Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Scratch, Stretch, Yawn...Post Olympics Warmup UPDATE
(Special Mardi Gras shout out to my girl, MJ.)
Glacia gets her ass off the couch, bends her neck to the left, to the right, scratches her leg, yawns and shuffles towards the kitchen for cup of tea. Once said tea is prepared, she grabs a Dutch bickie and moves slowly back to the couch - careful to step over sleeping German Shepherd.
Still opening her eyes and patting her bedhead - she grabs the remote and clicks on the CBC (whom she still hasn't forgiven for the Wonderland issue)just in time to hear the haunting refrain play as the camera scans over Weatherfield. Glacia wonders why the hell they didn't just replace the cat for the opening shot.
And so it begins, with 24 medals under our belt, Canada resumes its regular schedule programming.
Night of the Living Shel.
Okay - when even Charlie is thinking you're crazy, it's time to 'Get back to your real life, bitch!'
The opening scene had Charlie at Shel's bed side where they are once again doing their 'It's just you and me against the world, babe' schtick. For a moment I thought the CBC was rerunning episodes from 3 weeks ago and I was ready to send a strongly worded letter to Casey AND Finnegan.
So Shel is afraid to come back to work. Charlie spends the episode trying to convince her to come back and they make a few attempts at having her come-down-the-stairs. But she keeps on just running BACK up those stairs - the final attempt being when she see Sunita.
This story line is getting old as far as I'm concerned.
Bev is worried that she is a bad mom for Shel.
Um...okay...you kind of have been a crap mom.
Liz assures her that she is a brill mom.
No, not with your track history.
And Baby Makes Three
Haley catches Sunita reading a baby magazine, but Sunita passes it off as shark research. (WTF?) And wouldn't you know it, Roy, just happens to know a LOT about sharks.
So the two couples are at the Rovers where Roy gives a 2 hour lecture on all things Jaws. The level of boredom is so dangerously overwhelming that Sunita, obviously fearful for her life and that of her unborn child's, changes the subject by announcing her pregnancy. Dev jumps on the parade and buys the house a round of drinks.
He even tells Charlie who congratulates them both. Charlie then uses this news to lure Shel into becoming one of the ex-housebound. 'Sunita's got some news for you, but you'll just have to walk across the street and get it yourself.'
Maria convinces Tyrone to drop hints around the garage that he's being offered a job at another place so that Kev will give him a raise. Being the soul of discretion, Tyrone slips the newspaper ad into Kev's jeans. 'My god! How did THAT get in there?'
Kev calls both Maria and Tyrone idiots and that's about the end of that.
On the other job front, Danny offers Sal a job as a machinist with a view to being a supervisor and Sal jumps at the opportunity.
Days of Wine and Beer
Steve runs into his mom, just as she's making arrangements with 'Bob' (be sure to pronounce it with menacing Manchester accent when reading this) to go to a wine testing event.
This confirms to Steve that 'Bob' is obviously gay. Later we see him in all his Homer Simpsonesque glory, sprawled out on the couch with his male pattern baldness and beer asking Tracey why anyone in their right mind go to a wine tasting event.
No worries Stevo - help is on the way. No longer must wine be an inaccessible commodity only fit for the hauty blue bloods!
I have recently received the following exciting news.
Wal-Mart announced that they will soon be offering customers a new discount item: Wal-Mart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery of California, to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2-5 range.
Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand into their shopping carts, but "there is a market for cheap wine", said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing. She said: "But the right name is important."
Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the Wal-Mart brand. The top surveyed names in order of popularity are:
10. Chateau Traileur Parc
9. White Trashfindel
8. Big Red Gulp
7. World Championship Riesling
5. Chef Boyardeaux
4. Peanut Noir
3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar!
2. Grape Expectations
And the number 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine:
1. Nasti Spumante
The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel).
Source: That goofy dutch girl I know who always sends me joke emails