Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Coronation Street Update from 10 Years Ago

Suffering from Coronation Street withdrawal? I bypassed election coverage last night and switched to Country Canada to cover life on the Street ten years ago.

(Links below go to descriptions of former Corrie characters.)

If only Kevin had a crystal ball in 1996. Sally was showing all the signs of being a social-climbing shrew even then. Mike Baldwin has the garage up for sale. Kev’s a mechanic in the garage but can’t afford the dosh to buy it. Sal stokes his ego with these words of encouragement: “Don’t you want to make something of yourself?” and “You’ve got no ambition at all,” and “Other people do things, Kev. Why not us?” Run Kev, run!

Sally, fair-weather friend of The Bank of Rita Sullivan, invites Rita round for tea in the hopes that her liver and onions special will loosen Rita’s pursestrings, resulting in a loan for the garage.

Chez Watts, Curly and Raquel assume the role of temporary B&B for Maureen whose husband Reg has fecked off with another woman. Raquel offers to fix Maureen’s hair and to help her “titivate.” Curly drives a freshly titivated Maureen back to her mum, Maud. Maud, for once in her life, doesn’t tell Maureen “I told you so,” in regard to Reg’s philandering.

Reg Holdsworth: bed-hopper

Meanwhile, the Wiltons (Derek and Mavis) don their wellies to visit their new allotment plot and test the pH of the soil, or, as Rita calls it, “The PhD test.” Derek and Mavis solemnly vow to the allotment superintendent to obey the first commandment, “Thou shalt tend thy allotment.”

Over at The Rovers Return, Percy Sugden lectures benefits mum Tricia Armstrong (who preceded Tracy Barlow as the most annoying woman in Weatherfield) on the ethics of lotteries. Tricia takes offence. Her only hope in hell of getting anywhere, due to an allergy to gainful employment, is to win the lotto. Tricia bogs off so Percy sidles up to Ken Barlow and asks if Ken agrees with him. Ken launches into a speech complete with references to the exploited masses, yada yada yada.

Percy Sugden: “In my day”

Still at the Rovers, Kev tells Mike he’s not interested in the garage anymore. Mike Baldwin approaches Don Brennan. Don is Kev’s only competition in the bid to buy the garage. Kev has been dragging his heels to make Mike an offer, (“You’ve no ambition at all, Kevin”) so Don and Baldwin shake on a deal.

Can’t get enough Coronation Street? Subscribe to Coronation Street Classics on CBC’s Country Canada.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You mean 2 women were willing to sleep with Reg???