Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Weekend Update Part 1

Charlie Says 'No'

Stepford Shel is really making progress with Dr. Finchy and we can see her self confidence coming back and she even ventures downstairs to pull a few pints.

She is, however, a little defensive when anyone congratulates her on 'coming down the stairs'. Sean does his best Liza imprerssionation and hugs Shel in a great big, 'you go girl' fest. Shel looks like she might hurl.

Dr. Finchy suggests that Shel call up her mom to kiss and make up. Shel thinks this is a brill idea until she brings it up with Charlie.

Charlie says, 'No.'.

Cilla says, 'No'.
Cilla and Yana spell it out for our man Les, no ring, no bride. To prove she's serious about getting an engagment ring, she does nothing for Les's 50th birthday. (Never mind mate, the Corrie Canucks wish you many happy returns.).

Policeman says, 'No'.
Les decides to go to the cop shop and tell them that he has 'lost' the engagement ring he bought for his betrothed and could he just have a look at the ones in their lost and found to see if his ring is there.

As they are letting Les peruse the bijoux, the cop in charge has an underling run a check on Mr. Battersby. Sure enough, there's a list of run-ins as long as one Roy's pedantic speeches. The copper knows that Les is up to no good and tells him to take a hike.

Barlows say, 'No'.
Les spys Adam and Mike in front of a pricey automobile, and just in case their privilaged lifestyle escapes Les, Ken says, 'There is a lucky young man, he has had 2 sports cars.'

So in one of the most painful, wincing moments I've ever seen on Corrie, Les asks the young Mr. Barlow for a loan and adds, 'It's my birthday.'

Ow! Did he just say, 'It's my birthday.'?

In the grand style of the British upper set, the Barlows laugh in his face and go motoring off to hunt peasants...I mean phesants.

Cilla says, 'Yes'.
Somehow Les manages to come up with the money to buy a ring for Lady Cilla and shows it off to Yana at the Rovers. Yana tries to get everyone to be quiet so that the entire community can witness the beautiful proposal.

Cilla comes out of the can and at that moment Les gets down on bended need to ask for Cillas newly washed hand in marriage. She agrees and Les is so excited that turns into Mickey Rorke and says he wants a round of drinks, 'for all my friends!'.

Headmaster says, 'No.'
Sophie goes skipping off to her first day at Weatherfield high along with our Chesney. She's is turned away at the gates as 'somebody' forgot to register her there because 'somebody' thought that Sophie would be going to Awk-hill.

Sally has to go to Weatherfield High to talk to the headmaster about squeezing Sophie into the school. Turns out that the new Headmaster is the same teacher that Sally spook to a few months earlier (Something about Weatherfield being a school for losers and nerds and that her girls were 'winners' and too good for this weak-ass school, biotch.)

Turns out the Headmaster *remembered* that conversation and wishes Sally luck on finding Sophie placement at some *other* school.

The Knights Who Say 'Nit'..
Or is it lice? Cause nit and lice are the same thing, right?

Anyway, the House of Webster seems to be producing their fair share of head bugs. Sophie has contracted nits and after being told by Sally that she was to go nowhere, she decided to go outside and play football with Chesney

Almost immeidiately, Chesney gets nits and then Janice gets nits from some wierd head to ball to head transference when she gets hit in the head with the football.

The House of Webster decides to go the primate route and pick through each family members hair killing each nit individually. (Only to discover that Sally has nits too.)

Janice decides to take more drastic measures and shave her really doesn't do anything to 'fem' her up.

Fizz washes Chesneys' head with some proven nit killer tonic. This shampoo works wonders and she passes it on to Janice because apparantly shaving your head does not get rid of the nits (note to self). Then Fizz sends the bottle of shampoo over to the House of Webster.

There is a great row later in the Rovers between Janice and Sally over the nit situation and Janice seems to be triumphing until Sally lets her know that the 'shampoo' was flea and tick shampoo for dogs.

Everyone in the bar laughs cruelly, very cruelly at Janice.

Poor bloody Janice. I mean if I had the choice between having lice and using dog shampoo on my head...I'm taking the dog shampoo everytime. woof-woof.


John said...

I missed the bit where Les found the money for the ring. How did he find/borrow it?

Les also asked Cilla if she wants him to go into debt to pay for a ring. For all his faults, Les a) owns his house, and b)is debt free. He's two up on me.

GoBetty said...

I think Les just got a regular loan... (I assume). And what is that picture up top of this entry????

lori said...

No, I don't think Les owns house, I think they are 'council flats' and they got cheap rent for being a family. Les almost was evicted once when Janice left him, and he and Kirk had to pretend to be a gay couple (which went spectacularly wrong if I remember right). The picture at the top of the thread is from Little Britain.

Jacqueline said...

I don't think they say where Les got the money. I'm assuming that it's a loan too.

The pic at the top is from Little Britain. It's the bank lady (now a travel agent) who checks to see if peeps are eligible for a bank loan or whatever and responds with, 'Computer says, 'no'.'

John said...

I figured all the houses on the street were either owner occupied or owned by someone nearby. I've never heard of Les talk about the landlord so I just assumed he owns the place, somehow.

Unless, as Lori suggests, at some point in the past, the house was taken over by the council and he rents from them, which makes more sense when you think of it.

I think I need to email Daran Little to ask who owns what real estate over there. He'd know.

John said...

Found it on

Number 5:

March 1997: Property taken over by the council and moves in Janice and Les Battersby with daughters Leanne and Toyah.

Lori was correct.

papasmurf said...

Blanche owns the place where Danny and Frankie live if I recall correctly...

John said...

And Steve used to own Eileen's house until he sold it for some cash for something Karen wanted.

Jacqueline said...

I think she needed new boots.

Ang said...

Thanks for the update!!! I'm not too disappointed I missed Sunday now... lice.. yuck!