You’re her goes next to my his,
You make my heart go like billy whiz,
You’re every answer in my pop quiz,
You are my Liz, you are my Liz, you are my Liz.
Liz says she likes Vernon’s latest version but she sure starts singing Happy Birthday to Steve as fast as she can (hey, can they do that without getting sued, now?). “Thanks, Mom, you’re every answer in my pop quiz,” Steve teases. Vernon admits he has natural rhythm but words take him a bit of effort.
At the café, Roy suggests Vernon is allowing his rhyme scheme to dominate his content, especially as pop quizzes hold no romantic sentiment for them. Vernon points out the obvious metaphor; whatever the question, Liz is the answer. He adds that he doesn’t have a lot to work with. Roy says it’s served its purpose if Liz likes it but Vernon seems to want it to be sellable. Yes, for actual money. And sure enough, he tries to sell the song to Kirk. Liz… Fizz…
Maria’s new fella stood her up. Fiz thinks she should get back at him; go out with him, spend all his money and dump him. When he does show up he sweet talks Maria into giving him another chance. In fact, she’s going to give him a little haircut.... Will this be her revenge?
YOU’RE THE GIRL THAT PUTS ME IN A TIZZ [READ: I’M JUST GLAD SOMEONE LIKES MY CUSTARD SLICE]
Later, Liz orders a cake for Steve. Diggory asks her if she enjoyed his custard slice last week and she replies not as much as usual, but maybe it was just too much of a good thing. Diggory seems relieved.
He admits to Molly that his experiment with cheaper ingredients failed and he won’t try it again. He leaves her to mind the shop while he goes off to a mysterious meeting. Later, she finds Diggory sitting in his car looking like the world has just come crashing down. But he won’t tell her what’s going on, only to say that both parties know where they stand. My PVR episode description says “Diggory meets with his landlord.” Hmmmm.
Sean gets “contact from the mother ship.” She’s been on holiday. “What’s the opposite of incommunicado?”
“Communicado?” Eileen guesses.
“Then that’s what she will be; communicado.” He intends to as her why she lied to him about his dad for twenty years. He leaves her another message to call him.
SHOWBIZ, TARIQ AZIZ AND THE FAT GIRLS FROM VIZ [READ: OTHER THINGS GAIL LIKELY KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT]
Craig helps Keith hang laundry while David taunts him from his upstairs window, gloating that he doesn’t have to go to school for another ten weeks. Gail appears and warns him that he’ll be working as hard as ever.
But when she sits down to teach him, Algebra runs circles around her. He asks her what it all means and she suggests they get the dictionary. I would have suggested the Internet, but obviously the coefficients have made her dizzy. David is definitely laughing at her.
David suggests he go around to Craig’s at lunch to get some help, as Craig’s good with Maths. But David already knows how to do simultaneous equations – he was just putting Gail on. So after they play video games, Craig goes back to school and David disappears. Gail realizes she’s been had.
YOU’RE THE GIRL THAT MAKES MY BUBBLY FIZZ [READ: SINKS MY BUSINESS INTO THE GROUND]
Kelly watches Lloyd wash one of the cabs, feeling like that movie with Paul Newman, the one where he’s in a chain gang watching a girl washing her car? You mean this one, Kelly?
Kelly thinks she should tell Lloyd that Steve was bad in bed. Joanne points out that it could backfire. Steve overhears so Kelly asks him if he’d mind if she told Lloyd he was rubbish in bed. Steve refuses and says it wouldn’t make any difference anyway as Lloyd isn’t talking to him either.
Kelly corners Lloyd and he agrees to chat for a minute. She says she’s still crazy about him, been missing him like mad. She tells him Steve was a let down and can’t compare to Lloyd. Lloyd’s response is… harsh. “You just don’t get it do you. It’s not about you. You’re just some bird I was going out with. He was my mate. And when your best mate stabs you in the back you don’t forgive that.”
“So you don’t care about me at all?”
“Couldn’t care less, Babe.”
“I wish you were dead.”
But as Kelly stomps off, Lloyd’s face seems to suggest he’s lying about his feelings.
Les reckons Steve owes take them all a birthday pint for what he’s putting them through. Lloyd tells Steve (indirectly through Les) that he’d better have a positive outcome at the meeting or else he’s had it.
“We’ve all had it,” adds Les.
Sure enough, when Steve returns from the meeting he tells Eileen to call the lads in.
“I can tell by the look on your grid,” says Lloyd, “we’re up McDonald creek without a paddle.”
It’s true – the Council revoked Steve’s license and Streetcars is officially out of business.