Saturday, March 24, 2007
Update Dedicated To Those Of Us Born In 1976
SEAN IS 30 YEARS OLD AS HE WAS BORN IN 1976
Leanne complains to Danny that 200 quid isn’t going to “push the boat out.”
“Push the boa-? Hey, you spend more than 200 quid on booze for that lot mate and you’ll sink the boat,” he says as he gives her more money for the Girls’ Night Out.
But the factory lot aren’t too keen on this whole thing. Leanne’s freaking them out with the “let’s be pals” stuff. Still, when did they ever turn down free booze?
Adam recommends a genealogy website to Sean and lends him a computer. In exchange, Sean offers to lend him Joanne. No, really, take my seat, he insists in the cafe. Wink, wink.
Fortunately for Sean, Adam and Joanne actually hit it off and wind up making plans to meet after Leanne’s obligatory work ‘do.
At the restaurant, Leanne starts the night off by suggesting they all switch chairs every once in awhile to get to know different people. Even Fiz says “but we already know each other!”
Unfortunately, Leanne later overhears them speaking very nastily about her, everything from how she should be hiding under a rock considering her past to how she’s more like a high class prostitute.
“I did work in a lap dancing club once, but only serving behind the bar, y’know,” she interrupts angrily and stomps off.
SEAN IS A VIRGO AS HE WAS BORN IN SEPTEMBER, 1976
“Watch and learn, Grasshopper, watch and learn,” Les says to Kirk. He tells Steve that Lloyd’s offered him a very attractive package. However, if Steve makes him Senior Driver, gives him a posh car and first dibs on all the airport runs, he’ll shift his alliance.
Steve considers for about, oh, two seconds before replying that Lloyd’s welcome to him.
Meanwhile, Liz has lost her patience with the whole situation. “You’re like a couple of daft kids,” she says and practically drags Steve over to Streetcars by his ear.
And so for your reading pleasure, here is Steve’s apology in full (so you can perform it at parties ‘n such):
“Look, I’m really sorry that I slept with Kelly. There’s no excuse and I were out of order. I broke one of the solemn vows of male friendship and I’m a lowlife.”
“You’re only saying that because your mum’s stood here.”
“Well, yeah. But also because it’s true. I did a lousy thing. If you can find it in your heart to ever forgive me then I swear I’ll never do anything like it again.”
“See, all I wanted was a bit of remorse, a bit of genuine remorse, instead of all this male bravado.”
“And you’re getting it now in bucket loads!”
“Yeah, don’t go overboard, though, it makes you look insincere.”
“Will you please shake my hand?”
They do. “Hug?” Steve asks.
“Don’t push it.”
Steve and Lloyd negotiate a deal – Lloyd gets his flat back and Steve covers the cost of decorating. Lloyd will be the license holder. And it will be called “Lloydie Cabs” and Lloyd will be Senior Partner. Okay, maybe not. They clink cans to an equal partnership.
A TOP SONG IN 1976 WAS Don't Go Breaking My Heart BY ELTON JOHN AND KIKI DEE
Tracy brings Charlie and Jason popsicles (chocolate and orange).
“It’s a lolly, Charlie, how can there be a catch?”
Of course there’s a catch. There’s always a catch. She wants him to go her family’s party with her. But Charlie’s still not interested. They have words. But Tracy needs something from him, so she shifts gears.
“I hate all this,” she says in honeyed tones.
“No you don’t, you love it.”
“Not like this, not wh-“
“Not when you don’t get your own way.”
Does Charlie know her or what?
She wants him to babysit Amy. Absolutely not, says Charlie. He’s meeting friends at the pub later. Watch Tracy’s mood change on a dime! But Charlie is unmoved. Unfortunately, Steve’s off to a car auction and her parents are busy, so Tracy’s up the creek.
Plan B: She creates the perfect night in for Charlie, right down to a DVD and sticky toffee pudding. She’s determined to stick him with babysitting duties. “I won’t be late, Charlie, I promise,” she says as she bounces off to shower.
Charlie simply finishes his pudding and leaves. Tracy emerges from the bedroom all primped and preened to find the flat empty and Charlie at the Rovers.
“Right, you’ve made your point. Finish your pint and go home,” she orders. Oh yes, we all know how well that sort of thing goes over wth Charlie.
Shelley overhears as Tracy and Charlie argue. It seems that no one will be checking on Amy, let alone staying home with her. Shelley tries to have a word with Charlie but he doesn’t care if Shelley calls Social Services or if the house burns down. He certainly won’t give Shelley a key to check up on on the poor kid.
So Shelley leaves the bar to check to see if Amy was really left alone. No one answers the door. In a panic, she finds Steve and explains the situation. Of course Steve is horrified. Is his baby in danger?
And did I mention Sean is 30 years old? Because he was born in 1976.