Saturday, December 30, 2006

Why is this woman smiling?

There are 270,000 reasons. Anne Kirkbride, who plays Deirdre Hunt Langton Barlow Rachid Barlow has been given a pay rise this week to the tune of £270,000, overtaking her co-stars Bill Roache and Barbara Knox who play Ken Barlow and Rita Sullivan, respectively. It also makes her the highest paid member of the cast. The salary is for a 14 month period.

Just a note that while that the story I linked to does not contain any spoilers, other than that Deirdre isn't going anywhere, there are related links on the side which will contain spoilers, so be careful if you don't want to know any upcoming plots.

What do you think? Are the actors overpaid or is it fair pay, given the ad revenue the show brings in?

Friday Update: How To Grieve

Leanne bitches that Jamie had no right to blow up the way he did. Danny jumps to Jamie’s defense, saying that everyone has their own way of grieving.

Dierdre’s way is to look at old pictures and bawl her eyes out. Ken's way is to take cover at the Rover's and the Kabin.

Jamie’s way is to hang with Adam at the Rovers, drinking pints and sharing guilt. Adam feels he should have come home sooner, should have been there for his dad. Jamie reassures Adam that Mike loved him deeply.

Danny’s way is to be mean to the factory girls. When Sally and Fiz suggest a minute of silence to remember Mike, Danny snaps that a minute of productivity would be more appropriate.

Later at the Rovers, he tells Bev that the hospital thinks Mike died of a heart attack caused by the pneumonia and that in a way, the quick death was a blessing. Jamie and Adam don’t agree.

Leanne’s way of grieving is to ransack all of Mike’s belongings looking for… well, whatever she can get her hands on. About all she finds are a nice pen and a whole lot of paperwork. And then, tucked into an atlas is Mike’s will, the real will. It’s in Spanish at first but Leanne manages to decipher the second page. Everything has been left to Adam.

And life goes on:

Molly wants to get it on with Tyrone, but Tyrone is as skittish as a deer facing a pair of rubenesque headlights. He throws lame excuses at her as he runs out the door.

Molly assumes the problem is that Maria was slim and beautiful. Vera points out that Tyrone dumped Maria and assures Molly that he’s just being a gentleman. Sweet thought, but Molly doesn’t look convinced.

Vera orders Jack to have a word with Tyrone. Surprisingly, Jack agrees. He says it’s probably not about Maria, because if you put a steak before a man one day and a sausage before him the next, he’ll still tuck into the sausage. Jack’s had both, afterall. Vera asks which one she would be. “Prime Scottish fillet,” he replies. Good answer, Jack.

Norris’ way of keeping Rita out of his business is to imply she’s too dumb to understand computers. He wants her to leave him alone to email, er, ‘suppliers’.

Rita is, of course, not stupid and she bullies Ken into helping her find out what Norris is up to. Despite Ken's protestations, Rita finds link to an online dating site, to which Norris has added a rather embellished write up of himself. Things like tolerant, owns his own store, has two employees, and so on. Rita prepares to set a trap....

Liz breaks it to Vernon that while she appreciates the grand gesture and definitely wants to live with him, it wasn’t exactly the flat she would have chosen. At the Rovers, Bev wants to have a talk. But Liz assures Bev she’s going into this with her eyes open.

Janice is back and she has new hair. Toyah apparently has a new job and a new man, which is more than Janice can say for herself (her words, not mine).

Jo practically throws the purse back at Kelly, calling Becky ‘a right nutter’. Kelly is understandably concerned.

Friday, December 29, 2006


CBC will be airing a special on Mike Baldwin on January 1 at 7:30 pm (but check your local listings to be sure)

Brace Yourself Update

Okay puppets, you need to go get yourself a drink for this one….a bit of crystal meth wouldn’t hurt either if you got it.

Last night Daran Little was at the helm, writing the script for one of the most important Corrie episodes to come along in awhile.

The show opens with Mike still in the hospital and waking up confused and not knowing where he is. Jamie is at his side, but Mike seems to think Jamie is the doctor and wants to know why he’s there.

Emily pops in and tells Jamie that she’ll sit with Mike while he goes home for a shower and a change of clothes. She sits by Mike’s bed and comforts him in his confusion – even when he mistakes her for his mom and asks where his dad is.

After Emily leaves, Mike demands to be released from the hospital in order to run his business. There’s a discussion between him and the nurse and she tells him to get back to bed because he is not well. Mike complies but the minute she leaves the room, he’s out of the room and the hospital wandering back to Corrie Street.

When Danny is told by the hospital that Mike is missing, he throws a fit and tells Nurse Nancy that he wants to talk to someone in charge. She starts in about how she is in charge and he reminds her that she was the one that lost his dad.

Uh, YEAH…I don’t even think I’d be talking to her, I’d be screaming for the highest administrative person they have on staff. Danny was actually a lot more restrained than I would be in that situation.

Meanwhile, Jamie’s talking to a 12 year old cop who asks if there’s anything distinguishing about Mike that he can add to the description. Jamie says, ‘Yeah, he’s in his PAJAMAS!’

Mike makes it back to the street and is standing in the rain and the cold when Ken sees him and tries to get him back to the Barlows. Mike is in tears because his keys don’t work to the factory and that he wants to go back to work.

Before Ken can get him inside, Mike collapses in Ken’s arms where he starts talking about denim and Alma. Suddenly he recognizes Ken and asks where Deidre is; he then adds that he has a confession to make, but Ken tells him he knows already.

Mike tells Ken how Deidre is going to leave Ken and for him and bring Tracey along. Then he says, ‘You’re finished Barlow. Deidre loves me, she’s mine.’

And those are the last words of Mike Baldwin.


February 16, 1942 - July 25, 2005

Side note: It goes without saying that Mike will be very much missed on the street, especially as one of the stronger characters the show has ever had. However, I’d like to take the opportunity to raise a e-toast to Johnny Briggs who did such a great job of playing Mike for almost 30 years.

Cheers for bringing us such a great character!

Aftermath and Baldwin Family Values

Mike’s parting shot (as it were) of Corrie was the long camera pull back of the street as the ambulance takes him away, leaving the Barlows and Danny standing on the street.

Frankie finally leaves her flat after the ambulance leaves and asks what happened. ???? It’s a small street, how could she NOT hear the ambulance? In fact, why is it that the entire g.d. neighbourhood wasn’t out on the street while the emergency crew was there. It seems a long way from the old black and white days where the slightest raised voice would draw an audience of 140,000.

Aaaaaaaaaaaanyway, Danny tells Frankie about Mike and asks her to call Jamie at the hospital because he feels it would be better coming from her; that Jamie wouldn’t want to hear bad news from him. Frankie grumbles that it would be easier on Danny, not Jamie.

Back at the Barlows, Danny is obviously looking for some guidance and asks Ken what he should do next with Mike, etal. He then asks Ken what Mike said to him before he died. Ken spews forth the Deidre comment which causes Deidre to start chain smoking and crying.

Danny takes his leave and goes off to tell Penny and then head over to the pub to tell folks there. Frankie comes into the pub and tells Danny that Jamie won’t leave the Mike at the hospital and that Danny needs to go get him. Danny says that he doesn’t think Jamie’s going to come home with him at which point Frankie calls Danny ‘pathetic’.

(I’m actually feeling bad for Danny at this point … you don’t know what to do immediately after a death so I think it’s unfair to tell him he’s not dealing with it correctly. Also, Jamie’s told Danny again and again to stay away from him.)

THEN Danny calls Leanne who comes in guns a blazing giving Danny shit for making sure she was the last one to know.

(Now I’m REALLY feeling bad for Danny and slip back on my ‘I Hate Leanne’ ballcap.)

Adam also shows up at the Rovers, at which point Leanne starts in about how he’s come snooping around for the inheritance. (Glacia puts on her matching “I Hate Leanne’ glow in the dark twinkle earrings.)

The only thing Adam will be inheriting seems to be Victoria Beckham’s tan and Jamie’s tragic haircut. (But we’ll forgive you dear Adam because you’re so naturally Scottish.)Danny and Adam manage to be civil to each other and both seem to respect the other’s need to grieve.

Penny meanwhile is being consoled by Fred as she relives how Mike didn’t recognizer her and called her names when he was sick. Fred reminds her that Mike wasn’t in his right mind and to not bother too much about what he said.

The final conflict is Jamie finally gets to the Rovers with the envelope the hospital gave him of Mike’s possessions. He spills the contents out on the table in front of Danny and Leanne and tells them they might as well take all of Mike, aaaaaaaaaaaaand he calls the vultures.

Oh yeah, in other news.
Kelly and Jessie are making friends and this is pissing off Becky to no end. When Kelly buys a purse for Jessie, Becky loses her mind. She waits until she sees Jess on the street alone and threatens her for hanging with Kelly.

But How Can a Cheap Cantonese Tattoo Compete with My Big Golden L Necklace?
Liz is getting increasingly jealous of the time Vern and Michelle spend together. She whines to Bev about it and becomes concerned that she’s turning into Jim. ‘ He was completely irrational, if I was friendly with someone, he’d assume that I was sleeping with him.’

Glacia, takes a sip of her Harvey Wallbanger and quietly responds to the television, ‘Oh, in Jim’s defense, he probably only thought that because you were sleeping with everyone.’

Glacia then swigs back the rest and screams, ‘HOOR!’

Now, where was I? Oh yes…Liz decides to get a cab to the reheresal place to see exactly what the two of them are doing. When she gets to the streetcars, Llyod tells her that he picked both Vern and Michelle up and took them to an apartment building.

Liz gets Lloyd to drive he to the same building and goes up the apartment where she finds Vern and Michelle …..standing 4 feet away from each other.

Undeterred, Liz launches into a tirade until Vern can tell her that Michelle’s brother is an estate agent and he was helping Vern get a place that both he and Liz could live in together.

He then asks her to move in with him, which she accepts.


Thursday, December 28, 2006

Tribute to a Manchester Legend

Last night Mike made a reference to what he done with all his money - spent it on women and booze, and then squandered the rest. This is a a paraphrase of a famous quote by Manchester United and Northern Ireland great George Best, who passed away last year. When asked what he had done with all the money he had earned during his football career, he replied 'I spent a lot of my money on birds, booze and fast cars - the rest I just squandered.'

Obscure footballing reference for the day.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Double Update - Wednesday December 27, 2006

As I'm on holiday, I've taken Flamin' Nora up her offer to borrow the original updates. These are from the double episode that will air on CBC Wednesday, December 27. Enjoy the rest of your holidays.

I haven't actually seen these episodes as they're waiting for me on my PVR when I get home.

It looks like things are coming to a finale, sadly. On with the update:

originally written by Duncan Lindsay

We return exactly where we left off, Mike has turned up on Mark's doorstep in the soaking rain. He tells his son that he has lost everything to Danny and pulls a shocked Mark into a hug.

At the auditions, Liz and Vernon are particularly unimpressed by a contender (for a good reason) and Vernon unreasonably pulls a Simon Cowell on her. Liz is slightly more pleasant to her, but that doesn't stop her sharing an amused moment with Vernon afterwards!

Mike is evidently confused as to who he is speaking to and pretty soon Mark has realised that Mike believes he is Adam. Mark also asks who Danny is and Mike erratically claims that Danny is trying to poison him. Mark is reluctant to believe this accusation but Mike changes the subject and asks if he can stay at Mark's place. Mark is left with not much choice as Mike tearfully tells him that he has nowhere else to go

The Battersby Browns are on their best behaviour and have dusted off their best suits for the social worker's visit. The social worker asks Chesney how he feels about being adopted by Les and his enthusiastic reply heartens her.

Mark is still trying to get Mike to remember him. Mike is unable to recognise Maggie's name and Mark shrugs, wondering how he can make things up with Mike if he doesn't even remember what he did.

Les and Cilla put on a cheesy performance for the social worker. As Cilla discusses the lodger business man (this person being Kirk), she mentions he won't be around forever. Embracing Chesney, Les purrs that he will though

Mike is still discussing the betrayal of his two sons and angrily tells Mark that Adam stole his woman. Mark asks him if he is sure this was Adam. As soon as Linda's name is mentioned, Mike's eyes widen in recognition and he remembers who Mark is. Furious, Mike orders Mark out of his own home. Mark gets onto the phone to the Rovers and Violet tells him that she will get in touch with Jamie

Back at the land of Battersby, the social worker asks if Les has a criminal record. After 'ducking and diving' around the subject, he eventually lies to her, saying that he has none that he can recollect.

Mark goes through to check on Mike only to find that he has disappeared. He runs out of the house into the pouring rain but his dad is nowhere to be seen.

Jamie, meanwhile, is preparing to set off after him. Frankie joins him, reminding him that he will need someone to occupy Mike while he is driving.

Mike, armed with a bottle of Scotch, wanders through the pouring rain, aimlessly.

Liz jokingly suggests that she takes the stage herself if nobody is any good. Vernon latches on to this idea and tells her that they will do just that if things don't shape up.

Danny is informed of the Mike situation and is a bit miffed that he wasn't told earlier. He tells Frankie to keep him informed.

Jamie and Frankie arrive on Mark's doorstep and Jamie demands to know why he isn't searching for Mike. Mark replies that he was waiting for them. Frankie and Jamie set off and mark is left to contemplate the surreal, and possibly final, meeting he just had with his father.

Muttering to himself and soaked to the bone, a tanked Mike wanders through the park, asking himself why he has been betrayed and left all on his own. Outside the park, Jamie gets out to search and Frankie will continue to drive around looking for him.

Liz has taken to the stage and pulls off a fairly decent song. Vernon congratulates her and she looks set to be the final choice, until a young woman enters, asking if she is too late. Vernon allows her to audition and she turns out to be even better than Liz. Vernon has noticed this as well, and looks rather impressed.

Jamie finds Mike laid out on a bench, swigging back Scotch and sobbing to himself. He asks Jamie to open a tub of pills for him. Jamie hands him a pill, which he takes and spills the rest onto the ground while he isn't looking. Jamie, still unrecognized, urges Mike to fight...but it's clear that this disoriented version of Mike just wants it all to end. Mike continues to rant about how he feels betrayed by all of his sons. Jamie assures him that there are still people who care but mike brushes this off and asks for more tablets. Jamie tells him they've all gone and Mike leans against him saying that that means he will be gone soon.

Les is unnerved when the social worker tells him she will need to run a few background checks on him. As she leaves, Les and Cilla wonder if lying was such a good idea after all.

Frankie finds Jamie and Mike in the rain and Mike stirs. He is concerned that he is not dead but Jamie makes out that he never intended to kill himself in the first place. he helps Mike up and he and Frankie guide the fallen entrepreneur through the rain.


Originally written by Sue Haasler

Frankie and Jamie are discussing what's to be done with Mike. Frankie says they were lucky to find him the night before, and Jamie says he's been up all night thinking about how Mike really wanted to kill himself. They agree that they should talk to Mike's doctor. Just then Mike himself comes downstairs, coughing badly and obviously physically unwell. He says he doesn't want to see a doctor because they always tell you there's something wrong, and he hates them. He says he isn't feeling well, and sits down, coughing and trying to catch his breath.

At Mike's luxurious Quays apartment, Leanne is really pleased that she and Danny have the place back to themselves again, and wants to go out to celebrate. Danny, however, wants to go to Frankie's to get Mike back – he's worried that Mike will start talking to Jamie about the Will and the power of attorney. Leanne agrees that they have to stop that happening, but doesn't want Mike living with them again. Danny says he'll need to sort out somewhere nice for Mike to live first, and in the meantime he'll have to come back and live with them.

At the Kabin Rita is having trouble getting two words out of Norris. You'd think she'd be grateful, but no. He's quiet because he's reading the Gazette, and Rita warns him that he'd better not be looking at pets for sale because when she gets her flat back she wants it fit for human habitation.

Mike doesn't feel like eating the bacon and eggs Frankie has made for him. He's quite confused, thinking that Jamie is his son, and Frankie is Jamie's girlfriend – he advises Jamie to 'grab her.' Frankie's on her way out to work when Danny arrives to collect Mike. Mike doesn't recognise him and insists he's okay where he is. Danny and Jamie have a little argument about what's best for Mike, and Danny has to give in because it looks like Mike is going nowhere.

Liz is worried that she might have shown Vernon up in front of his band by auditioning. He says she was great and she could have had a great career if only she'd started young! Liz thinks he made the right choice in picking Michelle, but starts to feel a bit insecure when Vernon turns down her suggestion of coming with him to rehearsals. He tells her he won't be able to 'lick Michelle into shape' if his girlfriend is there. He goes out – but leaves one of his little drums behind.

Mike is looking really ill now, and when he coughs it hurts his ribs. Jamie has made an appointment for him at the health centre, but Mike is still saying he hates doctors and won't go. He says all he needs is a glass of scotch. And Alma – he thinks Alma's just popped out somewhere. He talks about his business, and says when he dies he's leaving everything to Jamie and his brother. He says he started in business by selling nylon stockings, and all the girls were mad for them. He tells Jamie not to say anything about that to Alma. 'That's what I spent my money on,' he grins. 'Girls, and drink. The rest I squandered.' He can't say any more as he starts to cough.

Liz is in the Kabin buying the Gazette, and Norris's earlier interest in it becomes clearer when he starts to ask Liz about the lonely hearts ads: are they genuine? Liz thinks they are. He asks her to translate 'wltm' ('would like to meet') and 'gsoh' which he can only conclude must be something rude. Whether he's relieved to hear that it only means 'good sense of humour' is not clear. Is Norris on the romance trail?

Frankie pops home after the lunchtime rush at the cafe to see how Mike is. He's asleep on the sofa, but Frankie is alarmed by how ill he looks. She wakes him gently and he smiles at her:'Alma. I knew you'd come back.' Then he asks her,'What's happening to me?' His face contorts in pain, and Frankie tells Jamie that they can't wait for Mike's appointment at the health centre – she's ringing an ambulance.

In t'Rovers, Liz is telling Bev, Rita and Eileen about her audition with the band. Rita mentions her days as a club singer. When Liz tells them about Michelle, Bev predicts trouble ahead, and Rita says that when she was singing she 'had to fight them off. And,' she adds with a wink,'You can't win em all! And drummers are the worst.' Liz is feeling very insecure now, and says that Vernon forgot his drum so she has an excuse to drop in on the rehearsal and keep an eye on him.

At the factory Danny is on the phone to a business associate when Sally rushes in with the news that there's an ambulance outside Frankie's house. He runs across the street in time to see Mike being loaded into an ambulance, yelling that he doesn't want to go to hospital because he hates hospitals. He reaches out to Frankie and shouts,'Alma! I love you Alma!' Frankie tells Danny that Mike was having trouble breathing. Danny blames Jamie, Jamie blames Danny, but Frankie shouts at them both to stop and they all head off to the hospital, watched by a shocked Rita.

In the Kabin, Norris is composing a lonely hearts ad: 'Sophisticated executive looking for the lady to light up his life.' Rita comes in and tells him she's just seen Mike going off in an ambulance. Norris asks if it might have been a heart attack or a stroke,'Because if it was a stroke it would be a good epitaph for his life. All his life he pulled strokes until a stroke pulled him.' Rita is not amused.

Mike is in intensive care, and Jamie and Danny are still bickering about whose fault it is. Penny arrives – Frankie called her – and asks what's the matter with Mike. 'Pneumonia,' Frankie tells her.

In the Rovers, everyone is wondering how Mike is. Ken has been trying to contact Adam but hasn't had any luck. Deirdre thinks they should ring the hospital, but Eileen says they only talk to relatives. Emily points out that Ken and Mike are kind of related, Mike being Ken's ex son-in-law. Ken thinks he'd have a hard time trying to explain that, and Emily says it just shows what a complicated life Mike has had. 'He's a very complicated man,' Deirdre says. 'Always has been.' Ken gives her a bit of a look – there's a lot of history between Ken, Deirdre and Mike.

Liz arrives at the rehearsal and isn't very cheered to see that Vernon and Michelle are getting on really well. He's pleased to see Liz, though, but then he tells her that Michelle is just the girl he's been looking for.

At the pub, Rita is telling Emily that Norris has been behaving peculiarly all day. 'Well that's more or less normal for Norris,' Emily says. Rita says she's sure Norris is up to something, and she intends to find out what. Elsewhere in the Rovers, Kelly and Becky are making the most of Danny being away from the factory and are totally drunk. Becky tells Lloyd and Kelly that she loves them both and they're the salt of t'earth, then she busts into tears because she's so happy. Deirdre and Ken are at the bar, and Deirdre says she can't help worrying about Mike. Ken tells her there's no need to apologise for it, and it's okay.

At the hospital, Penny is feeling guilty for not trying harder with Mike. Frankie doesn't think anyone could have got through to him, because he's living in his own head most of the time. She says that earlier on Mike thought she was Alma. Penny says sadly,'I can't help wishing that he thought you were me.' Jamie and Danny are looking through the glass at Mike, who is now peacefully asleep but has an oxygen mask on and is surrounded by various machines. Danny says he can't help thinking that it would be better for Mike if this was the end. 'You want him dead?' Jamie says, and Penny and Frankie look over at them. 'That would suit you nicely wouldn't it?' Jamie says. He says that Mike hated the way Danny and Leanne treated him, and couldn't wait to get away from them:'So if he dies, it's your fault, and I'll never forgive you. Never.'

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Friday Update: Adopt a Son Edition

The Bad Son Wants Him To Shave

Mike gives his soft boiled egg the evil eye while Leanne crawls around on all fours looking for the pill he knocked out of her hand. Mike’s mad that they’ve taken his business and now they’re making him go to a home. Leanne is simply at the end of her rope. Danny understands, and says he’ll see how soon the home can take him.

Later, Leanne tries to convince Mike to shave. He’s having none of it and he wants her to get all of her stuff out of the bathroom. She gets the electric razor and tells Mike that Danny wants him to have a shave. Mike flips, violently grabbing her by the collar of her dressing gown, saying Danny’s no son of his. He has a nice son. Leanne, clearly shaken, tells him to go find that so called nice son and even unlocks the door for Mike, pushing him out into the street. A few deep breaths later, she opens the door and luckily Mike’s still there. He doesn’t remember where his nice son lives. She tells him he doesn’t have to shave if he doesn’t want to and to come back in.

She goes off to have a shower and Mike searches through drawers. Then he finds what he’s looking for: a father’s day card. By the time Leanne gets out of the shower, the front door is open and Mike is gone.

At the Kabin, everyone’s talking about how awful Norris’ party was. He says it was more of a ‘soiree’ in explanation of why everyone left so early. He and Rita bicker while Eileen waits patiently for her change.

The Boy Who Wanted A Father

Cilla isn’t too keen on calling the social worker. It’s only recently the social worker has finally stopped coming around, which means things are good and why wake the tiger? Less still thinks it’s a good idea. He'd like to have Chesney as a son. Cilla is genuinely surprised that someone would want the kid if she weren’t around. She agrees they can wake the tiger, “but don’t blame me if it all goes pear-shaped.” Les worries that his criminal record might ruin everything.

Later, they frantically clean the house dressed in their conservative best (Cilla owns a suit!). Suddenly, a knock on the door. It’s the social worker, early, which Cilla says they always do to catch you unawares. The social worker makes herself at home and tells them all to relax, not to try so hard. This is just a preliminary visit.

My Mom May Be Carrying His Drum Kit, But He'll Never Be My Father

Tensions at Steve’s flat. He stirs his coffee with Vernon’s drumstick (eww) and then uses the snare kit as a coffee table. It’s his way of protesting that the dishes haven’t been done. Vernon’s late for a gig, but sure, he can stop to do the dishes. He loads Liz up with gear, sticks the keys between her teeth, and all but slaps her ass to send her off to load the van. Vernon has a bad back, after all, from the time that someone “bent a mic stand over it.” Liz orders him to load the van, the dishes can wait. Thank God, I thought she was going to cave for sure.

At the hall, Liz finds out that Vernon and the boys are auditioning for a female singer. Vernon says her opinion would be valuable. She wonders if it wouldn’t be too 'Yoko Ono'.

At the Rovers, Blanche has further words with Shelley over who is giving the free drink and who is accepting it. In other words, who is apologizing to whom. Bev steps in to smooth it over by blowing smoke up Blanche’s arse. Blanche still maintains the two drinks are for her and a friend and sure enough Rita shows up, admitting she was pretty much forced to come so that Blanche could make her point. Shelley looks irritated at Bev’s overruling.

My Long Lost Son

Mike has found his way to the railway station where he meets a salesman and tries to hook him up with a shipment of black satin knickers and bras. “I’m Mike Baldwin, everyone’s heard of me,” he repeats. The salesman, waiting for the train to Doncaster, clearly hasn’t heard of Mike Baldwin and is understandably confused by this disheveled looking man trying to sell him knickers.

Back on the street, Danny, Leanne and Jaime are freaking out, trying to find Mike. Jaime even calls Adam to warn him (nice hair, Adam!). Danny and Leanne don’t think Mike actually meant he was going to go find Adam, but Jaime heads for the railway station anyway. Too late, Mike has already gotten on the train, aided by his newfound friend.

In the next scene, Mike is wandering around in the pouring rain, presumably somewhere in the Doncaster area. He checks the father’s day card, though the address is smeared by the wet. Drenched himself, he hesitantly approaches a door. He rings the bell. A man answers it. “Dad! What are you doing here?”

Huh? Run to your computers! Mark Baldwin appears to the other son Susan Barlow had with Mike, brother to Adam. In 2000, Mark was set to be the new King of Underworld but he slept with his dad’s fiancĂ©e, Linda Sykes. It all came out at the wedding bash and Mark was banished from the empire. My fellow Corrie Canuck’ers, set me right if I’ve missed anything.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Update - December 20, 2006 - Everyday I Write the Book Edition

When Your Dreamboat Turns Out to Be a Footnote...

Violet comes out of Diggory's bakery to see Sean on the street. She asks him how his date with Chris went. Sean tells her it was wonderful. They had an excellent meal, went to a club, and then back to his flat ("More like a loft, really."). He goes on to describe Chris as an Adonis with Vernon Kay's face.

"And Peter Kay's body?" asks Violet.

Crikey O'Reilly!

(Peter Kay once played a brewery rep who took Shelley out on an ill-fated date.)

Sean later meets up with Kelly and her shadow, Becky. Kelly says she saw Sean looking a right state all by himself on the bus. Sean says he was with his new boyfriend Sean, as a matter of fact. Kelly says he looked alone when she saw him. Sean declares that he has better things to do and brushes her and her shadow off.

Later at the Rover's Shelley is doing her nails and chatting with Sean and Violet. Shelley thinks Chris sounds lovely and he could be The One for Sean. They could get married, now that it's legal for "you lot." Shelley becomes excited at the prospect of a gay wedding.

"I bet you get into huge fights over who gets to wear the dress," she says.

"You know, there's nothing like a little low level homophobia to start my day," Sean responds. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be in the corner, wearing a dress and groping all the boys. " He adds that Shelley's nail polish looks chintzy.

Later on during his shift, Jamie comes in for a pint and asks Sean about his date with Chris. Sean finally breaks down and runs out of the Rover's. Jamie follows where Sean confides that there is no Chris, that he made him up just so he wouldn't feel lonely. Jamie admits that it can't be easy, trying to find dates if you're gay. Not to mention being a supporting gay character during the family hour on TV. Sean wonders if he'll ever find twew wuv. Jamie assures him that he's a great guy, and if he were on Sean's bus, he'd sit right next to him. But he also reminds Sean that he's not on his bus.

These days I'm afraid she's not even sure if her name is Veronica

Mike is watching TV at his flat, telling Danny that he quite fancies Fern Briton, even though he doesn't go for big birds. Emily arrives to take care of Mike for the day and asks what programme he's watching but he forgets.

Later on, after Emily has left, Danny suggests that as Mike is asleep, he and Leanne can get up to a little somethin', somethin'. Just then, Mike bursts in and demands to know who they are and calls the place.

When the police arrive, they seem to understand what it is going on. That blonde, female PC who always seems to show up is talking to Mike, who suddenly doesn't know who he is and starts asking about "Mike, Frankie's son." He then starts crying.

Later in the pub, Jamie sees Danny sitting alone. They talk about Mike for a little bit but Danny wants to reconcile his relationship with Jamie. Jamie refuses and walks out, leaving Danny alone.

This Year's Model

Norris is asking Rita if he can redo her apartment, claiming that what he saw as a nice widow's flat is actually a lovely pied-a-terre for a 21st century man such as himself. He also wants to paint the walls "post-modern beige." It's all a bit too much for Rita who retires to Emily's to get soused on vodka.

Pump it Up

Blanche comes into the Rover's and orders two Gin and Tonics. One for her, and one for her friend from "The One O'Clock Club." When her friend doesn't show, she drinks the second G&T herself. Shelley thinks this is a right laugh and tells Deirdre, who wants to know why her mother resorts to subterfuge. After some ribbing from the regulars, Blanche announces she's boycotting the Rover's and marches over to Emily and Rita's, where they are assembling a jigsaw puzzle that Emily found a charity shop. Blanche says it's the same one she returned last week as it's missing Kirkcudbright, which the missus noted Blanche mispronounced. Must be all the gin.

She announces she's boycotted the Rover's and invites them to join her for future drinks at a new pub she recently found that she thinks looks nice, even if it does serve green curries. It has "oldie worldie Manchester" photos so it can't be all bad.

Emily and Rita says they're a bit set in their ways and prefer the Rover's. Blanche calls them Shelley's co-conspirators.

"You'd have been a wash-out at Greenham Common," she declares.

Too Many Office Parties Update (for Tuesday Dec 19)

Okay, sorry, sorry, sorry... Office parties....too much food....too much booze

Winner of The Office Raffle for 'Why Did Moley Do That?' Is.....

'Because she's a crazy pyscho bitch.' Who had 'Because she's a crazy psycho bitch?' Come and collect your prize - a mounted holiday trout that sings Christmas carols.

So Charlie tries to 'collect' on all the coyish promises that Moley may (or may not) have made the night before even though she denies it. The two of the get a bit agressive with each other on the street about who said what and what she really wants until Steve spots them together.

Steve tries to do the 'hands of my girlfriend or I'll knock you mate' route, but one shove from Charlie proves that he may not be able to take on our Charlie and win. At this point Tracey comes out to the street to find out what happened and when Moley tells her that Charlie tried to get it on with her, Tracey takes Charlie's side that Moley came on to him.

Lots of remarks are exchanged and each woman grabs her man and goes back to her respective saucer of milk.

Behind close doors we find out that the women were posturing outside and that each man's got to hear some home 'truths'.

Tracey tells Charlie that he's full of shit and that she's not Shelly so he can't play her the same way. She adds that if he ever goes for another woman again, she'll kill him (or make him babysit).

Back at the Rovers, Steve declares that he's going to go around to Charlies and 'Break his bottom'*** and give him a good thrashing...while REALLY hoping that Moley will stop him before he actually walks out of the Rovers. Luckily she tells him to sit down and explains to him that she did come on to Charlie because she wanted to ruin their night and 'teach them a lesson'.

Psycho Killer
Qu'est que c'est?
Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far far better

I Saw Sean Kissing Chris Cringle

Sean tells Violet that Chris was not the man he seemed to be the night before. Sean apparantly brought his beer googles on top of his gaydar the night before.

Then I think later he decides that Chris is the man of his dreams...sorry, I was filling up on Grey Goose at that point.

Phil Your Boots With Cheer

The town is gossiping about Phil and Gayle and Blanche wisely observes that there was too much height difference between them anyway. Gayle overhears all this and is ...wait for it....upset.

She then goes to Audrey and cries about how she's a fool who just can't choose the right man and that she keeps bringing psycho killers into the family home.

Meanwhile, Sarah goes over to Eileen's to look for Jason. He's not home, but Eileen offers her a cuppa and Sarah tells Eileen the whole story about why Gayle and Phil broke up.

Sarah grumbles that the worse part is that SHE will have to pick up the pieces when her mom is upset. Eileen tells her not let Gayle lean on her too much, as Sarah is young and has her own life. Sarah is cheered by Eileen's advice and thanks her.


Don't let Gayle lean too much on Sarah? Who the HELL has been taking care of Sarah's little mistake aka Bethany for the last 14 years? I don't love the Gayle, but that last piece of advice is horseshit! I think Sarah most certainly owes her mom some sympathy and support.

More Blanch-ism

The family is STILL arguing about who should take care of Mike and Deidre decides to get invovled and offer her advice. Blanche suggests that it's not wise of Danny to leave Leanne with Mike because she's already 'bopped 2 Baldwins' and she might go for a 3rd.

Deidre decides to visit Mike and take him out for a bit to give Leanne a break. They spend the day on the town and end up back at the cafe where he asks if he knows her. She's a bit heart broken by this and runs to the washroom to compose herself.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand Mike wanders out of the cafe and straight over to the Battersby's house (which he used to own and had set up house with Bet Lynch). When Les opens the door, Mike comes in all a blaze demanding to know why they're in his house and to get out. Les is all confused and leaves Mike with Chesney while he rounds up Danny.

Danny, Jamie, Deidre, Les end up back the Battersby's where Chesney and Mike are happily playing a game of checkers. Deidre, who previously thought it was better that Mike stays with Danny, now says that it's probably better if he's with Frankie because if he does wander off, at least he'll be where people can keep an eye on him.

Blanche, who was far too creeped out by Mike's condition (as she fears getting alzeheimers (or as Glacia's mom used to call it 'Old Timers' disease) herself), waits for Deidre at the Rovers with two drinks. She announces to the bar that she bets Deidre is glad now that she picked Ken over Mike and everyone is correctly shocked.
***Quote the Britcom!

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

The 2007 British Show

What I DIDN'T know and was given the head's up by Corrie Canuck Pauline, is that there is a British Show in Hamilton, Feb 9 - 11.

Attending this show is....oh....I don't know.....JOHNNY FREAKIN' BRIGGS!

Click here for more info.

Anyone in Toronto feel like giving Glacia a lift to Hamilton? (Note to self, learn how to drive.)

Christmas Schedule for Corrie

From the CBC website:

Please note that Coronation Street is pre-empted on Christmas and Boxing Day, but will air back-to-back episodes on Dec. 27th and 28th at 7 p.m.

It's pre-empted again on Tuesday, Jan. 2, but will be back on Wednesday, Jan. 3 with two back-to-back episodes at 7 p.m.

There will be a special Coronation Street documentary on on Jan 1 at 7:30 pm. I'd tell you what it is, but it'd kind of give away a spoiler, although not that much of a spoiler. Curious? Click here. Just giving you fair warning.

Want to be suprised? Just tune in on Jan 1.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Update for Episode # 6258 December 18, 2006

The Platts

Phil and the gang are sitting around the dinner table. Phil wants to talk and sort things out, but Gail just wants to keep feeding them so they have something else to occupy their mouths with besides talking. The foot fiddler keeps on pressing matters and eventually it comes out that everyone in the family thinks it is indeed Phil who has been sending the Richard Hillman cards to various members of the Platt clan. Things get a little heated between David and Phil which results in much yelling and grabbing and other manly type behaviours. Gail finally gets a clue about what has been going on in her house and tells Stinky McTavish to take the highroad back to the highlands. Mother Platt tells Phil that he is violent and a liar, and she will never believe another word he says to her. She asks for his key back and then shows him the door.

Phil makes his way across the street to The Rovers for a little dutch courage before returning to # 8 to plead his case. He proceeds to pound on the door and bellow in a most undignified manner, but to no avail. In keeping with the tradition of communicating with Platt women he also tries the old shouting through the letter box trick. Audrey, hearing the commotion comes to the rescue and tells the haggis eating lothario to sling his hook, or she will rouse the male denizens of The Rovers to give him a good thrashing. Knowing he has met his match, Phil slinks off down the street.

In the house Gail is quite upset, and Audrey, Sarah and David all do their best to console her. It is of little use though, Gail is feeling guilty about putting her family in a bad spot again, after having been fooled by a man she fancied.

Double Date

Steve, Ronnie, Tracey and Charlie are still having a 'pleasant' drink together in a booth at The Rovers. The two who aren't parents of Amy seem to be hitting it off quite nicely. One might even say that Ronnie is having a bit of a flirt with the local builder. They somehow decide to go back to Charlie's flat for a drink. Steve and Tracey have a look in on Amy, who is asleep in her room. For a change they behave like rational adults and have a mildly civil conversation. At the same time in the living room what seems to my untrained eye like flirting is continuing between Ronnie and Charlie as they share a drink. When Charlie pushes things a bit all of a sudden Ronnie tells Charlie that he is out of his mind, and that she wouldn't touch him with a barge pole. When Steve and Tracey join them Ronnie feigns feeling ill so they can leave, making some tentative plans to get together again on the weekend. Steve and Ronnie then retire to The Rovers for a drink and Tracey is curious what happened when Charlie was left alone with the other woman for a few short moments.

I am a dense male at the best of times, but what Ronnie was doing in this sequence really baffles me. Anyone with better intuition feel free to interpret what was going on here.

Norris and Becky and Kelly

Norris is in The Rovers having a quiet half pint when he is accosted by Becky, who tells him to leave her mate Kelly alone or else. Norris is understandably baffled by this announcement. Kelly shows up a moment or two later and is informed by Becky that she has sorted things out with Norris and she won't have to worry about him anymore. Kelly is also baffled by this announcement.

Becky is shown in this sequence coming out of the loo and wiping her nose, which I think is meant to convey that she was partaking of some recreational pharmaceuticals whilst in the loo. This would explain her paranoid reasoning and will no doubt lead to further hijinks in future episodes.

The Prodigal Son

After having gone missing and being incommunicado for a lengthy time Sean makes an appearance at the pub. Violet asks where he has been. It seems the bar man/seamstress of a monochromatic sexual preference has met a new demi-god beau, a volcano of a man. (all sorts of images come to mind there) Violet counsels him to take his time, to remember that he has a habit of rushing into things, is it worth losing both of his jobs over a new fling? Sean counters that he is not clutching at straws, he is holding onto a hulking piece of timber. (more images come to mind here) The other night when he was out at the club with Jamie and Violet and they were looking deep into each others eyes, Sean realized what he was missing out on and decided to grab life by the horn. Sorry, horns.

The Baldwins

After much debate Danny and Leanne make their way from the Quays to Coronation Street to talk to Frankie and Jamie about what should be done with Mike. Everyone does their best to remain civil in what is a particularily uncomfortable social gathering at # 7. Frankie and Jamie want Mike to move in with them, so Mike can be in familiar surroundings and can interact with people he has known all his life. Danny thinks that moving would only confuse Mike further. Danny asks who will look after him when they are at work all day. Frankie and Jamie both are willing to stop working to help out taking care of Mike. Danny wonders how they afford to do that - Frankie says that Mike has money to take care of things. Danny accuses them of wanting to take advantage of his father's situation and wealth. Jamie points out the hypocricy of this. In the end no firm conclusion is reached.

Meanwhile back at Mike's flat he and Penny are having a pleasant time looking at holiday photos of the two of them in Spain. Mike recognizes that the woman in the photos is Penny, but is unable to believe that the woman sitting beide him is also Penny. She does her best to explain but Mike just gets more and more frustrated. In the end he says that Penny can rot in Spain, he never wants to see her again.

What's That Song??

Allo Mes Bebes, I know I haven't been around in a while... But I have a favour to ask. From tonight's episode, when Steve and Ronnie where first in Charlie and Tracey's flat, what was that sultry female-vocal song that was playing? Is anybody good at finding out that stuff? I know in the second scene the song was "Protection" by Massive Attack (also a great, mellow, sexy tune). Anyone who can tell me gets Christmas kisses...

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Friday's Update: The Big Whine

“You seen my T-shirt?” asks Charlie (topless shot just for Glacia).
“Washed and ironed,” replies the housewife of the year, who is feeding Amy.
“Does she always wear her breakfast?” asks Charlie, “Uncle” of the year. He does concede to blow Amy a kiss on his way out. Creepy or sweet?

“It’s one of the happiest days of my life and nobody cares,” Bride-to-be Sarah wines to her Gran. Why isn’t anyone happy for her?! Sarah is determined to be happy for herself and not let anyone ruin it for her. Audrey melts and wraps her in a congratulatory hug.

“Come on, mam!” Jason whines to Eileen. (I pause here to remember the best scene EVER from the last episode where Eileen smacked Jason. Repeatedly. Aw, thanks, Corrie! We sure needed that. I think they should have bonus scenes on the DVD where everyone lines up in front of Eileen for their smack. Especially Gail, Norris and David.).
“I told ya, I wash my hands of it!” Eileen wants nothing to do with this engagement mess. Jase won’t change his mind.
“I just don’t want you to hate us, that’s all.”
“Don’t be daft! Look, you may drive me around the bend, but you’re still me son.”
“So it’s all sorted.”
“But you do love us?”
“Thanks, mam!” Jase grins

Jamie arrives at the apartment. Mike asks where they’re going. Danny tries to lie, but Jamie makes him admit they’re going to check out rest homes. “Can I come?” Mike asks, saying he doesn’t want to stay behind “wi’ er,” pointing at Leanne.
“Oh, charming,” Leanne replies.
Mike says they’ll make it like old times. Leanne grabs her coat and is off to the shops.

At the salon, Sarah is talking about her ring. Audrey says she hasn’t taken hers off since Alf gave it to her.
“I’m never going to take mine off. You’re going to have to bury me in it,” says Sarah.
“Oh, is that an invitation?” Maria asks.
Audrey steps in before the fight stars. “Today’s a happy day, remember.” Then she gazes out the window and sees Phil drive by. She looks worried.

Audrey and Gail walk together and Gail says she’s got bigger things to worry about than Sarah and Jason. Audrey says not to worry about the card. Besides, they know who sent it.
“It’s not Phil!” Gail says, exasperated.
And speak of the devil, Phil appears. Audrey coldly excuses herself. As Gail gives him money to do the shopping, Phil tries to get the truth about how Audrey feels about him, but Gail says it’s nothing, just the Jason-Sarah thing.

The Baldwin boys pull up in front of a gingerbread castle / retirement home.
“So this is it, is it?” Mike asks.
“Yup, this is is,” Danny replies.
“Well cheer up, lads, it might never ‘appen,” Mike says. Danny and Jamie look at each other.

Next, it’s the same scene where Tracy tells Ken and Dierdre again how great a father Charlie’s making and they’re shooting looks at each other and rolling their eyes and Tacy whines for them to be happy for her and Ken says, “we’re happy if you are.” And then Tracy asks them to baby-sit. The twist is that she wants them to do it at Charlie’s. They look horrified, but of course they agree.

Then Tracy pulls the “let’s go see Daddy” bit by dragging Amy to the yard. Tracy congratulates Jason on his news and says “hey, we could have a double wedding!”
“Come again?” Charlie says coldly.
“I’m joking.”
Charlie says he really doesn’t have time for her little visit. He has too much to do, not to mention “two more mouths to feed.”
Tracy pounces, “so that’s all we are to you. You know, it could have been three mouths to feed, not that you’re bothered.” Charlie backs off. I mean, Tracy is so good! It ends in a kiss and plans for a night out.

Boy George shows the Baldwin boys around the rest home, reassuring them that they have tons of staff and top of the line care.
“He ain’t that ill,” Jamie says uncomfortably.
“He’s having a good day,” Danny warns.
“Hey! They have a snooker table!” Mike returns. He loves the Jacuzzi, too. He thinks they should look into a family membership.

Later, as Mike talks flowers with an older lady, Danny and Jamie discuss the situation. Danny is impressed with the facility, but Jamie feels bad that Mike has no clue where he is or why.
“Ignorance is bliss, eh?” Danny says.

Kelly is texting Sean, “where are you?”, when she accidentally walks into Norris, who flips because that’s what Norris does. He says her high heels should carry a health warning. Becky appears and tells her she should have thumped him one, even if he is an OAP. “You don’t let people bully you, Kelly. I don’t care how old they are.”

“I was just dropping off some shopping for your mom,” Phil nervously tells David at the door to the house. Phil needles David for the truth about Audrey. David folds and tells him about the card. “Don’t say I told you, right?”
“Of course,” Phil says.

At the rest home, Mike shares his newfound knowledge about plant with the boys. He says he learned it from that lady, that she can remember every plant in the garden.
“And?” Danny asks, unimpressed.
“Well, you know the geezer wi’ er, that’s her boy! And she can’t remember his name!” Mike exclaims. Danny and Jamie exchange looks again.
“So, this is where you want to put me, is it?” Mike asks.
“No one is going to make you do anything you don’t want to,” Jamie replies.
“You’re dead right they’re not,” Mike says. “Tell you what, though, wherever I end up, if I get like her, I never wanna see you again. That goes for you two,” he says to the two of them. “Will you promise me that?”
“I’m sorry, Granddad, I can’t do that,” Jamie says, tearing up. “I’m gonna go wait in the car.
“Remember what I said, son,” Mike says to Danny. Danny nods.

While Mike snoozes in the back seat, Jamie and Danny argue in the front. Danny says the home was Jamie’s idea and besides, it’s the best thing for him. Jamie replies that he was wrong and they should try to work his care out between them.
“You got absolutely no idea the sort of responsibility you’re talking about,” Danny says.
“Well, anyfing’s better than you and Leanne!” Jamie counters. He says Mike’s not safe with them. “Besides, it’s not your problem.”
Danny tells him he’s wrong, that Mike’s his ol’ man. Jamie asks him what he wants to do and Danny says they’ll sort it out. As a family.

At the pub, Eileen tells Violet that Sean didn’t come home last night. Violet tells Eileen not to worry, he’s a big boy. Eileen asks if she’s heard and Violet nods and says that Sarah’s welcome to have Jason.
“You don’t seem to be taking it too badly,” Violet says.
“It’s called shock, love,” Eileen replies, then, “It’s not going to happen!”
“He proposed to her, didn’t he?”
“He’d propose to a rock if it looked at him right,” Eileen says, then realizes. “Oh sorry, love.”
“Forget it.”
“I wish it were you. I really do.”

Then what follows really is really Ronnie’s scene. She’s having a drink with her puppy dog, I mean Steve, when Charlie and Tracy enter the pub. Tracy and Steve start having words about “where’s Amy” and “Steve, you seriously need to get a life” and “ditched her already” and blah-blah-blah.

When Charlie delivers Ronnie’s drink, he leans into Steve and slaps him on the shoulder, “don’t worry mate, (Amy’s) not going to be calling me daddy anytime soon.”
“You’re not going to drink that, are you?” Steve accuses Ronnie.
“No, I’m going to wear it as a hat.”
“I don’t want you taking anything from her, all right?” Steve whines.
Ronnie, fed up, calls him just as predictable as Tracy said. “She knows exactly what buttons to push to get you going. I can’t do this anymore,” she gets up and joins Tracy and Charlie.
“What the ‘ell do you think you’re doing?” Steve follows her.

And here comes the best speech I’ve heard in awhile;
“We are going to have a quiet drink with Tracy and Charlie. Sit down. SIT DOWN, NOW. I mean it, Steve.” He does. “Now, we are going to try and behave like adults. The way I see it, we are committed to each other and so are you two. We have at least three things in common. There’s Amy, your emotional punch bag of a daughter. Their disastrous and failed relationship,” she says, referring to Steve and Tracy.
“And the third thing?” Chalie asks, smirking.
“You and me, Charlie. The poor, innocent victims of an accident that is Tracy and Steve. Now, I don’t know about you but I’m getting really bored of it.”
“I’ll drink to that,” Charlie replies.
Tracy is clearly not amused.

Phil arrives for supper, saying he got held up. He congratulates Sarah. “At least Gran likes my ring,” Sarah mutters.
“Not now, please,” Gail says.
“How is your gran?” Phil jumps in. It comes out that David told Phil about the card and that the reason Gail didn’t tell him is because Phil is a suspect. “Can we just forget this? Please?” Gail squeaks.
“You think I sent the card?” Phil asks. Gail leaves the table. “Gail?”

The end.

Saturday, December 16, 2006


Tinyvi is now in 2 places for uploading videos of corrie.

I am also using Dailymotion as well as Youtube.

Richard Fleeshman Dress-Up Doll

Dress and undress our Craig Harris in Stardoll, a virtual paper doll game.

What? No goth outfit?

Via [Kaz]

Friday, December 15, 2006

Lather, Rinse, Repeat Update for Dec 14.

Well, it seems that the writers have decided to go back to the dreaded ‘Weatherfield 90210’ format and bore us into submission. I was not pleased with last night’s episode mainly because I see it as the start of another long drawn out teen angst – oh wait, angst would be at least INTERESTING – teen love story.

Note to the writers, to write months of script where all Jason and Sarah do is break up and get back together again is cheap and lazy and not worthy of the Coronation Street we’ve come to know and love.

Stella! Stella!
Jason, after having little success in getting Violet to talk to him, decides to put all his energies into getting Sarah to talk to him…. he begs, she acts miffed but even more miffed if he ignores her, text messaging, blah, blah, blah bloody blah…..

After standing outside her front door, Jason decides the best course of action is to break the back door window and just walk into the house. Oh, there’s dating material for you! David, very understandably is bothered by this and tells Jason that if he harms a hair on Sarah that he’ll kill him. (Sarah responds, ‘Oh David, that’s sweet.’ )

So blah, blah, blah Jason asks Sarah to marry him and she says yes. She immediately wants to go to the pub in order to bother Violet with the news, but when she discovers that Violet isnt’ at the Rovers, she decides that they should get a ring and tell their moms.

Gayle moans and groans when told this news so Sarah and Jason decide to tell someone who will be happy for them, like, um, oh, I don’t know, Eileen.

Eileen slaps Jason across the face when he tells her the news:

Jason: ‘Ow, mom, what’d you…’

Eileen: SLAP

Jason: ‘I thought you’d be…’

Eileen: SLAP

Jason: ‘Would you just listen for…’

Eileen: SLAP

Jason: ‘Can’t you be hap….’

Eileen: SLAP

Glacia sloshes her Mojito , leans forward towards the telly and screams, ‘You GO girl! And slap that little slapper for me too while you’re in a slapping mood!’

‘Les Enfants Godawful’ go back to the pub where, thank GOD, Violet is there! Sarah tells everyone in the place to be quiet while Jason makes the announcement. Cheers all around and Sarah makes a point of inviting Violet for a drink to celebrate. V initially takes up the offer and realizing that she could be out on the town with Jamie instead, passes on the offer.

Third Wheel from the Sean
Sean is all set to go out with Violet and Jamie when it dawns on him that they might want time alone. He excuses himself from the outing, but Jamie goes up to him and says that he wants him to join and he’d like it if they could be mates.

I’m beginning to really like Jamie.

Happy Smother’s Day
Audrey comes over to the Platt’s for brunch in a horrid mood. When Gayle confronts her about it, she shows the ‘Happy Mother’s Day to Best God Darn Mother-in-Law until Gayle Ruined Our Happy Family’ Hallmark card (Shoebox collection) that she received in the post.

Audrey wants the police to be called, but Gayle insists that they ignore it. Audrey is really starting to suspect Dr. Phil, but Gayle stands by her man.

Did anyone else notice how chummy Phil and David were in this episode and how good and kind and gentle David’s being all around? What happened?

What Will Happen When Uncle Fred Becomes My New Daddy?
Shelly is concerned about the responsibilities that Fred is handing over to Bev (i.e. scheduling) and asks him out right what is going to happen to her own position when they get married.

Fred says that when they are married, Bev will become the landlady, he wouldn’t have it any other way, I say, he wouldn’t have it any other way. However, Shelly’s position will remain untouched and that he hopes that she will become part of his family as much as he’s becoming part of hers.



This is the point where Emily Nugent becomes Emily Bishop.

The ending to this clip is very funny.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

How Many Amys?

There have been 4 Amys.

1) Louisa Morris (1 episode)
2) Rebecca Pike (8 episodes)
3) Maddison Hampson
4) Amber Chadwick.

More info can be found here.

Update - December 13, 2006

Charlie and Tracey

Charlie is tidying up his flat (he slept on the couch), and Tracey comes out of the bedroom claiming she didn't sleep a wink last night. Yes, it's exhausting aborting your fictional fetus and buying new shoes. Charlie notes that she was sawing logs last night.

Tracey asks that he not tell anyone as she doesn't want people to have any more ammo against her. Charlie suggests that they could perhaps have a baby in the future but not just now. Tracey asks if this means he sees a future for this couple.

She adds that she misses Amy and wants her to come live with them.

Later at the yard, Charlie tells Jason about Tracey's termination. Jason thinks that's typical of Tracey, getting rid before Charlie's had a chance to think about it. Charlie does not correct him.

Tracey comes by and starts up with the plan for Amy to move in with them, adding some fake tears to the mix. She says if Charlie won't take Amy, then she'll carry on without him.

Later Tracey tells The Elder Barlows that they won't have to worry about Amy anymore as she's moving in with her and Charlie. Ken thinks they should discuss it first but Tracey says that's the end of it.

Later at Charlie's flat, Tracey shows up wondering when Charlie wants her to leave. He says he can't throw her out after she just had an abortion so he offers to bring Amy in on a temporary basis. Tracey says she's happy.

Mike and Leanne

At his flat, Mike shows up dressed sharp for work but Danny tells him it's his day off and that he'll take care of everything at the factory. He leaves Mike in the care of Leanne, whom Mike thinks is Maggie. Later Mike offers to buy Maggie a new wardrobe. Leanne quickly accepts the offer.

When they return, Leanne has an armload of shopping bags and Mike says he'll expect payment in kind. Yikes.

When Danny gets back, he quickly catches on to what's been going on. He says it's the same as robbing him as he doesn't know what he's doing. Somewhere, a pot calls a kettle black. He picks up Mike's wallet and asks how much he spent. Mike sees this and, forgetting all about today, calls Danny a thief and asks for his money back.

Danny tells Leanne if she tries something like that again, she'll be bouncing down the street on her "'arris."

Sarah and Jason

Sarah and Jason spend their morning walk to work rowing as Charlie swings by in the truck, telling Jason to get in, as he's late.

At the salon, Sarah is taking out her frustrations on Shelly's shampooed head. Audrey tells her to apologise but she skulks off. Shelley, meanwhile, is asking Audrey for the skinhead look as she's through with men.

Maria thinks sacking Sarah would be a good cost-cutting measure. Later Audrey tells Sarah to just call Jason. Otherwise, she's sacked.

Sarah meets Jason in the street and tells her she had to call him to save her job. Jason is all, "That's the lyingest lie that ever lied" and they're back to the arguing. Charlie pulls up in the truck.

"It's Groundhog Day," he announces.


Shelley has messed up the "rota," claiming Bev distracted her while she was doing it. As a result, every single employee of the Rover's is scheduled to work that night. They try to play it off as though they were giving the pub a good spring cleaning when Jason and Charlie come in. In move of solidarity with Violet, they all ignore their order. The men leave for the Weatherfield Arms when Danny comes in to be served right away. He asks if the staffing is a tribute to the British Leyland assembly line of the 1970's: one person takes the order, another pours the drink, another takes the money.

"It's a theme pub. I love it!" he adds.

Later, Kirk shows up and is confused by the massive staffing. Violet explains that they're giving the pub a good bosoming. "Bottoming," Betty corrects her. Pity. I like Violet's good bosoming. Sean shows up and doesn't get the hint when Shelley claims it's for spring cleaning.

Finally, she admits to Fred that she messed up the rota.

"THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" Fred says as his fiancé Bev takes him away before he says something he'll regret.

Later, Fred re-emerges with Bev and the decision that Bev will be doing the rota from now on.

Shelley protests that it's her job to do that.

"NOT ANYMORE," Fred replies.

Bev thinks she's doing Shelley a favour.

In other news

Vernon is back and is still relying on Liz to pay his cab fare, buy his drinks, and now, apparently, put him up. Apparently if you don't pay your rent for six months, the landlord can evict you. Looks like he'll be bunking with Steve and Liz for a while.

Deirdre is still stealing smokes off of Liz. Ken says he can't wait until smoking is banned in pubs. Fred reckons he'll have to get rid of the menu to keep the smokers.

"What about my hot pot?!" Betty retorts, curtly.


CORONATION STREET 1972, Rita from the Kabins First corrie.


CORONATION STREET 1972 Hilda Ogden is at it again.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

The Burt Bacharach Update

A Health Farm Is Not a Home
Mike is at home pulling out all his Shirly Bassey and Dusty Springfield LP’s (Note to some of our younger readers, LP’s were very flat pancakes created sometime after the Crimean war. These pancakes could be placed on phonographs to listen to music such as ‘Jimmy Cracked Corn’ and ‘Ta-Ra-Ra-Boom Dee-ay’). He’s also going over his old photos and when Leanne sees one of Deidre and Mike cozy back in the 70’s, she decides to call Deidre to see if she can give her a break for the afternoon.

Because Deidre has nothing better to do than babysit the grandchild, she agrees to come over just as soon as all the seniors in the Barlow household rearrange their schedule to enable Tracey’s bad behavior.

Armed with bottle of Mike’s favorite whiskey, Deidre and her mod belt make their way over for a visit. Luckily Mike recognizes her and invites her in for a drink. Deidre accepts but suggests that they put away all the clothes that he has thrown around the flat.

They have a few drinks, reminisce over the photos taken at Rita and Len’s party and to make it even more nostalgic, Mike gets angry at the mention of Ken’s name. Then he promises to take her to Spain the minute he’s gotten rid of his cold and asks her to dance with him.

And Deidre cries.

When Danny gets back home, he talks to Mike about going to a ‘Health Farm’ in order to recuperate. Mike responds by talking about Bet Lynch and the Silver Jubilee party. He then quotes his grandmother, ‘You sometimes have to wait until sunset to realize what a beautiful day it’s been.’


Danny is pissed at Leanne for leaving Mike alone to put the bins out, but when she cries about how hard it is to take care of him, Danny apologizes to her.

As much as I dislike Leanne, I’m so on board with her on this issue. Mike needs professional help.

One Less Caravan Bell To Answer
Maria, Deidre and Audrey have a long discussion on Audrey’s imminent retirement and Audrey seems to be wavering. Especially given the fact that Keith is dreaming of spending their retirement caravanning and fishing.

(Seriously, Keith and Audrey haven’t a snowball’s chance in Arizona. Caravanning? Even I’m cringing.)

It’s too much for Audrey and she decides that the salon is where she wants to be and that she is not going to sell up.

Pissed –off Maria.

Pissed-off Keith.

What’s New Pussycat
There’s talk of Bev marrying Fred. Wait, what? What the HELL did I miss in France?

Faker, Faker

Tracey who’s been practicing her ‘sad’ face for many years uses it to elicit enough sympathy from Charlie that he gives her money for an abortion. He offers to go with her, but she says it’s better if she braved this on her own.

Then she goes shopping for new shoes with the cashola.

That was sooooooooooo sweet.

Moely spots her coming out of the shoe store and when Tracey expresses concern about Charlie finding out about the new shoes, she offers advice about putting them in a Walmart box, cause men just don’t know the difference. (Moley has obviously never met Mr. Glacia.)

Back at the flat, Tracey is in her flannels ‘resting’ on the couch when Charlie comes home. She even looks slightly shocked that he went to the Rovers before coming home, but bravely says it’s okay.

She excuses herself to the bedroom for a lie down and skulks away with more sad faces. The minute the door is closed, she’s trying on the shoes, leaning back on the bed, kicking her heels and cackling. She then gets on the horn with Amy (who seems to have a HUGE vocabulary on the phone) about how she’s going to buy her a whole whack of toys.

Oh come on Tracey, how much do you care about this kid? You didn’t even notice that someone replaced her with another child.

The Psycho Look of Love
Sarah is continuing to ignore Jason while Violet is viewing him as a whole new level of idiot.

Meanwhile, because she is insane, Sarah goes into the Rovers and makes sure that Violet can hear when she announces that Jason texted that he loves her. Seeing that this doesn’t phase Violet, Sarah then marches over to the bar and tells Violet, ‘It’s not working, you know.’

V’s response, ‘What? Your brain?’ Glacia has a hearty chuckle over her Cuba Libre.

Violet then tells Sarah how Jason asked for a bit of ‘afternoon delight’ a few weeks back and when she refused, proposed to her. Then it all becomes clear to Sarah, that her relationship with Jason may not be a very healthy or mature. She decides that she might want to take some time out for herself. She makes a vow to forget men for now and focus on her life and what’s best for her daughter. She further decides to make best use of the support her mother is offering by going back to school and working towards becoming a dental hygenist. She can now see that only once she’s a fully independent woman with something to offer outside of sex can she then attract the kind of man who will be loving, supportive and mature enough to take care of her needs completely and maybe suggest she lose the rabbit fur.

Oh I’m just goofing. She dumped another beer over Jason’s head and told him that he has been ‘double dumped’.

CORONATION STREET 1967*, Christmas.

CORONATION STREET 1967 Nice christmas clip.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Update for Episode # 6253 December 11, 2006

The Scottish Plan

Ashley and Claire continue their plan of going to the Hebridean Islands to escape the evil plot of Matt Ramsden and his wife whose name escapes me at the moment. They decide upon Mull*, (I presume the Island of Mull) because they went on holiday there and it seemed quite lovely. Bev inquires as to the medical amenities that might be found on the isolated isle of their kilted kinsmen. This cause a few furrowed brows. What about when it is time for Claire to have her wee bairn? (I did some research in this regard and it seems in the Hebrides the shepherd who is the least drunk at the time is given responsibility for delivering the baby) In the face of these daunting problems the ginger haired couple decide to stay in Weatherfield amidst their kith and kin and face their problems head on.

* Perhaps they should seek refuge on Iona, off the West coast of Mull, which was a safe hiding place for 6th century monks, as outlined in the excellent book by Thomas Cahill, How the Irish Saved Civilization.

The Old Dog

Mike is in the kitchen looking for bread everywhere except in the breadbox. Leanne, wearing nothing but a towel, shows him where to find the bread and then saunters off to have a shower. Mike watches her wander away with a glint in his eye. Hoping to confirm his suspicions, Mike calls up one of his golfing buddies and asks him 'Oi Lenny, did we go pulling last night? I've got a lovely bird here in the shower but I can't remember what her name is.'

A while later Mike tries to get a leg over on Leanne, but she stops him saying 'Oi, I'm your son's girlfriend!' (I know, the irony is indeed rich) Mike feels sheepish at his mistake and makes her promise not to tell his son - Adam that is.

The Daft Couple

Sarah has a new plan to test Jason's fidelity. In short, he has to ignore Violet completely. Of course he has to practice this so off to The Rovers they go. She who must be obeyed sends young Grimshaw off to the bar to get in their drinks, without acknowledging Violet. He manages this the first round without any problems. The second round he gets some stick from Sean about his behaviour. Violet calls him pathetic. Of course Sarah goes to the loo and returns at that exact moment Violet is talking to Jason, starts screeching at him about how he is a nasty two timing creep, pours his pint over his head (the man has no pride) and then storms out of the pub. Audrey, aghast at this performance is left to utter 'she was sweet once upon a time.'

The Happy Family

Tracey and the human sneer* continue their conversation about his upcoming state of fatherhood. The prince of darkness* is curious about how this might have happened. Was Tracey not on the pill? Is he actually the father? Was this a deliberate ploy on her part? The mother of the year protests her innocence and fidelity, she just forgot to take her pill once or twice because she had a lot on her mind. (scheming mostly is my guess) Tracey wants them to get married and be a proper family, so Amy can have a little brother or sister. The spawn of Satan* tells her that is not going to happen to him anytime soon, he is going for a drink at the local.

Tracey goes looking for the re-incarnation of Hitler* a while later at The Rovers. She asks Shel and Bev if they have seen Mephistopheles*. They smirk and comment that he must be up to his old tricks. Like the two stood behind the bar snipes Tracey.

She does find Beelzebub* later at the builder's yard and they have a heart to heart chat. The embodiment of evil* thinks that an abortion is in the best interest of the child. He suggest that maybe one day they might have a child together and that will bring them closer. Tracey agrees to this plan, as long as it doesn't take place in some grotty hospital. In the end they embrace, both with a look of triumph on their faces. I wonder who will win out in this ultimate clash of evil.

* I am referring to Charlie Stubbs, local builder and all-round pillock.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Thursday/Friday Update

It’ll Just Be More Scottish, And Therefore Better
Joshua’s 4th birthday is being fete’d at Chez Peacock and all of Weatherfield’s kiddies are there to celebrate. Ashley and Claire are still determined to leave after the party even though Fred thinks they’re mad.

Claire runs around town giving her maternity leave notice and saying how she’s going away for a few days – meanwhile hugging the stuffings out of all and sundry so much so that they think her hormones have gone completely off the map.

During the party everyone is having a good time until guess who shows up with Mrs. Guess who. No, not Burton Cummings, but the evil Dr. Matt who has come to give him a present. Joshua wants nothing to do with him and Fred gives him a tongue lashing especially when Matt talks about his responsibility to Joshua. Where was your sense of responsibility for the last 4 years, you git? Hmmm? Hmmm?

Friday’s episode was more of Fred (joined by Bev) encouraging the ginger couple to stay put. My favorite stupid line out of Ashley’s mouth was, ‘We’re going to Scotland where things are different.’ Claire asks if they are in Scotland will that prevent courts from taking Joshua. Ashley replys,

“I don’t know. It’ll just be different.’

I’m beginning to think that Ashley has not really thought out this cunning plan.

M & M
Maria,trying to come up with funds to buy the salon from Audrey, approaches Tyrone about the wedding fund that they had set up. She asks if she can have her contribution back and he agrees.

Later when he tells Molly, she starts ranting and raving about how all the money in that account is Tyrone’s because Maria spent her wages on nail polish and bonbons. Tyrone disagrees, but Molly says that she’ll take care of the situation for him.

Molly approaches Maria in the bar to tell her that she has her share of the money for her and tosses 50p at her. This does not sit well with Maria who later balls Tyrone out and tells him how unfair he’s being.

Tyrone tells Molly that it’s worth the money to be done with Maria and Molly reluctantly agrees. They approach Maria with a cheque which she gladly accepts and later offers to Audrey as a gesture in order to have first stab at buying the salon. Audrey is pleased to be selling up to Maria and gives her a big hug.

Do you think Molly has ANY girlfriends? Cause she’s coming across as one of those women who sees every woman as a threat. I’m finding her a bit of a bitch.

Speaking of Bitches – Part 1
Sarah is a freaking psycho bitch from hell. She’s determined to celebrate the 18th month anniversary of --- I guess her and Jason screwing --- and they go off to the Rovers to ‘celebrate’.

She makes sure that everytime Violet looks their way she is snoggy the much desired Jason. Violet thinks it’s idiotic – as does the rest of humanity. Later, Sarah goes to the little girls room and Violet talks to Jason about this and that. Sarah sees this and freaks out. In true Platt fashion she screams her head off in the middle of the Rovers, bursts into tears and goes running off, Jason following behind.

He has to sweet talk her through the letter slot of the door as she claims that he has humiliated her in front of everyone at the Rovers by talking to Violet.

Take that in folks, HE humiliated her in front of the punters.

Anyway, he gets her to open the door, they kiss and make up and Glacia feels nauseous.

Speaking of Bitches – Part 2
Charlie and Tracey are back from whereeverthehellitwastheywent. She’s brought back cheap souveniers for Amy and Blanche suggests that she should have brought back a shirt that said, ‘Remember me? I’m your mother.’ (comedy!)

Feeling a bit guilty about the reprimand she’s getting from the family, especially when Ken says she’s putting herself and Charlie Stubbs ahead of Amy – she proudly announces that she will have Amy back and Charlie’s place faster than you can say, ‘negligent parent’.

Her solution? She leaves an empty home pregnancy test box lying around for Mr. Stubbs to find. I’m guessing this is to warm Charlie’s heart at the thought of being a Papa knowing that if there’s one kid on the way, he’ll welcome back Steve’s offspring.

So she’s an idiot.

On a side note, Moley is back on the scene and is friendly to Tracey – kind of.

The Big Story
Mike is in really bad shape and Leanne (I have to say I might agree with her) suggests that he might need to go into a home where he can get better care. Danny disagrees (I’m sure out of guilt) and says that they will be able to handle Mike.

I don’t think so. Mike wakes up very angry demanding his car keys and wants to know why Danny and Leanne won’t go home. He’s more confused and I’m sure he’s going to get angrier and perhaps a bit violent…so I’m kind of on Leanne’s side on this issue.

Penny comes to visit and Danny and Leanne ask if she could watch Mike while they nip out for a bit of lunch together. Penny happily agrees and is eager to visit with Mike. When he sees her, he doesn’t recognize who she is and tells her she has to leave before Alma comes home. When she tells him Alma is dead, he ends up chucking her out and goes looking for his car keys.

He finds his keys along with pictures of him and Alma and then…oops him and Penny. He’s upset about the fact that he didn’t recognize someone he obviously knows and takes off in his car towards Coronation street.

Once on the street, he starts looking into the Rovers (and the cameramen do a very nice job of producing a very confused scene by jumbling up the focus and angle of the camera). He sees a woman come out of the pub that he thinks is Alma and she turns around he is hurt to find that she isn’t.

Ken comes to the rescue and takes him into his house for tea. Mike talks about Alma, asks if he knows who Penny , tells that he’s not allowed to sleep in his own bed because Danny and Leanne won’t let him. He then goes out to look at his car and comes back to tell Ken that someone is trying to steal it.

Ken calls Danny and Leanne to tell them that Mike is there and they come pick him up.

Next day, Mike is back at Weatherfield pounding on the door of the factory trying to get in and upset that the lock has been changed. Sean comes out of the house and gets Mike back into his place for some coffee.

Once inside, Mike asks, ‘Is this my mother’s place?’ and Sean explains where they are and asks Mike about his family.

He then calls Danny to tell him where Mike. Danny arrives and tells Mike who Leanne is, and Mike snaps at him that he knows who she is and accuses him of stealing his business. Mike calms him down by offering to show him the books, etc. and tells him they’re going him. Danny makes a dig at Sean asking him why he brought Mike back to his house.

Later, at the factory, the team approaches Danny about what is happening, concerned fro their jobs. Danny initially blows up at them, but later apologizes and reassures them that everything is okay as he has power of attorney so the business is safe as house. He also makes a point of apologizing to Sean and thanking him for taking care of Mike.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Update - December 6, 2006 - An Offer You Can Refuse Edition

Leave the Gun, Take the Cannoli

Fizz is thinking about taking kickboxing classes at the local community college. Maria spots them and bothers Kirk about his attire, saying it won't local professional if he goes to the bank looking like that. Kirk logically points out that he's a professional dog handler.

Maria takes matters into her own hands and takes Kirk off to the salon for a hosing down and a bit of manscaping. Fizz meanwhile starts feeding Kirk lines to use at the bank, including "Diversify or die!"

At the bank, the manager asks why he would take money from a good business, the dog kennel, and put it into a risky one like a salon. After all, dog kennels are specialised and his in particular makes a nice profit. Most new businesses fail and salons are ten a penny, which is British for "a dime a dozen."

Kirk clumsily tries to throw out some of the lines Fizz fed to him.

"We have to diversify or you die!" Kirk says. "That's the message I was asked to give you."

The bank manager suddenly looks afraid and asks if Kirk is threatening him. Given his shiny silver suit and purple shirt, Kirk does have a look of the gangster about him, albeit a dimwitted one. Kirk assures the manager he couldn't punch his way out of a paper bag. It's Fizz who is the aggressive one.

In the Rover's, Maria is telling Violet, who's wearing a most fetching red and white striped blouse that complements her new hairstyle in a most attractive way, all about her plans for the new salon. She has every detail worked out: the ambiance, the decor, the uniforms.

No details about a business plan or anything. Seriously, do either Kirk or Maria even know how to work Excel?

Kirk arrives dejected. He tells Maria the bank turned him down. He says he tried his best but Maria says that her idea of best and his must be two different things.

Fizz meanwhile is angry that her kickboxing class has been cancelled and replaced with a belly dancing class. Kirk mishears this as "ballet dancing."

And I would walk 500 miles..

Claire and Ashley are talking about Matt Ramsden. Ashley is still taking things out on Claire but she things they should at least talk and not let things fester. Claire asks him to come home to dinner.

At the butcher's Ashley is angrily chopping meat and Fred tells him it's too thick and to stop acting like a turd.

"Whose side are you on?" Ashley asks.

"JOSHUA'S OF COURSE," Fred replies, adding that his grandson has picked up that something is wrong around home. "HE'D HAVE TO BE DEAF, DUMB, AND BLIND NOT TO!"

Just then the phone rings. It's th'hospickle! Claire's been admitted with high blood pressure and Ashley dashes off.

At the hospital, Claire is hooked up to a heart monitor. She says that Ashley has lost the fight in him and Claire's trying to fend off the Ramsdens all by herself. They need to stay together on this and keep their feet on the ground. Her sudden hospicklisation was a warning.

Ashley decides that the best thing to do is to run away to Scotland (Canada's too expensive, apparently). They decide they're going to leave the day after Joshua's birthday.


At Mike's flat, the doctor has called and wants to make appointment for Mike's surgery results. Danny sets one up for later in the day and leaves Mike in the care of Leanne.

Later, Mike is semi-shaving and looking at a bunch of coins in a jar. He thinks Leanne has been stealing from it. Leanne comes out to help him with the shaving and protecting his coin jar, he spills some water all over her dry-clean only slacks. She goes to change and Mike, in his pajamas, goes out the door.

Mike turns up at the factory and brings Sean into his office with an offer of a glass of scotch, asking him for the phone number of the girl with the long hair. Not knowing what to do about Mike, the employees call Jamie for help (Joanne has his number).

Later, Danny is trying to remind Mike of the power of attorney he signed over to him the day before. This is news to Jamie who quickly catches on that it's all about Danny getting control of the factory and its profits. Jamie takes Mike to the cafe for a coffee.

There, Mike flirts with Vera, who gives him one of Jack's shirts. She says it's not much but at least he won't look like ...

"A reject from 'Bedknobs and Broomsticks?'" Danny asks.

On their way out, Mike insists on driving to the doctor's. When they get there, the doctor, who looks like Ana Marie Cox, tells him the bad news: they believe it's Alzheimer's Disease. While it's not curable, it is treatable but he he will die with it, but not of it.

Further, if he wishes to drive, he needs to advise the motor board and his insurer. Mike throws his keys on the table.

"There, cut me legs off, why don't you?!"

Who's this Alf Roberts, Then?


(From the following sources, Corrienet, Wikipedia and me own noggin.)

Alf Roberts (played by Brian Mosley), born Oct 8, 1926 originally appeared on Corrie working at the post office with Ken's dad. He was an on and off again character until 1963, then back in 1971 as a regular on the show.

He worked at the post office as a supervisor and was married to Phyllis Plant, who was originally supposed to marry his brother. However, his brother was killed in a car accident caused by Alf, so he married Phyllis instead. That marriage worked out just as happy as one might expect and she died of cancer in 1978.

Bring on Renee who owns the corner shop at that time. Alf and her get married in 1978 even though her dad thinks he's marrying her for her money because she ain't that hot in the looks department. (Again, I SWEAR that is Reg Holdsworth in drag.)

Alf is injured when a lorry crashes into the pub and it is then decided that they will buy a sub post office for him to work at while she runs the store.

More lorry difficulties pop up when Renee's car stalls in the middle of a one way street. Alf gets out of the car to go over to the drivers seat, but too late as a lorry smashes into the car and kills Renee.

Alf then inherits the shop and becomes one of Weatherfield's movers and shakers. He's on the council, he's part of the Weatherfield Association of Retail Traders (WARTS) and of course the Square Dealers.

Alf and Audrey hook up and are very much in love and he seems to be the one to bring our Audrey down to earth. She was a much different lady than we see today and I always remember how there was a constant struggle between her spending the money on frocks, etc. and he trying to save it. They do splurge. however, on a nice posh place on Grasmere Drive. (The place where Audrey lives now and where Fred got stuck in a hole in her backyard.)

Alf becomes Mayor of Weatherfield and Audrey is Mayoress for a bit until Alf fires her for being a flibbertygibbet and hands over the position to Betty Turpin. There is a great bit where the Mayor of Weatherfield's sister city in France comes to visit and Audrey makes a point of letting everyone know that 'Mayoress Betty' is not Alf's wife.

Alf also goes on to be awarded the OBE for services to the community. His health fails and he dies in January, 1999 after a New Year's party and birthday bash for grandson Nicky.

Sadly, Brian Mosley died the following month after suffering a fatal stroke.

Alf was always one of my favorite characters and I loved the way he and Audrey played off of each other. If you ever get a chance to catch some of the old Corrie on Country Canada, do yourself a favour and see what a great character he was. (Maybe we can convince TinyVi to post some Alf material?)

One interesting thing I learned off of Wikipedia is that Brian Mosley arranged the stunt for Renee's car accident.

(Bryan Mosley, who played Alf, arranged this excellent stunt sequence himself. An accomplished stunt man - belying his appearance - he presented his own annual stunt award at RADA. He often arranged stunts on television and films under the name Buddy Windrush)

Very cool, and gives me even more reason to love the man behind Alf Roberts.