Sunday, April 30, 2006

Truckfest is Back in Town!




Get set for some big rig action with Coronation Street stars.

If you’re in Peterborough England today, you can meet Bradley Walsh (our Danny Baldwin), Debra Stephenson (our Frankie Baldwin), and Richard Fleeshman (our Craig Harris) at Truckfest.

The real stars of the show are, of course, the monster trucks – Bigfoot, Monstrous, Swamp Thing and Red Dragon.

Regular Corrie Canuck readers may remember last summer’s Truckfest.

Hours of car-crushing entertainment.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Attention Edmonton Corrie Fans


I just received this email from Karen, our correspondent in Edmonton:

Anyone who lives in the Edmonton, Alberta area can drop a line to edmontonhotpots@hotmail.com

We are a bunch of Coronation Street watchers who get together once or twice a month for a cuppa and some fun discussion of the Street and all things British. Come join us. E-mail us at the above address for more info. Cheers !


So let Karen know you're out there and hook up with other fans.

On a related note, I'm half Belgian.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

At least they have Corrie in Belgium


Coronation Street is coming to Belgian TV's:
Vitaya in Belgium has acquired six months worth of episodes of Coronation Street from Granada International.

The general entertainment/lifestyle channel will broadcast Coronation Street five days a week, starting from the episodes where Steve MacDonald marries Karen and Tracy Barlow reveals he is the father of her daughter Amy. It will be aired with Flemish subtitles.

For the Peeps from Chi'town, St. Joe's and Hali



I'm in love with Randy.

While we're waiting for Corrie to resume its daily broadcasts, I thought I'd share this event that Ang found. (I think there's a few down easterners here.)

From Ang:

I found this in my email this morning. I'm involved with the Sprockets
International Film Festival for Children this weekend, but I am hoping
to find a couple of hours to check out this show. I have 3 words for
you "Bologna Eating Competition"! You can't get more east coast then
that.


Hmmm, when is the OutWest show gonna happen?

Events:
Surrey drive by shooting gallery
Real estate chase
Hemp Stew
Laser Grunge Frisbee

Stephen Reid




For our reader who was wondering about Audrey's Canadian son, here’s a little blurb I posted about Stephen Reid back in December.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

When Will This End?

If memory serves the NHL playoffs go on forever... well into June. Does this mean no daily Corrie until they are over?

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Oh, I get it....



Big revelation on Classic Corrie.

Sally's upbringing included domestic violence.

She tells Trish that her dad used to beat her mother black and blue and that her mother had to have two jobs to support the family.

Thus explains Sally's need to better her family's position.

And in other news, Audrey's son Steve is dating Deidre. WHAT the hell is her appeal?

Myself, I Don't Know What to Do With Myself, Me.

MJ asks what we're doing with the extra time.

I'm writing my own Corrie scripts.



So far..

Fred is torn between his career and his new vegan girlfriend.

Ashley reveals that he too is transgendered and is former barmaid Raquel.

In smashing move of generational one upmanship - Mike starts an affair with Leanne.

Any other ideas out there?

TV Turnoff Week


St. Clare: Patron Saint of Television


As we begin our first week without our nightly Corrie episodes, isn’t it funny that it’s also TV Turnoff Week?

Yes, I am “turned off” by the lack of Coronation Street on my TV!

So what are you all doing with that extra half hour to yourselves?

Happy Birthday, William Roache


Ken and Deirdre


WILLIAM (BILL) ROACHE, MBE (our Ken Barlow)

Born: April 25, 1932 in Ilkeston, Derbyshire, England






William Roache appeared in the first episode of Coronation Street in 1960, and is the only remaining actor from that original episode to still appear in The Street.

Happy 74th birthday, Bill!



Sunday, April 23, 2006

Dear CBC


Friday night's episode was pre-empted by the NHL playoffs. However, Carol MacNeil promised us that new episodes would air during the omnibus on Sunday. I did the math: Monday through Thursday's episodes would air as normal between 7:30 amd 9:30. I assumed the unaired Friday episode would air at 9:30.

Imagine my surprise when, at 9:30, instead of the Friday episode, we got the Thursday episode. That, good sirs, is poor programming. You lied to us through Carol MacNeil!

In closing, screw you, CBC! Screw you!

love,
John

PS: Go Habs Go!

Reg Holdsworth Excitedly Sells Windows

The Jim McDonald Story

Warning: uses very rude words:

"When I See My Baby Cry" - by Joanne

"When I see my baby cry,
All I wanna do is die.
Die a thousand deeeeaaaaaaaaths."

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Birds of Weatherfield

First I must preface this with a confession that I partake in one of those wonderfully British pastimes, birdwatching. The birds with feathers, not the ones down at the pub of course.

Today while was glancing through one of my guide books I saw that the latin name for the Bohemian Waxwing is 'Bombycilla Garrulus' which seems to have a strange parallel to our dear fish fryer friend Cilla.

She thinks she is the bomb, and she is indeed garrulous. Get it?

It seemed funny to me. Really.

I know, Papa Smurf the bird nerd.

Friday, April 21, 2006

Weatherfield's Gone Chav - Update 20APR06


Filling in for the vacationing Jacqueline, who's wallpapering her house in Burberry as we speak, I have agreed to handle last night's update.

All Creatures Great and Shrivelly

Kirk is excited about seeing Jimmy Savile while on walkies with the dogs. Fiz is exhausted and tells him she doesn't want to see him feeding the newly born puppies, opting instead for sleep. Kirk comes in later to tell her the puppies' mother has rejected them and he needs to keep them warm or they'll die. He's in tears. Fiz wakes up and takes two of the little shrivelly things to the sweet, healing, and nurturing warmth of her big boobs.

Daddy Issues

Viv heads back to London. Mike and Danny later have a heart to heart about their relationsuhip, in as much as two Englishmen can have a "heart to heart." Mike refrains from spilling the beans about their true relationship but hugs Danny and warns him not to tell anyone. Danny later pulls out his dad's scarf and start weeping a little.

More Weatherfield Women Who Walk Into Doors

Claire's got a shiner from her fight with Maddog's girlfriend. Ashley teases her, saying next she'll be on street corners, dripping in sovereign rings, shouting abuse at the police, and flicking cigarette ashes on Joshua.

Who, oh Who, Will Pull The Most? Pints, that is.

Kelly walks in and says she hears Fred's in the market for a new bartender. She tells him she has loads of experience at Rodeo Joe's, with its bucking broncos, kareoke, and foam nights. All the things Fred hates in a pub. I wonder if Rodeo Joe's is as bad as Walkabout, officially the worst place I've ever eaten in the U.K.

"Can you pull a simple pint?" he asks.

"Pints, punters. I can pull anything." she replies.

Fred says he'll think about.

Later, a breathless Sean finds Fred in the Kabin and offers his c.v. and says he'd right at home in a local hostelry, "vis a vis The Rovers" and because of his alcoholic uncle, he knows how to handle drunks. He also offers a night of his pint pulling services for free. That's the magic word for Fred so he starts later that night.

I think the addition of Sean to the bar makes for a job promotion for Anthony Cotton. It means he'll get more screen time. After all, you can go weeks without seeing the factory floor at Underworld, but people always have to go into the Rover's.

Later in the Rovers, Kelly is livid to find Sean behind the bar. He runs in the back to find Shelley sitting on the stairs. They have a weird conversation about where staff uses the loo. She acts as though she knew he was starting work there and he tells her that her facelift makes her look like Reese Witherspoon, whom Sean would most like to be stuck in an elevator with. Her, and the gardener from 'Desperate Housewives' as he would be a good conversationalist. Right.

Dr. Tim comes into the Rovers and he and Sean have a chat. Tim clears the air about the guy with whom he got into the car. Turns out he was just a mate and Tim kisses all his mates. They later make a date to meet for coffee at Sean's place. Tim asks if that is a euphemism. Sean then asks Violet for the definition of euphemism. She whispers something in his ear and he informs Tim that, indeed, it is definitely a euphemism. But for what, I ask?

Sean - 2, Kelly - 0

Do You Have Any Cabs in Burberry?

Lloyd and Les are discussing the previous night's events, admiring how Claire took care of Maddog's girlfriend. A man enters the office and Eileen chirps, "Welcome to Chav Cabs. What kind of driver would you prefer? An injured one or an uninjured one?"

Neither, it turns out, as the man delivers Tracey's "prohibited steps" order to Steve, known over here as a restraining order.

Liz enters with a box carrying an injured sparrow and hears the news. Les says the system's biased against men. He blames "Germaine Green."

Liz then goes straight over the Barlows to attempt to facilitate an understanding between the interested parties. And to shriek at Tracey.

"Put a skirt on, luv," Tracey replies. "That's obscene." She also adds that the order applies to Liz and that she's calling 999.

"Try 666," Liz says. "It's more your style."

Later, Tracey goes into the pub and sees Steve drinking with Martin and Lloyd.

"Bunny boiler, three o'clock," says Lloyd.

She tells Steve he should leave, due to the restraining order. He does, as does just about everyone else in the pub.

"You can't keep a good woman down, eh?" Tracey says.

"You can if you hold her head under the water long enough," Liz ripostes.

Eileen notices how whenever Tracey enters the pub, there are fewer people around to drink with.

Tracey says she'll drink alone as she's her own best company. She then offers a toast, to the British justice system and proceeds to have her lonely little drink all by her lonesome.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Panic on the Streets of Weatherfield - Update



So the fight of the century took place between Ashley and Maddog Maddox.

Shortly before the fight Fred finds some dumbbells for him to work out on. (Because nothing is better before a big fight than exhausting your muscles.) He carelessly puts them on a bench where they roll off right onto our Ashley's foot.

Ashley is convinced that he isn't able to fight even though Nathan tells him that the foot isn't broken. Finally Nathan starts insulting him so that Ashley jumps up and starts swinging, thus proving that Ashley can indeed fight.

So the fight begins and before we can tell who's really winning,

1) Claire and Maddock's girlfriend end up in a fight
2) Some menacing bloke starts a fight with Martin and Co.
3) Sally starts a fight with some delightful young women who are just down from Ascot.
4) Les starts a fight with Cilla and the guy she's been flirting with.

Yes, a full out brawl ensues and within in minutes the police arrive in full riot gear. Exactly, WHAT goes on in Weatherfield that the police are fully armed and ready to respond to a riot with 3 minutes? Cause I want see that storyline.

The Good News is He's Gay
Sean decides to meet our favorite vet with a bucket (boo-kay!) of flowers after work. Unfortunately, we see Tim climb into a car and give a big old smoochy to some other bloke.

Sean is distraught.

But on an upnote, Fred's looking for new bar staff and both Sean and Kelly are interested.

Just HOW Gullible is Deidre?
Liz convinces Steve to go over and talk to Tracey to try and be adult about the whole thing.

I guess 'adult' would be the wrong word here, because the minute Steve starts chatting with Tracey she starts screaming her head off calling for Deidre to come out of the house.

She claims that Steve threatened her and threatened to kidnap Amy.

Deidre believes this.

I think this is really, really stretching it.

Anyway, they go to the judge and get a court order that Steve has to stay away from both Tracey and Amy for 14 days.

Finally
There was a lot of moping and complaining on Viv's part and as a special added treat for Frankie - she hinted at moving in.

CBC Coronation Street Scheduling Update



Weekly episodes of Coronation Street will be preempted for Hockey Playoffs starting Friday, April 21st.

Don’t miss ALL NEW episodes Sunday mornings at 7:30, April 30th through June 18th.

(The above information was obtained from scroll on last night’s Corrie)

Catching Up With Bruno Langley




Manchester Evening News article about Bruno Langley (our Todd Grimshaw.)

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Are You My Daddy Update



My Three Sons
Mike is pissed that he never had an opportunity to raise Danny or be part of his life. But he is reminded that he wasn't a part of the other 2 sons lives. Penny tells him that he probably would have been a crap dad anyway.

He wants to tell Danny but both Viv and Penny tell him not to.

I'm sure he's going to anyway.

Not Without My Daughter
Steve and Tracey have their day in court about whether or not Steve is Amy's dad.

Tracey decides to take Amy with her and have the grans babysit outside, so that the judge sees how close her and Amy are. This backfires as the judge questions why she would bring a young child to such and an unfriendly environment as a courthouse.

The judge also sees the fact that Steve has been paying child support even through the hostile times as good proof that he's dad. He also sees Tracey's refusal to get a DNA test for Amy as an attempt to cover up the truth. (Her lame ass excuse is that she didn't want to put an innocent child through needles and such.)

So judgey has claimed Steve the daddy and they have to come back for dna test later.

Raging Bull
The fight is still on despite Claire's complaints.

Mr. Glacia's favorite line from the evening is when Fred says, 'He's a fit as a butcher's dog.'

Down and Out in Weatherfield and Paris
Fred's told Bev that he's had enough of Shel's nonsense and that come friday she's out of a job and an apartment.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

SPEEDY UPDATE - SERIOUS, SERIOUS SPOILER



Okay, I think you are all really itching to talk about last night's episode which was a bit of a gob smacker, so I'm going to do a quick update for you all.

I'll do this fast with out my usual yuks - just the facts ma'am, just the facts.

Amy/Steve/Tracey

Tracey is busy trying to make sure the Croppers stay on her side and testify on her behalf; she threatens them with taking Amy away.

Deidre is getting a little fed up with her and gives her hell when she is rude to Liz. Although, in typical fashion of never wanting to believe she raised a monster, Diedre maintains that there's been a 'misunderstanding' about the incident.

There's a great scene at the begining where Steve contemplates running over Tracey, but Liz pulls the key out of his ignition and he says that he wasn't *really* going to do it.

Eileen gives him some home truths about standing up to Tracey while he winges about losing all access to Amy. Then the coppers show up. Luckily, they're just there to tell him the charges against him have been dropped.

He takes the news to Tracey and informs her that now the police are going to charge her with wasting police time. He says this with one hand around her throat, mind you. - Correction, he had his hands on her shoulders. (Ta, John.)

Something's Fishy
Scooter goes for his day in court and ends up with the British version of Judge Judy.

She rants and raves, then tells Gayle that her testifying on Scooter's behalf doesn't mean anything because Gayle has such poor judgement that she married Richard Hillman.

And another victory for feminism is reached.

Scooter is found guilty and has to pay 100 squid (that's for you Pamer).

I Can't Barely Watch
The factory team manages to get Nathan to take out Joanne (of the twin set) for a pizza, telling him that he asked her out but he forgot.

The whole date is more than I can bare to watch since I think we've all had that kind of god awful date. She's really not on the same level as him but he does his best to keep up polite conversation. (What was the movie they were talking about? I missed that.)

At one point she tries to woo him with her Eurovision/British Idol audition number. Ouch, just plain ouch.

It just gets worse from there and at one point one of his female acquaintances (who's all wordly and shit) comes in and makes our poor Joanne feel even smaller. After the date Joanne goes to the Rovers and cries into her pint while Sean and Co. try to cheer her up.

Glacia winced through the whole story line.

Ashley Ali
So Fred offers to buy Dev's half of the streetcars and when Claire gets wind of it, she tells off Fred (I am sooooooooooo glad these two guys decided to bring this screaming harpie into their lives.) for interferring in her life.

Later she talks to Ashley about it and says how happy she is that he doesn't keep any secrets from her......uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh.......yeah, that's them, secret free.

But perhaps not.

Claire sees an ad for the boxing match and confronts Ashely and tells him to call it off. He says he will not (hurrah!!!). She says he will. A battle of the redheads ensues and she ends packing to go home to mother. (I am sooooooooooooo glad these two guys decided to bring this screaming harpie into their lives.)

I'll Have a Bit of Mild 'Bob' on Plain Toast
I missed some episode, but it would appear that 'Bob' did not stand up to some hooligan in the bar and this has lessened him in the eyes of Liz.

She complains that 'Our Jim' would have never put up with some ruffian.

(Glacia remembers the scene of imprisoned Jim, begging for his wife not to leave him because of his temper and shakes her head.)

Anyway, 'Bob' asks her why she's being standoffish and she says that she's not sure how she feels because she's used to a more 'assertive' man.

Now, I didn't see the oringal incident so I can't comment on 'Bob's' machoness, but if he stays with her after she says that, then I do have question his backbone. Plus, Bev is ready, willing and able to step up to plate if Liz lets 'Bob' go.

BIG SHOCKER OF THE EVENING

I'll make this short.

Danny's mom comes to town after the funeral of Danny's dad. She's a royal pain in the butt, but what are you going to do?

She's getting a bit cozy with Mike and Frankie warns Penny that mom hadn't been the most faithful of wives and she might want to keep an eye on her and Mike.

Mom and Mike end up taking a long stroll along the river banks and she asks him to take care of Danny. Mike does a whole spiel about how he will but that a nephew isn't the same as a son.

Wait for it.

At which point mom says, 'But Mike, Danny IS your son.'

Now, I had read ahead and saw this coming up, but like John I thought Mike knew about it already and was having a senior's moment. But it turns out that even he didn't know the truth.

Monday, April 17, 2006

episode alert

Tonight we get a double dosage of Corrie - starting at 7 (or whenever your regular time is.)

Warning: Viewing This Clip May Cause Blindness. Be Sure to Rinse Eyes with Bleach Immediately Afterward



Adam Rickett, formerly our Nick, naked in a booth as hot female scientists flip switches and look all scientific.

And he wants to be a Conservative Member of Parliament? Yeah, that seems about right.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Thursday, April 13, 2006

UPDATEY EASTER BUNNIES!!!



Here, take this bag you didn't pack yourself and go to the airport
I'm begining to think Steve is an idiot of some sort.

Seriously.

Tracey, out of the blue, lets you take Amy for the day and then suggest that you go to the airport with her - and while you're at it, take this bag. And you don't think something's up, Stevo?

OF COURSE SOMETHING'S UP!!!

Tracey spends the afternoon with Blanche in the Barlow's sitting room, pretending that Amy is just in the backyard and after a few moments she goes out to check on her, drops her tea cup and screams, 'Amy!!!'.

Oh my god, I think Steve's kidnap Amy!

Personally, I can't wait to find out what was in the nappy bag.

I'm Feeling a Bit Tyred.
Nathan has turned the training of Ashely up a notch and put a tyre around his neck that he needs to hold while he does his laps

Just when you thought Fred had no competition as Weahterfield's version of the Michelin Man.

Anyway, Ashely was looking pretty beat up and trying to hide it from Claire.

What Stinks?
There's some odd smell at the factory - and in between the Danny/Adam feud - everyone keeps mentioning it.

I'm at a lost. Any ideas what it could be?

True Confessions
Okay - I just realized that I wasn't really paying attention to last night's episode. It's the party race I'm worried about, can't concentrate.

Feel free to add other bits.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Goths vs. Chavs is the new Mods vs. Rockers













Some Carlisle teenagers are recovering after being pelted by stones:

A GROUP of teenage girls were pelted with stones by a gang of male youths in Workington because of the way they dressed.

Police described the attack as a “hate crime”, saying the girls were targeted because they were “goths” – music fans who usually dress in black and wear dark make-up.

The attack, which left one girl in need of hospital treatment, happened yesterday afternoon outside the Moorclose Spar shop on Westfield Drive.

The gang of around five to seven young men swore at the girls and called them “dirty goths”.

They threw stones at the group and followed them as they headed away from the shops towards West View Walk.

One of the girls went to A&E after being struck by a stone in the attack, which took place between 2.45pm and 3.30pm.

When her father reported the attack to police he said that his daughter and her friends are goths and believed this was the reason for the assault.

A police spokesman confirmed that the attack is being investigated as a hate crime.

Update April 11.

















At the request of Jacqueline, who is currently in the process of putting her name forward for the Liberal Party leadership, I have agreed to do today's update.

By the way, anyone notice the second Fathers-4-Justice reference last night? Some time ago, Steve mentioned men climbing buildings dressed as Batman, just to be with their children. Last night, Tracey made a mention as well. While I know they're well known in the U.K. I wonder if the writers have some kind of bias toward them. Or maybe they're just being topical.

Who's Your Daddy? No, Seriously, Who the Hell is Your Father?

Steve asks Tracy to reconsider going to court over Amy, saying he doesn't want his past being dug up in front of a judge. And, he adds, if they get into Tracey's, he never see Amy until Christmas 2010. Five years on Corrie? That's, like, 30 years, you and me. Tracy sneers back 'If you're looking for sympathy you'd better get yourself a dictionary. You'll find it somewhere between No and Way!'

Roy and Hayley go out to dinner at the local pizza joint. Roy is wearing a dashing ascot. He tells Hayley the reason he asked her out was to discuss helping Steve get declared as Amy's true father. Hayley is angry, saying if they give up all claim to her, she'll never see Venice and see what's good in the world as Tracey will never show her those things.

Tracey later speaks with her solicitor who tells her without a blood test, she'll have a hard time getting Steve's access to his daughter blocked.
Tracey has a talk with Deirdre about Steve's access to Amy. Deirdre tells Amy he's likely a far better parent than most people in Weatherfield and maybe she should drop her plans to keep him away from his daughter. Tracey sees Steve in his cab (he sets the meter just prior to their conversation. heh.) and tells him he can see Amy whenever he likes. In fact, why doesn't he come by tomorrow and spend the day with her?

Is Tracey going soft or is it just another dastardly Traceyesque ruse?

Bella Sinead! Sean's Fallen Down the Well!

Kirk takes over his kennelling empire with the help of Fiz who realises that her free ride comes with the price of living in a kind of dump and occasionally sitting in a bowl of dog food. I think she has more of Cilla in her than she admits.

Sean has come to take Buster, I mean Bella Sinead, for walkies with Dr. Tim. Kirk warns him to never, under any circumstances, to take him of the leash. Ever. He means it. While walking with Dr. Tim, the vet tells Sean to just let Buster, I mean Bella Sinead, run free. Sean complies and Buster runs out of sight.

Sean runs back to Kirk to tell him what happens but he already knows. Buster ran home and his owners are furious and won't be paying any kennel fees. Kirk's first management crisis. Guess who's pocket that's coming out of?

One Million Pound Property Challenge

Dev is with Steve discussing the difficulties of trying to find a house he intends to call "Devita:" Dev & Sunita. Get it? Unfortunately, without the sale of his share of Streetcars, buying their dream home is impossible (or they could, you know, just get something they can afford. Just a thought). Steve reminds Dev that he doesn't have the money. Lloyd, however, drops a hint that his ex-wife won the lotto some years back and gave him a big share when they split (huh? why?), which he has been letting sit in his bank all this time. That's some discipline but, hey, maybe he's a man of simple needs. All Dave Lister ever wanted was a curry and a lager, some ska music, and a date with Kristine Kochanski. He tells Dev they should have a talk.

And so it begins...

Danny is trying to pass off his hotel getaways with Leanne in the expense ledger as some kind of mix up from the hotel. Adam is having trouble with it as it may look weird to the accountants. Danny tells him to shut up and put it through the system. Danny, there's a reason so many financial institutions keep their offices in Scotland. They don't miss much.

Mike and Alma, I mean Penny, have returned to the office from holiday. Mike is surprised to see Sally working there. She says she's putting in some overtime at the office on a Saturday. He wasn't even aware she was hired. Mike may be thinking back to ten years ago when she was nice and worked there.

At home later on, Danny complains to Frankie about Mike coming straight from the airport to the business.

'Why?' he asks. 'Because he can't let go, the dithering old codger! And as for 'Donald Where's Your Troosers', I can't understand a flippin' word he says half the time but I daren't say anything or he'll have me up for being racist!'

There's some saying about pots and kettles but I forget what it was. Alma?

Frankie tells him not to worry about and he and Mike will simply never see eye to eye.

'No,' replies Danny. 'Not unless he starts wearing platforms.'

Afterward, Mike gives Adam his gift from on holiday. Adam finds a woman's beach wrap or something. Mike says he must have switched the tags. They laugh it off.

I know they planted the seeds for this storyline a few months ago but I think last night was the true beginning of this particular journey for Mike. This is going to be a tough one to watch.

So Long, Farewell, Aufwiedersehen, Goodbye



Okay, who would you say had the best exit?

Some that I can think of:

1. Karen's wistful look around the street
2. Ciaran's duffelbag shuffle
3. Warren's camera phone taking farewell
4. From back a bit, Peter's K.O. goodbye from Shel
5. Maya's crash and burn and get arrested adios

or my favorite.

6. Todd's Bronski Beat back of the bus off-to-make-millions-as-the-new-crew-member of 'How Not to Decorate' sad aufweidersehen.

Sitcom Cilla



According to The Sun, Wendi Peters (our Cilla Brown) wants to star in a sitcom if she ever leaves Coronation Street.

(May I suggest to Ms. Peters the addition of a Yana-style sidekick played by our Jacqueline?)

Wendi said: "I hope I don’t leave the show for a long time but when I do there’s so much I want to do. It’s my dream to star in a sitcom."

She admitted she went to pieces when she met her comedy heroine last week.

"I met my heroine Dawn French the other week. I felt really scared about going over to her because I thought I’d look like a mad fan. But before I had the chance she came up to me and told me how much she loved Coronation Street. I couldn’t believe it."

Attention Star Trek Fans



Your comments in John’s 'Corrie Sighting' posting on Monday reminded me that some of you are that special breed of Corrie fans / Star Trek fans.

You Star Trek fans may want to visit my blog Infomaniac today to see a posting entitled ‘Star Trek Fans: Look At His Butt!’

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Ciaran: Parting Shot













From U2's 'The Sweetest Thing' video:

Update in the Jar-o



Adios, Amigo!

So last night saw Ciaren(or is it Cieran, Cieren, Ceiran, Kiaran, Kieren, Karen, Sade?) leave the show forever. Glacia is sad to see him go, but not sad to see his name go.

He made his rounds explaining that there must be more to life than this and he hasn't really laughed in a long time.

It was all very maudlin oirish, complete with Thin Lizzy playing in the background of the Weatherfield arms.

His goodbyes include:

1. Sunita who told him that she will always be his friend.

2. Fred who gave a carpe diem speech and mentioned something about being a 'looker' in his hay day?

No, Fred...you merely looked more like Homer Simpson

3. Bev who was good right up to the point where she got drunk and made a move on his goodies. Bev be creepy.

4. Shel who merely looked out the window.

Farewell Cierenandhalfjadada... we'll miss you. But not your name.

Nathan
Looks freakin' HOT without a shirt. Sizzle!!!

Dogtown
Maria is pleading with Kirkeh to sell up the kennels, but he is sticking to his guns.

Cilla decides to double his rent at which point Fizz steps in to suggest that her and Kirkeh move into the kennels and live rent free. Which she then uses to taunt Maria.

BTW - is it me or is Fizz slimming down?

Cat Fight
Jason is allergic to the new cat.

Joyride
Cilla and Yana decided to sneak off with Blanche's scooter and sneak around to the Barlows to do so.

I hear someone singing 'It's Raining Men' and I'm wondering if it's Sean or Norris. My god no... it's Deidre.

Dear Writers of Coronation Street, if you ever have Deidre sing again, I will never watch your show again.

Anyway, they plan to do some shopping in the Manchester version of hte Eaton Centre and hide stolen products in the scooter. The idea being that no one will stop an invalid.

This is until Yana sees a security guard who knows her and a chase ensues all to the tune of that great Norwegian masterpiece 'In the Hall of the Mountain King'. Keep in mind that we're talking about a TROLL King - which may or may not be an intentional slag on Cilla.

The chase carries on until we see Cilla and the scooter go head first into the drink. I expect a lawsuit from Cilla against Deidre for not putting up a warning sign about the danger of the scooter.

I wish Mr. Glacia would get a job producing Corrie so that I can get to be a character like Yana...but he won't.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Corrie Sighting

"Let my people go!"

Linus Roache, son of William Roache (our Ken Barlow), will be appearing tonight in the TV movie 'The Ten Commandments.' He plays Aaron, brother of Moses. Linus appeared on Corrie, as a child, playing Peter Barlow, son of Ken. He last appeared in 'Batman Begins' as Thomas Wayne, father of Bruce.

Worf, son of Mogh was played by Michael Dorn.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Pamerpalooza


Quick report because I have to work on a documentation deadline today.

But Friday saw 3 Corrie Canucks at the Banknote in Toronto: Glacia, one of our lurking readers whom I'll identify as the 'other' MJ, and Pamer, Pamer, Pamer.

I am pleased to report that Pamer rocks even more in real life and was way taller than I thought he might be.

I tried to take a pic, but it was too dark for my camera phone. He promises, however, to send us a pic for the site.

I also did get promise of more Pamer visits so there will be other opportunities to meet the man from Sudbury.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Update: Friday, April 7. Easy Rider, More Barfights, and The Return of Yana


Liz and Bev are walking down the street discussing Liz's Bob. Liz has decided all they do and everything about him is "nice." If that's not the kiss of relationship death, I don't know what is. Deirdre pokes her head out the door and Liz shoots her the dirty look.

Bev isn't listening much, as she's keeping an eye out for Charlie, whom she sees. She quickly scuttles past while he smirks to himself.

Meanwhile Kirk is walking about 20 dogs with Fiz when he sees Maria. He tells her if she has half of the kennel business, she can walk half the dogs. Maria, still ashamed of her humble and unglamourous kennel maid past, declines. She still thinks he should buy her half of the business but also thinks he lacks ambition. I dunno. Owning your own business is a fairly admirable quality and it was obviously successful enough for the Sutherlands to have enough to move to Cyprus. If someone handed me half of that, I'd be thrilled. Also, like Kirkeh, I like dogs.

Maria and Tyrone later discuss the situation with Kevin who advises Maria to work on the parent she's closest to.

In the Rovers, Violet and Ciaran are wondering when Betty will show up but as Ciaran puts it, "Cheerful Charlie" is on the warpath and Betty may be keeping a low profile. Turns out, Betty has been up half the night with the kitten Sean gave her. Unlike aged cats, kittens are a handful and Betty, being 117 years old, is a little worn out. I kid. I love Betty.

Later Sean agrees to take the kitten off her and find it a proper home. Betty tells Sean he's a right nice bloke who'll make some lass a great husband. Betty's gaydar switched off sometime during the Liberace period.

Charlie, meanwhile, is continuing his role as bar landlord by bossing Ciaran around about getting stock. Charlie, to the best of my knowledge, isn't even on the payroll. Why do they tolerate this? It's not like I go to Mrs. Shatnerian's job when she's off sick and start doing her job. Charlie then says to Violet in his no-sense-of-personal-space way, that if she enjoys her job, she should remember who her friends are. She asks him what that is supposed to mean.

"Whatever you want it to," he replies. He's talking about sex, right? Sex with Violet?

Over at the Weatherfield Arms, home of literary icon David Beckham in cracalature, Liz is still talking about Bob. Bev says she wishes Charlie had hit her last night so Shelley would finally see what kind of man he is. They both agree that Shelley would never believe her so Bev decides to find someone she will believe. Bev later goes to the cop shop.

In the back alley, Chesney has found Blanche's ride (complete with the giant "L" Learner's Permit sticker) where Deirdre is struggling to move Amy's buggy past it. Chesney helps her and asks if he can ride the scooter. Deidre says it isn't fit to drive as it doesn't turn left. Chesney later enlists the help of Nathan, who agrees to fix it for the price of a free supper from Wong's. Sophie comes by and Easy Rider takes his old lady for a spin. Les is almost run over by them as Ken spots them coming down the alley. He accuses Les of stealing Blanche's scooter for the kids to play on. He takes Les to task for being a bad influence and expresses disappointment in Sophie for hanging with the badass Battersby-Brown gang. Chesney explains what happened and Les, quite rightly, demands an apology to which Ken begrudgingly concedes. That'll teach him to be so self-righteous.

Back at the Rover's, Nathan warns Tyrone that if Maria does become successful in her quest to own a hair salon, she'll have no time for Tyrone. Meanwhile, a female police officer asks to speak with Charlie. She informs him of the allegations being made against him but, as he does, he tells her it's Bev who's nuts. Later, Bev sees him walking the constable back to her car, telling her to go find some real criminals. She giggles and they proceed to have sex in the back of her squad car. Okay, no. But it was clear the constable was swooning just a little bit.

Later the police station, Constable I Heart Charlie tells Bev she's heard about Bev's stealing Charlie's invoices and tells her she could have her arrested for burglary right there.

Later at the Rover's Les, Cilla, and Yana come in and Les orders "a pint and two sweet whites for two sweet ladies." Yana spies Ciaran and says if he plays his cards right, he could have her number. "And mine!" adds Cilla.

Charlie meanwhile is trying to itimidate Ciaran by telling him he should have stood up for Charlie when he was talking to the police constable. He says Shelley would have ended up a basket case if he ever went to jail. Ciaran says he should look in a mirror before pointing any fingers. I think Charlie looks in a mirror quite a bit, actually, when he's not smacking his lips and doing that coke-nose snort thing.

Maria's parents come into the pub and tell her that if she doesn't want her half of the kennels, they're going to Kirk. Maria cries. Fiz is delighted.

At The Clock, Liz and Bob are on a date when Ken and Deirdre come in. The men decide they should all sit together. The women aren't sure but Bob reminds Liz about that Christmas Day during the First World War when the Germans and British declared a truce and played football. Deirdre and Liz make up and Ken celebrates, ordering another bottle of wine by snapping his fingers at a waiter. I. hate. it. when. people. do. that.

Back at the Rovers, Charlie is pushing Ciaran's buttons about Bev. After a short discussion of recent events and a thorough airing of their views, Ciaran grabs Charlie and shoves him up against the bar.

Shelley sees them and, like Jacqueline, starts fanning herself screams "Ciaran, leave him!"

Ciaran says he could kill him for what he's done to her, cutting her off from everyone who loves her. Ciaran calls him a big bully, playing games with grown women.

Shelley tells him he has it wrong, that Charlie has done everything for love. Ciaran retorts that it's a funny kind of love, making her scared to come out of her bedroom and so messed up that he makes her think she needs plastic surgery.

Ciaran tells Shelley now is her chance to break free. Shelley asks why would she do that.

"To save yer loife, yeh stewpid woman!" Ciaran's accent has thickened considerably at this point.
Shelley says her life is here, with Charlie. She kicks Ciaran out of the bar. Charlie smirks. Violet is horrified.

And very crowded pub just got an awesome show.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Pamerpalooza Reminder



Just a reminder that the Pamerpalooza/Corrie Canuck Pub Night/Ping fest will be:

Bank Note (Bathurst and King)
663 King St. West

Friday, April 7, 7:30pm

416) 947-0404

Pamer won't bet here until 9:30, but I will be there at 7:30.

Can only stay until about 10 or 11 because I have a run in the morning.

See ya there!

Well... (Update)



Shel's back!

What the hell is going on with Shel and Charlie. This relationship has become so complicated and grey that I don't know what Shel's game is.

At the beginning of the episode she we see her and Charlie at the back of the Rovers where he's trying to get her to go 'out' and she's trying to go back 'in'. Ciaren and Bev come to the rescue and Ciaren puts up a man wall between Charlie and Shel whilst Bev tries to comfort Shel.

This gives Shel an opportunity to go running into the house, while Charlie tries to explain that Shel had plastic surgery and that's why her eyes look so bad. (Kudos on the makeup department, btw.)

(And don't worry, dear readers, luckily during the 'Charlie and Ciaren going chest to chest in a little macho war' scene Glacia as prepared with a little spritzer bottle of cold water, to prevent any lose of consciousness.)

Shell goes tearing up the stairs and brings down the receipt from the plastic surgeons for Bev and Ciaren to see, after which she marches into the pub and tells all and sundry that she had some surgery and she has nothing to be ashamed of.

'Did you really think I'd let some man push me around. Don't you remember me punching Peter Barlow?' was the 'quote du jour'.

Then she physically pushes Bev out the door.

Oh, it gets better....

Later, Charlie starts packing their bags for Scotland and she tells him that she's still not going to Scotland at which point Charlie threatens to 'rip every stitch out of her eyelids' (ew.). Shel then PUSHES HIM AWAY and tells him not to talk to her like that.

So basically she's telling him to leave and he does - and Glacia is thinking, okay, now he realizes that he has no more control over her, he's lost interest.

But as he leaves, she asks him to come back.

10 minutes later, he does - stating that if he left, Bev would win.

Come back, go away, come back, go away...and Charlie does.

So there it is my pets, what do you make of all of this?

Poisonous relationship, not so black and white.

Do you think Shel's a victim who just reached her breaking point or do you think she is getting control over the relationship anyway she knows how. He certainly seems to be running around in circles with her.

The kicker is that afterwards, he makes a visit to Bev and starts playing some really weird mind games with her.

Bev had said earlier to Deidre that she'd like Charlie to try and hit her. (Mr.Glacia - 'Oh! I can see where this is going!)

So when Charlie comes over, Bev kind of does this 'Oh, look I stole your papers, doesn't that make you want to hit me?' game. Charlie catches on right away.

He first scares her by saying he was angry enough to hit a woman and then goes 'Boo!' in her face which causes her to jump. (Glacia jumps and laughs (for some sick reason).) Then he lets her know that he's on to her game and he has no intention of hitting her although, she does want the attention and that he knows he could still 'have' her if he wanted. With that he forces a kiss on her.

Soooo, now that Shel seems unwilling to play along with his bullying, it would seem that he's turned his attention on Bev, n'est pas?

Very good writing, very complex plot and I have no idea what to make of it.

In other news.
The vet accepted Sean's offer to join him on a dog walk with his dog Bella-Sinead. (and for some reason Sean wonders if the vet has picked up on the fact that Sean might perhaps be gay.)

Now he just needs to get a dog, and Kirk is willing to lend him 'Buster' from the kennel.

Speaking of which Kirk is not selling the kennel.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Blind Update



The New Jan Brady
Stepford Shel comes home from the hospital sporting a new pair of sunglasses and a cap that makes her look like the lovechild of Jackie O. and Steven Spielberg. She does this weird bit about how good she will look once the bruising has gone down, ‘The new me!’ she proclaims.

Unfortunately, the old Jan Brady needs to somehow get upstairs to her room without anyone seeing her. She doesn’t want to leave the car even after Charlie makes sure the ‘coast’ is clear.

He ends up dragging her from the car to the indoors. Ciaren sees this and is more than convinced that Charlie is beating Shel and that the reason she went to the hospital is because she needed to be treated for Charlie induced injuries.

Once back up the stairs, Shel decides that she wants to stay in the bedroom for a couple of weeks and that she won’t go with Charlie to Scotland. Charlie has a fit and convinces her to go on the trip, but when she goes down the stairs, she runs into ‘people’ and goes fleeing back up the stairs.

Charlie goes up and forces her to come down the stairs and get into the car for their trip. It gets kind of weird and Jerry Springerish as she fights to go back in the house.

Note to Shel, you might really want to consider Scotland.



I’m just saying.

You Did What With My Missus?
One of Charlie’s clients comes to visit and says to Charlie that he received a phone call from some woman who pretended to be from a Customer Satisfaction survey.

He told Charlie that the woman suggested that Charlie had slept with his wife. Charlie refutes that and says that he didn’t lay a hand of Mr.’s wife.

Mr. Client says that if he had he’d have him arrested because his wife has been dead for 18 months.

Glacia laughs hardily at this.

‘What did the woman sound like?’ Charlie asks

‘Middle aged and drunk.’ Offers up Mr. Client.

I’d suggest who the culprit is, but quite frankly I’m baffled who that could be.

My God, if only I could take a stab at it! Maybe it was Carol.

Anyway, Charlie’s pissed, but decides to put it all on whole because he’s picking Shel upfrom the hospital after her plastic surgery and then they’re OFF to Scotland. Hurrah!

I Wrote a Poem
Danny and Leanne having naked tea
K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

We get a whole scene of nekked Leanne and Danny sharing breakfast in bed. Leanne asks him if he loves Frankie. Danny says he does love her, more than any woman before.

‘So why you doing this, then?’ she asks. Danny responds with some weird analogy between skiing and humping your son’s girlfriend. I don’t get it.

101 Damnations
Jack and Vera have convinced Maria to keep her share of the kennels and sell it for a nice profit.

Maria tells Kirkeh and Fizz who seem positively gobsmacked.

Meanwhile back at Chez Battersby, Cilla is loving Kirkeh’s new look…monied.

Don’t Be Koi
Scooter and Sarah are Weatherfield’s Two as they enjoy their new freedom. But at what cost?

Sarah pleaded guilty and Scooter got suspended from his job for using the skip.

Gayle is not loving it, but seems to be placated by Scooter when he explains his moral reasoning behind stealing the fish in the first place. ‘Evil triumphs when good men do nothing.’

Scooter’s starting to win me over.

Speaking of Scooters
Blanche has a new one thanks to Deidre. She has one of those people moving electronic scooters to match her Polish hip.

Of course what she needs now is the plastic flag waving from the back of the vehicle, a million bumper stickers, a wee stuffed animal for the front and a honky honk horn on the side.

Come on Kev! Pimp her ride!

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Whoop there it is...

Prediction award goes to Mr. John who called the Leanne 'give away' correctly.

Weatherfield 90210 Update


My least favorite aspect of Corrie was in full focus last night.

The teens! The teens! The teens!!!!

One Day My Son, All These Milkbones Will be Yours
Maria, Kir-keh and mates were invited up the the Sutherland's dog kennel where mom and dad had some exciting news.

They're retiring and going off to Cyprus to live and now the kennel belongs to Maria and Kir-keh!

Everyone is happy except for Maria who starts in about how no one takes her hairstyling career seriously and that for all she cares, Kir-keh could have the business.

Personally, I'd take the kennel over the salon...you get to deal with a better class of bitches.

Glacia wipes the tears from her eyes as she continues to 'crack-herself-up'.

Dear Shel
Shut up.

For the love of god, shut the #$%$#%$# up.

Stepford Shel now wonders if she should do the surgery or not...what if she comes out worse looking. She flip flopped on this issue about a million times in Charlie's lorry.

Okay, I know he's already got the bad guy image, but seriously, if I had been him I would have reached over her, opened the passenger's door and push her out. Then drive off to the airport and catch the first plane to Toronto to the waiting arms of a very, very secure Glacia.

Anyway, Stepford Shel is at the hospital having her face do

But Seriously, He's a Bastard
Charlie's pursuit of Violet took a turn for the very, very nasty last night.

She decided to come back to work and spent the time avoiding Charlie. Finally, after closing time he started in on her and it got to the point where I was afraid he might rape her.

She broke free from him and went running down the street in tears, where she met Sean. She is beating herself up about it because she feels that because of her flirting she’s put both Jason’s and her jobs on the line.

Koi Gevald!
Scooter and Sarah made their way to some sort of garden/park where fish are kept. When they tried to release the fish into the pond, the park manager assumed that they were stealing fish from the pond and called the police.

Sarah got arrested as she actually had her hands in the pond and Scooter is being taken away for questioning.

The Chinless Wonder is going to love this.

Cause What Gal Doesn’t Love Tickets to An AA Meeting?
Candice has competition in Jamie for biggest dumbass on the street.

Jamie promised Leanne a day out and about - for which she turned down Danny’s offer of a hotel in Nottingham. Once she was in the car he informed her that they were going to see Carol and go with her to her first AA meeting.

It’s like a dream come true, innit, Leanne?

Leanne is more than a little pissed and even more so when Carol opens the door drunk. Her excuse is that they were late.

Leanne, “By 3 minutes? What did you do? Pour it down a funnel?’ (Which is Glacia’s preferred way of alcohol consumption.)

When they get back, Danny still has the Nottingham offer on the table. I forget…did she take it or no?

Next on the Biography Channel, Warren Baldwin
Bear with me because I have no idea what that kid says half the time.

Warren invites Candice to join him for a drink, where she assumes he will tell her that all is forgiven.

Oh sure, he’s forgiving her alright and more importantly he won’t forget her. In fact she will be a very key footnote in the biography he’s writing about his life in order to get publicity. The woman he loved and left.

The last we see is Warren being thrown in a cab but not before snapping a cell phone pic of the conveniently placed Candice walking down the street.

Hmmm, a biography….The Secret Diary of Warren Mole?

Ladies and Gentlemen: Pamer Presents…

…The Corrie Canuck: Daily News from the Corrie Canuck Gang.

Our Pamer created this magazine cover!

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Mr. Glacia Speaks

With regards to Liz and her animal print top.

'Is Zebra hooking now?'

Updates and figs


The Best Time To Call People is When You're Drunk
Bev took the customer papers that she swiped from Charlie's office and call the people listed on it.

Why?

To tell them that Charlie probably overcharged them.

However, in style becoming Glacia, she decided to drink a half bottle of Stoly beforehand.

'You don't know me but.... Oh yeah, he's been saying that he slept with your wife too!'
Bev!!! Why get some poor woman into trouble?

I can see it now, 'Hello, Mr. Glacia, you don't know me, but....Yes, Charlie Stubbs slept with your wife!'

What's New Pussycat?
Okay, this was actually really sad.

Sean took Betty's pussy 'Marmaduke' to the vets where he found out that poor Marmaduke was far too ill. So Sean let the vet put Betty's pussy down.

The worse part was when Sean was freaking out about it at the shop and in the back ground you could hear Franz Ferdinand's 'Take Me Out'. Why didn't they just play the Killers instead?

Anyway, the final scene of the episode had Betty visiting Marmaduke one last time and crying.

Okay - Glacia's mom was a dead ringer for Betty...so me no like it when Betty cries.

'Look! Violet's in Bloom!'
Or not.

Jason gets it into his head that Violet's 'illness' is really morning sickness. For a moment I thought, 'Oh my god, how is she going to explain this when the baby comes out with stubble, a smirk and toolbelt around its waist.' Then I remembered that Charlie and her didn't do it.

Anyway, she set Jason right that she is indeed NOT pregnant. I just don't feel that Violet and Jason have much longer together.

Sailor Liz
Liz has booked a boat trip for her and 'Bob' as she's found out that he as an interest in all things nautical.

My favorite scene of last night's episode was seeing her getting ready for the date by going to the salon and getting set up in those coffee canister sized curlers. Very, very Valley of the Dolls.

Trading Up
Candice (who's being a very large bitch) started spouting off how she broke up with Warren to go after bigger and better fish. She explained that it's like trading up a car or house.

This was all well and good, until later on the street when Frankie gives her a piece of her mind for dumping Warren. She told Candice that all Warren can do is cry since they broke up.

Candice seemed genuinely surprised that Warren was hurt - which makes me suspect that she's even stupider than we suspected.

At that very moment a wailing sound comes from the Baldwin house and a bouncing Warren comes running out shouting that he's been 'traded up' to a better soccer club, in Spain.

Oh-oh Candice. Seems like your Saturn just became a Ferrari.

Ola, luv.

Oh for @#$#$%$%'s Sake, Roy!!!
He sold his patent to the environmental hotelier for the price of a picture frame.

The Scottish person in side me couldn't stop screaming.

What Makes England Great
Quote from Cilla, 'Most folk don't care what they eat as long it's drenched in chips and mushy peas.'

The French person in me needed CPR.

DOUBLE BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION: Bill Tarmey and Sean Wilson





BILL TARMEY (our Jack Duckworth)
Born: April 4, 1941 in Manchester







SEAN WILSON (our Martin Platt)
Born: April 4, 1965 in Ashton-under-Lyne, Cheshire


Happy birthday, fellas!

Monday, April 03, 2006

"Hello, I'm Shobna Gulati, stay tuned for 'Canada-Russia '72' -- FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! LET ME GO HOME!!!"













Just how long did the CBC keep Shobna Gulati in that studio doing promos? She's going to be introducing the Liberal Leadership Convention in November at this rate.

lazy glacia

ummmm...

okay....

I'll be better with the updates.

Feeling Motivated Yet?


By the way, I've been making these posters with this cool toy.

Update March 31


Correction: In my last update, I had incorrectly written that Candithe's dismissal of Warren happened in the March 30 episode. It had, in fact, happened during the March 31 edition. We regret the error.

He's The One They Call Dr. Feelgood

The twins arrive chez Grimshaw with their friend's pet rabbit which Sean plans to take to Dr. Oirish Boy so he can examine him. The rabbit, I mean. Violet, meanwhile, is feeling hungover and remorseful about That Terrible, Sexy Thing She Almost Did and asks Sean to call in sick to work on her behalf. But Sean takes no notice as he's alarmed by the albino rabbit's "devil eyes."

Sean later takes Sugarlumps on "two trams and a bendy-bus" to the vet's where he demands to see Dr. Oirish Boy as it's an emergency. But Oirish Boy is off today. Vet stalking: denied!

He later meets Betty in the Rover's and starts quoting Bette Midler:

"Did you ever know that you're my hero. You're everything I wish I could be."

He then offers to take her cat, Marmaduke, into the vet's for his shots.

No Parking on The Dance Floor

Scooter has parked his skip full of Koi Carp right in the middle of Platt Compound, flattening a fence in the process. Gail, apparently having slept through this the night before, is unamused.

Stop Me If You Think That You've Heard This One Before

Shelley is planning her trip the plastic surgeon and plans to celebrate needlessly altering her face by redecorating her cell bedroom.

"Just as long as I recognise you," Charlie says. And as long as whatever she's doing, he can still try to seduce her bar staff.

House of Barlow

Blanche is moaning to Ken and Deirdre about how she doesn't want to be a bother, all the while taking full advantage of their pity by passive-agressively demanding better breakfasts. I think she's channeling my late Nana: "Oh, don't mind me. Oh, it's so cold. Oh, I'm out of cigarettes. Oh, I hate Italians." Did I mention Nana was a bigot?

All the News That's Fit to Print

Roy is unhappy with the Weatherfield Gazette reporter, even after Hayley warned him. Feeling subject to ridicule, Roy decides to take down the invention. Later an elderly man in a bow-tie comes in and demands to see the invention in action. Wary at first, Roy refuses, but then realises that Andrew Audenshaw is an anorak someone who pays attention to detail, just like him. Audenshaw offers to pay the patent for use in his eco-friendly chain of hotels. Roy thinks that would be an appropriate use for his grandfather's invention.

While it seems like Roy's endeavours are paying off, and it would be nice for Roy and Hayley to get some extra cash, I have a feeling this isn't going to end well.

The Girl Can't Help It

Violet, having pulled a sickie, walks past the Rovers (that was wise) where she runs into Charlie and Shelley, and then Jason. It is awkward.

Later, Shelley draws lines on her face, showing where they plan to operate.

Remember how Shelley used to be a cool character?

The Stubbs Conspiracy

Bev goes rooting around Charlie's office looking for...taxes? Payments from Liberal friendly ad agencies? His Hummel figurine collection? She avoids be spotted by Jason, grabs some papers, possibly documented proof that she, too, "let" Charlie, and leaves.

And then all that stuff about Candithe yelling at Warren happened.

The Corrie Canuck Motivational Poster Series

Create-A-Caption



Caption this photo of our Liz McDonald.

(click on photo to enlarge)

Roy Cropper – Jazz Hands

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Update March 30


Hope nobody minds if I pop in to recap the Thursday episode:



Mother of the Year

Deidre takes Tracey to task over her plan to lie about Amy's paternity. Tracey begins to cry, saying, "He was using me to get to Amy." Tracey then acquaints herself with the colours of both the pot and kettle.

Deidre later meets Liz in the Rovers where they discuss the latest developments, make up, and then just as quickly start rowing again.

Meanwhile, Steve is bending Bev's ear about the whole deal. Bev tells him he's right to feel this way.

Ever notice how the Rovers is where you go for a few drinks and some laughs with your friends but if you want to get blind drunk and pick up, it's the Weatherfield Arms?

Weatherfield's Next Top Model

At Viva Diva, Julia the fashionista, tells Candice what everyone in the universe already knows: that she'll never be a model. The reasons given are threefold:

  1. She dresses like she "just climbed out of a parked car twenty pounds better off."
  2. Her bum is non-existent.
  3. Warren loves her but not as much as she loves herself.
She then tells Candice that she's thick and while she is pretty, she's nothing special. I think I'd like to see more of Julia.

Later in the Rovers, Candice learns Warren's no longer a footballer which makes him nothing and more importantly, makes her a non-footballer's wife. She then projects her own failures onto him, calling him a loser and annoucing the end of their relationship.

Warren says something like "Candithe, no!" but his lisp, cockney accent and blubbering make it impossible.

Frontiers of Construction

A journalist from the Gazette has come into Roy's Rolls to see his machine for a story. Roy quickly reminds him that the invention is his grandfather's and he merely a tool in the endeavour. The reporter makes a note that Roy is a tool.

If You Can't Be With the One You Love (Get the One You're With Drunk and Make a Pass at Her)

Charlie and Shelley are sitting in her bed. Shelley can't wait to get the nip/tuck and Charlie can't wait to play Stern Landlady and the Unruly Customer. Shelley just can't and Charlie storms out leaving Shelley begs after him, "Charlie, come back! I'll let you!"

Too late, Shel, as Charlie has decided to have a bonding/boozing session with Violet. They kiss in the way two drunk people kiss when they're five minutes away from unprotected sex. To that end, Charlie tells Violet he'll be right back and runs off to find condoms (I'm speculating here). Violet collects herself enough to stop herself from making a big mistake. Charlie spies her heading for the exit.

"Charlie," she says. "I can't."

"You sound just like that slag upstairs," he replies.

Just when you thought that storyline couldn't get any uglier.

The Great Escape

Scooter and Sarah liberate Mrs. Maloney's sick carp but are noticed by just about everyone on the street. Scooter, next time try a less conspicuous getaway vehicle.

Introducing Corrie Fan Joan McClement





In this exclusive Corrie Canuck interview, we meet Coronation Street fan extraordinaire, Joan McClement.

Be sure to visit Joan’s Coronation Street Tour Page!

CC: When did you start watching Coronation Street?

JOAN: I started watching when it when it first came to Canada. It was the early 1960's and the show was still in black and white. I worked and so sometimes I missed episodes but with the help of videos and Daran Little, I think I have filled in most of the blanks.

CC: Excuse me, Joan. Did you say DARAN LITTLE?! (MJ’s favourite Corrie writer.)

JOAN: Daran and I first met in 1992 when I went on my first tour. We became close friends and still are today. He even put a reference to me in one of his episodes. My nickname on the Internet is Posey and I have been known as that. Just prior to the episodes when Sarah makes the mistake of going to meet someone she met online, they had an episode when the boys are showing Sarah how the chat lines work. One of the boys says sommat like, “Oh look Posey is in chat.” The other one replied. “Oh that is Posey from Canada -she is always on the line.” I must have had a dozen emails telling me about it before I even saw it. Daran and I laughed about it -he never told me ahead of time.



Joan McClement and Daran Little


CC: Who’s your favourite character?

JOAN: I think Norris is my favourite character at the moment. I love him with Blanche and Rita. Funny funny funny.

CC: You started a Coronation Street fan club?


JOAN: I started the fan club called the Barmcakes back in about 1993. I had gone on my first World of Coronation Street tour in 1992 and had made some great friends. We decided we would like to keep in touch and so I invited about 11 people to my apartment as thus started the Barmcakes. Just recently we asked Deb Cyr to become President and she accepted.

Also I became sort of the center for all groups wanting to start a group and worked with Daran on guidelines for fan clubs. Mostly to have fun but not to use star faces or Street images to make money. We had quite a few groups across Canada. This has diminished since and I think it is because more people are enjoying pings.


Trip to Blackpool

CC: You’re the tour escort for the “World of Coronation Street Tour.” Tell us about the tour.

JOAN: We stay in Manchester near Granada studios. We always make Blackpool part of our trip as it is so typical of middle class holiday trips. It’s loud, brassy and lots of fun.

We also visit some of the venues that we’ve previously seen on the show. One favourite was the church where so many things happened. It was the scene of mad granny Brenda holding Bethany in the tower; Steve and Karen's disastrous wedding; and the burial of Sarah and Todd's little baby. As we walked up toward the church, the bells were playing and the pastor asked the organist to play for us. We all stood with our hymn books, singing. He also told us about the events that had happened and described how some of them were staged.

Of course the studio trip is always a favourite. We’ve been privileged to watch some rehearsals in The Rovers and on the Street. Last year we went into the Knicker factory for the first time and it’s very realistic. David Nugent told us that they try to make it as authentic as possible so that when the actors come it is really like coming into a proper factory.

We always have an afternoon tea at the Victoria and Albert across the road from the studio and a guest drops in. Also we have an expert's evening - where if we’re lucky, we get some spoilers.

On the last evening we have our gala dinner with one of our favourite stars. Last year it was Antony Cotton (our Sean Tully.) The year before, Sue Nicholls (our Audrey Roberts) and Mark Eden (Corrie’s former villain Allan Bradley.) They are the nicest couple and we had a lot of fun with them.

And there’s much more! Join us and find out!


Joan and David Neilson (our Roy Cropper)

CC: How did you become the tour escort?

JOAN: The tour was first envisioned by Katherine and Michael Reynolds along with Kemptville Travel. Years ago I took over as escort when Katherine and Michael moved to England. I assist with the booking of the stars for our special events. Daran and I always worked closely on this. He always was our expert at dinner and took us on the tour of the studio. He was a wealth of information to everyone and we miss him.



In the Kabin: Sally, Daran, Joan, Hayley

CC: What are some of the highlights of your tours?

JOAN: I think one of the best memories was the day that Daran was showing us through the studio and Betty and Blanche came out to see us. Many of the other stars also came out but these two darlings were just fantastic.


Blanche and Joan

I always enjoy seeing William Roache (our Ken Barlow) - he is just the best representative for the show. He always seems to come out to see us at the studio visit and we have had him as a guest at our gala dinner. He is a wonderful conversationalist.



Daran Little and William Roache (our Ken Barlow) in the studio

Daran arranged to take us out on the "Street" at night. We were having our dinner at The Rovers with Daran and it was raining. He was worried we might have to cancel but luckily it stopped raining and we went out onto the Street. Daran had arranged for all the lights to be on in the homes and Rovers. It looked fantastic and Daran gave us a house-by-house run down on who lived there. He amazed me as I couldn't even remember the year I moved into my own house. This was his idea and the first time anyone had seen the Street at night.

There are so many memorable moments that I could go on forever.



The Street at night

CC: When’s the next tour?

JOAN: September 14, 2006. It’s a 10-day trip and we’ll stay at the Jurys Inn in Manchester.

For more information, please call me at (905) 275-4693 or email me at joan.mcclement@sympatico.ca

CC: Is there anything else you’d like to mention before we wrap up?

JOAN: Daran Little has always been my big support on and off the tour, but since he left the studio, Helen Nugent has been wonderful. It is difficult when I am trying to contact the stars for dinners etc. and she has been so helpful and I am so grateful to her.

I would also say that I have left out so many of the other stars who have been fantastic. There hasn't been one star that I have met that I haven't come away thinking that they are the best ever.

CC: Thank you, Joan!



Daran and Joan