Thursday, December 07, 2006

Update - December 6, 2006 - An Offer You Can Refuse Edition

Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli

Fizz is thinking about taking kickboxing classes at the local community college. Maria spots them and bothers Kirk about his attire, saying it won't local professional if he goes to the bank looking like that. Kirk logically points out that he's a professional dog handler.

Maria takes matters into her own hands and takes Kirk off to the salon for a hosing down and a bit of manscaping. Fizz meanwhile starts feeding Kirk lines to use at the bank, including "Diversify or die!"

At the bank, the manager asks why he would take money from a good business, the dog kennel, and put it into a risky one like a salon. After all, dog kennels are specialised and his in particular makes a nice profit. Most new businesses fail and salons are ten a penny, which is British for "a dime a dozen."

Kirk clumsily tries to throw out some of the lines Fizz fed to him.

"We have to diversify or you die!" Kirk says. "That's the message I was asked to give you."

The bank manager suddenly looks afraid and asks if Kirk is threatening him. Given his shiny silver suit and purple shirt, Kirk does have a look of the gangster about him, albeit a dimwitted one. Kirk assures the manager he couldn't punch his way out of a paper bag. It's Fizz who is the aggressive one.

In the Rover's, Maria is telling Violet, who's wearing a most fetching red and white striped blouse that complements her new hairstyle in a most attractive way, all about her plans for the new salon. She has every detail worked out: the ambiance, the decor, the uniforms.

No details about a business plan or anything. Seriously, do either Kirk or Maria even know how to work Excel?

Kirk arrives dejected. He tells Maria the bank turned him down. He says he tried his best but Maria says that her idea of best and his must be two different things.

Fizz meanwhile is angry that her kickboxing class has been cancelled and replaced with a belly dancing class. Kirk mishears this as "ballet dancing."

And I would walk 500 miles..

Claire and Ashley are talking about Matt Ramsden. Ashley is still taking things out on Claire but she things they should at least talk and not let things fester. Claire asks him to come home to dinner.

At the butcher's Ashley is angrily chopping meat and Fred tells him it's too thick and to stop acting like a turd.

"Whose side are you on?" Ashley asks.

"JOSHUA'S OF COURSE," Fred replies, adding that his grandson has picked up that something is wrong around home. "HE'D HAVE TO BE DEAF, DUMB, AND BLIND NOT TO!"

Just then the phone rings. It's th'hospickle! Claire's been admitted with high blood pressure and Ashley dashes off.

At the hospital, Claire is hooked up to a heart monitor. She says that Ashley has lost the fight in him and Claire's trying to fend off the Ramsdens all by herself. They need to stay together on this and keep their feet on the ground. Her sudden hospicklisation was a warning.

Ashley decides that the best thing to do is to run away to Scotland (Canada's too expensive, apparently). They decide they're going to leave the day after Joshua's birthday.


At Mike's flat, the doctor has called and wants to make appointment for Mike's surgery results. Danny sets one up for later in the day and leaves Mike in the care of Leanne.

Later, Mike is semi-shaving and looking at a bunch of coins in a jar. He thinks Leanne has been stealing from it. Leanne comes out to help him with the shaving and protecting his coin jar, he spills some water all over her dry-clean only slacks. She goes to change and Mike, in his pajamas, goes out the door.

Mike turns up at the factory and brings Sean into his office with an offer of a glass of scotch, asking him for the phone number of the girl with the long hair. Not knowing what to do about Mike, the employees call Jamie for help (Joanne has his number).

Later, Danny is trying to remind Mike of the power of attorney he signed over to him the day before. This is news to Jamie who quickly catches on that it's all about Danny getting control of the factory and its profits. Jamie takes Mike to the cafe for a coffee.

There, Mike flirts with Vera, who gives him one of Jack's shirts. She says it's not much but at least he won't look like ...

"A reject from 'Bedknobs and Broomsticks?'" Danny asks.

On their way out, Mike insists on driving to the doctor's. When they get there, the doctor, who looks like Ana Marie Cox, tells him the bad news: they believe it's Alzheimer's Disease. While it's not curable, it is treatable but he he will die with it, but not of it.

Further, if he wishes to drive, he needs to advise the motor board and his insurer. Mike throws his keys on the table.

"There, cut me legs off, why don't you?!"


Jacqueline said...

I know that logic and common sense don't make for very good story lines, but the Peacocks are driving me MAD.

1. Call the police when the mad doctor and wife start breaking into your back yard and picking up your child.

2. Call your solicitor and find out what rights the mad doctor and wife really have to your son. I suspect that full custody is not on the table after 4 years of neglect.

The Big Seester said...


I know. They are really cheesing me off right now. Ashley has behaved like a total wanker, and then, when his lunatic behavior puts Clare into the hospital, he decides the best thing to do is run away (which I fear could mean a kidnapping storyline wherein Matt Ramsden hornswaggles the cops and/or a PI into hunting them down). And Clare is right back to, "Whatever you say Ashley." How about, "You're an idiot, Ashley, let's call a lawyer." A paper trail showing that the Ramsdens have behaved inappropriately would be a GOOD THING in court.

I also positively hate Dr. & Mrs. Matt on sight, and I'm not kidding. His face on screen is making MY blood pressure rise. This is a horrible thing to say, but he LOOKS like he is a selfish jerk. I know we can't actually tell criminal tendencies by whether earlobes are attached or not, and we no longer check the shape of heads (what was that called again - phrenology?) but some people just have "friendly faces" or "intelliigent faces." Well he has a "selfish jerk face."

So I have revealed myself to be extremely prejudicial about these matters. But it's like "The Whiners" from SNL (waaaaay back in the day - Bill Murray and Gilda Radner, remember?) it doesn't matter what they said, the way they talked was enough to convince you that it wasn't important. Well, he could be an absolute saint, but he sure doesn't look like one.

Also, OK, Joshua just turned 4. That's old enough to comprehend Dr. Matt shouting "He's MY SON!" all over the place. That can't be good for his mental health! (Wait - he and Amy could be a major screwed up teen item in about 10 years!)

Michigander Fan

The Big Seester said...

Non-Peacock Related Thoughts:

1. Kirk and the Banker cracked me right up! The concept was a little annoying at first - Maria's one of those characters I don't have much of an opinion of, beyond that she seemed to really take Tyrone for granted, but the "Fizz and Maria tag teaming Kirk" thing was mildly irritating. Then he got to the bank and things really picked up.

2. I don't think that Mike's Alzheimers is to blame for him not trusting Leanne around his coin jar. I think that makes him smarter than Danny.

3. All the same the storyline is still sad, and did a good job reminding us how difficult Alzheimers patients can be.

4. I don't think I have ever seen Bedknobs and Broomsticks, although I'm not sure how I could have missed it.

5. Anyone else notice that the director for the last several episodes has been Rob Rohrer? Say it three times fast, and then thank God you're not Barbara Walters...

Michigander Fan

howdi said...

The Mike Baldwin Altzheimer story line is very well done. It is very true to life.

But the writers are doing a poor job of the Ramsdon vs Peacock story. Ditto the previous comments about why not call the police or a lawyer. It is not credible and very annoying.

missusmac said...

I'm with you on that Ramsden/Peacock storyline. I mean, c'mon, Fred and Ashley have money, Fred would have to know even a business solicitor who could direct them to a family law solicitor, etc.

They keep asking each other what the law is, but why isn't anyone actually finding out? I hear Ken has that new fangled thing called the Internet, and a laptop too! I bet he'd even look up stuff for them...

OK, that's off my chest. Phew!

Karen said...

The Peacock story: Matt keeps threatening Ashley with "court" and solictors. I'd love to see them get a court ordered DNA test and have it show that Ashley is actually the father not Matt. Didn't they say that Ashley couldn't be the father of Joshua because of whatever it was that had put it in the hospital? Not necessarily the stay in the hospital itself? Doctors are always getting the due dates wrong. Maxine could have been pregnant before hooking up with Matt. It's obvious that he can have kids - he's knocked up Claire. Unless of course, she too slept with Matt (he did show up around the same time as she announced it)...