Sophie returns from fetching the paper and milk to arrive at breakfast. She discovers there's no cereal and manages to fix Kevin's mobile. Meanwhile, Sally is dealing with the latest crisis of Rosie and the Menace of Craig's Penis but it's nothing a little more private education can't fix as she hands her a brochure from
But Kevin says they can't afford a boarding school, let alone Orc Hill. Sophie complains that everything in the Webster house is All! About! Rosie! and storms off. But before Sally can say, "Wait. Who was that again?" Kevin runs after her.
He finds her in Roy's and buys her a breakfast to make up for the lack of food at home. Sophie admits that she doesn't mind the attention Sally pays Rosie as it means Sophie can spend more time with Kevin.
Later, as they lay on the chesterfield, listening to two-chord depressing music, Rosie complains to Craig that the new school is in the middle of nowhere. Craig says after losing his family, that he wouldn't be able to take it if he lost Rosie, too. Rosie promises she won't go and they cry together.
Two Koo-Koo Birds in Love
As Nathan leaves Frankie's, she receives a letter addressed to Danny. Over breakfast (the missus: "What? No wine?"), Jamie says he doesn't mind Nathan staying over when, after all, Jamie's totally not attracted to his step mother so why should he mind if she brings strapping young men home for rumpy-pumpy?
Danny is sacked out on the chesterfield in his flat as Leanne hobbles out to ask why he didn't come to bed last night. She tries to be supportive but he brushes her off.
Later at Roy's, Danny wanders in to talk to Frankie. The conversation is awkward and strained so he orders a cake and leaves.
Ta ra, Janice
If wasn't for the fact that it happened at her apartment, Janice would be doing the Walk of Shame right now. Les is trying to keep up with her, lighting her fag, and reminiscing about their night of pasty, pudgy-fleshed passion, comparing it to riding a bike. Janice is offended until Les clarifies - you never forget all the right moves. Les wouldn't call Janice the town bike - that would be Cilla. Or Sarah-Lou.
Janice meets Fizz and admits to her that her and Les' bodies became intertwined in an explosion of ginger hair, nicotine stains, the scent of lager and Blue Stratos. After throwing up a little in her mouth, Fizz worries the effect infidelity will have on Chesney, should the Battersby-Brown brigade be broken up. Janice is offended that all Fizz can think about is Chesney and stalks off where she finds Leanne in what appears to be the bistro section of the Rover's.
There, they commiserate about their problems: Danny's moodiness over the divorce and Janice's life generally gone to Hell and sleeping with Les. So they do what any two self-respecting Englishwomen would do: they get blootered.
In the street, Fizz sees Les and gives him what for over sleeping with Janice. Cilla, seeing the argument, feels her shrew-sense going off and comes over to investigate. She says she knows something is up and when she finds out what, she'll get angry and Les has not seen her angry.
In the Rover's Janice contemplates leaving Weatherfield as she thinks there is nothing left to keep her there. Danny comes in, sees a drunk Leanne, and turns around and leaves. Sally then comes in and Janice starts tossing peanuts at her.
Sally warns her not to throw anymore if she will be angry. Jack and Fred quietly take bets.
Janice throws one any way and, in a dignified manner, Sally gives her a right hook to the jaw. Jack wins the bet: "Lived 'round here longer than you have, Fred."
Sally leaves as Les and Cilla come in. Janice complains that she's lost her friends and her job and if that weren't bad enough, she ended up in bed with a witless waste of space like Les. She tells Cilla she hasn't taught him a thing. Cilla is furious: "You had a shower and all this morning!"
Later, Fizz finds Janice lugging her bags to the bus stop. She's going to leave and see Toyah. She noted the look on everyone's face when Sally hit her, a look that said she had it coming. She pulls out the ornament Leanne bought her, saying it was the only thing of value she's ever had. She claims she'll never come back and, calling Fizz by her proper name, Fiona, they hug. The Janice drops her ornament, breaking it in two. She climbs aboard the bus and pulls out of Weatherfield, forever it seems.
In Other News
- Hayley makes Roy realise that she haven't been spending much time together, thanks to his model train hobby. Roy makes amends by transforming the café into a romantic bistro with "Lara's Theme" from Dr. Zhivago on the radio and all. Hayley goes upstairs to get changed, only to find Clifford, with more plans, in the café with Roy trying to usher him out. Hayley says she just got a call from her Uncle Wilf, who's had a bad fall. She needs to go to him at once.
- Dr Matt Ramsden: still stalking Joshua.