Friday, September 01, 2006

Homeland Security Update

ANNOUNCEMENT – There will be no Corrie on Monday.


We’re On Red Alert
Mike and Adam on the track of the bugger who’s been stealing all the money from the firm. Fingers are firmly pointed at Danny until someone gets the idea that one of the factory workers might be lifting cheques.

Danny doesn’t quite believe that anyone out on the floor is quite up for the task of white collar embezzling, but nonetheless, Mike decides to crack down on security.

An announcement is made that bags will be checked whenever anyone leaves the factory AND when they come in. (Just in case they’re smuggling money INTO the business.)

The workers think it’s a drag but are not overly upset and Sean does a fabulous flaming impersonation of Adolf Margaret Hitler – until he says something about smörgåsbord and he is told ‘That’s Holland, not Germany.’

(Glacia pauses and is reminded of Mike Myers’ ‘If it’s not Scottish it’s crap’ skit. Smörgåsbord would be SWEDISH not DUTCH and that there’s a great bloody body of water between the two countries. End of rant.)

Oh, yeah…on with the story.

The only one who IS pissed is Haley and thinks that it’s disgusting the way they are being treated. Glacia completely agrees with Haley on this one and thinks this is much more of an issue to strike over than Janice’s big mouth.

At the end of the day Haley refuses to have her handbag inspected and Mike makes a grab for it. She yanks it away from him and he promptly sacks her.

Mike – you’re losing it.

Will You Still Love Me When I’m 104?
Audrey and Keef are an item de fabulous and enjoy a morning kissy-kissy in the kitchen when they are surprised to find Craig come down the stairs and flop out on the couch. Keef makes some lame ass excuse about why Audrey is there in the morning, but Craig seems nonplus about the geriatric love affair and in fact seems happy for gramps.

Blanche however……

Mrs. Hunt sees Audrey come out of Keef’s place with the same lavender frock on she wore the night before. Outraged that someone is having sex, Blanche makes her it mission to tell everyone on the street about what she saw and how much she disapproves.

It all comes to ahead when Betty says Mazel Tov to the happy couple on their night of passion. All eyes fall on Blanche for blabbing, but to be fair Betty says that she heard the gossip from Sean because “You know how the gays are for tittletattle.’

Um…I thought Betty was oblivious of Sean’s sexual prefence.

Not willing to leave well enough alone, Blanche starts to harangue Audrey until Audrey announces that she very happy and doesn’t care what anyone says. Keef seconds that and everyone in the pub cheers.

I’m very happy for Audrey.

Montagrimshaws and Capuplatts
Gayle bangs on Eileen’s door to confront her about the fact that Sarah spent the night with Jason at Chez Grimshaw.

Screaming harpey-fest ensues. My favorite exchange is,

‘Your Sarah has slept with half the men in Weatherfield.’
‘And Todd slept with the other half.’

I soooooooo wanted to see line delivered with Gayle snapping her fingers in the air in a ‘Z’ formation and sucking on her teeth.

Dr.Phil breaks them up and then tells Gayle that she’s acting childish. Gayle defends herself because he ‘doesn’t have children and wouldn’t understand’.

I love that line. Why doesn’t she just say that not having kids makes him a lesser human?

Show Me the Money!
Carol’s got her date with Eric who loves Carol because his mom was a cockney. (Calling Dr. Freud!)

Carol’s happy because with him she’s ‘Mad Carol’, ‘Cockney Carol’ – not drunk bedwetting Carol.

As she leaves for her date, a roll of money falls out of her purse, which she doesn’t notice, but Frankie does. She picks up the roll and tells Jamie about it later. Where did she get all this money and why isn’t she paying rent.

In other news

Dev’s offered Craig a job at the shop.

Llyod continues to try to seduce Kelly – and fails.

Deidre warns Tracey about dating Charlie because they’ll bring out the worse in each other.

Lloyd needs 10K and after hearing how Jack won 60K at the track one year, he is willing to learn from the Jedi Trackmaster. They decide to bet on some horse do to the fact that Frank Sinatra would be 90 that day. (Dec 12, 2005 – fyi)


kowy said...

Does Lloyd ever actually mention WHY he needs 10 grand? It seems an awful lot to just 'have to come up with'.

Also, were Keef and Audrey in SUCH throes of passion that they didn't notice the sound of Craig coming in the door in the middle of the night?

Jacqueline said...

i can't had something to do with that other chick he had on the side. Maybe it was money borrowed for the streetcars?

John said...

I thought had a tidy sum of money from some lotto an ex of his won years ago, which he used to buy Dev's share of Streetcars. Maybe the purchase hurt more financially than he let on. I'm missing something on that front...

(I semi-obsess over how much money these characters have. The older 60's shows seemed to have their characters much closer to abject poverty.)

Keith and Audrey didn't notice Craig coming in because he came in much later and they were worn out and in deep, old people sleep after their rigourous lovemaking.

I wonder if Keith borrowed Audrey's Polident?

papasmurf said...

I think Lloyd's story of an ex winning a lottery was a cover. He actually got the money from Tina (via her husband) - the woman he was two-timing on Kelly with. Tina tried to move in with LLoyd a short while back if memory serves me correctly.

papasmurf said...

If it's around Dcember 12 on the UK Coronation Street, and they show 4 episodes a week to our 5 episodes a week does that mean we will be in 'real' Weatherfield time at the end of March next year?

Steph said...

I doubt it, papasmurf. If anything, I imagine the gap will only get wider as time goes on, no? What with hockey and everything else? I just don't see us catching up, ever. :(

Anonymous said...

I believe 5 episodes are shown each week in Britain - so unless CBC gives us 2 episodes a night again, we can never catch up!

We all need to move to New Zealand - they now show 6 episodes a week and will soon be ahead of Canada!