Monday, July 31, 2006

Update for Episode # 6159 July 31, 2006

The Bad Son

David tries to ring Martin in Liverpool but only gets the answering machine. He leaps to the logical conclusion, that Martin is screening his calls so he won't have to talk to David. In a pathetic touching sort of moment David confesses that it would be nice to meet with Martin, even for half an hour somewhere along the motorway between Manchester and Scousertown.

In an effort to cheer David up Gail promises to take him shopping in the city so he can get the football strip he's been wanting for a while. Well, this is alright, but what he really wants is a new skateboard. Oh the gratitude. To make it more of a family outing thay decide to bring Bethany along, leaving Sarah on her own for a few hours. Whatever will she do?

The Bad Mother

Sarah goes by the builders yard to talk to Jason about getting some shelves put in for her daughter's toys. Jason doesn't seem too happy to see the young femme fatale, accusing her of stalking him, what with all the visits, text messages, and waking up in bed with her after doing the horizontal limbo one drunken night. Oh wait, that was his idea.

Sarah invites him to 'come around for a quote' later. (is this some sort of code?) Strapping young builder boy shows up with his tape measure in hand, to be greeted by a saucy sultry Sarah slinking about in a red silk kimono. He does a bit of work, she does a bit of flirting, he does a bit of measuring, she gazes deeply into his eyes. Finally, they have a bit of a snog under the stairs before brave young builder boy flees out the door promising to drop a quote through the door sometime soon.

The Good Mother

Frankie is upset with Jamie because he is taking the day off work to meet with Carol, who has something important to tell him. Frankie is worried that Jamie might lose his new job by taking a day off. (as if Penny would fire him) Carol texts her son, telling him to meet her at The Rovers when her bus has arrived. Frankie asumes that Carol already has a few bottles in her, but it turns out that Carol has given up the bottle, and has been without a drink for 9 days. (she did look a lot better)

It seems Carol found herslf passed out in a gutter one day, and when she woke up, she saw there was a pub a few feet away and her first thought was 'I wonder if it was open.' (sounds like one of the road trips with my rugby team) It seems at this point in the story Carol managed to fall under a bus of some type, but owing to it's realtive small size, she wasn't killed and only required five days of hospitalization. Since the NHS doesn't include merlot on it's hospital menus, Carol went without a drink for the first time in a while and realized she could survive without alcohol.

Jamie is of course excited by this news, and asks mommy dearest if she is getting any couselling or going to any meetings for support. Carol, not a fan of sharing her secrets with others, has formulated her own 12 step program. (trust me, it doesn't work) No doubt, she will soon be off the wagon again. Or on the wagon, whatever the bad one is.

Jamie and Carol go back to the house to discover Frankie looking fantastic as always, oh sorry, having a glass of wine at home alone in the middle of the day. Of course this means she is an alcoholic, and Carol offers to help her out in her time of need. Frankie, needless to say is none too impressed.

The Bad Father

Dev and Amber are having a spirited debate about what the whiny teenager should be have for breakfast. She wants pancakes, thin like Sunita made for her the other day. Dev says 'let them eat cake.' Or toast maybe. Amber wants smooth peanut butter, Dev says crunchy will do just fine. All in all not a good foretaste of what the twins have in store from daddy dearest.

Sunita comes out of her room holding the TV remote, which Dev says was lost but had actually been hidden by him in her drawers somewhere. It seems Dev didn't want Amber's sticky fingers messing up the remote, like she did the hi-fi. Sunita reminds him he will have to learn how to share when the twins are born.

We then see Sunita in the kitchen peering intently at a old picture of Dev (with his porn star moustache) and the woman who I assume to be Amber's mother. Sunita takes the photo down, and stares at it, deep in thought. Signifigance?

The Good Chefs

One of the patrons at Roy's Rolls is waxing rhapsodic about how wonderful the food is. It turns he has been searching for the best english breakfast in all Lancashire, and he has at long last found it. It turns out he is the award winning chef at some snooty french restaraunt 'Quelle Surprise of Chorley', and is reknowned as the enfant terrible of the northwest. (I thought that was Wayne Rooney) Roy and the wonder chef go on at length about the best way to cook beans and fry bread an the like. (I assume he is a real chef but I only recognize Jamie Oliver and Gordon Ramey) Perhaps fortune will shine on Roy soon.

(I too have searched far and wide in my travels in the UK for the best english breakfast. Oddly enough, I found it at the bed & breakfast in Portugal Cove, Newfoundland, if any one is interested.)

The Good Girlfriend

Violet asks Shel for advice about boyfriends, curious if she had ever had a good experience with taking a boy back after they had broken up. Shel blathers on about a boy she knew at age 11 and is of no help. Violet senses that Jason is distant these days, but can't explain why. Of course this is about the time he is under the stairs with Sarah sharing a moment of passion. Female intuition?

Possible TV Crossover





From Lisa:

Coz there's just not enough killin' on Corrie. Anyone up for making a top 3 list of who should be murdered on the street? Here's mine:
1. Tracey for being the bitch that she is & for reproducing
2. Gail, just because she's Gail
3. Norrice in a hail of gunfire as the truth comes out about his undercover life as an MI5 spy on Corrie.

What are you three? I'll wait until everyone rings in and I'll post your answers.

Glacia's pick would be (Gail being a natural given):

1) Sean. (No, of course not, I'm just goofing on you.) But Sally's got to go.
2) Leanne, just cause I don't like the cut of her gib.
3) McCrazy Jr, so I never have see those teeth again.

If Cilla Knit


This is what she might make herself, if she had a case of lice, like Janice.

Late Update - Last Friday's Episode

Sorry kids, I was pre-occupied this weekend helping George Snuffleupagus drown his sorrows over the failure of 'The One'.

sbuff

Glacia Writhers In Pain On The Floor...
.. as Scruffy the Scotsman descends Gail's stairs looking like he hasn't had a bath in weeks.

They blow kisses to each other and he does some truly creepy pantomime about calling her later.

Our Gail's in love.

puke.

She worries about what the kids will think, but Audrey puts her mind at ease over Gail's own upbringing with Audrey's wild ways. Gail brings up 'Uncle Trevor' which kind of makes Audrey choke on her tea.

Telephone, Telegraph, Tell-a-Janice
"Danny" and "Adam" continue to snark at each other and "Danny" takes exception to "Adam's" use of air quotations when "Adam" has an idea to drum up "business". Danny says that they've got an ad in "Gussets Stitches Weekly" and that should be "enough".

Adam, stomps out of the meeting and immediately tells Janice about the 'Who's Your Daddy' gossip between Danny and Mike and follows with, 'but please don't' tell anyone, I really shouldn't have said anything, but I know I can trust you.'

So after Janice tells the entire factory and taunts Danny with the knowledge...Danny takes a running swing at Adam and but is blocked by Sean who dashes to Adam's defense like Spiderman on speed. (Seems our Sean can hold his own in a brawl.)

Oh God, I've Had Dates Like This
Jo and Jamie go on their big date at the pizza place. Poor Jo dressed inappropriately by wearing a very sexy but warm leather jacket as a shirt. She spends the entire date fanning herself to keep cool while Jamie makes snarky comments. (Hands up ladies, who's done this trick? It looked fab, but it's so uncomfortable that you look like an idiot? Items include, new shoes, waistband a little to too tight, dress strap that keeps falling over...)

She tries to make conversation, but the Baldwin charm overcomes him and when she compliments his new hair he says something like, 'Yeah, my life is shit but thank god I've got good hair.' (Glacia says to the t.v. 'Steady on, my friend, she's trying to be nice.')

In the end he apologizes and tells her that he does fancy her, but it's probably too soon for him to date. He ends up kissing her (which Leanne sees) then goes home to cry.

I want more Twin storylines. I'm starting to really like these girls. I'd especially like to see one really good date for Jo? Seriously, she's breaking my heart.

Vicky Pollard 101
Amber and Dev are working in the store together when she complains that the chair she's sitting on stinks and against Dev's wishes takes it out of the store. She then comes back and says, 'Oh My God, it's not the chair, it's you who stinks.'

Child does get that he pays her mom's wages, right?

More Platty Goodness
Sarah is starting to freak me out. She continues to pursue Jason with that psycho craze look in her face.

Glacia shudders.

It's Too Late Baby.
Lister's other girlfriend Tina shows up at Streetcars already to move in with him as she has left her husband.

Lister tells her that he's not interested in her and at that moment a lightbulb goes off in his head and he rushes to the Rovers to tell Kelly that she's the one he wants.

Kelly tells him to smeg off.

In Other News
Did anyone else see the Samid dies episode on Classic Corrie? Best Deidre performance - ever.

I got a delivery from Ebay - a Corrie give away for the next Toronto Pub night.

Found some Corrie books this weekend, I'll try to do some Corrie trivia later.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Would You Rather?



Our Shelley knows which one she'd rather.

Updatey-date

You Call That a Send Off?
Okay, so he creeps me out a bit and he's not my favorite character and I don't think I'll miss him that much....but still....what kind of lame ass send off was that for our Martin after 20 years on the show?

No end of the show, walking down the street and looking wistfully up whilst thinking about how you're sad to go and miss everyone, but still, you're glad to start anew. No big goodbyes at the Rovers.

Martin's exit was half way through the show and was nothing but a few hugs and handshakes from the Platts, Sally and Kevin. The only thing remotely touching was David coming out to say to goodbye after earlier having a hissy fit when Martin tries to talk to him about the move. He says to Robyn, 'Take care of me dad.' aaaaaaw.

I don't what was going on with the producers and Sean Wilson, but I think the viewers deserved a little more than that for Martin. (Especially since his departure is a day after Candice's - which kind of lessens it on the whole.) Even Cieran got a better send off.

So having said that...here's the Corrie Canuck tribute to Mr. Platt.







Here's the Mirror's interview with Sean Wilson regarding his time as Martin and being written off the show.

Finally, Corrie Net's profile on our Martin.

It's Bad When Tracey Comes Off as the Sane One.
That's it, I officially hate Moley.

After Steve came around to save her ass (even if it was Lloyd who got the job done in the end) from Crazy and Crazy Jr. Moley sees fit to give him the cold shoulder, snipe at him and generally be a bitch. She eventually 'opens' up to him and tells him how scared she is, etc., etc. Ugh, why is Steve attracted to all of this?

Tracey meanwhile comes into the pub and tells Steve that Moley is not allowed anywhere near Amy due to the fact that people get shot at around her. (And I got to kind of agree with her.) She stresses that Steve really doesn't know anything about Moley and what she has seen of her is trouble. (Again, got to agree with Tracey.) Finally, she threatens tell the courts about Crazy McCrazy if Amy is exposed to Moley again (And I'm still agreeing).

Crash Tests Daddy
Ravinder, one of the ladies who works for Dev has to go to the hospital to have an emergency appendectomy and asks Sunita if she and Dev can take care of her daughter, Amber until Ravinder's mom arrives from...wait for it....Canada.

Sunita agrees to this arrangement and when Dev comes home he is the proud temporary father to a teenager, in all her teenage glory - complete with earphones and attitude.

Okay, This is Just Embarrasing Now
Leanne is just making a fool out of herself at this point. She starts talking to Jamie while he's in the pub playing pinball and he he responds by first ignoring her and then by asking if she's crazy. Glacia has to hug her pillow for she feels pain in watching this.

Finally Jamie leaves and sits with the twins and Kelly to get away from Leanne and ends up asking out one of the twins. Hang on, which one was it? It's so hard to tell them apart. Ummm, lets' see. Oh I know, the SKINNY one.

Leanne is none too happy about this and runs out of the Rovers in tears.


But good for Jamie, he's got a sexy new haircut and he's jumping right back into life.

Ew, Eeeeew Make It Stop!
Gayle realizes that her life is going nowhere and asks Phil to go out with her to that pizza place everyone goes to. (What's the name of that place, btw? Luigi's?).

They talk and then things take a nauseating turn as they start teasing each other like teens in love and then finally then go in for the kiss which is all open mouth and chinless and 5 o'clock shadow 'n shit. And Glacia needs a drink - big time.

Phil walks her home and she invites him in for a coffee to which he replies that it'll keep him up all night. She responds, 'Then have it in the morning'. Which would be a super cool line, if it weren't from Gayle.

In Other News
Llyod is trying to win back Kelly and she tells him only if he breaks it off with the other woman.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Glacia cries...a lot

Serious spoiler on a plan for next Christmas on Corrie... click here to find out what makes me sad.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Update for Episode # 6156 July 26, 2006

The MacDonalds and the Claytons

The show opens with Steve manfully cowering on the floor of his car while Jimmy does some auto body work on Steve's car with a shotgun. (If you're going to get killed at least go out with a little dignity) Steve, Ronny, Jimmy, and son Nick have a spirited debate about the nature of love and how this affects all of their respective relationships. Ronny, showing more cojones than lover boy MacDonald, decides to go home with Jimmy for the health and safety of all.

In a brief aside, Nick Clayton has to have the ugliest face ever shown on a televion screen. My cat, who is usually above these sort of superficial judgements, promptly coughed up a particularily nasty hairball when Nick's face was shown on the TV tonight. Back to the story...

Lloyd, in a rush to find a loo, er sorry, to rescue his co-workers, drives like a man possessed to get to the scene of the crime, in spite of Eileen nagging him over the radio to wait for the police to come. Lloyd arrives in the 'nick' of time and manages to sideswipe Jimmy without doing him too much bodily harm, then does a magnificent U-turn, picks up Steve, Ronny and the shotgun, and then beats a hasty retreat, with the Clayton boys in hot pursuit. Steve, fresh from his hunter safety course proceeds to point the shotgun at everyone around him except Jimmy and Nick. In spite of having the pedal to the metal the Streetcars cab is no match for the big bad german schnellwagen and they are soon trading paint in a thrilling car chase down a county road. (I kept expecting Maya to show up in a red convertible to join in the fracas) Thankfully the police finally show up and the chase ends with the cars in various places off the side of the road.

The three musketeers retire to The Rovers for a large brandy to settle their nerves. Ronny declines, deciding she wants to go home and 'change her clothes.' This seems to be some sort of code for wanting to sweat up the sheets so Steve slinks off to join her, leaving Lloyd to down the three brandies on his own.

Message in a Bottle - or two

Gail gets a call on her mobile, informing her that son David has been found in a field at school as drunk as an Irishman. (apologies to the Irish) It seems that David is having some difficulty adjusting to the newest change in his life and is trying to find some meaning in a bottle or two of Thunderbolt. Gail and David are soon found in the headmaster's office. (the headmaster seems to have attended the SS School of headmastering in Nurenburg) Gail explains all that her poor son has been through and how it will never happen again, but to no avail. It seems that the headmaster has decided to make an example of Mister Platt - pour encouager les autres. This way all the other miscreants at Weatherfield High will indeed learn a lesson. Ah, it reminds me of my high school days, four sheets to the wind...

Later David arrives home in a cab (with a paper full of puke for Martin) for some serious discussions about what has happened and why David gone loaded on Thunderbolt, when he should be getting soused on some fine English ale like a proper yobbo. (see www.thunderboltbeer.com) When Craig is asked why he isn't a bit tipsy he replies that he is more of a bourbon man, which is of course what all the goths prefer.

The Departure of Candice

Candice continues to work her poor finger to the bone at the salon, her chance at stardom as hairdresser for Status Quo apparently having passed her by. Then, a fax appears (seemingly a first for the salon) telling Candice that she will be picked up @ 3:00 by someone from the band, in a carriage made of glass, or some other form of conveyance. Showing remarkable organizational skills and mental acumen for the first in her life Candice manages to get all her personal affairs in order in about 20 minutes. She then waits outside the salon (a bit tacky on her part) for her Prince Charming to show up and take her away from her life of drudgery and to a much better place. Or Holland, whichever comes first.

The clock continues to tick and Candice is still waiting for her ride. It might be that the fax is some sort of a cruel joke that has been played on Candice. (they never say by who though) Audrey, the kind soul that she is comes out to commiserate with Candice. The two of them share what their dreams and anbitions are and realize that things are really quite fine in Weathefield and it isn't all that bad at the salon after all. Much hugging and crying ensues, the issue of Candice leaving seems to be resolved.

That is until a tow truck pulls up, with the manager of the band in the front and his car attached to the back. It sems a mechanical problem has delayed him from his appointed destiny with fate, or Candice. More tears are shed, good-byes are said, Adam is broken up with by card, and Candice gets in the back of the car and disappears from Coronation Street - maybe forever.

Kirk and Fiz go to the dogs

Kirk and Fiz have a bit of a scrap in The Rovers about whether or not Molly should get the sack at the kennel. Kirk says that she should stay - the dogs love her, the cats love and...Kirk likes her graft. (some sort of code perhaps?) Much is said that was unintelligible and obscurely slangy so I'm not sure what happened exactly here. It seems Molly is staying though.

Classic Corrie Alert


If anyone wants to see the last episode with Samir, I'm pretty sure it'll be aired tommorow on Country Canada (4pm, 8pm and 12:30 am)

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Update July 25, 2006 - Fer God's Sake Bring Back De Oirish Girl



Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Steve, Lister and Eileen have a discussion about Moley and the fires of hell she has brought upon Streetcars. Imagine their surprise when they find out that the new client she scored for them is actually a client of her psycho husband.

Lister and Eileen wonder why Steve keeps this lady around when she baits her husband and brings nothing but grief to the business. Ronnie, upon hearing this gets mad and stomps off. (I got to tell you, I'm kind of asking myself, "If you just left your crazy insane husband who runs a cab business, why on god's green earth would you go get a job at a nearby competing business and then schtump the owner?" I'm thinking Moley's more grief than she's worth.)

In the meantime it has been decided that Claire and Moley are not to drive the cabs until Crazy McCrazy hubby has settled down.

But you can't tame Moley's spirit and the minute she hears that Charlie Fellows (the stolen client) needs a cab and requests that Moley be the driver, she insists on picking him up. (At this point, Glacia thought maybe they're lovers and that she's using Steve as a beard to get Crazy McCrazy attention elsewhere...but alas no.)

A short time later, a woman comes into the streetcars office to warn them that Moley is in danger. She's Nick's (Moley's stepson) girlfriend and she's worried that Nick is getting himself into trouble. She tells Eileen and Claire that the Charlie Fellows call was set up.

They desperately try to get Moley on the radio, but she is out of the cab walking around Charlie's house looking for him, whilst Crazy McCrazy is stalking her with a rifle. Nick ends up grabbing her, while Crazy starts shooting holes in her tires.

The girls get a hold of Steve and he rushes to save her, only to be greeted with bullets in his tires and Crazy McCrazy saying in his evil voice, 'Ah, two for the price of one.'

At this point Mr. Glacia utters a worrisome giggle.

So, to sum up.... Bring BACK the Oirish Girl!

Fizzy Pops
Molly is coming on strong to our Kirk-eh and Fizz finally tells him that he is being persuade by the other woman. Kirk-eh is offended by this saying that Fizz should trust him and that Molly is just a co-worker/mate.

Molly, meanwhile, sews the seeds of suspicion in Kirk-eh's mind by telling him about overly possessive girlfriends who won't let their men keep girls as friends. She tells him to be careful of Fizz because she's seeing all the signs there and wouldn't be surprised if Fizz asked Kirk-eh to fire her.

BTW- weren't Kirk-eh and Fizz getting married? Is that still on? What happened?

Oh Daffyd!as
After a morning breakfast at Martin's house, Robyn mentions that she thinks that Martin w being overindulgent with David the night before. (Strange that she didn't also mention that the entire kitchen scene gave her a glimpse into what kind of dysfunctional craziness she might be getting into with this family.)

Martin replies that David has been through enough what with the parents divorcing, his stepdad trying to kill him, Gale as a mother.... Robyn replies that this is no excuse because lots of kids go through divorce and in addition, David is becoming a man and should be able to deal with reality.

In the end Martin talks with David and explains the facts of life to him and then adds, 'You're the only son I'll ever have.' What? What happens if Robyn bears another heir for Mr.Platt?

In Other News
The Duckworths warn Candice about the evils of musicians, under the assumption that she was sexually harassed by Status Quo. And reminisce about their lives and musicians and groupies - back in the day.

Sarah lets Jason know that she is free and single - all with a kind of crazed look in her eyes.

Leanne seems to be here to stay. She tries once again to talk to Jamie, who gives her the cold shoulder.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Update - July 24th - Remember, remember the fifth of November

Remember remember the fifth of November
Gunpowder, treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder, treason
Should ever be forgot...


It's Guy Fawkes night on Coronation Street and that means bonfires. Unlike Canada, with our Canada Day, and the USA, with their 4th 0f July, or the French with their Bastille Day, Britain has no real national holiday. Instead they take a historical character convicted of trying to blow up Parliament 400 years ago and burn him in effigy. Because he was Roman Catholic disloyal.

So Long and Thanks for All The Fish

In any case, we open at the Platts where Gail is telling Sarah-Lou that something needs to be done about Scooter. Sarah says she will talk to him. Later, Scooter returns with a present for Sarah-Lou: a mounted halibut. He thinks she'd love it. Sarah tells him she hates it and hates every having to do with fish. Scooter doesn't think he can be with someone who doesn't like fish.

Later Gail and Bethany come home to find Scooter ready to walk out with his bags packed. He tells Gail it was nice knowing her and tells Bethany to take care of the fish. He hugs her goodbye and walks out.

Bye Scooter, I'm sorry the writers didn't make you more interesting.

L - I - V! E - R - P! DOUBLE O - L! LIVERPOOL FC!*

(*sung to the tune of 'Jesus Christ, Superstar')

David and Martin are discussing the evening's bonfire as they enter the Platt house. Gail gives Martin a look that suggests he hasn't yet told David that he's moving to Liverpool with Robyn. Gail later tells Martin he'd better tell David soon.

As David builds a bonfire, Martin finally locates his testes and tells David of his plan to move to Liverpool with Robyn. But, he adds, there's a spare bedroom if David wants to visit. David asks if he means permanantly but Martin says they'll talk about it.

Later, as the bonfire is in full swing, the fireworks are going off, and everyone's a bit loaded, Martin tells Craig that even though he's moving to Liverpool, he'll never forget Katy. Craig tells him that what he did will stay with them for the rest of their lives. Robyn meanwhile tries to make small talk with David but to no avail.

Gail tries to have a talk with David but he tells her that he hates her and that Martin said he could move to Liverpool with him. Martin denies this when Gail confronts him but he counters that he was trying to spare David's feelings. They get into a big screaming match and Martin says some mean things to Gail as Robyn stands there looking mortified. There's your signal, Robyn: run!

Like a Fox, With the Runs

Lister is in the taxi office, still recovering from the pain inflicted on his bowels by Kelly's laxative trick. Kelly comes by with a box of chocolates, which Lister rejects and Eileen quickly snaps up (I love Eileen). Lister isn't feeling so forgiving.

Later in the Rovers, Kelly asks Fiz what she should do, as Lister is about to dump her. Fiz says, great, good riddance to the two-timer. But Kelly doesn't want him to leave. Fiz says a case of "the squits" (which the missus translated from Northern to English as "the runs") won't kill a guy (it will) and she should have some self-respect and go and dump him. And off she trots.

Kelly jumps into Lloyd's cab as he tries to drive Emily somewhere. She accuses him of cheating. He gives her a story about how that woman she saw him with had a lot of money that he needed to buy his share of Streetcars and he didn't enjoy it but her husband will kill because it's really his money and yadda, yadda yadda. She doesn't buy it and dumps him. Emily takes the bus, instead.

'Nice beaver.' 'Thanks, I just had it stuffed.'

Keith, drunk on nettle wine, tells Audrey her expensive mink hat is really rabbit fur and that she got ripped off. Rosie, meanwhile, is in full self-righteous teenage mode saying that fireworks should be banned because they terify animals although Craig points out that Porky and Bess were moved inside. She also spies Audrey's rabbit hat and throws it upon the fire, causing Sophie to start chanting, 'Kill the hat!'

Also, trained taxidermist Keith doesn't think much of Scooter's halibut. I like drunk Keith.

Doggy style

Molly comes into the Rover's, dressed to thrill and apparently set Homer Simpson's make-up rifle to 'Whore.' She gets Kirk to personally help her try out some new dog biscuits, by eating them himself and giving her a review. Fiz, trying to help Kelly dump her loser boyfriend, thinks she's about to lose her own guy.

Gangster's Paradise

Someone has thrown a brick through the windshield of one of the taxis. Moley tells Steve that Jimmy has begun his war.

The Chris Moyles Show

If you go to this site, and click here, and skip ahead to the 07:05 mark (five minutes into the show after the host talks about seeing Mike Baldwin), you'll hear a very funny Dev Alahan impersonation. It's good until the end of today.

Update for Thurs/Friday



Lister has screwed over Kelly one too many times with his 'I've got an emergency darts club meeting' - he won't even hang out with her when the girls buy him 5 pints as incentive. She decides it's time for revenge and when he agrees to have a quick pint or two with her at the Rovers before his latest darts meeting, she has Janice watch as she pours a pouch of powdered laxative in his beer.

He claims that the beer has a yeasty flavour, but that he enjoys it. When the first dosage hits him and he goes to the loo, she throws another package into his pint. He drinks that, gets up again, she puts in another pack. 5 in all.

Janice becomes concerned and suggests that she stop, but Kelly is determined. Honey, when JANICE is suggesting caution - it's time to stop.

Lister is doubled over at this point, but just keeps on drinking. Honey, when your throwing up in the bathroom whilst drinking - it's time to stop.

Finally he collapses on the table and is rushed to the hospital. Kelly keeps quiet until the doctor says they can't give him pain killers until they know what's wrong with him. She then confesses that she gave him 5 packets of laxitive and everyone freaks out at this.

Why Won't You Love Me?
Eileen and Sean, the morning after the Battersby wedding are delighted to know that Jason has a young lass in his room. Since Violet was looking for Jason, they both assume it's her who upstairs gently sleeping in his arms. Eileen asks Sean to text her something like 'Welcome Home'.

Just as he whips out his Motorola, there's a knock on the door and our Violet is there in all her Violetty goodness. Eileen tells her that Jason isn't around and gets rid of her asap.

No one is happy to see Sarah come down the stairs and Jason quickly gets her out the door and walks her home. He basically tells her that it was fun but there's no future in their relationship.

Later, Jason and Eileen have a heart to heart. She tells him that Violet was came looking for him at the wedding which changes everything for him, and now he wants to get her back. Eileen suggests that he come clean with her about Sarah which he thinks is a good idea.

Violet and Jason reunite and he is about to tell her about his night with Sarah. Hoping to lessen the blow, he starts off by saying, 'Remember why we broke up in the first place?'

Violet replies by apologizing and saying thank GOD she didn't actually sleep with him, but she just couldn't because in her heart she knew that Jason was her soul mate and that she could never, never, ever sleep with someone else.

Jason responds, 'Yeah. Okay.'

Meanwhile, Sarah sees Jason and Violet snogging and is distraught. She decides to abuse Scooter and to stalk Jason via text messages. Last one being, 'Why won't you talk to me? XXXXXXXX Sarah.'

Wait, I Can't Read My Own Scribble
My notes say, 'Des Now Horse' and I can't for the life of remember the point where Des Barnes reappeared on the street riding a horse.

Then I realized, 'Dev New House'. Dev and Sunita have bought their dream home and he is showing it off to all and Sundry.

Okay, Bye Martin
Martin is going to move to Liverpool to live with Robyn and has told the whole family - except of course the one member of the family who won't be happy - David.

In Other News
Candice hasn't heard back from the Quo and assumes the offer to be their stylist is off.

Dr. Phil sees Gayle at Roy's Roll and she gives him a chilly reception. Audrey tells her that it's clear they both fancy each other.

Tracey sends Cilla a bill for the flowers and the window - with daily interest.

Cilla decides to take Yana to Spain and not her new husband.

The Platts are planning a Bonfire (is this for Guy Fox day?) and Sally offers to bring something like 'Parkent' and 'Bon Fat Toffee'? What?

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Does Danny Baldwin Actually Exist?

Here's where I enlist the expertise of this site's more knowledgeable Corrie viewers. I read on some messageboard that Mike Baldwin was always established as an only child. Suddenly, two years ago his nephew Danny turns up and not only that, Mike had an affair with Danny's mother: the wife of the brother he didn't have.

So, are they right? Did the writers just ignore all those times whe Mike said 'I don't have any brothers and sisters' just to invent an extended family for him? Normally the show is pretty good about noting its history but obviously writers come and go so they can't be expected to know every little detail but this one seems kind of obvious.

What do you all think?

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Corrie Sightings



It's always interesting to find Corrie actors in other roles. This clip is from BBC's 'The Royle Family' in which Sally Lindsay (our Shel) plays, well, Shel: a beer swilling, cigarette smoking, 'unfit mother' attending the christening party of her neighbour's baby, David Keanu Ronan Best.

The voice is so nasally and the accent is so different, you'd almost not recognise her. But she's pretty funny in these scenes.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Mavis Spotting!


BBC Radio 7 is airing a play starring Old-School Corrie actor - Thelma Barlow.

Thelma played Mavis who was Rita's right hand man at the Kabin way back. She was married to Derek, who's ex-wife Angela was married to Norris.

Click here to listen.

FYI - I forgot to watch Corrie last night - so I'll do the update with friday's episode after the Sunday omnibus

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Update - Status Whoa!



The society reception of the year takes place as invited guests make their way to the Battersby shing ding.

Everyone is incredibly gracious and remain so until they get into the hall to find only a few crumbs left for their dining pleasure. Blanche is convinced that there never was any food, that Les just put out a few crumbs to make everyone beleive that they had missed the spread.

It turns out that the Quo got a bit hungry whilst everyone was off at the wedding. Les comes to the rescue with a 20 pound note which I think in England will buy - what - a bag of BBQ Walker's Crisps?


Hair Today, Gone To Norway
The Quo have a hair emergency and won't go on stage until they get a proper stylist to do their 'do's'. The Quo manager approaches Audrey, who refuses on the grounds that she's in her finery.

Candice, however, smells celebritiy-ness somewhere in the air (even though she has no idea who Status Quo are - kind of like me.) and jumps at the chance of doing their hair.

The Quo are so impressed that they offer her a permanent gig with them touring around and doing the neccessary comb-overs. Candice happily accepts, even though Audrey thinks it's a bad idea because they'll be going to 'Denmark, Sweden and Norway'.

Glacia from Norge Thingy can't see the problem with this. It's Scandanavia for goodness sake. It's all gorgeous and vodka-y there.

Wolfman Jack
So the DJ they hired for the reception comes in full Count Dracula regalia, because in his book is written 'Halloween'. Les points out that that's the standard printing of the calendar and that this is a wedding - that happens to be held on Oct. 31st.

But now the reception has a lovely spooooooooooooooky feel to it, including that all time favorite song, 'Monster Mash'.

Did I Ever Tell You, You're My Jason?
Violet tells Shel about the advice Charlie gave her earlier and Shel agrees with him, that Violet and Jason were made for each other and that she should go to the reception and claim her man.

Well, maybe Jason is made for a few ladies, because by the time Violet gets there, he is finishing snogging Sarah in the corner and the two are soon off to his place for a roll in the hay before Violet can see them.

What about Scooter, Sarah? WHAT about Scooter?

Once, Twice, Three Times a Battersby
The reception really gets underway with Guillame, I mean Billy, starting to make a toast to the groom - but handing over to the 'real' bestman, Kirkah, who compares Les to a faithful dog and starts crying.

Les then takes the floor to make a toast to his 'third and hopefully last wife' and begins to sing a loving ballad for her. Cilla, meanwhile, just leaves the hall to go check out the presents they recieved. Billy meets her back there and gives her his present, a trip to Spain.

Cilla comes back to the reception and explains to an upset Les that she had to leave the room as she was 'overcome' with emotion during his speech. They then traipse off to cut the cake - which of course WAS a display cake made out of cardboard. (At this point, Blanche's blood sugar level is so low that she becomes 'snarky'.)

The Quo is ready to go on but before they go on, Les is called back to take care of some old slag that is hassling them. That old slag would of course be, Yana.

Les rids the Quo of said slag but is dissappointed that the boys aren't all wild and crazy anymore. Neck braced Les tells Neck braced Quo members that he will keep the wild fire burning and show them how to properly 'rock' AND 'roll'.

To demonstrate, he shows them how to properly trash a dressing room and he proceeds to smash everything around him such as the coffee pot, bathtowels, microwave, set of corningware dishes, teflon pots, his and her wine glasses - you know, the usual stuff that bands keep in their dressing rooms. Just as he chucks the brand new telelvision set out the window, Cilla comes in and asks why he's destroying their wedding gifts.

'How was I to know these were our gifts? They're too nice for us.'

Cilla screams that the only reason she married him was for the gifts and now calls their marriage - I love this - ' A burning pit of agony.'

The Quo feel bad for Les at this point, knowing who he's just married and decide to do a full set for the party, not just the contracted 4 songs.

So we end the show with Wolfman Jack thinking he's introducing a tribute band with some copywrite issues - and the band plays on.

Living in the Big City - Part 235

Suspicious Package Closes Downtown Core
Jul, 19 2006 - 12:20 PM


A suspicious package shut down part of the downtown core this afternoon.
Dundas was closed between Yonge and Bay - after a package was found by a construction worker, infront of a building on the south side of Dundas.

The yellow package had a note attached that prompted police concern.

The bomb squad robot assessed the package, and determined it was not explosive. A police officer then opened the bag, and found a pair of pants inside.

Dundas was closed for almost 2 hours, and hundreds of spectators gathered to watch the police activity.



- AM 640 Toronto 24 Hour Newscentre

43rd Annual Corrie Canuck Pub Night Report



An amazing turn out for last night's Toronto Corrie Canuck Pub Night! Thanks to Go-Betty, Gillian, Ang, Lisa from Scarberia, Rebecca, Claire, Matt, Work from Home and Hubby. (I'm putting up first names - but if anyone doesn't want their names up drop me an email).

I'm kind of a goofus because I forgot take pics so you'll have to use your imagination regarding the frivolity that ensued.

I forced everyone to play a version of Headbandz where we all had the name of a Corrie character on our back and had to find out who we 'were' by asking other people a series of yes/no questions.

Then I gave away the 1997 Corrie Annual the first person who said the secret word to me. There were brilliant guesses such as 'summit', 'hotpot', 'Rovers' - but in the end Lisa guessed the secret word 'Bet Lynch'.

Kudos to the staff of the Auld Spot who once again gave us sweet treatment and were good enough to put on Corrie for us. (Thanks also the patrons at the bar who didn't bitch.)

Kudos, kudos to Claire who brought CHOCOLATE to the event. Please ensure that you can come to every event from now now, dear.

A good night of eating, drinking and chatting was had by all and I'm going to try to organize this as a monthly event. I've also got some ideas brewing for corrie dvd night, corrie monopoly night, etc. So stay tuned.

Once again, thanks to everyone who came out, especially the newbies!

Note to Radmila...hey?

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Update - July 18th - It's a Wedding!

Tonight, I'm filling in for Jacqueline, who's jetting off to the Middle East to help broker a lasting peace agreement. She'll be back to do the update for tomorrow night.

Well folks, it's come to this: the Wedding of Century. Let's get to it. Altogether now:

I'm getting married in the morning

Despite having passed out in his house and on top of "Billy" (aka the drunk Cilla picked up and took him), Les awakens at the Streetcars office. Turns out Cilla had Kirkules come 'round and take him away. Lloyd suggests a hangover breakfast from Roy's as Les dispatches his young squire Kirk to St. Jude's church with some cover story about a dying uncle.

Meanwhile, Chez Battersby, stylist to the stars Yana is doing Cilla's hair and makeup. As Bridecilla turns around, we see Yana's crowning achievement: three curls coming down her forhead, forming sixes. Yes, Cilla is about to enter a church, illegally, with the Number of the Beast on her forehead. She dashes out of the room as Les comes in and asks if Best Man "Billy" is ready to head off to church. Cilla calls out from the kitchen that he's on a "special mission" in the Gulf and won't be able to make it. Kirk will have to step in as best man after all. Suddenly, a man enters wearing what appears to be a French Foreign Legion uniform (Mare, you're the war expert. I'm 99% sure it is but can you confirm?). It's the real Billy! Cilla's eldest son and Fiz and Chesney's half-brother. Cilla says it's great that the general didn't need him after all and Billy catches on (he's a Brown, after all). Fitting, I'd reckon, that the only army someone from this clan would get into was the "No Questions Asked" army.

Les says this isn't the same guy but Cilla tells him he was too drunk to tell last night. As Billy and Les drive to the church, Les still thinks Billy was a few inches shorter. Billy tells that's the army boots, designed to frighten the enemy. If he likes, he can get him a pair. Suddenly, Les is distracted by Status Quo's Francis Rossi, who is standing on the side of the road, speaking on a mobile phone. Les takes his eyes off the road and then takes his cab smack into the back of Status Quo's van, injuring Rick Parfitt's neck. Parfitt asks if Led Zeppelin are paying Les to keep attacking them. Les roars off to Casuality as Rick drops to the ground in pain.

Ding dong the bells are gonna chime

Sarah and the recently returned Scooter (seriously the guy just vanished after his court case) are discussing the wedding. Sarah-Lou thinks it will be romantic and mushy when they say their vows. Sarah, this is the same wedding, right? Scooter isn't interested in going to the wedding of some people he doesn't know nor like. Besides, he'd rather watch TV all day, especially when there's a Victor Mature film on TV.

Pull out the stopper, let's have a whopper

On her special day, Cilla admires herself in the mirror. She becomes emotional.

"I've got a lump in my throat!" she says.

"That's not the only place!" Fiz adds.

Fiz wants to know if Cilla is supposed to be the Bride of Chucky or the Bride of Frankenstein.

Cilla dispatches Fiz to pick up her flowers from Tracy (wait, she still works for living? Seriously?). Fiz says she won't get much, being skint and all. Cilla says to leave that part to Yana.

But at the flower shop, Tracy tells them no money = no flowers.

But get me to the church on time

Leanne steps off the bus to greet a waiting Janice. She says she had to come back for her dad's wedding and woudn't miss it for the world. Janice says if Les has any sense, he'll miss it.

Jamie pauses as he sees her across the street. Leanne suggests she and Janice to the Rovers. She believes if Jamie still looks at her like that, then there's still hope.

I've got to be there in the morning
Billy and Les arrive at the church, with Les now sporting a neck brace.

Chesney is thrilled to see his big brother. Kirk tells Les that the Vicar bought his story and left ten minutes ago. He gives Les a flower for his lapel, telling him that there's a whole bush of them nearby. Les tells him you can't steal a vicar's flowers but Father Hunter S. Abraham puts things into a more spiritual perspective:

'The flora and fauna were made by the hand of the Almighty, as I said to that magistrate when I was caught with that frozen chicken.'

Unfortunately, the church is locked with a note, warning of a prowler described as a ginger-haired middle-aged man. Kirk reckons that they caught Les casing the joint.

Spruced up and looking in my prime

Back at the Rover's Leanne asks if she can join Jamie. he says she may as well, she does what she likes anyway.

She tells him she came back for him and she needs him. Jamie figured as much and tells her to go to the wedding.

Leanne tells him the only wedding she wants to go to is theirs. Jamie says it would all just be an act and if she really cared for him, she'd put him out of his misery.

Girls come and kiss me, show how you'll miss me

Billy attempts to put his Foreign Legion skills to the test and tries to pick the lock of the church. Failing that, he busts the window and sends Chesney through to open the door.

Father Hunter S. Abraham says the power of prayer is a wonderous thing and forces the men down on their knees to thank God. He truly is filled with the Holy Spirit. And booze.




But get me to the church on time


Yana having failed to get the flowers from Tracy, Cilla attempts to negotiate their release. Tracy does not budge from her original offer. Cilla tries to push her way in but Tracy boots her to the curb and then sticks a 'for sale' sign on the flowers in the window. Cilla grabs Joshua's tricycle and throws it through the Barlow front window but this pushes the flowers further inside the house. As Tracy comes screaming out of the house, she jumps into the limo, driven by Lloyd, the getaway driver, but not before she nicks some flowers from Dev's window display.

In the limo, Cilla thinks the flowers smell artificial but Lloyd tells her that's disinfectant. Some girls the previous evening had a 21st birthday party and redecorated.

If I am dancing, roll up the floor

Sarah-Lou sees Jason has gone stag to the wedding and starts flirting with him. I know they have history and all but this seems quite sudden. Meanwhile back at the Rover's Charlie tells Violet to stop punishing Jason when it's Charlie who's the bad guy. He says Jason will take her back in an instant but warns that he won't wait around forever.

If I am whistling, *whew* me out the door

At the church, Les tells Kirk to make sure he plays track six on the Classical Crackers CD when Cilla walks in (Dr. Zhivago) and NOT track eight (TJ Hooker).

Chesney tells Les he's helpfully cleaned up Schmeichel's land mines in the aisle. He tells Les that he's the best uncle he's ever had.

As Cilla and the bridesmaids pull up, Father Abraham says they need to use the side door when he sees Cilla's three sixes on her forehead and starts quoting the Book of Revelation.

When she arrives at the aisle, she says this is as good as it's ever going to get for her so she might as well enjoy it. As she walks down the aisle to Handel's Zadok the Priest (and not Dr. Zhivago as it turns out), the guest look on aghast. Audrey makes sure Eileen is aware that she is not responsible for her hair.

Father Abraham begins the service. When he gets to the part about fidelity (ha!), Kirk spots the vicar returning unexpectedly. Father Abraham puts the service on fast forward and Les and Cilla literally run down the aisle as Kirk tries to head off the vicar at the pass.

Fred exclaims, "I've heard of marry in haste but this is ridiculous!" Audrey wonders if they're trying for a record. Yes, Norris adds, most morons in a single car as Les, Cilla, Yana, Fiz, Billy, Chesney, Father Abraham, and Schmeichel all pile into the limo. Bev is disappointed that she didn't even get a chance to throw her confetti. Blanche says with her Shelley, that confetti's seen more weddings than Elizabeth Taylor!

Kirk asks the vicar spiritual questions like what hobbies God has. The vicar asks Kirk if he is on drugs and informs him that he doesn't have any money.

The limo pulls up and Les yells out, 'Wahey! We're going crazy! And we're going today!' Nice church you've got mate!' and Kirk jumps in. The vicar recognises Les as Cilla shouts, 'You might want to wash your front step. The dog's christened it!'

Father Abraham tosses his robes out the window and Cilla tosses her bouquet as they pull off to the strains of Status Quo's 'Rockin' All Over The World.'

And that, my friends, is how you do a wedding.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Update for Epiosde # 6149 July 17, 2006

Warning - some of the images about to be described may be disturbing to some.

The Hen Night

Cilla and Yana are in the cafe bemoaning the fact that the male stripper they had arranged for the hen night is unavailable. It turns out the stripper had been recognized by his DSS case worker while performing a limbo at another party, and had been sent up for welfare fraud. (please note earlier warning) There is a clever joke lurking at the tip of my brain about a male stripper, his pole, and the limbo, but it just isn't coming together. You know where I'm going though. Cilla, in a loving mood, asks if Frankie will be able to hang on to a tray of food as well as she was able to hang onto her husband. Some verbal sparring ensues and Cilla ends up calling Frankie a hard faced southern slapper. It's good to know her upcoming wedding is smoothing out some of her rough edges.
We next see Cilla and Yana in the living room of the bride to be, their faces covered with mud masks and some sort of vegetables. This is apparently an attempt to beautify or disguise themselves. Les is told he is not to come home that night, because this is bad luck or tradition or something. Kirk is manfully trying to write his best man speech (is there one D in marriage?) but he too gets evicted so the girls can have a last night of quality time together.
The two hens are soon at The Rovers dressed as some of the sluttiest nurses the world has ever seen. Norris, having grown a spine recently, tells the two trollops that they are demeaning the angels of mercy that nurses really are by dressing the way they have. Of course Janice is in the Rovers as well and she and Cilla have some harsh words about old lover boy Les. Sean and Janice decide to leave and go to The Weatherfield Arms for a quiet drink. (Sean is worried the two nurses might try and 'convert' him) The girls are having a great time, and when a couple of drunks are found wandering down the street everyhting falls into place - Cilla can have have her last fling before the big day.

The Stag Do

Les is planning the best stag night of the year, and since he doesn't really have a best man yet he has to plan it himself. People don't seem to be too keen on the idea, but his co-workers eventually agree to show up when he makes it a co-ed evening. In spite of the fact Les is wearing his best pulling jacket the big night out isn't very exciting, most likely because they went to The Weatherfield Arms. Claire saves the day however when she gets the group playing some drinking games, and much hilarity ensues. Les is soon four sheets to the wind and having a wonderful time. When Janice and Sean show up, Les can't help himself and tries to get a leg over on Janice, for old times sake. 'It would be like pulling on an old pair of slippers' says Les, the snake charmer in his snakeskin jacket. Janice is not impressed by the plan though, and pours her pint down the front of his trousers. At the end of the night we see Les, barely able to walk, being brought home by his mates. He decides, against advice, orders, and any shred of common sense, to stop in at home to tell Cilla how much he loves her.

Hen and Stag

Cilla has brought home one of the drunken louts from The Rovers for one last night of passion. They are interrupted though by Les barging in to profess his love for his bethrothed. Cilla, in her red bra and panties, (please note earlier warning) and the half dressed drunken lout cause Les some confusion but Cilla convinces Les that it is her son Billy who has returned for the wedding. Les, his worries alleviated, proceeds to pass out on the sofa. The other bloke leaves in a hurry, telling Cilla that she and Les are perfect for each other.

Bits and Bobs

David wants to play a little footie in the park with Martin and Craig but both of them have previous commitments with their respective female friends. Martin promises to be available next time, but David isn't having any of it. He whines in the way only he can, and slinks off to his room to sulk and have some misogynistic thoughts that he can act out against his mother.

Violet, Jason ,and Charlie continue their strange little dance of work and romance.

Penny and Mike have a good heart to heart chat about the family and decide to help out by giving Jamie a job at Penny's firm as the transport manager. Danny is overjoyed by this plan and they all have a nice little family squabble down at The Rovers.

Reminder

PUB NIGHT TOMMOROW!!!! WOO HOO!

Tuesday, July 18, 7:00pm

Auld Spot Pub
347 Danforth Ave, Toronto (A few blocks east of Broadview station)

416.406.4688

Update from Friday

Danny Tries...

Danny is back on the street and looking rough. He calls him mom to apologize for his behaviour and then goes over to Frankie's place to tell her what's happened. Frankie tells him to get lost until he lets her know the 'Who's My Daddy' situation.

Frankie lends a sympathic ear - right up to the point where Danny ask if they can give it another go and being a married couple. He even has the nerve to suggest that she's the reason why they can't all be a happy family.

Frankie tells Danny to jump in a lake.

Kirkules and the Wild Boar
Kirkules's next assignment is to capture a wild boar. (I wonder if they wrote in Keith's pig just for this moment?)

Naturally, his first thought is to take one of Keith's pig and Scooter is there to give advice. Unfortunately, they get caught by Keith and Jack and Kirkules has to give up that plan.

Always the bright one, Kirkules shows up at the Battersby's with Roy on hand...the Wild Bore.

Glacia snorts vodka and oj out of her nose.

That was pretty damn funny. Especially since Roy immediately corrects them on the spelling starts droning on about Greek mythology and sks who is the Greek Scholar amongst the Battersbys. Oh, take your pick Roy, take your pick.

Inspired by Shel's previous generosity, Bride-cilla tries to get Tracey to give her a freebie on the flowers. Yes, Tracey, the soul of charity.

Tracey says she'll do the flowers for 200 pounds (or some such number).

Bride-cilla is insulted.

Sign of the Times
Rita has the sign on the store chaged to Sullivan and Cole (Oh, how I used to love the old 'Sullivan and Cole' musicals!).

Resigned to second biling, Norris checks to make sure the lettering is the same size.

Okay, You Can Stop Laughing Now
Mike and Penny, in some kind of weird After School Speical moment, decide to sit Adam down and tell them the dark family secret.

Adam, Danny is your half brother.

Adam laughs hard about this and then orders lunch.

Over time, with the right therapy, I think Adam should come out of this okay.

Two Timing Llyod
Janice gets Lloyd to set a date with Kelly who is mooning over our cabbie. Llyod takes the challenge and sets a date with her that evening - at the pub.

But then he gets a call from 'Tina' who wants to see him, so he cancels the Kelly date under the 'darts tournament' excuse. Which both Janice and Kelly know is a crock of hot pot.

Oh Lloyd, oh Lloyd.

In other news
- Scooter is still unemployed
- Security at Streetcars in tightened
- Jamie continues to be attractive with SHORT hair.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Coronation Street in the Winnipeg The-a-tha



Just a heads up that the Ellice Theatre (Ellice Cafe & Theatre, Winnipeg, Canada) is planning on airing classic Corrie episodes one evening this summer/fall. More info to follow.

Friday, July 14, 2006

From Angela

Was browsing around a site at work and found this. Thought it might be of interest to some of you.

North/South

Might be a good site to bookmark for you corrie fans out there.

Meanwhile, the Welsh Stud Comes to Town



Thanks to John for the update, I was otherwise occupied last night with my date with Mr. Tom Jones at the Hummingbird Centre.

I'm happy to report that I managed to sneak my way down to the front of the stage to get an even better glimpse of the Welsh Sex Bomb. It was amazing and I finally got close enough so that I knew I could successfully throw a pair of panties on stage.

Except the item I ended up throwing on stage was a baby seal plush toy. I screamed, 'Oh my god, wrong purse! That was meant for Morrissey!'

Or maybe I just stayed in my seat in the 24th row.



I wasn't going to take a picture because of the 'verboten' signs all around, but at some point people were down at the front having the security guards snap pictures of them with Tom Jones as a backdrop...so I figured all bets were off at that point.

But hell yeah...he's a god. He did flash us some skin at the end and I for one am AMAZED at the 6 pack a 66 year old man can have.

Jacqueline shudders and smiles.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Update - July 13th - Solidarity Forever!

There is Power in a Loosely Associated Band of Non-unionised Labourers

The Websters recieve the following message on their doorstep:

After God had finished the rattlesnake, the toad, and the vampire, he had some awful substance left with which he made a scab.

A scab is a two-legged animal with a corkscrew soul, a water brain, a combination backbone of jelly and glue.

Where others have hearts, he carries a tumor of rotten principles.

When a scab comes down the street, men turn their backs and angels weep in heaven, and the devil shuts the gates of hell to keep him out.

No man (or woman) has a right to scab so long as there is a pool of water to drown his carcass in, or a rope long enough to hang his body with.

Judas was a gentleman compared with a scab. For betraying his master, he had character enough to hang himself. A scab has not.

Esau sold his birthright for a mess of pottage.

Judas sold his Savior for thirty pieces of silver.

Benedict Arnold sold his country for a promise of a commision in the british army.

The scab sells his birthright, country, his wife, his children and his fellowmen for an unfulfilled promise from his employer.

Esau was a traitor to himself; Judas was a traitor to his God; Benedict Arnold was a traitor to his country.

A scab is a traitor to his God, his country, his family and his class.
Sally thinks the strikers have resorted to hate mail but doesn't think any of the girls are smart enough to write something like that. Rosie points out that it's Jack London. They ask how she knows and says Keith told her. Sophie says Rosie's the one Googling famous quotes about scabs and printing them.

Sally feels kind of bad about not picketing and takes the day off. Besides, the replacement grannies they brought in are pretty dim and she has to do all the work.

Mike and Adam, fresh from his feed of tasty, tasty pasta, tell the strikers that what they're doing is not legal and request a meeting with Janice. Mike says she can get her job back if she promises not to let the other girls form a union, saying why get a union when they have Janice. He also says he printed up and apology and got Janice a new radio. This sounds like a great deal until Janice sees the apology is from her and the radio comes out of her pay. Her other choice is her pink slip. She chooses the apology, on the condition that it's on the down low and the other girls think she brokered the deal.

Should have gone for the wrongful dismissal suit.

Later Janice sees Sally but doesn't let her know the strike is off. She convinces Sally to picket to show her support. At the end of the day, the workers come out and Sally and Rosie accuse them of scabbing. Mike sees Sally and says he thought she was sick today. He tells her not to expect any sick pay.

There is Power in a Group of Intimidated Cabbies

Lloyd is having a meeting with the cabbies and is now with Steve on the option of showing a united front and won't be intimidated by Jimmy Clayton, even if Les thinks Moley should be sacked.

Later, Tracy plunks down Amy at the office and tells Eileen to tell Steve it's his turn to care for her. Jimmy calls and does the threatening routine. Moley comes in and Eileen tells her to take Amy to Steve's place for her safety.

Tracy gets wind of what's going on and tells Steve that Amy isn't going to be spending any more time with him or "Ronald McDonald."

There is Power in a Girdle

Kirk attempts to retrieve the Girdle of Hippolyte Blanche Hunt by buying a new one, intended for her. Cilla says that's not good enough so he steals one from her line. Cilla is satisfied and he attempts to return it, only to hear Blanche telling Ken that someone has stolen it. They find him hiding in the outhouse, clutching the girdle to his bosom. Blance hits him with her cane, telling him he'll go blind.

There is Power in an Armchair

Danny goes to London to visit his mum, or rather, confront her. He sees his dad's old chair and says how this was the chair he was sitting in when Danny first told him Carol was pregnant, he crashed the car, he made his first rhyming slang, etc. All the while he'd tear at a little hole in the arm, because Danny wasn't his son and that's why there was a distance between. Danny thought it was normal for a father to behave toward his son that way. No, Danny, that's just because you're British.

Anyway, Danny starts tearing the hole bigger and bigger until he finally breaks down and starts kicking it around. Mum thinks he's going to hit her when he collapses in tears.

What do you think? Is Danny right be upset? Should the girls start a union? Is Kirk really into lady's girdles?

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Update - July 12th - Luke, I am your father!

Weatherfield Wars: Episode Four: A New Mope

Previously on Corrie:


"Danny, I am your father. Join me and we will rule Weatherfield together, as father and son!"

Danny can't believe it and thinks it's some kind of tactic from Mike and tells the tale of Angina Andy, who would fake a heart attack to close a deal. He died at age 94 of something other than a heart attack. Danny thinks the Darth Vader/Luke Skywalker routine is a joke and suggests that he is, in fact, Mike's daughter but he had a sex change, just like Hayley was once a man. Hey, he's his sister! He's his daughter! He's his sister AND his daughter!

But Mike tells him it's true. Danny says he owes Mike a belting on behalf of his father. He can't believe that Mike didn't figure that sex + nine months + baby = paternity. Mike said he just pushed it to the back of his mind, just like Danny did when he was in bed with his son's girlfriend. Danny always thought that his dad was a decent man and that no matter how he screwed up, there was a always a little bit of his dad in him. And a little bit of him in Leanne, too.

Mike leaves Danny alone after he rushes everyone out of the factory. Afterward, he calls Frankie who hangs up as soon as she hear his voice.

Lake Mike complains to Penny that he's messed all his relationships. Penny reminds him he's done well with her. Adam walks in and asks for pasta for lunch. Mike knows that Adam sure loves that pasta. If there's one thing Mike knows it's his son, and his son loves the pasta.

Danny sits alone in the dark, trying to reach his mother by phone.

Weatherfield Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Norris decides to have his name painted onto the sign at the Kabin. Rita is not amused.

Weatherfield Wars: Episode V: The Bigot Strikes Back

Claire doesn't think Ashley need worry about the Claytons. I dunno. Kind of directly threatened Joshua. I'd think twice before going back to work. But then, if Claire stays home because Nick threatened them, then the terrorists have won.

Later at the cab office, Jimmy Clayton comes in looking for the boss, meaning Steve. Lloyd the co-owner says he doesn't know where he is. He tries to smooth things over but Jimmy tells him he wants the organ grinder, not the monkey. Lloyd suspects this is a racist remark as Kelly comes in and gets the same treatment from Jimmy. Suddenly, Lloyd isn't interested in negotiating a truce and tells Enoch Powell to get stuffed.

Weatherfield Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Pished

Yana distracts Diggory as Les steals his cake (so much for my theory about Les trying to lead an honest life). Cilla and Les hide it from Kirk by throwing a tea towel over it and claiming it's Yana's budgie. Kirk meanwhile has returned from asking Blanche what size corset she wears. She smacks him with her cane.

Weatherfield Wars: Episode VI: Return of the ... oh, forget it

Janice wonders what's going on over the factor as it's suddenly gone quiet.

Violet's still pissed at Jason for working for Charlie. Jason says he needs work. Violet says she's not pissed but she's pissed.

Bigger British Boobs

The breasts of British women are increading in size, according to this article:

British women's breasts are getting bigger with sales of large bra sizes tripling over the last three years.

New figures show there has been a 30 per cent increase in demand for bras with cup sizes of DD and above since 2003. According to lingerie firm La Senza the average bra size in the UK is 36C, whereas 10 years ago most women had a smaller, 34B chest.

Experts say the boom in bust size can be explained by the dramatic rise in the number of women opting for cosmetic surgery implants. A general change in women's body shapes, which has seen a move towards the fuller figure, is also behind the increased bust-lines.

Zoom Airlines offers discount fares to the UK.

Ghost of Ronny Future

I know this might be stretching it...but everytime I see Ronny, I think of Betty Hyslop (the mum in Murial's wedding played by Jeanie Drynan)

Moley:



Betty:



Betty Past:


Maybe it's just me....

BTW - Moley pic taken from TartyDoris.

Happy Snacking


Last night during Corrie I tucked into some new Lay's Curry Flavoured Chips. These were amazing. I had trouble not eating the whole bag. Highly recommended with lager...

Oddly, at the Frito-Lay Canada site the flavour isn't noted. However, some enthusiasts over at Wikipedia have already cottoned on.

The few times I've been to England I've always enjoyed their many wacky flavours of crisps, particular those from Walkers. You can even suggest a flavour. I suggested hot pot.

To be fair, my favourite chips of all time are Utz's. These are available in the U.S. along the eastern seaboard. Back in the fat days we used to order these by the case. Favourite flavour: BBQ Grandma Utz's cooked in lard.

The Mighty Update



Kirkules hero of song and story, winner of ancient glory...

Kirk is in full hero mode and his trusty boy Newt, I mean Chesney is cheering him on. His next mission is to get Vera's girdle.



Bride-cilla is trying to make the tasks harder and harder so that she can get 'Billy' as the best man. Does anyone know who this Billy is?

Oh she's also hassling Les about the wedding cake. Apparently he's never been to a wedding and didn't know there was a cake involved.

Special Yana moment, using the tanning bed with her heels on. I love Yana.

(Also, kudos to Vera for telling Chesney that it's Mrs. Duckworth and Mrs. Hunt and not Vera and Blanche as far as he's concerned.)

Phil-a-busted
Gayle comes to the decision that she can probably never has sex again (much to many viewers relief) and breaks up with Dr. Phil.

Glacia's special message to Phil:



Gingers Snap
Moley tells Claire that Ashley resigned on her behalf and Claire was completely cool with that.

Just kidding, Claire blew her top and there was a great big blow out between Ashley and Claire about this, but in the end Claire kept her job.

Okay, granted Ashley shouldn't resign Claire without her knowing it...but I think Claire should think about this for a second. Ashley's son was threatened and so was Claire, so I think Ashley does have a right to ask her to get another job.

If he all of a sudden wanted to because a firefighter in Iraq, she'd probably dissuade him.

Just my two bits. What do you think?

How Not to Decorate
Norris, now partner in the Kabin, wants to call in Colin and Justin to give the store a make over - or at least paint the front himself.

Rita tells him it's nonsense. Later,however, when Rita's making plans to go on a cruise while Norris minds the shop, we see him twirling his imaginary mustache and saying, 'Excellllent.' (Me thinks he has evil plans).

Your OMG Moment
The strike continues on much the same, but Mike is anxious to end all of this especially since the replacement workers aren't producing quality materials. He tells Danny that he puts profits over principals and that Danny better get Janice reinstated with a warning.

(Just a side thing...how come she wasn't sacked when she burned down the factory? I forget. I'd think THAT would be justifiable.)

Meanwhile outside, the girls are giving Sally a hard time and Janice wants to use Blanche's cane to beat Sally. Um....more reasons why this gal is not a star employee.

Mike and Danny continue to duke it out inside and when Mike gives Danny the big 'Don't shit where you eat' speech, Danny calls Mike a hypocrite. He says that Mike had so many affairs that he probably wouldn't know one of his own kids if he stood in front of him.

Mike replies, 'I see you.'

Danny doesn't twig, or maybe he does and doesn't want to go down that path and he continues on about how Adam will inherit everything.

Mike finally tells him that he's his son too.

Da-da-daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

(Oh Danny boy, it's been a helluva week for you, hasn't it?)

Monday, July 10, 2006

Update for Episode # 6144 July 10, 2006

The Foot Fiddler

Audrey comes by to find Gail looking like hell. (more so than usual at least) It seems she is upset about her inability to do the horizontal limbo with the man who hails from kiltland. Maybe it was the bad mood music she had playing when Phil came by for dinner. Maybe it was flashbacks of Richard. Who knows.

A brief personal aside, David has to be the rudest son in the history of the world. Someone needs to give him a good swift kick in the twig and berries.

The Twelve Tasks of Kirkules

It turns out Kirk has always wanted to be a best man more than he has ever wanted to be a groom. Much smarter than he lets on, our Kirkeh. The first of the twelve tasks he has to perform in order to be the best man for Les is to get a toy away from Schmeichel. After going to great lengths and depths (mostly depths) to accomplish this job, he eventually succeeds with a little help from Molly. Along the way he manages to have a bit of a tiff with Fizz in the Rovers. (a love triangle developing maybe?) In the end there is some kharmic retribution when Schmeichel knocks both Cilla and her chair on their backsides. Good boy Schmeichel!

There is Power in a Union

The strike continues at the knicker factory. The dynamic Baldwin duo have brought in scab workers in an effort to keep things moving but their work is not up to snuff. Mike returns from holiday to find things in a right state. Hayley fills him in on what has been going on, and Mike proceeds to give Danny what for, and tells him to get things straightened away post haste. Much manly talking ensues, but nothing gets resolved.

Coffee Break

The four generations of women at the Barlow residence have had enough of Ken doing his Mr. Hyde impersonation and implore him to have some coffee. Maintaining an iota of his dignity he accedes to their wishes for the good of the family and proceeds to jab an IV needle in his arm and mainlines a double espresso. Well, he just has a cup of coffee but everyone seems greatly relieved all the same.

Ham or Cheese?

Danny stops in at the cafe supposedly to get a sandwich, but if Frankie felt like talking he would be willing to engage in a little chin wag with her. To her credit Frankie responds with 'ham or cheese?' and doesn't fall for the sales pitch Danny is trying out on her. In the end she tells him to sling his hook and be gone. Three cheers for Frankie I say.

If I Only had a Brain

The Streecars/Connect Cabs saga continues. Ronnie is still gainfully employed by Steve as a concubine, er cabbie. Things have been peaceful between the two firms for a while. Then we see a nasty young man (Nick, the son of Jimmy Clayton) getting into the back of Claire's cab, where Joshua is sitting. He proceeds to threaten Claire and her family if she doesn't stop driving for Streetcars. Then he follows Claire home to make sure she knows that he can find her if he wants to. Claire had already called Ashley so he knew what had happened. Ashley then proceeds to put his boxing training to good work and gets stuck in on the thuggish lout. (nothing says manly like threatening a woman and her small child) Ashley proceeds to the Rovers and tells Steve what has happened and that Claire will no longer be driving for Streetcars. Steve still can't see the connection between what has been happening at work (threats and vandalism) with him employing Ronnie as a mattress test pilot. Really, can anyone be that stupid? Maybe the mole queen can do some weird tantric stuff that has caused Steve's brain to shut down completely.

Pub Night Annoucement



How about?

Tuesday, July 18, 7:00pm

Auld Spot Pub
347 Danforth Ave, Toronto (A few blocks east of Broadview station)

416.406.4688

We had a very successful pub night here and I think part of the reason is that it's convenient for everyone...it's not too far from downtown (5 min subway ride from bloor/yonge) and it's accessible to the out of towners.

So....your mission is to tell me if you can make it. If there's a whack of us, I'll ask them to reserve a table for us.

Yes, Virgina There Is a John Thomas


So on Friday's episode, Roy celebrates the battle of Trafalger at the cafe. Jack is uninterested until Roy explains that one of Jack's ancestors was Rear Admiral John Thomas Duckworth.

See, when I hear 'John Thomas' I'm thinking it's all fakey-fake, a historical character made up by the clever minds at Corrie.

Nope - there really was a JT Duckworth. AND he was born in Surrey, AND he was Commodore General of Newfoundland 1810-1812, AND there's a street named after him in Newfoundland.

Other Friday Events:

Gayle gets Phil over for a night of love and romance, except when they get to the romance part, she flips out in some kind of flashback nightmare of Richard and tells Phil to hit the road.

Bride-cilla doesn't think Kirkeh is up to the job as bestman, but Sophie and Chelsey suggest that they send him on a mission to complete 10 tasks to prove he's worthy. Bride-cilla calls him Kirkuleas and Glacia snorts Mai-Tai out of her nose.

Yana also waxes romantic about all the men in uniform she's loved before. I lost my notes, but she says something like, 'I just see an eppilet and I go all weak.' (I hear ya, sister, I hear you.)

The strike is still on, although Haley is having a hard time keeping the troops enthusiastic. Janice, on who's behalf the strike is on for, finds it hard to breakaway from her hangover to actual participate in the picket.

Sally decides to cross the picketline and there is much jostling and screaming, until Kevin comes over and tells them to lay off his wife.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Toronto Pub Night?

I think it's time to go out and chat about Corrie.

Any suggestions for dates? Any of our distance friends gonna be in town?

And Furthermore...


This Corrie Fan's name is Mary Beth. :-) This pic is from a Canada Day party I went to last weekend where we had to wear name tags!

Scared Smokeless Update



Yes, Lucy has NOTHING to do with Corrie.

I just want to give a shout out to my homeboy Shatnerian that his point has been taken. I want to keep my squeaky lisp for evah.

Waaaaaaaaaaah, Daaaaaaaaaaany!
Danny has decided to wallow in self pity and drink to recover from this terrible mess he's made of his life.

Meanwhile, there's factory to be run and an anxious Scot at the helm. Adam tells Danny that they won't get the latest order out on time if they don't give the girls overtime. Danny tells him that they can't afford it and he's going to have to go out there and motivate them.

See, when I think of the word 'motivate' I think a reward for a job well done, free pizza, crazy shirt day, a round of pints, a roll in the sack with young Adam...but no, apparently motivate translated into Baldwinese is 'take away Sinead O'Conner singing on the radio'. Yes, Adam takes away their radio, telling them that it's too much distraction.

Even Haley protests this move along with the rest of the crew and Adam has to give in to them. Later when they're on a lunch break, he tells them to get back to work and they tell him to jump in a lake.

Adam finds Danny in the pub and tells them that he has to come straighten this out. Danny comes back to the factory, reads the riot act and smashes the radio.He asks if there are any questions to which Janet responds, 'Yeah. How's the family.' Which just gets her sacked.

In a show of support for Janice, all the workers (less Sally) walk off the job leaving Danny and Adam in the lurch.

My favorite line of the show is Adam turning to Sal and saying, 'Would you like some overtime?'

They Call Him Cuban Les
It turns out that Les IS going to steal the church for the wedding. (Cause the only other way to get a holy man to marry you is to become a God follower.) He also plans to have Father Hunter S. marry them to the haunting refrain of 'Three Times a Lady'.

Gosh, this gets me all verklempt as it reminds me of my wedding day when I became Mrs. Glacia McGillicudy Ricardo Luckinbill.

Martin, Ju Habe Sum Esplanen' to Do
Martin waits for Robyn to return his calls and waits and waits. Meanwhile, in typical Martin fashion when he's upset, he's surley and rude to rest of humanity.

Poor Violet innocently asks about Robyn and bloody Martin basically tells her to shut it and when she jokes about her big mouth, he nods his head and says, 'Yeah'.

In the end Violet walks into the pub to reunite with our Martin and you know he's all madly in love with her - because they've known each other for request 2 week period it takes for peeps to fall in love.

Have a Cup of Cuba's Finest
Ken is so strung out on his no-caffeine fest that he's become forgetful and agitated.

He ended up 'accidentally' stealing a book from the library and gets arrested whilst poor Tracey and Amy were left alone with Thomas the Train in the kiddie's section.

Babalu It's Dr. Phil
Gayle has been fretting about Dr. Phil not contacting her, until she gets a text message from him asking her if he's done something to offend her. She sees that some messages have been deleted from her mobile and quickly figures out that David's been erasing them.

She calls Dr. Phil back and leaves a nauseating 'teenage girl in love' kind of message for him apologizing for the missed communication and would he like to, you know, maybe, if he's not to busy, kind, hang out?

Glacia just drops a straw in the bottle of rum beside her sofa and starts sucking it back.

Dev and Sunita Mertz
Dev and Sunita go for the sonogram at the hospital to see how the 'twins' are doing. Dev tries to get the nurse to tell him what sex they are, but she tells him that it's against hospital policy to tell.

Huh?

Why?