Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Update - November 22, 2006 - Don't Make Her Angry Edition

The Webster Family: Kevin, Sally, Rosie, and That Other One

Sophie returns from fetching the paper and milk to arrive at breakfast. She discovers there's no cereal and manages to fix Kevin's mobile. Meanwhile, Sally is dealing with the latest crisis of Rosie and the Menace of Craig's Penis but it's nothing a little more private education can't fix as she hands her a brochure from Rosa Cootes' Correctional Academy for Wayward Gentlewomen Melrose Boarding School for Girls. Yes, an all-female environment should certainly cure Rosie of her burgeoning sexuality. What could possibly happen?

But Kevin says they can't afford a boarding school, let alone Orc Hill. Sophie complains that everything in the Webster house is All! About! Rosie! and storms off. But before Sally can say, "Wait. Who was that again?" Kevin runs after her.

He finds her in Roy's and buys her a breakfast to make up for the lack of food at home. Sophie admits that she doesn't mind the attention Sally pays Rosie as it means Sophie can spend more time with Kevin.

Later, as they lay on the chesterfield, listening to two-chord depressing music, Rosie complains to Craig that the new school is in the middle of nowhere. Craig says after losing his family, that he wouldn't be able to take it if he lost Rosie, too. Rosie promises she won't go and they cry together.

Two Koo-Koo Birds in Love

As Nathan leaves Frankie's, she receives a letter addressed to Danny. Over breakfast (the missus: "What? No wine?"), Jamie says he doesn't mind Nathan staying over when, after all, Jamie's totally not attracted to his step mother so why should he mind if she brings strapping young men home for rumpy-pumpy?

Danny is sacked out on the chesterfield in his flat as Leanne hobbles out to ask why he didn't come to bed last night. She tries to be supportive but he brushes her off.

Later at Roy's, Danny wanders in to talk to Frankie. The conversation is awkward and strained so he orders a cake and leaves.

Ta ra, Janice

If wasn't for the fact that it happened at her apartment, Janice would be doing the Walk of Shame right now. Les is trying to keep up with her, lighting her fag, and reminiscing about their night of pasty, pudgy-fleshed passion, comparing it to riding a bike. Janice is offended until Les clarifies - you never forget all the right moves. Les wouldn't call Janice the town bike - that would be Cilla. Or Sarah-Lou.

Janice meets Fizz and admits to her that her and Les' bodies became intertwined in an explosion of ginger hair, nicotine stains, the scent of lager and Blue Stratos. After throwing up a little in her mouth, Fizz worries the effect infidelity will have on Chesney, should the Battersby-Brown brigade be broken up. Janice is offended that all Fizz can think about is Chesney and stalks off where she finds Leanne in what appears to be the bistro section of the Rover's.

There, they commiserate about their problems: Danny's moodiness over the divorce and Janice's life generally gone to Hell and sleeping with Les. So they do what any two self-respecting Englishwomen would do: they get blootered.

In the street, Fizz sees Les and gives him what for over sleeping with Janice. Cilla, seeing the argument, feels her shrew-sense going off and comes over to investigate. She says she knows something is up and when she finds out what, she'll get angry and Les has not seen her angry.

In the Rover's Janice contemplates leaving Weatherfield as she thinks there is nothing left to keep her there. Danny comes in, sees a drunk Leanne, and turns around and leaves. Sally then comes in and Janice starts tossing peanuts at her.

Sally warns her not to throw anymore if she will be angry. Jack and Fred quietly take bets.

Janice throws one any way and, in a dignified manner, Sally gives her a right hook to the jaw. Jack wins the bet: "Lived 'round here longer than you have, Fred."

Sally leaves as Les and Cilla come in. Janice complains that she's lost her friends and her job and if that weren't bad enough, she ended up in bed with a witless waste of space like Les. She tells Cilla she hasn't taught him a thing. Cilla is furious: "You had a shower and all this morning!"

Later, Fizz finds Janice lugging her bags to the bus stop. She's going to leave and see Toyah. She noted the look on everyone's face when Sally hit her, a look that said she had it coming. She pulls out the ornament Leanne bought her, saying it was the only thing of value she's ever had. She claims she'll never come back and, calling Fizz by her proper name, Fiona, they hug. The Janice drops her ornament, breaking it in two. She climbs aboard the bus and pulls out of Weatherfield, forever it seems.

In Other News

  • Hayley makes Roy realise that she haven't been spending much time together, thanks to his model train hobby. Roy makes amends by transforming the café into a romantic bistro with "Lara's Theme" from Dr. Zhivago on the radio and all. Hayley goes upstairs to get changed, only to find Clifford, with more plans, in the café with Roy trying to usher him out. Hayley says she just got a call from her Uncle Wilf, who's had a bad fall. She needs to go to him at once.
  • Dr Matt Ramsden: still stalking Joshua.
What do you think? Is Janice really gone for good? And just how much doo-doo is Les in now?

16 comments:

Maude_Lynn said...

Oh my gosh! That's the very first comic book I ever bought you have pictured there!

Aw, I hope that's not the last we see of Janice. That was really touching, her parting moment with Fiona (trashy she may be, but Cilla displays remarkably good taste when it comes to naming children).

missusmac said...

What a coincidence. That's the very first comic book cover I ever posed for!

Nawwww, I'm joking. Except for the green-tinged complexion, there isn't much resemblance.

How much trouble is Les in? Whoooa. This is gonna be good. How much groveling Les are we in for? Somone's sleeping in the tanning bed, and it ain't gonna be Cilla.

Rob Swizzle said...

If that was Janice's final appearance on the show, what a terrific exit.

Maude_Lynn said...

Hee-hee! Well, I think it's a lovely shade of green!

Speaking of unnatural complexions, the tanning bed's off limits, I reckon - heaven forbid, he might still be in there when Cilla needs to use it - that sexy orange glow requires daily upkeep, after all!

Les shall be sleeping with Schmeichel.

Debbie said...

The bistro section of the Rovers. HA!

That scene with Craig and Rosie on the couch killed me! Where did they find that music? At that point they totally nailed the over dramatic emotions of the fifteen year old goth.

I think Janice will be back.

GoBetty said...

I shall miss Janice... she is really screechy and has terrible fits and tantrums and I just loved her. And Fiz looked really beautiful when she was crying saying goodbye... (I'm being serious).

mrsgreen said...

I don't think it'll be the last we see of Janice. But she'll probably be off for a while getting her life sorted out.

Maybe she'll come back all shiny and new with a good job and money.

At the time I was thinking that it might be all for her but I can't believe that they'd send her off the show without a little bit more fanfare. Leanne didn't even see her off.

John said...

Maude-Lynn (I finally got your handle: "maudlin," heh), I never understood that cover - is that young woman She-Hulk's secret identity or is she some random person who is about to get killed by She-Hulk?

I used to like Janice but the writers made her into such ugly person that I'm not sad to see her go. If she does come back, hopefully she'll be a less depressed and nasty person (but still mouthy - I liked that part of her).

Maude_Lynn said...

You are correct, John, that's the woman who transforms into She-Hulk, Bruce Banner's cousin Jennifer Walters.

...Dear Lord, I'm a nerd.

Rob Swizzle said...

There was something very real about Janice's deterioration. When her brash charm stopped working, she tried to be brasher and ruder, a viscious circle.

Maybe Danny's ex Carol needs a roommate. Janice and her could have big ol' pity party every night.

papasmurf said...

All of us in here have an inner nerd Maudlin.

I collect smurfs.

Anonymous said...

I don't think Janice is gone gone. I think she's gone for an interim period. I'd hate to see her go. I liked her until the last couple of months. Terrific scene with her and Fizz.

I thought Cilla was incredibly restrained last night. I had a finger on the volume button, because I was certain she was going to screech so loudly and so piercingly that dogs a block away would start barking. It won't last though. Les is going to be reeeaaalllly sorry.

Michigander Fan

Debbie said...

I have a question: Does Warren know about Danny and Leanne?

John said...

Maude_Lynn, I can do you one better in the nerd stakes:

Jennifers Walters is currently practising law and representing super-heroes, sometimes in her She-Hulk form, sometimes not. She is also engaged to John Jamieson, ex-astronaut, part-time werewolf, and son of J. Jonah Jamieson.

JJJ is, of course, the former employer of Peter Parker, who was fired by the Daily Bugle when he revealed his identity as Spider-Man to the world. JJJ and She-Hulk were recently investigating the possibility of suing him for fraud for years of selling photos of himself to the paper.

Maude_Lynn said...

Hahaha, wow, John, that's impressive! If anyone is well-equipped to handle J. Jonah Jamieson as a father-in-law, it's She-Hulk. But she's really going to help him sue Spider-Man? That's terrible! They were in the Avengers together and everything!

Aw thanks, Papasmurf. Nowt wrong with collecting Smurfs! I bet they're even worth a pretty penny nowadays!

Anonymous said...

I have an attic chock full of smurf items I have collected since the early '80's papasmurf! I even have my ceramic smurf mushroom bank still full of pennies from that time on my dressing table! I just love them to bits! I also have 24 collectable smurf drinking glasses that I got at an Arby's Roast Beef Restaruant!
Cheers!