Monday, March 19, 2007

Update for Episode # 6323 March 19, 2007

The kind of haircut Maria has in mind for the new pretty boy

Chris the new boy pulls up in his flash ride with a rose in his hand looking for his 5:00 haircut appointment with Maria. He pops round the Salon but the door is locked, so he calls Maria on his mobile. She tells him to stop in at number 5, that's where the shearing is to take place. Chris wonders if she is taking the mick with him, so he asks two of the locals who are sitting on a bench nearby what the story is with Maria. Of course it is Ty and Molly on the bench. Ty, good lad that he is, tells Chris that Maria is alright, and that she is cutting her brother's hair, and there is nothing underhanded going on.

Maria has just finished cutting Kirkeh's hair while he is sitting on a loo in the back yard. Chris wonders why Maria is cutting hair on a loo outside - she tells him Audrey doesn't want her using the salon to cut hair on her own time. Chesney points out that his mom doesn't want hair or blood on the floor inside either. Maria assures Chris that she is no Sweeney Todd, but all of a sudden he is wondering about growing his hair long.

Chris tries to justify his standing up of Maria the other day by explaining that he had a client fly in from Europe for a day looking for a swank place to live. He hints it was someone who had 'a good World Cup' and is coming to live in Manchester. Kirk and Chesney want to know if it is a new signing for City or United*. Chris can't tell them the details, but assures them it is exciting news.

* The lads are referring to Manchester City and Manchester United, the two Premiership football clubs in Manchester. Chris is talking about a new player from a continental club who might play for City or United.

Chris and Maria are outside the flat when they hear Kirk sing a special song* for Fiz, who thinks it is dead romantic, Chris makes up a few lines for Maria on the spot, who is also impressed. Fiz accuses Chris of plagarism.

* The song he bought from Vern who wrote it 'just for Liz'.

Liz and Vern happen to be walking by at the same time and hear the song being sung by Kirk. The queen of the jubblies wants to what the hell is going on - why is Kirk singing 'her' song. Vern mumbles something about trying to prove to Steve that he could sell a song. And Fiz does rhyme with Liz after all...

Gail is out looking for David. She stops in at The Cafe and asks Roy if he has seen her son. Sorry, not today. She looks perturbed. Keith stops by with some type of garden green and inquires how things are going. The two neighbours commiserate for awhile about the trouble with teens. David makes an appearance at last and spins a yarn about going to the library to work on his maths - and then proceeds to impress them with an explanation of what Y means in the equation. Once again young David manages to slither his way out of a predicament.

Molly continues to be concerned about Diggory's behaviour, and wonders why he is open late these days. Roy is curious about the extended hours as well. Diggory admits to his daughter that he was at the bank about a business loan - just to tide things over mind you. Our resident baker then goes on a bit of a romantic monologue about the noble profession of baking, how it dates back to the days of the pyramids, how it is the only profession mentioned in The Lord's Prayer*, and how much he really loves what he does.

* 'Give us this day our daily bread...' Matthew 6:11

The four musketeers are sitting around the office of Streetcars with nothing to do. The phone rings. Eileen tells them 'I've got nothing for you - ever'. Steve tries to lighten the mood by pointing out that there is nothing to prevent Lloyd from getting the needed licence to run the cab firm, Steve could continue on as a driver and everyone will live happily ever after. Lloyd agrees to this plan - but only if Steve agrees to sell his share of the business to him for 5,000 pounds and to never come back. Much bickering ensues between the two about who is to blame for all that has gone wrong in recent days, of course including the topic of Kelly. Lloyd gets the last word in about the Steve/Kelly tryst 'She'd rather be in bed with shingles'.

Steve assures Eileen that he will do whatever it takes to get the firm up and running again - except give into Lloyd.

Sean and Eileen have a moan in their flat about their respective lives. Sean is unhappy with what his mom has done. Eileen is unhappy with Steve's sex life and how much trouble it has caused her. They decide to go The Rovers and drown their sorrows.

Les stops in at home and finds Cilla in the back working on her tan and reading a travel brochure. Les mentions that they might have to give the holiday a miss this year, owing to the cab firm shutting down. He is brave enough to suggest that she might work a few extra shifts at the chippy. Cilla is mightily unimpressed. They decide to go to The Rovers for a drink.

Liz has arranged for a birthday cake for Steve from Diggory. The only problem is she and Vern can't seem to find the birthday boy. The deadbeat drummer suggests the pub might be a good place to look.

Meanwhile, at the pub, Steve and Lloyd are on opposite ends of the bar sniping at each other. Violet is doing her best to keep the peace. Cilla and Les add their two pence to the debate, she wants to know how they will manage on her part time wages, Les mentions his P45*, nobody is happy with Steve and his romantic dalliances, and the mess he has gotten them into.

* P45 - an income tax form in the UK, perhaps simlar to our ROE**.
** Record of Employment.

Out in the street Liz gets Vern to light the candles on the birthday cake. She then tells him to go into the pub and do a drum roll before she enters. Vern seems less then keen about this idea, but when Liz asks him if she has to buy the drum roll he is sufficiently shamed into doing it. Proud mother Liz marches into the pub with the cake blazing and tries to get the patrons to sing Happy Birthday to Steve. There is a less than enthusiastic response amongst the punters. Cilla, seeing the birthday cake, and worried about where their next meals will come from, makes an historical reference to 'let then eat cake'*. Les suggests that Steve and Lloyd fight it out, the winner take all. There is enthusiastic support from many to this idea, but Liz intervenes and stops the potential punch-up. She gets no help from Vern though, who is hiding in a corner - ostensibly whilst playing darts.

* Marie Antoinette, when told of her starving subjects, is supposed to have said 'if they have no bread, then let them eat cake'. Most historical types doubt that she ever uttered these words. However, it does parallel nicely with the Diggory plot line.

Once again, The Pogues are the background music in The Rovers - Dirty Old Town is the song that is playing this time.


Jacqueline said...

Wasn't Chris singing just from West Side Story?

Jacqueline said...

Update #6323 - in which Papa Smurf wears off the ink on the * key.

Anonymous said...

Did anyone elese see that bit when Steve and Liz and Liz's boyfriend...(the hairy ugly one) were in their flat...Liz was talking to Hairy and Steve was on the couch and Hairy can't remember something and Steve says to Hairy, "Lay off the Wacky tobacky!"....

Makes me wonder if this is a hint of a storyline to come??

Now I's Vermin! I mean!


missusmac said...

Vern and Liz are ick!

Yes, that is a scientific opinion.

GoBetty said...

Yeah, West Side Story. Yeah, Wacky Tobaccy.

Debbie said...

You know what I loved about last night's episode? When Violet suggested that Jamie was a super freak... a very freaky boy, the kind you DON'T bring home to mother.

How lucky is Violet? Not only is she dating Jamie 'yes please' Baldwin, but he also happens to be a sex maniac.

Anonymous said...


I like that Violet likes sex maniacs. I wonder if they get it on like like Octavian and Livia from 'Rome.'

Vern a pothead? Say it isn't so! Next you'll be suggesting Violet and Jason were doing E that night she confessed to kissing Charlie.

Speaking of Vern, when is Jim gonna get parolled and turf this loser? Then Andy can come back from Spain and then the MacDonald's can go back to being one big disfunctional Irish family. Will ye no come back to us, Jim?

Debbie said...

I think Jim will end his days in the slammer. Plus, that dude had some serious rage problems. I can't imagine he got over them in the big house. I mean, I wouldn't exactly call prison a soothing environment.

Anonymous said...

Maybe Jim will convert to Christianity like Ed did and get let out on good behaviour as he is now a man of peace. He moves back in with Liz and, after a day and a half of living with her, freaks out and goes back to his old ballistic self.

Debbie said...

I actually found Jim really scary. He seemed so menacing and off his rocker.

Anonymous said...

Excellent summary. Those asterisks are most helpful!

I remember hearing once, in reference to Maria Antoinette's infamous quote, that 'cake' didn't refer to what we think of as cake (all frosted and layered) but to the thin caking of cooked dough left on the sides of a baking pan after the product has been removed.

I agree that Vern is 'ick'. why on earth does Steve put up with his mom doing the dirty with that creep in Steve's own house??

Anonymous said...

He was a little scary but then, I only know Prison Jim. He was in jail long before I got to the show. I saw him in reruns and just remember stalking Liz on one of their breaks and once having a beer with the usually straightlaced Samir Rachid. Once in a while, his temper would explode and yeah, it was scary, particuarly if your his wife, but he seemed like a fascinating character.

Liz once explained their relationship to her friends on a bender. It was about the sex, basically.