Hope nobody minds if I pop in to recap the Thursday episode:
Mother of the Year
Deidre takes Tracey to task over her plan to lie about Amy's paternity. Tracey begins to cry, saying, "He was using me to get to Amy." Tracey then acquaints herself with the colours of both the pot and kettle.
Deidre later meets Liz in the Rovers where they discuss the latest developments, make up, and then just as quickly start rowing again.
Meanwhile, Steve is bending Bev's ear about the whole deal. Bev tells him he's right to feel this way.
Ever notice how the Rovers is where you go for a few drinks and some laughs with your friends but if you want to get blind drunk and pick up, it's the Weatherfield Arms?
Weatherfield's Next Top Model
At Viva Diva, Julia the fashionista, tells Candice what everyone in the universe already knows: that she'll never be a model. The reasons given are threefold:
- She dresses like she "just climbed out of a parked car twenty pounds better off."
- Her bum is non-existent.
- Warren loves her but not as much as she loves herself.
Later in the Rovers, Candice learns Warren's no longer a footballer which makes him nothing and more importantly, makes her a non-footballer's wife. She then projects her own failures onto him, calling him a loser and annoucing the end of their relationship.
Warren says something like "Candithe, no!" but his lisp, cockney accent and blubbering make it impossible.
Frontiers of Construction
A journalist from the Gazette has come into Roy's Rolls to see his machine for a story. Roy quickly reminds him that the invention is his grandfather's and he merely a tool in the endeavour. The reporter makes a note that Roy is a tool.
If You Can't Be With the One You Love (Get the One You're With Drunk and Make a Pass at Her)
Charlie and Shelley are sitting in her bed. Shelley can't wait to get the nip/tuck and Charlie can't wait to play Stern Landlady and the Unruly Customer. Shelley just can't and Charlie storms out leaving Shelley begs after him, "Charlie, come back! I'll let you!"
Too late, Shel, as Charlie has decided to have a bonding/boozing session with Violet. They kiss in the way two drunk people kiss when they're five minutes away from unprotected sex. To that end, Charlie tells Violet he'll be right back and runs off to find condoms (I'm speculating here). Violet collects herself enough to stop herself from making a big mistake. Charlie spies her heading for the exit.
"Charlie," she says. "I can't."
"You sound just like that slag upstairs," he replies.
Just when you thought that storyline couldn't get any uglier.
The Great Escape
Scooter and Sarah liberate Mrs. Maloney's sick carp but are noticed by just about everyone on the street. Scooter, next time try a less conspicuous getaway vehicle.