Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Update - All Men are Philanderers, Perverts, or Liars Edition

At the request of Jacqueline, who is busy tonight helping Angelina Jolie choose the most appropriate hue for her next adopted child, I have agreed to do tonight's update.

Bedroom Farce

Janice has just walked in on Danny and Leanne. Danny tries to come up with an excuse but Leanne tells him Janice already knows about her having an affair. Now Janice says, she knows with whom.

Life then becomes incredibly complicated for Danny, who has become particularly attentive to Frankie as he knows this is going to blow up in his face. He notes how Frankie has settled into the neighbourhood and hangs out with Jack and Vera and even plays dominos with Keith. This is true. Remember when she first arrived and how snooty she was toward her new surroundings? In the span of one week, she adapted and stopped being a snob, relying on her council estate roots to fit in. She's actually become quite likeable.

Janice, meanwhile, lectured Leanne about her affair for about five minutes and then turns around to exercice some power over Danny. She gets free beer and the ability to slack off at work.

Foot Farce

After Sean arranged yet another bait n' switch visit from Dr. Phil, Eileen and the good doctor almost kiss and agree to go on a date, after Phil interviews Sarah-Lou.

At the Platts, Gail is asked in a roundabout way to feck off while he interviews Sarah-Lou. At the Rover's she meets Eileen who tells her she's waiting for Phil as they're going on a date and he gave her his class ring to wear and everything. Words are exchanged and Gail storms back and yells at Phil, who thinks Eileen had something to do with this.

He is angry. Sarah-Lou is crying. Gail is crying. Eileen gets stood up and is crying.

Status Quo Farce

Les and his sollicitor meet with the Quo's slick lawyer to discuss his case against them. Meanwhile, Cilla and Yana have been spending money they don't have saying they envy poor people who don't have to worry about shopping all day. At lawyers, Les produces photographic evidence of his assault: Kirk's remarkably well positioned pics. The lawyer bends a bit and suggests, for the right price, that this incident could be smoothed over.

The price? Status Quo play at his wedding, free of charge. And no compensation. He tells Cilla the good news, he gets punched. Again.

Nathan Farce

Tracy is using Nathan to make Steve jealous, saying he's makes a good father figure for Amy.

Darts Farce

Kelly thinks Lloyd is lying about his darts night. He becomes all attentive and starts taking her out to nice places, even if his answers to her questions about darts night don't add up. Janice, Joanne, and Kelly decide to follow him out on "darts night." They see him embracing a woman. Kelly is devastated. Janice, who takes shameful joy in the misery of others, is delighted.

Could just be his crack dealer, you know.

Pastry Farce

Diggory is leching on Liz by getting her to do a lot of bending over. It's basically sexual harassment. She's clearly uncomfortable with the situation. She compares him to Benny Hill. Except when Benny Hill did it, it was bawdy and comical and they played that sped up saxophone music. When Diggory does it, it's just creepy and gross.

And how does Liz survive in a non-smoking business?


Jacqueline said...

#1 - If Danny has cheated on Frankie before, any attempts to be extra nice to her should raise the warning flags, 'n'est pas'?

#2 - Dr.Phil, please shave. You look EXTREMELY creepy right now.

#3 - I'm going to see how many times I can incorporate the phrase 'Darts Farce' into conversation to day. No easy task as I work alone from home.

GoBetty said...

I love the kinder, gentler Frankie in her 7 For All Mankind Jeans, fussing over the washing machine. But who the heck is Keith (I'm having abrain fart?)

God, the Phil - Eileen - Chinless Wonder Gail Bizarre Love Triangle is so very boring. Gail just NEVER GETS IT. But the most cutting phrase of all? Sarah Louise saying to Eileen, "By the way, you look ridiculous." Ouch.

The Status Quo thing has had me in stitches. Leave it to Les...

I don't see how Lloyd will get out of this one. Poor Kelly Crabtree.

Jacqueline said...

keith is craig's granddad

papasmurf said...

Ah Benny Hill - a true comic genius. The Status Quo story line has been quite fun - I think Les is my favourite character these days.

GoBetty said...

OMG, how could I forget pig-raising, Audrey-dating, penny-pinching KEITH? Angela's dad? Craig's surrogate? Gail's neighbour? Thanks... :-)

missusmac said...

Jacqueline, I agree. With the forest on his face, Dr. Phil looks like a street person. Blech, take a bath.

I know romantic times are tough for both Gail and Eileen, but hey, Charlie seems to have some free time on his hands now...