Saturday, September 30, 2006

Nothing to do with Corrie - I Just Want To Tell the World

They are even MORE fabulous in real life.


Glacia: 'You guys are brilliant. My walls were builder's white. She (point to best friend) took me to builder's beige. But you took me to the promised land.

Colin and Justin: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaah!!! (arms waiving) Fabulous!!!!

They signed my book, signed a photo, let me get a pic taken. Just as I was about to step away I remembered a question and Justin was super, super nice about letting me ask the question and gave me an answer.

they are nothing short of gods.

Oh, and they wore kilts to the show.

My god, I had Colin and Justin's arms around me, I will never wash my sides again.

The I Hate Mondays Update

Kind of a painful post to do when you're all TGIFF.

Tell me why
I don’t like Mondays
Tell me why
I don’t like Mondays
Tell me why
I don’t like Mondays
I want to shoot…the whole day down

Gail hates Mondays and this one’s turning out to be extra pleasant, thanks to David. He couldn’t wash his hair because Phil was in the bathroom. He can’t eat his cereal because it’s made in Scotland, which is where Phil is from. And he certainly can’t wipe that foul look off his face because Phil is in the vicinity, breathing air.

At the shop, Dev is trying to restock shelves. He appears to seriously need his first coffee or a strong blow to the head as Amber is all talk-talk-talk. She doesn’t want to help out behind the counter like some Asian stereotype, she’s mad he doesn’t know her birthday, she would never buy him a present, she wants to be a fashion designer, her favourite subject is boys, and fine she’ll help out at the shop but he can just forget that minimum wage rubbish.

Out in the street, Amber tries to tell Sunita how much Dev’s been pining (and I thought she said she’d never get him anything!). Sunita doesn’t care one lick to hear it, though. She doesn’t want any of Dev’s help getting a double pram up the stairs, either. I think she’s missing a great opportunity. Make him your whipping boy, Sunita! That’ll learn ‘im.

Mondays are Blanche’s power days. She has things to do. Keith’s walking around delivering papers anyway so it makes perfect sense to her that he should walk the dog. He balks so she plays the broken hip card and off he goes, grumbling in his Keith-like way, dragging little Eckles.

Later, he is none too pleased to find Blanche enjoying herself at the salon. How could she just abandon a little dog, you ask? Perhaps because she’s the ghost of Tracy Future.

Craig and Rosie snatch a secret kiss in the alley and make plans to meet up after school at his house. Those two ought not tempt the Monday Gods, who can be particularly nasty.

Adam is taking leave of the factory. Danny laughs that if this is some sort of tactic to get Mike crawling after him, it’s not going to work because Adam’s not a woman. Adam warns Danny to stop manipulating “me dah”. Danny says Mike’s his Dad, too, suggesting, “I’ll do what I want,” then makes a crack about Adam’s accent being in incomprehensible. Adam says Danny has not seen the last of him. Danny warns him to keep looking over his shoulder.

Oh, and Ken’s pissed at Mike for chasing away his grandson. At the Rover’s, he has to remind Mike why Adam’s left and just how hard it’s going to be to get him back. Mike plays along, though he’s clearly confused about everything.

At the garage, Tyrone tells Molly about a “Surprise the Bride” competition advertised in the paper. Molly helps him fill out the form, but Tyrone struggles to find words to describe his feelings for Maria. Right. She’s beautiful. Got that. Could it be that Maria’s not going to win Girlfriend of the Year?

Well, at the Salon Maria is bashing Tyrone’s hairiness, so probably not. Audrey, Shelley and Sarah roll their eyes when Maria admits she only gave him a 20-quid voucher for Christmas when he had bought her loads in turn. Shelley says she always gave too much to the blokes in her life and was usually left with nothing.

Maria gets it. Sort of. You think she’s going to treat Tyrone right for once when she pulls him into the candlelit salon and tells him to strip. Oh, the eager, happy look on the poor boy’s face as he kicks off his pants (socks first next time, Tyrone)! Unfortunately, he doesn’t recognize the bowl of hot wax that Maria is mixing up.

Back at the Platt’s, you can practically see Phil’s brain working out how to broach the David subject. Rrrright, start wi’ me own moom. He tells Gail about how his mum used to cuff him when he got out of line. Gail is shocked and appalled, so Phil shifts the focus. He says just doesn’t want to see Gail disrespected. Gail reassures him that she’s been through it before with Sarah and Nick and it’s no big deal.

If I were Phil, I’d be having the conversation with Gail that goes, “look, lady, I’m on the verrrrge of leaving you and yer son is the very cause.” Instead, when Gail runs to fetch her precious son’s precious chips, Phil grabs David by the collar and shoves him up against the wall. That'll go over real well with Mother Hen.

It's just another manic Monday
I wish it was Sunday
'Cause that's my funday
My I don't have to runday
It's just another manic Monday

The End.

Friday, September 29, 2006


So, how would peeps feel about a new template for Corrie Canuck?

We've had this one around for a few years so I'm thinking a new one is in order.

Any thoughts, suggestiions?

Danny Burns-Baldwin

Danny contemplates his underhanded takeover of UnderWorld.

Late Update

Yeah, gratuitious Frisky Friday totty shot from Fredricks of Hollywood for the boys. YOU'RE WELCOMED!

Sophie's Choice
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway, Sophie has two choices, be a shit or don't. She is still whining about the Fredericks of Hollywood bra when doesn't Haley show up at the door.

Sophie immeidately starts in on her and when Haley tries to explain that she can relate to her bra/boobie trouble, Sophie makes an attack on Haley's transgenderness. It gets really nasty, but Haley takes it all in stride.

Finally she gives Sophie her present, a bra that she made for her and our favorite drama queen is all hugs for our favorite Haley.

(Oh, on a side note, I saw 'Transamerica' last night...very, very good stuff.)

David's Choice
David can be a shit or not, he chooses to be so.

He complains to Craig in the shop about Dr. Phil and Craig tells him to ease up on his mom. When Gayle comes into the shop, David smashes a bottle of (pickled eggs? not quite sure) and stomps off.

Later back at the ranch he tells Gayle that the reason Sarah is seeing Jason is because Gayle drove away Scooter. He says that Sarah will probably marry Jason and be miserable and it's all Gayle's fault.

Dr. Phil tells Gayle that she needs to relax and be firmer on the kids. He sends her upstairs for a bath while he cleans up the downstairs. David, meanwhile, blasts the music downstairs until Phil pulls out the plug. He tries to lay down the law to David and asks him to give his mom a break but there's even more delightful snottiness from David.

I'm amazed that Phil hasn't popped him one yet. If I remember from my own dealings with a Scottish gran, there must be a manual out there of Scottish parenting.

Chapter 1:
The look on that bairn's face? Skelp it oot him.

Chapter 2:
It does a bairn good tae be deined.

Come on Phil, step up to the tartan plate.

Fred's Choice
To go on the cruise or not.

He decides NOT to go on the cruise because he can barely resist telling Bev his true feelings as it is and to see her with the sea air dancing in her Aquanet sprayed hair would be more than any man could resist, I say, more than any man could resist.

Bev believes that he's not going on the trip because he doesn't fancy her.

An intervention is needed her, folks.

Feckle's Choice
To bite the hand that feeds her, or not.

Ken still has a bad relationship with the pooch but gets advice (good advice, btw) from Kirkeh about how he has to establish himself as top dog in the house. It works for a bit when Ken bribes her, but as soon as he turns his head, she bites him again.

Glacia's Choice
To give up on this lame ass title theme that's not really working.

Eileen ends up babysitting Bethany so that Jason and Sarah can go on a date. When Gayle sees Eileen and Bethany together she freaks saying that Eileen should be dissauding the two from dating.

Eileen replies that she's decided to not cause agro for her son and to do what makes him happy so that they can have a good relationship. She suggests that Gayle do the same.

Danny Baldwin is a .....
When Mike gets up in the morning, he can't remember what happened the night before and wonders why Adam is upset. When Adam reminds him, a lightbulb goes on inside Mike and he once again is convinced that Adam is sleeping with Penny and tells him to get out of the house.

Later in the pub, Mike wonders to Danny if he is imagining things and has aliented the two people closest to him. Danny assures Mike that his head is srewed on straight and that he did the right thing by chucking out Mark and Linda, I mean, Penny and Adam.

Mike says how he's going to try and mend the rift between him and Mark by sending a letter to Mark. Danny says, 'Good idea and if he doens't respond, you'll know he doesn't love you.'

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand he adds, 'Ere, why dont' I post that letter for you.' You can all guess what happened to the letter, right?

Oh, yeah, Adam moved into the spacious Barlow compound.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Update - September 27, 2006 - Promises Something for Everyone Edition

For the Cruise Lovers

Fred meets Bev in the street where they discuss the upcoming cruise. Fred is wondering about sleeping arrangements. Bev says the cabins are quite spacious these days.

"I just wondered if I was to be on top or on bottom."

Bev looks flummoxed.

"Bunk beds!" Fred adds.

Bev says she'll get a brochure.

In the Rovers, Ashley and Shelly tease Fred about the trip. Fred frets about the cruise as he doesn't want to ruin his friendship with Bev.

Later, Bev also worries about ruining her friendship with Fred. Later they look at the brochure and conclude that there is a parquet floor in the ballroom, good for dancing. The sleeping arrangements, remain unresolved.

For Dog Lovers

Deirdre is preparing for Lena's funeral when Blanche enters, wearing scarlet.

Deirdre is aghast: "Mother!" (take a drink)

Blanche explains that Lena and she had an arrangement that they would wear red to the funeral of whichever one of them went first.

'It's my two fingers up to The Grim Reaper,' she says. 'These days I feel like he's stood over my shoulder with a hunk of bread waiting to mop up my friends like the remnants of a gravy dinner.'

After the funeral, we discover what Lena has left to Blanche: a small terrier-mix named Lady Freckles.

Deirdre reminds Blanche of the cost of keeping a dog: vets bills (don't we know it!), food, etc. Blanche says Lena left a small fortune to keep Lady Freckles in the manner to which she is accustomed. She even eats out of a nice Staffordshire doggie bowl that's nicer than anything Deirdre has around the house.

Tracy has become particularly enchanted with the dog, lavishing more affection on her in five minutes than she ever gave her own daughter in two years.

Ken arrives home from the nudie bar library and is at first quite pleased with Lady Freckles (or Eccles, for short) until she bites him.

For Todd Lovers

Eileen and Jason are still rowing over Sarah-Lou. Jason reminds her that Todd didn't come home because he's moved on with his life, and not because he's mooning over Sarah.

Later Jason talks with Sean about moving out, needing his independence. Sean reminds him that independence means cleaning, cooking, ironing, hoovering, etc. Jason is suddenly rethinking this move.

Eileen talks to Todd in London and discovers he has a new "friend" with whom he has become so friendly, they're moving in together. Eileen realises that Todd's moved on with his life and so should she. She tells Jason it doesn't matter who he dates, it's none of her business. The deal is sealed with the Secret Grimshaw Handshake and the rift is healed.

For David Lovers Tolerators.

Gail discovers David playing violent video games in front of Bethany. She admonishes him. He acts like a little snot to her. Lather, rinse, repeat.

For Mike Lovers

Mike is having second thoughts about throwing Penny out. He also remembers that he wasn't a good father to Mark, and doesn't even know where he is now. Danny reminds him that Mark copped off with Mike's wife, Linda.

Outside, Danny sees Penny pulling up in her car. She wants to talk to Mike before her business meeting but Danny warns her off, claiming he'll still be angry for a few days yet. Adam appears and says Mike has now taken to calling him 'Mark.' Danny suggests she take Adam to her meeting to which she agrees and so they leave without seeing Mike.

Later in the Rover's, Danny tells Leanne he's worried about Mark, or any other Baldwin heirs coming out of the woodwork. He worries that one minute Mike is as sharp as a knife, and the next, daft as a brush.

Mike enters, looking for Adam. Danny says all he knows is Penny came by and she and the Flying Scotsman took off together.

Later in the Rover's Adam talks about moving out of the flat and Penny offers to help with the deposit.

Suddenly Mike appears and accuses the two of them of having an affair, calling Penny 'Linda.'

He grabs Adam as Danny tries break it up. But Mike will have none of it.

'As for you! I never want to see you again!' he says to Penny before turning to Adam. 'And as for you, get out of my flat and get out of my factory!'

Suddenly, Danny's face is underlit as he tents his fingers, turns to the camera, and quietly exclaims, 'Excellent!'

I Hate Blogger. I HATE Blogger. I Hate BLOGGER

What in the name of Chesney is going on with Blogger? The Corrie Canuck content ain't loading at all, and over at my other blogs my updates are taking DAYS to appear on the good old 'net. WTF? How can something free let me down so hard? Oh, and the words "blog", "blogs", and "blogger" are not even recognized by Blogger's spell checker. Hilarious.

Can You Say That Rightly?

My scheaming/skinny mistake has put me in mind of this week's Get Fuzzy.





Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Update - September 25, 2006 - The Naked Truth Edition

The Naked Ape

Jack and Tyrone are enjoying a fry-up in the cafe when Vera comes in accusing Jack of ... something. He's bathed twice this week but he hasn't changed his underwear since Saturday so she can rule out a new fancywoman. When she leaves, Jack tells Tyrone that he's posing as a nude model in Hillary Saunders' art class. He fears he may be getting cold feet. Tyrone suspects that his feet won't be the only things gettting cold.

At the art class, Jack tells Hillary he's having second thoughts, claiming his once magnificent body isn't what it used to be. Hillary says that's the best part, it looks "lived in." (If that's the case, I could make a fortune posing for art classes) She tells him not to let the girls down. Jack poses before the all-female class as they all, all, take out their glasses for a closer look. Jack relaxes and begins posing for them

At the end of the class, Jack takes a look at one of the student's creations: an abstract drawing of him which looks rather Picassoesque. Hillary compliments the student on her use of movement. She tells him it's symbolic.

"So I've sat there symbolic naked, have I?" he retorts. Price for his troubles: 50 quid.

Later at the Rover's Jack tells Vera he spent the evening at his friend's posh shed at the allotments where they played dominos by the stove. Wait - is this community gardening or ice-fishing? When's she gone, Jack tells Tyrone that the girls said England still has a lot to be proud of.

The Naked Civil Servant

(Wait. Does that title work? Does Gail work for NHS?)

Gail is having a hard time with the kids this morning. Sarah is trying to get Phil to babysit Bethany while David is demanding Gail take time out of her morning to iron his shirt and wot? No chocolate bar in his lunch for school? It's like the Third World 'round here.

Later, Phil says Gail should get the kids to help out with the housework, to take some of the load of her. She says they've had a hard time of it lately. Hell, I used to help out with the chores when our domestic servants were in their immigration hearings so I understand doing your bit when the house is going through an undue hardship.

David bursts in, demanding his tea. Gail says she'll start making it right away but David can't wait and demands money to go to the chippie. She gives it to him. I guess Wong's got rebuilt pretty quickly. Phil thinks she's being too soft.

The Naked Goths

Sophie is complaining that she's the only girl in her class without a bra but Kevin and Sally have bigger fish to fry: namely keeping Rosie as far away as possible from Craig's penis, lest she fall on it again. They're grounding her for the next week.

At the factory, Sally apologises to Hayley (damn right!) and suggests a solution to the Sophie Webster Bra Shortage. We don't hear what it is but, gee, they do work in an underwear factory.

Later, Craig and Rosie have a Romeo and Juliet moment as he climbs a ladder on the brick wall in her backyard. From her window, Rosie professes her love for him. And brick wall safely keeps their genitals separated.

The Naked, well, People Who Want to be Naked

Jason wants Eileen to babysit Bethany so he and Sarah-Lou can have a night out. She refuses. He says she would have done it for Todd, her favourite. She said, at one time she could have seen those two with a future together, before the gay thing. She thinks Jason and her have no future together.

At the Rover's, Eileen confides to Sean that she doesn't want things to come between her and Jason so she heads back to make amends. She arrives to find Sarah, Bethany, and Jason having a night in. She is displeased. Jason leaves with Sarah-Lou and Bethany.

The Naked Truth

Mike is searching the flat for Penny. Adam reminds him of last night, saying this proves Penny is right that Mike needs help. Mike shrugs it off, claiming Penny will return, begging him to take her back.

Meanwhile at Danny's, he continues to moan about the lion's share of the business being left to the "tartan jockstrap" Leanne is more interested in the cash in Danny's wallet so she can go shopping.
At the factory, Mike and Adam come in arguing over Penny. Adam is trying to get Mike to call her and apologise, telling him that Penny is the best thing to happen to him in years. Danny comes out to make peace but Adam says Danny just tells Mike what he wants to hear. Adam storms off.

Leanne shows up with her shopping, including what appears to be the same Victorian bodice Sarah-Lou got for Jason. She also bought a nice top for Janice. She tells Danny she got something for him but he'll have to see it later as she's wearing it.

Later, Danny just got a big new order for the factory. Mike isn't all that happy because he's remembered that Penny turned down his proposal because she thinks he's losing it. He pulls out one his engagement rings out of his pocket. He tells Danny to give it to "whatshername." Isn't this the engraved ring? I can't keep track.

Later in his flat, Danny is recounting the day's event: the Scotch Egg and Mike are on the outs, Penny turned down his proposal, Danny scored a big contract, and Leanne gets another woman's engagement ring (to be worn on another finger). Leanne then allows Danny to see his present as the credits roll.

How vile is Danny being over this? And is anyone keeping tabs on his nicknames for Adam?

Oh the Agony Update

I really do think the writers are outdoing themselves lately and I’m not sure which story line I love more the Rosie/Craig romance or the Mike Baldwin tragedy. Very smart writing and superb acting all around.

How about ‘Agador Sparticus’?
Sean and Violet are still talking about the child they want to produce in 5 years and offer up names like Hamish Algernon or Lucrecia Lilly.

Violet seems sufficiently scared by this prospect and I think both parties realize that the 2011 baby may not happen.

Just as things get too sad, Jack pops his head around the corner to ask Sean for some assistance. He would like to use some tanning lotion in order to not be pastey white for his portrait sitting.

Jack being Jack of course, overdoes it on the lotion and comes back into the Rovers looking like an orange lobster. Vera is furious because she believes he’s grooming himself for a fancy lady.


And Sally’s a Bitch
Gayle after hearing about the Rosie affair from Audrey heads over to Sally’s house to offer some advice and words of comfort. Gayle is actually a decent human being here because she has practical advice as a mother from the land of ‘been there, done that’.

She tells Sally how heartbroken and worried she was when Sarah became pregnant, etc., etc. Sally responds with, ‘Yeah, but Rosie’s different, she’s an academic.’ (Not like your loser daughter….). Gayle once again handles the situation like a mensch and reminds Sally that not everyone is so unhappy with a simple life in Weatherfield.

Later, Haley pays a visit to Sally to talk about Sophie and how upset she is about the bra situation. Sally takes a shot at Haley’s coming of age as a boy and then tells her to stop trying to take her kids just because she can’t have kids of her own.


Bev is worried about going on the cruise with Liz because she might be the third party to Liz and Vern’s love cruise. She ends up inviting Fred who gladly, I say GLADLY accepts the offer.

When she tells Liz, Liz makes fun of Fred’s appearance until Bev explains that she has feelings for Fred. Then Liz, well, makes fun of Fred’s appearance.


Mr. Ed
Ed and Emily have been getting chummy much to the approval of Rita and the dismay of Norris. When all three go out for drinks, Norris is perfectly rude to Ed and the lady’s are embarrassed.

As the evening wears on and Emily and Rita get a bit ‘dizzy’ with the sherry, Ed becomes even more delightful to them. Norris is fit to be tied.

A bit later up at the bar, Mr. Ed buys the last package of pork rinds that Eileen had her eye on. When she makes a comment he gives them to her and there are some maybe romantical/interested looks between him.

I have no idea what this guy is up to now. I’m putting my money down on a cult.

Break Out the Hankies

Well, Penny ended up saying, ‘I’m flattered, but no thanks to the marriage’ and Mike’s response is to go marching out of the restaurant nearly in tears. Penny tries to follow him, but the waiter wants the bill paid so she has to deal with that.

Mike quickly gets lost in the car and has to ask directions to ‘Weatherfield’ from some stranger. When the guy says he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, Mike responds with, ‘It’s the place with the gate that you need to unlock.’ He then remembers Weatherfield Keys and the stranger gives him instructions that even I couldn’t follow.

He eventually ends up at the Rovers and greets Rita and Emily and asks where Bet is. Rita assumes she heard wrong and points to Bev. Mike seems to be happy in a place he recognizes and even more happy when Penny finds him. He’s forgotten all about the fight in the restaurant and is looking forward to going home.

Back home Penny reminds him about the proposal and he is upset that she doesn’t want to marry him because she thinks he’s losing it. Adam enters the room and Mike begins to assure them that he’s okay by telling them what’s on the table behind him.

He continues on this game until Penny asks, ‘What day is it?’ This is all too real for Adam who leaves the flat and Penny is faced with the task of showing Mike the reality of his situation.

He then storms off and when he comes back…..

Brace yourselves…..

He’s got Penny’s bags packed and is throwing her out of the house accusing her and Adam of trying to put him in a home to take his money.

She cries that she loves him and only wants to help him but..

Seriously, brace yourself…

He grabs her by the arm and tosses her out as she is crying that she loves him and he shouts, ‘You’ve never loved me and I’ve never loved you, get out you skinny little bitch.’

Last scene is of Penny crying with her face against the door window.


Saturday, September 23, 2006

Ye Friday Update

The Rosie of Shallot and Her Sister, Lady Poopy-Pants

Miserable, small-bosomed Sophie returns home to find everyone in a mood. They won’t tell her what’s going on. No one ever tells her anything. At least centuries-old Rita gave her a bit of sherry to bring in the New Year, because everyone else thinks she’s invisible.

She drowns her sorrows at her own local, Roy’s Rolls. Hayley plies her with free chocolate milk, aching to reach out to the child with the wisdom of her own awkward experience. There is more talk of the £18.99 bra, but Sophie doesn’t want Hayley’s brand of empathy. With a cutting insult, she storms off, leaving Hayley rejected once again.

Chez Webster, Rosie screams about the unfairness of being under house arrest. Because she loves him! Kevin and Sally’s brilliant plan is to never let her out of their sight. Sally suggests taking time off work and Kevin points out that while it will work for a approximately a week, then what?

Across the moat, Keith is having a tough time with Craig. It must be hard to discipline a kid who has been through a hell of a life already. Keith struggles to assert his authority, ordering Craig away from Rosie, but Craig is full of The Anger and disregards ol’ Granddad completely.

Rosie and Craig are briefly reunited in the street but Kevin is after them like a yapping terrier. Close call - what would have happened if he hadn’t dragged them away from each other? Chaos! Fornicatin’ in the street! You never know with kids these days.

Meanwhile, Down in the Village….

Frankie worries. Jamie hasn’t phoned. Carol is her usual sensitive self, saying that Jamie’s probably with some chick and who wants to call their step mom when they’re getting some? It turns out Jamie only went to Spain for some time with Warren. Carol suddenly gets all “let’s go to a movie,” but Frankie’s not game. Much like me, she’s getting sick of this Carole character.

Creepy church-going Ed visits the Kabin and gets the usual suspicious and cold reception Norris gives any of Emily’s friends. Rita gushes. Ed finds Emily in the Rovers and she confides in him that she’s not fond of the new vicar’s 'heart on your sleeve' style of worship. Emily prefers private spirituality. She enjoys the traditions of song and communal prayer. Ed reasons that they should start a group with like-minded parishioners. Emily thinks this is a bit scandalous but oh, what fun!

Across the bar, Liz tells Bev that Vernon is off to work on a cruise ship, probably full of Vernon-hungry widows. Bev says something about how couples should be able to spend time apart and Shawn makes a crack about menopausal women having better things to do on a cruise ship than chase Vernon. But Liz thinks it’s a good idea to blow her savings and go on the cruise. It’s creepy to stalk alone, so she invites Bev. Road trip! Or rather, boat trip.

Meanwhile, Violet has a plan. If she’s not married by 2011, she’s going to have Shawn’s baby. They’d make good parents, right? Shawn really wants to be a dad so it’s a sweet offer, but he still looks more than a little taken aback.

The King Chooses His Queen

Penny’s back from Mum’s. Mike rolls his eyes at her concern for him and tells her to get ready for a very special night. Penny is not in the mood, especially when Adam tells her there were a few incidents, like teabags in the fridge and consecutive baths. Danny tells her there’s no reason to worry, Mike’s just fine. Penny doesn’t buy it. When Mike later confides in Danny that he’s going to propose to Penny, Danny isn't happy. But he fakes it for Mike.

At the Clock, Mike inquires about the age of Penny's mother for the second time, apparently. Penny brings up his memory again but he picks out expensive champagne and compliments her outfit and Penny acquiesces – maybe they can have a nice evening. Then Mike pulls out the ring. A big ol’ sapphire encased in diamonds. He slips it onto her ring finger. He pops the question. And the credits roll (gah!). Will she or won’t she?

Friday, September 22, 2006

Late Update

Dear Corrie Street Writers,

You what?!!! You killed her off?

Well, screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew you!

At this point I don’t really care about the Websters or the Baldwins or anyone else because my heart is broken.

Tracey tries to pawn of Amy on to Blanche who is on her way out to a funeral. She tells Tracey too bad so sad, her friend Lena and her are going to a service.

A few hours later, Deidre finds Blanche in the sitting room (oh don’t worry, they didn’t kill of Blanche) – looking out into to space. Why? Because when she went to go pick up Lena, she was discovered dead in her room.

Blanche needs a drink and quite frankly so does Glacia! WHO is to be my role model of a 100 year old cougar? (I’m suspecting Liz.)

Damn you writers!

Anyway, Blanche worries that no one will be around to hear her last words, so she tells Deidre so that she will say them for her.

The last words of Blanche Hunt are:

‘You lot, you’re alright. Yes, you’re alright.’

She makes Deidre promise not to mention a word of that to anyone until she is gone and buried…especially Ken.

RIP LENA – I for one will miss you.




Romeo and Julie Ain’t Getting No More
How can I sum this up?

Kev is fit to be tied, Sal working on damage control and Rosie is locked in her room until she is 35.

The Websters have informed Rosie that she is not to see Craig again – which is not going over well as you can suspect.

When Keef and Audrey get home, Kev marches Rosie and Sal over so they can confront them about what happened the night before.

It doesn’t take long before Keef lets it slip that they had caught them at it the week before. Kev loses his mind.

A lot of screaming ensues and Sally says she doesn’t want to be like the Platts and be a grandmother next year. She has a go at Audrey and that’s when Keef tells them to leave.

All the while Rosie and Craig are telling each other how much they love each other. (And since Rosie's mobile's been taken away, they are reduced to smoke signals, American Sign Language and Morse code through stones at the window.)

So as it stands, both kids have been told by their respective guardians that they are not to see each other any more.

Yeah, that’ll work.

Goodbye Yellow Brick Weatherfield
Carol can not let go of the ‘Frankie/Jamie’ issue and it’s making Jamie feel so uncomfortable that he is now trying to avoid time with Frankie and he seems bothered when she cancels a date with Nathan Detroit.

Carol’s harping gets to be so much that Jamie packs his bags and starts to leave home. He tells Caorl that she’s sick and that Frankie’s been more of a mother to him than she has.

Then he hails a cab to the airport. Any guesses where he’s going? (Canada? Scotland? Spain?)

So poor Frankie the one person that means anything to her has walked out.

Oh well, at least she still has Carol.

Cilla’s been busily microwaving the whore’derves for the upcoming royal visit by Danny and Leane. Chelsey has been convienantly thrown out into the back yard so that the adults can have some very clever and witty banter.

Danny says he wasn’t sure what Les drank – white or red, but Les assures him that he drinks both. Danny is relieved because he bought red and Cilla is confused why he didn’t just bring both.

Les, former sommelier at the Ritz is pleased to see that Danny has brought them a fine 13% wine and says they’ll save it for a special occasion. (Like when your daughter brings around her fancy-man?)

Things go better than expected when Les regales Danny with stories of Leanne’s dress up days and hauls out a pic of the six year old ‘Nursie Lee’.

A Portrait of a Blackpool Landlady on Jubilee Day
Hillary meets Jack and Vera at the Rovers in order to take some photos for her work. Vera is pissed that Jack has worn his sloppy old clothes, but he maintains that this is how Hillary wants to capture them.

As expected, events become a knock down Jack and Vera quarrel with Hillary loving every minute and taking as many pics as possible.

I have to say, I did love Vera’s jacket – even if it was swiped from Minnie Pearl.

In Other News
Liz makes a new fashion state with a large ‘L’ dangling between her sagging breasts.

Milk and Pepsi anyone?


Mazel Tov from Corrie Canuck!

Corrie Canucks Matt and Rebecca are getting married on Saturday!

A special Corrie cheers from all of us to you Matt and Rebecca!

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Happy New Year Update - Episode # 6195

The truth is revealed at last - Charlie Stubbs is indeed a real pecker.

Celebrating the New Year with a Bang

The Websters are all in fine spirits in anticipation of a festive evening. Kevin and Sally are out to the local for a few drinks and a laugh, Rosie is off to Craig's (with Keith as chaperone - in theory) and Sophie is doing something else that escapes me right now.

Keith heads out to visit Audrey leaving the two teens alone, but with a firm warning for them to behave.

Teens in love - of course they'll behave.

Craig orders some veggie pizza, but it will take at least three hours to arrive. (critical for later plot development) Craig tells Rosie he worships her. She tells him to unzip and unclip her. (I wish I knew the 'I worship you' line when I was fifteen - sigh) The two then proceed up to the goth passion palace to make sweet sweet love for a few hours.

Meanwhile Kevin and Sally are weaving their way home after a good night out. They seem quite happy without a care in the world. For a few moments at least.

The doorbell rings at Number 6 sometime after midnight. Craig tells Rosie not to worry, that it is the pizza being delivered at last. The goth prince puts on his black bath robe and opens to the door to find Mother Webster on the step. Sally is confused as to why Craig is only wearing his robe but puts two and two together when she sees Rosie's dress on the sofa - without Rosie in it.

Sally storms upstairs and finds Rosie in Craig's bed in her most natural state. Much crying and screeching ensues between mother and daughter. Craig protests valiantly, saying they have done nothing wrong since they are in love, but his words fall on deaf ears. Rosie gets dressed and is frogmarched across the street to her home.

When Kevin hears the news of what his daughter has been up to he is understandably upset. He tells Rosie that he can't bear to look at her and then makes ready to go over and kill Craig, or at least give him a good thumping. Sally stops him from committing GBH or worse,telling him that they can get it sorted in the morning when Keith is there.

Mother of the Year

Meanwhile at Number 1 Tracey is banging on about how everyone is so selfish because they won't stay home (on New Year's) with Amy so she can go out and have a little fun herself. To her credit Deirdre puts her foot down and tells Ken (who was starting to vacillate) that the two of them are going out, and that Tracey should have made other arrangements.

So Ken and Deirdre go to The Rovers for a few half pints of bitter and wine and end up having a good time, even if Ken complains a bit. At the end of the evening all Ken wants is Deirdre and a warm bed.

Meanwhile back at the ranch Tracey gets a phone call from Charlie - he's at the door with a bottle of champagne and wants her to come out and play. After a moment or two of doubt she decides that Amy will alright on her own for few hours while mommy goes out to be a mattress test pilot - after all Amy is almost two now.

Someone call the Children's Aid Society - quick.

Tracey manages to get home just before her parents do and does an admirable acting job pretending that she was asleep on the sofa with Amy in her arms the whole evening.

The Rovers

It is a big night at The Rovers - everyone is in a holiday mood. Shel gives the staff a pep talk and the festivities begin.

There seems to be a rule at the pub that only music by The Pogues can be played during the festive season.

Mike and Adam have a nice moment as father and son before Mike sends kilt boy off to have his own fun on the town with his mates.

Mike and Jamie have a nice moment when Mike asks his grandson to make sure that he gets home alright at the end of the evening, which Jamie promises to do.

Cilla and Les, (wearing his best pulling jacket and a pink shirt) hatch a scheme to get their hands on some of the Baldwin money - through Leanne of course. The Battersby-Browns invite the Baldwin-Battersbys for dinner the next day. Danny says they can't make it, they have a work do planned. Leanne gives Danny grief because he thinks she comes from low stock. (well duh) Danny apologizes and they decide they can make the dinner after all. That should be fun.

Carol apologizes to Mike for her poor behaviour at The Clock on Christmas Day, which was caused by the drink of course, which she is giving up in the New Year, of course.

Frankie, having had a few drinks with Nathan, are having a cozy time in the corner, and have a bit of a snog when the clock strikes midnight. Frankie asks Jamie to find out if Nathan fancies her, since the two of them are mates. Jamie seems a bit put off by this suggestion.

Carol, having had quite a few drinks, tells Nathan about the budding romance between Jamie and Frankie. Nathan asks Carol if she has got a screw loose.

Carol tries to tell Jamie some gossip about Frankie but he tells her that he has had enough of her poison and storms off in a huff.

At some point Danny and Frankie look into each other's eyes across the crowded room and a hint of sadness and regret can be seen between the two - for a moment.

Tuesday's Update

I missed the first 3 minutes of last night’s show, so feel free to comment.

We Got Boobies
I came in when Sally was telling the other factory girls about Sophie’s obsession with the padded bra. This led to much girly talk about everyone’s first bra.

Haley disassociates herself from the group and when Roy tells her to join her friends, she tells him no.

I’m thinking Haley’s feeling alienated by all the ‘coming of age as a woman’ talk.

We Aren’t Going on a Winter Holiday

Tracey convinces Charlie to foot the bill for a winter get away for 7 days and when he agrees she has to ask Steve if he will take care of Amy.

Steve jumps at the chance, but when he finds out that it is the same week he was planning to go on holiday with Moley, Tracey begs him to reconsider because she’s been planning this trip for a long time and she never gets a break.

He is about to cancel his holidays when he finds out that Tracey just that morning came up with the idea. He tells her too bad, she’ll have to find another sitter.

Tracey goes back to Charlie and tells him the bad news and he says it doesn’t matter because he didn’t book the trip. She looks very shocked as he says that if she can’t make it to Madeira, he’ll take someone else. Even more shock, when he continues, ‘If Madeira’s a problem; he’ll take someone else. Charlie tells her, ‘I chose when and where I take holiday, including cost and no two year old is going to factor into that.’

Oh come on, bastard that he is, didn’t you all like Tracey being put in her place?

Oh and the factory girls seem to follow Tracey like a greek chorus just to tell her that she’s a crap mom.

Mike and Jamie

Carol finally comes home after Eric has sacked her because she’s, ‘Late, dirty and can’t do the job’.

Jamie and Frankie confirm that she is late and dirty and that there’s a bit of ‘frow up’ on her jacket sleeve. Carol wants Jamie to go ask Eric for his job back, but he’s had it and tells her to get away from him.

He storms out and later Frankie finds him on the bus bench and gives him some words of encouragement. Jamie then goes to check on Mike who offers even more support.

There’s a nice scene where Jamie asks Mike if Danny slept with Leanne because he hates him. Mike explains that Danny slept with Leanne because….well, he’s a Baldwin.

There’s further discussion on the infidelities of the Baldwin clan but Mike reminds tells him that despite sleeping with his brother’s wife, he’s glad he did because Jamie is in his life.

Meanwhile, Back at the Factory.
Danny and Leanne find an engagement ring for Penny and start to worry. (But Mike has an engagement ring at the house…did he forget that he bought the first one?)

Portrait of a Hillary
Hillary keeps popping up like a muppet wherever Jack and Vera for some reason.

They discuss the portrait and she is now saying that she might not have to do potrait with their cremated remains, but rather with body part – or shall we say secretions such as….hold on to your hats…vomit.

This is all too much for Vera (and Glacia) who no longer cares how much money is involved, she’s not on for barfing.

Jack however, with dollar signs in his eyes makes a deal with Hillary to go back to the original plan of having only him sit for the potrait.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Portrait of an Update


Manchester Gothic
Vera calls up Hillary the artist to tell her to keep her hands off of her husband. Her call apparantly is so filled with raw passion that Hillary has to come down to the Rovers to meet her. Vera's face fills with anger and we cut to commerical.

When we return, HIllary is soaking and I couldn't quite figure out why. Turns out our Vera gave her the classic Rovers hose down - a pint of beer in the face.

This just makes Hillary fall more in love with her and she insists that both Jack and Vera be subjects of her next paintings. Vera cautiously asks what the big idea about needing the deceased bodies is. I assumed that Hillary did one of those mummified body exhibits, but no... She explains that she does a series of paintings of a subject and when they die, she takes the cremated remains of her subject and mixes it with the paint to create a final piece.

I might be the only one saying this, but, 'Neat.' I actually thought that was a cool idea.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway, Vera's not buying it so Hillary suggests a one off painting called, 'Mr. and Mrs. Duckworth, Portrait of a Marriage'.

Carol Returns
Carol comes back home and after getting blasted by Jamie and Frankie she apologies to Jamie for staying out all night, saying that she's not used to people worrying about her.

Then as an aside to him, she tells him that the reason she stayed out is because she couldn't stand to see what was going on in the house, with Frankie trying to steal him from her.

Jamie tells her to go to bed and she stomps off like a tempermental 12 year old.

The writing and acting on this story line is SUPERB! Ever taken care of an alcoholic? They got this pretty much dead on as far as I'm concerned.

Speaking of 12 Year Olds
Sophie is pissed that she didnt' get her Fredricks of Hollywood bra and is taking it out on Kev and Sally by being beligerant.

A Problem Like Michael
Penny comes to Danny and begs him to talk to Mike about seeing a doctor and to start getting his affairs in order. Leanne flits around in the background making stupid comments about Viv stealing Mike while Danny seems non-plus about the whole thing.

Finally, seeing how upset Penny is, Danny agrees to talk to Mike. Later, at the Rovers, Lady MacBeth, I mean Leanne encourages Danny to suck up to Mike and maybe get Adam off of the inheritence list.

Danny says not to worry because unless Mike marries Penny, he's still gonna get half of everything.

Too bad a few scenes back we see Mike buy an engagement ring for Penny.

Finally we get to the Danny/Mike heart to heart. Danny tries to persuade Mike to retire, but he won't hear of it. Mike then explains how he wants to split the business down the middle between Danny and Adam.

(Get out your sliderulers here, folks.)

Danny says fine, but remember that he already bought 49% of the business and that when Mike gives him half of the other 51%, Danny will own 'free quaters of de buznezz.'

Mike says, 'Oh no, no, no...I'll give you 1% and Adam 50% to keep it all equal. He says he needs the money that Danny paid to help him through retirement.

Then he asks Danny if he should go to the doctor like Penny and Adam keep suggesting. Danny, seething with inner rage, tells him that he's as fit as a fiddle and that Penny and Adam are just trying to scheme behind his back.

There's gonna be some GOOD storyline coming up.

Holey Moley
Moley goes to the jail to talk to Jimmy, under much protest from Steve. There's so much screaming now with these two that it's begining to hurt my ears.

Moley goes to Jimmy and he tells her that if she doesn't give back the money, he'll kill her. She says that she's keeping the money and if he bitches, she'll tell the courts about the rest of hte money and he'll be in jail for a very long time and she tosses her hair back and storms out.

Really Steve, I'm thinking she's more trouble than she's worth.

In Other News
There's a gratuitous bare chest scene of Richard Fleischman.

Vern used to be with Simply Red before they were Simly Red....back when they were Plaid, I guess.

the end.

In Other

Weatherfield Womanizer Danny Baldwin in Real-Life Romance … With Frankie!

Bradley Walsh (our Danny Baldwin) and Debra Stephenson (our Frankie Baldwin) are having an off-screen fling, reports The Sun.

The romance was uncovered last week when Debra’s hubby found intimate text messages from Bradley on her phone.

They admitted they had developed a close relationship but claimed that it never became “fully physical”.

The pair share a birthday in real life as well.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Update For Friday, Sept. 15th, 2006


Appropriately, I forgot it was my turn to update. Having deleted the episode, I had to get a little help from Corrie archives. The Penny to my Mike.


Steve and Ronny are sharing a cozy Boxing Day moment on the couch when Ronnie has to go and bring up Jimmy. So Steve brings up Karen. Steve wonders out loud why he attracts the psychos and while it’s a logical question from our point of view, Ronnie must have thought he was joking because she doesn’t kick him in the nuts.

At the cab office, Steve stares menacingly at a gift left on the counter. It’s for Ronnie and as she opens the card, a piece of paper falls to the ground. She quickly hides it. The present is an amethyst bracelet from Jimmy, which isn’t okay with Steve. He asks how Jimmy would have gotten something like that from jail and Ronnie replies, “contacts.” Steve points out that his dad is in jail and doesn’t have contacts. Ronnie leaves in a huff.

They catch up later at the Rovers. She points out she’s not wearing the bracelet but admits that Jimmy probably knows about the money she took. She has to go see him and make things right. Steve freaks out. How could she let this happen? Did she forget that Jimmy tried to kill him? She tells him to shut up and Steve slips, “no wonder he used to knock you about….” He apologizes but it’s too late. Ronnie storms off.


Cilla and Les are enjoying a Boxing Day pint at the Rovers when she gets a text from Chesney asking when they are going to be home. Les points out the boy has been home alone for two hours. Cilla’s unconcerned because Chesney has the best sitter in the world – the television. When her chippy boss ‘Wongy’ comes in, Cilla jumps at the chance for a free triple brandy and a bag of cheese and onion.


At the Rovers, it’s champagne for all as Fred announces loudly and proudly that he’s going to be a granddad again. Liz, wearing a tight t-shirt emblazoned with the three R’s of Vernon’s band (her Christmas present from him), is quite impressed Fred’s being so generous with the bubbly. Bev says it’s a cheap, leftover brand that they could have used to strip paint. Liz thinks it’s quite good.

Enter Ashley and Claire who are right pissed that Fred has told everyone about the still early pregnancy. They are off to the Queen’s Arms when Bev stops them and pleads Fred’s case. Fred turns on the puppy dog eyes and they decide to forgive him.


When asked her favourite gift, Sally says she likes her Kate Bush CD from Kevin and the pink dressing gown from the girls. Sophie wants to hit the sales for a booster bra. Sally says that at age eleven, Sophie should be out playing with her friends, not buying booster bras. Kevin reminds Sally of her own less than pristine youth. Sally says something about wanting better things, and Kevin asks if she means better than him. She says of course not but Kev looks unconvinced.


Frankie is on the phone teaching Warren how to cook when Jamie interrupts her. Carol is missing. Frankie thinks Carol is likely embarrassed about her performance and is probably walking it off. Jamie thinks she's more likely in a gutter. Frankie tells him not to worry and he replies he's not going to. Is Jamie done with Mum?


Leanne and Danny enjoy Boxing Day breakfast with Champagne and lemon seasoned mushrooms, which Danny learned to make from “she who shall not be named,” meaning Frankie, judging from the look on Leanne’s face. Leanne wants it to be a Christmas ‘do-over’ since they’d both rather forget the previous night.

What they can’t forget is Mike’s odd behavior. Danny is the first to say the A-word: Alzheimer’s. Leanne thinks it’s a bit too far fetched but Danny’s concerned about the business.

Later at the Rovers, Leanne tells Janice about Mike and Janice doesn’t seem to take it too seriously, either. She’s too distracted by the expensive porcelain figurine Leanne bought her for Christmas. Leanne justifies it, saying Janice works hard to put money in Danny’s pocket, so she might as well get some back.


Penny is cooking up breakfast when Mike enters and shrugs off the whole scene the night before. Penny’s having none of it, confronting him about his memory loss. He tries to blame Carol for the whole night. Viv is no help, accusing Penny of overreacting and saying Mike’s probably just stressed and will he take her to the sales like he promised?

When they’re gone, Penny takes Adam into her confidence and begs his help in convincing Mike to see a doctor. Adam is visibly upset that this is happening to his dad, trying to recover quickly when Mike and Viv return bearing sales bags. But Mike’s seen him and asks what’s up. Penny replies that Adam is worried. Viv tries to change the subject and then accuses Penny of being overbearing, but Penny looses her patience with ol’ Viv.

Mike challenges Penny on what makes her think he needs to see a doctor. She reminds him of the day before, when he forgot his own brother was dead and got lost on Coronation Street, a street he’s known his whole life. Adam offers to do more at the factory to help take the load off, but Mike says the real issue is between Adam and Danny. Adam admits he is not going to acknowledge Danny as his brother but Penny insists that’s not the real problem. Mike flips, yelling that he's the head of the factory and of this family. He will not be questioned.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Survey Says Update

Things that Might Make Family Christmas Even Bigger Hell
The Barlow/McDonald Christmas is in full swing as 45 people sit around a table 1’ in diameter. We got Ken, Deidre, Tracey, Amy, Liz, Disco Stu, Steve, Moley and best of all Blanche.

They start some game that involves a toy bomb that you pass around while everyone tries to think up items in a specific category. This goes as well as expected with lots of snipping and Tracey determined to win by any means possible.
Events improve, however, when the doorbell rings.

“Hey everyone, look who it is! Satan!’

Yeah, Charlie joins the love in and Deidre actually tells Tracey that he has to leave. Tracey puts up an argument to why he is allowed to stay and it's left at that with Tracey and Charlie warm in the glow of a smirk.

Oh, it turns out that Disco Stu's band is called, 'Rock Rhythm Rascals'. I repeat, that's 'Rock Rhythm Rascals'.

Things That Make You Call 911
Cilla and Lana decide to give the turkey cooking another try and go all southern U.S. by deep frying the turkey at the Chippys.

They leave the turkey in the deep fryer for an hour and walk away leaving it unattended. They come back for the Christmas bird, but it turns out the fire department got there first.

Yup, Cilla’s managed to burn down the Chippys.

Thinks That Make You Drink – Part 1
Carol decides to really tie one on at the Clock and gets more and more slurred. Eddie (is that his name) goes along with it – even when she walks over to the happy Baldwin table to tell Danny what she really thinks about him (thank GOD someone finally had the balls to tell Danny that he’s an ass).

She causes a scene and everyone practically begs her to stop – Eddie is being pretty supportive and Leanne calls Jamie to come collect her. Frankie and Jamie do manage to get her out and at that point Eddie washes his hands of her. Frankie makes sure that Danny knows this is all his fault.

Things That Make You Buy Cigars
Fred and Ashley tease Claire about forgetting the anniversary gift for Ashley. (Has it been a year already since Claire and Ashley married?)

She didn’t forget though…her gift is procreation. Yep, she’s pregnant and they’ll be ginger haired babies all around.

As sweet as the announcement is, I still think she owes him a real gift from the shop.

Oh, and Fred cried.

Things That Make You Think of an O.Henry Short Story
Jack presents Vera with the mug of great grandpa Edward and she gives her gift to him, a burial plot.

The burial plot is kind of useless since Jack sold his body to that artist to get the mug. Apparantly that means his corpse too.

Vera tells him to get a refund.

Thanks That Make You Drink – Part 2
After Carol is hauled off in a hail of drunken ‘home truths’, Viv shows up to share dinner with the rest of the family.

Mike looks at her and says, ‘Where’s Harry?’ This shocks the entire family, but Mike keeps going on about why Harry is late.

Danny must be as thick as a brick, because it doesn’t even dawn on him that Mike might be sick. He gets angry at Mike thinking this is all some sort of practical joke. Finally, Penny tells Mike that Harry died which upsets him.

Penny, Danny and Mike go off to the side where Penny tells Mike that he needs to get some medical attention. Mike says that he needs to take a walk and she reluctantly lets him go.

Okay, brace yourself people. This was a really god awful scene, especially for those of us who remember Mike as the lion he was.

Rosie and Craig come across Mike sitting on the steps of the factory in tears. They ask him what’s wrong and he won’t answer, he keeps crying. Finally, Jamie arrives and says he’ll take care of it.

Jamie sits down with Mike and asks him what’s wrong.

Mike tells him that he went for a walk but can’t remember how to get back to either the restaurant or home. He tells him how he couldn’t remember that his brother was dead and that when he looked around the table, he couldn’t remember anyone’s names. He also confided that this memory loss is happening a lot and that it’s getting worse.


Thursday, September 14, 2006

Hen Night Report

Last night Corrie Canuck feted our Rebecca and Monica on their upcoming nuptials.

I'm happy to report that the brides were resplendent in their tiara's and L signs (It wasn't lost on any of us that in Canada, 'L' doesn't usually mean "Learner's" - but our bride's took it in good stride.)

The rest of us were decked out in a variety of buttons such as 'Hotty', 'Bad Girl' and 'Wild One'.

We played the Cosmo Corrie quiz and had a rounding Corrie triva quiz all over pints and Cock-a-leekie stew.

Who's Your Favorite.....

Corrie Poll!

Who's your favorite bitch? Which evil, nasty lady is your favorite.

I think I'd have to say Tracey -

#1 - They give her the best lines

#2 - She is trule twisted and evil

#3 - If you've been watching for awhile, you can track the development from innocent Tracey and yes, Ken and Deidre are completely to blame.

Have a Smurfy Christmas!

I'd like to wish all my fellow bloggers Season's Greetings! (Corontation Street timeline of course)

Mike's Three Sons

Okay, we needs some Mike history here to clear things up.

For the record, Mike has been married 4 times and has spawned 3 sons.

Susan Barlow
Ken's daughter and twin to Peter Barlow), Susan is the mom of Adam. Susan died tragically in a car accident and Adam was sent off to Scotland (the land of nannies.)

Jackie Ingram
Very short marriage, Mike only married her for her money and was already involved with bride-to-be number 3...

Alma Sedgewick
Their marriage ended in divorce and Alma tragically died of cancer

Linda Sykes Social climbing machinist from the factory.

Adam - from marriage to Susan - which makes Adam Ken's grandson

Mark Redman - from his affair with Maggie Dunlop, who ended up marrying Harry Redman. Mark got written out of the will by sleeping with Mike's fiance, Linda.

Danny Baldwin - the product of Mike's affair with his brother's wife, Vivian.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Update for Episode # 6191, September 13, 2006

The Cornation Street Christmas Episode - Part I

The Happy Household

Claire and Ashley are having a cozy start to their Christmas/Anniversary gift exchange. Ashley gives Claire some lovely jewelry. Claire has a special gift for her husband that he has to close his eyes for, but the moment is interrupted by the arrival of Fred and Joshua, who is espceially keen on opening his presents. All in all a bucolic family moment.

The Three's Company Household

Carol and Jamie are ensconsed on the sofa after having opened their Christmas gifts without waiting for the third member of the house to share in the event. Frankie, looking fab in a mauve dressing gown, makes her way down the stairs and discovers that she has been left out of the special family moment - in her own home mind you. Carol points out the great gift she got for Jamie and how expensive it was. Frankie points out it the ring is a bit big and it might fall off and get lost. The two women snipe at each other for a while before Jamie calms them down.

Carol, intuitive soul that she is, decides this is an opportune moment to bring up the idea of her and Jamie moving out and finding a place of their own together. Jamie gamely tries to defend himself but the damage is done. Nothing says I love you more than telling your step-mom you're thinking of moving out and leaving her on her own - on Christmas day.

Thankfully the phone rings and brings some Christmas cheer for Francesca. It's Warren, the mumbling cut-rate galactico, calling from Espana to wish his mother happy holidays.

The Alternate Universe Household

Fiz and Leanne show up at the Battersby-Browns, which has a sign in the window that says 'Santas Grot'. (grotto perhaps?) Expecting the worst, they steel their nerves and go in to find - a strangely normal family gathering. Cilla and Yana are getting the foodstuffs ready. Les, Kirk and Chesney are having a game of (contact) Twister.

Normal service is resumed soon enough when Cilla discovers that the cooker isn't working and there is no way to cook the 15 pound one-legged turkey. Les is crushed, 'The Battersbys go hungry at Christmas again'. The day is saved though when someone has an idea and before long they are watching the bird cook - on the sun bed. Not a perfect ending but still pretty good for this lot.

The Teenagers in Lust Households

Keith and Audrey go off for dinner at the Platt household without Craig, who is not in the mood to be social. This would be completely understandable behaviour under the circumstances, with his family all being dead or in prison.

However, his real intentions are made clear soon enough, being a teenage male and all, when he texts Rosie to tell her that he has the place all to his own and he has a very special 'gift' for her. (winkwinknudgenudge)

Rosie is enjoying a fun family dinner with her clan until her mobile rings.All of a sudden she wants to go and visit Craig, and since dinner is done, there's no reason for her to hang around any longer with her boring family on Christmas day. Sally puts her foot down though and tells Rosie to stay home, Craig can wait for another day.

The Not So Happy Households

Steve and Ronnie (who is looking quite unattractive in her outfit) are getting ready to face the day when she gives Steve one last Christmas gift. He protests a bit but opens it quickly enough and finds 5000 Pounds. It seems Steve had been moaning about how skint he was for some time so Ronnie thought she could alleviate his problems by giving him some cash. Cash that she had taken from her crazed ex-husband's secret stash.

Yes, the one who tried to kill them.

Steve is undestandably upset by this line of thinking, wondering if Jimmy will try to finish the job of killing them when he gets out of prison. Ronnie defends her actions, saying she only took half the money from the stash. Steve accepts this logic, maybe Jimmy will only cut their legs off instead of killing them outright...

Vernon comes out of the cougar den and apologizes for his drums being in the way.

Meanwhile at the Barlows Blanche is giving Deirdre a hard time for not basting the turkey enough. Tracey shows up with Amy and there is some Christmas cheer in the house for a moment or two. Tracey is her usual bitchy self though and the good mood is quickly gone.

Steve and Ronnie show up at Number 1 so he can give Amy her presents. Bringing Ronnie along for the occasion seems to be a bad idea, she is clearly uncomfortable and is soon having a glass of sherry and a go at Steve. Tracey, always happy with other people's misery, changes her plans to go the pub and sticks around to watch the fireworks.

The Divided Household

Adam is opening the gift he has received from Mike. As is usually the case with Mike, it is an expensive gift, an Omega wristwatch just like the one Michael Schumacher wears. Penny shows up and opens her gift from Mike, which turns out to be a road atlas, not quite what she had expected one would suspect. Mike reminds her of the time they were lost on a trip because her car didn't have a road atlas. Gracious woman that she is, Penny thanks him for his 'thoughtful' gift.

The Baldwin clan show up at The Clock for their festive dinner. While waiting for Mom to arrive from London, the men go to the bar for a drink while Penny and Leanne have a special moment of bonding. Leanne asks Penny, since they are both dating older men, what happens when they (the women that is) are in their best years for doing the horiziontal limbo and their male counterparts are well past their sexual prime* Penny, again showing her grace and dignity, chooses to not to dignify Leanne's inquiries with a response.

*This is a myth perpetrated by the drug companies to sell their evil pills. Trust me ladies, experience is always better than youthful enthusiasm. (winkwinknudgenudgesaynomoresaynomore)

Also at The Clock for their dinner are Carol and Eric. Sadly for them Danny spots the two and makes his way over to spread a little holiday jeer to all and sundry. This is upsetting enough to make Carol have a small glass of wine, which leads to more wine, which leads to drinking too much and showing that unhappy side of her personality. A Christmas day that started so well for Carol looks sadly like it will end badly for her.

Mom still hasn't shown up for the famly do and the boys are getting deeper into their wine. Adam starts discussing Leanne's sexual past with different Baldwin men, how she has had three over the years, and if she had a go with Mike and Adam she could make a clean sweep of it. Danny tells Robert the Bruce to 'turn it in', else he get a 'festive fist in the face'. Leanne threatens to give him a slap as well. Mike, showing he still has a bit of steam left in his engine, gets everyone to calm down, telling Adam to lay off the wine and reminding Danny of what a cocky little git he used to be when he was younger. Calm is retored for the moment but I don't think a peaceful Christmas is in store for this bunch.

Last Call For Alcohol

Corrie Hen Par-tay tonight

7 pm

Auld Spot Pub
347 Danforth Ave,

Be there or don't be a hen.

A Very Merry Update


Imagine Mr.Glacia’s surprise last night when he arrived home and was greeted by me cooking a tourtierre in the kitchen, shortbread all around, the cat wearing a red and green bow and the dog with a great pair of reindeer antlers perched precariously on top of her head.

It’s Christmas in September and Le Chateau de Glacia is all aglow with Christmas eve charm.

Meanwhile back at Weatherfield,

Body Shop Pyramid Scheme
Danny-boy comes into Roy’s with a blue pyramid box full of bath stuff for Frankie to give to Penny – because he found out that Penny got Frankie a gift and didn’t want Frankie to be embarrassed.

Frankie is right pissed because she did get a gift for Frankie – a blue pyramid box full of bath stuff. Now she has to go buy a new gift so that Danny doesn’t think she took his gift. She complains that she now has three blue pyramid boxes full of bath stuff – so I assume she had bought one for Carol too.

Later she joins Jamie, Mike and Penny for a drink in the Rovers for a Christmas eve drink, but leaves when Danny and Ho show up. Penny asks her to come to the car because she has a present for her…..a blue pyramid box full of bath stuff.

Now I know what to get my sisters for Christmas.

Now, Where Was I?
The girls are complaining about Danny not letting them leave work early, but he tells them too bad they have to keep working. The reality is, he’s waiting for Mike to come to the factory with the bonus pays, but Mike is once again late.

Mike arrives, Danny leaves and trouble ensues as Mike is unable to balance the money he has with the Christmas bonuses. Penny comes to the rescue and when she is finished she nods to the box full of envelopes and suggest that Mike give out the bonuses. Mike says, ‘Yeah, one sec.’ And he walks to the safe. Penny points out that the bonuses are in the box, and Mike does a ‘Iknewthat!’ schtick.

Later, when the Baldwins are getting ready to leave, Mike says he needs to pick up Penny’s gift from the factory, but the minute he gets into the factory he forgets why he was there. Penny collects him and he looks concerned about his failing memory.

This storyline is really bringing me down, people.

Find the Amy!
Steve comes into the Rovers with a sack of goodies for Amy and approaches Tracey and Charlie to find out where his daughter is. They exchange a few words about who gets Amy at Christmas before Tracey tells Steve that she’s at Ken and Deidre’s.

Steve shows up at the Barlows, only to find out that Amy is not there either. Ken is fed up and marches Steve BACK to the Rovers to get the story from Tracey. ‘Oops, I meant Amy is at the nursery.’ She laughs.

She sticks to her guns about denying Steve access to Amy, until Charlie says that she’s being unfair and that both the grandparents and dad should have Amy access – thereby making himself the good guy and getting alone time with Tracey.

This relationship is never going to work…I don’t think Mr.Stubbs has much interest in being a step-dad or accommodating a psycho mom’s mind games.

One Golden Ring!
Carol tries to wrap Jamie’s gift, but he accidentally sees it. She has bought him a ring with his initials and engraved on the back, ‘From your REAL mom, not that slapper who stole your father from me and thereby forced me into a life of alcoholism and bedwetting.’

She tells Jamie that her life is truly great right now and that the only thing that would make her life truly complete is if she had her own place with Jamie as a roommate.

Jamie is not jumping on this at all.

Who The HELL is This Ed Guy?
Rita (looking smashing, btw) goes with Emily to hear the last sermon of her favorite vicar. At the church, they sit beside some 8’2” character named ‘Ed’.

‘Ed’ is all, oh Emily I would have given you a lift and if you ever need someone to drive you from point A to point B – I’m your man. At first, I was excited because I thought there was some cougar action potential for our Emily, but at the end as he drops them off, there’s some shifty eye movements from ‘Ed’ so we know he’s just an evil bastard.

So now I’m hoping that Emily and the Vicar hook up.

I want love for Emily.

In Other News
Moley has to clean up barf in one of the taxis. (And has gained points with me for her willingness to do so.)

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

New Corrie Canuck Mascot

Say 'Hello' to Officer Johnnie Corrie Canuck.

Monday, September 11, 2006


(Sorry Papa - hope I'm not jumping the gun on you... there's been discussion about this. Forgive me.)

I lived with 4.5 million of these things around the house.

I hated them...they were like the evil clown bed. Always laughing and threatening to kill me in my sleep.

BTW - this baby goes for $350Au and in other places around the web $200 USD or $240Eur.

"King Edward VII is particularly interesting because he is a limited edition. On verso of base is a handwritten number, 1893, as well as a certificate of authenticity signed by Stuart R. Lyons, chairman of Royal Doulton Ltd. Henry VIII is dated 1975 and is stamped with a signature on verso of base and hand-painted with the number 71"


Update for Episode # 6189 September 11, 2006

Jack Duckworth - A wonderful wreck of a man

The Christmas Cheer Episode

Number 6

Keith and Craig have gone to visit Angela in prison, a surefire way to get anyone into the Christmas spirit. Audrey and Keith have a quiet chat about the experience and how Keith is ill-suited for the job of caregiver and family for Craig. Audrey tells him he is doing fine and invites the two to the Platts for Christmas. After much sputtering Keith accepts the invitation.

When Keith returns home he finds Craig and Rosie snogging on the sofa and blows his top. Rosie sensibly makes a hasty departure. Keith tries to apologize for his outburst but Craig ignores his grandfather and slinks off to his room.

Number 11

Eileen is in her sitting room looking morose, a picture of Todd prominently on display near the yet undecorated Christmas tree. Later she bumps into Phil on the street, who gamely offers to help her carry her shopping. The two end up having tea at hers and Eileen proceeds to pour out her heart, about how Todd was going to be absent for Christmas, about how it was his favourite time of the year, about how much damage had been done by the children of the two families. In the end Phil gives her a hug and helps to decorate the tree in the Grimshaw house, the job Todd used to have.

Number 8

We see Gail and Phil leave for work in the morning and get a nice closeup of a goodbye kiss between the two. Where are the censors when you need them? They return home a short while later because Phil forgot his satchel and Gail has to let him in to retrieve it. Gail then takes her house key and gives it to Phil, telling him it's only for a short while and besides, it's not a wedding ring or anything. It might only be me, but Phil seemed less than thrilled to have been given the key.

Number 7

Carol and Frankie are having a chat about life and family and men. Along the way Carol tells Frankie to remember that Jamie is not her son.

Frankie has been invited out for a drink by Nathan. Carol thinks this is good news, that Frankie needs to get out more. Jamie however, seems less excited by this prospect. Frankie goes out, looking fabulous as always, but is home fairly quickly. Carol has a bit of a go at Frankie, who goes off to bed. Carol and Jamie have words and in the end it seems that Jamie looks a bit jealous* of Frankie going out on a date.

*Thunder Bay pingfest regular Rob predicted this development a while back. Mind you he has pictures of Debra Stephenson plastered all over his bedroom.

Number 9

Jack is desperate to find some work so he can get some money to buy the right Christmas present for Vera - the Edward VII Coronation mug. He offers to sweep and brew at the garage but Kevin has nothing for him. Tyrone suggests Jack sell a few of his pigeons but he would rather sell his soul. He then tries his luck at The Rovers but Fred isn't interested in what Jack has to offer. Poor Jack is left feeling old and cold - suddenly made aware of little life he has left.

Later we see Jack in the cafe perusing the want ads. He sees an ad by an artist named 'John Smith' looking for models, regardless of their size and shape. This seems perfect so Jack repsonds and ends up meeting the artist in a random pub somewhere. It turns out that John Smith is actually Hilary Saunders, and that Jack is the subject she has been looking for all her life. She wants to capture his essence in life and in death. (whatever that means) Although the talk of death seems a bit ominous, Jack is willing to give it a go, providing Hilary pays him 200 quid up front for his services. Strangely enough she gives Jack the money. (having just met him and made no other arrangements)

So Christmas is saved for the Duckworths. Jack is able to buy a particularily ugly Edward VII Coronation mug for his beloved, thereby saving his wretched hide.

What Vera wants for Christmas

This might be the Edward VII Coronation mug that Vera has been dropping hints about. Any antique experts out there who can help identify this?

*Karen sent me this new and improved picture. Thanks!

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Merry Christmas. I Got You An update.

Coronation Street: The After School Christmas Special

On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me,
A Basket Full of Guilt (And Hopefully No STD’s)

Craig seems quite fine with having popped his cherry, but Rosie wakes up with a case of raging morning after guilt. She's freaking out and Craig tries to sneak her out the back door. Unfortunately Keith’s trying to get Audrey out much the same way. Audrey and Rosie run for cover while Craig and Granddad have a real blowout, Granddad struggling to make a valid argument while Craig cries hypocrite.

Later at the Salon, Audrey tells Keith he has a responsibility to tell Rosie’s parents. She feels guilty over their own behavior. Perhaps it encouraged the kids? Keith replies, ‘He’s a randy 15 year old. He don’t need any encouragement from us!”

Audrey takes it upon herself to have a word with Rosie when she comes around a’ caroling. “It’s the girls who get caught when things go badly. They’re the ones left holding the baby.” Turns out Audrey knows because she was a mother by aged 16. The talk goes downhill when Rosie says she’d never be ‘a stupid slapper’ like her. Luckily for Rosie, Sally walks into the salon just then and for some incomprehensible reason, Audrey lets Rosie off the hook. “I’m all for giving folks a fighting chance, as Rosie now knows,” Audrey says, dropping coins into the charity bucket. Rosie thanks her quite sincerely.

Back at home, Craig and Granddad come to an understanding and make their apologies.

On the Second Day of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me,
Two Selfish Jerks and No Christmas for Little Amy?

Blanche drags Amy into Roy’s Rolls to find Tracy having coffee with Charlie. “You were a long time at the corner shop. You only went for milk. Why are you having coffee with the local builder?”

Charlie manipulates Tracy with the “I guess I’ll be pulling the Christmas cracker by myself” routine (er, was that a euphemism?) and perhaps Tracy could ditch the family for a yuletide bubble bath? Unfortunately, Steve talks tough to Tracy about having Amy around Charlie, which reminds Tracy of her real purpose in life: make Steve miserable. She intends to keep Amy away from him at Christmas. Charlie practically hits Steve over the head with the fact that he’s blowing what could have been a good situation for both of them.

Meanwhile, Blanche doesn’t think Tracy is so badly off with Charlie. “I’m sure that our Tracy can handle herself better than that fruit bat who’s meant to run the Rovers… she’s as weak as that tea. Put another bag in.” Then Blanche proceeds to show everyone their gifts so that she doesn’t have to return them and implies she’s already ruined the whole Father Christmas thing for Amy. Blanche McScrooge.

On the Third Day of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me,
One Flooded Flat and Enough Attitude for Three

Phil’s flat has been flooded and he’s relying on the kindness of strangers. Or maybe just the strange. He’s crashing at Gail’s and David is not impressed (You know, David used to be a funny kid. Now he’s just an ass).

Later, the police, much to Eileen’s amusement, haul David home. They caught him trying to break into Phil’s flat. He says he was just looking for Phil and Gail reassures the officer it’s true. But when she and Phil confront him, it becomes clear David was double-checking that Phil was really truly flooded out of his place. Gail gives him hell, sort of, and he apologizes, sort of. Later, Phil and Gail get into a fight about whether David is a “normal lad who’s had an abnormal experience,” or whether he’s just a manipulative little sod.

It’s not like things are so much rosier on across the street, however, as Eileen struggles with whether or not to tell Todd about Jason and Sarah. She does. Todd decides not to come for Christmas and Eileen is inconsolable, especially by the likes of Sarah. Christmas promises to be prickly.

On the Fourth Day of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me,
One Teenaged Daughter. Or, How the Street finds out about Amber:

Roy’s Rolls
Vera: Can you say that again in English?
Amber: Are you being racist?
Audrey: She’s being rudist.
Amber: Please.
Vera: No, the other thing.
Amber: FRAP-UH-CHINO. Yeah? And a double. Espresso. To, like, GO.
Vera: Look, we do coffee. Black or milky.
Amber: One of each. Me dad’ll pay. He’ll be in later.

Back at the store, Dev and Amber bicker. “This seventies footballer look in’t happening,” she says of his hair. Dev’s not impressed that she’s been telling everyone she’s his daughter. Especially when she calls him Dad in front of Tracy, who might actually be a kindred spirit to the young Miss Alahan.

Sunita flips out on Dev for flaunting his new ‘family’ in front of her. Dev turns on Amber in frustration, calling her “my dirty little secret, hanging around here like a bad smell.” Silently, Amber collects her things and leaves. He finds her at the bus station and insist on giving her a lift. Amber calls him on his AWOL behavior, then and now. She’s not about to let him get away with anything.

On the Fifth Day of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me,
One Cranky Christmas, and Something Weird with Frank and Jamie….

Jaime breaks it to Carol that he’s not into Christmas and besides, Frankie’s grumpy. Carol sulks and accepts Eric’s “second best offer” for Christmas dinner. At first, she thinks Frankie is selfishly hogging Jamie to herself. But then she sees them sitting together at the Rovers, laughing and teasing each other. She stares at them, realization dawning on her face. Carole stomps out of the Rovers, saying, “I know why they don’t want me there. I’ve been so blind.”

Some Extra Christmas Bobbles for Thee:

Vera wants something good for Christmas but Jack’s as clueless as ever. That is until Tyrone helps him remember “that Edward the VII’th Coronation Mug” he can’t afford. Only five shopping days left!

While Rosie’s busy slinking guiltily around her mom, Sophie’s after bosoms in the form of a really wonderful bra. “Three levels of padding from discrete to knockout.”
“'Ey!” says Sally, diving down Sophie’s shirt and pulling out wads of fabric, “Those are my best tights!”

Friday, September 08, 2006

Updatey, me mateys

(This would be 'Murder Dolls')

Children of a Lesser Korn
Craig is on the outs because it’s Christmas and he misses his mom, (and his dead dad…and his dead sister.). He was supposed to go over to the Websters for a movie and pizza, but tells Rosie that he’s too sad to come over.

When Sally and Kev come home with a veggie pizza and a copy of ‘Children of a Lesser God’ (instead of Children of the Corn (insert your own joke about not hearing and ears of corn)).….Rosie tells them that she’s going to Imogene’s instead and Sally is happy in the fact that her young lady is hanging out with rich people.

She ends up at Craig’s explaining that she had to lie because her parents wouldn’t get why they need time alone and besides her parents are terribly unsophisticated and that Kev got confused by all the subtitles in ‘Pearl Harbour’. (Where were there subtitles in Pearl Harbour? I don’t remember, or maybe I was so overwhelmed by the overall ‘suck’ of the movie that I missed them completely.’)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaanyway, Keef and Audrey are out for the night and one thing leads to another and they end up in his room….they listen to some Murderdolls, and profess their love for one another. Then they worry if, as Goths, they are allowed to feel positive emotions like love. (Glacia immediately contacted her friend, who is a Goth, and was informed that Goths are indeed to fall in love. In fact, my Goth is in love with a man who regularly eats pork products.)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaanyway, one thing leads to another and boom! Teen sex happens. Craig convinces Rosie to spend the night even though Keef and Audrey come home.

Personally, I hope they don’t get caught. I know, teen sex bad, but they’re kind of sweet.

I Should Be So Fat
Frankie comes home to find Carol on the couch and crusty. She was going to put up the Christmas decorations, but found some Santa that Jamie made and got depressed about missing all these Christmases with Jamie.

So, being Carol she redirects that energy into being a bitch to Frankie, even after Frankie points out that it was Warren that made the Santa.

Then Carol calls Frankie fat….so she’s a bitch.

I Should Be So Fat – Part Deux
Dr.Phil tries to give David a grilled cheese sandwich with mustard and he calls Phil phat.

A lot of mouthy David crap ensues… he’s an ass.

Oh damnit…Kelly.
Kelly takes Lloyd out for a fancy dinner, but when he cautions her about spending all her lotto winnings, she gets upset. He decides that he’s had enough and walks out on her.

This leaves Kelly to get home by herself and she is accosted by some yob on the street. After she tells him to beat it, he comes back and mugs her. He takes her new phone, her new purse, her money and then makes her go to the ATM to clean out her account.

She goes to the police to report it, but is further upset by the fact that the first thing the cops ask is if the mugger was black. She calls Lloyd who does a nice job of comforting her.

That really sucks that she was mugged though…I liked rich Kelly.

In Other News
Mike invites Danny boy and Leanne for family Christmas.

Also, Nick ran off to Amsterdam will all the family savings, and Sumesh has decided to go back to India....oh wait....that's the other soap.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Update for Episode # 6185 September 6, 2006

The management team at Underworld in an intense staff meeting.

The MacDonalds

Steve is up early in his flat and proceeds to trip over various and sundry bits of drum kit scattered about the floor. Liz comes out of her boudoir and tells him to keep quiet, because Vernon needs his sleep after a late gig and a night of shagging the queen of the Cougars.

Later at Streetcars Lloyd and Steve have a chat about the current sleeping arrangements with Steve and Ronnie. It seems Steve is Mister Cranky Pants because Ronnie spent the night in her flat. Her first night alone in her flat that is. Steve is turning into an insecure possessive git just like the ex-husband used to be. They kiss and make up in the the end though. Steve and Ronnie that is.

The Websters

Sally and Kevin come into the dining room and find Rosie crying into her breakfast. Being concerned parents they try to find out what is wrong - did something go horribly wrong at the Oak Hill dance the night before? Did Craig break up with her? Was there another girl? It turns out that during the dance Craig went to the loo and failed to return in a reasonable amount of time. Fearing the worst, Rosie went looking for him and found him in a compromising position - eating a sausage roll.

It seems that Craig claimed to be a vegetarian because of his love for Rosie, and if he is eating a sausage roll, ergo he must no longer love Rosie, hence the tears.

Later on after some awkward conversation, and Rosie finding Craig in another compromising postion the two young love birds make up and have a snog in the doorway of number 13.

The Baldwins

Adam continues to try and wind Danny up over the hotel bills and anything else he can think of. Danny continues to mutter into his scotch about sending his kilt clad kid brother back over Hadrian's Wall with a good kick in the arse. Leanne continues to whisper into Danny's ear about how he has to get into Mike's good books and keep Adam out of the big chair at the factory. Mike continues to be oblivious about what is transpiring between his sons.

Carol and Jamie have a chat in the cafe about what Carol can do in the future for work since she no longer has a job at the bookies. Luckily for her boss Eric from comes in to apologize for his caddish behaviour at The Clock and let her know that she was never fired after all, he thought she had left on her own volition. In the end, all is well.

The Platts

Gail and Phil are spending some quality time together and Phil manages to weasel himself a Christmas invite with Gail and her happy brood.

Gail gets a call on her mobile from the school informing her that David is truant, and not for the first time it would seem. When Gail sees David on the street later she confronts him about missing school but he deflects what his mom has to say and walks off.

Phil offers pyschological insights about David's behaviour, but to no avail. A phone call to Martin in Liverpool is of no help either, as he has to go the Christmas do from Robyn's workplace.

The Alahans

Sunita is shopping at the Corner Shop since it is too far to the Freshco. Her and Dev snipe at each other as is their wont these days. In the end Sunita doesn't pay for her goods and Dev can't carry her bags up to the flat.

Amber comes in and tells Dev 'I seriously hate you'. Nice. They have a chat about family matters and why things are the way they are. No resolution is reached but Amber seems intent on calling her father 'King Dev'.

Later when Craig is working in the shop Amber comes in and proceeds to behave in a suspicious fashion. Craig threatens to call the police and then tries to subdue Amber. Of course Rosie walks in at this moment and finds the two teens in what looks like some sort of an embrace. (see earlier compromising position reference) Craig says that Amber is barmy and has never seem her before in his life. Dev comes back and order is restored.

Norris and Keith and Kelly and Lloyd and Betty

Keith and Norris are in The Kabin talking about the good old days when you could buy a house for a tuppence and how foolish it is to waste money on lottery tickets.

Kelly comes in and buys a Scratch and win and wins 2500 pounds. Much rejoicing ensues. A short time later we see the girls from Underworld drinking champagne at The Rovers. Lloyd advises Kelly not to spend her winnings on drink but she puts him in his place, saying she is only spending her earnings.

Betty is done her Christmas shopping well in advance, seemingly because most of her loved ones are already dead.