Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Update - How NOT To Seduce A Woman in 1 Easy Lesson

Lesson #1 - Make her pay for lunch.

Call me a Material Girl...but is that horseshit or what?

Gandalf 'allowed' Audrey to buy him lunch where he immediately drank half of France's brandy supply. They returned to the Rovers where he got even more loaded, starting pawing at her and asking where they could go for a 'lie down'. (Jacqueline shudders). Suggested lie down places - her place, the salon, the rovers....

At this point, Fred is looking with concern over at them. There's Gandalf - unkempt and drunk with busy hands.

Hmmmm...you know, everything is relative. Fred never looked sexier than he did last night.

Bizarre Love Triangle
Danny convinces Leanne that Jamie (yesssssssss! got it right this time!) is having an affair. They then arrange to have some fun at her place around 2 pm while Janice is at work.

However, Jamie gets Leanne to the Rovers and explains that he was visiting his mom. Leanne, in a fit of morality, cancels the rendez-vous avec le Papa.

Diggery-Do
Diggery Do is walking into all the shops in Weatherfield handing out flyers to his bakery and tempting folks with free cakes. This of course, puts him in bad terms with all the businessmen on the street.

There was a brilliant scene where Fred confronts Diggery -Do in the Rovers and tells him he can't solicit customers at the pub. Then they kind of have this barking match.

It was like watching Clone Wars - except the clones are not some sexy Maori guy, the clones are 'Jabba the Hut'.

Charlie, You're An Ass. (and stop being sexy)
Charlie got knocked down by the husband of some woman he's been sleeping with and ended up with a black eye.

As he passed Dev on the street, said black eye got a huge laugh from Mr. Alahan.

Charlie made sure to take full advantage of his wounds and told Stepford Shel and Fred that it was Dev that gave him the shiner.

Wow, that Charlie really is a jerk. A big stupid jerk - with a fiiiiiiine body and bedroom eyes. (I know, I should be in a 12 step program.)

Websters!
Iain's wife came to visit Sally about the Davenport Affair. As she was in mid rant, Kev came to the rescue and told her that Sally and Iain were not having an affair.

Why is Kev doing this? Seriously? Is it for the kids, or is he just that much a fool in love?

6 comments:

Shna said...

Kev is retarded. I would kick Sally so far to the curb she would bounce!

Pamer said...

drunken Gandalf was some of the funniest stuff I've seen on this show...especially when he suggested that Emily join he and Audrey for the lie dow LOL

I also love the fact that Diggory loves his own jokes so much. He's hilarious.

MJ said...

When Gandalf asked Audrey what her husband did for a living (on the premise that he would write Alf Roberts into his book) Audrey replys that Alf was a grocer.
Why didn’t Audrey tell Gandalf that Alf was also the Mayor of Weatherfield? Afterall, wasn’t Audrey always bragging about Alf being Mayor and Audrey being Lady Mayoress?

Jacqueline said...

MJ - yeah...wait a minute.

What's with Audrey? She didn't even seem that turned off by the Gandalf advances.

Jacqueline said...

Hey...I laugh at my own jokes...ain't nothing wrong with that.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go...I have a bun in the oven.

Jackie said...

Audrey really bugged me last night, I like to think of her as a smart woman, I can't believe she didn't see through him! And why didn't Fred jump in and "save" her??