Friday, March 16, 2007

Nothing Will Ever Seperate Us Update

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Just Go!
Keef is at the hospital with a very worried Craig at his side when they get the news that Keef has had a vagina - I mean ANGINA attack. Which isn't a heart attack - yet.

Keef can see that Craig is anxious to be with Rosie who is off to France that day and tells the lad to go on. It's only when Audrey shows up to keep Keef company does Craig head out.

Audrey and Keef have a chat and she tells him that the vagina - ANGINA attack is a wake up call and he needs to start taking care of himself. Her Alf used to have vagina attacks all the time and that's what did him in.

Flash over to the street where Craig and Rosie are doing their long goodbyes. If anyone of remembers these kind of hormone induced feelings, you'll recognize that these scenes are at once both sweet and painful to watch.

Craig suddenly remembers he has a gift for Rosie and rushes back home to pick up the ring he bought her. Keef asks if Craig is going to propose but Craig explains that it's an 'eternity' ring.

Glacia asks, just wtf does an eternity ring mean? 'Don't worry granddad,we aren't going to do something as rash as get married, we're merely promising to commit to each other for ETERNITY.'

Keef stops Craig before he leaves and tells him that he's contacted his Auntie Marjorie in Bournemouth and they are going to move in with her. Craig asks if this is just until they can find a place in Weatherfield. Keef says, 'No lad, we're going to Bournemouth for ETERNITY.'

I say cheer up, it's only 270 miles from Manchester, AND it's been officially named the UK's Happiest Town.

Craig sees Sally before he sees Rosie and tells her the news. She asks him not to tell Rosie so that Rosie will enjoy her holidays and he reluctantly agrees.

But then he sees Rosie and all bets are off - especially when Rosie asks that Craig be the first face she sees when she returns. When he tells her about the move, she starts to have kittens, is mad at her mom for not telling her and refuses to go to France.

Craig tells her that he's 16 and he'll figure out a way to stay in Weatherfield and that she needs to go to France because he'll be here when she gets back and he throws her into the cab saying, 'Just go!'

Personally, I think when Keef hears about Craig's plans, he's definately gonna have another vagina attack.

The Daughter Formally Known as "Not Asha and Aadi"
Amber is packed and ready to go to Finland but not before some more father/daughter bonding occurs.

Amber is at the Webster's doorsteps to say goodbye when Sally tells Dev that he should be proud of her for fessing up to the booze incident. Dev, realizing that maybe all his spawn could be a source of pride, steps up to the plate and announces that she is indeed 'a good girl'.

Later, he walks into the flat just in time to see his good girl riffling through his jacket pocket. He confronts her but she shows him that she was just putting some 'Spoogy' in his pocket for him to remember her by.

Yeah, I know, what the #!@Q$#@!@ is a Spoogy? Some sort of round ball? At first I thought it was a marble, then I thought it was a hair decoration, finally, when Dev put it into his mouth I realized it must be some kind of food. I googled 'spoogie' and found out that it is worse than an vagina attack. So if anyone knows what the hell they were talking about last night, let me know.

Anyway, he tells that he doesn't need spoogie to remember her by, and there's all this sweet teasey talk between them.

Hit and Run
Maria, Fizz and Kir-keh are all at the Rovers waiting for Chris the mad motorist to come pick up Maria.

Fizz is well pleased with her matchmaking abilities until it's apparent that Chris is a no show.

BTW - I LOVE that Fizz's shirts pull a bit at the buttons. Cheers to the wardrobe department.

In Other News
David is taking full advantage of his time at home to get to level 213 in Halo. Gayle is pleased with her parenting skills. Sarah is the voice box for the rest us screaming at the television, 'He's just using you, you great stupid woman!'

Vern has written a song for Liz and her cleavage. 'Whoa Whao Liz, you always make me happy, you never make me miz.' I really don't know why the 'Randy Rascal Rock Revival' has never made it to the big time. Liz and Vern giggle at each other and rush off the the bedroom to bonk and Steve dies a little more inside.

Bethany siting! Looking like a reject from 'Children of the Corn', Bethany stands in the Platt's living room saying, 'I want the rabbit pencil.'

That's it for now dearhearts.

VAGINA!

12 comments:

papasmurf said...

I like how Kirk, the other resident pub philosopher, gives some insight into the male psyche -it all comes down to personality or cup size. In a perfect world it would be a little of both. Or a lot of both. Depends on your tastes I suppose.

Jacqueline is a naughty girl.

Debbie said...

I'm just waiting for the moment when Bethany pees on the carpet during a dinner party.

Jacqueline said...

Papa - yes.

Debbie - okay, no more comments from you today, my keyboard is soaking with sprayed orange juice.

Anonymous said...

Did anyone else think it was odd that Kevin was nowhere to be seen when his loving child Rosie is off for France? What, he couldn't take the 3 steps from the garage???
Canucklass

Anonymous said...

Canucklass - Hey, yeah! Where was Kev?

Debbie, ha!

Great update, Jacqueline. Va-jay-jay!

--working

John said...

Was it just me or was Bethany hovering two inches off the ground?

Are we really going to be forced into six weeks without Amber?

Anonymous said...

Are you sure she didn't say "spoggy"? It's slang for a piece of chewing gum.

Anonymous said...

I was also wondering where the heck was Kevin. They have a car why was she going off in a taxi?
I don't mean to sound cruel but may be it is time to replace the actress
(twins I believe) who play Bethany, the kid is 6 years old and never talks? When my son was three you couldn't keep him quiet. Even little Josh says a few lines now and again

Jacqueline said...

Mystery solved - thank anonymous.

(London) Rob said...

Woo hoo, it's Friday night and the Corrie fans are in fine form!

Hey, I spit up my Canadian Club and ginger ale over my keyboard too, but let's cut little Bethany some slack. God knows there's reason for her lack of language, expression, and general wit...

First of all being born a Platt, and to a mother only 13 years old...

THEN she was kidnapped by Alison Webster...

THEN she almost drowned when Richard Hillman drove the family into the canal...

THEN she was almost electrocuted in Sarah and Todd's apartment...

THEN her paternal grandmother threatened to jump off the church tower with her...

Has there ever been a kid who's been through more trauma in tne history of television? I'd be peeing on the carpet and floating off the floor too!

Alasdair said...

Good to know that Glacia is as naughty as we *think* she is.

Great summary of last night's show - I really enjoyed both. I agree that we're gonna miss Amber for 6 weeks, man. That kid owns the screen when she's on it. Unlike little Bethany - thanks to London Rob for reminding us all that she's been through in her short life!

Kirk-eh has a horrible habit of indeed summarizing what the majority of men think or would do in situations. PapaSmurf nailed it calling him a "pub philosopher" - things are always so much simpler with a pint in front of you.

As for David Platt - I'm going to have to get a rubber brick to throw at the television whenever he's on it!!! Great acting in making him the teenager we most love to hate. But, he has the advantage of being able to drive Wail nuts - and haven't we all wanted to torment the heck out of her a time or two over the years??!! Scary when Sarah is the sensible one of the family...

As for a vagina attack... ummmm...

Anonymous said...

Who is Alison Webster? I don't remember her.
EPS