A Basket Full of Guilt (And Hopefully No STD’s)
Craig seems quite fine with having popped his cherry, but Rosie wakes up with a case of raging morning after guilt. She's freaking out and Craig tries to sneak her out the back door. Unfortunately Keith’s trying to get Audrey out much the same way. Audrey and Rosie run for cover while Craig and Granddad have a real blowout, Granddad struggling to make a valid argument while Craig cries hypocrite.
Later at the Salon, Audrey tells Keith he has a responsibility to tell Rosie’s parents. She feels guilty over their own behavior. Perhaps it encouraged the kids? Keith replies, ‘He’s a randy 15 year old. He don’t need any encouragement from us!”
Audrey takes it upon herself to have a word with Rosie when she comes around a’ caroling. “It’s the girls who get caught when things go badly. They’re the ones left holding the baby.” Turns out Audrey knows because she was a mother by aged 16. The talk goes downhill when Rosie says she’d never be ‘a stupid slapper’ like her. Luckily for Rosie, Sally walks into the salon just then and for some incomprehensible reason, Audrey lets Rosie off the hook. “I’m all for giving folks a fighting chance, as Rosie now knows,” Audrey says, dropping coins into the charity bucket. Rosie thanks her quite sincerely.
Back at home, Craig and Granddad come to an understanding and make their apologies.
On the Second Day of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me,
Two Selfish Jerks and No Christmas for Little Amy?
Blanche drags Amy into Roy’s Rolls to find Tracy having coffee with Charlie. “You were a long time at the corner shop. You only went for milk. Why are you having coffee with the local builder?”
Charlie manipulates Tracy with the “I guess I’ll be pulling the Christmas cracker by myself” routine (er, was that a euphemism?) and perhaps Tracy could ditch the family for a yuletide bubble bath? Unfortunately, Steve talks tough to Tracy about having Amy around Charlie, which reminds Tracy of her real purpose in life: make Steve miserable. She intends to keep Amy away from him at Christmas. Charlie practically hits Steve over the head with the fact that he’s blowing what could have been a good situation for both of them.
Meanwhile, Blanche doesn’t think Tracy is so badly off with Charlie. “I’m sure that our Tracy can handle herself better than that fruit bat who’s meant to run the Rovers… she’s as weak as that tea. Put another bag in.” Then Blanche proceeds to show everyone their gifts so that she doesn’t have to return them and implies she’s already ruined the whole Father Christmas thing for Amy. Blanche McScrooge.
On the Third Day of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me,
One Flooded Flat and Enough Attitude for Three
Phil’s flat has been flooded and he’s relying on the kindness of strangers. Or maybe just the strange. He’s crashing at Gail’s and David is not impressed (You know, David used to be a funny kid. Now he’s just an ass).
Later, the police, much to Eileen’s amusement, haul David home. They caught him trying to break into Phil’s flat. He says he was just looking for Phil and Gail reassures the officer it’s true. But when she and Phil confront him, it becomes clear David was double-checking that Phil was really truly flooded out of his place. Gail gives him hell, sort of, and he apologizes, sort of. Later, Phil and Gail get into a fight about whether David is a “normal lad who’s had an abnormal experience,” or whether he’s just a manipulative little sod.
It’s not like things are so much rosier on across the street, however, as Eileen struggles with whether or not to tell Todd about Jason and Sarah. She does. Todd decides not to come for Christmas and Eileen is inconsolable, especially by the likes of Sarah. Christmas promises to be prickly.
On the Fourth Day of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me,
One Teenaged Daughter. Or, How the Street finds out about Amber:
Vera: Can you say that again in English?
Amber: Are you being racist?
Audrey: She’s being rudist.
Vera: No, the other thing.
Amber: FRAP-UH-CHINO. Yeah? And a double. Espresso. To, like, GO.
Vera: Look, we do coffee. Black or milky.
Amber: One of each. Me dad’ll pay. He’ll be in later.
Back at the store, Dev and Amber bicker. “This seventies footballer look in’t happening,” she says of his hair. Dev’s not impressed that she’s been telling everyone she’s his daughter. Especially when she calls him Dad in front of Tracy, who might actually be a kindred spirit to the young Miss Alahan.
Sunita flips out on Dev for flaunting his new ‘family’ in front of her. Dev turns on Amber in frustration, calling her “my dirty little secret, hanging around here like a bad smell.” Silently, Amber collects her things and leaves. He finds her at the bus station and insist on giving her a lift. Amber calls him on his AWOL behavior, then and now. She’s not about to let him get away with anything.
On the Fifth Day of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me,
One Cranky Christmas, and Something Weird with Frank and Jamie….
Jaime breaks it to Carol that he’s not into Christmas and besides, Frankie’s grumpy. Carol sulks and accepts Eric’s “second best offer” for Christmas dinner. At first, she thinks Frankie is selfishly hogging Jamie to herself. But then she sees them sitting together at the Rovers, laughing and teasing each other. She stares at them, realization dawning on her face. Carole stomps out of the Rovers, saying, “I know why they don’t want me there. I’ve been so blind.”
Some Extra Christmas Bobbles for Thee:
Vera wants something good for Christmas but Jack’s as clueless as ever. That is until Tyrone helps him remember “that Edward the VII’th Coronation Mug” he can’t afford. Only five shopping days left!
While Rosie’s busy slinking guiltily around her mom, Sophie’s after bosoms in the form of a really wonderful bra. “Three levels of padding from discrete to knockout.”
“'Ey!” says Sally, diving down Sophie’s shirt and pulling out wads of fabric, “Those are my best tights!”