Friday, January 05, 2007

An Update You Can't Refuse

sopr
Diggory Walnuts Compton
Tyrone and Molly are in lurv and very happy about the previous evening’s rumpy pumpy whilst the Duckworths were away. Vera does warn Ty to not let Molly boss him around too much. (Molly bossy? Surely not!) and when Tyrone expresses this concern to Molly she assures him that she’ll be gentle with him.

Meanwhile, Diggory comes charging over to the Duckworths to explain the ancient Sicilian code of ethics that the Comptons are obliged to enforce. Now that Tyrone has taken the very delicate blossom from the virginal Molly, he wants to know what the Duckworths are going to do about it.

Whilst Jack stumbles for words, Diggory lets them know that he was having them on and that he’s pleased for both Molly and Ty. At this point, Glacia’s boilermaker was ready so she missed what Diggory said, but I think it had something to do with Tyrone taking over the bakery business.

Richard 'Two Guns' Hillman’s Out to Bore Her To Death
I’m going to say it, the greeting cards are losing their scary factor.

Gayles 78th birthday arrives with little fanfare other then the waiting of the ‘card’. Audrey drops her card off in the morning over breakfast and when David tramps down the stairs, he realizes he forgot Gayle’s bd and says he’ll be right back and rushes out to get a Kard from the Kabin.

Audrey asks Gayle if she wants her to stick around until the post arrives, but Gayle assures her that she’s okay. Then the Hillman card arrives and it turns out that Gayle is NOT okay so she calls Audrey who rushes over to the Platts, but tells Sarah to come with her.

Maria is pissed that Sarah is cutting out of work again, so Sarah is ‘forced’ to tell her the whole Hillman card saga. (Me thinks Sarah likes airing their dirty laundry a bit.)

Anyway, back at the Platts, there is a renewed round of the ‘It’s Phil!’ ‘No, it’s not!’ ‘Yes it is!’ debate. But what we know for sure is that the card was postmarked from Weatherfield.

Poor Gayle wonders who could hate her that much.

PUT YOUR HANDS DOWN, DEAR READERS! I HAD MINE UP FIRST!

sopranos

Common Waste Management
Norris has another internet date and pulls out his best cravaet for the occasion. Swanked out like Hugh Heffner he goes off to meet his date, ‘Sandra’ leaving Emily and Rita to worry about him getting hurt in the heady world of internet dating.

Soon enough Norris is back, disgusted again with humanity. Turns out that Sandra doesn’t know how to dress, laughs to loud and goes by the lowbrow moniker of ‘Sandy’.

So he did what any member of the social elite would do, he dumped her after 5 minutes and walked out of the restaurant.

Danny 'Junior' Baldwin
Leanne decides that she’s NOT going to the funeral because people might…well think she’s a money-grabbing whore. Danny is a bit taken aback by this and asks her to consider the fact that he might need her there for support. She says she’s been through enough with Mike and that if he needs support, Janice will be there for him.
(Glacia’s Latest Purchase on Ebay ‘I Hate Leanne’ Book bag and Matching Baseball Cap)

Once Danny leaves, Janice tells Leanne that if she does go to the funeral, it will reinforce in everyone’s minds that Danny and Leanne are a proper couple. Besides, Frankie will be at the funeral and there might be a chance that Danny and Frankie get back together. (Cause nothing spells romance and reconciliation like death!)

Danny meanwhile is making is rounds between the Barlows and Jamie trying to mend fences. He explains that the will was Mike’s intention and that there’s really nothing he can do about it. He adds that as the eldest son with years of experience in the factory, it’s the logical choice for him to get the factory. (Hmmmm, but then how do you explain getting the condo, the place in Spain, the chalet in Switzerland, the team of polo ponies, the dozen Faberge eggs?)

Neither Ken nor Jamie are having any of it and tell Danny that he took advantage of a confused old man to get all his wealth. (Danny, Danny, Danny, Danny…..budge a bit, give the lads at least a small percentage of the factory.)

To offer some kind of peace offering, he lets Jamie and Frankie know that Leanne has decided to stay away from the funeral out of respect for the Baldwin family.
.................and then he goes to the Rovers where Leanne has a big surprise for him – she IS going to the funeral! Hurrah!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sure David seems like the obvious choice, but what if it's actually ... Eileen ... sending the cards. Now that would be an interesting twist. But doubtful.

missusmac said...

I can't see it being Eileen. In a perfect world, it would be Tracey because she's bored.

Or Blanche, because she's bored.

Or Emily, because she hates Gayle for marrying Richard.

Jacqueline said...

or me, because i just hate gayle.

missusmac said...

Or you. D'oh. I forgot.

Can I just say how freakin' hilarious I found this update? I laughed all the way through it. Tks!

howdi said...

I still think it is Sara. She likes the drama. Maybe to get attention from Jason.

She told Maria and rushed home to "comfort' Gail when she got the last card.