Wednesday, January 17, 2007

It's a Drag Update

Girls Just Want to Have Fun, Keith… I SAID, Girls Just Want To Have Fun
Good time Archie swings into town and asks Rita to come with him to the ‘opera’ later that night. Rita gladly accepts but is later worried that Archie hasn’t planned something too highbrow.

No worries on that point, Archie is taking her to the avant garde stylings of 'The Ladyboys of Bangkok’ HURRAH!

Meanwhile, Keith has a whirlwind date planned for himself and Audrey. A day slogging around the countryside topped off with tea and crumpets and an over 60’s event. Audrey ponders this for about .5 seconds and tells him she’ll take a pass.

She tells him that she doesn’t own a pair of sensible shoes and has no intention of acquiring a pair for countryside outings. ‘I’ve climbed mountains in slingbacks’ she responds when he suggests buying a pair for further outings. She further explains that she really doesn’t want to hang out with the OAP set.

Keith, and I believe this may be the final nail in the coffin of their relationship, tells her that it’s time for her to start acting her age.

Keith! Come on, dude!

To make matters worse, the walk out of the salon JUST in time to see Archie whisk Rita off in his sexy black convertible. As they drive off leaving Audrey and Keef in the dust, Audrey tells him not to say a word.

Meanwhile, meanwhile, back at the Rovers, a slightly bitter Blanche expresses her disgust to Sean about Archie’s choice of show. ‘All those perver-sexuals, tucking their tackle where the sun don’t shine!’

BTW - Archie is DEFINATLY OAP tottie - for that car alone.

I Want To Be Sedated
Oh my God, Gayle is really going off her nut. She’s decided take a sick day off and stay at home because, ‘I’m not fit to be around humanity.’

Gayle, sweetie, that’s nothing new.

Anyone remember annoying depressed Gayle back in 1995 when Martin had the affair? This is a repeat performance and makes me want to just send a box of sleeping pills to her fedex. Sarah tries once again to be the voice of reason and tries to calm down Gayle who by this point is in such a fit of paranoia she begins to suspect such evil gin soaked bitches as Claire and Emily.

Hello! How about Bethany?!

Later at the Kabin, Gayle komes in for some kondiments, khokolate and kigarettes and is subjekted to wikked gossip from Norris, Blanche and Rita. There’s a suggested that about her going off the deep end and sending the greeting kards to herself as a kry for help.

She storms out of shop and runs into Eileen who tries to hold out an olive branch, noting that Gayle’s going through a lot and doesn’t need grief from her. Gayle’s not in a forgiving mood and even more so when she see the Richard Hillman twin that Les has been on about.

Audrey comes over to check on Gayle and when Gayle starts going on about seeing Hillman, Audrey suggest that Gayle get some medical help.

If You Got The Time…
We get a look at the shangrila that is Lister’s flat - splendid in purple stripped wallpaper, dart board, empty beer cans, a neon ‘Jazz’ sign and a fishnet sock leg lamp marked ‘Fragile’.

Glacia puts down her Harvey Wallbanger in order to call in a 911 to Colin and Justin.

Kelly is wisely picking out new wallpaper when Lister asks why she’s not wearing the watch Becky gave her. Kelly is convinced that the watch is hot even after Lister shows her some ‘this watch is not hot’ engraving on the back.

They head over to Rovers where Becky catches up with them and tries to join them for a few brewskis. When Kelly passes on the threesome, Becky notices that she’s not wearing the watch. She tells Kelly it’s okay if she doesn’t like it, she’ll exchange it for something else.

Kelly tells her that it’s not that she doesn’t like it, it’s just that it’s a bit HOT for her wrist. Becky is rightfully insulted and later on the street throws the receipt in Kelly’s face.

Kelly must be pretty full from all the humble pie she’s been eating this week.

In Other News
Rosie comes home and Craig joins her parents at the hospital to pick her up. Sally comes home later that day to find that Craig has been waiting on her daughter hand and food – feeding her seiten soup and reading Edward Gorey poetry.

Mrs. Webster is pleased.

Les and Ches are becoming quite a unit and Les is proudly telling everyone and sundry that he’s going to pass on all his worldly knowledge to Chesney and gee, don’t they even look alike.

Chesney is very happy when Les says that he tells the passengers in his cab that he has four kids, Gregory (aka Sally's ex-lover), Toyah, Leanne and Chesney.


John said...

I've been on Keith's side in that he's an OAP struggling to get by on what little he has and I always thought Audrey needed to adjust to that. But I have to say I'm with Audrey on this one. She's perfectly healthy and happy with her life, running the salon, going to parties, etc. Keith needs to realise that not everyone is happy with the OAP set.

Not saying that either way is better than the other (although Audrey obviously enjoys life more) but both of these people are set in their ways. It just ain't gonna work.

'Pervosexuals.' Heh. I love Blanche.

Jacqueline said...

I've said it before and I'll say it again....Keef needs a nice Yorkshire lass.

I need a nice Yorkshire pudding.

Rob Swizzle said...

Gail day out consists of a walk to The Kabin and back? That'll clear her head!

Some days The Street feels like Gilligan's Island.

missusmac said...

Blanche gets all the great lines, doesn't she?

Keith needs a lottery win, or a smack to his head. Audrey has to act her age? I think she's doing just fine.

Jacqueline said...

Glacia cleaning up keyboard after reading Gilligan's Island comment and spraying Tom Collins out of her mouth.

The Big Seester said...

You know, if Gail's voice gets any higher-pitched, dogs will begin howling in pain.

I STILL don't get what is supposed to be so scary about this (of course, I grew up in Detroit, so...) She's going to lose it over THIS? Acting like a lunatic is not going to make everyone else on The Street think you're normal.

And, can I just say, Sarah must have ridden the short bus to Weatherfield Comprehensive, because once again, it was her big fat mouth that got everybody talking. Geez Louise, BETHANY probably gets that you don't yammer about family problems in the middle of the salon by now.

You'd think that Sarah would have learned her lesson after her mum and Eileen almost came to blows in the middle of t'Rovers. MORON.

Michigander Fan

The Big Seester said...

I like Keef. I like Audrey. But, every time they appear on screen together, the theme song from The Odd Couple plays in my head. (That's right. I have my own soundtrack. Deal with it. At least I don't get greeting cards from beyond the grave.)

Rob, the Gilligan's Island concept was apt. I mean, Tyrone and Molly have proven that it is possible to escape from The Street (unless there's a giant pond that I'm not seeing where the truck ended up), so why doesn't she hop one of those convenient buses to somewhere else for a day?

Missus, I LOVE Blanche. I mean, she's mean old biddy, but whenever I see her on the screen, I know to be prepared for anything. She's awesome! They'd better never give her Alzheimers, that's all I can say.

The Richard Hillman greeting card thing is wearing thin. Seriously. Unless he's actually coming back from the dead, this is really a stupid storyline. Are there any UK readers out there who can at least assure us that, yes, we do want to keep paying attention, for it will All Be Worth It In The End?!?!

Michigander Fan

The Big Seester said...

You know, we haven't considered the possibility of Emily sending the cards...

Nah. I'm still going with David.

Michigander Fan

Jacqueline said...

Big Seester,

I've peered into the future and I can assure you that it does fact i htink fairly shortly. The climax is well, boring after all this work up.

Reminds of the 'For Godsake's Just DIE' Katy storyline.

Anonymous said...

I have also been on Keith's side. I think that Audrey is really pretentious and has forgotten her days as the town trollop.

However, someone needs to tell Keith that they aren't dead! Come on guy. What makes him think she'd be into going to an OAP event.

I wonder if Blanche will be there. If she was going, I'd go for sure.

tanzie said...

I have a question...nothing pertaining to the chat going on, but it came to mind when Craig and Kevin were in the kitchen. Just exactly was is the appeal in mushy peas? I know Craig didn't make them for Rosie, but everyone seems to go for them like they're ambrosia. Anyone??

Jacqueline said...

Don't ask me...I can't even stay in the same room as mushy peas.

The 1st Mr.Glacia was a fan of mushy peas. The FIRST Mr. Glacia.

The Big Seester said...


You're kidding. After all this crap, it's a letdown? OK, whoever the brainiac was behind this storyline, they need to go sit in the corner for an extended time-out.


Tanzie, I do not know what "mushy peas" are, but they don't sound appealing.

Michigander Fan

John said...

I've only had mushy peas, as we say in the Maritimes, the once. It was near Liverpool and I rather enjoyed them. They're not made with the same bean we eat over here. It's a different kind of thing. I wasn't gaga for it, I just liked them.

But do they not have guacamole in England? Kevin was acting as though he'd never heard of such an exotic dip.

Then again, as nobody EVER LEAVES THE STREET, the closest people come to ethnic food is that pizza restaurant.

The Big Seester said...

I know, even WONG runs a fish & chip shop. There's no Chinese takeaway (as Hyacinth Bucket would say) or an Indian restaurant or anything. Weird. To me, life isn't worth living without Thai and Lebanese food.

Michigander Fan

Kristin said...

wrt Keef: I think he was born with a mental age of 65. He and Audrey are so mismatched. The sex must be good for it to have lasted this long.

wrt Bethany: because I also follow along with the current episodes in england, i remember finding a blog when these episodes were running that was counting the number of days without a glimpse of bethany. I think they reached something like 105 days! There can't be that many weeds in Gail's garden.

Jacqueline said...

It's only a let down in the sense that it's no suprise who's the culprit.

Thai food...I've been living off of CocoRice thai food for the last few days. (Very close to the Travelodge hotel - recommended for Corrie Canucks comeing to BIS).

The Big Seester said...


You are whetting my appetite - is it David? I'm so sure it's David. It just seems like such a David thing to do. I mean, best case scenario, he did it to break up Gail and Dr. Phil, and never intended for it to go this far (and never expected the cops to be called in). Worst case scenario, he really is that much of a little sociopath...

How long do I have to wait to find out?

Michigander Fan

John said...

Wong's is actually dead on - for some reason, Asians have taken over the chippy trade in UK. But they usually offer cheap Chinese takeaway alongside the fish n' chips.

Which brings me to a complaint I've had about the show before in that if it were really a working class neighbourhood in a large British city, there would be a lot more than one Indian family (Dev & Amber) on the street. Aside from Kelly, Lloyd, and Joanne, Coronation Street is a really Caucasian place.

Mmmm...thai food...

Grand Tuma said...

Hey, mushy peas are great! You can get them as a side at either of the Chippy's locations here in Toronto. They're like a smokey pea soup, only thicker.

Of course, I also like haggis. Hmmm.

Pamer said...

Mushy Peas sound damn good, I've never had them but I love me some French Style pea soup with smokey bacon.

That Leg Lamp in Listers flat is from the movie "A Christmas Story". A friend of mine has a similar one.

John said...

I googled 'mushy peas' and came up with the dry kind that look like green mashed potatoes that I ate, and this other, wet, soupy kind that doesn't look terribly appetising at all.

I think I may stick to Thai food in Toronto.

(London) Rob said...

Ohmigod, you guys are cracking me up with all these comments! By the way Jacqueline, what's the record number of comments? 22? now 23?

Wonder who'll be the first of us who actually get fired for spending too much time on this website?

Jacqueline said...

January 27, 2006 - 11 postings and 67 comments.

Anonymous said...

regarding the food thing.

Didn't they have a Thai or Asian place on the street? I seam to remember two people (maybe Frankie?) going on a date and one of them refused to "share" the dish, which was the custom at that particular resturant. However, I don't think we ever saw that place again.

John said...

I don't think that was on Coronation Street or even in the neighbourhood of Weathefield. It may have been in Manchester proper. All I remember is Nathan ordering 8 bowls of sticky rice because he's a man who knows what he wants.

The Big Seester said...

So there clearly is an escape route off The Street. Now if someone could just show Gail where it is, she could jump through the Wardrobe into Narnia and hang out with people who don't know and don't care that she used to be married to Tricky Dick Hillman.

Maybe, like Dorothy in Oz, she wouldn't exactly know how to get back...dare we dream?

Michigander Fan