Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Update for Episode # 6253 December 11, 2006

The Scottish Plan

Ashley and Claire continue their plan of going to the Hebridean Islands to escape the evil plot of Matt Ramsden and his wife whose name escapes me at the moment. They decide upon Mull*, (I presume the Island of Mull) because they went on holiday there and it seemed quite lovely. Bev inquires as to the medical amenities that might be found on the isolated isle of their kilted kinsmen. This cause a few furrowed brows. What about when it is time for Claire to have her wee bairn? (I did some research in this regard and it seems in the Hebrides the shepherd who is the least drunk at the time is given responsibility for delivering the baby) In the face of these daunting problems the ginger haired couple decide to stay in Weatherfield amidst their kith and kin and face their problems head on.

* Perhaps they should seek refuge on Iona, off the West coast of Mull, which was a safe hiding place for 6th century monks, as outlined in the excellent book by Thomas Cahill, How the Irish Saved Civilization.

The Old Dog

Mike is in the kitchen looking for bread everywhere except in the breadbox. Leanne, wearing nothing but a towel, shows him where to find the bread and then saunters off to have a shower. Mike watches her wander away with a glint in his eye. Hoping to confirm his suspicions, Mike calls up one of his golfing buddies and asks him 'Oi Lenny, did we go pulling last night? I've got a lovely bird here in the shower but I can't remember what her name is.'

A while later Mike tries to get a leg over on Leanne, but she stops him saying 'Oi, I'm your son's girlfriend!' (I know, the irony is indeed rich) Mike feels sheepish at his mistake and makes her promise not to tell his son - Adam that is.

The Daft Couple

Sarah has a new plan to test Jason's fidelity. In short, he has to ignore Violet completely. Of course he has to practice this so off to The Rovers they go. She who must be obeyed sends young Grimshaw off to the bar to get in their drinks, without acknowledging Violet. He manages this the first round without any problems. The second round he gets some stick from Sean about his behaviour. Violet calls him pathetic. Of course Sarah goes to the loo and returns at that exact moment Violet is talking to Jason, starts screeching at him about how he is a nasty two timing creep, pours his pint over his head (the man has no pride) and then storms out of the pub. Audrey, aghast at this performance is left to utter 'she was sweet once upon a time.'

The Happy Family

Tracey and the human sneer* continue their conversation about his upcoming state of fatherhood. The prince of darkness* is curious about how this might have happened. Was Tracey not on the pill? Is he actually the father? Was this a deliberate ploy on her part? The mother of the year protests her innocence and fidelity, she just forgot to take her pill once or twice because she had a lot on her mind. (scheming mostly is my guess) Tracey wants them to get married and be a proper family, so Amy can have a little brother or sister. The spawn of Satan* tells her that is not going to happen to him anytime soon, he is going for a drink at the local.

Tracey goes looking for the re-incarnation of Hitler* a while later at The Rovers. She asks Shel and Bev if they have seen Mephistopheles*. They smirk and comment that he must be up to his old tricks. Like the two stood behind the bar snipes Tracey.

She does find Beelzebub* later at the builder's yard and they have a heart to heart chat. The embodiment of evil* thinks that an abortion is in the best interest of the child. He suggest that maybe one day they might have a child together and that will bring them closer. Tracey agrees to this plan, as long as it doesn't take place in some grotty hospital. In the end they embrace, both with a look of triumph on their faces. I wonder who will win out in this ultimate clash of evil.

* I am referring to Charlie Stubbs, local builder and all-round pillock.


Debbie said...

"isolated isle of their kilted kinsmen."

You know I work for a magazine (the best magazine in the country according to two separate groupings of our peers - this year and last) and this line is as good - if not better - than anything we have ever printed. Good job!

The Big Seester said...


Now, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but I get the impression you don't like Charlie?

Excellent update, BTW.

Debbie, after last night's episode, you must concur that Sarah Lou is beyond the normal teenaged angst about her relationship with Jayshun (that's how she says it when she's pouting, and boy does it grate on my nerves!). Sharah (which is how Jayshun says her name when he's being all adorable and let's make up...ick!) has lost touch with reality. Honestly.

The irony of Leanne and Mike's little interlude was hilarious! And, of course, Mike's right in thinking she'd be with the younger generation, since Danny's old enough to be her father.

Sounds like Ashley and Clare aren't leaving after all. Wow...and it only took how many people telling them it was a daft idea?

Tracy and Charlie: I think that:
a. she's not PG
b. she's going to pocket his $$
c. she's going to fake a post-abortion depression to try to get him to relent on Amy living with them

Does ANYONE else remember when she said that she and Charlie were just in it for laughs, that she didn't want a relationship? (This was at Christmas, when they first got together.) Or am I imagining it?

Michigander Fan

The Big Seester said...

On a totally unrelated note, I have been watching the CBC "Corrie Secrets" DVDs as they are being filtered to me 1 at a time from Canada (zip.ca) and over the weekend I got to see the "Weddings, Deaths and Inlaws/Outlaws" DVD. They featured the death of Janice's boyfriend Dennis. It was cool to see this mystery person.

They also showed the Richard Hillman storyline.

Cool DVDs...

Michigander Fan

The Big Seester said...

Oh, and one more thing - Audrey has a bone to pick woth Sarah? I'm sorry. I like Audrey. Really. But here's the thing. Debbie and I may be debating Sarah Lou's relationship behavior - but it is AT BEST grossly immature.

But as far as her work performance goes, there can be no debate. She's a waste of space. She's collecting a paycheck for nothing.

Why should Audrey be upset because Sarah didn't do the inventory? Since when has Sarah done any of the work at the salon? Why would her not doing the inventory surprise Audrey?

It's all about consistency. Sarah has consistently been a complete slacker on the job, and Audrey has consistently let her get away with it.

So in my mind, this is Audrey's fault. She knew Sarah was untrustworthy. She worries about firing her, but boy, I would have by now...

Michigander Fan

Rob Swizzle said...

Me & Mrs Swizzle just got back from a week away and wanted to say "Thanks" for all the great updates. Corrie Canuck allows us to enjoy a vacation without fretting over what we're missing on the Street!


papasmurf said...

Many thanks debbie, the big seester, rob swizzle!

What magazine do you work for debbie? Any opportunity for freelance writers? Smurfette needs some new shoes and the corrie canuck gig doesn't pay so well.

Jacqueline said...

This is a lie.

Corrie Canuck pays all its writers a 6 figure salary, 5 weeks holiday, plus paid sabaticals every other year, full medical benefits (including braces and breast lifts) and all the Walker's Crisps they can eat.

Debbie said...

Oh I think Sarah has totally gone beyond the acceptable level of teenage stupidity. But, she is also a total nutter. In fact, considering what she has had to deal with, a dead boyfriend, a gay ex-boyfriend, her baby dying and a total waker at home (currently undecided on who is more of a wanker, David or Gayle) she should actually be a bit more mature with all that life experience. Alas, she is not.

Pamer said...

papa, you forgot Mephistopheles

papasmurf said...

Noted and edited pamer. Good eye!

Carla said...

I think Matt Ramsden's wife's name is Sylvia.

I feel the same way about Charlie. He and Tracy are a fine pair, whom will hurt whom more?

When will Bev and Fred get married?

The Big Seester said...


Do you have to go to the Corrie set on your sabbatical?

Michigander Fan

papasmurf said...

If you notice Jacqueline is the one jet setting off to Europe on 'sabbatical' while this poor schmoe is stuck up in Northern Ontario, where going to Tim Hortons on the weekend is our idea of a sabbatical.