Wednesday, December 13, 2006
The Burt Bacharach Update
A Health Farm Is Not a Home
Mike is at home pulling out all his Shirly Bassey and Dusty Springfield LP’s (Note to some of our younger readers, LP’s were very flat pancakes created sometime after the Crimean war. These pancakes could be placed on phonographs to listen to music such as ‘Jimmy Cracked Corn’ and ‘Ta-Ra-Ra-Boom Dee-ay’). He’s also going over his old photos and when Leanne sees one of Deidre and Mike cozy back in the 70’s, she decides to call Deidre to see if she can give her a break for the afternoon.
Because Deidre has nothing better to do than babysit the grandchild, she agrees to come over just as soon as all the seniors in the Barlow household rearrange their schedule to enable Tracey’s bad behavior.
Armed with bottle of Mike’s favorite whiskey, Deidre and her mod belt make their way over for a visit. Luckily Mike recognizes her and invites her in for a drink. Deidre accepts but suggests that they put away all the clothes that he has thrown around the flat.
They have a few drinks, reminisce over the photos taken at Rita and Len’s party and to make it even more nostalgic, Mike gets angry at the mention of Ken’s name. Then he promises to take her to Spain the minute he’s gotten rid of his cold and asks her to dance with him.
And Deidre cries.
When Danny gets back home, he talks to Mike about going to a ‘Health Farm’ in order to recuperate. Mike responds by talking about Bet Lynch and the Silver Jubilee party. He then quotes his grandmother, ‘You sometimes have to wait until sunset to realize what a beautiful day it’s been.’
Danny is pissed at Leanne for leaving Mike alone to put the bins out, but when she cries about how hard it is to take care of him, Danny apologizes to her.
As much as I dislike Leanne, I’m so on board with her on this issue. Mike needs professional help.
One Less Caravan Bell To Answer
Maria, Deidre and Audrey have a long discussion on Audrey’s imminent retirement and Audrey seems to be wavering. Especially given the fact that Keith is dreaming of spending their retirement caravanning and fishing.
(Seriously, Keith and Audrey haven’t a snowball’s chance in Arizona. Caravanning? Even I’m cringing.)
It’s too much for Audrey and she decides that the salon is where she wants to be and that she is not going to sell up.
Pissed –off Maria.
What’s New Pussycat
There’s talk of Bev marrying Fred. Wait, what? What the HELL did I miss in France?
Tracey who’s been practicing her ‘sad’ face for many years uses it to elicit enough sympathy from Charlie that he gives her money for an abortion. He offers to go with her, but she says it’s better if she braved this on her own.
Then she goes shopping for new shoes with the cashola.
That was sooooooooooo sweet.
Moely spots her coming out of the shoe store and when Tracey expresses concern about Charlie finding out about the new shoes, she offers advice about putting them in a Walmart box, cause men just don’t know the difference. (Moley has obviously never met Mr. Glacia.)
Back at the flat, Tracey is in her flannels ‘resting’ on the couch when Charlie comes home. She even looks slightly shocked that he went to the Rovers before coming home, but bravely says it’s okay.
She excuses herself to the bedroom for a lie down and skulks away with more sad faces. The minute the door is closed, she’s trying on the shoes, leaning back on the bed, kicking her heels and cackling. She then gets on the horn with Amy (who seems to have a HUGE vocabulary on the phone) about how she’s going to buy her a whole whack of toys.
Oh come on Tracey, how much do you care about this kid? You didn’t even notice that someone replaced her with another child.
The Psycho Look of Love
Sarah is continuing to ignore Jason while Violet is viewing him as a whole new level of idiot.
Meanwhile, because she is insane, Sarah goes into the Rovers and makes sure that Violet can hear when she announces that Jason texted that he loves her. Seeing that this doesn’t phase Violet, Sarah then marches over to the bar and tells Violet, ‘It’s not working, you know.’
V’s response, ‘What? Your brain?’ Glacia has a hearty chuckle over her Cuba Libre.
Violet then tells Sarah how Jason asked for a bit of ‘afternoon delight’ a few weeks back and when she refused, proposed to her. Then it all becomes clear to Sarah, that her relationship with Jason may not be a very healthy or mature. She decides that she might want to take some time out for herself. She makes a vow to forget men for now and focus on her life and what’s best for her daughter. She further decides to make best use of the support her mother is offering by going back to school and working towards becoming a dental hygenist. She can now see that only once she’s a fully independent woman with something to offer outside of sex can she then attract the kind of man who will be loving, supportive and mature enough to take care of her needs completely and maybe suggest she lose the rabbit fur.
Oh I’m just goofing. She dumped another beer over Jason’s head and told him that he has been ‘double dumped’.