Thursday, April 06, 2006

Blind Update

The New Jan Brady
Stepford Shel comes home from the hospital sporting a new pair of sunglasses and a cap that makes her look like the lovechild of Jackie O. and Steven Spielberg. She does this weird bit about how good she will look once the bruising has gone down, ‘The new me!’ she proclaims.

Unfortunately, the old Jan Brady needs to somehow get upstairs to her room without anyone seeing her. She doesn’t want to leave the car even after Charlie makes sure the ‘coast’ is clear.

He ends up dragging her from the car to the indoors. Ciaren sees this and is more than convinced that Charlie is beating Shel and that the reason she went to the hospital is because she needed to be treated for Charlie induced injuries.

Once back up the stairs, Shel decides that she wants to stay in the bedroom for a couple of weeks and that she won’t go with Charlie to Scotland. Charlie has a fit and convinces her to go on the trip, but when she goes down the stairs, she runs into ‘people’ and goes fleeing back up the stairs.

Charlie goes up and forces her to come down the stairs and get into the car for their trip. It gets kind of weird and Jerry Springerish as she fights to go back in the house.

Note to Shel, you might really want to consider Scotland.

I’m just saying.

You Did What With My Missus?
One of Charlie’s clients comes to visit and says to Charlie that he received a phone call from some woman who pretended to be from a Customer Satisfaction survey.

He told Charlie that the woman suggested that Charlie had slept with his wife. Charlie refutes that and says that he didn’t lay a hand of Mr.’s wife.

Mr. Client says that if he had he’d have him arrested because his wife has been dead for 18 months.

Glacia laughs hardily at this.

‘What did the woman sound like?’ Charlie asks

‘Middle aged and drunk.’ Offers up Mr. Client.

I’d suggest who the culprit is, but quite frankly I’m baffled who that could be.

My God, if only I could take a stab at it! Maybe it was Carol.

Anyway, Charlie’s pissed, but decides to put it all on whole because he’s picking Shel upfrom the hospital after her plastic surgery and then they’re OFF to Scotland. Hurrah!

I Wrote a Poem
Danny and Leanne having naked tea

We get a whole scene of nekked Leanne and Danny sharing breakfast in bed. Leanne asks him if he loves Frankie. Danny says he does love her, more than any woman before.

‘So why you doing this, then?’ she asks. Danny responds with some weird analogy between skiing and humping your son’s girlfriend. I don’t get it.

101 Damnations
Jack and Vera have convinced Maria to keep her share of the kennels and sell it for a nice profit.

Maria tells Kirkeh and Fizz who seem positively gobsmacked.

Meanwhile back at Chez Battersby, Cilla is loving Kirkeh’s new look…monied.

Don’t Be Koi
Scooter and Sarah are Weatherfield’s Two as they enjoy their new freedom. But at what cost?

Sarah pleaded guilty and Scooter got suspended from his job for using the skip.

Gayle is not loving it, but seems to be placated by Scooter when he explains his moral reasoning behind stealing the fish in the first place. ‘Evil triumphs when good men do nothing.’

Scooter’s starting to win me over.

Speaking of Scooters
Blanche has a new one thanks to Deidre. She has one of those people moving electronic scooters to match her Polish hip.

Of course what she needs now is the plastic flag waving from the back of the vehicle, a million bumper stickers, a wee stuffed animal for the front and a honky honk horn on the side.

Come on Kev! Pimp her ride!


John said...

Blanche's imagined trick-out scooter reminds me of a Mark McKinney character in "The Kids in the Hall:"


Jacqueline said...

glacia sprays juice all over her computer.

Not my cable!!!

mare said...

heh heh heh, kids in the hall. :)

i am feeling guilty. every time shel is on the screen and whines, every time charlie does something stubbs-ish, i can't help but think she's bringing it on herself at this point... and then i think to myself, that's terrible, because it is clearly an emotionally abusive situation, that charlie has systematically isolated shelley from her support network and is now pissed off at her that she's come out needy and that he's not getting any...

but it's the whininess. and the crazy. know what i mean?

Jacqueline said...

okay...putting my charlie bias aside....I don't knwo if this was ALL his doing.

How long have they been together? Not that long. And while I realize that they have to make things move fast in a soap, I don't know if someone would become that big of a shut in from his 6 months of emotional abuse.

I'm wondering if other things have gone on that cause the slightest provication from Charlie to send her into this nuttiness?

Or maybe she's subconciously using this behaviour to control him? He doesn't exactly have control over the situation right now does he?

I don't know. I'm kind of fed up with her and unfortuantely I think a bit of human nature gives us little patience with that level of victimization.

But don't take my feminism card away. Charlie's an ass.

Mushy Pea said...

Is it just me that thinks it's odd but I've been wondering if it's possible to be able to go for a consultation for plastic surgery one day and already have it done a couple of days later? It seems odd that Shelly was able to get everything done so quickly.

mare said...

well, it would explain the horrific scarring if she had it done on the cheap and quick-like.

i'm just tired of shelley playing the victim. i know, she is one, but right now there are catholic saints that did martyrdom less well than our shel. everything is such a trial.

glacia, i think you have a point in that they really haven't been together all that long for her to be so far 'round the bend.

can we just get an intervention and get this storyline done? please? it's giving me the willies.

lexa said...

I will be soooo glad when this Shelley/Charlie storyline is done and over with! It's dragged on long enough, it's getting on my nerves! I've disliked Charlie from the get-go. I bet he's probably the greatest guy in real life, so I guess it means he's playing his part very well!

Anonymous said...

I agree the Shelley/Charlie storyline has been going on for ages but, for me, it's just getting good. Some of their scenes are so well done that they're difficult to watch.
~ Jennifer