don’t,” she says through her tears, bundling herself into Les’ taxi.
“We both know you do,” Jamie says. Les drives on.
“Opened your big gob, then?” Sean asks Jamie. He’s seen the whole thing. He points out that Frankie obviously still thinks of herself as Jamie’s mum, no matter how emphatically Jamie believes otherwise. “Jamie, wanting something to be true is not the same as something being true.”

Frankie parks herself in Danny’s spare room. He is over the moon, of course, but a little curious as to why the sudden return. She says Fred’s funeral reminded her not to waste time. But Danny has to prove that he’s learned his lesson first, which is why she’s not going to sleep with him right off the top.

At the Rover's Dev delivers a round of 'scotch and threats' as Ashley reminisces about how good Fred was at giving advice. “What am I going to do about ‘er?” Ashley indicates Bev, who has practically toppled off her bar stool.
“That one? You’re on your own,” Dev replies.

Bev starts in on Ashley about how could he speak to Audrey at the funeral? What, is he taking sides now? Ashley angrily pounds the bar, causing the whole Rover's to jump. He yells that he’s not getting into this right now, he’s got enough coping with his dad being dead. He stomps off to the back as Blanche announces gleefully, “I said we wouldn’t get to the end of today without blood being shed!”

Ken, Rita and Emily agree that Fred wouldn’t have wanted any of this fighting. He would have something with “more life, more espirit, more rally.” Rita obliges by standing up and belting out, “Bring Me Sunshine in your Smile”. It brings down the house.

Enter Audrey, who ramps up her courage and announces to all assembled that she loved Fred. He was a warm-hearted person and yes, she’s made mistakes but those were between her and Fred. She loved him. As Gail leads her out of the pub, Bev scowls, “I don’t believe a word you’ve said.”

Later, Danny and Frankie snuggle on the couch. He says, “I’m sorry, Frank.”
“For what?”
“For being careless with your heart.” She smiles. Then the buzzer sounds. And sounds. And sounds. They know it’s Jamie but neither of them want to face him. Jamie runs around to the window and begs for just two minutes. “Speak to me, Frankie! Speak to me, Frankie!”

The episode ends.

The next morning, Danny whips up a lovely breakfast, which reminds me of when he used to sit and have morning coffee with Leanne. To my amazement, I realized I kind of miss Leanne!

Anyway, Danny says that even with a wall between their bedrooms, he feels like a kid at Christmas.
“Which is why you shouldn’t open all your presents at once,” Frankie replies. She makes Danny promise not to bother Jamie.

Sean pounds on the door and Jamie answers, looking worse for wear. Suddenly, Frankie and Danny pull up in his car, looking very cozy indeed. Danny shouts to Norris that the headline on the news stand should be “Danny and Frankie Reunited, Love Conquers All.” Jamie looks murderous as he retreats back into the house.

Frankie reports to Deirdre, Liz and Eileen that she’s back with Danny and the ladies are justifiably confused. Liz says there’s only one reason she’d go back, “because you love him.”
“Loving’s easy,” Dierdre says, “it’s the trusting that’s the difficult thing.”
Frankie says he’s changed. They all roll their eyes and she admits well, at least she’s changed. He can’t hurt her the same way again.

Roy later congratulates Frankie on recent developments, saying, “I do believe that some people are meant to be together, even though circumstances may make that seem impossible to achieve, but we do all have our soul mates. I hope this time it works out for you.”
“It will,” she replies darkly, “it has to.”

Archie lets it slip to Ashley that Bev’s already picked up Fred's ashes. Archie apologizes profusely as Ashley goes off, “she’s not ‘aving them, they’re mine!”

He finds Bev and, er, Fred, enjoying another healthy dose of gin at “front of house” in the Rovers.
“Don’t let anger take the reigns,” Claire counsels her husband (to which I say, “good luck”). Ashley demands the ashes.
Bev says “this tin of dust that used to be the loveliest man alive is all I’ve got left in the world,” whereas Ashley has a family. She wants to scatter them where Fred proposed to her.
“He proposed to you in a lay-by on the A54!” Ashley exclaims.
“Exactly. And it was the happiest day of my life. I think he’d like that.”
Claire thinks it’s kind of romantic but Ashley’s not having it.

Archie and Audrey decide to have Sunday lunch at the pub. Archie heads off to the “little boys’” and Dev takes the opportunity to give Audrey some advice, which simply must be quoted verbatim (the stroked out bits are the words Dev omitted from the actual text):
“Who steals my purse steals trash; ’tis something, nothing;
’Twas mine, ’tis his, and has been slave to thousands;

But he that filches from me my good name
Robs me of that which not enriches him
And makes me poor indeed.” (Othello 3.3.180-86)
“You’re worried about my good name?” Audrey replies.
“Audrey, I think of you as a friend.”
“Well I think of you as a pompous, patronizing, self-centred, womanizing hypocrite.”
“Enjoy your drink,” he says sheepishly and moves on.

At the café, Danny makes dinner plans with Frankie as she hands him take-out. “I’m not spying,” says Roy when Danny leaves, “but did you actually charge the customer for that order?” She’d completely forgotten!

Frankie would never have prepared in the first place if she’d known what Danny was going to do. He knocks on Jamie’s door and offers him a peace offering in the form of sandwiches and coffee, “fresh from Frankie’s hands.” Jamie slams the door in his face. Blanche, witness to the excitement, immediately reports to Frankie.

Frankie decides it’s time to face Jamie. “I’m with Danny now,” she says. Her argument is that Danny's her husband, it’s the way it’s meant to be and one mad kiss can’t change 20 years of marriage.

Creepy Jamie says he knows she really wants to be with him and it’s okay. It’s scary, but it makes sense. He felt it when they kissed. “We’re not doing anything wrong. It’s just two people who love each other.”
Frankie slaps him, apologizes and leaves, in tears once more.

The Little Bits:

Jason walks in on Violet who is fully clothed and bending over the couch, folding the blankets. Jason, however, is in his undies. Sean appears and says he wondered how long it’d take before they were sharing a sleeping bag. Violet violently grabs Sean's ears and yanks down, hissing that there is nothing going on between her and Jason.

Later, Sarah sees Violet and Jason emerge from the house at the same time. She gets the scoop from Fiz that Violet has moved back in. Jason makes a point of explaining to Sarah that Violet sleeps on the couch. Sarah pretends she doesn’t care.

Tracy gets it into her head that she could see a love connection between Maria and Steve. Charlie says it’s never a good idea to get involved. He later pops by Maria’s to arrange a lunch date and warns her to be wary of Tracy’s intentions. “I’m not interested in anyone,” Maria replies saucily.

Of course Charlie stands her up for the lunch date, so Maria invites David to partake in her pizza (not a euphemism). Charlie and Tracy walk by and have a laugh at Maria’s new boyfriend, emphasis on ‘boy’.

Fiz learns to ride her scooter by zooming around the street with Kirk running after her yelling, “not so fast!” Even when she falls over, she loves it.

Norris decides to bring his mini kettle to Hungary because even if they have tea in Hungary, “well, it’d be Hungarian tea, wouldn’t it?”
Archie recommends they try the thermal baths of Budapest, where “suddenly sitting naked with a bunch of strangers seems perfectly normal.” Norris is suitably scandalized.

Quote of The Day:

“I don’t hold with take-away coffee. What’s the point? If God had meant us to sup out of polystyrene cups, he wouldn’t have invented china.”
-- Blanche

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Update - July 12 - Bev Puts the 'Fun' in Funeral

Funeral for a Friend

It's the day of Fred's funeral and Bev is behind the bar, wearing her wedding dress, claiming it's what Fred would have wanted. She offers a drink to Ashley, which he declines, worrying that she'll make a scene.

She's. In. Her. Wedding. Dress.

On his cloud, Fred stands next to Mike Baldwin as they both look down.

"Dodged a bullet there, mate." says Mike, puffing on his cigar.

Meanwhile at Gail's, Audrey worries about saying goodbye to her old friend, but not the public reception she's sure to receive.

At Frankie's, Jamie thinks his stepmum looks stunning in her funeral garb. But Frankie tells him, despite his protests that she needs him around to save her from herself, that she is going with Danny.

At Eileen's, moths have eaten her only black skirt but Sean tells her it's no longer mandatory to wear black to a funeral so she settles for a red skirt. Sean has opted for the Noel Coward look.

At the Rovers, Claire suggests Ashley lay off Bev for a bit but he counters that Bev does not hold a monopoly on grief. Liz adds that Bev hasn't only lost her husband-to-be, but her future as well.

Ashley gives Bev the gift Fred had intended to give her on their wedding day. It's the nice watch Audrey helped pick out, with "To Beverly, my beauty" engraved on the back. Bev notices that it's practical, elegant, and not cheap. She doesn't seem all that impressed. She says she got him cuff links which was stupid because he never wears them.

"He would if you gave them to him," says Ashley and they hug. Aw.

Outside, Jamie is insisting that he accompany Frankie to the funeral but she insists that she can look after herself. Meanwhile, Blanche sees Eileen and asks her where she's going.

"To the funeral," she replies.

"Oh really, I thought you were going to the disco, or maybe an early Christmas party."

Eileen counters that she's not a professional funeral attendee like Blanche (or Cass and Betty Furlong -- starts at the 1:15 mark).

In the Rovers, Ashley says he can't imagine the place without Fred. Bev says not to worry, as she slugs back another gin, she'll keep his memory alive. Liz's eyes shoot daggers. Bev stumbles her way into the car and Ken mutters "Very Miss Haversham."

At the service, Jamie accuses Danny of following Violet and him. Violet confronts Jamie and asks why he's acting so weird. But before he can say "Because I'm totally into my mom," the funeral is to begin.

All eyes turn onto Gail and Audrey as they enter the building.

Anybody in Weatherfield want to give the late Fred Elliot the benefit of the doubt here? Anyone? No? Okay, we'll continue then.

"Of all the nerve," Blanche says. "Look at the cheek of that brazen hussy. Bold as brass."

Rita thinks Audrey would have at least had the decency to stay away.

Then the coffin enters the building.

The residents of Weatherfield then employ the old Amish shamed-based behavioural modification technique of shunning those who have fallen into disfavour. Audrey and Gail find themselves sitting alone in their pew.

Violet wants to sit with them because not doing so feels like bullying. Sean assures her that indeed it is as he's been bullied all his life. And apparently, he's not about to stop now and ushers her away from the shameful ones.

Ken, feeling badly, decides to sit behind them, not with them, so really, not feeling that badly.

Then Sarah comes in and that's about it for the guests. Besides his sister Beryl Peacock, who makes an appearance, none of Fred's many business associates nor even Mildred, from't wool shop show up to bid adieu.

There is the singing of hymns, Jerusalem, specifically, which is quite nice because you never hear hymns on TV. Counting this week's Doctor Who where we hear "The Old Rugged Cross," that's twice this week I've heard people singing hymns. Normally you just hear them on Vision TV (my late granny was partial to Songs of Praise). Ashley's crying so he can't join in.

Jamie and Danny are sniping at each other.

And then it's time for Bev, in her wedding dress, to say a few dignified words.

"She's going to throw herself on the coffin," predicts Norris.

"Don't enjoy it too much," cautions Rita.

"I wondered if she were going slur a few words," spits Blanche.

Bev says that Fred always knew the difference between quantity and quality, which is why he was marrying her. She adds that she feels cheated.

"Till death do us part," she sobs. "Well, death's parted us now and before I had a chance to say it. So I'll say it now. I do, Fred. I do take you as my lawful wedded husband."

Then she, yes, almost flings herself upon the coffin, leaving Liz to drag her away.

Then it's Ashley's turn, who manages to keep it together slightly better.

"Fred loved a lot of things and a lot of people," he says. "He was a big man with a big spirit. Not larger than life but full of life!"

Frankie breaks down a little and Danny comforts her. This so disgusts Jamie that he storms out of the church, with Frankie following behind.

Ashley continues. He says he knew Fred and Bev's marriage would have been a happy one.

"For me, he was much more than my father. He was my workmate, my mentor – a kind, wise guide through life. But above all he was my friend. He was my best friend."

Outside, Frankie and Jamie are a little distance from the church. Jamie tells Frankie that he's certain the two are about to get back together. Frankie is confused and asks Jamie to spell it out to him.

Back in the church, the vicar begins the committal of Fred's body to the crematorium. As it moves on the conveyor belt, it gets stuck, leaving the vicar and Archie to give it a little shove.

Audrey breaks out into laughter.

"That's Fred all over," she says. "He never could get his timing right!"

Then her laughter turns to tears as she says she'll miss him.

Bev fumes but Ashley takes little notice and says, with tears, "Bye Dad."

Outside in the graveyard where they are hidden from view by a large old tree, Jamie breaks down and tells his stepmother that he loves her.

"It's killing me. And I think it's killing you, too," he says, pulling her toward him for a kiss, which she reciprocates and I toss my gin and tonic toward the TV.

Meanwhile, Danny is seen walking toward the pair, as though he's about to discover them.

You finally got your incest storyline, Corrie writers. Are you happy now?

In other, non-squicky news

Kirk gave Fizz her scooter. She thinks it's the best present ev-ah!

The Many Faces of Violet Wilson

Bottoms Up-date


So recently Shatnerian and I were online discussing how we can add to the Corrie Drinking game. I think this episode provide more than enough opportunity to get smashed.

Everytime Bev says ’10 More Minutes’Bev is well, drunk and wallowing in her own self pity and only picks her head long enough to say, ’10 more minutes, 10 more minutes and I would have been his wife.’

I got to say, as much as I find her annoying, I’ve love how this character is written. When things are going well, Bev is on board and lovely, but the minute something goes bad…..wooooo. She’s just so without any sense of security or inner strength.

Anyway, she’s been told that the will is being read and dresses up to join Ashley and Claire at the reading, all the time complaining that Ashley has taken charge of the whole shebang and no one tells her anything. But why would they she’s only the widow – oh wait, no, not his widow…just 10 more minute, just 10 more minutes.

They return to the Rovers and you can already see that something is amiss. Bev got nothing. Everything that Fred owned went to Ashley and Bev is left out in the cold. No retirement house, no security, no nothing….just 10 more minutes.

Fred obviously didn’t have the time to change the will before the wedding. Now, in a sane world, Bev accepts that and Ashley makes sure that the woman his father was about to marry is provided for.

But this is Corrie.

So Bev starts screaming at Ashley like it’s his fault and causes a ruckus. At that moment, Audrey (who’s decided she’s not going to act like a pariah and actually go back to her local) enters the pub and Bev almost spontaneously combusts. She starts blaming Audrey for her situation because if Fred wasn’t at Audrey, Bev wouldn’t have had to wait 10 more minutes and she would have been Mrs. Elliot. She asks Audrey if she would like to take the shirt off her back too, and proceeds to strip, but luckily someone intervenes. At this point, Mr.Glacia calls over from the computer, ‘She’s having a hard time letting that go, isn’t she?’.

Bev then delivers the best Corrie line of the season, ‘I need gin, NOW!’

As she goes on a binge, she tries to bar both Audrey and Maria from the Rovers. At this point Liz steps in and tells Bev that it’s not her decision who to bar from the pub. Liz also tells Ashley that she’s not going to deal Bev’s behaviour on a regular basis and that he needs to do something.

Bev then decides to bar Audrey from the funeral. Audrey tells her that she will indeed be at the funeral to pay her respects and what’s more, she’ll be sober.

Well, yes. Man, if I lived in Weatherfield and I had out of town guests, I’d take them to the pub – because there seems to be free dinner theatre there at least twice a week.

Everytime Rosie Gets Sad Doe-Eyes
Keith apparently has been told about Crais as the Webster story opens with Kev on the phone with him. Rosie asks if there’s any news, and Kev says no, but that Keith is sure Craig will come home as soon as he runs out of money and anyway, he’s confident that Craig can take care of himself.

The family has a chit chat in the kitchen and Rosie says she’s going to go take a walk. Kev asks her to leave her passport and she responds by reminding all and sundry that it was she who decided she couldn’t go off with Craig. That for some crazy reason, she couldn’t leave her family like that.

She then goes out and Kev reminds her to keep her mobile turned on. (yesssss dad…)
After a few hours go by, Kev and Sally get worried and go look for her. It’s not hard to guess where she is, she’s at the secret Craig and Rosie hideaway…being sad. The parental units come in and give her a big hug and take her home.


Everytime Charlie Meets Ned Beatty on a River Raft
Liam approaches Charlie and tells him to lay off and to not try that macho pushy stuff again. They both do a lot of puffing up of chests and make fun of each other’s accents. Liam walks away while humming the tune from Deliverance.

As he’s storming off, Liam sees Maria and tells her that she and Charlie are welcomed to each other.

Du-du-daaaaa….now Maria knows that someone knows that she and Charlie and seeing each other!

Everytime Someone Else Moves into Eileens
Violet dumps Jamie.


And the best part is, she tells him that he’s been treating her like dirt. When he tries to convince her to stay, she tells him that she’s got more dignity than that.

She has a good cry out in the back of the pub and Liz comforts her. In the end she straightens herself out for the punters, but Sean can tell immediately that something is wrong. She tells him about the breakup and he tells her that she should move into Eileen’s place.

With Jason living there….ha!

How many rooms are there in this house anway?

She agrees, Eileen gives the ok and that is that, whether Jason likes it or not.

And Now That You’ve Had Too Much To Drink…Sean talks to Jamie about the situation and Jamie maintains that he’s in love with Frankie. Sean reminds Jamie that Frankie is his mom. Jamie says, ‘Not my real mom, and I love her.’ Sean reminds Jamie that it’s just wrong on so many different levels. Jamie reminds Sean that he doesn’t care and that he’s madly in love with Frankie.

Sean finish the conversation by speaking for Corrie fans everywhere with one sentence; ‘I feel sick.’

It gets worse, back at the Baldwin house when Frankie hears that Violet dumped Jamie, she tells him that he needs to find a girlfriend because being by yourself is not fun. Jamie says life is good with just the two of them living in the house.

THEN, he starts shadowing her around the house talking all creepy and Frankie is starting to suspect something

I swear to God that scene with them in the kitchen has been the creepiest thing since that guy wanted Liz to wear a saddle.

In other news
Maria tells Cilla that she looks like a settee in a parrot’s costume.

Kirk-eh is buying Fizz a scooter.