Friday, September 15, 2006
Survey Says Update
Things that Might Make Family Christmas Even Bigger Hell
The Barlow/McDonald Christmas is in full swing as 45 people sit around a table 1’ in diameter. We got Ken, Deidre, Tracey, Amy, Liz, Disco Stu, Steve, Moley and best of all Blanche.
They start some game that involves a toy bomb that you pass around while everyone tries to think up items in a specific category. This goes as well as expected with lots of snipping and Tracey determined to win by any means possible.
Events improve, however, when the doorbell rings.
“Hey everyone, look who it is! Satan!’
Yeah, Charlie joins the love in and Deidre actually tells Tracey that he has to leave. Tracey puts up an argument to why he is allowed to stay and it's left at that with Tracey and Charlie warm in the glow of a smirk.
Oh, it turns out that Disco Stu's band is called, 'Rock Rhythm Rascals'. I repeat, that's 'Rock Rhythm Rascals'.
Things That Make You Call 911
Cilla and Lana decide to give the turkey cooking another try and go all southern U.S. by deep frying the turkey at the Chippys.
They leave the turkey in the deep fryer for an hour and walk away leaving it unattended. They come back for the Christmas bird, but it turns out the fire department got there first.
Yup, Cilla’s managed to burn down the Chippys.
Thinks That Make You Drink – Part 1
Carol decides to really tie one on at the Clock and gets more and more slurred. Eddie (is that his name) goes along with it – even when she walks over to the happy Baldwin table to tell Danny what she really thinks about him (thank GOD someone finally had the balls to tell Danny that he’s an ass).
She causes a scene and everyone practically begs her to stop – Eddie is being pretty supportive and Leanne calls Jamie to come collect her. Frankie and Jamie do manage to get her out and at that point Eddie washes his hands of her. Frankie makes sure that Danny knows this is all his fault.
Things That Make You Buy Cigars
Fred and Ashley tease Claire about forgetting the anniversary gift for Ashley. (Has it been a year already since Claire and Ashley married?)
She didn’t forget though…her gift is procreation. Yep, she’s pregnant and they’ll be ginger haired babies all around.
As sweet as the announcement is, I still think she owes him a real gift from the shop.
Oh, and Fred cried.
Things That Make You Think of an O.Henry Short Story
Jack presents Vera with the mug of great grandpa Edward and she gives her gift to him, a burial plot.
The burial plot is kind of useless since Jack sold his body to that artist to get the mug. Apparantly that means his corpse too.
Vera tells him to get a refund.
Thanks That Make You Drink – Part 2
After Carol is hauled off in a hail of drunken ‘home truths’, Viv shows up to share dinner with the rest of the family.
Mike looks at her and says, ‘Where’s Harry?’ This shocks the entire family, but Mike keeps going on about why Harry is late.
Danny must be as thick as a brick, because it doesn’t even dawn on him that Mike might be sick. He gets angry at Mike thinking this is all some sort of practical joke. Finally, Penny tells Mike that Harry died which upsets him.
Penny, Danny and Mike go off to the side where Penny tells Mike that he needs to get some medical attention. Mike says that he needs to take a walk and she reluctantly lets him go.
Okay, brace yourself people. This was a really god awful scene, especially for those of us who remember Mike as the lion he was.
Rosie and Craig come across Mike sitting on the steps of the factory in tears. They ask him what’s wrong and he won’t answer, he keeps crying. Finally, Jamie arrives and says he’ll take care of it.
Jamie sits down with Mike and asks him what’s wrong.
Mike tells him that he went for a walk but can’t remember how to get back to either the restaurant or home. He tells him how he couldn’t remember that his brother was dead and that when he looked around the table, he couldn’t remember anyone’s names. He also confided that this memory loss is happening a lot and that it’s getting worse.
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!