Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Update - July 5th

Woke Up This Morning, Got Myself a Gun...
Jimmy Clayton sees Steve and Moley embracing. He is displeased. Steve departs, it should be noted, alive. Moley enters the Rovers to order a ploughman's lunch when Jimmy joins her. He commands her to return to her obvious life of rainbows and sunshine with him. He says he wants his "posession" back. With sweet talk like that, he must be fighting the ladies off with a stick.

Liz goes to warn Steve who returns to the Rovers just after Jimmie leaves. Moley warns Steve that he doesn't know what he's gotten himself into.

Steve wants to go talk with Jimmy but Moley warns him that he'll be torn apart. Steve it's best to make the first move, rather than be caught by surpise.

Tracy meanwhile comes to drop off Amy for a little impromtu babysitting but warns Steve that Moley is to steer clear of the baby, fearing what kind of influence she'd be. She has a point, Moley could try something crazy, like sell her or something.

Steve meets up with Jimmy and his son at Weatherfield Arms, home of the portrait of disgraced England Football captain David Beckham in craculature. Steve asks Jimmy if they can call a truce and offers them a drink. Jimmy agrees but tells his son that they won't "whack" him just yet. They'll plan something special for Steve. Like a lowering him into a tank full of sharks with lasers on their heads or some other elaborate and poorly guarded trap that features an obvious escape route.

By the way, you can tell they're gangsters because they use words like "whack." This means they're killers. Or that they watch a lot of American TV on Sky.

Are You There, God? It's Me, Les Battersby.

Les is driving the Vicar of Cheshire back to his parrish, a nice 17th century church in the country. Les discovers it costs more money than he'd like to pay for a wedding so soon. Also this priest doesn't like to marry divorcées. Les thinks the church ought to be more flexible if they want more people to attend service. He isn't the only one.

Les enters the church and prays to God that his wedding will go well. The vicar comes back and tells him the church is open all day with no CCTV as it's out the country and nobody's around. Suddenly Les feels much better about everything after receiving this entirely extraneous piece of information. If only there were some way the writers could work it into a plot point.

I'm Just Sitting Here Talkin' with My Baby Over Cigarettes and Coffee, Now

Deirdre comes into the corner to buy some mints and Norris lets it slip that Ken has ordered him not to sell her any cigarettes. Deirdre is outraged and really, she should be. Norris is right to call it "paternalistic."

She confronts Ken about what he did and he claims it was the only way to push her to quit. She says if she quits, he should give up a vice of his. Ken smugly claims to have none. Blanche helpfully points out his dragon breath after 15 cups of coffee a day and Deirdre decides he's going to give up caffeine.

In Other News

Janice is still causing shit at Underworld, even though the secret is out and Leanne is gone. Danny warns her to cut it out but she says he has no authority anymore.

Plattman and Robyn Continues

Robyn comes by Martin's flat to explain why she no longer wants to see him. Ah, we think, the girls at the high school warned her about him. Alas, no. Her brother is a cop and did some checking. It was the assault on Todd's boyfriend Karl. And the murder charge. Ah, but that was dropped, he explains. Turns out it was the guy's daughter. Who was she? Oh just my fifteen year old girlfriend. You can't talk to her, though. She's dead. Suicide.

That didn't sound so bad after all. If Robyn can accept that, she'll have no problem with the REALLY freaky stuff he's into.


Jacqueline said...

You know...Mr.Glacia asked me to quit smoking at the begining of the year and in exchange he would give up cookies and chips.

I STILL think I got the wrong end of the stick. Seriously, how addictive are cookies and chips?

I kind of feel for Deidre.

John said...

How addictive are cookies and chips? My 40" waistline says very addictive.

Pamer said...

apparently my wife decided i needed to give up sex...believe me, mints don't help

papasmurf said...

I could never give up coffee.

I would surely perish.

Jacqueline said...

i want a smoke. i want a fag. i want a cig.

I want a long Benson & Hedges Ultra Light King that I can puff away at, pretending I'm one of those rich English ladies I used to ring up grocercies for in Rosedale.

God Damn spouse that cares about my health!

John said...

But Jacqueline, if you smoke, you'll lose your high-pitched squeaky lisp and end up talking like the later years Lucille Ball.

missusmac said...

I feel for Deirdre because Ken is a sanctimonious #*&$*&#!

She'll never be able to give up the fags if she keeps boozing it up with Frankie.

Sigh, a drink hasn't quite tasted the same since I quit puffing. The good news is, I have much more $ to spend on booze now that I don't smoke...