Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Meat Free Update
It Was Really Only a Matter of Time
Before Vegetarian Rosie and her lackey Craig decided to do something about that shop of death on the street. They chain themselves to the front door of Fred’s Butchers in order to prevent customers from coming in. They plan to protest aaaaaaaaaaaalll day long despite the fact that, as David points out, they didn’t go to the loo beforehand.
Fred sees them and does a lot of stuttering, I say, a lot of stuttering. He threatens to give them the back of his hand or call in the police. Meanwhile Fizz and Janice show up to say how now they’re going to have to go to Maddox for their sausages.
Oooo, I never realized that a Maddox Sausage was so popular with the ladies! (Sorry – I was channeling the ghost of Frankie Howard for a mo.)
After Rosie throws the key to the padlock down her top, Fred is really at a lost about what to do. About that time Sal notices her eldest not enjoying the benefits of a public school education, and takes immediate action. She comes back with a bad ass set of cutters and proceeds to cut the lock – but not before Rosie tries to stop her by putting her finger in the way of the cutters. Deciding that she prefers to keep all 10 fingers for black enamel treatments, she pulls away at the last moment and Sally cuts the lock and sends the delinquents on their way back to school.
Okay, I cheered as Sal kicked ass in this episode.
Stop right there - I gotta know right now - Before we go any further
Jason comes calling around the salon for our Miss Platt to see if she’s up for some slap and tickle later in the day. Just as Sarah is in the midst of her coyish game, Audrey and Maria come into the shop. Sarah says something about Jason fixing her shelves, but you can see Maria’s not really buying it.
Later on the two meet up and go to Charlie’s office to make sweet, sweet love. The plan is foiled when they see Charlie working away at his plan to take over the world, one old slapper at a time.
They very discretely going running down the street laughing, yelling and holding hands in search of an available bed. Jason’s place is no good because Sean is practicing for his upcoming starring role in the Weatherfield stage production of ‘Carmen Miranda Lives!: Don’t Cry for Me Chiquita Banana.’
Finally they find the Platts’ place empty and just as they go rushing upstairs tearing off all their clothes, Sarah makes Jason tell her that they are really, really going out and that he’s really, really going to break it off with Violet.
Jason’s response is, ‘Yeah, sure, yeah, sure, yeah, sure.’.
Sweetie – he can’t even hear the words you are saying right now. It’s like you’re talking like the adults in the old Charlie Brown show.
Oh yeah, David catches them a bit later in the show and acts smug.
More fun ensues at the Baldwin house as Carol starts clawing at the walls when the full effects of drying out take effect.
She hurls insults at Frankie and when Jamie tells her to ease off, she says that it’s the only thing that makes her feel normal. Frankie, Lamb of Weatherfield, tells her to go ahead if that’s going to help. Carol tells her that now she’s taken the fun out of it.
Jamie then offers to let Carol hit him if that will help her out and she replies, ‘Why would I punch my own son, you’re the only thing that keeps me sane.’
Mr. Glacia: Doesn’t seem to be working too well.
Meanwhile, Danny is trying to win Frankie back and tells her that there’s nothing, NOTHING that’s going to stop him from getting her back. Nothing, except of course, if Frankie asks him to help her take care of Carol.
Frankie is exhausted and wants Danny to help get Carol back on her feet as a way to make up to Jamie. She says that if they don’t he’s likely to leave them for Carol. Danny responds with an open jaw stare and an offer of some McDonald’s coupons.
BTW – When Frankie says something about how she has wronged Jamie, Mr. Glacia finally asked who was who in the Baldwin drama and I got the absolute pleasure of telling him how Carol was the first wife and Frankie was the babysitter that Danny ran away with.
Mr.Glacia: Then he sleeps with the boy’s girlfriend?
Glacia: Oh jes.
Mr. Glacia: Noooooooooooooooooooooo!
Mr. Glacia: HA! That is a story out of soapland.
How Much is That Stoly In the Window?
Finally we see Carol with her face pressed up against the window of the Rovers crying and eventually talking herself out of going in. Hurrah!
Jamie and Frankie are there to get her, congratulate her and take her home.
Who the HELL Doesn’t Like Cheese on Toast?!
Molly convinces Kirk-eh that Fizz is a dominating force in his life. She tells him NOT to rush home to the meal she’s prepared for her and have another drink or two if he wants.
He takes her advice and when he does come home he tells Fizz that Cheese on Toast is NOT his favorite meal, it’s hers! Then he passes out on the couch.
Mr. Glacia: Some of these people are real winners
Dev come screaming into the Rovers (where Sunita is now working) after receiving divorce papers from her. Sally convinces him to leave and makes sure Sunita is okay.
Sunita then goes to see him and he thinks she’s come over to talk things through. But she’s only come to tell him that he’s not to cause another scene like that again and from now on they need to talk through solicitors.