Friday, October 14, 2005

Toxic Totty

The link in this posting contains viewer-sensitive material. Therefore, I provide the following disclaimers:

Avoid contact with skin, Contents under pressure, Some assembly required, For recreational use only, Colors may, in time, fade, Driver does not carry cash, No bills over $20 accepted, Call toll free before digging, Apply only to affected area, No riders, No wagering, No solicitors, Do not stamp, Do not disturb, As seen on TV, One size fits all, Do not immerse, Place stamp here, Simulated picture, All rights reserved, Slippery when wet, For office use only, No American coins, Times approximate, Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients, Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment, Return to sender, no forwarding address on file, unable to forward, This information is subject to change without notice, Some settling of contents may occur during shipping, Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery, Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform, Price does not include taxes, title, license, or destination charges, Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental, Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only, Dispose of properly, Edited for television, Use only as directed, Items sold separately, For off-road use only, Batteries not included, Don't try this at home, See label for sequence, Penalty for private use, Use unleaded fuel only, No purchase necessary, Your mileage may vary, Replace with same type, Booths for two or more, No alcohol, dogs, or horses, Do not write below this line, You must be present to win, Check here if tax deductible, Parental guidance suggested, First pull up, then pull down, For sale by prescription only, Sanitized for your protection, At participating locations only, Keep away from fire or flame, Prerecorded for this time zone, Void where prohibited or taxed, Not recommended for children, An equal opportunity employer, Use only in well-ventilated area, Reproduction strictly prohibited, All models over 18 years of age, No user-serviceable parts inside, Postage will be paid by addressee, Restaurant package, not for resale, List was current at time of printing, Sell before date stamped on carton, Some equipment shown is optional, This supersedes all previous notices, Your cancelled check is your receipt, Shading within a garment may occur, May be too intense for some viewers, Do not bend, fold, spindle, or mutilate, Freshest if eaten before date on carton, Be sure each item is properly endorsed, No other warranty expressed or implied, Substantial penalty for early withdrawal, Post office will not deliver without postage, If condition persists, consult your physician, Employees and their families are not eligible, Do not purchase if seal has been tampered with, We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone, This is not a competition, it is only an exhibition, Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement, No postage necessary if mailed in Canada, This product is meant for educational purposes only.

If you wish to continue and view the photograph, click here. Otherwise, avert your eyes and carry on to the next posting.


Jacqueline said...

Really MJ - you could have warned us!


kowy said...

MY EYES!!!!!!!!
The pain!!!
(c'mon...I haven't even had my coffee yet!)

GoBetty said...

BEST FUCKING LINK EVER. The chinless wonder has saggy tits.

John said...

What did I insist on seeing that which I could never unsee?

MJ said...

Where's our Pamer, then? I hope 'e hasn't popped his clogs over the shock of this photo. I'd never forgive myself.

Pamer said...

I don't know what to say. Honestly, i don't.

Thank heavens for the picture of the Maria, Candice and Sara