Thursday, June 14, 2007

Update June 14 - Hoodies Rampage Edition

In Which I Employ Rude Euphemisms for Charlie and Maria's Relationship

After Tracey nearly has a breakdown after experiencing the odd thing known as "parenting," Charlie offers to take Amy into town and give Tracey a break.

This, as he later explains to Maria, is just a ruse to get Tracey in a good mood before he tells her he's going to be out of town around the same time as Maria, who is off to an important meeting of backstreet hair stylists in romantic Birmingham.

Charlie later tells Tracey that he has to go to Leeds for a stag night for a friend he has never mentioned before. He later tells Maria that they will only have one night of passion together but at least they won't have to keep playing "Problem tenant and the handy Landlord." Maria won't have to find reasons to get Charlie over to her flat like: her "tiles" need "grouting" or her "pipes" need "tightening" or that she needs him to bring his "caulking gun" to fill her "cracks."

In Which Jamie Comes Out!

of Eileen's house after crashing there

It's the morning after Jamie and drags himself off Eileen's couch as Sean swears to secrecy their conversation of the night before. Jamie says there is nothing to say and heads home.

He stumbles home and pulls away from Violet's welcoming kiss, claiming dragon breath. Later when Violet meets Sean, he lies a little and tells her she has nothing to fear but she's certain that something happened last night.

At the Rovers, Violet is still trying to get into out of Sean, who finally confesses that Jamie did say that he may have feelings for someone else. Violet interprets this as meaning that Jamie is gay and that person whom he truly loves is ... Jason! Ok, no it's Sean.

Or is it...?

In Which Audrey Finds a Hoodie in Her Apartment

In the Rovers, Audrey is telling Gail about how everyone she knows is either dying or moving away. As she leaves to go home for lunch Gail and Fred agree that something seems to be bothering her.

As she arrives home, she suddenly discovers a hoodie in her apartment, looking for some decent koosh. He is spooked and rushes past her and out the door. The first person she calls is Fred who comes over immediately. Audrey is shaken and doesn't seem keen on spending any more time alone.

The police stop but there is little they can do as nothing was stolen.

Her daughter and granddaughter are surprised to later learn that she never told them that she had a break-in. But really, what would happen? Sarah would make it all about her and Gail would blame it on Richard Hillman.

In which other news is discussed.

Rita and Norris are going to Budapest for their Magyar Misadventure.


Anonymous said...

Great summary, John. Loved your euphemisms! Here's a few more:

'plunge' her 'drain'

'rewire' her 'fusebox'

're-key' her 'lock'

and the ever popular 'collect' the 'rent'.

I'd forgotten Audrey doesn't live on the Street. That had to be the least frightening encounter with an intruder I've ever seen. Did she live on the street at one time?

I voted for Jamie to be gay, mainly out of wishful thinking. Don't think he is, though.

Westcoast fan.

Jacqueline said...

Jacqueline jumps up and down, clapping her hands that John used 'Maygar' in his update!!!

Anonymous said...

Have I mentioned recently how much I love the character of Eileen? Funny, loads of common sense, and horrible luck with men.

I think we were separated at birth...

Michigander Fan

Working From Home Today said...

Nice one, John! I, too, enjoyed the euphemisms and intend to use them to thoroughly confuse my husband.

Westcoast Fan, I also had that moment re Audrey. I don't think I've ever seen her at home, let alone heard of those neighbours.

What the hell is Maygar?

Michigander Fan, I love Eileen. I wish they'd give her a break.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, Eileen is great. I was so disappointed that her relationship with Joe had to end because Emily couldn't forgive him for having murdered her husband even though he seemed truly repentant. My respect for Emily took a nosedive after that.

Westcoast fan

Jacqueline said...

Maygar is the hungarian word for Hungary.

Anonymous said...

Magyar is also the name of the Hungarian language, which, interestingly, is not related to any other European languages, except Finnish. Isn't that weird?

You know, you've got the Germanic languages and the Romance languages, and then you have these 2 interrelated languages on opposite ends of the continent.

Hey! Rita should take ME to Budapest!

I would sooo have a blast with Rita!

Michigander Fan

Anonymous said...

and here i was thinking maygar referred to faulty gaydar, as in "violet's maygar senses were all a flutter"

Anonymous said...


Jacqueline said...


Sorry, John, my typo.

Glacia sends John some tarhonya as a way to mend the rift that's come between us.

Jacqueline said...

maygar, maygar, maygar!