Tuesday, March 14, 2006

The Corrie Canuck Limericks Challenge

Last week we asked you to post your Coronation Street limericks and the results are in. A round of applause, please, for our talented in-house poets Geoff, Pamer and Pauline.


GEOFF’S LIMERICKS






Our Craig is a gorgeous young goth
Who's incurring our Sally's wrath.
He's obsessed with her daughter,
But Sal's got the water
To put out the flame to his moth.






Deirdre's old mother, Blanche Hunt
Was at first sight a miserable cow.
But with her put downs,
Became Queen of the town.
She's our favourite character now.







Men young and old must take heed
Of Mrs Langton/Barlow/Rachid.
Though she looks like no sinner,
She'll eat you for dinner,
For Ken's not enough for her needs.






Squeaky voiced simpleton Ash
Was eating his sausage and mash,
As Hillman instead
Of bashing Em's head,
Gave Maxine the fatal gash.






There is a young man called Tyrone
Who's like a dog with a bone
When he's with Maria,
But when he don't see her,
Tyrone has to do it alone.






If you want some household repairs
Stubbsy's your man, if you dare.
He doesn't take tips
But his cruel, twisted lips
Will entice you back to his lair.




PAMER’S LIMERICKS








Our Fred is so sweet, I say sweet
And the Rovers is just down the street
With Mancunian flair
He has not a care
Except when he's pounding his meat







Our poor little chickie Candice
Is definitely a hot little piece
She shows lots of totty
To prove she's a hotty
Now let's see her wrestle in grease







Violet is a woman of grace
But sometimes just occupies space
With a smile that's wry
Her Martinis are dry
Too bad she got stuck with our Jase







Steve used to have hair on his head
How did Tracy end up in his bed?
It wouldn't be wise
To choose an Oirish prize
Cuz with Tracy, he'll end up dead



PAULINE’S LIMERICK





THERE WAS A MAD WITCH NAMED MAYA,
WHOSE ATTEMPT AT REVENGE DIDN'T TIRE,
SO A BOMB SHE DID PLACE,
RIGHT IN FRONT OF DEV'S FACE,
NOW SHE HAS WHAT SHE SEEKS,
WHICH IS THAT DEV WON'T SELL BAKED BEANS FOR WEEKS.

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