Thursday, August 31, 2006

Cat - The Other White meat - Part II



Keith puts his 'Rotisserie Chicken' money saving scheme into action for a dinner date with Audrey. For some reason Craig and Rosie were not invited to the event.

What's The Best Way to Kill Someone On Corrie?

Invite them around for a sing-song at the Rovers.

The first death at the Rovers was Martha Longhurst who died during a rounding sing-song.




But wait...didn't Tracey's dad died during the HokiePokie?

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Update - August 30 - Just For Laughs Gags Edition

The Money Pit

Danny is complaining about the way Leanne makes eggs. He prefers them runny, all the better to dip his soldiers in.

Later, he complains off Leanne's culinary skills at dinnertime as she serves him frozen pasta, nuked in the microwave. Leanne feels she is being unfairly compared to Frankie and Danny still wants to get back together with and that he sees Leanne as second best.

Nonetheless, it's official: a letter has arrived from Frankie's solicitor advising of her intent to divorce.

Meanwhile at Underworld, Danny is having a go at Adam over some shoddy workmanship he oversaw as Mike tells them to forget all that. It seems some cheques for an account Danny runs have gone missing.

"Nobody's pointing any fingers," Mike says, pointing a finger at Danny. "But we have to find out what happened to those cheques."

Danny mentions the incident to Leanne, who asks if he did in fact steal the cheques. He swears he didn't, saying it would be stupid to steal from his own company. But Leanne points out that the company isn't really his and what little of it is his, will soon be Frankie's.

Get a Room

Chez Grimshaw, Jason is astounded at the amount of money Sean spends on skin care. Sean asks who looks better: Cliff Richard, or Keith Richards? Eileen asks ah, but who had more fun.

Jason is still looking for a way to have Sarah over for a little rumpy-pumpy but Sean tells him Joanne is coming over later. So no nookie for him.

Just for Laughs Gags

Sunita is complaining that her first Christmas with the twins won't be the same without Dev. Shelly and Violet decide to cheer her up by going in the backroom and getting drunk. Well, Shel and Violet will get drunk. Pregnant Sunita will watch them. Shel gets Sean to cover her shift.

As the night wears on, the girls get drunker and Violet is still angry with Sean over not telling her about Jason and Sarah.

Men are Bad so the best way to get revenge is to play practical jokes on them. Violet calls in four pepperoni pizzas to Dev's shop. Then they send a cab for a handicapped person to Charlie Stubbs. Finally, Violet puts up a sign in the phonebooth which reads:

Bad boy builder Jason offers gay massage
(phone number)
Can he fix it?
Yes he can!

Brilliant!

In my day, we didn't have any of these newfangled video games. We had one game. It was called "Stare at the Sun!" That's the way it was and we liked it!

Keith invites Audrey over for dinner as Craig is off on a school trip. He worries that he's staying in a hostel and such comforts are raising "a generation of Nancies." Kids today should be sleeping outdoors in December. My lovely missus, a longstanding old school Scouting enthusiast, would agree.

In any case, he invites Audrey over for dinner, which he almost burns because he fell asleep on the couch. They talk about Keith's old fashioned ways, which he's proud of, given the filth on TV these days. In any case, Audrey had a little too much wine so Keith invites her to stay the night. Oh but not like that, he adds. Anyway, they kiss.

Meanwhile...

Rosie invites Craig to the Orc Hill Ball. He accepts, happy that it's "black tie" as everything he owns in black.

Steve doesn't want Moley to stay her first night alone in her new flat. She goes off anyway.

Liz is working at Vernon's chilly record stall while he does a senior's gig. They have a date later and end up at Steve/Liz's flat. Now I see why Steve wanted Moley around so much.

Sean tells Jason the flat is empty now that he's doing Shelly's shift so Sarah comes over for two pints of lager and a packet of crisps and some sex. They skip the lager and crisps.

Phil cooked a nice dinner for Platts which David appreciated by loudly eating crisps in front of the tele. He thinks Phil should have made a haggis or deep fried Mars bar because he's Scottish and all. Yes, and Lancashire cuisine is all lentils and salads.

Bet, Bet, Bet, Bet

It's Bet Lynch's first appearance. Glacia can die in peace now.

TY for posting this TinyVi!

A Lovely Time and Eccles Cakes Too!

We had our 54th Annual Toronto Corrie Canuck Pub Night last night and an enjoyable evening was enjoyed by all who enjoyed it.

j-b3-stanleyst1953

About 10 Corrie Canucks showed up and we had much discussion over a few pints and grub.

Highlights of the evening were:

Discovering that two of our Corrie Canuck ladies are to be wed in the coming months. A suggestion has been made that our next pub night be a Hen Party to send them off. I'm soooooooooooo up for that.

We've gained another contributor - M. will be joining the Corrie Update Power Team and will be giving us our Friday updates.

Lisa from Scarberia treated Glacia to a dvd copy of Little Britain first season. TY lady!

C. won the fabulous 'Mrs. Richard Fleischman' key chain. I will be contacting Richard very soon and letting him know that his bride awaits.

A suggestion has been made to maybe do a 'Corrie Character of the Week' segment here and give some back ground info on Corrie Characters we know and love.

And finally K. brought delicious Eccles Cakes to the event and was even good enough to share the recipe

Here's the recipe for Eccles Cakes....tres simple! Given that it's a British recipe, most amounts are in mass, not volume.

Puff Pastry, 200g
25g butter or margarine
1 tbsp white sugar
75g currants
25g mixed peel
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
white sugar for dusting

1. Preheat oven to 200C/425F. Roll puff pastry on a lightly floured surface to 3mm/ 1/8". Cut into rounds using a 10cm/4" cutter

2. Cream the butter/margarine with the sugar. Add the fruits and spices. Place spoonfuls of mixtures into the centre of each round and
gather up the edges to make a ball. With the smooth side upward, flatten it into a cake. Using a sharp knife, cut 2 slits into the cake.

3. Brush with water and sprinkle with sugar. Bake for 17-20 min, or until golden brown.

Makes 12-14





Please note that food is ALWAYS a welcomed sight for Glacia and feel free to bring treats to the Corrie events - or if you live too far away, just send them to me directly in Toronto. I work from home and am able to sign for any fed-exed food that comes my way.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Update for Episode # 6179 August 29, 2006



Fred trips the light fantastic at the Annual Brewery Dinner Dance.

Trying to get over my unhappy childhood

It is morning on the street and we are treated to a good-bye snog between Tracey and Satan, I mean Charlie, in his doorway. Tracey tells Charlie 'thank you for having me' (so to speak) like Deirdre told her to do when she stays over at a friends.

Nathan sees the two lovebirds (as in lonely narcissists) and does not seem to be too bothered by it all.

Tracey returns to Number 1 where Ken and Deirdre are having their morning brew, in an understandable state of agitation at where their daughter has been all night. Deirdre gives Tracey some stick about her parenting skills (or lack thereof) telling her 'don't worry, Amy's fine' - she is off with Liz somewhere. (no doubt shopping at 'Cougars R'Us)

After a period of inquisition Tracey tells her parents that she spent the night with Charlie, to which Ken replies 'Are you mad or stupid?' A little of both I think.

Tracey justifies her behaviour as a way of 'trying to get over my unhappy childhood.'

Later we see Ken and Deirdre in The Rovers chatting over a (half) pint to see what they did wrong in the child rearing process. They can think of nothing they did wrong, leaving to Deirdre to admit about Tracey that 'she's horrible' and the best they can do is ignore her cry for attention and hope Charlie dies a nasty lingering death in the very near future.

Should I join a gym?

Fred has an invite to the Annual Brewery Dinner Dance. Shel and Bev have a bet about who Fred will ask to go with him to the big event. There is much coy behaviour by the women, Fred seems to want to join a gym for some reason, a fiver changes hands a few times but it all works out in the end - Fred and Bev are going to the do together. Perhaps the beginning of a romance? I for one would be happy to see it.

No Jason in my house

Jason and Sarah, young and in lust, are frustated in their efforts to do the horizontal limbo by their respective mothers who will not allow either of them in each others houses. Jason, the romantic fool that he is, suggests the builders yard for a tryst. (sorry about that nail in your ass dear) (no pun intended there - really) However, Charlie shows up and ruins this brain storm.

The two are left with no option but to hang out in The Rovers and canoodle in a booth, ruining everyones appetites. Alcohol sales do go up though. Mother Montague and Mother Caplulet snipe at each other at the bar until Sean does his impersonation of a gay Kofi Annan and brings peace between the two factions. Gail insists that there is a truce in place, but this seems unlikely.

The plan to keep the dim-witted duo apart falls apart though when Charlie gives them the keys to his flat so they can have a little privacy.

Charlie orders two pints of 'wifebeater' from Shel, who is suitably unimpressed.

You look like a kicked dog

Steve is still miffed at Ronnie because she has let a flat of her own instead of moving in with him. It seems her staying at his flat the past while she was in trouble was just Ronnie finding any port in a storm. And he was going to take her on holiday so he wouldn't have to give any of his earnings or chattel to Karen in the divorce. Who says romance is dead.

Steve and Eileen deabte commitment in the office of Streetcars. No great conclusions of any consequence are reached.

Frankie comes in with their lunch order and moans about how skint she is. Eileen tells her whenever she needs some money she just raises the rent of whoever is living in her house. (that hardly seems fair - or legal) All and sundry are shocked to discover Frankie isn't charging her son and the 'alcofrolic' any rent.

Eileen and Lloyd engage in some strange code on the radio.

Gird your loins

Sal and Kev decide it's time to go visit the relatives from the other side of the family and put a stop to the bad influence Nicolette is being on their Sophie. Kev wants to clean up from the garage before going over but Sally insists it won't be necessary, beacuse 'they're scum'.

They arrive at in very lovely neighbourhood with no abandoned fridges or burnt cars anywhere in sight. They come up to a very nice house and are greeted quite cordially at the door by cousin Paul, who shakes the greasy hand of Kev. (he could have at least washed his hands) They gather in a delightful sitting room with soothing classical music playing in the background. It turns out Paul and his wife are lecturers and have done quite well for themselves.

Sal and Kev try to tell them how 'Nicorette' is being a bad influence on their daughter, how 'their litle witch' is corrupting darling Sophie.

Paul and his wife tell them that Nicolette was fine till she fell under the influence of the Webster clan.

Sal calls the two of them 'sandal wearing fakes.'

Paul tells Sal she is a 'screeching bleach blonde harpy.' (good line)

The parents agree that it is best for the girls not to see each other. After the Websters leave Paul confirms with his wife that the other side of the family are 'scrapings from the bottom of the gene pool.'

In the end everyone is happy at the Webster household, with Kev going to the chippy to get some unhealthy for the family, so they eat it out of the paper in front of the telly, and be true to their Weatherfield roots.

Larry, Moe and Curly

Steve, Lloyd and Nathan are in The Rovers having some sort of a contest debating who is better off in their respective female relationship status.

Kelly comes in for a drink, and Lloyd isinspired to get back into her good books by doing a little crooning in her direction. Understandably she pours her drink over his head. I would have poured a drink over his head for being such a git.

But at least she's talking to him again.

Last Reminder

The Corrie Canucks will be meeting at the Auld Spot Pub on the Danforth at 7pm.

Special feature is the 'Crap Glacia Buys on Ebay' contest. If you would like a chance to win this beautiful key chain, remember to select a Corrie character.



I'll be basic questions about the characters - so brush up on your trivia.

See y'all there.

And if you look closely you can see the Millenium Falcon

Interesting report on how the current opening titles incorporate computer generated imagery, including before and after pictures. It's all so seemless that I thought most of what I was watching was the actual set, with a bit of stuff in the background.
Champers For Everyone!
Nathan comes to visit Ashley with a bag of magazines and dvd’s for his recovery. Claire gives Nathan the ‘Glare of Claire’ until he tells them that he’s broken up with Tracey. Claire is pleased and offers Nathan a cuppa.

Claire and Ashley go to the doctor’s office where some testing shows that Ashley is getting his eyesight back.

Hurrah!

They go to the Rovers after hearing the good news and Nathan joins in the celebration. Claire orders up some Mumm’s, but Nathan and Ashley who CLEARLY have no taste, pass on the bubbly. (I bet they don’t even care for caviar.)

More good news for Claire when Ashley announces that he has given up boxing for good.

What If You Threw a Jealousy Party and No One Cared
Tracey, seeing Nathan having a life without her makes a sharp beeline for Charlie. Charlie asks if she is just cozing up to him out of revenge. She says ‘Yes.’and he says, ‘Good’ – they then proceed to make EVERYONE in the world jealous with their sexy ways.

Problem is, no one really cares – except maybe Shel a bit. (Which I don’t understand, wasn’t she the one to throw his sorry ass to the curb?)

You’ll Be Hearing From My Solicitor!
Frankie has a date with the lawyer and Carol (who has cleaned up very nicely might I add) suggest that they go together – both wives seeking revenge. As tempting as that is, Frankie decides to go it alone and on her way to the lawyers, sees Danny. They both give longing looks to each other.

It’s kind of sad because they both clearly still love each other. But as Frankie said way back, ‘I can’t have let you keep hurting me like this.’

Later, when Frankie’s working at Roys, Carol comes in (again, looking really good) to see how Frankie’s lawyer date went. Oh and to quickly change the subject to herself and announce that she has a date with her boss.

Funniest Line of the Show
Leanne asks for money so that she can replace the Star Wars duvet covers that her and Danny have been making mad passionate love under. She also takes the opportunity to buy some new threads.

After her shopping, she pops into Underworlds to visit Danny. Her presences gets everyone into a tither and results in Janice and Sally having a fight after Sal trash talks Leanne.

When fisticuffs break out, Danny comes charging out screaming…..wait for it…..

‘Oi! Desperate Fishwives!’

(Glacia spilled her vodka over that one.)

At this point Mike comes in and tells Leanne to hit the road. He also warns Danny that he should be careful not to mess up his career over Leanne the same way he messed up his marriage.

Our Pet Nicollete
(I’m gonna just KEEP on making references to old Canadian shows, people.)

Nicollete visits the Websters and is so mouthy that Sally has to tell her to watch herself. When Sophie and the cousin from hell leave, Sal is really agitated. Kev tells her that they’ll survive this latest phase and offers to take her out for dinner.

Sal says – I don’t believe it – ‘Kev, I don’t know what I’d do without you.’ (SEE – there’s still remnants of that sweet, appreciative gal in there.)

The go out for a night on the town, leaving Rosie and Craig in charge of the house. However, the minute they walk out the door, Sophie comes scampering down the stairs in an outfit straight out of Cilla’s closet announcing that she is going out for chips.

Rosie forbids her to go out at that time of night because it’s late and she knows that Sophie is just going to meet up with Nicollete anyway. Sophie screams, ‘You’re not the boss of me’ and stomps out anyway.

Rosie and Craig go looking for her and march her back into the house and tell Kev and Sally when they get home.

The thought of their 11 year old hanging out on the streets in the middle of the night freaks them out and Sophie gets a dressing down from both parents. Sal expresses concerns about Sophie getting attacked by a pervert and scares both herself and Sophie.

I have to say, despite the drama, it’s great to see Sal, Kev and Rosie working together to protect the wee one.

In Other News
Jason and Sarah in love – and that just makes me very quesy.

Moley-Moley has got her own flat, much to Stevo’s chagrin. Also, he’s getting sued by Karen so he wants to blow his money on a big vacay with Moley so there’s no money for Karen to get .

Sorry, why is Karen entitled to Steve’s money? She hardly supported his way through law school.

Monday, August 28, 2006

It's HYYYYDRO-Matic!



Another YouTube find: The boys from Corrie performing 'Grease Lightning.' Looks to be a few years old by the looks of Craig and David. And did Kirkeh just say 'pussy wagon'?

I like stuff like this because in Canada, we rarely see these actors in any other context than the actual show.

This was done as part of a special broadcast for Children in Need.

Another Milestone Reached



Sometime this past weekend our little blog had visitor number 200,000.

Update for Last Friday

Show Me the Money
What’s up with Keith? He tells Audrey that he is deliverying the newpapers because he needs the money.

Is there something I missed? Why is Keith in such dire straights?

Audrey apologizes about the suit mishmash and they kiss and make up of a sorts and go to the Rovers for a pint…(on Keith).

Rumble in the Rovers
As predicted, Danny, Frankie, Jamie and Leanne have a ruckus in the Rovers and everyone except for Jamie feel the need to leave. It all explodes when Danny tells Frankie how Jamie warned Leanne to not become a pathetic wreck like Frankie.

Frankie is furious that Jamie thinks so poorly of her and runs home for a cry. Jamie comes home and asks Carol to tear herself away from her ‘Wheel of Fortune’ show and give them some privacy.

Frankie and Jamie also make up and Frankie makes Jamie promise that Leanne will never step foot in her house again.

Carol, not being the center of attention, fakes a fall down the stairs in order to bring the story back to her.

(See I kind of thought it was the booze that made Carol a jerk. I guess I was wrong.)


Disco Stu, Has a Job For You!
Diggory gets fed up with Liz’s tardiness and general lame ass work ethic and fires her.

Liz is only upset for a millisecond because she has a date with Vernon in the Rovers. They meet up with Deidre and he seems to be a generally okay bloke and says Liz can help him sell LP’s on the market.

The Trouble With Tracey
Tracey, that monument to security and self esteem, starts to question Nathan again about his walk home with Frankie.

He assures her that nothing happens and she then turns her attention to all the women in the pub. She begins to slag each of them to Nathan and Charlie including saying that Frankie is “Like some kind of desperate stand up comic’ (get it?)

Nathan finally stands up and tells them they are through.

Because…..Wait for it….

‘You’re an ugly person, Tracey.’, says our Nathan.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Corrie vs. Eastenders



2DTV's take on the rivalry between Eastenders and Coronation Street. Uploaded to YouTube by cjmacdonald1989.

"You call that a storyline, I say, you call that a storyline?"

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Missusmac asks:


Annie Walker and Betty Turpin circa 1567

With regards to the black and white video, 'Who are these people and why is there a seal in their tub?'

They are Annie and Jack Walker, who owned the Rovers when Corrie started. I am too young to remember Jack, but I DEFINATELY remember Annie running the pub after Jack passed away. A formidable landlady.

I couldn't find a pic of Jack unfortunately, but for more info on Annie, clickez vous ici.

Now, how the seal got in their tub, I'll never know.

Glacia Can't Breathe....

It's Hilda, it's Bet, it's the last real man on Corrie - Percy 'Freakin' Sugden (my hero)! It's the ducks and Hilda's 'Muriel'.

This is a brilliant, brilliant video. You can even see Sally as the very sweet girl I remember and Moustached Kev.

TY Anon for pointing it out!



This is back in the day when they gave characters REAL send offs.

I love Hilda Ogden philosophy:

'When you get a skipping rope and the other girl gets a doll you realize that life might be a dissappointment.'

'Many a night I came in cold, wet and without a penny in pocket and those ducks lifted my spirits.'

'Stan was my real life, this cottage is just make believe.'

Friday, August 25, 2006

Toronto Corrie Pub Night

A reminder:

Tuesday, Aug 29, 7 pm

Auld Spot Pub
347 Danforth Ave,
Toronto

If you would like the evite invitation contact me at glacia at gmail dot com.

I've got 10 peeps so far, if you are planning to attend but haven't let me know yet, just drop me a line so I can tell the Auld Spot how many to expect.

*****IMPORTANT***** To those coming to the event, I've got a e-bay prize. Your homework this weekend will be to choose a character and research their history on the show (e.g. have they been divorced, do they have a brother.) I'll be asking questions regarding characters and the last man/woman standing wins the beautiful e-bay corrie prize. (In case of an even score - I'll have a tie breaker).

Thanks TinyVi

Thanks to Tiny who keeps posting these gems on youtube!



'I know you'll think I'm being akward...' GOLD!

Lowered Expectations Update

le

Silver Medal Finalist…Leanne
On the Baldwin front, Danny tries to talk to Frankie again to apologize and woo her back. She tells him to shove off. Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

Jamie, however, calls Leanne to say that he needs to talk to her. She meets up with him, all a titter at the thought of him asking her to get back together with him. Turns out he just wanted to warn Leanne about Danny’s evil ways and that she should be cautious not to become sad old alcoholics like Frankie and Carol.

Leanne is furious about this and tells him to mind his own business and that Danny is twice the man he his, then stomps out the door with a fine, ‘Well, screeeeeeeeeeeeew you!

Danny and Leanne re-group at the apartment and she expresses concerns that Danny only wants Frankie.

Danny says that he does want Frankie and that Leanne wants Jamie but that’s never going to happened so the reality is that Leanne is the best he can do. Leanne asks if he loves her. Danny says that he does if she wants him to and that they can be together and live happily every after (content with 2nd place).

Hurrah, says Leanne and they put on their glad rags to prance around the Rovers.

Lowered expectations……


Here’s Your G.D. Suit
Keith starts blathering on about being true to yourself and not letting anyone change you and with that resolve he goes marching over to the salon to give Audrey her suit back.

Later, Rita asks what Audrey is going to do about Keith and she seems to shrug her shoulders and says, ‘Oh I don’t know’ (which is code for I guess I’ll still go out with him.)

Lowered expectations…..

Diggory-Do
Liz is walking all over Diggory by coming in late after a booze up with Disco Stu the night before.

He tells her it’s okay, just not to lie about it. This then gives Liz carte blanche to yak on the phone and slack off.

He gives her a half hearted dressing down. She nods and then goes right back on the phone.

Lowered expectations…..

Tracey Barlow Investigates!
Tracey wants to know what REALLY happened between Nathan and Frankie as Nathan failed to return to the Rovers that night.

She confronts Nathan who tells her nothing happened, but she is not satisfied with that so she then confronts Frankie.

Frankie’s response, ‘I was at the Rovers?’. Girlfriend was far too wasted to remember anything of the night before. (Glacia wonders what it’s like to be that drunk. Naaaaaaah, I’m goofing on you! I can barely remember last night.)

Tracey then happily kisses Nathan telling her that she forgives him. He is pissed that she believes Frankie but not him - but decides Tracey’s bitchy behaviour is okay regardless.

Lowered expectations……

In other news.
Keith got a job at the Kabin as a paper boy.

Nicollete and Sophie give Roy a hard time at the café until Sal comes by and boxes their ears.

Ashley has forgiven Nathan and sits down with him for a pint.

Janice asks Danny to be gentle with Leanne. They have some kind of heart to heart about life and love.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Facts of Life Update

First of all, ta to everyone for the birthday wishes. Very much appreciated.

Second of all, Kowy, was this the hooker?



Fact of Life #1 – You Can’t Chose Your Family
toor

Sophie wants to hang around with cousin Nicolette, but Sal puts a stop to that right away with an improptu winter picnic. When the Websters return from that sojourn, Sal tries to hustle everyone back into the house for a rousing game of Monopoly.

Unfortunately, before she gets anyone in the house she is stopped by wee Nicolette yelling, ‘Hello Aunty Sal’ from across the street. Sophie runs off with her cousin and ends up sitting on the Platts stone border.

Nicolette quickly gets bored an makes a pass at David walking down the street, when he tells her to go to hell she then tells Chesney he can kiss her for a price. (Isn’t this technically hooking?)

Gayle tries to scoot both girls away and has to enlist Sally’s help. When Nicolette begins with a litugy of the family tree, Sally gives the girls some money for sweets and sends them on their way.

She quickly explains to Audrey and Gayle that the girl is her 15th cousin 4 times removed and is adopted anyway.

Facts of Life # 2 – When You Lie With Dogs, You Wake Up With Fleas.
nancys8

Danny and Leanne and seem resigned to their fate of being stuck with each other. They realized that Frankie catching them has destroyed any chance of Frankie or Jamie forgiving them. Seeing as they are both fairly insecure and need a warm body in the bed, they decide to hang together.

Such depressing despair - it’s kind of like if Edvard Munch wrote a Corrie story line.


Facts of Life # 3 – Beauty is Only Skin Deep
mindy2

All the 75 barmaids are chatting about the Traders Ball and the gossip about how each date turned out. Bev seems pretty happy with her date with Fred even though the consensus is that it was a pity date.

When Bev tells Shel that Fred kissed her, Shel says,

‘Ew!’

She warns her mom of Fred’s compulsive proposal, but Bev says it’s cool. Regardless, Shel checks with Fred to make sure he isn’t going to ask Bev to marry him and he tells Shel that it’s cool.

Then Fred tells Bev that it’s all cool and Bev says it’s all cool.

But I’m beginning to think Bev has a crush on the Butcher of Weatherfield.

Facts of Life #4 – Wait, I Forget.
garret

Mike apologizes to Danny about the cheque fiasco and asks him to come over for dinner. The Baldwins all ‘enjoy’ a lamb dinner and as they get up from the table, Mike goes to the cutlery drawer and gets forks and knives out. When Penny asks what he’s doing, he tells her that he’s setting the table for dinner.

She tells him that they’ve just had dinner and embarrassed, he tells her to stop nattering at him.

Danny, meanwhile, caught up in his own drama tells Mike that he wants to move back to London. Mike pleads with him to stay because he wants his family close.


Facts of Life #5 – An Eye for An Eye Makes the Whole World Blind



Ashley, upset about the eye situation, has lost the will to live and chooses to sit on his big sofa and yell at everyone. He chases everyone out of the house – but Claire comes home and they kiss and make up.


Facts of Life #6 – Don’t Be Such a God Damn Bitch
blair

In the pub, Tracey, Nathan and Charlie sit together and notice a very sad Frankie at the bar. Tracey starts mouthing off about Frankie’s bad luck and you can see Nathan starting to get fed up with her schadenfreude-ness.

When Charlie twirls his mustache and says he’d go for Frankie, Tracey invites her over with the plan to get her stinking drunk and have Charlie have his wicked way with her. When the time comes to walk Frankie home, however, Nathan jumps in and takes Frankie himself.

Tracey and Charlie, turned on by each other general jerkiness, start making sexual innuendos and sparks start to fly.

Meanwhile, Danny sees Nathan trying to get Frankie into the house and accuses him of trying to take advantage of her. At that time however, Jamie and Carol arrive back take Frankie off Nathan’s hands and thank him, then tell Danny to shove off.


Carol and Jamie put Frankie on the couch and Carol tells Jamie that she’ll tuck her in.

Then something weird happens, she gets all warm and fuzzy talking to the passed out Frankie making comparisons between her alcoholic breakdown and Frankie’s booze up. ‘Poor thing left all alone with nothing but a bottle to comfort her.’, she tells Frankie and then promises to make everything right.

I have no idea if that line was meant as a comfort or a threat.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Update - August 22, 2006 - But What About Prom? Edition

The Old People's Prom

The snows came early to Weatherfield this year. Norris and Rita are preparing to leave for the prom, arguing over who will pay the taxi fare. Emily sees them off but seems a little sad that nobody asked her to go the Old People's Prom Weatherfield Traders Ball.

Meanwhile, Keith and Audrey are also preparing to leave. Keith's new suit of clothes - a charity shop "find" from Audrey - is uncomfortable.

David notes that Audrey said that she bought it new. David is dispatched as Keith rows with Audrey over the expensive jacket she bought him.

"I bet you've all had a ruddy great laugh at me," he says. "What do you take me for -- some kind of gigolo?"

Audrey laughs, despite herself and Keith, having taken great offense, storms off.

At the Old People's Prom Weatherfield Traders Ball, Liz arrives with Diggory and Liz is none too comfortable.

Diggory is proud to have Liz on his arm, from which she is trying to unhook herself. Liz notes that he is paying her time and a half. But Diggory is undeterred. He asks that Liz not think of him as her boss, a baker, or even the president of the traders' association.

"No, tonight, Elizabeth, I am a man." He says as he oggles her. "And you're a woman."

He says she's much better than Mildred from't wool shop.

But it isn't the President of the Weatherfield Traders Association that has Liz's eye; it's the drummer for the house band. He looks like a 50 year old Disco Stu. In other word's, he's Liz's perfect match.

As Liz exchanges glances with the drummer, Fred and Bev are dancing. Norris, meanwhile, is schmoozing, much to Rita and Audrey's disapproval.

"I wouldn't mind, but they're hardly business tycoons," Rita, who's getting a little drunk, says. "Him with the bald head runs that wallpaper shop near't Flying 'Orse."

Audrey laments that men have bought her dresses and she's never thrown them back. Rita says one man slapped Norris on the back and told him what a lucky fellow he was.

Meanwhile Liz is fondly stroking drummer's ... drumsticks. She establishes that she is there a a single gal as she brushes some imaginary lint off his waistcoat as Diggory looks on, unnoticed and feeling unloved.

Later, Liz and Audrey are watching the drummer, whose name, Liz says, is Vernon and she adds, he has lovely wrist action. Liz wonders if musicians are more passionate than regular blokes. Audrey says she thought Liz was with Diggory.

"I'd have to be more than desperate to go out with Diggory," Liz says, in earshot of Diggory, who starts downing more booze.

Beverly and Fred are discussing Ashley. Bev thinks he'll be ok.

"Have you seen Fred and Ginger?" she asks as we cut to Norris and Rita fancing out of time.

"Which one's Ginger?" asks Fred.

Norris thinks Rita can't keep up with him because she's drunk. Rita complains that Norris is letting people think they're a pair.

"Nobody believes we do any more than share a counter," Norris scoffs. "Anyway, it's obvious I'm years younger than you." This pisses off Rita as she tosses him out of her way and carries on dancing.

Later, Liz goes to sit by Rita. She asks he if Rita and Norris are an item. Rita shoots back, "We're just business partners."

"I just was thinking," Liz starts.

"Oh, I know what you were thinking," Rita finishes.

Audrey sits by Fred and tells him she knows he's put a little disappointed because she asked Keith and not him. Audrey tries to get Fred on to the dance floor, but he says he's spoken for and drags Bev on to the floor instead.

Keith arrives apologises for being stupid and asks her to dance. But she says no. She's had a miserable evening because of him. She tells him they're finished.

Later, drunken Diggory take the mike. He announces he's resigning his position of president of the Weatherfield Traders Association. He adds that he's life has beeing nothing but disappointment. His wife married him for his money, spent it, and then took off with the accountant.

"No-one ever sees beyond the fat man," he blurts out as the band starts up again. "I've got feelings!"

Fred tells Bev guys like he and Diggory set their sights too high.

"He should have stuck with Mildred, from't wool shop," he says.

He quickly apologises to Bev saying that he's honoured that she agreed to go with him. But says he he and Diggory are nothing alike.

"It's like comparing prime fillet with a bit of scrag end," she says.

Fred is turned on by her butchering metaphors and kisses her. She doesn't pull away.

Oh, Baby Give More Chance, to Show You I Love You

Eileen and Deirdre arrive at Frankie's to see how she is, which Carol somehow makes about how she never had any friends when Danny left her. Frankie is glad to see her friends.

Outside, Jamie meets Leanne on his way from the chippie. She tries to make amends and says they should go off together somewhere and start fresh. Jamie is having none of it and walks off. Danny finds her and invites her to the Flat Formerly Known as Martin Platt's, for all your May-December romance needs.

At Danny's, he says their relationship was just sex. Leanne feels bad about why she is the way she is and begins to cry. Danny takes her in his arms.

At Frankie's, she says Danny loved her.

"He told 75 guests and a vicar he loved me," Carol says. "It didn't stop him ruining me life."

Deirdre tactfully points out that she can't blame him for everything that's happened in her life, especially since they've been apart for twenty years. This makes Carol declare that she hates being sober and heads for the WC.

Frankie starts justifying Danny's behaviour as just sex but says she won't let him ruin her life.

But she's going to cancel her lawyer's appointment and give Danny another chance.

"I can't make myself stop loving him."

Later, Danny, wearing boxers and an unbuttoned shirt, answers a knock on the door. It's Frankie.

"Hi," she says, stepping close to him. "Can I come in?" It looks like she's going to take him back, right then and there.

"Now?" he asks. She suddenly clues in to what's happening and rushes to the bedroom and rushes out of the flat. Leanne emerges from the bedroom.

Frankie arrives home and collapses in tears on the sofa.

Back at his flat, Danny tells Leanne that he's realised he'll never get back together with Frankie. They both commiserate that they deserve their lot as Leanne agrees to stay the night.

Happy Birthday, Jacqueline!

Monday, August 21, 2006

No Spoilers Please

Can I ask that we refrain from putting spoilers in the comments section.

Update for Epiosde #6174 August 21, 2006



What Frankie envisions for old Danny boy.

The Baldwins

Carol is off to her new job at the bookies but is feeling nervous. Jamie the good son is making breakfast in bed for Frankie. Well, he isn't making the breakfast in bed...you know what I mean. Frankie makes an appearance and is in good form (so to speak) in spite of Danny's antics the previous day. Carol congratulates Frankie on her composure and advises her to 'wash that man right out of your hair'. (which could be a jingle from an old shampoo advert if memory serves me right)

Danny and Jamie yell at each other on the street.

Penny finds the missing cheque in one of Mike's pockets. He defends himself by saying he handles a lot of pieces of paper in a day, and if one goes missing, no big deal. If the cheque was in someone else's pocket, then they should start to worry.

Penny stops in at the factory for a visit with Danny to ask if he has noticed anything odd about Mike's behaviour of late. Danny, the self centered bastard that he is, of course has noticed nothing out of the ordinary.

Danny runs into Frankie on the street and tries to explain the rationale behind his strange gestures the previous day. They debate about how they hurt each other over and over again.

Frankie tells Danny she wants a divorce.

The Websters

Sophie tells her parents that she has invited a friend from school for tea. Someone who knows 'all about' Sally. The friend, named Nicolette, turns out to be a hellion with a bad attitude and a tattoo of a horny devil. Or a horned devil. Something like that. Kevin like her - she's rough asnd ready. Sally thinks that she's scum.

It turns out that Nicolette is a cousin of Sophie, from the side of the family that Sally has chosen not to mention to anyone. Sal's dad had a sister named Velda (sic) that was a bit on the wild side, (a lady of the evening it would seem) so any offspring from that side of the family tree must also be undesirable. Sally naturally assumes that Nicolette has been sent on a spying mission, to see how the better half live. (ie Kevin and Sally et al)

The Peacocks and Elliott

Fred and Claire have a serious chat in the kitchen about Ashley's future. A butcher needs perspective it seems, it is a delicate art to carve some meat. With only one eye Ashley would soon be losing fingers at work, and then would be losing customers. (no dount when they find a finger mixed in with their bratwurst)

Tracey stops in at The Rovers and ask if there is 'any new on Cyclops?' Bitch.

At the hospital the three of them wait for the doctor to come and take off the dressings from Ashley's eye. Fred carries on in a particularily unmanly fashion until Claire tells him to shut up. The doctor finally shows up, removes the dressing, only to discover that Ashley has no vision in the damaged eye whatsoever. It seems that with time there still mnight be some recovery of his vison, but only Claire seems very optimistic about this possibility.

Fred confronts Nathan later in The Rovers and tells him if he is any kind of a man he will go across the street and see the damage he has done. Tracey somehow thinks she has the right to act indignant towards Fred. I'll say it again. Bitch.

Later at home Claire tries to create a semblance of normalcy bringing Ashley some tea and talking about the great chops Fred brought home and how it would be nice to have a family dinner. (Claire is the best - really)

Ashley sits on the sofa not saying a word, a tear running down his cheek.

* Historical trivia note - Tracey makes reference to 'Peters & Lee' whilst talking about Ashley's situation. Lennie Peters was half of a musical team a few decades back. He lost sight in his left eye at age five when struck by a vehicle. He lost his sight in his right eye at age sixteen after getting struck with a brick thrown by some louts while he was sunbathing in Hampstead. They reattached the retina in the hospital, but he suffered permanent damage to the eye and lost his reamining vision when he tried to stop a fellow patient from falling out of his bed. The other patient died in spite of Lennie's efforts. I'm not making this up, really.

The Secret Traders Other Ball

Bev is excited that Fred has asked her to the Traders Association Dinner, and has gotten her best smock out of mothballs for the occasion. Fred decides against going, what with situation with Ashley and all he won't be able to enjoy himself.

Liz wants her girlfriends to be at the dinner to protect her from Diggory, who makes her feel like her flesh wants to crawl off her body. Yes, I'll be having nightmares about that too.

Audrey is bringing Keith to the dinner, in spite of his protests about not being a charity case. And speaking of charity - Audrey took the time to find a suit for Keith in the charity shop. Emily, who has volunteered in some charity shops, is very impressed at how little the suit has been worn. Why it's almost as if it's brand new... At least Keith volunteered to get a round in.

Emily would like to go to the dinner as well, have a night out, a bit of fun, do some dancing. Norris however, is not picking up on her clues, and somehow thinks that he is Rita's backup date for the big do.

After hearing the bad news at the hospital Fred has a change of heart and decides that he wants to go to the dinner with Bev. When asked by Bev why he has changed his mind he tells her when an opportunity for happiness in life comes along, you have to 'grab hold and suck the marrow out of it.' An appropriate metaphor for a butcher, but not very appealing to a woman, one would suspect.

Thursday/Friday Update Omnibus

Sorry I am late with this, I was pre-occupied this weekend.

Jacqueline BD 045

The Secret Trader’s Other Ball
The square dealers are having some sort of shindig and Diggory is looking for a date. He asks Liz repeatedly – who repeatedly says no until he offers to pay her wages to go. She agrees under the condition that he keeps his paws to himself.

Fred casually asks Bev to attend with him and seems shocked when she actually agrees.

Kir-keh’s Fizzy Pop
After Fizz stands up to Molly, Kir-keh realizes how much he loves her and goes back to her waiting arms. Fizz is happy but insists that he fire Molly from the job.

Kir-keh tries to fire her, but Molly and Diggory let him know that that’s unfair dismissal. So he gives her a pay raise instead.

Guilt
Nathan fesses up to Fred that he the fight between him and Ashley happened outside of the ring and without the gloves on. Fred is unsure how to take this news until Ashley tells him to treat Nathan as a friend.

Neither Nathan nor Ashley will say what the fight was about, but everyone suspects its about Claire. Who, btw, is not so forgiving and wants Nathan to stay away.

Tracey makes snide remarks, finds out how bad Ashley is, feels bad for a millisecond and then deals with her guilt by making more snide remarks.

Nathan meanwhile tells Kevin how he was raised in a nice middle class home but how he was a reckless wild youth and is now alienated from his family.

Ashley could lose the vision in his eye, but we’ll have to see.

Danny, Mike, Bob and Carol
Danny tries to win Frankie back on the anniversary of their engagement by sending flowers around. When that doesn’t work, he decides to go for something bigger.

With all the tact of a baseball stadium proposal, he gets some sort blimp shaped balloon thing to rise above the factory with a sign, ‘Frankie – I Love You – Danny’.

He mutters to himself, ‘She’s just got to take me back now.’

She doesn’t. Surprisingly enough, she found the whole thing a bit sick and twisted.

He comes over that evening to sweet talk her back into his arms and is almost successful until Jamie walks in and tosses him out.

Mike is really starting to lose it. He was supposed to deposit a check to the bank and not only did he forget to do it, but he forgot that he even had a check.

Carol seems to be doing nicely with the sober thingy. She did need some convincing to go the AA meeting, but other than that she’s been off the booze.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

More Vintage Corrie



"Oh Coronation Street's alright. Mind, there's some you'll have to watch."

The first five minutes of the first episode ever broadcast. Florie Lindley has just taken over the corner shop after recently arriving to the street. Elsie and Dennis Tanner are arguing over money and local golden boy Ken Barlow is sitting down to his tea. It's funny how the actors specifically refer to the residents and their house number as a way of setting us up for their introduction.



"I think you want your head examining. Mind, that's just my opinion of course."

Annie and Jack Walker, owners of the Rover's.



"...foul-mouthed, beer-swilling moron like you!"

Aw, it's Ken Barlow's first bar fight. Sadly, it does not go well for him. He hasn't even hit the ground and they're already rolling the credits.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Waxing Nostalgic



Part of the charm (and sometimes a bit of a drawback) of Coronation Street is the ever changing cast of charcters. The longevity of the show gives you the chance to really get to 'know' some of those characters. Sadly, at some point these characters will move on or pass away. (except for Ken Barlow of course) My favourite Coronation Street cast member who is no longer on the show is Norman 'Curly' Watts, played by Kevin Kennedy. Curly and I go back a few decades and we sort of grew up together. There are rumours that he might be written back into the show someday, which would be great. Till then I shall wax nostalgic and raise a pint to the memory of Curly. Cheers!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Research

research

I'm on the quest to find out about the Joshua storyline.

I'm not sure myself how Tracey would know about Little J's parentage. In addition, I'm also not sure that it's 100% that Matt was J's daddy.

I'm doing the research and have sent an email to Glenda from Corrie.net to see if she remembers.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Update - Episode #6171 August 16th - "I Must Break You" Edition

It's All Fun and Games Until Someone Loses An Eye

At Fred Elliot's butcher shop, Ashley is angrily chopping up some innocent meat. Fred thinks it's because he and Claire are having a row. Claire comes and says she's surprised Ashley isn't at the gym. Ashley says he's too upset to go the gym after all the mean things Tracy said to her. Claire tells him she's not bothered and to go to the gym anyway and train with Nathan. If a punching bag happens to look like Tracy after all, so much the better.

At the gym, Tracy is winding up Nathan, telling him that he's afraid of Ashley. Nathan counters that he could take Ashley without breaking a sweat. I don't think this is boasting. It's probably true.

Ashley arrives and Nathan asks Tracy to leave, saying he's never brought girlfriends to training before and it was a bad idea to start now. Tracy is insulted and leaves, throwing a few Claire-related insults of her own on her way out.

After sparing a bit, Nathan says Ashley has found his "inner demon" today. Ashley says it's because of Tracy and he's none too please with Nathan for laughing along with her. Nathan says it was bit of banter that went too far, thanks to the drink.

Afterward, Ashley is giving Nathan the silent treatment until the subject of Claire and Tracy again comes up. Nathan says Claire is a bit innocent but that's part of her charm. Ashley takes offence as Nathan tries to make amends but it all comes out wrong. Then Ashley starts in on Tracy - bringing up selling her baby to the Croppers, breaking up Steve and Karen's marriage.

Words become more personal and Nathan becomes more and more infuriated until he whips around and punches Ashley in the face, knocking him to the floor. He runs downstairs to take a few more punches on a locker before bursting into tears.

Later, Nathan goes back upstairs to find Ashley still lying on the floor, unconscious. As he rouses him awake, Ashley feebly complains that his head hurts and worse, he can't see properly. Nathan quickly dials 999 on his mobile.

Claire and Fred arrive at the hospital where Nathan explains it was an accident, an unlucky punch. The doctor tells them that Ashley's retina in his left eye may have detached and haemorrhaged. There is a good chance that he may fully recover but there is also a chance that he may lose sight in that eye.

Nathan looks crushed as the realisation comes over him that he may have permanantly injured his friend.

Sarah and Jason Up A Tree, B-O-R-I-N-G Me

At the Rover's Violet is telling Sunita, Bev, and Shelley that Sean knew Jason and Sarah were having an affair but he said nothing. Some friend he turned out to be. Shelley says the more she thinks on it, the more she believes men and women cannot be friends.

Fred overhears and says men may be arrogant but they're not deaf.

Sean is sad because Violet won't speak to him. Shelley suggests re-ordering the roster so they don't have to work together (wow, talk about your flexible work schedule). Sean says no, it would be best if they work at the same time so she'll have to talk to him.

Meanwhile, Jason laments to Charlie that he doesn't regret what he did, just the way it happened. Sarah comes over and suggests they now go out on a proper date. Now that it's all out in the open, she can assume her position as Jason's girlfriend and possibly, assume a few other positions as well.

I'm Getting Married in the Morn--Oh Forget It

At Wong's Yana is boasting that she will soon be the local regiment's new mascot. New bike, more like. *ahem* Anyway, Fizz and Les and Chesney come in to tell her that there's been a last minute cancellation at the registry office and they can get married today. Cilla takes off with Yana in tow, claiming her place as Maid of Honour.

"After that holiday?" says Cilla, and reminds her that someone needs to mind the shop. They grab Kirk on the way out, saying this is his chance to be a best man.

They return an hour later as Mr and Mrs Battersby-Brown. Even Chesney gets the double-barrelled name which Les thinks should place him at Eton, not Weatherfield High. Chesney wonders if he should start calling Les 'Dad' but they both agree that Uncle Les will do for now.

Girlfight! Girlfight! Girlfight!

Kirk tells Molly he's upset about Fiz. Molly reminds him that Fiz is like his favourite cheeseburger: tasty now but she'll kill you in the end. She then takes Kirk into a hug and suggests they go out for a cheeseburger and wash it down in the Rover's afterward.

Later after the wedding party returned, Kirk tries to tell Fiz something but sees Molly and the words fail to come out as he leaves her.

In the Rover's Molly is flirting with Kirk. Maria asks what's going and Kirk reveals that he believes there may be a possibility that Molly fancies him. However, he does not share those feelings and in truth loves Fiz and everything about her, except for the bullying.

Fiz walks in and sees Molly attempting to canoodle with Kirk.

"Take your hands off him," she shouts. Molly asks what she's going to do: give her a Chinese burn or take her lunch money.

Fiz asks Kirk to listen to her. Molly says she forgot, it's Kirk she bullies now. Kirk tells Fiz he's tired of the bullying.

Molly starts needling Fiz that she doesn't like it when people stand up to her. Fiz agrees with this and requests that Molly sit down. She then punches Molly in the face, giving her a bloody nose.

Shelley tells Fiz to leave, but Molly and Kirk leave instead. Pity, I was hoping to hear Shelley say "Yer barred!"

Later, Kirk is helping Molly with her sore nose and is shocked at what Fiz did. Molly leans in for a kiss but Kirk becomes flustered and runs away.

Cat - the Other White Meat



Keith Appleyard has found a fresh fund raising scheme now that the pigs are gone. The new commodity is much cleaner and quieter, and are quite readily available.

No doubt Rosie and Craig will be suitably offended.

It is unsure, I say unsure how Fred Elliott will respond.

Don't Hate - Update

jerk

The House of Scorned Women Who Have Rocky Relations With Their Mums
It was like the Weatherfield version of ‘The View’ as Corrie opened last night to Violet, Sunita and Shel all sitting over a misery cuppa.

Violet talks about how stupid she feels about being deceived and the other join in with a round of ‘Been there done that and aren’t men bastards?’ (Fred walks in at this point, smells castration in the air and immediately walks out again.)

Jason in the meantime explains to Charlie why he drank all his whiskey. When Charlie hears the whole story and how Jason wants Violet back, he says that he doesn’t blame him because, ‘She’s a great kisser’.

Charlie, are you mad? I honestly thought Jason was going to pop him one at that point. But he didn’t and Charlie offered to help Jason win Violet back.

Meanwhile, Xavier Hollander Platt is in her rabbit jacket again all ready for the Jason chase. He tells Sarah that he loves Violet, but somehow he just can’t quite stop kissing the Platt.

Xavier later brags in the Rovers about this kiss and when Violet (full of grace) hears this, she just tells Sarah that it’s okay but that she really doesn’t think they have anything to say to each other and walks out of the pub – dignity in tact.

Violet goes over to collect her stuff from Eileen’s and has a good cry with them but gets a bit pissed when she finds out that both Eileen and Sean knew about the Platt affair and didn’t tell her. She could forgive Eileen because Jason is her son, but feels betrayed by Sean.

Back at the Rovers, Jason tries to win Violet back but she tells him to screw off not so much for the affair, but for the hypocrisy after she told him about her and Charlie.

Jason goes back to Eileen to collect HIS stuff and there is a nice Mother/Son moment where Eileen tells him that she doesn’t want to lose him and that she has loved him since the moment she knew she was pregnant. Jason respond with tears and says that all he wants is a cuddle.

Glacia remains unclear on how to respond to this schmaltz moment.

Molly Told Me You Were Going to Write This.
Molly convinces Kir-keh that the only path to true happiness is to permanently break off with Fizz as she is a controlling dominatrix.

Kir-keh finds Fizz at the Battersby’s and sits her down to break the news.

‘But Kir-keh, I love you!’ cries Fizz

‘Molly said that you’d say that.’

‘But Kir-keh I just want what’s best for us.’

‘Molly said that you’d say that’

‘But Kir-keh, Molly’s just getting back at me for bullying her in school.’

‘Molly said that you’d say that’


At this point Fizz starts throwing items at Kir-keh and ends up driving him into Molly’s waiting arms at the Rovers.

Maybe Michael Douglas Would Be Interested
Given her poor luck with the military in Spain, Cilla is convinced that it is the aroma of marriage is turning her into something less than the sexual goddess that she is. “I know I’m no Catherine Zeta Jones without me makeup, but when I doll myself up, I’m a right bobby dazzler.’

She is therefore leery about marrying Les for real, until Fizz tells her that if she has lost her sexual prowess, Les might be her last chance at some slap and tickle.

Please Baby Jesus, Make This Happen

Haley contemplates a new hair do.

This Claire Bear Has Claws
More forced time together with Claire brings out brings out Tracey’s ‘nasty’ side. When Nathan and Ashley decided to share a pint, she and Claire are face to face once again.

Small talk for Tracey means a hurl of abuses directed at our Claire-Bear and let’s not forget that she’s still pissed about the false alarm with Amy so she feels even more justified in making attacks.

She reminds Claire that Amy is her daughter, but that she wouldn’t know what that’s like seeing as she is childless. But wait, she continues, Ashley isn’t a parent either.* Tracey rants on about how thank god Joah isn’t related to either of them so he won’t inherit Ashley’s voice and Claire’s personality and oh my god, wasn’t Ashley’s first wife Maxine so much pretty, cooler, sexier, blah, blah than ‘dull as dishwater’ Claire.

When Nathan finally tells her to cool it, she says that she can’t help it because Claire bores the liver out of her. Nathan then replies, ‘I thought it was a kidney you were missing’**

Finally, Claire stands up and throws a glass of water at Tracey to reveal that Ms. Barlow is the ‘black bra, white top’ wearing kind of gal.

‘Classy’ says Claire as Ashley whisks her out of the Rovers.

Historical Notes:
*Joshua is the child of Ashley’s dead wife Maxine. Maxine had an affair with Matt Ramsden and was later killed by serial killer Richard Hillman (Gayle’s ex husband).

** Way back in 1995 a young Tracey Barlow did some drugs at a party and ended up damaging her kidney to the point where she needed a new one. Upon hearing this news, Deidre returned to Weatherfield from Morroco where she was living with her boy-toy hubby Samir Rachid.

Turns out that Samir was the perfect donor for Tracey and he was walking to the hospital to go under the knife when he was attacked by a gang of yobs who basically beat him into a brain dead coma. The doctors were able to get the kidney out before he died so that Tracey may live.

Deidre totally blamed Tracey for the death of her husband and refused to see her in the hospital. When Tracey realizes that she’s been abandoned by her mother she becomes more than a little pissed and can only be consoled by the likes of Percy Sugden.

If anyone of you have been watching the Classic Corrie, I think you can see the spawning of Evil Tracey.

Just fyi to you newbies to the show – Ken and Deidre had a track record of falling short of making Tracey feel welcomed in their lives. She got in the way of their Ken/Deidre/Mike/Denise/Samir dramas.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Why Bet Lynch is a Goddess



On the right, at Elsie Tanner's wedding.

All hail Bet - I bow before ye!

Tracey or Claire Bear?


Okay - question time!

Who would your rather be (or date - depending on your persuasion) Tracey or Claire.

I've weighed this one.

Claire has happiness and self esteem on her side - but Tracey doesn't have to dress like a moron.

As far as dating goes, Tracey will probably steal your car, but she will let you take up boxing if you want.

I think it's anyone's guess who is better in the sack.

Glacia thought hard about this. Tracey is a bitch to be sure, but I think I laugh to heartily at her insults about Claire. So ultimately, I'd rather be a miserable bitch than wear sensible shoes.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Update for Epiosde # 6169 August 14, 2006



Relationship Drama

The episode begins with a quaint family dinner at the Platt residence. Sarah decides to skip dinner, opting to go for a stroll to the nearest street corner in her newest outfit from 'Sluts R' Us'. Gail, being the perceptive mother that she is, gives her daughter a bit of stick about what she is doing and who she is doing it with.

In a rare moment of agreement David and Phil beat a hasty retreat before the fur really starts to fly.

Sarah says she's in love. Gail says it's only sex - and Sarah should be good at that since she's been doing it she was 13. Sarah says being in love with Jason makes the bad bits bearable. Gail says a bottle of vodka will do the same job. Gail asks about Violet. Sarah says Jason hasn't had the opportunity to break up with Violet yet. Gail calls him a soft pillock. All in all a glowing example of what mother/daughter relations should be.

Meanwhile across the street at the Grimshaw residence the fab four are deciding what to order in from the chinese take away. Sean seems to be interested in any dish that has the word 'balls' in it. After much deliberation they send Jason to get the food. He runs into Sarah on the street and does his best to avoid falling prey to her charms.

Before long Sarah decides to take matters into her own hands and is pounding on the Grimshaw's door. Much yelling and shouting ensues. Gail tries to keep Sarah from doing what she is trying to do but to no avail. The truth that Jason has been working so hard to hide and explains his strange behaviour is finally out in the open. Jason has been cheating and lying on top of being a hypocrite.

Violet and Jason have an intense discussion out back. She wants to know when he was getting a leg over with Sarah. He defends himself by saying it happened when they were broken up, so it wasn't really cheating. Violet confonts him with why he was so hard on her for a drunken snog with Charlie, and that maybe Jason was getting his revenge by sleeping with Sarah. He does his best to talk his way out of the mess he has made for himself but Violet is done with him.

Violet makes a dramatic departure from the house, with all and sundry looking quite distraught. Eileen calls him a stupid pillock for letting Violet go. Jason responds by saying he would be able to act like a proper bloke if his mother could ever get one to stick around. Eileen gives him a deserved slap. We last see Violet disappear down the street, with Jason shouting after her, and Sarah taking it all in from the window across the way.

More Relationship Drama

We see Dev in The Rovers looking like hell having a chat with Fred, who is doing his best to give advice without taking sides. He fills Dev in with some of the recent events with Sunita, and wisely advises him to let her have some space.

Meanwhile across the bar the Battersby-Browns are having a lovely night out with Yana and Fiz, recounting their honeymoon adventure in Spain. It seems their resort was next to an Air Force base (sounds like a peaceful locale) and Yana was doing her best to keep the spirits (or something) of the service men up. Fiz can't believe that Cilla was faithful the whole time they were away, but Yana assures her that she was. Not for a lack of trying though. It seems Cilla was throwing herself at the men in Esapana, but they weren't having anything to do with her. The 'stench' of being a married woman was hanging over Cilla and that kept the men away.

It seems that the two women had a wonderful time, what with the kebabs being Cordon Bleu and all. And remember all you Scrabblers, cucumber has a 'Q' in it - somewhere.

Bad Relations

The spat between Claire and Tracey continues to heat up. Deirdre is taking care of Amy when she runs into Claire on the street. Some pleasant small talk follows, Claire asks (with the best of intentions) what the doctors thought about Amy and her impending whooping cough. This is the first Deirdre has heard about it and naturally panics, rushing Amy off to the A&E. (accidents and emergency)

Tracey is worried sick until Deirdre gets home and explains what has happened. Tracey reacts in her usual gracious manner, and later in The Rovers bitches out Claire, who has come in for an innocent drink with LLoyd. When things settle down Claire make a sotto comment that in the old days they would have ducked Tracey in a pond - and she would have floated.

Quick History Lesson



First of all, John, put up all the classic corrie you can find. I LOVE them.

Second of all, the gent on the right in the photo is Len Fairclough - Rita's hubby.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

More Classic Corrie Clips



Two taps, even!

The first appearance of Stan and Hilda Ogden. They bought the place for 600?!



Ena may need to move out of the Mission and requires the use of her tennant Elsie Tanner's house. Elsie refuses. The ensuing discussion between Ena and Elsie becomes heated. Also featuring a young Emily Bishop and Ken Barlow.

You're On Notice!

Via the Stephen Colbert On Notice! Generator.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Update for Episode # 6168 August 11, 2006


Better call Oprah

Phil pops into have a visit at chez Platt and gets a right earful from Gail and the gang. Showing amazing flexibilty in her moral code, Gail somehow thinks it is alright to get Jason a little bit in trouble with the law, but sending him to prison would be a little over the top. A question of loyalties. It is alright to be deceitful as long as you are being loyal. (not loyal to your morals that is) Yes, I am as confused by it as you are.

David skulks off upstairs while the adults have a debate about teenage angst and all the trials and tribulations that David has been through. (if only Richard had done a better job with the whole car in the canal thing) It seems that the foot fiddler has seen his share of unpleasantness in his time as well. (no doubt any morning he wakes up next to Gail) However, it seems that David has had too hard a life, which somehow explains his asocial behaviour of late.

David finally gives a reason why he and young Scrimshaw were scrapping in the street, it seems Jason said some unkind things about Billy Platt dying and that is what set David off. (if that were true David would be fully justified in his actions)

In the end the evil son gets his revenge on Sarah and Jason. David manipulates his niece Bethany to tell her grandmother Gail that she 'doesn't want Jason for her daddy'. The secret is out it would seem.

Poor Violet however is still in the dark about the strange behaviour of her beau. Her and Eileen have a chat in Roys Rolls, trying to figure out what is going on with Jason. Vera of course has some helpful advice based on her lifetime of experience with Jack. (I think we need more Jack on the program)

Later on in The Rovers Sarah remains convinved that she and Jason are an item, in spite of the fact that he is canoodling with Violet at the other end of the bar while Sarah is sitting in plain sight. Hopefully one of the two women will come to their senses soon - without Violet getting hurt in the process. (she's dreamy)

Maybe Oprah can come for a visit

Deirdre stops in for a visit with Sunita with some gifts for the babies. (I thought you were supposed to wait for the babies to be born first before doing that) Deirdre flaps on for awhile about how lovely the wedding was and how the love was shining out of Sunita's face and how she should think about things. Sunita screams at her to get out - understandably so.

Later Sunita is feeling unwell so Shel and Bev take her to the hospital to make sure everything is alright. While in the waiting room the mother and daughter have a grim little chat about life and death and love and the like.

It turns out that everything is good with the twins, Sunita heard their heartbeats and it was like a wave of peace washing over her. Hurrah for Sunita, she deserves a little happiness.

On the other hand, Dev deserves a little unhappiness. This fortuitously is provided in the form of Sunita's brother, Jayesh. He has come looking for his sister, to bring her back to their family so they can take care of her. Dev refuses to tell him where she is. The brothers-in-law have an argument about who has caused Sunita more grief or is able to bring her more happiness. Jayesh finally gives Dev a good smack and threatens to kill him if he doesn't leave Sunita alone

The ongoing spat between Tracey and Claire continues apace. After getting a ride home from shopping, Tracey refuses to pay Claire, since she has a special dispensation as the mother of the child of the owner of the cab firm. Claire expresses some concern over the coughing of young Amy. (who apparently is smoking a pack of fags a day, from the sounds of it) Tracey, exhibiting her finest bitchy qualities, tell Claire to get stuffed, calling her 'Florence flaming Nightingale'. Poor Claire, she just cares too much.

It seem Oprah was on holiday in Spain

Early on in the episode, in the background of a scene, we see Les stealing some flowers from the front of the shop. It turns out that Cilla is due back from her honeymoon in Spain and he wants everything to be perfect when she returns home.

Cilla makes an appearance in due course, and is in the best of spirits. She has expensive gifts for everyone, that are still unopened, with receipts as well. Fiz is suspicious of this unusual behaviour but Les and Chesney are over the moon. Cilla promises to make Les the happiest man alive - behind closed doors though. Where did Cilla get the money for the expensive swag? Why is she in such a good mood? No doubt there is a good story waiting to be told.

Update - August 10, 2006

"You Suck. No, You Suck."

It's a glorious breakfast at Casa del Platt after another sexy evening of Gail climbing all over Dr. Phil. David grumbles about the arrangements until he brings up the topic of Jason with Sarah. Gail wants to know what they're arguing about but he keeps quiet.

Later that evening, David confronts Jason on the street and implies a desire for more hush money for which to buy more cheap n' nasty cider. He tells Jason if he won't pay, then to stay away from Sarah.

"Stay away from our Sarah," He says. "You're no good for her. None of you bloody Grimshaws are."

(note - isn't there some law about use of certain curse words on TV in the UK, like 'bloody'?)

David suddenly lunges towards a confused Jason, vowing an intent to kill him. Jason tries to fend him off as David falls to the ground. Dr. Phil watches the whole thing and, as Sarah arrives, helps David to his feet.

As Sarah leaves with David, Phil and Charlie ask what happened but Jason isn't telling.

At the Platt's, Gail asks what happen and David claims Jason started it. Gail calls the police, claiming the Grimshaws have hurt her family enough.

At the Rover's Charlie is still trying to find out what happened. Jason won't say in front of Violet as Eileen comes in demanding to know what happened. They leave to discuss the matter at home.

At the Grimshaw's, Eileen figures that this fight has something to do with Sarah but before Jason can discuss the matter, Violet comes in and Jason clams up.

The police arrive (actually, it's the same constable from the episode when Bev called the cops on Charlie) to investigate an assault complaint. Jason explains what happened - that he did not start the fight and only tried to hold David off. The policewoman says that his story differs from the person who made the compaint.

Speak of the devil, E.T. shows up and says she only wants that rotten son of Eileen's to get what's coming to him. The discussion becomes heated when Phil arrives and confirms Jason's side of the story.

The policewoman asks if Gail wishes to further pursue her complaint. She does not. Constable Cutie asks Jason if he wishes to press a charge but he says he only wishes to eat his tea in peace.
Well, that's sorted. Except for E.T. who's pissed at Phil for undermining her constant attempts to bring down the Grimshaws.

Hand in Glove

Fizz feels Kirk is slipping away, thanks to Molly, and starts going out of her way to be nice to him. She runs over to his place with a nice new shirt, all cleaned and ironed for him. She points out how old and dirty his shirt is and he could do with a new one. Kirk interprets this as her treating him like a kid and runs upstairs.

On the street, Tyrone asks Kirk what's going on between him and Fizz. He says she's always bossing him about and thinks there's something going on between him and Molly, which there isn't, he adds. He just wants things to be as they were before Fizz started 'pushing it.'

In Roy's café, Fizz and Kirk make up. Fizz says from now on they'll do whatever Kirk wants to do. But Kirk doesn't actually have any ideas as to what to do.

At Diggory's Bakery, he tells Molly as is well between Fizz and him again. Molly warns him that she's using the oldest trick in the book and she's playing him like Miss Piggy with her hand firmly up his ... glove. Molly takes Kirk to the Rover's where he demands that Fizz give him 'space.' Fizz looks crestfallen as Kirk takes his drink with Molly.

When Life Gets You Down, You Can Always Lay Down Your Burdens With That Chick You Banged that one Christmas, And The Mother You Banged the Year Before.

Norris comes into the shop to discuss Dev's maritial status buy some milk. Norris tries to commersirate with Dev, having gone through a divorce himself. Dev isn't interested in chatting with Norris. Not much happens here except for the fact that two bottles of milk cost 64p at Dev's. That can't be right.

Deirdre later comes in to see if Dev is alright when Tracy, the other woman he slept with, comes to rub his face in his misery. Deidre apologies for Tracy and gives Dev a hug. Both women leave the shop pregnant.

Meat is Murder But Also a Source of Income

Norris is disturbed to discover that Emily has cancelled their Christmas order of pork from Keith. Norris wants to know if they intend to go vegan this year. Emily says of course not but having gotten to know the pigs, she felt bad about eating them.

Sally overhears this and tells them she's sorry Rosie has been pestering them. Emily says not at all, she's glad to see a teenager with real convictions these days.

Later Sally gives the teens proper vegan beans on toast and praises them for being so socially conscious. Rosie requests that her mother stop being so tolerant as it's oppressive. Parenting Lesson #43: Wanna get your kids to stop doing something? Approve of it.

As it turns out, all the people who order pork from Keith cancelled it, thanks to Azrael Abyss and Circe Nightshade. They discover that Keith sold the pigs to Fred Elliot for a low price, who has likely already butchered them. He told them he was going to use the money from the meat sales to buy Christmas presents. Craig suddenly feels bad, not having realised that his actions can have consequences.

What did you think of the episode? Who knew milk was so cheap in corner shops?

FIZZY POP

Thanks to Pauline who gave us the heads up that this years Corrie guest at the British Isle Show is.............



Jenny McApline - our Fizz.

Confirmation can be found here.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

All Hail Deborah!

This is why she is queen!

She found this for us:

Coronation Street Brunch at The Crooked Star Pub on Ossington and Dundas every Sunday at 12:00.

I might even be there this week.

Anyone Know?

Corrie Canuck Terri asks:

Hello!

Does anyone know of a pub in the Toronto area, which broadcasts Corrie on a Sunday morning and serves breakfast?

Many years ago, someone told me of such a place ( I believe it was downtown Toronto) and I would love to know if this event was still happening.

Any feedback would be appreciated! Just think… Corrie on the big screen, and a waitress taking breakfast orders – how lovely!

Cheery thanks,

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Update - August 9, 2006

Glasgow

Hey I finally get to use a photo I actually took myself.

*UPDATE* The missus claims she took the photo. I'm pretty sure the camera was in my hand at the time, which is why I added that photo to my Flickr set. Now I'm not so sure. I was drunk most of that trip.

Gotcha!


We open with a still half-naked Jason and Sarah-Lou being caught by David. Jason thinks of a cunning plan:

'Well, Miss, your shelves are just about done...'

Jason says he and Sarah are just mates. Sarah takes offense, saying, 'We are SO not!' Jason warns David to keep his pie-hole shut.

Sarah says if David does tell Violet, then Jason wouldn't have to tell her they're through. Jason requests that Sarah-Lou stop being a cow. She says they're fated to be together. Jason worries about the fate that will befall them should their mothers discover their illicit liason. He tells Sarah that he still cares about Violet and goes off to work.

Later, Jason comes to Sarah after receiving an urgent text. The urgency is her need of Jason's, well, urgency as she reveals a new black Victorian bodice. They says it's this season's must have. Jason thinks Sarah is this season's must have as they urgently rush inside for an urgent rogering.

Later on the street, David is still threatening to tell Violet. Jason agrees to pay him 20 quid to stay quiet, calling it blackmail. David is mock offended: "How very dare you!"

Tragic, I say, it's Tragic

Sunita is in the backroom at the Rovers where she tells Shelley that Dev thinks if he keeps talking at her long enough, she'll come 'round. She says to tell him tell it, you'd think he was the injured party.

Bev offers that Sunita may want to look at things a different way. She's not taking his side but she is married to him, unlike his other baby mommas, and therefore she has status. Besides, when she's doing all the early morning feedings, she may want someone around, even if it's a low-life like Dev.

In the shop, said low-life shows Fred Sunita's divorce letter. Dev seems resigned to things and said he'll at least try to make things as painless as possible.

Later that evening, David comes in to attempt to buy some lager (presumably with the twenty quid Jason gave him). Dev refuses even as he says it's a surprise for Dr. Phil. Jack Duckworth walks in and offers to buy them for him until Dev points out the 'No Buying Booze for Surly 14 Year Olds' rule. David says Dev's just upset because he's "up the hump" with Sunita. Jack says he's sorry to hear he and Sunita have finished.

Later in the Rover's Fred tells Sunita Dev has accepted her demand for a divorce. He says it's tragic. Sunita agrees but says it's only way forward for her and her twins.

Coming soon to the Food Network

Roy shows Vera his now laminated newspaper article. Vera says Jack was in the paper once - for drink driving (yeah, him and half the cast, luv). Also their son Terry was in the paper when he did a runner from the courts. It was on pages 3,4, and 5.

At Underworld, Hayley is reading the article to everyone at work. They say she could become a celebrity like Jamie Oliver's wife.

Later at Roy's Hayley tells him he's the toast of Manchester but Roy seems to be doubtful of the good this attention will bring:

'Kipling said that you should treat both triumph and disaster as impostors'

Hayley says they should leave Kipling to his exceedingly good cakes and crack open the Pommagne from the church raffle.

You Know What I Admire About PETA? Their Subtlety.

At Roy's, Keith is still angry with Craig for his PETA stunt yesterday. He tells him it's the food chain - they eat grass and we eat them. Roy arrives with two lasagne dinners. Craig reminds Keith that he is now a veggie. Keith takes Craig's helping of lasagne and tells him the potatoes and vegetables are more than enough for him to stay anemic looking.

Rosie comes in and Keith leaves them to sit around looking dark and interesting. Rosie says they need to change tactics and get more in people's faces about where meat comes from.

To do this, they take Porky out for a walk and to Tyrone's door (?) . Tyrone tells them he was just eating Porky's cousin. Rosie and Craig start reeling off the facts of food production, with added dramatic licence, and Tyrone suddenly feels terrible.

The missus also pointed out how convenient it was that Rosie and Craig had the pig in a studded leather harness. It matched their Goth-wear exceedingly well.

Fizz and Kirk

Molly's plan to get Kirk away from Fizz is working pretty well. Kirk now demands that Fizz treat him better. In the Rover's, Fizz complains to Maria and Tyrone that he was once all cuddly and useless, but now Molly's spoiled it. Memo to Fizz - if you think of your boyfriend as useless, he's gonna to get the message sooner or later, even Kirk.

Did anyone get the reference when Molly called Fiz, 'Fiona'? Is that Fiz's real name? (update - I guess it is)

Also revealed this episode: The shocking revelation that left-wing Ken Barlow reads The Guardian. Hayley held it up and said that Ken left it in the café. She also made a little joke when she held up what looked like The Independent (left-wing and intellectual, like the Guardian) and said it must be Les and Cilla's, who are obviously Sun readers.

Corrie Housekeeping



Okay 1,2,3 things.

Last of the Summer Pingfest
I'll send out an evite later but want to see if Aug 29th works for peeps for the Corrie Canuck Toronto Pub Night.

Events include another round of 'Win Corrie Crap That Jacqueline Wins on Ebay'.

Drop a note here if Aug 29 is a yea or nay.

Word Verification
Everyone seems to hate it.

I put it up because we were getting spam on our comments, but we can try again without the word verifiation.

Shall I? Yea or nay?

On Air Magazine
Zelda from Huntsville writes:

=I just learned that On The Air Magazine has been sold and that
there will not be a August/September issue. I have a subscription for this
and thought I would share this with you as there maybe other readers that
have a subscription too.

http://www.ontheairmagazine.com/