Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Update - April 4, 2007 - "A Hippopotamus with Split Ends Just Invited Us to Her Leaving Do."

Poor Jacqueline is sick in bed so let's give her time to rest:

Previously ... on Coronation Street!

  • Claire is close to spawning.
  • Ashley agrees to let Dr. Matt Ramsden see Joshua for two hours every month.
  • Ashley now has to explain to Joshua that, as Claire is his "extra Mummy," Dr. Matt Ramsden is his "extra Daddy." Joshua asks his father, "So, are we like that family in 'Big Love' now?"
  • Shelley tells Charlie that she intends to inform Tracy that they had sex. Charlie says he'll deny it, knowing that she'll never believe her.
  • Shelley goes and tells Tracy anyway that, in the most diplomatic terms possible, they went "at it." Tracy doesn't believe her but then is grossed out at the possibility that it might be true so she slaps Shelley, just in case it is.
  • Tracy tells Charlie and, of course, he denies it.
  • Janice is going to go live in Leanne's old flat. What exactly is the vacancy rate in Weatherfield?
  • Liz is the new landlady at the Rovers.
  • Frankie's back from Spain. Doesn't like the Changing Rooms action on her bedroom and just isn't that into Nathan right now.
  • Joanne tells Blanche she thought she was 90 years old.
And now the Wednesday Show

So that's what the Ladies Room Looks Like

Tracy has taken up smoking. Charlie spots her and asks what's wrong. She says she's stressed but he reminds her not to believe anything Shelley says as they both know she's crazy. This does not placate Tracy as she yells to two passing blokes in the street, "Keep this man away from your wives! He'll have them! Even if they're minging!"

Charlie loses control and throws her up against a wall and tells her to calm herself. This does not escape the attention of Claire who asks if Tracy is ok, to which she responds with "What are you looking at four eyes?" You tell her, Tracy. Stupid near-sighted people.

In the pub, Bev is sad about Shelley's impending departure and compares it to the death of her daughter. Shelley shows her a phone and adds that while it may not reach Heaven, it will reach the pub in Darbyshire Derbyshire.

Later, Shelley runs into Tracy and invites her to the leaving do.

At said do, the party is in full-swing and Shelley wishes she could bring everyone to her new pub. Tracy and Charlie come in (Tracy, tarted up to the nines, Charlie, in the same kit he was wearing to work) and she makes a show of swallowing his face.

Charlie later tells Shelley that she shouldn't have told Tracy. She tells him that Tracy had a right to know what he's like. He counters that she knew what he is like and yet, she came back for a little more fill of Charlie. Shelley tells him that he makes her sick as she heads to the bathroom.

This does not go unnoticed by Bev who follows her into the bathroom. She asks her if she and Charlie did it. Shelley denies it but says they just came back for one drink (Yeah, a tall drink of Charlie, more like). He tried it on with her. She lies and tells Bev that she told Tracy that they did it just so she would know what kind of man he is.

This conversation does not go unnoticed by Tracy who was in a stall the entire time having a piddle taking a dump doing a few lines of blow, powdering her nose, overhearing the whole thing.
Back in the Rovers, Bev gets Shelley to make a speech. Shelley begins to say that she hates saying goodbyes.

"I don't, especially when it's you," Tracy interupts.

"Do you mind Tracy?" Shelley says

"Yes I do mind, and you know what I especially mind? The lies. Your twisted little lies. This silly bitch decided to fire one final shot across the bows before she left by making out that she slept with my Charlie. She came and told me about it, didn't you? It was quite an award-winning performance. But what did I just hear you telling your mum in the toilet Shelley? That you made it up didn't you, to try and split us up."

Ken and Deirdre are, once again, embarrassed and try to pull Tracy away. Tracy finishes by saying Shelley needs locking up in a psychiatric ward.

Later outside, Shelley's cab has arrived and she prepares to leave. Violet asks why she didn't tell her mum the truth. Shelley says it would have killed her. She hugs everyone goodbye and gets in her black cab to leave.

As the cab pulls away, Shelley gives a last look at the street and starts saying, "Goodbye Korner Kabin. Goodbye cobbles. Goodbye cornershop. Goodbye Porpoise Spit."

She sees Charlie, "Goodbye Charlie." And off she goes to her new life in another town.

Shelley, you were a classic Corrie woman and we'll miss you. I just wish the writers didn't make you crazy for a year.

Goodbye, Shelley.

Really, This Should Be Old Hat at the Barlows' By Now

Joanne tip-toes down the stairs wearing nothing but her blouse. She tries to sneak into the dining room to retrieve her clothes and blunders, mid-breakfast, into the Council of the Elder Barlows. Ken and Deirdre try to make her feel comfortable (and really, after Roy Cropper stumbled down those stairs, Joanne is a return to normalcy.) but Blanche is having none of it. While Joanne claims she just stayed over and nothing happened, Blanche wonders if Joanne's clothes somehow just fell off. She also notes that none of her underwear has "Hot Stuff" written on it. She also wonders if her synthetic fabric clothing doesn't cause a rash.

After she leaves, Ken is livid with Blanche. He says Joanne seems like a perfectly nice girl. Blanche counters that she just doesn't want Adam hanging about with that sort.

"What sort?" Deirdre asks. Pretty? Young? Nice?

"Common," she replies.

In Other News

A pork roast triggered a trip to the hospital for Claire, but it was a false alarm.

It was twenty years ago today that Danny and Frankie got married. Danny more or less tells her again that he'd drop Leanne in a flash if they got back together. This causes more friction between her and Nathan.

Liz wears something inappropriate to her first day on the job as the new Rovers landlady.

Hayley's in a goofy mood.


Rob Swizzle said...

I'd always imagined the toilets in the Rovers to be of the sort you'd see in Trainspotting.

Anonymous said...

I've been in the bogs in British pubs before. That is, by far, the cleanest I have ever seen.

Anonymous said...

I loved the camera work at Shelley's farewell party. When Tracey announced that she wouldn't lie to ruin a relationship like Shelley did supposedly did, she would actually do it - the camera panned over to Hayley and Roy. I love how this show doesn't forget its history

GoBetty said...

Darbyshire... Derbyshire. And, to kick it, pronounced DHAAR-bishur.

Anonymous said...


missusmac said...

When Tracey suggested Shelley told a lie to break her and Charlie up, Steve thanked Liz for setting him up with a loser type.

Duh. Three words: Ronnie, Tracey, Karen.

Yeah, Shelley is so much worse than those three...

I too thought the bathrooms would be fairly non-attractive.

Anonymous said...

Whatever happened to the age-old practice of checking under the stall doors before engaging in private conversation?

I was sorry to see Shelley go. Sheesh! First Keef and Craig, now Shelly, and Leanne must be on her way out soon, yeah?

Anonymous said...

I'm still reeling over why Shelley INVITED Tracy to the party in the first place. It's like the writers had a block. It would have been much more in character for Tracy to have just showed up. Still have the scene, but set it up differently.

I too loved the pan over to Hayley and Roy. Classic!

Funny moment for me: Frankie, returning from a month in Sunny Spain, hugging Deirdre, who hasn't been anywhere, but is about 10 shades darker than Frankie.

Is it just me, or does Frankie look different? Nothing I can really pin down, but they've done something different with her makeup or something, and I don't think it's an improvement...not to be catty or anything!

I will really miss Shelley alot.

Michigander Fan

missusmac said...

Frankie has bangs now,and she's lightened her hair. And she's not feeling the love god that is Nathan as much as she was when she left. :)

Here's a thought: since the show has gone to so much trouble to build a ladies room, surely it won't just be the for one scene?

Like the fancy restaurant and pizza joint, do you think everyone will now troop to the loo to do a scene? :)