Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Post Election Update - More Liars, Theives, Drunks and Scoundrels

First of all, for all us Corrie Canucks who are either Scottish background or come from the Mothership herself...I say....

Ye Scots, wha wish auld Scotland well!
Ye chief, to you my tale I tell,
Poor, plackless devils like mysel'!
It sets you ill,
Wi' bitter, dearthfu' wines to mell,
Or foreign gill.

May gravels round his blather wrench,
An' gouts torment him, inch by inch,
What twists his gruntle wi' a glunch
O' sour disdain,
Out owre a glass o' whisky-punch
Wi' honest men!

Happy Rabbie Burns Day!!!

Now, on with the show.

Baldwins - An Play in Three Acts

Act 1 - The Alpha

Mike is still living with his Queen, Alma. I mean, Penny. Wait, did I say Alma? No, no I said Penny.

Mike ended up calling Penny 'Alma' last night. Was this a senior's moment?

Act 2 - Heir Apparent and not so Apparent
Danny and Adam are having a few tense moments as Adam tries his hand at the ship's wheel over at Underworld. Danny makes it clear that everything is under control, except he comes up with egg on his face because Jamie is no where to be seen with the van.

My god man! You don't even have your own son under control! How are you ever going to run this factory!

Danny tries to work off his stress by having another go at Leanne. There's quite a scene at Roy's Rolls afterhours with Danny pulling out his best Snidely Whiplash impersonation. (Was it good for you, Betty?)

Leanne dumps him on his ass and when he tries to convince her that Jamie is having an affair with another girl, she lets him know who the 'other' woman is. Carol.

Danny's face falls as Jacqueline screams out, 'Da-da-daaaaaaaaaaaa'.

Act 3 - The Omega

JAMIE (feckin' Baldwins...can't keep them straight) takes Leanne to visit Carol and we can see that Carol has do I put it nicely....a crazy drunk lady with too many cats.

As Go-Betty expressed, they actually did this scene very nicely and I particularily liked the way Jamie's guilt and her manipulation worked well off of each other. She blames her downfall on the fact that he went to live with Danny.

I also particularily like how this fits nicely into another opportunity for me to throw in another Burns poem.

Thou hast me forsaken, Jamie,
Thou hast me forsaken;
Thou hast me forsaken, Jamie,
Thou hast me forsaken;
Thou canst love another jo,
While my heart is breaking;
Soon my weary een I'll close,
Never mair to waken, Jamie,
Never mair to waken!

Just in case we were going to feel too bad for Carol, she tells Jamie how about all the fun they used to have. Remember the time when you cried too much so I locked you in the garage? Good times. Good times.

Oh Gandalf! What Would Arogron Say?
The investors/book club meeting starts over at Roy's Rolls (Is it just me or does that place get a LOT of action?).

Gandalf gives a reading of 'The Canary Sings'; the part where Fred Elliot's character appears with the manly bulge of his...

After the reading, Gandalf collects the investment cheques made out to his publisher, Lional Hipkiss (sp?)and tells everyone how he came on to the street a 'poor stranger' but has left wealthier than he could have imagined.

At that very moment, our hero, the knitwit in knitwear, Ken Barlow, bursts through the door to announce that Mel is NOT Mel, but rather Lional Hipkiss!

Long story short, there's a lot of screaming and the gang is about to call the police. Mel/Lionel warns them that if they do, he'll expose them for the silly vain people they are.

So they let him trot off with all their money.

Okay...reality check. You live on a street with 40 other people. They all KNOW you're vain and silly.

Geez - what was his next threat going to be? Outing Sean?

Stepford Shel
Is an idiot.

After hearing everyone 'talk' about her Charlie, she is convinced by him that Betty's the trouble maker and that she should get rid of her. So Betty's on a bit of a hiatus right now.

Jim...oh .... Jim
Got into a fight with his cellmate and has had his probation revoked. So Liz has decided to STOP waiting for him and get out there and start living large.

Okay - I have a few things to say about Jim/Liz because they have probably one of the most toxic relationships I've ever seen on this show...but I must rush off and argue with an elderly German gentleman, so that will have to wait.


Pamer said...

there should have been another "da da daaaaaaaaaaa" when the knitwit in knitwear states his discovery

I kept thinking "did they really let him off with the money? Did I miss something?"


papasmurf said...

Do you think Mel kept their money? I wondered about that myself. It seems unlikely that crowd would so easily give up their hard earned cash. There is a moment after Mel is exposed when Blanche has her hand out, as if waiting for her cheque back, and when they cut back to her later she has some paper in her hand. Looks like I might have to watch Sunday morning and try to figure it out.
FYI - at the start of 'Act 3' it should read 'Jamie' not 'Danny' if memory serves me correctly.

Jacqueline said...

TY Papa! As stated before, I'm on my 5 scotch of the day and can't be trusted to keep the Baldwins straight.

I don't know...I didn't see anyone get their checks back. Maybe they're going to cancel them.

Did Roy get his money back?

MJ said...

Nobody got their money back from where I was sitting. But Mel did fish a pawn ticket out of his pocket, presumably for Blanche's missing figurines.

John said...

The missus called it on the best line of the night, courtesy of Mel:

"You have taken me into your hearts, just as I have taken you in," he says as he pads his breast pocket where their money lay.

It could have been in the editing but I'm pretty sure the point of Mel's misdirection about blabbing to the local paper was to allow himself to slip out with their money (of course, they could always stop payment on the cheques, except for Roy, who gave him cash).

Jacqueline said...

WAIT...I thought he put those figurines back.

Am I on crack?

papasmurf said...

There was the earlier missing figurine(s) - worth 200 quid or so.

Lori said...

About the earlier figurine,, I think that was when he told Emily he accidently broke it,, she said it was worth 200,, he started to say NO IT WASNT, then caught himself before giving himself away. (obviously the swindler was swindled there)

GoBetty said...

No one got their money back. I know, WTF??

A figurine was stolen / pawned but Mel lied and said he broke it. Pawn ticket was later returned to Emily.

Two other figurines were almost stolen but then put back.